Cultivating Gospel Centered Relationships

Good morning.

Our scripture reading today is found in the book of Colossians, chapter three, verses eighteen to chapter four, verse one.

My name is Carrie Oswald, and I serve on the connections team here, and I have the privilege of reading God's word in the gathering today.

Again, the scripture is found in Colossians chapter three, verses eighteen to chapter four, verse one.

Wives, submit to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord.

Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

Bondservants, obey in everything, those are your earthly masters, not by the way of eye service as people pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord.

Whatever you do, work heartily as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward.

You are serving the Lord Christ, for the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality.

Masters, treat your bondservants justly and fairly, knowing that you also have a master in heaven.

This is the word of the Lord.

Amen.

Thank you, Carrie.

So, Indiana.

What a bummer.

Blowing a fourth quarter lead with uh being ahead by two scores.

Didn't see that coming.

Got to admit it, but uh, not like that's characteristic of anything.

So if you have a bad bad Saturday, it's a good Sunday because the good news is that Jesus Christ is still on the throne.

He's still alive and well, he's still won an eternal victory, and we're celebrating that good news this morning.

And uh, if you're new, my name is Trevor.

I'm one of the pastors here and have the joy of preaching God's word this morning.

Uh my first job out of college was working for the Fellowship of Christian athletes.

I was an area representative, which means that I oversaw five counties of ministry within the corner of Northwest Missouri.

Uh, also served as a chaplain there for the football team at Northwest Missouri State University.

And FCA's vision was to impact the world for Jesus Christ through the influence of athletes and coaches.

The strategy was really pretty simple.

We're gonna go to and through the coach.

And the idea behind this particular strategy was that if we could reach just one coach, that one coach could potentially reach hundreds, maybe thousands of athletes with the gospel of Jesus Christ.

And in today's text, we see that the Apostle Paul adopts a similar similar strategy with the home.

He's kind of advocating a to and through the home model of Christian ministry.

And if you remember back to Colossians chapter three, the thesis of this particular book is that the gospel would bear fruit and increase among the Colossian Church and across the whole world.

To use FCA language, what Paul is saying is that he wants to see the good news of Jesus Christ impact the Colossian Church, and then through the Colossian Church impact the world.

And Paul's philosophy here in this particular text seems to be that the best way to do that is to and through the home.

Because the gospel flows from us as individuals to the world through our relationships, usually through our closest relationships.

Now, I realized this morning that talking about things like authority and submission and marriage and family can be kind of hard to hear, even deeply personal for some of you.

Depending on your background, whether you're single or widowed or divorced or you're facing family complexity or issues of infertility, these topics can kind of strike a nerf.

And if that's you, I just want you to hear this morning that I'm sorry for whatever challenges and pain that you're carrying with you.

These can be really sore subjects, and uh this passage can often be misused and abused in the local church.

And I just want you to know that if you're walking through stuff, if you need prayer, if you need support, if you need encouragement, if you need counsel, we would love the opportunity to enter into those conversations with you and walk with you towards healing and redemption.

But my prayer for you this morning is that this passage would be really meaningful and really redemptive.

Because this passage is not ultimately about power and control.

It's about what happens when Jesus transforms our relationships.

Because a relationship with Jesus not only changes us, it also changes our relationship with God.

And when it begins to change our relationship with God, it subsequently must change our relationships with one another.

And so that's what I want you to see this morning.

And I hope, I think, that as we work our way through this text, it's going to be redemptive and it's going to be worshipful.

So our big idea is this that the Lordship of Jesus should shape and change the way that we do relationships in the home and in life.

And as we work our way through, there's three things that I want you to see in this particular text.

I want you to see the people in our relationships, the pattern for our relationships, and the purpose of our relationships.

So if you have your Bible, go ahead and open to Colossians chapter 3, and we'll start in verse 18 with the people in our relationships.

Colossians 3 · chapter mention

And throughout this passage, Paul mentions three different kinds of relationships, three different kinds of people.

In verse 18, he addresses wives.

In verse 19, he addresses husbands.

In verse 20, he addresses children.

Verse 21, he addresses fathers.

Verse 22, he addresses bondservants.

And in verse 1 of chapter 4, he addresses masters.

And as you look at this particular text, it's helpful to understand that human relationships are built on social contracts.

Unwritten, usually unspoken expectations that govern how we relate to each other in a given context.

