Fatherhood Part 1

Do you care what you live or die?

Sorry.

I don't think I really care too much about you want to put us.

You don't have any belief, boy.

Lord don't care about who's got the biggest house.

I can just give me time.

I've done too much to turn back.

I've done too much to go on.

My grandpa asked me one time, do I care whether I live or die?

Yeah, I do.

So guys, for you guys that have been listening all along for these past few episodes, that's our new intro.

We maybe tweak it a little bit, but for the most part, I think I think we like it.

You know, it's got a it's got kind of something that we're we're trying to bring new to the to the to the podcast.

But but yeah, today, man, we got uh we got a special guest, Pastor Jason.

And then we got his son, Josh.

You know, of course, we got brother Vic here with us.

How's it going?

How's it going?

And you know, I know it's been a little while, there's been a little gap, you know, we've been we've been a little busy, so you know, forgive us, you know, for putting out this next uh taking so long to put this next uh episode out, but you know, you know, life be life in sometimes, you know.

So you know, we're all busy with work and kids and you know, stuff happens at home.

And the men listening, you know, we know you're a man, so you're gonna be going through this stuff too, you know.

And I'm sure y'all got issues going on too, you know.

But at the end of it all, we always gotta remember the enemy's always gonna try to put stuff in our way, is just how we handle it that God's looking at.

You know, how are we gonna handle it?

Are we still gonna be what is the word I'm looking for?

I know you know, we've used it sometimes.

Intentional.

Are you gonna be intentional and make time?

You know, we because we make time for work, right?

We make time for for fun.

We need to make sure we make time for you know for for God, man, especially, you know, because he's without him, we don't wake up, right?

So I know today's episode is it's gonna be on fatherhood.

Yes, sir.

Every single one of us on this panel, we got kids, man.

Yeah, I think I beat everybody, though.

I got six.

I don't know about everybody else, but how many you got, Pastor?

You got six.

You got six as well.

Awesome.

Well, there you go.

I'm at three.

Yeah, three.

How many you got?

I I got two at the same time.

Got twins, two girls.

So today we'll be talking about fatherhood.

And so we have a panel full of fathers.

Yeah, so I want to get it started to kind of break the ice at the beginning.

I'm gonna ask Pastor first and then I'm gonna jump to Josh.

Pastor, I want to go back to when Josh was a baby, or well, even when your oldest was a baby.

I don't know Josh is the oldest.

Where would you set Josh in your age group?

Is he middle or youngest?

Youngest.

So he's six, he's the number six.

Save the best for last.

Yeah, okay, okay.

So back when Josh was a baby, how was it?

I mean, were y'all in church?

How was it?

I mean, even during church, because right now I got three young ones, and church is hard.

I mean, running around.

Well, first of all, I'd like to start out by introducing myself in case not too many people know who I am.

My name is Jason Zaval.

I'm one of the uh associate pastors here at New Life.

I've been attending, I've been I transitioned from the Wolfert worship almost going on two years ago.

Our family transitioned from there, and and this church has welcomed us.

And I mean, it doesn't matter whether it's Wolferth or here, the love is is felt, right?

And and I'm very proud to be part of uh this podcast.

I think Brother Peter and and Brother Victor, y'all doing an awesome job doing this.

And I want y'all to keep it up.

Amen.

Glory to God.

There's so much that the men need to uh hear and and encourage ourselves and build ourselves up that uh this is definitely needed.

So God bless y'all for what y'all do.

Amen.

And but to you answer your question, Victor.

Yes.

Josh was he's the baby, he's uh Joanne and and our our son together that we had together.

We are a blended family.

I like to say that Josh is different, not that he's like more special because we love all our kids.

It's just that we probably raised him more in church than we did our other children.

And there's the difference right there.

You've gotta have that structure.

You've gotta have them plugged in at an early age to the Lord.

Now I'm not saying that that's what makes him perfect, but at least they got uh an outlet or a ground that they can go back to.

But yes, like I said, you know, by any means, Josh wasn't perfect.

He wasn't he was still a child, but he did, he was influenced a lot of going to church and and the Lord did tug him and and move him.

But uh again, you know, the uh he he's he was just able to you could see the difference in him.

At an early age, he would talk about Jesus.

And it would surprise me and join we uh we couldn't we didn't understand where it came from.

