Understanding Godly Discipline

When one of our boys was in seventh grade, is he forgot to bring his lunch to school.

Now, to his credit, as my wife and I only reminded him about 32 times, okay?

I guess 33 is the magic number, right?

But if you've ever raised a seventh grade boy, a junior high boy, uh, I want to let you know this.

Is um their ability to hear things, comprehend things, attention to detail is not necessarily their spiritual gifts, okay?

They will grow out of it, and then it comes back when they become 21 and 22, and then the women in the room can talk about adults later in life, right?

Uh, but it's amazing that seventh grade boy he can remember the Wi-Fi password at his friend's house from six weeks ago, but remembering the lunch that he packed and put by the door was a bridge too far.

So on this day, the school called us and let us know what kind of bad parents we were, that our kids uh came to school without their lunch, right?

And so we did what any loving, caring parent would do um absolutely nothing, right?

Absolutely nothing, right?

And because of this, is if you've been to any of our parenting classes, you've probably heard uh my wife share a saying that we used quite often in our house when our kids were having to deal with the circumstances they put themselves in because of their decisions.

Is she would tell them, I love you too much to rob you of this lesson.

I love you too much to rob you of this lesson.

And so to be clear for us, this was not about punishment, right?

We weren't sitting at work being like, man, I hope he is suffering, right?

Our starving kid who will be home at three o'clock and will still eat everything in the house.

He's gonna be okay, right?

This was about discipline.

Right?

Punishment says that you did something wrong and there's a payment.

Discipline says, I love you too much to keep rescuing you from something that can help you grow.

Now, to be clear, is sometimes love steps in and removes the consequences, but quite often is love does not do that.

Is love lets you feel the consequences because there's something on the other side of it that you need to learn.

And church, if we're not careful, we can misunderstand God when we think about this.

Something difficult happens in our life when we walk through something tough, and immediately we think, God is punishing me.

Right?

What's happening?

What is he doing?

Is it because of something that I did?

But today, here's what I want us to see, right?

For the child of God, that there's an enormous difference between punishment and God's discipline.

Because sometimes our Heavenly Father might be just saying, I love you too much to rob you of this lesson.

And this distinction matters when we come to Genesis chapter 42 today, because Joseph's brothers are going to experience some difficult circumstances.

Genesis 42 · chapter mention

And immediately they go back to the things that they've done and they think God is punishing them, right?

But what if?

What if God is not paying them back?

What if God is bringing them back?

You see, one of the things I love about this Bible is that God, in all of his wisdom, is he uses imperfect people to teach us about his perfect character, right?

I can open this up and I can look at the life of David, and even through his flaws, I can see about being bold and courageous.

I can look in here and I can see Moses and see what faithful leadership looks like.

I can look at Noah and see what obedience looks like when obedience doesn't make sense.

And so for us today, as I want to look at the life of Joseph, because I think he teaches us something about the difference between punishment and discipline.

You see, every one of those men I mentioned and many more is they were imperfect.

And I want to be careful because this week I was sharing a little bit of this lesson with a friend of mine who's sort of new to the faith.

And we were talking about Joseph, and he said, Man, that seems strange, some of the things he's doing, right?

So I don't want us to look today at everything that Joseph does and thinks, oh, that's how God would do it?

That's not what we're doing today.

I think a better question is this What does this story reveal to us about how God moves in the lives of people he loves?

So if you're turning your Bible to me with Genesis chapter 42, Genesis chapter 42, and as you're turning there, you know, if you've ever watched a TV series on Netflix or Amazon Prime, you know, you maybe it's been a few weeks and you turn it on and you're on like episode five.

Genesis 42 · chapter mention Genesis 42 · chapter mention

And the bottom left-hand corner, it says like recap, right?

So you can click the recap or you can skip it.

Just for a moment, we're gonna click on the recap because you need to have a good understanding of what's happening so we know what's been going on.

So for the past few weeks, this Pastor Ryan's been leading us through our Shaped at Home series as we look at the life of Joseph, man.

And Joseph has been through it.

To put it in modern-day terms, is Joseph has been a victim of domestic violence, of human trafficking, false imprisonment.

And now Joseph finds himself as the number two in line to Pharaoh in Egypt.