Social contracts appear in just about every domain of life and in every type of relationship.

We see them in countries and companies, we see them in churches and neighborhoods, we see them in families, we see them between individuals, we see them within individuals and organizations, and we see them within citizens and their governments.

They might differ from person to person and context to context and nation to nation, but our relationships, whether it's with a spouse or a friend or a neighbor, are all built on social contracts.

Unspoken agreements that govern how we relate to each other.

And just to make this a little more concrete, I'll give you a couple examples.

There are plenty, but I will give you just two.

Consider, first of all, basic elevator etiquette.

When you walk onto an elevator, there's an unspoken social contract between you and whoever else is on that elevator that you get in, you turn around, you push the button, and you do not say anything the rest of the ride.

In fact, when those doors close, it's almost like an invisible force field emerges from the center of the elevator, and everybody immediately goes to their own corner and leans away from each other.

Like the elevator was social distancing before there was social distancing.

And you spend your entire ride awkwardly standing there in silence with this total stranger, why you silently judge them in your head.

Somebody got excited about that.

But then you get this awkward situation where sometimes you pull up to the stall at the same time as somebody else.

And so you do that awkward thing where you kind of size each other up a little bit, though, right?

You're kind of looking at who's in the other car, what kind of drunk car are they driving, do they deserve this spot, or do I deserve this spot?

And if it's like an elderly person or a mom with a bunch of kids, you politely let them pull into the stall because there's a social contract that you should respect those kinds of people.

But if it's a high school kid driving a driver's ed car, you hit the gas and you pull into that stall as fast as you can.

Because those kids need to learn that the world can be a rude place.

And you need to respect your elders.

But those are just some examples of social contracts.

Are there unspoken agreements that nobody had to tell you?

When you get on an elevator, nobody hands you a rule book and says, here's how you should relate to the people in the elevator.

When you are driving through the parking lot, nobody, there are no signs overhead that say, hey, the stall goes to the first person who gets there.

Those are just social contracts that we all intuitively and implicitly understand and we kind of live by as they govern the way we relate to each other in those particular spaces.

Now, the examples that I gave you are pretty silly and arbitrary.

They don't really mean anything in society.

But the social contracts that Paul is speaking to here, they're actually societal and they're really substantial, particularly in his day.

You see, in the first century Greco-Roman world, which the Colossian Church belongs to, it was a highly stratified patriarchal society.

Everything was entirely built on position and status and power.

And men in that context, they had all of the power and were considered to be superior.

Women and children and bondservants, they were considered inferior.

They had no social status, they had zero influence, and they had no power.

In fact, wives, children, and bondservants weren't even really related to as people.

They were treated more like property.

And so each of the pairs that Paul is mentioning here represents some type of social contract between those in authority and those under authority.

And what Paul is doing here is radically countercultural.

By addressing each group, he is essentially telling each person in this list these people are not property.

They are people, image bearers of God who are deserving of worth and recognition and honor, just like everybody else.

And likewise, uh, everyone in that particular day would have known that people under authority had social obligation up the ladder to those in authority.

That was nothing new.

That was assumed, everybody intuitively understood that.

What is particularly new, or at least not common, is the fact that Paul calls for accountability for those who are in authority.

He assigns moral responsibility towards those who are in authority, towards those who are under their authority.

And that was relatively unheard of in Paul's particular day.

Husbands and fathers and masters, they were kind of free to do whatever they wanted with their wives and their children, their bondservants, because after all, in that day, those people were basically property.

And it would have been unthinkable in Paul's day for somebody in authority to have accountability and moral obligation to those who are particularly under their authority.

And now, by ignoring this social context, modern readers often look at this particular passage and they accuse Paul of being misogynistic and chauvinistic.

But if you actually look at this passage in its context, Paul is not being that at all.

Paul is in fact doing the exact opposite.

Paul is dignifying those who are under authority.

And he is humbling those who are in authority.

They might play different roles in the home and in the world, but they are equal in dignity and worth before the Lord.

So this passage is Paul's attempt to level the playing field by essentially rewriting the social contracts between those in authority and those under authority.

Not by rejecting each person's role, but by redefining their relationships.

And that's true for us in our day as well.

Each of us, regardless of who we are, are gonna find ourselves in seasons and situations when we're in authority and seasons and situations when we're under authority.

And in the situations where you find yourself under uh under authority, this passage should encourage you.

Because what this passage is saying is that your worth is not dependent on your role.