Just a little bit that he went to church just for a couple of Sundays, we knew that he was there was a purpose, there was favor.

And I remember one time we went to how many of us, and yeah, y'all probably could say it's by chance, and yeah, I can't remember what birthday it was.

We went to 15th Street Carper Caboose over there off slide, and and we don't go there hardly anymore.

We are we haven't been there in years.

But he used to get like certain prizes at from his school or passes.

And so one Saturday we went to celebrate his birthday, and then there was something in that game that he wanted, and he called it out and he said, I want one of those.

And he put his quarter, the first quarter he put in, or whatever it was, token or whatever it was, I can't remember.

He got it the very first time.

And you know how many people lost their money?

And I was like, How do you do that?

Yeah, there's no way, but I knew there was favor, and I know people say, Well, that can't, well, no, but I've seen it over and over again.

There is favor in him, and and I knew there was special, uh, that he was special, that the Lord had purpose for his life, and uh but you know, as Christians, in order to build ourselves up, in order to have faith, we must reflect on the evidence of our faith.

In other words, you need to go back and see how what is it that the Lord did for you that you know faith existed.

And Joshua's like, okay, there's something about our faith is built up because man, I we can see something in them.

And not that our other kids are not special because they're special too.

Now they all go to church.

You know, they just about all go to church now, and we love that.

It's just it was you know, had we have known sooner, right?

With the other maybe the kids, you know, they would have been even more played that at a sooner age.

But it's never too late.

And uh I uh one of the one of the first of your mo of your most important fundamentals of being a father is and and God did it and Jesus preached it throughout the gospel is to be an example.

Be an example.

Yeah, you know, I can't be an example to Josh if I'm gonna do something else.

I can't be an example to our children if I'm gonna know if I'm gonna do the totally opposite.

If I tell you don't drink and drive, or if I tell you stay with drugs and I'm doing the opposite, it's not gonna work.

Yep, that's true.

And I came to a point that my way, my fleshly way of teaching our children wasn't working.

And that's when me and Joanne, actually, I started going to church first because I knew I couldn't do this alone.

I needed God.

His word says that we can't do all we cannot do things, it's not by our power, but by his, right?

And uh, we had to, I had to humble myself and get rid of my pride and allow, okay, Lord, show me what I need to do because I'm tired, I'm failing, and I need a better way of teaching my children.

And that's what I had to allow him to my life.

Church was just a way that I could be around other Christians to, as we always preach with other iron sharpens iron.

Yep.

You know.

And it's like anybody else.

If you got friends and homeboys, you know, you're gonna hang around with them, right?

Yep.

But if you're, you know, if you're now you're set apart and you're different, you're gonna hang around with Christians.

Yeah.

You're gonna be with Christians, you want to be with your brothers and sisters.

And so that just was a part, you know, people say, Well, you're, you know, now you're good at two shoes and you go to church and all that.

Well, I don't go to church because I want to be a Christian.

I'm a Christian and therefore I want to be around.

Yep, that's right.

The body, the rest of the body.

Yeah, I want to be around them.

Because I can relate to them and they can relate to me.

Yeah.

Just like if you were doing the world.

But it was it was a big change.

So that's what started, and we saw that in Josh.

And I'm praying that, and even now, him being a young father, it doesn't stop being it, we don't stop being an example.

Yeah.

We still have to be the example because I want to be honest with you, and I'm talking to my son now.

Even though you get older, you still get scared.

There's still things, there's still fear that the enemy wants to put in you.

But you have to put your trust and put your faith in the Lord.

And, you know, you can you have to confess it and say it verbally, out loud, and read scripture.

That's the only way you're gonna build up that faith.

I want to highlight something that you said, Jason, when you said, because uh it reminded me of what Pastor Chris said on the panel on Sunday, surrender.

For the men listening right now, you know, because we got men potentially that are one foot, maybe they want to come to church, maybe they don't, right?

So I want to kind of target this towards them.

If they didn't pick it up, I want to highlight it, surrender, right?

That is true.

You just said, you know, you're like, hey, you finally got to this point where like I'm not do I can't do it no more.

Like everything I'm trying is not working.

I need to just surrender it and give it to God.