Because years earlier, as Joseph had interpreted one of Pharaoh's dreams.

He told Pharaoh, he said, Hey, here's the dream, here's what this means is Egypt is gonna walk through seven years of abundance.

But then Egypt's just gonna walk through seven years of severe famine.

So Pharaoh looks at him and is like, okay, bro, that sounds good.

You're in charge of all of it, right?

You're number two.

Everybody listen to Joseph.

I'm gonna go do my thing.

That's what happened.

So Joseph fled all the way through the times of abundance, and now we find that the years of famine have come, and not only do they impact Egypt, is they impact all the way down to the land where Joseph's dad Jacob and his brothers live.

So they're there.

And Jacob hears that there's there's food, there's grain to be bought in Egypt, and so he tells his sons, the ten of them, to go buy food in Egypt, but leave Benjamin, the youngest son, here.

So they go to Egypt and and they go to buy the grain, the food, and now they're standing before the number two man in Egypt, their brother Joseph.

See, they have no idea who he is.

So Genesis chapter 42, verse 5 through 8 says this.

Genesis 42:5–8

The son of Israel were among those who came to buy grain, for the famine was in the land of Canaan.

Joseph was in charge of the country, he sold grain to all of its people.

His brothers came and bowed down before him with their faces to the ground.

When Joseph saw his brothers, he recognized them, but he treated them like strangers and spoke harshly to them.

Where do you come from?

He asked.

From the land of Canaan to buy food, they replied.

Although Joseph recognized his brothers, as they did not recognize him.

Church, think about this for a moment.

Think about how surreal this must be for Joseph.

It's been 20 years since he's seen his brothers.

Last time he saw them is they threw them in a pit, him in a pit, and they were gonna leave him to die, but then they wanted to make some money, so they sold him into slavery.

And now they're bowing before him.

How should he respond?

How would you respond?

What would you do?

You see, in this situation, is Joseph has all the power.

He knows who these ten men are, but they have no idea who they're talking to.

And so Joseph makes an interesting decision here as he accuses his brothers of being spies.

What is he doing, right?

Why would he do that?

And then he puts them in a situation to test them.

Verse 14.

Then Joseph said to them, I have spoken, you are spies.

This is how you would be tested.

As surely as Pharaoh lives, you will not leave this place unless your youngest brother comes here.

So send one from among you, so one of you can go, everybody else has to stay there, to get your younger brother.

The rest of you will be imprisoned so that your words can be tested to see if they are true.

If they are not, then as surely as Pharaoh lives, you are spies.

So Joseph imprisoned them together for three days.

See the word tested here in verse 15, it's it's very important, right?

Because I think it's part of what we should take away from in this interaction.

Because at first glance it seems weird, right?

Like what is Joseph up to?

Is it revenge or punishment?

He's he's hiding his identity, he's thrown them in jail, he's accused them of being spies, but but he he only put them in jail for like three days.

I mean, if he really wanted revenge, is that is that harsh enough?

So you think about that, but then Joseph has got to be up to something else, right?

So I believe this passage of scripture gives us a good glimpse through the life of Joseph, through his decisions he's gonna make at the difference between punishment and discipline.

And friends, this matters.

This matters in our our walk with God.

Because if I misunderstand what God is doing, then I can misunderstand who God is, and then and then I don't trust him.

And that's dangerous.

So today I want us to look at this story and I want to almost compare and contrast the differences between punishment and discipline.

And the first difference we see is this punishment looks back, and discipline looks ahead.

Right?

Punishment looks back in the rearview mirror, punishment looks backward, discipline looks ahead.

Now, I've mentioned to you before, I grew up in a town called Lufkin, Texas, about three hours East Texas, up I 59, and uh played football for the Lufkin Panthers, right?

Where I grew up, it's 5A football, Friday night is football.

I know with Katie we got 80 high schools, they play Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, right?

But where I grew up, man, Friday night lights.

Friday's football, right?

So we played every game Friday night.

But then Saturday, Saturday is film day.

And oh boy, you show up at the field house, and we did a little running and stretching, and if people were hurt, they got treated, and then you went to the film room, the offense went to one room, the defense, we sat in front of the other room, and Coach Mathis, our defensive coordinator, turned off the lights, turned the projector on, and every boy in the room, their prayer life increased.