Whether you're a wife or a child or an employee or a student or an athlete or a church member, you are a person made in the image of God, and that means that you inherently have dignity and worth that nobody can give to you and nobody can take away from you.

And alternatively, when you find yourselves in positions of authority, this passage should humble you because your status doesn't define you.

If anything, according to this particular passage, your status should actually sober you.

Whether you're a husband or a parent or a boss, maybe a teacher or a coach or a ministry leader, the more status you have, the more moral obligation you have towards those who are under your leadership.

And the result is that we should follow with dignity and we should lead with humility.

That's what Paul is wanting us to see.

And that's the first thing that we're looking at today, the people in our text.

I also want us to see the pattern of our relationships in this text.

Look again at verse 18, Paul says, wives, submit to your husbands.

Verse 20, he says, children, obey your parents.

Verse 22, he says, bondservants, obey your earthly masters.

And then likewise, on the flip side, he says, verse 19, husbands, love your wives.

Verse 21, fathers, do not provoke your children.

And in verse 1, masters, treat your bondservants justly and fairly.

Now, when you look at Paul's instructions to those under authority, side by side, a pattern of willing submission should begin to emerge.

Each person in this list is called to voluntarily follow the lead of those God has placed over them in authority.

Not reluctantly, not begrudgingly, not even dutifully, but willingly, of their own volition.

At the same time, when you look at Paul's instruction to those in authority, it's an equal but opposite pattern.

For them, he expects them to lead with a pattern of sacrificial love.

Each person is called to use their authority not to exploit people, as was common in that day and time, but to actually serve people, to give themselves for the good of others.

Right?

Because when you look at this list, it takes time to love your wife.

It takes energy to nurture a child.

It takes money to treat a bondservant fairly.

So even in all of that, the people who are in authority are called to use their authority for the good of those who are under their authority.

And when that happens, everyone wins.

Why?

Because relationships flourish when the person leading loves the person who is following, and the person following trusts the person who is leading.

Think about that for a minute.

Willing submission gives those in authority the freedom to lead, and sacrificial love gives those under authority the security to follow.

As a result, what you end up with is a virtuous cycle of human flourishing.

Each person willingly giving themselves for the sake of the other.

One simple way that you can think about this is a little bit like a tandem bicycle.

Tandem bicycle, one person steers from the front, but unless both people pedal, that bike isn't going anywhere.

It requires both people doing their part in order to enjoy the ride.

If the person who is in the back doesn't pedal, the person who's steering isn't going to get very far.

But if the person who is steering does a poor job and steers that bike into the ditch, the bike's also not going to get where it's supposed to go.

But when the person steering and the per people pedaling are all working together in cooperation, you end up with a nice, enjoyable bike ride.

And so, practically speaking, that means that when you are a leader, you have a responsibility to create safety for those under your leadership.

Whether that's your disposition, your word choice, perhaps your tone of voice, you are called to use your authority to create an environment that makes it easy for people to follow your lead.

And the same rule applies not only in the home, but in the workplace, in our relationships with our neighbors and our friends.

Any type of power dynamic between those in authority and under authority, those who are in authority are called by God to create safety for those who are following them.

There might be workplace policies or compensation, house rules or the way that we go about discipline for our children.

But if you are in a place of leadership, you have no right to expect anyone following your lead to do so willingly if you are not creating safety for them to do so.

Likewise, if you are under leadership, you have a responsibility to create freedom for the people that God has placed in leadership over you.

That can happen in a number of different ways, but one example is collaborating with those leaders instead of complaining about them, trusting their intentions instead of overanalyzing their actions, supporting their decisions, even if the ultimate decision they come to isn't exactly what you would prefer.

And also perhaps accepting their weaknesses instead of harboring resentment towards them, giving them the freedom they need to lead well in the home, the workplace, the classroom, maybe perhaps on your sports team.

Because if you're not following in a way that respects authority, you have no right to expect them to lead you well.

Because you can't have one without the other.

Relationships need both sacrificial love and willing submission in order to work according to God's design.

So that's the pattern that Paul gives here in this particular text.

But that's a little bit general.

And if I stop there, I'm falling short of what this text is actually teaching.

Because while there's a general pattern that applies to all people in all places, when there's a relationship between authority and those uh in submission, there's also a specific application for each one of these verses that we have to hit in order to be faithful to the text.