Because as men, like Pastor says, we not that we're prideful in a bad way, but like we our second nature, we're hardwired to be like, we're gonna handle it, we're gonna take care of it.

I'm a man, I'm the man of this family.

I'm gonna make sure my son is right, I'm gonna make sure my wife is right.

No, this that that's that's the the real walk with Christ is surrender.

That's right.

That's when you're like, you know what, God, I can't do it without you.

I can't raise this family without you.

Okay, I'm gonna just give it all to you, and I'm gonna surrender, and wherever that path takes me, it takes me.

And because I'm gonna trust that you're gonna get me through it.

That's right.

And there's a lot of men out there that don't.

I mean, not that it's bad, but that's we're hardwired that way, right?

You know, we we we want to, man, I'm gonna fix it.

Hey, man, you can't.

You know that sometimes you can't fix it, you know.

So I wanted to highlight that, man, because you just said that.

Well, you know, and then another thing is, you know, I'm glad you said that because you know, we could say uh um sometimes men think that we have to be a certain way, yeah, or we're gonna it's gonna show a sign of weakness.

Yeah, no, that's you know, you can't show, I can't tell my son I love him, and he can't tell me I love him because that's just weakness.

Or we can't show that affection.

Yeah, that's weakness, or that no, that's wrong.

Or you gotta be hardcore, you know what, or you know, you have to be a certain type of way, even if somebody says something that is not polite to you, yeah, or rude, or mean, you've got to react that same way.

And if you don't, you're weak.

You're weak.

Yeah, or they're going to, or the world won't accept you, and that's wrong.

Yeah, you know, or you gotta talk a certain way.

Yeah, you know.

There was a time I remember when I was going to school, F-bomb this, F-bomb that.

I couldn't, I mean, you could stick a bar soap in my mouth because I was, and I thought that meant me was being a tough guy until Josh does too, right?

You know, I thought that was made me hard, you know.

And knowing what I know now, I must look like such a fool.

Yeah.

I remember a coach told me one time, and I wasn't a very strong guy back then.

Um, I remember we used to lift weights.

Yeah.

And I struggled with them back then.

He said, Man, I hope you got muscles to back up that mouth of yours.

I was like, oh man.

I tried to build a move.

I know.

But you know, now I know better, and now it's just like, you know, I still find it, you know, it, you know, when I see young people and they speak a certain way.

I remember I picked up Josh from high school one time, and I had my window rolled down, and some young people passed my truck, and they were just dropping f-bombs, and I don't know what they were speaking about.

And I was like, you know, why are these kids, you know, of me.

Why do they speak that way?

Yeah.

You know, why is it?

And it's not so much I was judging them, but I was kind of like hurt.

I was kind of like brokenhearted.

Yeah.

Because if they only knew.

Yeah, you grieved.

You grieved for them.

I grieved for them.

I said, man, if they only knew.

And that's about a lot about now that we know, you know, you allowed the Lord to come to your life and and teach you and and reveal what's right and wrong, and and you can see that's not the way I want our children to be brought up.

And I'm gonna be honest with you, as long as they go out into school or they're out in society or they're hanging with their friends, they're gonna be influenced by that, right?

Oh, yeah.

Yep.

And it's not that they're gonna be perfect, but we need to equip them as much as we can do the word.

Yeah, and do what who the Lord calls them, who they are.

Yeah.

Because the world is quickly to say, Oh, you gotta be this guy, you gotta be this certain type of guy, or you know, they'll label them.

Yeah.

Other than what the Lord called them, over uh overcomer.

You know, not everybody's perfect, not everybody's has.

Yeah, they they the the they try to alter your identity from what God says.

Exactly.

Yep, exactly.

Man, word from the wise.

That's what I'm talking about.

Well, we heard from the much.

Yeah, we heard from the much wiser.

But speaking on this last topic, I want to ask you, Josh.

I mean, you go to church right now, you're in the pastoral class right now, you know, I feel that you're thriving, you're on fire.

I want to ask you, when have you felt that people around you felt that you tried to change you, I guess you could say, you know, try to pull you back to the world?

I mean, you know, try to put you back steps rather than forward.

You know, growing up, and I'm every time I say this, it's it's not in a prideful way or in a kind of like a Pharisee or looking down type of way.

You know, I I I've never had uh any alcohol, liquor, I've never done any sort of drugs, I've never gone out partying.

