How to Forgive Someone Who Doesn't Deserve It

Well, 242, good morning.

How are you doing?

Awesome.

Well, hey, if you're at Monroe or Saginaw or you're joining us online, we just want to say welcome.

We're so glad that you're here.

If you're here in the room at Brighton, welcome.

Man, it's I just I love getting to worship with you.

Uh, if I've never met you, my name is Dom.

I'm one of the pastors here at 242, and I'm super excited to be with you this morning.

Um, with me on the stage, I I brought a folder with me.

At least I think that's what this thing is called.

Um, and inside of this folder, it's it's a large folder, but inside of this folder, um, it tells the story of a little girl.

Uh, she's eight years old, and it tells it tells a lot of her story.

It's act well, it's actually, to be honest, it's just a snapshot of her story.

And in inside of this folder, it's it's not the good parts of her story, it's actually every single bad part of her story.

Um, inside of this folder, there's names and there's dates, and there's there's 11 different homes that that show up in this folder, and there's there's names of people who have hurt this little girl.

And this little girl has experienced every form of abuse, neglect, uh being passed along like she doesn't matter, um, that you could ever think of.

And if we're being honest, this this all most of this folder, actually, all of this folder took place before the age of five years old.

So that means that this massive folder of all these bad things, it it's not even like it's not even a full eight years of living that's it's taken to experience this.

It's been five years.

And this little girl is actually, I get the honor to call this little girl my daughter.

Um and I and I remember the day that this folder was dropped off at our house by the foster care system.

And they said, here you go.

And they set it on our, they set it on our our counter and they said, This is the story of your daughter.

This is everything that's ever happened to her.

This is why she has the scars on her body that she has on her body.

This is this is all that there is that we actually know of and can prove.

And I think of this folder constantly.

And and this morning we're in a we're in a series called Who Needs God?

And today we're gonna look at a story of someone who needed God.

And as we unpack this story, what we're gonna look at is we're gonna find that that multiple people in the story needed God.

And this morning I wonder if I had a folder on the stage of your story, of all the hardships that you faced, of all the bad moments that you've experienced, of all the hurt that's been done to you or that you've experienced, what would your folder look like?

What would be in your folder?

Who are the names, the places, the things that would show up in this folder?

Today, as we talk about who needs God, we're gonna look at a story of a guy named David.

And now my guess is most of you, whether it's your first time in church or you've been coming for years, you've probably actually heard of this guy named David, because even sports refer to David because you you get those those big matchups on the weekend when you're watching football, and they're like, this is a David versus Goliath matchup.

It's because David is a guy that that he has a ton of highlights.

Like, if you look at David's highlight reel, it's one of the greatest in scripture.

I mean, this guy, like, if you look at his entire life, you see that from the the time that he was a young boy, he was a shepherd and he was courageous and he would fight off animals to keep his flock of sheep safe.

And then and then you see that David was the youngest of his family, and he was actually anointed to be king over all of his brothers.

And we see moments like this, and then and then we see David show up to a battlefield, and he was just there to deliver lunch, and then when everybody else was afraid to go fight this giant named Goliath, David showed up and he walked out onto that battlefield grabbing a slingshot and three stones, and then it only took him one stone to take Goliath down.

And then we see moments where where David is on the run from a guy named Saul, and even as David's on the run, he he has this moment where he finds Saul sleeping in a cave, and he has he has the full opportunity to kill Saul and to take what's been given to him and what's been said that he would inherit, which is the throne.

And rather than doing that because David chose to be patient and he chose to wait, he waited for God's time, and so he didn't kill Saul.

We see moments in scripture where David was a good friend, and consistently what we see take place is that David did some incredible things.

In fact, if you look at your Bible in Acts 13, verse 22, we actually see this is how God talked about David.

Acts 13:22

It says, after removing Saul, he made David their king.

God testified concerning him.

I have found David, son of Jesse, a man after my own heart.

He will do everything I want him to do.

This is a guy who has an incredible highlight reel.

To the point where he's recorded in scripture as God saying, like, this guy, he's a man after my heart.

He'll do anything I want.

But here's the issue with David's story.

And here's the issue with a highlight reel is if you look at a highlight reel, what does a highlight reel do?

It only actually tells you 50% of the story.

It only tells you half of the truth because a highlight is the highlights of someone's life.

And the reality is that for as many highlights as David had, David had just about as many lowlights as well.

He had about just as many moments where he failed and where he wandered and where he wasn't close to God and he didn't trust God and where he actually did some wrong.

And today we're gonna look at a story of David's that isn't one he would be proud of.

It's a story of him going on a journey, and what we see is that he actually hurts people consistently throughout the story that we'll read.