So I'm gonna walk through, I'm gonna show you guys specific applications for each one of those particular things.

Starting in verse 18, Paul says, wives, submit to your husbands.

Now, ladies, the first thing that I want you to see is what Paul does not say.

Paul does not say women submit to men.

He says, wives submit to husbands.

The context that Paul is speaking to is the covenant of marriage, where a man and a woman pledge themselves to each other before God.

And so this applies only in a covenantal relationship between a husband and a wife.

It doesn't apply to boyfriends or fiancés or your crush or the random guy that you met last night at the party.

It applies to husbands and wives.

So if you're ever in a relationship with a per a man that you are not married to and he tells you that you need to submit, you need to run away.

That ladies, that man does not have your best interest in mind.

Because if he's a good leader, he won't have to tell you to submit to him.

You'll want to follow his lead by the way that he treats you.

At the same time, If your husband is doing his best to lead you well, you have a responsibility before God to follow his lead.

It doesn't say if he's doing it well or habatting a thousand.

It says you have a responsibility to uh your responsibility is related to his responsibility to lead, not to his ability to lead.

There's a difference between those two things, and it matters.

So if your husband is making an effort, he's probably not going to be perfect.

He's probably going to fall short.

There's probably going to be mistakes.

There's probably going to have to be some conversation.

But your job is to respect him and to support him and to encourage him in his leadership, not to disparage him.

At the same time, men, this also means that you have no right to tell a woman to submit to you.

Not even if that woman is your wife.

The thing that we have to see about this particular text is that the choice of submission is given entirely to the wife.

It is not given to the husband to coerce or demand or expect.

It is a voluntary submission.

Paul is giving agency to women in his culture in a way that was unheard of and uncommon.

And so if you are a husband and you find yourself frustrated with your marriage, the first question you should ask is not, what's wrong with my wife's submission?

The first question you should ask is, is there anything wrong with my leadership?

Demanding submission is not leadership, it's bullying.

And it's unaccepted in the church and it's unacceptable in the world as well.

But man, I want you to hear as well that that doesn't mean that you should be passive either.

The answer to abuse of authority isn't to reject authority, it's the proper use of authority.

And as men today, we're actually swimming a little bit upstream.

You see, for the last 150 years or so, culture has been working against the grain of male leadership in our world.

And see, and it started about the 1850s with what's called first wave feminism.

At that time, there was kind of a hierarchical relationship between men and women in the culture, where men were beginning to abuse their authority.

And first wave feminism came in and it fought for equal rights for women, legal rights, voting, property ownership, right to work, and those kinds of things.

That was actually right and good.

That's actually in line with biblical teaching that men and women are created equal before God and have equal value and worth.

And that was a good thing for society at the time.

But first wave feminism gave way to second wave feminism in the 1920s.

And the second wave feminism kind of changed the perspective on what they were after when it came to the relationship between men and women.

And what was subtly caught and taught at that time was that women don't need men.

The shift went from like men have no right over women to women don't need men.

And then what happened in the 1990s is we have third wave feminism come in.

And during that time, it focused on individualism and a fight against toxic masculinity.

Again, nothing necessarily wrong with fighting against toxic masculinity.

We actually should fight against that in our particular culture.

But what was subtly taught and caught from third wave feminism is not just that we don't need men, it's that actually male leadership is bad.

Men are the problem.

Now that wasn't explicitly said, but if you just look at our culture, that's kind of the message that's been absorbed and lived out.

And the result has been a lot of emasculated men.

Instead of stepping in to exercise leadership in a way that is God-honoring and helpful for the people around us, men have just stepped back and taken their hands off and said, fine, if you're gonna be upset, then I just won't do it.

And I want us to hear, men, that we need to reject the abuse of authority.

We need to reject toxic masculinity.

But we should not reject authority and leadership altogether.

We should redeem it.

And the way that we redeem it is not by ignoring these kinds of passages of scriptures, it's by leaning into them, understanding what they're saying, and then living them out in ways that honor God and serve the world around us.

So let me just say to the men real quick: don't be passive.

God has called you to lead, and we need you to step up.

Your wife needs you to step up.

Your children need you to step up.

This church needs you to step up, and the world needs you to step up.

Because the answer to abuse of authority is not to reject authority, it's to lean into authority in the way that God designed.

So don't be passive.

Because if godly men don't step up, evil men will.

Now, in this next section, Paul is gonna show you what that looks like.

Look at verse 19.

