Ephesians 4:11-16 - Church Growth

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Better y'all singing that than me trying it during the sermon.

Enjoy that more.

That song's not just fun.

It also reminds us of an important truth that we're going to talk about this morning.

This morning we're back in Ephesians chapter 4.

Ephesians 4 · chapter mention

Let's remember where we are in our study of the book of Ephesians.

Paul has started out this letter to the church in Ephesus telling them about what God has done for them.

About how he's connected us by grace and in Christ to each other.

Paul has begun in chapter 4 as we've kind of crossed the midpoint of the book to start applying that to specific situations in our lives.

What's that going to mean for us in this situation or in this stage of life or in this area?

And he started inside the church with what it looks like for us to have true unity with brothers and sisters who are otherwise very different from us.

And then we looked at how there's diverse gifts given to those people who are unified in order to serve and build up the body.

And now he comes to his heart for the body of Christ.

What is it that he wants to see the church be and become?

These people who have unity through having the same father.

Who have this diversity of gifts for the sake of the kingdom.

God's now working them together toward maturity.

Church growth.

Not perhaps numerically the way we often think of church growth.

But spiritual maturity.

What will that look like in the body of Christ?

Will spiritual maturity be what we expect?

Ephesians 4 starting at verse 11.

These are not my words about church growth.

These are God's words.

So let's pay careful attention to the reading of his word.

And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers to equip the saints for the work of ministry.

For building up the body of Christ until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God.

To mature manhood.

To the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ.

So that we may no longer be children.

Tossed to and fro by the waves.

And carried about by every wind of doctrine.

By human cunning.

By craftiness and deceitful schemes.

Rather, speaking the truth in love.

We are to grow up in every way into him who is the head.

Into Christ.

From whom the whole body joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped.

When each part is working properly.

Makes the body grow.

So that it builds itself up in love.

All scripture is God breathed.

These are his words.

Let's ask for his help now.

Pray with me.

Father, we do indeed ask for your help.

We come to your word and are expectant.

Because we know that you love.

Love to make it come to life in our hearts.

To show us what it looks like for your bride.

To be the church that you've created her to be.

Oh Jesus, don't just teach us this morning.

Change us.

Transform us individually and as a church.

That we would be everything that you've designed us to be.

We ask it in your name.

Amen.

I thought about playing on the screen this morning.

A live feed from the one-year-old nursery.

As an illustration.

Just picture it though.

It would come in and you'd see a kid.

And in the span of one minute, he would play with ten different toys or books.

Right?

He'd pick one up and he'd look at it and play with it.

And then he'd see another one.

He'd throw that one down and pick up the next one.

And then a shiny one would come over there being played with by another kid, of course.

Which would make him want it even more.

And he'd put his down.

He'd grab another one.

Continuing to move from one toy to the next really quickly.

Kids are like that.

Especially young kids.

Easily distracted.

Right?

Not often intently focused on one thing for a long time.

I remember reading books with Lily, my two-year-old, when she just got strong enough to turn a page.

When you read the book, there aren't that many words on a page of a kid's book to begin with.

But you'd only get four or five of them in and she'd just flip the page.

And then you'd get the first four or five words on the next page and she'd flip right through and get to the end of the book and throw it down and grab another one.

And you really wouldn't even know what the story was about.

But that's all she wanted was to make it through the book and turn the pages.

Part of the immaturity of infants is that they lack focus.

They're easily distracted or confused or tricked if you're that mean.

But we can be like this in our Christianity, can't we?

We can have what you might call a Pinterest Christianity.

Where, you know, I met Jesus a while back and he was neat.

But now what my Christian life looks like is grabbing at the latest and greatest idea.

A blog over here, an article I read over there.

And, oh, and then there's a really good book coming out.

I bet it's going to tell me what it looks like to really be a Christian.

And pastors are really good at this, by the way.

I'm describing something that I live with.

You know how many articles and blogs there are about being the pastor you're supposed to be

and making the new thing for your church so that you're really the church you're supposed to be?

There's a lot of those, and I read them.

And we can fall into that, moving from one thing to the next

and not ever going too deep for too long on any one thing.

We've certainly read more blog articles in the last year than chapters of the Bible.

So we easily get blown around by every wind of doctrine.

