When God's People Suffer: Grieving Through Suffering

And before he does, just by way of introduction, this word, Psalm 88, it's on page 597.

O Lord, the God who saves me, day and night I cry out before you.

May my prayer come before you, turn your ear to my cry.

For my soul is full of trouble, and my life draws near the grave.

I am counted among those who go down to the pit.

I am like a man without strength.

I am set apart from the dead, with the dead, like the slain who lie in the grave,

whom you remember no more, who are cut off from your care.

You have put me in the lowest pit, in the darkest depths.

Your wrath lies heavily upon me.

You have overwhelmed me with all your waves.

You have taken from me my closest friends, and have made me repulsive to them.

I am confined and cannot escape.

My eyes are dim with grief.

I call to you, O Lord, every day.

I spread out my hands to you.

Do you show your wonders to the dead?

Do those who are dead rise up and praise you?

Is your love declared in the grave, your faithfulness in destruction?

Are your wonders known in the place of darkness?

Or your righteous deeds in the land of oblivion?

But I cry to you for help, O Lord.

In the morning my prayers come before you.

Why, O Lord, do you reject me and hide your face from me?

From my youth I have been afflicted and close to death.

I have suffered your terrors and am in despair.

Your wrath has swept over me.

Your terrors have destroyed me.

All day long they surround me like a flood.

They have completely engulfed me.

You have taken my companions and loved ones from me.

The darkness is my closest friend.

It's miserable.

Well, it's a psalm that Job could have written himself.

It is very dark.

But we need to learn from these experiences in life.

So I'm going to ask if you'd turn please to Job.

Job 2 · chapter mention

Chapter 2.

It's on page 510.

There's some sheets and pens going round with notes if you would like to follow on.

As I say, we're going through the book of Job.

Today we're just really looking at chapter 3.

Next week we're going to be going from chapters 4 to 27.

So we're going to be taking some bigger chunks.

But this is a lament.

It's Job grieving as he remembers the loss of his family, his health and his wealth.

So let's pray and ask for God's help as we look at this section together.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Our Father God, we thank you for your word.

We thank you for the stories and the people that we meet.

Not just made up stories, but real people.

Real lives.

Real events.

Help us to learn from it.

But we pray that we would also meet their God through it.

And that as we seek to understand what it is to grieve when suffering comes.

That our focus and our minds would be turned upon a God who is the source of all compassion.

And all comfort.

Amen.

Amen.

The God who does not leave us.

But the God who is always with us.

So we pray for your help in Jesus' name.

Amen.

So Job chapter 2 verse 11 through to chapter 3 verse 26.

Job 2:11

When I was at college, I had a good friend called Stephen.

Stephen was married.

He had grown-up kids.

And most of his working life was always with people.

And while he was at college, he was voted in as the student president.

He was very mature.

He was wise.

He was a caring kind of guy.

He had experienced all kinds of different things through life.

So that he could be a help and a support to others.

He was understanding of people's situations.

Now soon after that, he ended up in hospital with cancer.

And I went to see him.

And during the time I was there, I was with him about an hour, I'd say, altogether.

He said absolutely nothing.

I walked into the ward.

And he just looked straight through me.

And for the entire time, he just looked blankly into that open ward.

I tried to talk to him.

There was no response.

I prayed with him.

I no doubt tried even to be humorous.

Looking back, I was trying to bring him out of his despair.

I was trying to give him hope.

I was trying to give reasons and answers.

But sometimes it's right just to grieve.

The writer of another wisdom book, it's called Ecclesiastes, says this.

There is a time for everything.

And a season for every activity under heaven.

A time to be born.

And a time to die.

A time to weep.

And a time to laugh.

A time to mourn.

And a time to dance.

A time to be silent.

And a time to speak.

You see, sometimes there is no room for joyful singing or for happy worship songs.

Sometimes there are no words of comfort or hope.

Romans 8 verse 28, which says,

Romans 8:28

All things work together for good for those who love God,

is not always the appropriate thing to say.