Dear Lord, please don't let him stop on the place I messed up, right?

I mean, the Lord's name was being lifted up in prayer that day.

But undoubtedly, every single time Coach Mathis says some portion it would stop.

Flurry, what are you thinking right here?

I don't know, but you're probably about to tell me, right?

I understand this.

Rewind it, show it again, rewind it.

What do you do?

Coach, I got it.

Sometimes he would like play it in slow motion, right?

Like just so we get the point, right?

Coach, I got it.

But here's what I understand now, right?

Is Coach Mathis wasn't showing me Friday night to punish me for Friday night.

He was showing me Friday night to get me ready for next Friday night.

To get me ready for what comes next.

So I think that's what God does in our life, right?

His discipline looks back and says, you know what, let's learn from what you did because there's another game coming.

So he takes us back.

God takes us back to remember things in our past or to correct things in our past.

Not so we can live there, but so he can shape us, right?

That's been the title of this sermon series is shaped at home.

To see how God can use what's in my past to shape me for my future.

Not to live there, but to learn there.

We look back to see how our past has shaped us and to allow God to shape what's going to come next.

And so that's exactly where Joseph's brothers is they find themselves.

Verse 18.

On the third day, so they've been in prison for three days, Joseph says of them, I fear God.

Do this and you will live, right?

So he's giving them a way forward.

He says, If you are honest, let one of you be confined to the guardhouse, because he switched.

First, it was all of you confined here, one person go.

He's being gracious, merciful.

Just one of you stay here.

The rest of you go and actually take grain.

He's giving them food to go back to relieve the hunger of your households.

Then he says, Bring your youngest brother to me so that your words can be confirmed.

So Joseph gives them a path forward, but I want you to notice immediately where their minds go.

Listen to this in verse 21.

Joseph says all this to them, and they say to each other, obviously we're being punished for what we did to our brother.

We saw his deep distress when he pleaded with us, but we would not listen, and that's why trouble has come to us.

First, did you catch that?

Joseph is talking about what comes next.

I mean, he's giving them food, grain, he's sending them home.

You can read even with the money that they paid, but the brothers are talking about what happened years ago.

They're staring in the rearview mirror, and honestly, as I understand that, right?

They had no idea that the Egyptian ruler standing in front of them is their brother.

But they do remember what they did to their brother.

And apparently, after all these years, they have not forgotten.

They remember his cries when they threw him in the pit.

They remember the distress and the tears and his pleas as they sold him into slavery, and he was shackled and threw in the back of a wagon and drug away.

And Reuben piles on in verse 20T.

Did I not tell you not to harm the boy?

But you wouldn't listen.

Listen to this.

Now we must account for his blood.

In their minds, they're thinking, man, it's finally caught up with us, right?

We've been hiding the secret, and here we go.

Have you ever thought that?

Something difficult happens in your life, some medical diagnosis, maybe something at work, something your kids are walking through, a conflict in a relationship, or you're some difficulty, and you immediately think, man, God's punishing me for what I did.

I know why this is happening, because here's what I did.

God's paying me back.

And you see, friends, that's how the brothers interpret everything that's happening to them.

And here's what's fascinating, right?

Is they're not completely wrong.

Their past matters and it's real.

But God is clearly using these circumstances not to punish them, but to awaken a conscience in them that's been buried for years.

And they're misunderstanding the purpose.

They think this is about payback and punishment, but friends, God is up to something much bigger.

Now, watch Joseph, right?

Now we get a glimpse at his heart.

The Bible tells us that Joseph is, he understood everything they were saying, right?

He was pretending to be an Egyptian, so he was using an interpreter, so they didn't know that he could understand them, but he could hear everything they were saying.

Everything they were saying about what they did to him and their pleas, and man, now our his blood is on our hands.

And it says this that Joseph turned away and he wept.

He wept.

You know, whatever else is happening in Joseph's heart right here, this is not the picture of somebody who's cold-hearted and thirsty for revenge.

I mean, if Joseph wanted revenge, he could have had it.

He could have sentenced them to death, to prison, slavery.

