Genesis Ch2v18-25 - One Flesh

helps you. We're going to read Genesis chapter 2 verses 18 through to 25.

Genesis 2:18

The Lord God said, it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.

Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky.

He brought them to the man to see what he would name them. And whatever the man called each living

creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky, and all

the wild animals. But for Adam, no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall

into a deep sleep. And while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs, then closed up the place

with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought

her to the man. The man said, this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called

woman, for she was taken out of man. That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united

to his wife, and they become one flesh. Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

So let's pray. Father, thank you that we are not left to figure out your design and your plan for life.

And so we pray that as we read your word, these foundations, these beginnings of what it is to be a

man, what it is to be a woman, that you would instruct us and help us to see our purpose as a man and as a woman

today in this world, in our home, in our workplace. Teach us and instruct us. And we pray, Father,

that what we learn today would enable us to live for your glory, so that your glory is spread,

not just through Karagoline, but throughout this earth. Teach us, Father, we pray. Amen.

Well, it's a wonderful picture, isn't it, Genesis chapter 2. God and man dwelling together in the garden,

Genesis 2 · chapter mention

enjoying the beauty of God's creation and delighting in their fellowship with one another. But there's no

lounging by the pool here, because there's great work to be done. The borders are to be expanded,

because it's God's desire that the whole earth be his dwelling place. Look back with me to chapter 2,

verse 15. We saw this last week. The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden in Eden to work it

and to take care of it. We saw there that the garden was like a temple, a dwelling place for God,

a dwelling place that was to grow as man worked and cared for it. It was to expand from the garden

out into Eden and from Eden to the ends of the earth, because the whole earth is to be a dwelling

place for God. A place where God's place where God's place where God extends his rule and where man enjoys

his relationship with God. There's work to be done in this garden to expand the borders.

And our question this morning is, how will this work get done? How is it going to expand beyond the

borders of the garden to Eden to the ends of the earth? Well, three things we're going to look at

from this text. A suitable helper, a covenant marriage, and a greater relationship.

So first, a suitable helper. Up to this point in the creation account, everything has been good.

All the way through Genesis chapter 1, God declares, and it was good. But there's something that is not good.

Genesis 1 · chapter mention

Verse 18, the Lord God said, it is not good for the man to be alone.

Now when you read that, I wonder what your thought is. Our immediate thoughts are perhaps, poor Adam.

He's all on his own, isn't he? In this great big garden. He's got no friends. Maybe he would have

been better called Norman. Norman no mates, nobody to talk to. He's lonely. Well, I don't think that's

Adam's main concern. After all, the creator God of the universe is present with him.

Let's look again at verse 18. The Lord God said, it is not good for the man to be alone.

I will make a helper suitable for him. God doesn't provide a friend, first and foremost.

God provides a helper. Adam isn't bored. He's working and caring for the garden. And he needs help in expanding

the garden. If the whole earth is to be a dwelling place for God, he's never going to do it on his own.

He needs help. And he needs a special kind of help. Look at verse 19.

Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky.

Is he going to find help from the animals? Well, look at the end of verse 20.

But for Adam, no suitable helper was found. Adam needs someone and something different to the animals,

but like himself. There's work to be done. The borders need expanding. So God in his goodness provides a suitable helper.

So what does this helper look like? What kind of help? Well, let's read verse 21 to 22.

So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep.

And while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and then closed up the place with flesh.

Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib that he had taken out of the man and he brought her to the man.

There's four things I want us to notice about this man-woman relationship.

The worker and the helper.

First, woman was made for man.

Did you notice in verse 21 and 22, the woman is formed from the man out of his rib?

And she is given to the man.

We say, Johnny, come on. This is 2021.

You can't say things like that.

Woman made for man?

I mean, woman is independent from man.

Woman has been liberated from man.

You get yourself into trouble saying things like that.

Well, let me be clear.

Let's see what the text is saying.

