I John 4:7-11 "Love One Another"

You are listening to a message from Southwood Presbyterian Church in Huntsville, Alabama.

Our passion is to experience and express grace.

Join us.

This recording is a fresh recording of this sermon due to a technical glitch during our

service on Sunday.

I hope you'll pick up one of these pew cards about the summer of one another and do be

praying with us about how you can lean into that together as we're hoping to both learn

and experience together the Holy Spirit shaping us into a gospel community, a community of

people bound together by the work of Jesus, transformed together by the grace of Jesus,

and sent out together on the mission of Jesus.

That mission is where we started last week, talking about the purpose for which God has

made us His people, to declare and demonstrate God's glory and grace here and everywhere.

God answers the loneliness of this world with the life-giving relationships of His church.

So now as we dive into what those relationships are to look like, how we relate to one another

in this body, I want to begin this morning with a bit of an extended introduction about our

problem of loneliness.

This will be addressed in today's passage as well as throughout the summer as we talk about these

one another passages.

Did you know there will be a lonely person in your next conversation?

Statistically speaking, when you're at the office tomorrow and run into a co-worker,

one of you is regularly lonely.

When you're talking with a couple of friends at the pool tonight, one of them is probably

lonely.

A huge study of Americans last year from Cigna reveals nearly half of us sometimes or always

feel lonely, left out.

And every time a study comes out, the statistics on loneliness just get worse.

You've probably heard by now of a loneliness epidemic.

It's becoming a fairly common medical term.

Many studies showing that the health effects of loneliness are similar to smoking 15 cigarettes

a day.

This led former U.S.

Surgeon General Vivek Murthy to say,

During my years caring for patients, the most common pathology I saw was not heart disease

or diabetes.

It was loneliness.

And it's this epidemic that led British Prime Minister Theresa May last year to create a senior

level position in her government called Minister of Loneliness.

And to seek ways to address this growing problem where there's over 9 million British people often

or always lonely.

And she said,

For far too many people, loneliness is the sad reality of modern life.

We are a society that's bought the lie that happiness is an individual accomplishment.

It's what New York Times columnist David Brooks says.

He writes,

If I can have just one more victory, lose 15 pounds, or get better at meditation, then I

will be happy.

But people looking back on their lives from their deathbeds tell us that happiness is found

amid thick and loving relationships.

It's found by defeating self-sufficiency for a state of mutual dependence.

It's easy to say you live for relationships, but it's very hard to do.

It's hard to see other people in all their complexity.

It's hard to communicate from your depths, not your shallows.

It's hard to stop performing.

Brooks is right, isn't he?

We've bought the lie of self-sufficiency in our culture of individualism.

Where participation in non-profit community organizations, religious institutions, parent-teacher associations,

anything with a group is rapidly declining.

In fact, from 1980 to 2000, there was a 33% decline in family dinners.

The rate of having others in our homes dropped nearly in half in that time, and the decline continues.

According to these statistics, many of you won't be surprised by these statistics,

because you felt this loneliness.

No one gets me.

No one really knows me.

No one understands me.

See, it's not merely physical isolation where there literally is no one with you.

This loneliness is more relational, emotional.

People are lonely in all sorts of places with other people around them.

You may be lonely in a marriage, on a college campus, in a nursing home, amidst a busy office,

with a 90-day snap streak, while surrounded by kids.

It's easy to be alone in a room full of people if no one really knows or understands or gets me.

So what that means is that it is easy to be alone right here.

In this room full of people, it's actually quite easy to be alone.

And loneliness is often true and actually quite acutely felt at church.

My awareness of the loneliness is heightened by the fact there are so many people around,

but no one who understands me.

No meaningful relational connection.

I almost started this sermon with a video like the ones you've seen on the news,

where the victims are blacked out, silhouetted to conceal their identity,

so they can tell their story in their own words, but you don't know who they are.

And I thought about having several Southwood members tell of how they feel lonely at church.

I decided that was a bit melodramatic, and you would believe me if I told you some of the stories myself.

I've talked with people here who've said things like this to me.

I love this church, but I just don't have any really good friends here.

I'm not sure there's anyone who really gets me.

Or they've said, we used to feel so connected here at Southwood,

but so many of our friends have left over the years,

and we're having a hard time finding our place now.

Or, we found this church to be one of the friendliest we've ever visited,

but after being here a couple years,

we're struggling to develop deep connections and meaningful relationships.

I don't say these things to shame us.

I tell you these stories as a reminder of how much we specifically need God's answers to our loneliness.

