Ephesians 6: Children & Parents in the Church

Ephesians chapter 6 verses 1 to 4, children and parents.

Ephesians 6:1–4

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise,

that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.

Fathers, do not exasperate your children.

Instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Thank you very much.

Thanks, Ralph.

Sorry, I'll just get myself adjusted here.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay, good morning, everyone.

Today, I want us to look at the topic of, well, in particular children, but also parents in the church.

And many of us this morning fall into the category of being a parent, and so I want to speak to you especially.

And some of us fall into the category of children.

I want to speak to you especially as well.

Some are children here legally, because, well, you're under 18, so you're a child.

And some are here as children practically.

So, okay, you've gotten over 18, but mom and dad are still paying most of the bills.

And you haven't quite reached full independence yet, have you?

Okay, so whether you're a legal child or a functional child, listen up this morning.

Now, if you're not a child or a parent, I know what you're already thinking.

Well, please don't think that you have a sermon-free Sunday ahead where the old lights can switch off and you can start staring at the ceiling.

Because I want us all to see, and I hope this is what we see, that discussions around children and parents, what we're going to look at this morning,

even though we're talking about children and parents in a physical family, we're doing so in the context of another family.

And the context of that other family is the church, a spiritual family, which we are all part of,

regardless of our status as a parent or a child or anything like that.

So this sermon is for all of us as the church, as God's people.

But let's come back to parents and children.

Why are you here with family this morning?

Have you ever sat down as a family and had that conversation?

Why do we go to church?

For parents, it might be as simple as this, and this is just one option.

You come to church.

Your children are going to come to church.

You see value in the church providing a stabilizing influence on your child's life,

and that's going to equip them into the future and somehow help them in the long term to have a successful and a happy and a well-adjusted life.

So you're here as parents.

Your children are going to come, and you see benefit to that.

And if you're here as a child, well, then, you know, it's very possible that you're only here because it's expected.

Maybe you're just here out of habit.

It's grand, but really it's a bit samey each week.

I've recounted the bricks behind the preacher's head a hundred times, and, you know, they haven't changed in all that time.

It's not something I look forward to.

You know, none of my friends are here.

It's just a bit of a, I don't know.

I'm sure I'm here anyway.

Now, don't misunderstand me when I say that about parents and motivation and children and motivation.

It's great, and it's good that you are here this morning for whatever reason.

There is genuinely no better place to be on a Sunday than gathering here as a church that is being built by Jesus.

But let's consider what it means to be here as children in the church,

and let us consider what it means to be here as parents in the church.

Is it possible that we can shape our understanding and motivation this morning by using the Word of God,

that sharp sword that divides to the very heart of the issue,

so that we can take the Word of God and take children and parents and bring the Word to bear on it and learn from the Bible?

Then, as we come as a child or as we come as a parent, we're coming together, together in God's community,

not just out of habit or expectation or compulsion,

but we will want to come because of the irresistible call of God on our lives,

to be in fellowship with Him and to be in fellowship with other believers.

And then that burden and guilt that comes from those faulty ideas of church attendance

can be replaced by the big picture of God's kingdom.

And, you know, that's where I want to be, and I hope it's where you want to be this morning as well.

The first thing is that I think our vision is really quite dull.

For many reasons, you know, we like verses in the Bible like Ephesians chapter 6, verses 1 to 4,

Ephesians 6:1–4

and we are going to focus on these verses this morning.

The verses, as you look at them in your Bible, they're short, direct.

You know, here are some things for children.

We move on.

Verse 4, here are some things for fathers.

Mr. Preacher, we say, just give me a few stories to help me understand.

Give me a few extra applications to think about.

So I read these verses, help me understand, and give me a few stories, a few applications,

and maybe even encourage me to practice them this week.

And that's often how we come to our Bibles and maybe come on a Sunday.

We want the Bible to function like a kind of a look-up manual for life.

So it kind of goes like this.

Well, career, career.

I should look at my Bible.

So we try and find some verses on work, and that's it.

We dip in and find those verses about work.

And we want to tune up our marriage.

You know, we feel that tension.

And, well, the Bible, it's a marriage manual.

You know, I can find some verses.

Actually, if I look back at the end of chapter 5,

wives and husbands, some good verses, maybe they'll come in handy someday.

I must remember that, Ephesians 5, marriage.

Children and how to raise them.