I don't know that scene, I don't know what life like that is.

And growing up, I used to hate it.

I'm like, oh man, I got some strict parents.

Man, I can't do nothing around here.

But but but but you know, uh especially like my senior year and after I graduated, I started looking back on it and I'm like, man, thank God I had I had some strict parents.

There's some knuckleheads out here, there's some there's some fools out here.

But I mean, you know, and and you know, and my heart agrees for them.

But so so what I struggled with the most growing up was was bullying.

You know, I got you know, like like my dad said just moments ago, they they taught me that I was different and it was okay to be different, but the world isn't gonna tell you that, you know.

You look different, you talk different, you act different, you dress different, you you walk different, they're gonna put a label on you.

And I hated I hated that growing up.

So going back to your question, you know, hasn't has there been a time, you know, where where where the world or or pe people that that I associate with have tried to pull me back?

Well, I had a a a work party this this past Sunday, and and and me and my wife, well, me and my family went.

And and you know my co-workers like you know, my growing up, my parents told me, you know, like you think you think bullying is bad now.

It doesn't stop after high school.

No, who it doesn't stop.

There's there there's mean adults out there too.

There's not just mean kids, there's mean adults.

And I'm like, oh, you know, whatever, you know, when when I grow up, I don't even have to care about them, you know.

And at a certain point that's true, because I get to go home to to a loving wife and two kids, you know.

But so so at this party they were they were teasing me, they're they're they're they were making fun of me for because I'm different, you know, you know, just just just even for liking comic books, you know, liking superheroes, you know, just even even tiny stuff about me, you know, the the way I talk.

And that hurt me his feelings to to the point where she said she said something about it to my coworkers.

Kind of, I'm not gonna say she was rude, but you know, it was kind of it was kind of mean.

You know, she she reacted instead of responding, you know.

Uh that that that that's what that's what Pastor Janie taught her in moments of of I of anger to to respond and not to react.

Yeah.

But you know, she reacted in that moment.

And so, you know, on on the way home, she she kind of broke down and she was like, and she was like, and she's like, you know, you know, you've told me how you were treated growing up and how you're and how kind of how you're treated at work.

But I never knew it was that bad.

And I look at her and I'm like, it's that bad?

And she's like, wait a minute.

Yeah, and I'm like, and she's like, and she's like, yeah, they're they're like they're teasing you, you know, like like like they're trying to break down who you are.

And I tell her, well, I thank God that I know who I am.

Amen.

That that that that I don't have to rely that's that firm foundation on the rest, on the rest of the world, you know, and I and so something else I told her was was, you know, looking back, I was trying, I was trying to fit in the mold my friends and society wanted me to be in.

Yeah.

But now I thank God that I stopped trying to fit in that mold and I let God mold me.

So that's that and and and so so you know, you know, trying to try to be pulled back into the world.

It for me, it's really the enemy it tries to have me have identity issues.

You know, who am I?

You know, am I am I who God tells me to be or am I who these who these people tell me to be?

You know, am I am I gonna give in or am I gonna stand firm?

You know, yeah.

So that's what it is.

Man, that um that kind of brings me back uh like what you're just saying, because your true identity is in Christ, and we know that.

And and the enemy's always trying to rob us from that, right?

All that that's his job, right?

Because God created you.

He created you for who steal, kill, and destroy.

Yeah.

That's what he's trying to do.

But God, and I heard this sermon one time, it's like God created us, the enemy can't create nothing, all he can do is pervert, right?

He created you for already what you are doing now, right?

He created you for exactly what you're doing.

The enemy's job is to come in and make you think different.

Just like what uh Pastor Chris's daughter said.

You remember what she said on the pulpit?

She said he gets in your mind, and then once he penetrates your mind, then he can control your emotions.

But you're stronger than that.

Because you didn't let that bother you.

Your wife kind of like took it offense because that's your wife now, right?

Naturally, because my wife does it sometimes.

We all know the wife's not.

So and the same thing vice versa, right?

Where men, if somebody tries to attack your wife, you're gonna do the same thing, right?

But she picked up on it, but your deal is like I'm already locked in.

It doesn't matter what they say.

They, you know, the enemy's gonna use the weak ones around you to to attack you.

