Goodbye To Vengeance - Goodbye (Week 3)

Well, I'm glad to be finished with that video.

Those are some of my favorite people.

Whoops, sorry.

Those are some of my favorite people, but not my favorite video that we've ever done.

But God bless them.

They tried.

The bloopers may have been better than the actual thing.

But anyway.

It's good to see you guys.

Happy Labor Day to you.

It's good to see you guys up in I got some of my favorite Amen Corner.

It's all the way up there.

I appreciate you guys being here.

With Labor Day, there was a room down here today.

You guys could have been here also.

As you guys know, we have an 11 o'clock service.

And that's been good.

So we are finishing up our goodbye series, which has a really cute video, but man, some challenging messages if you remember those.

If you haven't been able to follow along in goodbye, we do have a podcast.

It's not like a video at this point, but there is audio, so you could go back and listen to those.

It's basically a series built around Romans chapter 12.

Romans 12 · chapter mention

And so if you have your Bible and you want to kind of follow along, I would encourage you to go ahead and open that to Romans chapter 12 or get out your cell phone and use your Bible app and get to Romans chapter 12.

Romans 12 · chapter mention Romans 12 · chapter mention

You know, it's interesting, 11 chapters in Romans, Paul's preaching essentially very theologically, very thoroughly to the church in Rome the good news, the gospel.

Romans is incredible.

I know one year in my Bible journey, Dustin talked about the sometimes how hard it is to go Bible in a year, because it's true.

You know, you got uh you know quite a bit more to read through the Old Testament before you get to the New Testament, which seems a little more like, I don't know, easier to read, more practical and impactful.

But one year I just did Romans the whole year.

I mean, I read it over and over again, different translations, all that.

It was just fascinating.

Uh just Paul's writing in the book of Rome and you know how uh impactful it is and how important it is really to develop our own theological base.

Just a quick plug, also for 301, um, for you guys that haven't signed up for that, you know, that's not like an introductory course.

Sometimes we think we like, oh, I did that, or that seems like an introduction, and you know, I've been following Jesus for years, but man, every time I go through that, every time I teach that, every time I engage that material, I realize uh maybe even if I've matured, don't ask my wife, but even if I've matured a smidge, uh, it's like that class is impactful.

So uh thank you for the guys that are joining life groups, community.

It's that that's the most important thing we can say to you.

Thank you for those that have joined emotional health and responsibility.

Uh, relationships, emotional healthy relationships, and uh 301's got some space in it, so we'd love for you to connect with us.

That all starts Wednesday night.

Anyway, you can learn things like revisiting the book of Romans, where Paul takes 11 chapters and his spending time uh laying out this theological foundation, and then we get to 12, and I just talk about chapter 12 working like a hinge.

And he says this in Romans chapter 12, verse 1 and 2 today from the NLT on the screen, says this, and so dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you.

Romans 12:1

I mean, that's basically what he's saying.

He's like, 11 chapters, this is what God has done.

12, I'm gonna come into front street of your heart, and and we and we're gonna get it right.

And he says, for all that he's done for you, let them be a living and holy sacrifice, the kind he will find acceptable.

This is truly the way to worship him.

And then he goes on to say, Don't copy the behavior and customs of the world.

Your Bible might say, don't be conformed, same shape as the world.

But let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.

Repentance starts with the way you think.

It's a change of mind that produces a change in heart that produces a change in action.

And every sin, every issue of you not living in a way that lines up with the word starts with a lie in your mind.

Take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.

So he says, a new person by changing the way you think.

Thank you, Rick.

I like that encouragement.

Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

So in this series, we've talked about remembering that God has given you a new identity and he's given you a new family, and we've said goodbye to individualism, and we've said goodbye to comparison.

Now, Paul takes us to the renewed mind even deeper.

And this is going to be a tough one.

You'll figure out why people skip on Labor Day.

What do you do with people who wrong you?

Yeah, well, that's the right answer.

Thank you up there.

I told you that's eight-man corner today.

That's what I'm calling that up there.