Well, there are verses for that, aren't they?

We have some in front of us.

But instead of doing that, if we take the time, like we're doing now,

and we read the Bible as it is,

as the Word of God to us as believers,

I think we quickly find out that it's not really a parenting manual after all.

It's not really functioning as a marriage manual after all.

You see the Bible.

The Bible, if it's a manual at all,

it's a manual on how to know God.

That's what the Bible is primarily.

So as we open it up and look for verses about children,

if we want to think about children and parenting,

I want us to remember two things.

And the first thing is that,

actually there aren't that many verses directly about children at all.

In the New Testament letters,

there are just two passages, I think,

and I'm open to correction,

that are directed to children.

So there's the one that we've read in Ephesians,

these couple of verses here, in Ephesians chapter 6,

Ephesians 6 · chapter mention

and there's nearly identical words in Colossians chapter 3,

Colossians 3 · chapter mention

also written by the Apostle Paul,

so the same author.

And he has similar things to say in both places.

So the Bible has very little,

in terms of direct commands,

about living as Christian children.

So the Bible has very little direct commands,

directed to Christian children.

There's maybe less than five in total in the New Testament.

And the second thing I want us to notice,

as we go about trying to look at children and parenting the Bible,

is that if we take that approach of just looking at those verses,

we're going to really miss what God is saying to children,

if we just focus on those verses.

In our eagerness to want to make life simple and easy,

we just miss the point.

You see, the most amazing thing about Ephesians chapter 6,

Ephesians 6 · chapter mention

and these verses 1 to 4,

is the context in which Paul is addressing children.

You see, Paul's letter is written to believers in the church,

and we see that right from the beginning.

Ephesians chapter 1 and verse 1.

Ephesians 1 · chapter mention

If you turn back to the start of Ephesians,

you'll see that.

Paul is very good at introducing himself,

Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God,

to the saints in Ephesus,

the faithful in Christ Jesus.

Saints, or holy ones,

or those that have been called out of darkness

and called into the light.

That's who Paul is writing to.

So when Paul turns then,

if we get to chapter 6 and verse 1,

and he says,

children,

obey your parents in the Lord,

for this is right,

the children that he's speaking to here

are part of that group.

From chapter 1 and verse 1,

it's the same group.

It's the saints in Ephesus.

Believers.

Children are part of the church.

Children are there as believers,

as those who have been born again,

as those that are able to sit in the congregation

and have a letter from the apostle Paul

read out to them,

a letter that applies to them

from chapter 1, verse 1,

all the way through to chapter 6 and verse 24.

And then when we hit 6, 1,

and he speaks to children,

it's in that big context.

It's not that everything else that's gone before

and everything else that goes after

doesn't apply to children in the church.

Not at all.

All of it applies.

You see, as I said,

I think our hearts are quite dull at times,

and our vision is quite dull.

We want this book to function like a rule book,

to sort our lives out.

That's our tendency, isn't it,

in our hearts.

We like the law.

We like the rules

that we can measure ourselves again.

And the Lord instead offers us

this amazing book,

a book that's full of poetry,

a book that's full of history

and prophecy, music,

proverbs,

and instruction,

so that we can know God

in ways that we would never know Him

if it was just a manual.

Imagine if it was just a book

of things to do.

Would we know the Lord?

No, but it's the way

all those passages interact

and the richness

and the depth

of what God has given us.

So let's expand some of our horizons

this morning

and consider children

by seeing what the church is.

And there's a number of things

I just want to look at from Ephesians.

Believing children

are included in God's new people.

There's lots of images

to describe the church,

and there's no one image

that captures everything.

But one of the images

that Paul uses

to help us understand the church

is that of

a new people of God

or a new person of God.

He tells us that those

who were previously

outside of God's plan,

they are the Gentiles,

those who were uncircumcised.

And to be a Gentile

basically meant

that you weren't a Jew.

So there was one national group

called the Jews

who were circumcised.

And in every other nation

in the world,

I assume all of us here,

and nations all over the world,

all of those other people

were considered Gentiles.

And they were, in a sense,

outside of God's plan,

or it looked like

they were outside of God's plan.

But those who were

previously outside,

because of the coming of Jesus,

have been included

in God's people.

And that means

some radical changes

for the people of God

in the New Testament.

And we see that

in chapter 2.

So if you could turn

to chapter 2

in your Bibles,

I think it'll be a help.