Paul says, husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

Now, a lot could be said about the word love here, but I think Paul means it in the most holistic sense possible.

And I think there are three particular angles that are helpful for us this morning.

For one, to love your wife is to enjoy her.

It's to delight in her, it's to treasure her.

God has given you the woman that you are married to to enjoy, to enjoy her personality, to enjoy her interests, to enjoy her ability, to enjoy her life experience, and to learn to care for her and what she cares about, to get excited about the things that she's excited about, to enjoy the things that she enjoys.

But as all of you, I'm sure, know that just doesn't happen.

It has to be cultivated.

You have to put in effort, you have to uh take time to understand her, you have to take time for meaningful conversations, you have to take time for shared experiences.

So start by loving your wife, enjoy her and treasure her, find the things that matter to her and give yourself to them.

But to love your wife is also also to nurture her, it's to help her flourish spiritually and emotionally and psychologically and physically every way possible.

That could look like a lot of things, but maybe it looks like watching the kids so she can get away to recharge.

Maybe it means listening intently to her when she's telling her you about her day.

Maybe it means becoming a good student of your wife and listening carefully to the throwaway comments about the things that she would really enjoy seeing around the house and then doing them.

Finally, to love your wife is to do what's best for her.

So go out of your way to serve her and to meet needs that she might not even know that she has, to help around the house without having to be told, or to do the things that need to be done on your own initiative simply because that's what's good for your wife and your family.

And I'm confident that if we have men who lead with that kind of love, we won't have a problem with women who are willing to follow that lead.

Because most people respond well to being loved well.

And so we need to be men, both husbands, but also men in general, who love our wives well and who love those entrusted to our care well.

Verse 20, Paul then goes on to say, children, obey your parents in everything.

I want you to notice here that there's a difference between what Paul says to wives and what Paul says to children.

He tells wives to submit to their husbands, but he does not tell wives to obey their husbands.

That is an important distinction.

To submit to your husband is to follow his lead, to respect his authority, to honor and support his role in the home.

That doesn't mean you do every single thing that you told as if your husband is a parent.

But kids, on the other hand, they don't have that excuse.

So this is Paul's way of saying kids don't talk back.

Or like what we I sometimes like to jokingly say in our household, this is not a democracy.

Right?

I'm a benevolent dictator, and you belong under my leadership.

Right?

So let me just speak to the kids really quickly for a minute.

I want you to hear this, kids.

God has graciously given you your parents for your good.

And the scriptures tell you to obey your parents in everything.

Not the things you want to obey in, not the things you feel like are right to obey in, not the things that other kids obey in, but to obey your parents in everything.

In fact, this passage would suggest that it's sinful not to.

So unless your parents are asking you to do something that's illegal, harmful, or sinful, you should obey right away, all the way, with helping hands and a happy heart.

Okay?

Now for the dads, in verse 21, Paul says, Fathers, do not provoke your children lest they become discouraged.

The word provok for provoke there is this idea of like to stir up or to agitate.

And uh if we could use like the storm chaser translation of this passage, like, hey, if you want to stir up the storm, go to the storm chaser's game.

Don't do that in your home.

Dads are called to calm the storm, not be the storm.

And uh practically speaking, that means that when dads are around their kids, we should put our kids at ease, not on edge.

Right?

Uh so dads, when tensions and emotions run wild, we should be the regulators on that.

We shouldn't be contributing to that so that it escalates further.

We should be people who come into the home and who de-escalate the emotional tension in the room, not who trigger it.

Like your wife shouldn't turn to your kids when you come home and be like, all right, kids, there's a thunderstorm morning until bedtime.

Be on your best behavior.

Because the dad is not to create the storm in the house.

The dad is intended to create calm and peace and joy.

In my own parenting, for example, uh, when I am on edge, when I am easily irritated, when I respond to the volatility in the room of volatility, my kids usually have a hard time listening to me.

But when I respond in a calming, peaceful, non-anxious way, it begins to diffuse the room, and they're more likely to listen to what I have to say.

Not guaranteed, but more likely.

And so we can't make our kids obey, but we can create conditions in which they are more likely to succeed.

And so I think that means just like making it easy for our kids to obey that, obey us.

I think that means like engaging them with a calming disposition rather than an intimidating one.

I think it means disarming them with thoughtful reasons, with the instructions that we give them, rather than like empty phrases like, just do it because I said so.