Eight-man corner, thank you.

Um down here.

Hey, I there's no favoritism in here.

I love you all.

Uh but I like that you're a little jealous.

That's good.

Because I need a lot of encouragement.

Um, Paul literally is going to challenge us today with that idea.

What do you do with people who wrong you?

Because he's saying, based on the 11 chapters, and in view of God's mercy, this is how we deal with the idea of individualism and that we can be our own person, and that when we see other people like Brennan in the video, not in real life, well, maybe a little in real life, there's comparison.

Sometimes I like to call that comparison.

Right?

And we just realize we're all placed in the body of Christ, we're all made different.

Well, there's no reason to look at somebody else and say, Oh, I wish I were like them.

No, God made you who you are.

And then he gets into this and it's like, what are you gonna do with people who wrong you?

So today we're talking about goodbye vengeance.

So what is vengeance exactly?

That's like not a common term we always use.

Simply, it is, you hurt me, I'm gonna make you hurt.

That's it.

It's like, if you hurt me, I'm gonna make you hurt.

Again, it sounds like an old school word, something out of a courtroom drama, but maybe you've known it from some other aliases when we're talking about vengeance.

Any aliases out there?

Let's have a little discussion.

Vengeance would also be known as revenge, payback, that's good.

Retaliation, uh holding a grudge, getting even for you uh new agers, karma.

Right?

If you'd rather the universe handle it for you, we call it karma, uh, whatever the universe is.

Uh anyway, so it might say this word, the term vengeance might seem a little strange, but the action is not that far from you.

In fact, I bet there's some attitude, some interaction with vengeance swirling around your life right now.

I'm pretty sure this message is going to hit us all today.

And here's why it's hard is honestly, our culture today, 2026, we live in a world that rewards outrage.

Whether you're ranting online, or whether you're like Rick shaking your fist at someone who cut you off in traffic in the morning, I didn't see you do that, Rick.

I didn't see you do it, but your wife did, and she called me and told on me.

I'm kidding.

I'm kidding.

I'm kidding.

Um, it seems like that here's the point.

It seems like the angrier you are, the more righteous you look.

Heck, we are the generation that created rage baiting.

Anyone heard the term rage baiting?

Okay.

A lot of you haven't.

Rage baiting is essentially, especially online social media, saying outlandish things in order to manipulate engagement.

So often online, because you can be passive aggressive, you're hiding behind your phone or your computer, you can say any outlandish thing you want so that you drive people crazy and they respond.

And then you can you even you feed off that response.

You can even make money off of that response.

So often the thing that, help me, Jesus.

I almost went there.

The thing that upsets you the most is probably fake.

It's rage baiting, it's manipulation.

That's why half of social media or more is nonsense, right?

But we're the generation that created it.

It doesn't just go there because you know what?

It's not just about fighting and being the loudest.

When we talk about vengeance, sometimes vengeance can be very quiet.

For example, somebody, whether intentionally or unintentionally, hurts your feelings.

And you go quiet for three days.

Telling yourself that that it's peace when it's actually punishing them.

I told you I'm stepping on some toes.

Like it got deathly quiet.

Sometimes instead of just understanding this is my friend, this is my partner, this is my husband, this is my wife, this is my kids, let's just make this right.

We go quiet because we know quiet drives them crazy.

And it looks like peace, but it's really punishment.

So I'm not just talking to the loud people in the room this morning, sir?

Okay, yeah, yeah.

I'm talking to the quiet people in the room, and you could call it processing, Danny, if you want, but it's punishment when you are silent and you're not communicating with your wife.

Praise God.

Anyway, you're with me.

Danny's fine.

I'm just joking with him.

I'm just anyway.

Um, I think about that, and most of the time you're making them serve a sentence for something that isn't even really a real injustice.

It's a perceived injustice because much of our problems are around the area of miscommunication or an assumption or a story we told ourselves about someone else's motives.

And then we convicted them in a courtroom, right?

That no one else, no one, the other party or the other people didn't even know was in session.