Chapter 2,

and reading

verse 11.

Therefore,

remember that formally,

you who were Gentiles

by birth

and called uncircumcised

by those who call themselves

a circumcision,

that done in the body

by the hands of men,

remember that that time

you were separate from Israel,

separate from Christ,

excluded from citizenship

in Israel,

and foreigners

to the covenants

of the promise

without hope

and without God

in the world.

And this is the big but.

But now,

in Christ Jesus,

you who once far away

have been brought near

through the blood of Christ.

For he himself

is our peace

who has made

the two one.

You see that?

Who has made the two one

and destroyed the barrier,

the dividing line

of,

dividing wall

of hostility

by abolishing

in his flesh

the law

with its commandments

and regulations.

And this is the key bit.

His purpose

was to create himself

one new man

out of the two,

thus making peace,

and in this one body

to reconcile both of them

to God

through the cross

by which he put to death

their hostility.

So you see,

we have Jews

who believed in Jesus

and we have Gentiles

who believed in Jesus.

And they've come together

and they are God's new one man

or God's new people.

And we need to remember that

so when we come to Ephesians

Ephesians 6:1

chapter 6 verse 1

and we read

children,

obey your parents

and the Lord

for this is right,

that Paul is writing

to believe in children.

And Paul sees children

in the church

as part of this new man.

It is a new humanity

that's made up

of young and old

who have been reconciled

together

regardless of age

if they believe

through Jesus' death.

So as we gather,

as we gather as adults,

as we gather as children,

as children,

we're gathering

as God's new people.

You see,

Jesus in his death

has torn down

all kinds of barriers.

We see here

that he's torn down

barriers between

the Jews

and the Gentiles,

those who are on the inside

and those who are

on the outside.

Jesus' death

tears down barriers

between men and women,

between races,

between gender,

between status

and community.

Tears down barriers,

I believe,

of age as well

between an adult

and a child.

This is not a community

that you were born

physically into.

You don't inherit traits.

We don't inherit

the name Christian

because of our parents.

You know,

we named our son,

our eldest son,

Christopher.

And that means

one who carries

Christ in his heart.

So, you know,

that sounds great.

But in naming him

Christopher,

it didn't make him

carry Christ in his heart.

You understand that.

It doesn't,

just because we gave him

the name,

doesn't mean that

changed him fundamentally.

But it is our hope

for our son

that as he grows

and as he learns

he puts his trust

in Jesus

so his name

would become true

eventually

that he would be

one who carries Christ.

But it doesn't

function like that.

We don't bequeath

our belief

to our children.

No,

this is a community,

the church,

that you are born

spiritually into.

The new people of God

means that children

are here as believers

in their own right.

Children are here

as believers

on the same footing

as adults

because of their trust

in Jesus.

The second thing

we want to see

from Ephesians

is that of

the growing

in the body of Christ.

Children are part

of the body of Christ.

Our connection

to Christ

is such that Paul

can talk about

us being the body

of Christ

and we need to be

careful here

in our heads

the kind of image

we have.

It doesn't mean

that Christ needs us

in order in some way

to be complete

that apart from his body

Christ is somehow

less than God.

If it wasn't for us

well then Christ

would be going around

like a disembodied head

with no limbs

and no torso.

Rather to say

that we are his body

is that we are

united by faith

to Jesus

and we become

like Jesus.

And another way

that we are his body

is the idea

of growing together.

So we are united

to Christ

we are like Christ

and therefore

are his body.

But I think

one of the most

helpful things

again an image

of the church

is that we are

growing together

children and adults

alike.

There is one body

and we see that

in Ephesians

Ephesians 4 · chapter mention

chapter 4

and we are going

to move a bit

around Ephesians

so it is good

if you can keep

your Bibles open.

Ephesians chapter 4

Ephesians 4 · chapter mention

you see there

at the start

of chapter 4

verse 4

there is one body

and one spirit.

And as you go

down through those

verses Paul

goes on to speak

of the gifts

that God has given

to the church

so that if we

come down

let's see

to Ephesians

Ephesians 4:12

chapter 4

verse 12

and he talks

about the gifts.

The gifts are given

to prepare God's people

for works of service

so that the body

of Christ

may be built up

until we all

reach unity

in the faith

and in the knowledge

of the Son of God

and become mature

attaining to the

whole measure

of the fullness

of Christ.