Sometimes we just need to weep and mourn.

Like Job in chapter 3, we just need to grieve before God.

Job, as we saw in chapters 1 and 2, has experienced enormous suffering.

And for reasons that we're not given and that we struggle with,

God had given Satan permission to inflict terrible suffering in his life.

Job loses his family, his grandchildren.

All his children are wiped out.

He loses all his wealth and his servants.

And he also loses his health.

Remarkably, though, Job responds with great faith.

Look at chapter 1 verse 20.

It says there that,

It's a remarkable response,

considering everything that he's gone through.

Now, although his faith proves genuine,

his faith is not without struggle.

And through his mourning and through his weeping,

he opens his heart to God.

He lets out how he feels and what he thinks before God.

And listening to Job in this chapter,

it helps us to see how we too should learn to grieve ourselves

and how at times we should maybe understand how others grieve in their suffering.

So the first thing is this,

the loneliness of suffering.

As we'll see,

Job had friends who came to support them.

And we can have friends who can support us in times of suffering.

But even though friends come,

there is still a terrible loneliness.

Look at chapter 2 verse 11.

We're introduced there to Job's three friends.

They're called Eliphaz,

Bildad,

and Zophar.

They heard about all the troubles that had come upon him.

And they set out from their homes and met together by agreement

to go and sympathize with him

and to comfort him.

It's what we would expect from any of our friends.

And it's the kind of things we would hopefully do for our friends.

Verse 12.

When they saw Job from a distance,

they could hardly recognize him.

They began to weep aloud,

and they tore their robes,

and they sprinkled dust on their heads.

Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days

and for seven nights.

No one said a word to him

because they saw how great his suffering was.

You know, traditionally,

funerals lasted for seven days in those days.

It shows how bad Job's suffering was.

They were treating him as if he were dead.

After all, he had lost all his family.

He had lost his children, his grandchildren.

He had lost his health,

and he had lost all his possessions.

Completely wiped out.

But as much as they desire to comfort

and they plan that we're going to go and sympathize with him,

they're helpless.

They could do nothing,

and they could say nothing.

All they actually bring into the situation is further despair.

They're overwhelmed with the impact of the suffering.

They can't comprehend what has happened to this man.

Now, if that's how his friends feel,

how do you think Job feels?

You see, they witness the suffering,

but it's Job who experiences the suffering.

So when friends come,

Job still suffers alone.

It's his suffering.

It's a pain that they can't bear or lessen.

It's a hurt that they can't release or repair.

So Job must suffer alone.

Now, I think it's important that we understand that.

As much as we want to help and to support

and to bring comfort and care to people,

those who suffer,

though they're surrounded with family and with friends,

there's a sense in which they suffer alone.

Everybody else is a witness to the suffering,

but they are the ones who experience the suffering.

And that might be your story.

Maybe you've lost a loved one.

Maybe you have to deal with disappointment.

Perhaps you struggle with health.

Maybe you've experienced a relationship breakdown.

And people do comfort you.

And while we appreciate their prayers and their words,

which are invaluable at those times,

deep inside,

we still feel terribly alone.

Because after all, it's your suffering.

It's your heartache.

And it's your pain.

So there's a loneliness in suffering.

And it's from this dark place of loneliness

that Job begins to voice his cries towards God.

And as we read through chapter 3,

it's not easy listening.

It's like Psalm 88.

It's raw.

And it reflects the agony and the pain that he's suffering.

But let's not be mistaken.

This is not a lack of faith.

This is not Job turning away from God.

This is real faith

in the midst of his darkness.

Look at how Job responds

as we try to contemplate the suffering that he's in.

First of all, Job starts by wishing

that he was never born,

that he never existed.

Look at verse 3.

May the day of my birth perish,

and the night it was said,

a boy is born.

That night may it turn to darkness.

May God above not care about it.

May no light shine upon it.

May darkness and deep shadow claim it once more.