And so Paul is going to tell us today, it's clear, is Paul's about to tell us to get out of the chair of judge.

And Romans 12, 17 through 21 is where we'll look.

This is the hardest goodbye in the series.

It's essentially saying, I do not have to make them pay.

I can put it in God's hands.

And we're going to dive into this a little bit.

So, point one Paul's making here is no paybacks.

No paybacks.

He literally says in Romans 12, 17 through 18, repay no one evil for evil.

I mean, there's not a lot of wiggle room in that statement.

Again, in view of God's mercy, you got to go back to that hinge scripture.

What God has done for you, because of all of those things, here's what the transformed mind, the renewed mind, and the transformed life should look like.

However, we sometimes fall back into the old thought patterns and old ways of the world, old stinking thinking.

And so we have to return to scriptures like this to remind us that we don't have to act like the world acts.

Though it may be difficult, we don't have to follow in the pattern of our parents.

We don't have to fall in line with the way we've seen things done because of what Christ has done in us.

I am a new creation in Christ.

The old is gone and the new is come.

It's difficult.

Emotional healthy spirituality taught us that you can have Jesus in your heart, but grandpa in your bones.

And you don't realize I'm actually behaving more like culture or like a family pattern than I am the new creation pattern that Christ came to give me.

So he literally says, repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.

If possible, so far if it depends on you, live peaceably with all.

Paul starts with a companion, this command, repay no one evil for evil.

That word repay, if you think about it, is the same thing we use for loans, right?

Something owed, something you're entitled to collect.

You wrong me, I'm entitled to collect from you.

Evil for evil.

Paul says, no, no, no, no, no.

Whether you call it payback, whether you call it getting even, Paul calls it off limits for the renewed mind and the transformed heart.

Not repay them a little less than they gave you, not wait for the right moment.

There's really no exception, no wiggle room.

And honestly, this isn't something new.

Proverbs 20.

I mean, I've been reading through Proverbs a little bit, you know, the book of wisdom.

It's fascinating.

And then Romans 20, verse 22 literally says, excuse me, Proverbs 20, verse 22 literally says the same thing.

Proverbs 20:22

Do not say, I'll repay evil.

Wait for the Lord.

That's crazy, isn't it?

Wait for the Lord, and he will deliver you.

Meaning there's something inside of ourselves that wants to deliver ourselves.

Which one requires more faith?

For you to deliver yourself or for you to wait on the Lord?

Yeah, let's wait on the Lord.

Good answer.

Paul really in this isn't inventing something new.

He's just saying the renewed mind says goodbye to that old stinking thinking and vengeance as really a normative behavior, a normal behavioral response.

And so Paul then adds something to the scripture.

He says, give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of the Lord.

Why?

Because your actions, your responses preach louder than what you're preaching.

Like I know the gospel's taking effect in me or in someone I'm close to when I see the gospel response instead of the worldly response.

When I see the Bible response, you know, leak out of me drip by drip instead of the normal response.

The way my dad would have responded, or the way my grandfather would have responded.

I know the gospel is working.

It literally says, give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.

Meaning, Paul is saying, let your light shine, that truly your new transformed life will be a witness.

Right?

We're preaching with not only what we say and are testifying about, but with our actions.

Meaning, you should look different than your neighbor who doesn't serve God.

Your marriage should look different than your parents who didn't serve God.

Paul is saying, when your mind is renewed by the grace and mercy of God, there is a new way to behave, new way to act, a new way to respond.

And it should be a testimony, because it's not in our own strength, of God's goodness and power in your life.

And then he gets very realistic.

He says, Oh, this is a tough one.

If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.

Meaning, as much as you can do, your goal is peace.

Now, in relationships, sometimes it takes two to tango.

It takes two of you guys to work it out.

But at the end of the day, you can still be responsible for your actions.

And your motive and your actions is not to repay evil for evil, not to play tick for tack, but to live peaceably.

Choose peace.

Paul knows you can't control how the other person responds.

Some relationships don't get fixed.