And when I mean the weak ones, the ones that are not founded in Christ, right?

Because we know, hey man, he got his identity, he likes what he likes.

I know I like old rusty cars, and and a lot of people make fun of me for that, right?

They're like, Well, why you spend so much money and time on those, right?

But that's me, right?

We all have an identity and we're gonna use that to grab people for the kingdom, right?

That's right.

Amen.

And that's our job, but the enemy's gonna come in and try to take that from you.

Right.

He's gonna try to knock you from that and be like, no, that's not you.

You you should be doing like what your friends are doing, you know, the the lost ones, right?

The cool ones, right?

The they drink and they cuss and they listen to this, and that's that's what you should be doing.

So you're standing out from the world, so that you you know that's what's naturally gonna happen.

You know, like you said, you know, it's it's there it you're weird to them.

Not in a bad way, but it's because they don't recognize that.

They recognize, you know, now you'd be a weak one if you went with them, because then that means you're not founded on anything.

You know, now you can be tossed back and forth like the Bible says, right?

You know, this isn't style one day and and then next year this isn't style, so you're gonna do that, and then next year this is gonna be, you know what I mean?

And you're just gonna be tossed back and forth.

Now us that are founded on a real foundation, we look at that and we're like, No, you guys are weird because y'all are just this was lame last year.

And this year it's popular, right?

Exactly.

I do that with my my son, my older one, right?

He's he's six, about to be 16.

And the hairstyles, bro, they blow me away, man.

Because his hairstyle, right?

And this is just an example, right?

You know, the hairstyle he has, I'm like, you know, we made fun of guys like yo, with that hairstyle in my in my era, right?

And then yeah, so modern day now, that's the popular thing.

And the people that have a haircut like me, well, I don't got hair no more.

Yeah.

Well, the people like me, we get made fun of now.

If you had a haircut like me, right?

So if you're listening to this, it's just, hey man, the world is don't don't the world don't know.

You know, be apart from the world because the world in reality.

They like you.

Yeah, yeah.

The world the world is really the one that's weird because one one moment it's popular, and one moment it's it's looked up frowned upon, man.

Like, and you're just jumping back and forth, okay, we're we're good with this now, or oh now we're not, you know.

That's why you can't.

Well, sorry, like it says in Proverbs, you know, a double-minded man is unstable in all of his ways.

Yeah.

You know, he doesn't an unstable man doesn't know a double-minded man, you know, doesn't know.

He just goes along with the crap.

And that's exactly I'm glad you brought that up, Brother Peter, about the uh hairstyles and fads.

And you you can't you can't base your life on society.

You can't base your life are what you see on social media.

It's because it's always changing.

It is, bro.

It's always changing.

But the word never changes, the word never changes, right?

And that's what and that's what you can that's what you can depend on.

I know I know this last few months are about revival.

Yeah.

And I like to say that, you know, the there needs to be and there needs to be revival in in and fatherhood and and how you lead your family.

Revival.

Yep.

You know, there needs to be, what does the word say, a renewing of your mind, you know?

We love our kids.

I love them to death.

But sometimes we can't allow them to do everything they want to do, everything that they see.

Yeah, it's true.

We need to apply biblical uh scripture on why it's wrong or what some of the things that they can do or why it's wrong and and up and apply it.

And sometimes, you know, they may not like it.

But like Josh said, he's man, I'm glad I had.

Yeah.

You know, we weren't that way with all the kids.

You know, if I could fix, go back and uh change it, you know, maybe I would.

But you know, uh scripture says, you know, the Lord said he makes all things good for those that believe in him, that trust in him.

That's right.

And I believe all these things come out, and and and I I don't want to even think about that because right now I think it's it's a blessing right now.

But we're as fathers.

Yeah.

And I'm probably the I know I'm the oldest father here.

It never stops.

When your kids get older, you're still dead, it never stops.

Yeah, you're gonna keep on going.

Yeah, but I uh you know, I'm glad that you know we're doing a thing on revival, and and that we need uh a revival in in men, yeah, and fathers, yeah, and and husbands as well.

Yeah, amen.

In the church.

One thing I want to add before we kind of wrap it up, right?

Was I was studying this morning and hopefully I I pronounced this book in the Bible right.

Nahum, right?

N-A-H-Nahim, Nahim, right?