It's not an epidemic that's out there somewhere where other people are lonely.

It's a struggle right here in this room, in this community.

If you don't feel it, others around you do.

When you have a conversation in the hallway after church, one of you is likely lonely.

What's even worse if you read about loneliness is the answers that many offer.

I won't bore you with all the prescriptions,

but one from a prominent psychiatrist stuck out because it reveals our blindness in this.

Her answer to the loneliness and isolation you feel,

and I quote,

befriend yourself.

Thankfully, God answers our loneliness.

In fact, we're only learning these days more about what He has seen from the beginning.

It is not good for man to be alone.

He created us in His image,

the image of the triune God, Father, Son, Holy Spirit,

and perfect relationship.

He created us as relational beings.

So when He looks at His good, good, very good creation and says,

it's not good for man to be alone,

that's a relational status, not a marital status.

And yes, God gives Himself in relationship,

walking and talking with the man,

but He also wants the man to have another human,

a woman, a friend, a companion like Him.

So when mankind falls and sin breaks our relationship with God,

and our relationship with each other,

God answers that broken relationship,

that lonely isolation,

by sending His Son to redeem

and to institute not merely individuals who know God

and have relationship with Him,

but even more than that,

a church, a family,

a community shaped by the gospel.

God answers the broken loneliness of this world,

yours and mine,

with gospel community.

And He tells us what the relationships in that community

ought to look like.

That's the backdrop from the Garden of Eden

to today,

of God telling us about one anothering.

This morning, take a Bible,

turn to 1 John chapter 4,

1 John 4 · chapter mention

and we will start with the most common

of the one another's in the New Testament,

love one another.

If you've got your Bible,

this is a great example this morning

of a time where the best place

for you to get distracted during the sermon

is these verses all around,

the ones we're going to read.

It's why I want you to have a Bible in your hands.

If you get distracted,

1 John 3, 1 John 4,

the whole chapter,

they're talking about these same things.

So you can read more about it there.

But this morning,

we're going to read 1 John 4,

starting at verse 7.

This is God's Word.

Beloved, let us love one another.

For love is from God,

and whoever loves has been born of God

and knows God.

Anyone who does not love does not know God,

because God is love.

In this, the love of God was made manifest among us,

that God sent His only Son into the world

so that we might live through Him.

And this is love,

not that we have loved God,

but that He loved us

and sent His Son to be the propitiation,

the atoning sacrifice

for our sins.

Beloved, if God so loved us,

we also ought to love one another.

Father, let's pray.

Father, we thank You for Your Word,

and we ask for Your help

that You would not only teach us,

but by Your Spirit

that You would transform and mold our hearts

that we might know Your love

and show Your love to others.

In Jesus' name,

Amen.

Let us love one another.

We ought to love one another.

In many ways,

when we talk about loving one another,

we're talking about the foundation

of the relationships God calls us into

in His church.

Many of these one another's

that we'll be talking about

build off of this one

and live it out

in different situations of life.

As I've read through this

and other passages

where God commands us

to love one another,

I've written this working description

of love for us.

Three parts.

It's deeply felt value

moving toward one another

in sacrificial action.

deeply felt value.

In other words,

love involves our emotions,

feeling something toward someone else, right?

We're told to love one another deeply

and earnestly

and from the heart,

genuinely finding someone else

significant and valuable

in themselves.

Where is that value going to come from

when you don't really like someone

different from you?

We'll see that as we go.

But something's got to happen

if we're going to love them

from the heart.

Of course,

it's a feeling

that leads also to actions.

Sacrificial action.

The love God felt

led Him to give, right?

God so loved the world

that He gave.

That love here is a verb.

That love looks like something,

John says.

And what it looks like

is sending His Son

into the world

that we might live

through Him.

The agape love,

that's the word John uses

throughout this passage for love,

is both God's love

and our love.

Same word

over and over.

For John,

it's this consistently active,

even condescending love

that is,

it's tangible

and for the good

of someone else

because the lover

places value upon them

even when it's not deserved.

Even when bending down

to reach them.

And so as God does,

love acts in costly,

sacrificial ways

for the good of the other.

It's the way God has loved us

and the way we are to love

one another.

Not just feeling it,

but showing it.

You know what this is like.

Some of you are married

to someone like me

who says,

I love you a lot.

Maybe too often.

And sometimes,

when that love

is not being demonstrated

by my thoughtful action,

it's even frustrating

to be told

that that feeling is there.