Nobody would have blinked an eye because they deserved it.

That's not what he did.

Instead, over the next few chapters, as Joseph begins to put these brothers in situations that are going to reveal something incredibly important.

Are they still the same men who sold their brother into slavery?

See, that's the question.

Or have they changed?

That leads us to our second difference.

The first difference is punishment looks back, discipline looks ahead.

Number two, punishment requires payment.

Discipline produces change.

Punishment requires a payment, discipline in our life produces change.

You know, some of the hardest conversations I ever had during my time in the Marine Corps were not with Marines that I had to punish because they they broke a law or didn't follow an order.

No.

It's guys that I had to have walked through some difficult circumstances because of what I believed in them, because of their potential, because of what I thought they could do, because they could learn they could be better.

For Joseph, he's not interested in whether his brothers remember what they did.

They remember it.

They talked about it.

He's interested in if what happened 20 years ago actually changed them.

And this is where the story gets fascinating.

Think back to what happened with Joseph.

Joseph was the favored son, the only son of Rachel.

His dad, Jacob, deeply loved him.

He was the favorite.

His brothers were jealous.

So what do they do?

They sacrificed their brother for their own convenience and their own comfort.

Now, a lot happens between chapter 42 and 44.

I invite you to read that sometime on your own, but I just want to give you a quick glimpse.

Is the brothers as they they return home with a grain?

They tell their father about the man that they met, and they they eat the grain, but guess what?

The famine is still going on, and there comes a time where Jacob tells the boys, You've got to go back and buy some more.

They said, Dad, we don't want to do that because he asks us when we come back to bring Benjamin with us.

And Jacob is scared to leave Benjamin.

His favorite son, Joseph, the only other son of Rachel before Benjamin, he knows what's happened, so he's guarded Benjamin with his life.

But desperation of no food comes into place, and then he lets them all go back.

So they arrive back in Egypt.

And what's interesting is Joseph almost greets them almost like a celebration, right?

He has a big dinner for them, and he thanks them and he brings them in.

They have dinner together, and then what's interesting is then Joseph sets up one final test.

You see, as the men are packing their bags with all the grain and the other stuff, and they're loading up their donkeys or camels or whatever they have, is Joseph has one of his servants place his own silver cup into Benjamin's backpack.

And so Joseph's brothers, they load everything up in their caravan and they begin to head out of the city.

And as they head out of the city, they get pulled over by the cops, right?

That's what happens.

Is Joseph has some of his men follow them as soon as they get out there as they get pulled over, and like all of us, they're like, Do you know why we pulled you over?

I have no clue.

They didn't.

He said, Why did you steal from us?

Well, what do you mean?

One of you stole Joseph's silver.

None of us did.

Well, the punishment for whoever did this is gonna be they have to stay in Egypt and be a slave, and as they open up all their belongings, it's in Benjamin's backpack.

Now don't miss out what Joseph has just done.

He has created a situation that looks strangely familiar, guys.

Years earlier, Joseph, the favorite son of Rachel.

His brother sacrificed him.

Now it's Benjamin, the other favorite son of Rachel.

Benjamin is vulnerable, but once again, the brothers can save themselves.

They can walk away from all of this by abandoning their brother again.

Same family, same father, another favored son, another opportunity for them just to walk away.

But the question remains: are they the same men?

And that's when Judah steps forward.

If you remember Judah, Judah was the one who back in Genesis 37, when they threw their brother in the pit, is he says, Hey, what do we gain by killing our brother?

Let's sell him.

Right?

It was his idea to make some money.

So Judah was the one who initiated Joseph being sold into slavery.

But now listen to Judah.

In verse 33.

He tells Joseph, Now please let your servant remain, meaning him, as my Lord's slave in the place of the boy.

Let him go back with his brothers.

See, don't miss what just happened.

Twenty years earlier is Judah chose himself, his pride, his comfort over his brother.

But what we see now is transformation.

Right?

The circumstances are similar, but the man is different.

See, that's why discipline isn't simply about making us hurt.

God is intending to produce something in us, right?

To correct something, to expose something, to mature something.

It's God saying, Once again, I love you too much to rob you of this lesson.

And sometimes the loving thing is not to remove the circumstances, right?