Nah.

So I'm barely starting it, and I know it's a short one, but as I'm studying it, I didn't know it was not a continuance, but kind of in conjunction with Jonah, book of Jonah, right?

Because it talks about Nynaeve, right?

Nine Eve, and if hopefully I'm saying that right, Nineveh, right?

How Jonah had to go preach to Nynaeve, and it was a it was a very just perverted town.

They were doing things they weren't supposed to, right?

Not living right.

So Jonah, of course, goes, everybody knows the story.

He he wants to run from that task because those people are evil, and he ends up in the whale's belly, right?

Well, Nahum is basically 150 years after you know Jonah went to go minister to Nynaeve, right?

So six generations roughly passed, right?

Because a generation is roughly like 20 to 30 years.

So middle 25, so let's just say like six generations, right?

Six generations.

So we know when Jonah went, they repented, right?

They repented.

But they didn't, I guess they didn't, as generation and generation came, they weren't passing it along.

Exactly.

For you men that are listening, that's what I'm trying to get at.

So why it's so important to bring surrender, bring your children to church, bring your family to church.

So in when as they grow and they get their family, the next generation comes, they keep coming and going and going, right?

Obviously, something happened in those six generations, right?

After Jonah ministered to them, right?

So where they got back to the evilness and perversion they were in, even to the point where they had Israel as captives there.

To where now God had to come back and punish the land, right?

Punish, and and you know that's what ends up happening, right?

The generations get worse and worse and worse.

God's like, dude, y'all are not listening.

I send prophet after prophet after prophet, and we already know what the next step, chastising, right?

You know, of course, end of the chapter shows that God still, you know, He He has a forgiving heart, but I mean you have to go through it because you don't listen, right?

So that's why it's important for the surrender, bring your family to church because we don't want your next generation.

Because by the time if you if you don't bring your kids to church, they're not gonna take their kids to church.

That's right.

And then as a second, third, fourth generations come in, they're gonna be like, What's church?

Uh I don't even know what that is, right?

Exactly.

So then and now the world gets a hold of them and I don't know where I heard it, but the break the generational curses.

Yeah, break that curse of not knowing who Jesus is, break it of not knowing what church is, actually start that, you know, a new thing.

And yeah, like that.

So before we end it, I want to ask Josh and Jason, what's one piece of advice?

So I'm gonna focus on you first, Josh.

You're a father, what your babies are 10 months old?

Twins?

Yeah, 10 months old today.

So as a father, the new father of 10 months, what's one piece of advice you would give to help, you know, fathers coming to church, you know, new fathers coming to church?

Oh man.

How do I put it into words?

It's kind of like you know, the mornings, you know, the Sunday mornings you get up and you're like, oh man.

I don't want to go to church, man.

These kids, man, they they had me up late.

I woke up in the middle of the night.

I man, I got off work late yesterday.

And you know, and you you you try try to come up with with every excuse in the world of not going to church, you know.

But you know, you're like, ow, it would be pointless.

You know, you know, me me and I talked about this on Sunday because you know we're we're having plumbing problems, you know, we weren't getting any water.

And you know, we're we're we're waiting on on my brother-in-law to to to come help us out.

And I told Mina, I was like, you know, this would be our life if we didn't go to church.

She was like, Yeah, this is kind of boring.

I was like, Yeah, this is just kind of pointless, you know.

So my piece of advice is even when you don't want to go, go.

Make the effort, you know.

Even you even if you gotta fight the kids tooth and nail, go.

I understand that.

Go.

Yeah.

That is very that is very strong piece of advice because we had a little bump in the road.

Yeah, we had to make sure that no matter what, we're gonna go, good mood, bad mood, fighting with the kids, and now we're going.

And it's like it's crazy to me because we have those days we're like, man, I don't want to go to church.

But once you get here, once you start, you know, after service, you're like, you know, I'm talking to everybody, I'm not leaving yet.

Yeah, so like you know, you get that change.

But so yeah, I like that, you know, you gotta go no matter what.

Well, what's your piece of advice before we end this out?

And and that's true, because you know, you we always have those choices whether we want to go to church, but and I'm gonna go back to what on the coattails of what Brother Peter said, you know, to bring your kids or bring your family to church.

Church really starts at home.

Yep.

It starts at home.