And down to

verse 15

chapter 4

instead

speaking the truth

in love

we will in all things

grow up into him

who is the head

that is Christ

and from him

the whole body

joined and held together

by every supporting

ligament

grows

and builds itself

up in love

so as each

part

does

its

work.

It's a beautiful

picture of the church

as a living organism

full of life

as it grows

towards maturity.

Each member

of the body

has an important

part in supporting

the others.

Children

that love Jesus

I don't know if you've

thought about this

children that love Jesus

and know Jesus

have the spirit

of Christ

living in them

as much as

you as an adult

as the spirit

of Christ

which means

that they display

the fruit

of the spirit

and I believe

have gifts

from the spirit

gifts that are

given by the Holy

Spirit to children

so they can help

build the body

they are part of

this body building

work

so we need to

consider how

children can serve

and minister

in this church

in the church

and in this church

in particular

and that's

I don't have time

to expound that

but it's a thought

I want us to

take away this

morning and

consider further

how can we

actively include

our children

in this body

work

because these

verses

it's important

now

finally

in this part

believing children

need to keep

coming back

to the gospel

message

believing children

and adults

you see

the reason why

we're part of the

body

and the reason

why we're

growing into

God's new people

is because we

believe the same

message

the same

unique message

of Jesus

Christ

so our growth

together as the

body of Christ

into the people

of God

is only because

we have been

made alive

in Christ

in the first

place

children

you are not

saved

and I have to

reinforce this

again

you are not

saved by your

parents faith

children

you are not

saved by how

well you obey

them in the

home

children

you are not

saved by your

ability not

to fight with

your brother

and sister

okay

they are not

the things

that save

you

children

you come

into the

family of

God

and the

body of

Christ

because of

grace

because of

grace

undeserved

love that's

been shown

to you

by your

heavenly

father

I want to

read a

slightly longer

section

Ephesians

Ephesians 2 · chapter mention

chapter 2

from verse 1

if you'd like

to turn there

just the 10

verses there

and just

for us to

take in the

sweep of

what it

means to

be born

again

it's an

old fashioned

phrase in

some ways

and one that

drops out of

usage sometimes

in Christian

circles

but it's a

good one

to be born

again for

those that

know the

reality of

what it is

to be alive

in Christ

I want you

this morning

adult and

child alike

to be reminded

of these

words to

live again

in the

truth that

you have

been shown

and if

these words

do not

resonate with

your heart

then I

think you

need to

ask am

I still

dead in

my own

sins

now this

is serious

we're either

alive or

we're dead

this morning

to these

words

so I

ask that

as the

word of

God

peels

back the

layers of

your life

ask yourself

do these

words of

scripture

do they

do they

do they

do they

penetrate

and rest

in my

heart

or do

they cause

a stabbing

of my

conscience

Ephesians

Ephesians 2 · chapter mention

chapter 2

and verse

1

as for

you

you were

dead in

your

transgressions

and sins

in which

you used

to live

when you

followed the

ways of

this world

and of

the ruler

of the

kingdom

of the

air

the spirit

who is

now at

work

in those

who are

disobedient

all of

us also

lived among

them at

one time

gratifying

the cravings

of our

sinful

nature

and following

its desires

and thoughts

like the

rest we

were by

nature

objects

of wrath

but

because of

his great

love for

us

God who

is rich

in mercy

made us

alive with

Christ

even when

we were

dead in

transgressions

it is by

grace you

have been

saved

and God

raised us

up with

Christ

and seated

us with

him in

the heavenly

realms

in Christ

Jesus

in order

that in

the coming

ages

he might

show the

incomparable

riches of

his grace

expressed in

his kindness

to us

in Christ

Jesus

for it

is by

grace you

have been

saved

through faith

and it's

not from

yourselves

it is the

gift of

God

not by

works

so that

no one

can boast

for we

were God's

workmanship

created in

Christ Jesus

to do

good works

which God

prepared

in advance

for us

to do

finally

I want us

to come

back to

Ephesians

Ephesians 6 · chapter mention

chapter 6

it might

seem like a

big detour

but I

think it's

absolutely

critical

if we're

going to

look at

verses

like the

ones in

Ephesians

Ephesians 6 · chapter mention

chapter 6

that we

look at

that

those

ideas

of the

church

and what

it means

firstly

I want

to come

back again

to those

that don't

consider

themselves

children

or don't

consider

themselves

parents

or think

they're past

that stage

please

listen

I think

one

application

one thing

to take

on board

is that

you have

a role

to play

you have

a role

to play

as part

of the

new

people

of God

to be

a

spiritual

parent

to others

and I hope

you see

that being

part of

the community

of God

being a

parent

and being

a child

and those

things are

secondary

we have

a primary

role

and we