Some people will not meet you halfway.

But you are responsible, or your response is your responsibility.

We got it on the screen.

Let's say that together because that's good.

Your response is your responsibility.

Meaning, I can't say well, they were mean to me as an excuse for my behavior.

Tracking with me.

You're responsible for your part, not theirs.

So again, a simple example.

Somebody says something careless to you on a particularly challenging day, and instead of yelling, you go quiet.

One word answers.

One day, two days, three days.

You tell yourself that's mature.

It isn't.

It's repaying them.

It's making them, it's punishing them.

Paul isn't telling you the wound wasn't real.

He's telling you to stop making them pay for it.

He literally says, Vengeance says, I will repay.

As I said earlier, faith says, I will wait for the Lord.

So if you can't get even, what do you do instead?

You wait.

If Paul says, don't get even, what do you do?

You wait.

And Paul shows what that looks like.

Point two, he says, leave room for God.

Romans 12, 19, beloved.

I love that.

He starts with beloved.

Why?

He's reminding you, remember, in Christ you get a new identity.

He's saying, look, you're not like them.

You're the beloved.

You're my children of God.

I'm living on the inside of you.

You've got the power of the Holy Ghost at hand.

And you can tap into that.

You are my beloved.

I love that Paul said that.

He says, Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, Vengeance is mine, I'll repay, says the Lord.

Underneath every act of vengeance sits the same false belief.

Remember, every sin starts with false belief.

If I don't make them pay, Justice won't happen.

So, what do we do?

Silently, or not so silently, we pick up the sword and we fight.

That's not what the Bible says.

You literally are saying to you, this was wrong, and someone has to pay.

And then it takes not only someone has to pay, or someone needs to make them pay, it kind of you take it to the next level.

What do we say?

We say, and it needs to be me.

I'm going to make sure they pay.

That's vengeance.

That's where vengeance is born.

Actually, it's not born in anger.

A lot of times you think you got angry, and so you made them repay.

It's actually not born in anger.

It's born in not trusting God's love and justice enough on their own.

God loves me, God knows me, God cares for me, and he'll move on my behalf.

And then justice enough that God is also just, and in the end, he will work things out.

I don't have to take up the sword.

Because my God, not only is he good, but he's just.

Are you tracking with me?

So Paul quotes Moses, Vengeance is mine.

I will repay, says the Lord.

Those are the Lord's words.

And that line comes from the Song of Moses, a poem near the end of Deuteronomy, where God promised both judgment on his enemies and vindication for his people.

He's quoting what's already been settled as theology in the Old Testament.

The same thing that Proverbs said: wait for the Lord and he will deliver you.

This isn't karma, some type of impersonal force settling accounts with no one running it.

This is the living God who is good and just and will settle all accounts.

Here's where the truth confronts us.

Are you okay with that?

Are you okay with letting God be God?

Are you willing to let a wrong go unaddressed by you and trust it's not unaddressed by him?

Let's say that again.

Are you willing to let a wrong go unaddressed by you?

Can I be honest?

It's hard.

I want to right every wrong.

I want to make everything right.

I want to fix the knucklehead that ran a red light this morning in front of me.

I literally want to chase him down.

Are you willing to let a wrong go unaddressed by you and trust it's not unaddressed by God?

Listen, you can let go of revenge because God hasn't let go of justice.

You can let go of revenge because God hasn't let go of justice.

Let me just stop here and just say one quick thing.

Because I know this text isn't just hypothetical for some people in the room.

Some of you aren't dealing with just like a rude coworker or a snippy text message.

Some of you have survived some difficult things.

Some of you have lived through some hell on earth.

Abuse from a partner or abuse from a parent.

Whether it's physical, sexual, verbal.

Some of you have been abandoned by people that were called to protect you.

Some of you are carrying pain that you honestly have never said out loud.

So I want you to hear me clearly on this.

Nothing we've talked today means, nothing that I'm talking about here means staying in danger.

Or staying silent or pretending what happened to you wasn't real or wasn't serious.