We get distracted, for example, by the good feelings of the prosperity gospel that we hear so much.

We think, I'll be a really mature Christian and avoid all that pain and suffering at the same time.

That'll be great.

That's what I'll do for a while.

We begin to buy the bill of goods our culture has been selling for years,

that truth is individual.

It's what's good for me, but it may or may not be what's true for you.

And so truth has become cheap, right?

Pragmatism, individualism have become much more valuable.

If we evaluate our Christian lives, our relationships with God,

if we're really honest, we feel like we're just floating along,

kind of in the same place I've been, just kind of making it through,

wondering if I've really got this figured out,

or if there's not something more to following Jesus,

still feel immature, confused about what following Jesus is really about.

Have you ever felt that way?

I've felt that way.

Paul describes this kind of spiritual immaturity in verse 14 here.

Remember what he says?

He talks about us being children tossed to and fro by the waves,

carried about by every wind of doctrine,

by human cunning, by craftiness and deceitful schemes.

Paul doesn't want this for us,

but he says we're just kind of floating out there on the ocean,

easily blown around, easily taken in.

And sadly, many days we're quite content with that, aren't we?

It feels pretty nice out here on the waves,

just floating around, nothing too much to think about.

But not every day will be easy.

Storms will come, and Paul wants us to be anchored,

to have a mature and firm grounding.

This passage is undeniably about church growth,

not about numbers of people in the pews or dollars in the budget,

but about spiritual maturity of the body and its individual members.

Just look in six verses,

we read about building up, mature manhood,

grow up, grow, build up, over and over.

This is what Paul's getting at.

He's explaining,

how does this unified body with diverse gifts develop and mature?

What keeps it strong and healthy?

What makes it flourish?

How do you know when it's really going strong?

And our natural tendency,

when we think about maturity,

is to think that,

hey, we'll get it to you.

We'll be this great church,

a strong, vibrant, healthy place

where we've been around long enough

that we've kind of figured church out,

and we've got lots of good stuff going for us.

Maturity will be us getting it together as a church.

Of course we think that,

because that's what maturity looks like

in the other areas of our lives, right?

When you grow up into adulthood,

maturity means you need mom and dad less and less.

That's what your parents are raising you towards, right?

That you can leave and survive on your own,

that you'll be independent.

And at work,

you begin to mature into upper management,

which means what?

You need the oversight of your boss less and less.

You learn to work independently.

But Jesus says it's different in my church.

Maturity is not independent success,

but being increasingly dependent,

being connected to, bound to,

anchored in Christ, right?

In Him, the most important thing,

and then to each other in His body.

Look at verses 15 and 16,

the way He says it.

Rather, speaking the truth in love,

we're to grow up where?

Grow up in every way into Him

who is the head,

into Christ,

from whom the whole body,

coming from Christ,

the whole body,

joined and held together

and each part working properly

is going to grow

so that it builds itself up.

That's how the body builds itself up.

That's where growth comes from.

The image is of dropping anchor into Jesus.

Not running around looking for all sorts

of new and improved ideas

for the latest and greatest way

to be a Christian or a church,

but dropping our anchor down deep in Jesus,

focusing on the one thing

that's most important.

The Bible talks about it in a lot of ways.

It talks about it as abiding in Jesus,

finding our rest in Him,

being connected to Him.

We strengthen our connection

to the head of the body,

which builds us up

and grows and matures us

because that's what He does.

We need to learn of Jesus more

as we grow in our faith,

not less.

We need to hear the gospel more

as we mature in our faith,

not less.

And that may seem obvious or churchy,

like of course we want to talk about Jesus,

but you'll hear very different things.

You'll talk to people who will say,

hey, you know,

I heard a sermon about

Jesus rescuing sinners

and the wonderful grace of Jesus

that saved us from our sins,

and you'll hear somebody say,

you know, that was a great sermon

for someone who's never heard

the gospel before,

but I don't know,

I'm a mature Christian.

I've followed Jesus a long time.

I want more meat.

I want something else.

And Paul says maturity means

never getting over Jesus,

never moving beyond Jesus,

always asking how Jesus impacts

this situation in my life,

dropping the anchor down

deeper into Jesus,

not hauling it up

and going in search

of more exciting waters,

not setting him aside

for the next shiny toy

that we notice,

going deeper into Jesus.