can consider

ourselves

as spiritual

parents

to others

and I

believe

especially

you can

be a

spiritual

parent

to

children

in the

church

whether

that's

in direct

service

of something

like

creche

or Sunday

school

like what's

happening

outside

now

or just

by being

here each

Sunday

and offering

a kind

word of

encouragement

to our

children

to our

kids

in the

church

I hope

that you

see from

Ephesians

that your

role in

the body

in the

family

of God

absolutely

matters

okay

so as we

look now

just the

children and

parents in

particular

don't

don't think

it's not

for me

it is

all of it

is in

that

context

I

trust

it's

plain

and as

we come

to chapter

six and

verse one

and read

children

obey your

parents in

the Lord

for this

is right

that Paul

is speaking

directly to

children in

the church

body

he expects

them to be

there

he expects

the children

to be in

church in

Ephesus

hearing this

letter read

out

and these

children are

believers

and these

children are

part of the

church

in their

own right

all of

this

sections

about

section

about

relationships

so starting

from the

middle of

chapter five

wives and

husbands

children and

parents

slaves and

masters

all of this

section is

about relationships

within and

transform because

of the church

that's the

primary context

so yes

as I've said

Christ has

made us all

one

the new

people of

God

his body

the church

but that

doesn't mean

that the

structures

outside the

church

have somehow

disbanded

and there's

no longer

children or

parents

and that all

are left

are identical

Lego versions

of people

in the church

we're all

the same

that's not

right

no

husbands and

wives are

still husbands

and wives

in the church

children and

parents are

still children

and parents

in the church

and slaves

and masters

or I guess

more applicable

to most of us

the idea of

employers and

employees

are still

employers and

employees in

the church

and you know

are still slaves

and masters

in the church

so I want to

see that Paul

is addressing

children and

parents as

children and

parents within

the context of

this body

the church

community

so Paul

can say

then in

chapter 6

and verse 1

children obey

your parents

in the Lord

you see

obedience is to

be powered

in children

that know

Jesus

not by sheer

will

but they're

to have the

help of the

Holy Spirit

because they

know Jesus

themselves

because these

children have

been born again

they can obey

their parents

now in the

Lord

children

do you know

Jesus as

your Lord

then you

should obey

your parents

in the Lord

for this

is right

and that phrase

at the end

I think it gives

us a sense

that it's

obvious

it's obvious

it's right

the world

over

even apart

from the Bible

even if you

didn't have

the Bible

even if you

didn't know

Jesus

we simply

know that

being part

of this

creation

part of

this world

that it

is right

and proper

to obey

our parents

but now

now you

can do it

as a believer

in the life

of the church

as children

and parents

that are

growing together

in the body

do you see

that

your obedience

to your parents

is transformed

you grow

together

in the same

body

and the joy

of that

is someday

that you're

going to

stand

maybe near

your parents

before the

Lord

and at

that point

your identity

is not going

to be as

children and

parents

but it's

going to

be as

brothers

and sisters

in Christ

isn't that

amazing

and I think

of that

as parents

you know

we stand

with our

children

and they're

our children

but imagine

standing with

them that

day

and there are

brothers or

fellow brothers

and sisters

in Christ

part of the

body that

have grown up

in the body

of Christ

the new

people of

God

that's the

kind of

vision that

we need to

keep in our

minds

now children

you might ask

this question

this may be

more practical

how long

do I have

to obey

for

what are

the limits

well I think

that's something

that's going

to depend

on culture

and context

in Ireland

18

21

legally it's

18

so when you're

18

parents can

kick you out

your parents

are legally

responsible for

you and you

live under

their rule

at least

until 18

and even

after that

time as I

said you

may remain

dependent on

your parents

so as you

go through

college

or maybe

you're just

trying to

start to

find your

feet after

school and

work and

you're still

living at

home things

like that

so it's

open and

I think you

need wisdom

as to how

you obey

and particularly

after 18

but and this

is partly

directed towards

parents there

should be an

increasing sense

of freedom

as you grow

up okay

parents we need

to be aware

of that

they're not

for under

14 okay

but the

basic call

on your

life as a

believer in

the church as

a child who

believes towards

your parents

is to obey

them okay

I'm not going to

fudge that or

ignore that that's

that's what the

word says to you

this morning

but you are

equal with your

parents in

Christ and you

are equal in

the church yet

God in his

wisdom has

your parents

in a role

of authority

that provides

protection

provides comfort

and provides

nurture for

you that is

why Paul also

says that you're

to honor your

parents and

that is something

that stretches