May a cloud settle over it.

May blackness overwhelm its light.

That night may thick darkness seize it.

May it not be included among the days of the year,

nor be entered in any of the months.

Erase my birthday, he says.

Scratch it out with a big marker.

Better still, wind back the clock

and make sure that my birth never even happens.

Verse 7.

May that night be barren.

May no shout of joy be heard in it.

May there never have been any balloons or flowers

or cards of congratulations.

Verse 8.

May those who curse days curse that day.

Those who are ready to rouse Leviathan.

Leviathan there is a symbol of one

who brings disorder and destruction.

May its morning stars become dark.

May it wait for daylight in vain

and not see the first rays of dawn.

For it did not shut the doors on the womb on me

to hide trouble from my eyes.

But as the grieving intensifies

and it gets deeper and darker,

Job not only wishes that his birth is cursed,

Job actually wishes that he were dead.

Look at verse 11.

Why did I not perish at birth

and die as I came from the womb?

Why were there knees to receive me

and breasts that I might be nursed?

For now I would be lying down in peace.

I would be asleep and at rest.

Not only does Job long to die,

he wishes that his life never even started.

Verse 16.

Why was I not hidden in the ground

like a stillborn child,

like an infant who never saw the light of day?

There the wicked cease from their turmoil

and there the weary are at rest.

Captives also enjoy their ease.

They no longer hear the slave driver shout.

The small and the great are there

and the slave is freed from his master.

You see, Job longs to be released from his pain.

He longs to end his days of emotional

and physical agony

and die

and be at rest

so it's no more.

In fact, the longer Job has to live

with this suffering,

the more pointless life becomes.

Look at verse 20.

Why is light given to those in misery?

Why is life given to the bitter of soul?

To those who long for their death?

That does not come.

For those who search for it

more than they do hidden treasure.

Who are filled with gladness

and rejoice when they reach the grave.

Why is life given to a man

whose way is hidden,

whom God is hedged in?

You see, to Job,

the only reason he can see for living

is to experience heartache and sadness.

God, it seems to him,

has boxed or hedged Job in

to a life of inescapable suffering.

Verse 24.

For sighing comes to me instead of food.

My groans pour out like water.

What I feared has come upon me.

What I dreaded has happened to me.

I have no peace,

no quietness.

I have no rest,

but only turmoil.

It's uncomfortable reading, isn't it?

Condescendingly, we look on and we say,

well, I'm sure he doesn't really mean it.

Or worse, if we were there,

we might want to interrupt him.

We could imagine Job sitting in a prayer meeting

and he starts crying out to God

and we put a hand on his shoulder

and we say,

Job, don't say that.

It's not as bad as what it seems.

But the reality is,

he does mean it.

Life for Job is as bad as what this is.

Every time he remembers his children

and his grandchildren

that were destroyed in that tornado,

he wishes that he was never born.

Every time he thinks about his servants

and his wealth being completely wiped out,

he longs that he had died along with them.

And every time he feels

the excruciating pain of his illness,

every dart and every arrow

that goes through his life,

he just sees it as wasteless,

pointless,

and useless.

You know, reading through this chapter,

I couldn't help think

that Job is perhaps contemplating suicide.

Or if it existed back then

that he would be going down

to visit his local doctor

to ask the question about euthanasia.

Look at verse 21.

Those who long for death

that does not come,

who search for it

more than for hidden treasure.

I remember listening to a story

of a very godly man.

We know him well as a family

and as a pastor of a church.

He loved Jesus

and he lived to serve Jesus.

And in his life,

he was struck down

with something that brought

unbearable physical pain

to his life.

And as he shared his story with us,

he told us that how one day

he sat on his bed

with an open bottle of tablets

ready to end his life

and leave his wife

and his children behind.

Like Job in his suffering,

he wished he had never been born.

He longed to die

and he thought life

as wasteful.

You see,

that's how God,

how people who love God

feel at times.

This is the story

of a man who was blameless,

who loved God

and who hated evil.