It's actually why this passage says

Jesus gave evangelists,

shepherds, teachers,

and so forth to his people,

because they're supposed

to build the body up

in the knowledge

of the Son of God,

experiencing him more,

becoming like him,

verse 13.

That's maturity.

He doesn't want the latest heresy

to confuse you.

He doesn't want the storms of life

to wash your faith away.

He doesn't want the shiny toy

to outshine the beauty of Christ

in your mind and eyes and heart.

So he says those who teach

are to show us the beauty of Jesus

over and over and over,

to help us learn more of him,

to know him more deeply,

to drop our anchors down in Jesus.

Don't ever think you need him less,

or that if you did,

it would be real mature

to need him less.

I saw this pretty clearly

in the text as I was reading it.

It's in other places in the Bible,

but I thought it would be helpful

to talk to some people

who've been following Jesus

a few more years than I have,

to see if it's practically true,

if they've found this to,

in their lives,

really to be true

of what maturity looks like.

I was thinking about

some of our senior members here,

and I thought,

you know what?

They pray a lot.

They're here a lot

in worship and Sunday school

and small groups

and Bible studies,

and that's not necessarily

a mark of spiritual maturity.

Attendance at Sunday school

doesn't qualify you

as spiritually mature,

but I wondered

why they're so regular.

Even after all these years

when six or eight decades

into following Jesus,

surely they're not coming

to hear something new, right?

Thinking they're going to

learn something else,

and I know from talking to them

it hurts to get up in the morning.

It's not easy to get up early

and get going.

Why such a priority?

So I thought I'd talk

to a few of them,

and I won't mention their names.

Their ages are all under 100,

but over 80,

and every single one of them

told me without hesitation

that it's true.

They feel their need for Jesus

more now than ever before.

One lady I interrupted

somewhere in the middle

of Deuteronomy, I believe,

said, and I quote,

the older you get,

the more you realize

you can't do it yourself.

They told me lots of things

like digging into God's Word

is the way they get their strength,

that they're constantly learning

and needing to remember

that God's in control

because they do things

like worry about their kids.

Isn't that crazy?

Worry about their kids?

They're actually struggling

with what I'm struggling with,

and they need to go back

to Christ and remember

how much He loves their kids.

Other things like that.

They said they need to hear

about Jesus

and be with people

who point them to Jesus,

that they're desperate for it.

And I said to one,

really,

I said to one of them,

seriously,

like a Sunday school class

taught by someone

half your age,

aren't you just being nice?

Oh, it helps me,

she said.

It helps me so much.

Maturity.

Dependence.

The older you get,

the more you realize

you can't do it yourself.

Don't take it from me.

Take it from people

who follow Jesus

longer than you've been alive.

I find that's always a good idea.

John Lennon wrote

the number one hit

that we heard

just a minute ago.

After he'd had

a lot of success,

a lot of things

had gone well

in his singing

and songwriting career,

and he'd been writing

about a lot of things,

but this was kind of

a turning point

where he decided

to write a song

that was honest

and truthful

about what he was learning

about life

and what he was seeing

in himself.

And you see what he says?

When I was younger,

I never needed

anybody's help.

I was strong

and capable

and self-assured.

But now something's changed.

My life has changed,

and maybe my favorite line,

my independence

seems to vanish

in the haze.

I need you.

I have need.

I'm not capable.

It's not that I don't need anybody.

I have great need.

I'm not independent anymore.

I thought I'd get here

and find myself

to have arrived,

and instead not.

more of Jesus,

being anchored in him.

That's how maturity occurs.

That's how church growth happens.

I'd ask you this morning,

what's informing your thinking?

What's shaping the way

that you live?

Ask yourself that question.

What things are impacting you?

Is it or he or she

pointing you to Jesus,

teaching you more about him?

I'm not anti-blog articles.

I read some of them.

I write some of them.

I don't have anything against them.

But we ought to ask ourselves,

what's shaping me?

Is it anchoring me to Jesus,

or is it leaving me adrift

on a sea of good advice?

We are to grow up

in every way

into him who is the head,

into Christ.

It's about him

and knowing him more

and going deeper

into Jesus.