Yeah, yeah.

Because you we bring our we bring our families to church and our children to church to congregate with other believers, but the church starts at home.

The ministry.

And and because I mean, we could hear the pastor, we could be that.

I mean, some of the best Oscar awards can go to people that go to church.

Yeah, because there's somebody else.

But once they go home, different, you know, they're different.

Yep.

So the church starts at home, and that wasn't my advice, but uh, that's one of the things I want to say.

You've gotta, which is gonna go with what one other piece of advice lead by example.

Why lead by example because Jesus did it, yeah, he did it throughout the gospels.

He asked the disciples to watch him and he gave parables about it.

And and we should lead our families, lead our marriages, lead in the church.

We should be the example, not to be somebody else, but to know that it's the Lord is our example.

And if they see that, then everybody's gonna fall, then they're gonna know.

Yeah, family will know who they are, and they can identify, and you can lead, and there's integrity.

But my best advice as fathers to lead by example.

One of the things I always say when I when we do the uh men's study is that your daughter, your uh son, they want to be like you.

We're their superheroes, the father and the mother, we're like everything.

And so if you do something, or if you maybe you have a habit or a drinking habit or a smoking habit, they're gonna want to imitate because my father did this, my father did this.

And I'm not saying that's always the always the thing, but most of the time it is because they want to be like their father.

My father, I idolized my father, you know, they could, and I want to be like him.

We really gotta watch out with that.

Yeah, because we could bring them down a path that we don't want them to go down.

But if we can teach them the way the Lord wants us to lead our family, that's the best example they can give.

My dad never talked to my wife this way, or I would see him pray, or I'm sorry, my dad never talked to my mom that way.

So I, you know, I want to be a good uh husband.

Yeah.

Or, you know, I see him pray.

What do we do now in this situation?

Well, let's pray.

Yeah, you know, because my dad taught that we should pray unto the Lord through all circumstances.

Yeah.

Now I'm not gonna say we're all perfect.

I understand that because sometimes, you know, we there's valleys and then there's hills, right?

And when it's in the valley, that's when we, you know, that's when we gotta keep on persevering and not give in.

Like you said, uh, when they say, well, I don't want to go to church.

Yeah, I don't feel like going to church because man, I, you know, I'm looking for the Lord.

Yeah, and I don't feel like going to church.

Yeah, yeah.

But that's when you know you gotta get to church.

Yeah, you're about to miss something.

That's right.

Yeah, about to miss something.

You gotta edify yourself.

You gotta go.

You gotta you gotta fellowship because there might be something that that you know the enemy is waiting to see where you're gonna give up at.

Yep.

And once he has you, he's got that family.

And my best advice lead by example, persevere, pray, put God first and in the midst of your family and in your marriage.

And and you're gonna see, you're gonna see changes.

Amen.

You're gonna see changes.

Man, that was a wonderful episode.

That was a real good one.

Yeah, that was worth the wait.

Yeah, it was worth the wait.

If one of y'all would like to end this out in prayer, go ahead and finish this one.

Let's close in prayer.

Heavenly Father, I just thank you for this um opportunity to uh fellowship and and share in this podcast some examples or some advice that we can give to fathers and and husbands.

Heavenly Father, we pray right now that you're in the midst of those that need you, Heavenly Father, that those that need a change in their family or or in their marriage, Heavenly Father.

We right now we pray for the pulling down of strongholds, Heavenly Father, Lord Jesus, to be to let pride come down, to humble ourselves, to be broken, to surrender unto you, Heavenly Father, to put you in the middle.

Heavenly Father, I know you made and you built the men up to be a certain way, but like David, you know, he put you first.

And he was able to bring down his Goliath.

Right now we pray, Heavenly Father, for the men to gather to stand up for you, Heavenly Father, knowing that you are in the fight and you are in the middle.

We pray for Brother Peter, for his brother Victor on their podcast, that they continue with their ministry.

We pray for my son as well, Heavenly Father, Lord Jesus.

Lift him up and his new family, too, that he can be the husband that you wanted to be and the father that you want us to be.

And for all those that need you, Heavenly Father, we pray for them as well.

In your name we pray.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

I'd like to start do a shout out to Brother Rue for our new intro.

Thank you, Josh and Jason, for being here.

See y'all later.