beyond 18

there's I don't

think there's an

end in sight

there in doing

so he says that

it will go well

with you and

you may enjoy

long life on

the earth and

there's a there's

a general promise

there and I

think an indication

that it's right

for children to

honor their

parents for a

long time and

that that has a

benefit to those

children to those

parents and I

believe society as

a whole one of

the signs of the

end times Paul

says is that

children will

reject their

parents and not

be under their

authority and

that's a sign of

things collapsing

and being wrong

so I think there

is a benefit to

children to

parents and to

society as a

whole to see

children honor

their parents

throughout their

lives

now to

parents

first for

children

I'm off the

hook now

you can relax

to parents and

especially fathers

now it does say

fathers but I

don't think it

excludes mothers

there's some

argument that the

word fathers here

functions similarly

to brothers in

the Bible

sometimes you see

brothers and

actually means

brothers and

sisters so this

is this I think

can be more

generally addressed

to parents but

especially fathers

and I think

that's fair

firstly what it

doesn't say it

doesn't say that

you are to assert

your authority over

your children and

make sure that they

obey you I've

looked I can't

find it in these

verses the command

is to children to

obey not fathers

to make them and

this is the same

idea throughout this

section for wives

and husbands and

for slaves and

masters those that

are in the position

and I use this

word carefully and

don't misunderstand

me those in the

position of submission

to good authority

are commanded to

live under that

authority but

husbands are not

commanded to lord it

over their wives

parents are not

told to rule over

their children and

masters are not

told to dominate

their slaves it's

quite the opposite

in all three cases

the exercise of

authority is to

serve and to love

and to care and to

nurture there's no

sense in any of

this wives and

husbands children

and parents slaves

and masters of

of domination and

forcing your will

upon another so

fathers what does

it say if that's

not what it's not

what it doesn't say

what does it say

well I think

possibly the wisest

few words that

could be written on

this subject fathers

do not exasperate

your children do

not exasperate do

not embitter your

children I hope you

have a sense of what

that means in

exasperation and

bitter in all your

dealings with them

when they push you

right to the edge to

anger when they

disappoint you when

they when they hurt

you and when when

things flare up you're

not to respond with

bitterness and

impatience you're not

to make their hearts

hard are your

children displaying a

hard heart that

that could be down to

you in which case

you're failing to

heed the word of

God you're failing to

heed the wisdom that

is here you want to

discipline your

children and that is

good and it's loving

to care for your

children in that way

to discipline them

but how can you

demonstrate discipline

to your son or

daughter daughter when

you lose the plot

when you fly off the

handle at the very

moment that you say

that you were doing

it for their

discipline have you

thought about that

that's that's hard

stop think pray breathe

does your child really

need to be shouted at

because they spilt that

drink even if 30

seconds ago you told

them just just just

push it in a bit from

the edge of the table

love and then it

spills and and you

know the reaction are

you showing any level

of discipline yourself

when you let loose

with that barrage of

shouts and commands

and I lay bare like

this for my own sake

this morning I am often

harsh and often hard

with my own three

precious children oh

lord forgive me if I

if I should ever embitter

my children fathers and

mothers do not

exasperate your

children for their

hard hearts will will

start to turn away from

you as a parent and

even turn away from the

lord they might do

their duty till they're

18 they might stick

stick until then but

believe me if you have

embittered their hearts

then they will be gone in

an instant and it may be

the hardest thing in the

world to mend that

bridge that has been

destroyed over years of

harshness but there is

hope even if you are in

that situation today thank

god that even in our

failures that he is the

god of the impossible

because it's about new

birth which is something

that the lord does the

lord does in people's

hearts so how then should

you parent do not

exasperate your children

instead bring them up in

the training and

instruction of the lord

you do it with the same

love and grace that the

lord has shown you as he

has brought you into

fellowship with jesus and

with his church you are to

to be a demonstration of

the fruit of the spirit and

that fruit that comes from

growing together with other

believers in the church in

community

teach your children by your

words teach your children by

your deeds what it means to

be a follower of jesus and a

faithful part of a church

community it's tender tender

training and instruction

that's called to here and as

your children begin to follow

jesus help them to see that

their sin goes right down deep

into their hearts we want to

correct the behavior and that