But how do I know?

How would I know

if I'm maturing?

How would I look at my life

and how would I look

at my church and say,

what would it look like

if I was maturing in Christ,

if this was really happening?

Do I just kind of think,

well, maybe I feel more mature

than I used to.

I'm kind of happy

with where I've come.

How can I look at my life

and know if growth is occurring?

If this is really going on.

Paul says in this passage

that maturity will look like

truth and love being connected.

Let me show you this in the text

and then we'll talk about

what it means for us.

It's so, so beautiful.

Truth and love being connected.

Paul begins the passage

talking about truth,

about teaching truth,

the importance of good teaching

and understanding

and learning things.

that we're building up

the body of Christ

as that happens.

And he ends the passage

saying that connected to the head,

the body builds itself up in love.

Verse 16.

Truth and love,

truth and love

all through these verses.

And then notice verse 15 again.

Remember, this is the verse

that's contrasting

with the immaturity of verse 14

where we're blown around by the waves,

carried by every wind of doctrine.

What's the contrast to that?

He says,

rather,

rather,

what I don't want you to be

as spiritually immature children,

rather,

speaking the truth in love,

we are to grow up in every way

into Him who is the head,

into Christ.

Speaking the truth in love.

There's actually not a word there

in this passage for speaking.

It's really,

in the Greek,

truthing in love.

Truthing in love,

so connected to each other,

living the truth.

It's not less than

speaking the truth,

certainly,

but it's not just,

I say true things calmly

and with a smile on my face.

Speaking truth in love.

Sometimes that's all we think about

when we hear

speaking the truth in love.

I will say,

true things calmly

with a smile on my face.

It means more than that.

It means being about

the truth in love,

living in such a way

that truth and love

are connected

and intertwined

that you can't

pull them apart.

And what Paul's saying

is that as we connect

truth and love,

we grow up into Jesus,

right?

Rather,

speaking the truth in love,

we are to grow up

in every way into Him.

As we speak the truth in love,

we grow up into Jesus,

right?

Why?

Why?

Because that's exactly

who He is.

You see,

for most of us,

truth and love

are mutually exclusive

in our lives.

Most of us are much more

comfortable with one

than the other,

aren't we?

And if you don't know it

about yourself,

ask your friends,

they know.

Are you more comfortable

with the truth or love?

Which one?

For many of us,

impersonally,

we are very passionate

about truth.

Look at your Facebook posts.

Man,

I'll tell you about the truth

on Facebook,

but then when I get

face to face with you,

I'm spineless.

I don't want to hurt

your feelings.

All of a sudden,

I can't love you

and speak truth

at the same time.

They seem mutually

exclusive for us.

We have to pick

one or the other.

But for Jesus,

truth and love

are never an either or,

but always a both and.

How is He described

in John 1

when He comes

from the Father?

Full of what?

Full of grace

and truth.

Jesus spoke

some of the toughest

moral teaching

in the history

of the world

and shared life

with some of the most

immoral people

of His day.

That's how He lived,

right?

Some of the most

stringent moral teaching

ever,

and yet He's hanging out.

He's relating

with immoral people.

He was a religious leader

who befuddled

religious leaders.

sinners.

And then in the greatest

union of truth

and love

ever in the history

of the world,

He went to the cross

for sinners.

The cross where the

just and holy God

of the universe

speaks truth

about sin,

how He hates it,

how serious

the offense is,

what it deserves,

and He pulls

no punches.

And the cross

where the

just and holy God

of the universe

loves sinners.

Where He sends

His Son

and sacrifices

His Son

for them.

Absolute truth

without compromise

and amazing grace

without measure

in the cross.

Isn't it glorious?

Isn't it beautiful

what Jesus

has done on the cross?

We sing about the cross

but stop to think

about it.

The truth

and honesty

about what our problem

really is

and the solution

to it,

I'm not just going

to tell you

what you deserve,

I'm taking it

for you.

See Him again

on the cross.

No soft selling

the truth.

All self-sacrificing

love.

That's what our

head is like,

right?

As we learn

more about Him,

anchor ourselves

more deeply

in Him,

are equipped

from His heart

of love

to grow as His body

as verse 16

describes,

that's what we

will begin

to look like.