Woman is given to man not for his own wants and wishes,

but to serve God's purposes.

Woman is to be a helper.

Not a servant or a mistress or a slave.

In fact, woman and man are equal in value.

Being a helper doesn't diminish worth or value or dignity.

Look back at chapter 1, verse 27.

Where God created mankind in his own image.

In the image of God he created them.

Male and female he created them.

You see, man and woman are both image bearers.

Man can't reflect God's image on his own,

and woman can't reflect God's image on her own.

Together they reflect the image of God.

That's what gives us value and worth.

Women don't need to prove their value in physical beauty,

or men don't have to prove their worth by having a successful career.

Men and women are valued because we are image bearers.

This is what gives us value and worth.

So, made for man, equal in value.

But third, we are different in our roles.

Woman isn't the same as man.

We're different.

We're different in lots of different ways.

Different physically.

So, in case you didn't know,

men produce 5,000 to 6,500 units of testosterone.

While women produce 300 to 400 units of testosterone.

That's why, typically speaking,

men are stronger, bigger, and faster.

We're different biologically.

So, women and men have different sexual organs.

One made to give, the other to receive.

Our hormones, well, they affect us differently.

And we're different socially as well, aren't we?

Men love to talk about things and are competitive.

Talk about sport, talk about machines, talk about work.

They're competitive.

Whereas women, well, they have the ability, don't they,

to talk to each other.

And they're more agreeable rather than competitive.

We're not the same.

This is already being reflected in creation.

Think back through to Genesis 1 and 2.

God has created things already in opposite pairs.

Light and darkness.

Land and sea.

Heavens and earth.

So it is with the creation of man and woman.

We're different.

Therefore, we have different roles.

This theme is picked up for us in Corinthians.

You can just have a jump forward to there.

1 Corinthians chapter 11.

1 Corinthians 11 · chapter mention

1 Corinthians 11 verses 8 and 9.

1 Corinthians 11:8

For man did not come from woman, but woman from man.

Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.

Verse 11.

Nevertheless, in the Lord, woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman.

For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman.

But everything comes from God.

Let's go back to Genesis.

You see, there is a difference.

But with that difference comes an interdependence.

We have different roles and responsibilities.

That doesn't mean to say that women can only cook and men can only work in the office.

The point is, we are different.

And we're to celebrate our difference.

We do things in a different way.

Which brings us to the fourth idea.

That men and women are complementary by design.

God has made us to complement each other.

One thinker and theologian, Andrew Wilson, explains it very simply like this.

He says it's a relationship in which two people improve or emphasize each other's qualities.

Very simple, but very helpful.

A relationship in which two people improve or emphasize each other's qualities.

Now that doesn't just apply to a marriage relationship.

This applies to all men and women in all of their relationships.

Whether that's at work or in their social environment.

It's not competition, but cooperation.

It's not independence, but interdependence.

Men need women and women need men in every area of life.

Now we know this is a red hot issue today in our society.

Look at social media.

Whether it's the gender balance in work or equal pay for sports players.

Whatever the topic, whatever the issue.

There ought to be no fight or battle between the sexes.

No one is superior and no one is inferior.

And as Christians we have an awful lot to say about this.

God's design for us is different.

And that difference is good.

It's a difference that actually makes us a suitable fit.

Together as men and women, whatever our marital status,

we are workers and we are helpers.

Complimenting one another to serve God's greater and grander purposes.

That together we would expand the borders.

We would live life as God intends.

So that the whole earth becomes a dwelling place for him.

Where his glory is declared.

Where his reign is expanded.

And we can enjoy a relationship with him.

So, the work, how is it going to be done?

Well, God's provided a suitable helper.

Second, a covenant marriage.

Just a sec while I get a drink.

So, a covenant marriage.

God's design for men and women is to complement each other.

And for most of us, that's going to lead into a marriage relationship.