Leave room for God's wrath doesn't mean don't call the police.

It doesn't mean go back into that situation.

It doesn't mean let them back into your life.

Two verses after this passage, we won't read it today, Paul says God has actually given governing authorities, courts, laws, law enforcement, to carry out justice in this present age.

So pursuing legal protection, reporting what happened to you, testifying, that's not vengeance.

That's using one of the very channels, essentially, that God has given you right now.

With this, what this passage for, I want to just be real clear, what this passage forbids is something different.

Like nursing hatred, plotting payback, letting what happened to you become the thing that defines you and consumes you.

You can pursue safety and you can pursue justice through every legitimate means available to you and still release the poison of personal revenge.

Those two things are completely different.

Trusting God with ultimate justice was never meant to leave you unprotected in the meantime.

I mean, this is serious stuff.

So if this is you, please don't carry that alone.

Please don't hear what I'm not saying.

Talk to one of us, one of our pastors, like one of our leaders.

We would love to help you.

Find a counselor, do the things necessary you need to do.

And that doesn't mean pretending it didn't happen.

You can forgive without pretending it doesn't matter.

So I don't want you to hear what I'm saying and just say, like, oh, faith covers all.

Are you with me on that?

Okay.

So if revenge is off the table and vengeance belongs to God, what is the space in between?

Well, waiting isn't passive.

Paul is about to show us in the third point, he tells us here.

He says, To the contrary, like acting like the world, worship God, renew your mind, let your body be a living sacrifice.

This is your spiritual worship.

To the contrary, if your enemy is hungry, feed him.

If he's thirsty, give him something to drink.

For by doing so, you will reap burning or heap burning coals on his head.

Do not overcome evil by evil, do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

So this is more than non-retaliation.

Vengeance says, you hurt me, I hurt you.

Don't do that.

Passivity says, you hurt me, I do nothing.

Don't do that.

Christian love says, you hurt me, I seek your good.

It's not weakness, it's actually active goodness, is how we win.

Paul's word here, I love.

He says, when you're enemy, right?

In the verse, he says, to the contrary, if your enemy.

I mean, I love that because I love that Paul calls a spade a spade.

He doesn't minimize what happened.

He doesn't pretend that they aren't your enemy.

He doesn't pretend that they're not some crazy people out there in the world.

He said, I mean, he literally says, there's some relationships that are genuinely hostile.

But he says, feed him.

Not defeat him, not expose them, not embarrass them, not get even, not teach a lesson, feed them.

In the same way, he says, if you're thirsty, give them a drink.

Man, that is a decision, isn't it?

That is a decision, isn't it?

I'm gonna love them.

I'm gonna feed them.

I'm gonna give them something to drink.

How many know serving someone that has done you wrong is the test of real forgiveness?

I love this.

Romans 12, 1.

Remember, present your body as a living sacrifice.

The more you sacrifice, the more you worship.

See, Paul wrapped this kind of behavior up in when you respond with a renewed mind and a transformed heart and you respond differently, it is your spiritual worship, not just singing songs on Sunday morning.

That confronts us a little bit, doesn't it?

Because we feel right about the way we're like, we gotta make it right.

We feel right about the way we're responding.

But Paul said that there's a way to respond that produces worship.

Love your enemy in the middle of the offense isn't just obedience, it's worship.

You can choose their good over their destruction.

It's really one of the best signs of real Christian maturity.

And if you're in any type of Christian leadership, leadership, actually any kind of leadership, but especially Christian leadership, is sacrifice.

No apologies.

I think back to Genesis, man, how Joseph responded in that moment.

If you think about it, he was sold into slavery.

He faked his death.

Right?

They faked his death to their father, erased him from the family for 20 years.

The famine hit, and the very people that did him wrong stood in front of him, needing something from him.

The one that had really every ounce of power to destroy him.

What did Jesus or Joseph do?

Joseph fed him.

He wept over them.

He summarized his feelings like this: You meant it for evil, but God meant it for good.

Paul is literally saying, I want to just hit on this real quick.