People in churches

who ooze truth

and love

in the same moment,

whose lives

are full of grace

and truth.

Listen,

love without truth

is at best

mere sentimentality

and at worst

false hope.

And truth

without love

is at best

mere moralism

and at worst

false teaching.

They're both

terrible

if you divorce

them from each other.

Francis Schaeffer

once said,

biblical orthodoxy

without compassion

is surely

the ugliest thing

in the world.

Truth without love

doesn't become

truth anymore.

It becomes

something ugly

and disfigured.

truth.

But truth

thing in love

while not easy

is Christ-like

and counter-cultural

and glorious.

It's the glory

of our Savior

and who He is.

How He came,

how He lived,

what He did

on the cross.

Truth and love

together.

together.

So what might

maturing look like

at Southwood?

What would it look

like for us

to grow into Christ?

To be true thing

in love?

I want to suggest

a few things

this morning

some of which

may make all of us

think a little bit.

The first thing

I think it would

look like

is that people

would have trouble

fitting us

into a box.

They wouldn't know

how to categorize us.

They'd hear

what we teach

and assume

we must be

conservative,

Bible-thumping,

intolerant fools.

They'd see

how we love

and assume

we must be

liberal,

open-minded,

anything-goes hippies.

As we mature,

this is what I mean,

I should get calls

from other pastors

in town

who see

how we

relate to,

speak of,

and befriend

our homosexual

and transgender

neighbors.

Others who are

marginalized

and people might

expect to find

rejection

from church people.

And I ought to

get a call

from another pastor

saying,

hey,

I'm confused,

I'm a little concerned.

Are y'all

compromising?

Have you gotten

lax on

biblical teaching?

And I ought to

be able to say,

no,

no,

not at all.

We're just

starting to learn

together what

true thing

in love

means.

What it means

to have

truth and love

in the same

moment,

in the same

relationship.

I think it would

look like our

small groups

and our

closest friends

challenging us

on personal

things like

how we spend

our money,

who we're

starting to

spend time

with and

getting a little

bit too close

to and

pushing us

away from

those relationships

back to

our spouse.

Starting to

hear hard

things like

that that we

usually don't

talk to,

even talk about,

even with our

close friends.

And it would

look like us

receiving those

challenges as

love,

not antagonism.

You see,

if truth is just

individual,

if I haven't

firmly anchored

in truth,

then I have no

basis on which

to speak into

your life and

say anything

because,

I don't know,

I might think

this is good,

but it might be

fine for you

to be doing

that.

I can't love

you enough to

speak into

your life at

all.

But if we've

together anchored

in the truth

of Christ,

then I have

to love you

enough to

call you back

to Him away

from your

idolatrous or

immoral pursuits.

And I may have

to call them

what they are in

order to actually

be loving you.

You may need

to hear it in a

way that shocks

you and gets

your attention.

And those people

willing to speak

and those people

willing to

receive would

actually become

best friends.

And you'd

really have a

small group.

You'd be

truthing in

love with

each other.

I think we'd

start to realize

our dependence

on Christ so

much more that

we'd need a

new room for

prayer gatherings

due to

overcrowding.

We'd repent

of the scorn

and hatred

in our hearts

for others

in the church

who we felt

were underdressed,

too wealthy,

or made the

wrong schooling

decision for

their kids.

We'd stop

looking down

our noses at

them across

the sanctuary

and we'd

repent of

our sinful

hearts.

Our concerns

about the

worship and

the sermon

would be that

it didn't

exalt Christ

enough,

not that it

didn't entertain

me or it

went too

long.

We would

no longer

be comfortable

letting the

church be

known as the

place of truth

and the

government the

place to get

love and

help.

We'd have

session and

diaconate meetings

where we

brainstormed and

discussed how to

maintain our

commitment to

biblical truth

while reaching

out in new

ways to our

community.

There's lots

of things.

Go think for

yourself what

would it look

like.

I had to stop

the list at

some point but

I do have one

more.

I think we'd

become a refuge

for the broken

that they run to

when crisis and

hard times hit

because we're

anchored to a

rock.

People struggling

through divorce.

People beaten

down by alcohol

addiction, caught

in pornography

would find hope

and a home

right here.