What develops in the garden is a covenant marriage.

Look at verse 23.

This is man at his best when it comes to poetry.

This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.

And she shall be called woman.

For she was taken out of man.

This isn't boring.

This is a declaration of delight and wonder.

Maybe if you're a woman sitting there, you're thinking,

well, that's not how I'd like to be described.

But this was the best Adam could do.

A declaration of delight and wonder.

Yes, God has provided a suitable helper.

But God has provided an intimate helper.

Christopher Ash, who's written a great book on marriage,

captures it well with this.

For this is delight with a shared purpose.

Intimacy with a common goal.

Companionship in a task that stretches beyond the boundaries of the couple themselves.

As we rejoice with the lovers in the garden,

we must not forget that there is work to be done.

The borders need expanding.

If the world is to be God's dwelling,

where his rule extends and where people live for his glory,

then there needs to be a companionship of working together.

You see, the primary purpose of marriage is not to meet my sexual or social needs.

The primary purpose of marriage is to serve the grand purpose of God.

Look back at 1, verse 28.

1, verse 28.

Here's God's purpose for marriage.

God blessed them, that's the man and the woman,

and said to them,

Be fruitful and increase in number.

Make babies.

Grow the family.

You see, the job is so great

that it's going to take more than just one man and one woman.

It's going to need a whole family.

That's the purpose of marriage.

Mum and dad raising children in the ways of God

so that their children will in turn grow up

to serve the purposes of God.

Families, all families who are gathered here today,

that's your purpose.

You are a team of workers and helpers

serving God so that others will come to serve God.

and enjoy a relationship with him.

Contrary to what many people say,

children are not a burden or an inconvenience.

They are not a mistake that ruins your lovely figure

or interferes with your career move.

Children are,

verse 28, chapter 1, verse 28,

a blessing.

God blessed them.

They are vital members of the husband and wife team.

The teaching of scripture is this,

don't delay in having children,

but make children, if you're married,

your priority.

Now, as we talked recently,

some will not be able to have children

and that's always sad and painful.

It's very hard.

But that doesn't mean to say you've lost your purpose.

No, a husband and wife will go on serving God's purposes

in a very fulfilling way,

but in a different way.

Now, if God's plan and design for marriage

is to meet God's purpose,

we need to follow his design.

Look at verse 24 and 25.

That is why a man leaves his father and mother

and is united to his wife

and they become one flesh.

Adam and his wife were both naked

and they felt no shame.

Three things just to look at from this

to understand the design of marriage.

First, it's to be an exclusive union.

Marriage is between one man

and one woman.

That's what it says there in verse 24.

Therefore, the man leaves his father,

who is a male,

and mother, who is a female,

and unites to his wife.

There's a leaving

and there's a cleaving.

Now, this is really important for us to grasp.

It's about leaving home

and setting up your own home.

Husbands and wives

are to begin to make their own decisions

and to make their own way in life.

Running back to mummy and daddy

all the time

is only going to hinder

and break the marriage.

And husbands,

you have a particular role

in guarding and protecting the marriage.

Just as Adam,

as we'll see next week in chapter 3,

was held responsible,

so husbands,

you're responsible

for your marriage,

for your family.

That's what God has given you

that role to do.

You're responsible for it.

Wives,

you have a particular role

in supporting

and helping your husband

in that role.

To help him

and enable him

to take responsibility.

That's God's design.

And if you are parents here today

of married children,

you also have a very important role

to your married children.

don't interfere.

Don't interfere.

Don't smother them.

But support them

to live out

their roles

that God has given them.

So marriage

is to be an exclusive union.

And it's to be

a lifelong covenant.

You may remember

in Matthew chapter 19

Matthew 19 · chapter mention

and I think it's Mark 10,

when Jesus was asked

about divorce.

If it was permitted,

could a man

leave his wife?

That's the question

the Pharisees

are asking Jesus.