And so we should not

criticise

or we should never

condemn somebody

for feeling like that.

In hard times,

it's a real experience.

And maybe you felt like that

at times.

For others,

your pain is maybe

expressed differently.

Maybe it's a desire

just to hide away,

to stay indoors

and not meet with anybody.

Maybe you felt

that all your energy is gone

and you just want

to stay in your bed

and you actually haven't got

the physical strength

to get out of bed

and get dressed.

just because we are Christians,

it doesn't mean

that we are immune

from the heartache

of suffering

and the cry of pains

that it brings.

Now, before we move on,

I want us just

to take a little tangent

to the left here

and just ask this question

about euthanasia.

We said here that

in chapter 3,

I think Job is considering

ending his life.

Sometimes it's called

assisted suicide.

suicide.

And if you've been

watching the news recently,

you will see that

it's come up again

in the UK.

A man who is suffering terribly

and he wants to end his life.

And euthanasia is this,

I have it up on the screen,

it's about the rights

of individuals

to choose for themselves

the quality of life

they want

and when they no longer

enjoy that quality of life

to end it.

That's basically

what euthanasia is.

Now, as a Christian,

as myself,

who loves God

and who submits

to God's word,

the Bible,

I need to ask myself,

is that right?

Is euthanasia

an option

for the Christian today?

Well, the short answer

is no.

Let me explain.

I don't think

we could find a person

who suffered

as much in life

than Job.

I don't think

we've come across

anybody who's

contemplated ending

his life as much

as Job

as expressed

in these chapters here.

But yet,

Job never did

end his life.

Why?

Well, Job understood

life from God's perspective.

You see,

it's not about

the quality of life,

it's about

the value

of a life.

Not about

the quality of life,

but the value

of life.

Let me just show you

four things

about life

from God's perspective

that we see

through Job.

I have them all

up on the screen.

You can just listen.

First,

Job understood

that God

is the creator

of all of life.

So he says,

remember that

you moulded me

like clay.

Did you not

clothe me

with skin

and flesh

and knit me

together with

bones and sinews?

You see,

it's a reference

back to Genesis 1

that God

created us

in his image.

Male and female,

he created us.

We were designed

to live

in relationship

with each other

and with God.

God is our creator

and life

is valuable.

Second,

Job understood

that God

is the sustainer

of all life.

He says this,

in his hand

is the life

of every creature

and the breath

of all mankind.

If it were

his intention

and he withdrew

his spirit

and breath,

all mankind

would perish together

and man

would return

to dust.

So our life,

whatever circumstance

we are in,

is in

the hand

of God.

He is the sustainer

of life.

And third,

Job understood

that God

is the planner

of his life.

He understood

that from the beginning

of his life

to the very end

of it.

God was in charge

of it.

He plans it.

And so he says

at the very end

of this book,

I know that you

can do all things

and that no plan

of yours

can be frustrated.

life is completely

in the hands

and the plans

and the ways

of God.

And fourth,

as we saw

last week,

Job understood

that God alone

is the one

who can take life.

The Lord gave

and the Lord

has taken away.

So you see,

despite all the suffering,

and we see it here,

the depths of the darkness

and the struggles

that Job is going through,

through it all,

he sees that

life is a gift

from God

and it's all

controlled by God.

all of life

is precious

and valuable

to God.

Even a life

that is suffering

to the extent

that it is,

is precious

and valuable

to God.

And so we do not

have a right

to end

our life.

And I think

that's why Job,

in all his suffering,

never did.

Well, let's get back

into Job

a little bit more.

We've looked at

the loneliness

of suffering,

the cry of suffering.

But this loneliness,

yes, it leads

to a cry,

but there's also

a hope

within this suffering.

Job's grieving

is very deep,

it's very dark,

but it is not

detached.

And while he is

still struggling

with God

and he's crying

out to God,

it's a cry

that does go

out to God.

Look at verse 11.