Gordon

McDonald visited

an Alcoholics

Anonymous group

for several

months to

report on what

he learned and

to watch and

observe and be

part of the

group.

He writes this

about one

interaction in

the group.

One morning

Kathy, I

guessed her

age at 35,

joined us for

the first time.

One look at

her face caused

me to conclude

that she must

have been

Hollywood

beautiful at

21.

Now her face

was swollen,

her eyes red,

her teeth rotting,

her hair looked

unwashed, uncombed

for who knows

how long.

I've been in

five states in

the past month,

she said.

I've slept under

bridges on

several nights.

Been arrested,

raped, robbed.

She's crying now

uncontrollably.

I don't know

what to do.

I don't want to

be homeless anymore.

But I can't

stop drinking.

I can't stop.

I can't.

He says,

next to Kathy

was a rather

large woman

named Marilyn.

Marilyn had

been sober

for over a

dozen years.

She reached

out to Kathy

with both arms

and pulled her

head to her

chest and

stroked her

hair.

He writes,

I was close

enough to hear

Marilyn speak

quietly into

Kathy's ear.

honey,

you're going

to be okay.

You're with

us now.

We can deal

with this

together.

All you have

to do is

keep coming.

You hear me?

Keep on

coming.

And then

Marilyn kissed

the top of

Kathy's head.

I was

awestruck.

The simple

words,

the affection,

the tenderness,

how Jesus

like.

I couldn't

avoid a

troubling

question that

morning.

Could this

have happened

in the

places where

I have

worshipped?

Would there

have been a

space in the

program for

Kathy to

tell her

story?

Would there

have been a

Marilyn to

respond in

this way?

How Jesus

like.

I'm so

thankful that

I've seen

Marilyn's at

Southwood.

They're great,

great people to

have in your

congregation.

It's a gift

to have

someone who

will pull

you close

and comfort

you like

that.

I've heard

just recently

from a

former member

who shared

with some

of us a

deep addiction

a few years

ago.

She says

looking back,

quote,

I thought

guilt and

shame would

absolutely

kill me,

but not one

person looked

on me with

judgment,

only love

and grace.

And these

loving members

got her to

rehab.

They wouldn't

ignore the

truth.

Today she

calls her

story a

story of

redemption.

She met

Marilyn's

at

Southwood,

full of

truth and

grace at

the same

time,

both extended

to her.

I think

that's what

happens as

we grow.

We more

and more

are a

refuge for

broken people

for each

other.

We meet

each other

right there.

And this

isn't simple.

It's not

neat and

tidy.

Every

one of

these

situations

requires

wisdom

and talking

together

about how

best to

approach

them.

There are

lots of

challenging

cultural

questions these

days.

Lots of

questions we

could ask

in each

one of

them.

But one

filter we

should have

on every

Facebook

post,

every

conversation,

every

decision is,

does it

connect

truth and

love?

What great

conversations to

be having,

y'all.

Oh,

that we would

have conversations

like that

more and

more.

We'd be

having them.

The great

thing about

having a

tough conversation

like that is

that you can

have them in

the comfort

that this is

true.

You're not

going to

out-truth

Jesus and

you're not

going to

out-love

Jesus.

Neither of

them.

Neither of

those things

is going to

happen in

what you

come up

with.

So having

these

conversations

will push

us into

Jesus,

will anchor

us deeper

in Jesus,

make us

increasingly

dependent upon

Jesus.

Our head

because he's

the one

we know

who's the

only one

who's perfectly

brought grace

and truth

together.

He's perfect

in truth

and in

love.

He's the

one who

ultimately

guides his

body and

grows his

body and

that's good

news for

us.

Let's ask

for his

help.

Jesus,

help.

Help us.

We do

not naturally

love people

like this,

but you

do.

It's how

you love

us.

It's what

you did

on the

cross.

We're so

thankful for

it.

It means we

know it's

costly and

we're not

really eager

honestly to

sacrifice a

whole lot.

Oh,

Jesus,

would the

fullness of

grace and

truth that we

see in you

be so

beautiful,

so glorious

to us and

so grip our

hearts that

we would

grow into

our head in

every way.

Father,

make us like

Jesus.

We pray in

his name.

Amen.

For more

information,

visit us

online at

southwood.org.