And Jesus answered

that question

by quoting

chapter 2,

verse 24 of Genesis.

He says,

that is why

a man leaves

his father and mother

and is united

to his wife

and they become

one flesh.

And then Jesus

added these words.

What God has joined together,

let no one separate.

In other words,

marriage

is intended

to be a permanent,

lifelong commitment.

It's a covenant relationship.

A relationship

in which people

are committed

to fulfill the promises

as long as you shall live.

Of course,

marriage is hard.

You'll know that

if you're married.

It's not easy.

It does take work

and effort.

That's why we need

to support

and encourage

those who are married.

If you're here

and you're thinking,

well, I'm not married,

this doesn't apply to me.

It does.

You are to support

and encourage

those who are married.

And it's not wrong

if we're married

to need help

or receive help.

Sometimes marriages

need outside intervention

and counsel.

There's many times

Kirsty and I,

individually and together,

have spoken to friends

and say,

you know what?

I'm finding it

really difficult.

It's okay

to ask for help

and to need help.

We need to nurture

and grow our marriages.

We need to invest

in our marriage

for the very purpose

so that we can serve

the purposes of God well.

If I can use Kirsty and I

again as an example,

when we're at loggerheads

with each other,

if we're not getting on well,

we don't serve

the purposes of God well.

It doesn't function.

It doesn't work.

So if you're here today

and you're struggling

in your marriage,

it's okay.

People are there to help.

Come and speak.

Come and talk to me.

We'll find you the support

and the help

that you need.

Don't wait.

Do it today.

So marriage is to be lifelong.

But what about this issue

of if my spouse

is unfaithful?

What if I find myself

in an abusive relationship?

Am I meant to just

shut up and put up?

I mean,

that's what they did

in the old days,

isn't it?

Just shut up and put up?

Absolutely not.

Scripture is not silent

on these matters.

Scriptures have things

to teach us.

Let me say three things

in relation to that.

First,

if ever you find yourself

in such a situation

where there's unfaithfulness

or abusiveness,

reach out

and ask for help.

Don't wait.

Go talk to someone.

No one in any marriage

should have to live

with that.

Yes,

we have social services,

but I think the church

has a particular role

in supporting people,

caring for them

and providing for them.

And I want to say

that as a church,

that is what we will do

for you.

We will provide

the care and support

that is necessary

in such a situation.

The second thing,

that if the marriage

is in difficulty,

the aim is always,

this is where Scripture

points to,

it is always

transformation

and restoration.

With God's grace

and with the right

pastoral support,

people can change.

That's what God does.

He transforms us.

Even Christians

who do awful

and terrible things,

people can change

and people can forgive.

The aim is always

to reconcile

what is broken.

Always.

That's always

the first aim.

Third,

if reconciliation

can't be achieved,

if someone walks

out in the marriage

and doesn't want

to come back,

if someone doesn't

want to own up

or be repentant

for their sin,

well then maybe

divorce is necessary.

But only in

certain situations.

You can talk to me

a bit more about this.

We don't have time

to go into all

the exegesis of it

just to say that

Matthew 19,

Matthew 19:9

verse 9,

1 Corinthians 7,

1 Corinthians 7:15

verse 15,

I think give us

the foundation

and the principles

for decisions

that we make

around this.

Let me give four

where it may be

necessary.

Unfaithfulness,

Jesus spoke about

that in Matthew 19.

ongoing affairs,

sexual immorality.

That could be a reason.

Desertion

or abandonment

which comes up

in 1 Corinthians,

whether that's

physical

or economical,

leaving the home

or not providing

in the way

that should be done.

and I think

from this

comes principles

for areas

of abuse,

whether that's

sexual,

emotional

or physical.

Perhaps there's

threat within the home.

Maybe children

are in danger.

in all of these

situations,

it may be

necessary,

certainly

separation,

but it may be

divorce is required.