When he talks about heaping coals on their head, that's not like the Christian way to get vengeance.

That was a cultural term that literally meant you're, I wrote it like this.

Gosh, I want to say this.

It's so good.

Where is it?

There it is.

Unexpected goodness.

You're unexpected because when you forgive people out there, no one's been forgiven before.

When you walk in love, that's a rare thing.

You're what Paul's saying about heaping coals is that your unexpected goodness actually will, it brings a moral confrontation, and it actually has the opportunity to bring shame or conviction, possibly even repentance.

When you behave differently, they're like, man, there's something I see different.

No one's ever forgiven me before.

No one has ever walked in real life-changing substitutional sacrifice, what real love is.

All real love is that life-changing substitutional sacrifice.

When you take an offense, when you absorb an offense and give back love, there's a chance for repentance.

And he says, so he says, don't be overcome by evil.

Basically, being overcome is don't lose to evil.

Don't let evil defeat you.

Paul says, if their evil makes you evil, then they've already won.

That's pretty good.

Let me say that again.

If their evil makes you evil, then they already won.

Family, victory is possible.

We overcome evil by good.

Paul is saying victory is refusing to let their evil decide who you become in the moment.

There is a different way, the renewed mind and the transformed life.

And it's only possible through the gospel.

It's only possible as we keep our eyes on the cross and we remember what God has done for us in view of God's mercy.

Remember what he did for you?

He went on the cross.

The Bible says he demonstrated not vengeance necessarily, love for you when he died for you when you were still yet a sinner.

That's powerful, isn't it?

And then the wrath of God is a real thing.

But the wrath of God that we deserve fell on Christ.

And because of that, we've been set free.

This is the good news.

Thank God that we don't have to follow, like obey some rules that somebody never did.

Jesus went before us.

Jesus has already done this.

I mean, I love this passage where it talks about how he went to the cross.

Since when he, Peter said this somewhere, when he was reviled, he did not revile in return.

When he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued in trusting himself to him who judges justly.

What did Jesus do on the cross?

He put his, he took everything that was and he put it in the hands of the Father.

Literally, guys, that's what Paul is calling us to today.

The gospel doesn't erase justice, it relocates it from our hands, it takes vengeance out of our hands and puts it in God's hand, and that's how we overcome.

Man, I'm thankful for the cross, I'm thankful for his power that lives in me.

How does this look?

And I thought about it.

In marriage, I don't have to win the fight.

Man, I want to.

I don't often, but I don't even have to.

At work, I don't have to make sure everyone knows what they did to me.

As a leader, like I said, sacrifice isn't weakness, it's the job.

With family, I don't have to settle every old score.

How many of you know there's some old scores to settle?

But the Bible says, what does it say?

Keep no record of wrong.

When someone comes to me and says, That was the last straw.

I'm gonna, I'm like, well, somebody's been counting straws.

If you knew it was the last one, you've been counting the ones before.

Amen or Oma.

In politics, I don't have to destroy the people I disagree with.

When I've been hurt, I don't have to retaliate.

When I've been treated unfairly, I can pursue justice without becoming vengeful.

When no one sees, God sees.

Remember our word this year.

Deeper.

We started this series saying goodbye to individualism, how we see ourselves.

Then goodbye to comparison, how we see others.

Now goodbye to vengeance, how we treat our enemies.

What's crazy is three goodbyes, one gospel, one gospel doing all three.

The same mercy that gave you a new identity and a new family is the one that changes everything so that the way you respond to people who hurt you.

And when you respond with a renewed mind and a transformed life, you worship God more.

That's a powerful way to think about it, isn't it?

I don't have to make them pay, I can put it in God's hands.

Goodbye to vengeance.

Let's be a people marked with God's love.

Amen.

Let me pray for you.

Father, thank you so much.

That you love us enough to confront us.

And today, whether it's in friendships, in marriage, family, sibling rivalries, relationships with our kids, with our parents, God help us to walk this out.

In Jesus' name.

Amen.