is that is right to correct the

behavior but as they grow show

them the depth of their sin you

see jesus has caused them if

they are believers to be born

anew and they can become more

like jesus every day they can

deal with the issue of sin in

their hearts and god willing

with her helpless parents and if

your children don't follow jesus

pray on your knees for them that

the lord would save and keep them

and if they continue not to follow

through those early years i think

we need to try and hold these

verses and ensure that when they

hit 18 that they're not embittered

they're not bitter towards us and

bitter towards the lord but that

they will keep honoring their

mother and father because they've

seen gentleness and they've seen

sacrifice each each and every day

it's hard we can't change our

children that's ultimately the

lord's work but but we can seek to

raise them so that past 18 they we

have a relationship with them that

they're not so hardened i'm conscious

reading a section like this it kind

of maybe portrays a particular ideal

family you know mom dad children in

the church isn't that wonderful and

that's that's often not the case in

church life i know for for many

people here it's not that simple and

not that straightforward and there are

lots of things to think about and

applications and i can't cover them

all this morning i wish i could but

there's one that i do want to come

back to um in relation to children

what if my parents don't believe and

that's that situation i i found myself

in growing up through the life of the

church here and i know some people are

in that situation say if my parents

don't believe do i still need to obey

what are the limits of that obedience

if they tell me that i can't be

baptized as a believer they say you

can't go to church even can i disobey in

those cases well i think obedience to

parents even those that don't believe

even if your parents don't believe that

your obedience as a believer it is the

right thing to do the end of verse one as

we said for this is right it almost in a

sense apart from our identity in christ

it's just true in in the whole of

creation so it should be the rare

exception to disobey that's what i'm

ultimately saying it should be a rare

thing of course jesus taught us didn't

he that our our ultimate loyalty is to

the kingdom of god and that there are

times where we'll be in conflict with

family and parents so if your parents

forbid you from following jesus in your

heart and confessing jesus christ as

lord and savior then yes yes at that

point you you must disobey and you must

proclaim that you follow jesus but

baptism can wait until you're 18 being

able to take part fully in the life of

the church it might just need to take

more time to develop over a longer

period the lord knows your heart keep

your respect for your parents and show

them obedience and honesty as a forgiven

sinner the lord sees your struggle the

lord sees your struggle and more than

that he knew jesus knew what it was like

to be on this earth and at different

times to be estranged from his own mother

and brothers and family jesus knew that he

experienced that that tension between the

call of god and the kingdom of god and

the call of family and the kind of

pressures he was under in his society so

so so the lord knows the lord sees but i

believe the lord still calls us to obey

with those rare and few exceptions so just

to conclude let us let us all welcome our

believing children as part of the church let

us together disciple and encourage them as

people who who know the lord and love the

lord and for those children sit among us

that haven't yet expressed faith to see

them as people in need to see and hear the

gospel each and every week so that one day

those children as well may join us together

in the great multitude of forgiven sinners that

will worship the lamb let's pray for that right

now our father we we we we confess that our

our view of of you our view of the bible is

so low at times our vision is so dull and

lord jesus i just want to thank you for the

church and for the greatness of the church

your your great plan of redemption through your

body the church that there's no one word that

can describe it we we thank you that that we can

grow together as believers into the body of christ and be

this new people of god and i thank you that our

children the children in the church are as equal members of

that as as anyone else and father i pray for my own

children as they grow as they express faith in

different ways that i would continue i pray for

for for the other children in the church for the parents here who have children

who are maybe older who have who have left that that don't follow christ now

lord jesus in your great mercy grant them repentance and salvation that they

would they would bow their knee

and that they would remember the gospel that they have heard through many years

and come back and confess and come to you and father there is no greater desire for a parent and then to want

to stand with their children on that day before you as brothers and sisters in the lord

worshiping together and lord in your mercy be gracious make that real in the life of this church for the

children who are with us now and for those that have that have gone on lord that that don't follow you today

lord be merciful for your glory in jesus name amen amen