Of course,

it's not always

right to divorce

and there may be

decisions that we

need to make

about that

and again,

I would encourage

that that should be

done with the

counsel

of the right

of the elders

and the pastors

to help work

through those issues.

But we must

take Jesus'

word seriously.

What God

has joined together,

let no one

separate.

So marriage

is to be

a lifelong

commitment.

So it's

an exclusive

union.

It's to be

a lifelong

covenant

and within

marriage,

sexual

intimacy.

Look at

verse 24.

We're told

they became

one flesh.

Again,

contrary to

what many

people say,

sex is a

good gift

from God

and it is

good.

It is to

be nurtured

and enjoyed.

Sex isn't

just about

having children.

Within the

marriage context,

it deepens

trust and

strengthens

the bonds.

It's the

mutual

considerate

act of

giving

and

receiving.

Verse 25,

Adam and

his wife

were both

naked and

they felt

no shame.

As one

writer put it,

this doesn't

mean to say

that Adam

had a great

six-pack

and Eve

was a

wonderful

supermodel.

No,

there was

just

openness.

There was

purity

in their

giving and

receiving.

Mutual

consideration.

You see,

marriage is

good and

for those

who marry,

it serves

God's

grand

purposes.

Of course,

not everybody

is going to

marry.

Some will

remain single.

And for

those who

are married,

well,

the day may

come where

you may find

yourself single

again,

as our spouse

dies.

But being

unmarried

is not

inferior.

It doesn't

mean second

best.

In fact,

scripture tells

us that we

can see it

as a gift.

It means

greater service,

more freedom

to serve

the purposes

of God.

So,

how will the

work get

done?

God provides

a suitable

helper.

He has

designed

covenant

marriage.

And then

third,

a greater

relationship.

You see,

God's design

for man and

woman to be

worker and

helper is

good.

They complement

each other.

They're a

suitable fit

serving the

purposes of

God.

And marriage

is the same.

It is God's

good design.

A covenant

relationship

between one

man and

one woman

bound

together

through the

sexual union.

Husband and

wife expanding

the family

to serve the

purposes of

God.

By living

out our

God-given

shape and

pattern,

so the

earth becomes

a dwelling

place for

God.

His rule

is extended

and we

enjoy a

relationship

with him.

In fact,

what we see

here in

Genesis 2

is the

greater

relationship

that God

intends for

all people.

that worker-helper

husband-wife

relationship

is a sign

of what God

intends for

all people

with himself.

You see,

when Paul

wanted to

explain what

our relationship

to God was

like,

he went all

the way back

to Genesis

Genesis 2 · chapter mention

chapter 2,

didn't he?

Have a look

with me at

Ephesians

Ephesians 5 · chapter mention

chapter 5.

Ephesians

Ephesians 5:31–32

chapter 5

verses 31

to 32.

Ephesians

Ephesians 5:31–32

5 verses

31 to

32.

So,

to describe

and to

help us

understand

what a

relationship

with God

looks like,

as we say,

he goes

right back

to creation

and he

picks up

those very

words in

Genesis 2

Genesis 2:24

verse 24.

Look at

verse 31.

For this

reason,

a man

will leave

his father

and mother

and be

united to

his wife

and the

two will

become one

flesh.

This is a

profound

mystery.

What are we

talking about

here?

He says,

I am

talking about

Christ

and the

church.

You know

that account

in Genesis,

man and

woman in

the garden,

the worker

and the

helper?

You know

that account

of Adam

and Eve,

husband and

wife,

marriage?

It's

actually all

about Christ

and his

church.

It's all

about people

and their

relationship

with him.

It's all

about a

covenant

relationship

we can

have with

God.

Just think

about that

with me

for a second.

Just think

about what

Christ has

done for

us.

Think about

his

submission.

Christ came,

didn't he,

in humble

submission to

his father.

There's no

battle going

on.

My food,

says Jesus,

is to do

the will of

him who sent

me and to

finish his

work.