I think it also means like motivating them with a godly example, where we're inviting them to follow our lead and never asking kids to do what we say, but not what we do.

And so I realized this morning that that's way easier said than done.

If you've got a kid who's strong-willed or you just butt heads, this is gonna be a really big challenge in your home.

But I don't want that to discourage you because we can't always control how our kids respond to us, but we can control how we respond to them.

And in some seasons of our life, that's all that God is really asking us to do.

So let's be the kind of people who put our kids at ease rather than on edge.

The next group of people that Paul talks to is bondservants.

Um, in this context, a bondservant refers to somebody who is usually in debt, they've hit some type of financial hardship, um, they're maybe going bankrupt, and they pledge themselves to a wealthier person who is called a patron who would pay their debt for them in agreement that they would work for them for a specific number of years, doing specific tasks, right?

There were no food stamps, there were no social programs, there was no government assistance.

If you were in danger of financial debt, you had no options.

And so your best option was to go to somebody who is wealthy and say, hey, if you pay my debt, I'll work for you for a certain number of number of years.

And so there was an exchange that took place.

I pay your debt, you work for me.

Once your debt is paid off, then you can go free.

Uh the closest thing that we have to this in our day and time is what we call like service-based student loan forgiveness programs.

I see this with nurses, you see this with teachers, you see this with uh the military sometimes, where it's like the government will agree to pay for you to go to school and pay for all of your debt, but then you belong to them like five or six years.

Where I went to school in Northwest Missouri State, it was really, really common for teachers to enter these kinds of agreements where the institution would say, Hey, you can go to school for free, but you gotta kind of stay in a rural community for the next five years, otherwise you have to pay all of that money back.

Um, and what often ended up happening was you would agree to go through that program and then you'd work in the worst possible situation and the worst conditions because nobody else wanted those jobs.

So you had to take them out of obligation to the person or the organization that paid them off for you.

And that's the kind of relationship that Paul is describing here between bond servants and masters.

This kind of agreement where it's a service-based repayment of a debt that was paid off.

For most of us, we're probably not falling into that category.

So the best way to think about that in a modern equivalent is just an employee to employer relationship.

And if you look at this particular section, in verse 22, he basically says to employees, you should serve readily, doing whatever tasks you're assigned, not just the ones that you want.

You're obeying your master in everything, not just in some things.

The other thing that Paul says to those who would find themselves in an employee type relationship is that you should serve sincerely.

You're actually doing your job well, not just pretending to do your job when the boss happens to walk by.

With sincerity of heart.

A third thing he says is that you should serve heartily.

Verse 23, you're doing your very best all the time because it's the right thing to do, not just because you have an employer who does or does not treat you well.

He's doing the right thing, not the easy thing.

Doing the best thing, not the self-preferential thing.

But then not only does Paul kind of give these three instructions to those who are employees, he also gives three reasons why they should obey in this way.

The first one is he basically says, God is your ultimate boss.

Or is what we say in our house.

We have the little boss and the big boss.

I'm the little boss, Jesus is the big boss.

And in this context, Paul is saying to those who are employees, hey, your boss, your supervisor, your manager, whoever that is, they're the little boss.

The big boss is Jesus, and you ultimately work for him and his glory and his honor and his recognition, regardless of how your current boss is actually treating you.

The second thing that Paul says is that you should work uh readily, sincerely, and heartily because God will reward you in verse 24.

It says, even if your company does not reward you tangibly, God is rewarding you with an eternal inheritance that can never be taken away.

The third thing that Paul says is that God will not let abusive bosses go unpunished.

They have a master in heaven, and every wrong will be uncovered, and every wrong will be dealt with.

No one at the end of the day is gonna get away with abusing their authority, especially towards those who are entrusted to them as employees.

So, all of that to say, if you're an employee, you should work hard in all that you do, because you're working for Jesus and not for your direct report.

And then Paul turns his attention finally to masters.

He says in verse one, Masters, treat your bondservants justly and fairly, knowing that you have a master in heaven.

That's Paul's nice way of saying, hey, supervisors and owners and CEOs, don't get too big for your britches.

At the end of the day, whether you're a C A E O or a C F O or a C O O or a doctor or a business owner, you are still just the little boss.

Jesus is the big boss over you just as he's the big boss over your employees.

And so you have a master, and that belongs to Jesus.

And so you should treat them the same way that your boss in heaven treats you with fairness and justice and equity.