And some of you know exactly what that feels like because God uses discipline to change us.

Look at the change in Judah.

The man who once sacrificed his brother to save himself is now sacrificing himself to save his brother.

Church, God wasn't finished with Judah.

He's not finished with you.

Brings us to our last difference.

Punishment pushes away, discipline seeks restoration.

When we finally arrive at Genesis 45, is Joseph has had enough.

He's in a room with all of his brothers and with his servants and other people around him, and he looks at all the other Egyptians and tells them to get out.

He says, Get out of the room.

So all that's left is Joseph and his brothers, and once again, they don't know who he is, so their mind is thinking, My gosh, what is happening?

And then Joseph says this in verse 3 I am Joseph.

I am Joseph.

Can you imagine that moment?

They're standing in front of the brother they threw into a pit, the one they sold into slavery, the one that they thought was probably dead, except now that man is second in power in Egypt.

And if you're them, what are you thinking?

I'm like, bro, we're dead, right?

Man, this last few months keeps getting worse.

Right?

Everything behind another door is another something for us, man.

It even says this in verse 3 it says, but his brothers couldn't even answer him.

Because they were terrified.

I would be too.

Of course they were, right?

But one of the most powerful pictures in this portion of scripture is what Joseph does next.

And parents, if you're in the room and we talk about disciplining your kids, you need to hear this because you should never use your presence as punishment.

Joseph says, Please come near me.

Please come near me.

Don't move past that too quick, right?

If Joseph wanted revenge, he could have had it.

He could have said, get away from me, but instead he says, Come to me.

And Joseph, he doesn't pretend that his brothers didn't sin against him.

He even says in verse 4, I am Joseph, your brother, the one you sold to Egypt, right?

He names what they did.

For his grace doesn't require that we pretend that nothing happened, right?

But Joseph now can see the bigger picture.

He's starting to get a glimpse of what God has been doing for 20 years.

He has no clue.

But now he says this.

Listen.

And now don't be grieved or angry.

He's comforting them.

What would you say?

But you guys owe me an apology, right?

He says, Don't be grieved or angry with yourself for selling me here because God sent me ahead of you to preserve life.

Joseph can finally see the fingerprints of God upon his life and how God has worked through this.

What they did was evil.

But God was working through what they did.

So how does this whole thing end?

Not with Joseph destroying his brothers?

Not with Joseph humiliating his brothers?

It ends with Joseph embracing his brothers.

It ends with tears.

Forgiveness.

Family.

Remember the question we we looked at in the beginning was what if God wasn't paying them back?

What if God was bringing them back?

That's exactly what he did.

Friends, that's what our Heavenly Father does.

He brings us back.

Now there's one question we have to answer as we close.

If the brothers were were guilty, and they were, and if we're guilty of the sin in our life, which we are, then how can God discipline guilty people without ultimately punishing them?

Scripture is clear.

Someone has to pay for sin.

Someone did.

Romans chapter 8, verse 1 says, Therefore, there is now no condemnation in Jesus Christ.

Romans 8:1

No condemnation.

Why?

Because Jesus already paid for your sin.

He didn't place a down payment on it, and then you got to pay the rest.

He didn't finance it for you.

He paid it all at that exact moment.

Friends, God doesn't overlook your sin.

He doesn't overlook mine.

He doesn't pretend it didn't happen.

Because of his love and mercy and grace for it, he put his punishment on the cross on his son.

That's why when you believe in God, when you've put your faith and trust in Jesus, is God isn't somewhere keeping a ledger saying, Man, I've been waiting for the opportunity, even the score.

Ten years ago you did this, it's time to pay up.

No.

Are there still earthly consequences for our sin?

Absolutely.

Is there still earthly scars that we're gonna feel?

Yes.

But guess what?

They're not eternal.

They're not eternal.

The cross says that your debt has been paid.

And friends, that should change how we understand the difficult work that sometimes we have to go through in our life.

If every time something happens, is we think immediately, man, God is getting me back.

He I'm having to be punished for this, is we're hearing courtroom language, right?

God speaks in family language.

Now I want to know something.

This is is not every difficult thing we walk through in life is God's discipline or God's punishment, right?