He has these questions

that repeat,

why did I not

perish at birth?

Verse 12,

why were there

needs to receive me?

Verse 20,

why is light

given to those

in misery?

Verse 23,

why is life

given to a man

whose way

is hidden?

All these questions

there's this

inner conflict

within Job's life.

He's questioning

God with all

the wise,

but he's still

turning to God.

Yes,

he's angry

with God

and we see

the anger

intensify

as we read

through the book,

but he's still

calling out

to God.

God does not

answer

from those

questions.

God does

not respond

to Job,

not yet,

he does

eventually,

but for Job

this is where

his journey

must start.

And if there

is anybody

who's going

to understand

Job in all

his suffering,

it is God

who also

suffered for him.

You see,

in faith,

Job looks

beyond himself

to a God

as we read

at the beginning

this morning,

the God

who is the

source of

all comfort

and all

compassion,

and this is

who he's

looking to.

And we know

that God

did show

his compassion

and his

comfort.

Job is

suffering alone,

but we

remember

Jesus

who went

to the

cross

alone.

Jesus

would suffer

and die

alone.

And on

the cross,

Jesus would

cry out

in despair.

Do you

remember those

words?

My God,

my God,

why have

you forsaken

me?

Those words

are a quote

from Psalm

22.

Let me

just read

to you

the first

couple of

verses of

that Psalm,

Psalm 22,

that Jesus

cried out

from the

cross.

And listen

to the

depth of

Christ's

grieving.

He says,

My God,

my God,

why have

you forsaken

me?

Why are

you so

far from

saving me,

so far

from the

words of

my groaning?

Oh,

my God,

I cry

out by

day,

but you

do not

answer.

By night

and I'm

not

silent.

This is

Job's

God.

This is

God who

understands

what it

is to

suffer

alone,

to cry

out,

and to

have no

response.

And it

introduces

us to

this God

who does

understand,

Christ who

was forsaken

for us so

that we

would never

be forsaken

by him.

That Christ

who suffered

alone on the

cross did

so that we

would never

have to

suffer alone.

And it's

only here as

we come to

terms with

this, as

we cry

out to

God,

that we

do find

one who

does know,

a God

who does

care,

a God

who understands,

a God

who has

been there,

and one

who gives

hope in

the midst

events.

But while

the hope

does come,

let's

remember it's

only through

grieving in

the darkness

that we

can begin

to see the

light of

hope come

shining through.

We need

to learn

to grieve

like Job

did in

our days

of struggle

and our

days of

suffering.

It's not

sinful,

it's not

wrong,

it's

right to

cry out to

our God

who understands

and who

knows what

it is to

suffer alone.

Let's

pray.

As we

pray, let

me just

read these

words of

comfort.

that speak

about our

God

towards his

people.

Shout for

joy, O

heavens,

rejoice, O

earth,

burst into

song, O

mountains,

for the

Lord comforts

his people

and will

have compassion

on his

afflicted

on his

and

his people

said,

the Lord

has forsaken

me,

the Lord

has forgotten

me.

The Lord

answers,

can a

mother forget

the baby

at her

breast

and have

no compassion

on the

child she

has born?

Though she

may forget,

I will

not forget

you.

See, I

have engraved

you on the

palms of

my hands.

Your walls

are ever

before me.

Our

Father God,

as we

remember the

Lord Jesus

who stretched

out his

arms on

the cross,

who suffered

alone,

who was

forsaken

for us,

as we

picture those

nails in

his hands,

the scars

in his

hands,

they remind

us that

our names

are written

in the palm

of his

hand,

that we

will never

be forgotten.

God

will be

our

comfort

and our

compassion

in our

days of

struggle

and in

our days

of suffering.

He will

not leave

us.

He will

not abandon

us

because Christ

was abandoned

for us so

that we

would never

have to

suffer alone.

We thank

you for who

you are

and the

great God

that you

are.

In

Jesus'

name,

Amen.

We

are

there

and

there

are

you