See,

it's missing something

when I stand next

to an overgrown yard

and while watching

the football game,

tell my wife,

I love her.

You might feel like saying

even,

no way,

don't tell me that again

until I can see it.

Until you show me.

And at the same time,

most of us

wouldn't feel

very loved

by a friend or spouse

who did all of the things

we expected dutifully,

checked off all the lists,

but claimed to feel

nothing at all for us.

You see my list

of completed projects?

I love her.

No.

You're always

disrespectful

and constantly cold

and completely uncaring

toward her.

No,

that's not love.

Love is deeply felt value

combined with

sacrificial action.

They go together

and even feed each other,

don't they?

Significantly,

those two things happen

as love moves towards another

with those feelings and actions.

See,

this is where you'll notice

that love is a verb

with an object

where our call

is to move

into relationship,

not just generically

to love.

We're not just told

love,

love generally.

No,

love God,

love neighbor,

love enemies,

love brothers and sisters,

love,

in this case,

one another.

In our passage,

particularly,

love those

within the family of God.

Within your church family,

there must be

someone whose life

you are entering

with your love.

You're engaging

in relationship,

removing their aloneness

as you bend towards them.

Love pushes you

toward one another

because you value them.

You're willing to sacrifice

for them

in a relationship

where you even pay the price

to enter in,

to understand someone

different from you.

We talk about being driven

by relationships

and our core commitments

here at Southwood.

We say we genuinely love people

and are committed

to developing

life-giving relationships

inside and outside the church.

These relationships

with others

created in God's image

are a reflection

of the relational nature

of the Trinity.

And we share

the heart of God

when we put others

before ourselves

and are willing

to share our lives

with them.

Sounds good,

but it's fair to ask,

do we really love people

or are we just friendly

on Sunday mornings?

Do we put legs

on our love

in one another's lives?

Do we really find

ourselves and others

pulled out

of lonely isolation

into true community?

Now hear me,

I'm not down

on Southwood here.

Y'all love well

so often

and love my family

so well.

But going deeper

is hard,

isn't it?

And even when we do well,

when God commends

a church for its love,

the command is typically

love more and more.

Don't stop loving.

Continue to overflow

with love

toward one another.

Don't stop.

There's always room

to grow

in this vital area.

Tertullian writes

that it was said

of Christians

in the first couple centuries,

see how they love

one another.

They are even willing

to die

for one another.

We've celebrated

this week

many who loved

like that

75 years ago

on D-Day

and we've marveled

at how hard

that kind

of sacrificial love

must be.

It's hard.

It requires a lot.

I mean,

I don't think

I've ever seen

anyone die

for someone else

during a worship service

here in this room.

True love

that removes loneliness

doesn't happen

during the meet and greet time.

It may start there,

but it doesn't end there.

To do what God

is calling us to here

involves intentional,

personal sacrifice

that can only happen

when I've entered

into someone's life

in relationship,

beginning to learn

who they are,

how I can show love

to them particularly.

It's why you'll hear us

say over and over

this summer

we want everyone

at Southwood

in a small group

and or a connect community.

Those are not

the only places

loneliness can be put to death

where I like to say

loneliness goes to die.

They're not the only places

that happens,

but they're good steps

toward knowing

and being known

in relationship.

We can't say as a church

that we love

our homebound members

if we don't make time

to visit them.

We can't say as a church

that we love youth

if we don't make a priority

of leading a small group

for them,

showing up in their lives

consistently.

Maybe that's the small group

you should be in this fall.

We can't say as a church

that we love families

if we don't spend

enough time listening

to understand

why the middle-aged couple

in the hallway

seems sad

or tired.

Are they struggling

in their marriage

with their kids?

Something else?

Do you even know?

I didn't say loving

one another

would be comfortable

or easy.

Neither did God.

In fact,

he said it would be costly.

In a gospel community,

you'll have to love

plenty of people

that you wouldn't put

on your own list

who are not easy

for you to love.

The value,

valuing the other

is the key.

I value myself,

but we must value

one another

because you won't move

toward another

with sacrificial action

unless you actually

value them.

And often,

unfortunately,

we don't.

You've said it before

of someone.

We don't click.

He's just awkward.

She's so difficult

or condescending.

And those things

may be true,

but here's the beauty

of love

in God's family.

They may be difficult

for you to love,

but God loves him.

But she is valuable,

precious to God.

God sent his son

and Jesus gave

his precious blood

for that one

who's hard

for you to love.

Her sins

that you can hardly stand

to put up with

that drive you crazy.