I want you to know that.

I want you to think, man, something happened to you today as you leave, it's it's God's discipline.

No, right?

Is sometimes in this life is is we suffer because of others.

Collateral damage.

Man, sometimes we suffer because of the sin of others.

Maybe you were abused, maybe something happened in your life.

That breaks God's heart.

Other times we suffer because of our own decisions, right?

We make some dumb decisions, and sometimes there's just earthly consequences for the decisions that we make.

Sometimes we suffer because this world is just a broken place.

It's not what it is until Jesus comes back.

But sometimes, and this might be the most difficult one for us to understand, is sometimes, friends, God allows pain.

God uses pain.

And we may not know why he allowed it.

We may not understand why he didn't stop it, and we can't see what he does in the middle of it.

But I want you to share a promise with you from the Word of God.

And here's what this promise says in Romans 8.28.

We know that all things work together for good for those who love God.

And we love that verse.

I love that verse.

Many of you have claimed that verse in their life.

I was visiting a family recently in the hospital and they spoke about this verse.

But here's my question if I'm being honest with God.

God, what do you mean by good?

Man, sometimes it doesn't feel good, it doesn't look good.

What I'm walking through is not the good that I would have chosen, Lord.

That's why you got to read the next verse.

Verse 29 says this.

For those who foreknew, he also predestined, listen, to be conformed to the image of his son.

You see, God's purpose for us is to be conform to the image of his son.

What does that mean?

It means for us to look more like Jesus.

For us to be like Jesus.

That's the good.

God's ultimate goal for my life and your life is not to make us comfortable, right?

It's not to prevent every inconvenience or every difficulty in our life from happening.

That's not the purpose at all.

The purpose is for me, for you, to look more like Jesus.

And he uses all the circumstances in our life, the good and bad, to do that.

And sometimes he will use the very things that I would have avoided with all of my heart to accomplish the things that I most desperately needed in my life.

Do you know that?

Sometimes when God disciplines his children, guys, it's not about condemnation, it's about transformation, it's about restoration, it's about love.

It's about a father committed to making his kids look more like Jesus.

So at a moment here in the worship center on the courts, is I'm gonna pray.

And then after I pray, is Scotty's gonna sing and we're gonna stand and you're gonna have an opportunity to respond.

And so, what does that mean?

Maybe you're here today and you're just checking out church and you're like, Brad, I've just got some questions, right?

You you talk about Jesus and a cross and forgiveness, and I'm sort of unsure of all of that.

Man, come down and just ask us some questions.

We would love to have your faith journey start today.

Maybe you're here and you just have a sense of guilt on you that you can't let up.

That yes, man, I know Jesus died on the cross, but Brad, you don't know what I've done.

Friends, can I tell you something?

There's nothing that you have done, will do, or will ever do that cannot be covered by the grace of Jesus and the blood of his sacrifice.

Do you know that?

Maybe you're here today, and and maybe as we talk about this, is is maybe God's exposing something.

Maybe he has put his finger on an attitude, a habit, a wound, an area of your life where you've been disobedient.

And so you walk through difficult times, is don't think he's just trying to make you pay.

Jesus has already paid.

Maybe today you need to be reminded that your heavenly father sees you and says, I love you too much to rob you of this lesson.

Will you pray with me?

Heavenly Father.

We thank you for the life of Joseph.

Lord, through his life, we get just a glimpse at your character.

A God of forgiveness and grace and mercy, but also a God who uses difficult times to shape us and mold us to be more like your son.

So today, Lord, that's our prayer.

Through the power of your Holy Spirit, Lord, make us more like Jesus.

In your son's name we pray.

Amen.

Hey, Pastor Ryan Rush here, and I just want to thank you for being with us at Kings and Online today.

What an honor.

But I'll tell you what would be even better.

We'd love to see you get connected with the physical church in the days ahead if you haven't already.

And that means maybe if you're local in the West Houston area, we'd love to see you at Kingsland.

Otherwise, regardless, we'd love to help you facilitate uh jumping into a local church near you, and we can do that together.

You can go to Kingsland.org slash online connect.

Kingsman.org slash online connect to find out the next steps on your journey.

Listen, thanks again for being with us today at Kingsman.