The work

that Christ

had been

given was

to be

finished with

his work

on the

cross.

And so

even when

he was

faced with

his impending

death,

what did

he pray in

the garden?

Your will

be done,

not my

will.

Christ

lived his

life in

perfect

submission,

doing the

father's

work,

serving the

father's

purposes.

others.

No fight

for

independence,

cooperation

through his

submission.

But also

think about

his

sacrifice.

Because

Christ's

submission

would lead

to the

ultimate

sacrifice,

him giving

his life

for us.

He submitted

himself to

death on

the cross,

to take

the blame

for all of

our sin,

for all

the wrong

ways you

and I

have treated

women and

the way we

have treated

men,

not according

to God's

design.

We've all

failed,

whether we're

single or

whether we're

married,

we haven't

treated our

wives as we

should,

and wives

we haven't

treated our

husbands as

we should.

And yet

Christ sacrifices

his life for

us,

so that we

could be

forgiven for

all our

mess and

all our

brokenness,

so that we

could have a

right relationship

with him and

restore our

relationships with

each other.

Now the

story of

Christ,

his submission

and his

sacrifice is

displayed through

the marriage of

man and

woman.

Just as we

reflect man

and woman,

just as we

reflect the

image of

God,

so marriage

is to

reflect the

work of

Christ.

You want to

know what the

gospel looks

like?

Look at

marriage.

Look how

Paul connects

our different

roles in

marriage with

the work of

Christ.

Verse 24,

Ephesians 5,

Ephesians 5:24

verse 24.

Now as the

church submits

to Christ,

and I think

there's a

pattern here,

the church

submits to

Christ just

as Christ

submitted

himself to

the Father.

As the

church submits

to Christ,

so also wives

should submit to

their husbands

in everything.

Husbands,

love your

wives just

as Christ

loved the

church and

gave himself

up for

her.

Do you

see how

beautiful that

design is?

It's the

same design

and pattern

that we see

in Christ

and his

relationship,

in his

submission,

and his

sacrifice.

Our

complementary

roles are

a suitable

fit, not

to serve our

own wants

and wishes,

but to serve

the purposes

of God,

to display the

greatness and

glory of

Christ.

Marriage is

not competition,

but cooperation.

It's not a

fight for

independence,

but faithful

interdependence.

As we all,

each of us,

submit to

God's shape

and pattern

for marriage,

so the

purposes of

God are

fulfilled.

His rule

is extended

and his

relationship

is enjoyed.

When it

comes to

man and

woman,

when it

comes to

husband and

wife,

God is

the creator

and designer.

He knows

what he's

talking about

and we

will do

best when

we follow

his design.

Let's

pray.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Father, we

can only

stand back

in awe

and amazement

at something

that is

taken for

granted

so often

every single

day,

to look at

a man,

to look at

a woman,

to see

their unique

differences,

equally

image-bearers,

but all

part of

your beautiful

and good

design.

We confess,

Father,

that we

have not

treated

woman and

man as

we should

and we

have not

lived in

marriage as

we should.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Father,

would you

forgive us

for the things we have done wrong, said wrong, thought wrong.

And not only that,

but would you give us the guts and the courage

to change what needs to be changed,

to transform us,

to be a woman of God, to be a man of God,

to be the husband and wife that you've called us to be.

We ask this because we know that in it all it displays your glory.

It's a picture of the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ.

So Father, would you fill us by your Spirit

to do that and to do it well.

In Jesus' name.

Amen.

We're going to sing.

This song really picks up on the theme of the submission

and the sacrifice of the Lord Jesus

who came as a servant to serve each one of us.

Amen.

So let's say you'll keep in mind.

That's for him.

That's for you.

This song really picks up on the theme of the Mistress di leads,

to be balanced as a servant as a servant with the Lord Jesus Christ,

the listener to you who comes in,

and to beTimgie and that he is by next.