That could look like a lot of thanks.

Maybe it means paying a fair wage, maybe it means having generous benefits, reasonable hours, or perhaps treating them with dignity and respect, even if they're a difficult employee, or they're only employed hourly.

I mean, whatever it is, it's gonna look different from person to person and company to company.

But the idea is that supervisors should treat their direct reports well because Jesus has treated us well.

Right?

Now I realize that that was a lot.

It's a lot to take in from this particular passage, but there's one more thing I want you to see, and that's the purpose of our relationships.

And if you stick with me, I think it's gonna be a worshipful opportunity for you.

So let's look at the purpose of our relationships.

Throughout this section, there are two words that Paul repeats nearly in every verse.

They're just two words, but they're the most important two words in the entire passage.

In verse 18, Paul says, Wives, submit to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord.

Verse 20, children, obey your parents, for this pleases the Lord.

Verse 22, bondservants, work sincerely, fearing the Lord.

Because verse 22, from the Lord you will receive the inheritance.

And verse 24, you are serving the Lord Christ.

And then finally, verse 1, masters have a master, that's also the word for Lord, in heaven.

So throughout this passage, Paul repeatedly connects authority and submission to the Lord.

And what he's trying to get at is that the purpose of our relationships, both in our authority and in our submission, is to glorify Jesus in the way that we relate to each other.

And I want you to think about that with me for just a moment.

You see, Jesus is a man in authority.

Throughout his earthly ministry, we see that Jesus demonstrates again and again that he has authority over things like nature and demons, sin and disease, and even over death.

And in Matthew chapter 28, he even says, All authority in heaven and on earth have been given unto me.

Matthew 28 · chapter mention

And Jesus could have used his authority to exploit humanity and exalt himself, but he doesn't.

Instead, Jesus uses his authority to empty himself and exalt humanity, ultimately by humbling himself to the point of death on a cross.

But you see, Jesus wasn't just a man in authority, he's also a man under authority.

During his earthly ministry, Jesus repeatedly and emphatically said that he came not to do his own will, but to do his father's will.

And the night before his death, he bows before the Father in the Garden of Gethsemane, and he pleads with the Father to take the cup of wrath away so that there could be a different way than the cross.

And then at the end of his prayer, Jesus utters what might be the most important words in All of human history says, But not my will, but yours be done.

And with those words, Jesus humbled himself to the Father's will, submitting to his authority and going to the cross, where he laid down his life for us.

And so here's what that means the Lord of heaven and earth used his authority for your good at the cost of his own life.

So when you find yourself in authority over others, your leadership should be characterized by the same kind of self-sacrificing love that the Lord has for you.

And in the same way, the Lord of life submitted himself to the authority of the Father, giving himself up for us on the cross.

And so when you find yourself under the authority of other people, whether it's in home or in life, we have to remember that authority and submission are always in relationship to Jesus, submitting to others as Jesus submitted himself to the Father for us.

In all of our talk about authority and submission, we must never forget that Jesus is the ultimate authority.

And at the end of the day, our roles are assigned by him.

Our roles are ultimately accountable to him.

And our roles are ultimately about him.

Because the purpose of our relationships in both authority and submission is to glorify Jesus in the way that we relate to one another.

Harbor, to be a Christian is to live your entire life under the Lordship of Jesus Christ.

And that should change the way that we do relationships, whether we're in authority or under authority.

We should follow with willing submission and we should lead with loving sacrifice, because that is how our Lord relates to us.

So this in mind, may we be a people who do relationships to the glory of God and submission to the Lordship of Christ.

Let's pray.

Father, we thank you for this passage.

I recognize, Father, that this is a hard passage to read through.

But I hope this morning that we've begun to see the beauty of your design for relationships.

Lord, whether we're in authority or under authority, I pray that we would be a people who connect our relationships to the Lordship of Jesus Christ.

Help us, Lord, to be the kind of people who use our authority for the good of other people, lovingly sacrificing ourselves for those we've been entrusted to lead.

And when we find ourselves, Lord, under authority, may we be people who willingly submit to those who lead us, as Jesus willingly submitted himself to the Father.

I pray, Holy Spirit, now that you would redeem and renew and liberate and transform.

We need your grace to receive this word and to apply it to our daily lives.

So would you be gracious to us now as we enter into the Lord's Supper and give us your grace as we respond to your word.

In Jesus' name, Amen.