Jesus cares about them

and gave his precious blood

for those sins.

How dare we value

someone less

than God does?

How dare we say

he's not worth

the trouble

to me?

What does love

look like,

pastor?

I want to be loving,

but it's so hard.

How do I do that?

Where does it come from?

Y'all,

it is hard,

but it's not

complicated.

We love

because he first

loved us.

God sent his own son

into the world

that we might live

through him.

And this is love

that God paid a price

that we can't even imagine

to move toward

you and me

and toward every one

of your brothers and sisters

and bring us

into a family together

where that love

defines our relationship.

Southwood,

if God so loved us,

we also ought

to love

one another.

I want to challenge you

to put a face

on love today,

to put a name

on love,

make it personal.

I want you to just

pick one person,

pick now

or pray about it

this afternoon,

perhaps,

one person

to move toward

in one way

this summer.

I'll take him

to lunch,

I'll visit her

and ask her

to share her story,

I'll spend time

with that young person

or that old person.

Bonus points

if you pick someone

you struggle to value

and love already.

But can you just imagine

with me for a minute,

imagine what that would do

to our community

if every one of us

entered thoughtfully,

even sacrificially,

into the life

of one other person

this summer.

Statistically speaking,

we'd remove

a lot of aloneness.

A lot of loneliness

would be gone.

Practically speaking,

we would see a network

of life-giving relationships

that would multiply

in our community.

Missionally speaking,

people in our community,

those around us,

the watching world,

would see the reality

of the love of God

and the compelling worth

of a God

who loves us

and calls us

to love

and live

for Him.

I dream

of homebound members

tired

from so many visits

and sending us

to their neighbors

at the nursing home

because they're so exhausted

by so many of us

showing up.

I dream of young people

outnumbered

by the adults

who show up

to love them,

having to send some adults

to another room

to pray

so the room they're in

still feels like youth group.

I dream of marriages

where small group friends

see struggles

before you do

and offer so much support

that you don't despair

even in those times

where marriage

is really hard

because you're so supported

you're not alone.

Each Sunday

all summer

we're going to get

to see a different aspect

of what this looks like

and how God teaches us

to love and relate

to each other.

He's going to give us

another brush

as it were

in relationship

with one another

to paint

one more beautiful stroke

on the picture

of gospel community.

That picture

that Jesus started painting

when he painted you and me

into the picture

with his own blood.

A picture in fact

that will be perfected

as God lives with us

and we live with him

and each other forever, right?

There ain't no darkness

strong enough

that could tear you out

from my heart.

There ain't no strength

that's strong enough

that could tear

this love apart.

No, I won't

let you go.

Do you hear Jesus

saying that

to you this morning?

Will you say it

to someone else?

Let's pray.

Father,

teach us,

mold us,

change us

into the kind of

community

that you would have us

to be.

Overwhelm us

with the love of Jesus.

Give us a fresh glimpse

of your love for us

and your love

for others

in our family

that we might love

as you love.

We ask in Jesus' name.

Amen.

We welcome our children

and their parents

back in

to celebrate

the Lord's Supper

with us this morning.

As they come,

I want to remind you

of some really good news.

Someone

who knows you

completely

longs to be with you.

Someone who knows

the worst about you

chooses

to love you

and will never stop.

Jesus said this

to his disciples.

Jesus,

on the night

that he was betrayed,

took bread

and he broke it

and gave it

to his disciples

as I'm ministering

in his name.

Give this bread

to you.

He said,

take,

eat,

this is my body

broken for you.

Do this

in remembrance

of me.

In the same way,

after supper,

he took the cup

and said,

this cup is the new covenant

in my blood

shed for many

for the forgiveness

of sins.

Drink from it,

all of you.

Whenever you eat

this bread

and drink this cup,

you proclaim

his death,

his great demonstration

of his love

until he comes.

This is love.

Not that we loved God,

but that he loved us

and sent his son

as the atoning sacrifice

for our sins.

God demonstrates

his own love

in that while we were

yet sinners,

Christ died for us.

If you've never known

and tasted

and trusted love

like that,

you need to meet Jesus.

His love

is awesome

and is always

like that.

We'd love to tell you

more about it.

We'd encourage you

not to come to this table

this morning,

but to come and talk

with us about Jesus.

We'd love to talk

and pray with you

about him.

But if you've tasted

that love,

you're a part of

Christ's church

in any local body,

not just this one.

Come,

feast with us

and celebrate

the love

that will never

let us go,

that God gives

to us

with one another.

Let's pray.

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visit us online

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