And so today we're gonna be in 2 Samuel 11, and we're gonna read about 17 verses right away.

But um what you're gonna find is that David, this isn't a moment that David would have found in his highlight reel.

It's a moment that you wouldn't let on the highlight reel.

It's a moment that you wouldn't be excited to share, and here's what it says starting in chapter 11, in verse 1, it says, In the spring, at the time when the kings go off to war, David sent Joab out with the king's men in the whole Israelite army.

They destroyed the Ammonites and besieged Raba.

But David remained in Jerusalem.

Right away, we have to stop here, and I just want to make it really clear.

Do you see what takes place here?

This is the moment where everybody's off at war, and it says some key words.

It says, This is the time when the kings would go off to war.

But what does David do?

He stays back.

And so this is the first moment where we see in this journey where David makes a questionable decision.

The first moment where he chooses to stay back at a time when he would have been used to going, and no one holds him accountable.

No one says, David, you still need to come, he just stays back.

And then it continues.

One evening David got up from his bed and he walked around on the roof of the palace.

From the roof he saw a woman bathing.

The woman was very beautiful, and David sent someone to find out about her.

The man said, She is Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite.

Then David sent messengers to get her.

She came to him and he slept with her.

Now she was purifying herself from her monthly uncleanness.

Then she went back home.

The woman conceived and sent word to David, saying, I am pregnant.

So this is another moment as we read this story of what David is choosing to do.

He stays back from the war, and now he's out on the palace rooftop and he's looking around and he sees a woman that isn't one of his wives.

And what does he do?

It piques his interest.

And so then he says, he sends his men to go, hey, go ask questions about this woman.

And when they do that, they come back and they report, this is actually the wife of someone that's off at war for you.

She's a married woman, and David says, I don't care.

And so he has them go get her, and they bring her to him, and he sleeps with her, getting her pregnant.

And then it continues, it says, So David sent this word to Joab, send me Uriah the Hittite.

And David sent him to and Joab sent him to David.

When Uriah came to him, David asked him how Joab was, how the soldiers were, and how the war was going.

Then David said to Uriah, Go down to your house and wash your feet.

So Uriah left the palace, and a gift from the king was sent after him.

But Uriah slept at the entrance to the palace with all of his master's servants, and he did not go down to his house.

David was told, Uriah did not go home.

So he asked Uriah, Haven't you just come from a military campaign?

Why didn't you go home?

And Uriah said to David, The Ark in Israel and Judah are staying in tents, and my commander Joab and my Lord's manor are camped in the open country.

How could I go to eat and drink and make love to my wife?

As surely as you live, I will not do such a thing.

So what's taking place here is David finds out Bathsheba's pregnant.

David calls Uriah back from the war, and what is he doing?

He's trying to cover up the thing that he did.

He has this idea that if I get Uriah to come back, if I send him to his house, then surely he's gonna be exhausted from war.

Surely he's gonna want to go home and he's gonna want to spend time with his wife and he's gonna sleep with her, and then and then if that happens, well, then David's mistakes are covered because now the baby surely it belongs to Uriah.

But what Uriah does is Uriah in this moment chooses to be a man of character.

He chooses to say, no, if if my team is off away at war, there's no way that I would stay here and camp out in luxury when they're in tents and they're they're fending for their life.

And so he chooses to sleep with the servants rather than going home.

And David didn't get his way.

His plot to cover up his mistake didn't come true.

And then in verse 12 it continues, and it says, Then David said to him, Well, stay here one more day, and tomorrow I will send you back.

So Uriah remained in Jerusalem that day and the next.

At David's invitation, he ate and he drank with him, and David made him drunk.

But in the evening, Uriah went out to sleep on his mat among his servants, his master's servants.

He did not go home.

In the morning, David wrote a letter to Joab and sent it with Uriah.

In it he wrote, Put Uriah out in front where the fighting is the fiercest.

Then withdraw from him, so he will be struck down and die.

So while Joab had the city under siege, he put Uriah at a place where he knew the strongest defenders were.

When the men of the city came out and fought against Joab, some of the men in David's army fell.

Moreover, Uriah the Hittite died.

Do you see what's taking place here?

David has said, I've made a mistake.

His first mistake was staying home from the war and choosing not to go with his army.

His second mistake was that he saw someone he lusted after her, and then he sent someone to go do something about it to bring her back to him so that he could sleep with her.

And now he is so covered in mistakes that he's going, How do I cover this up?

What can I do to make sure the truth doesn't come out about me?

And so what he does is he says, Fine, Uriah, if you won't do the easy thing, if you won't go sleep with your wife, then what I'm gonna do is I'm actually gonna send you back with a letter, and what's gonna take place is you're gonna die on the battlefield.

And so David writes off on the murder of Uriah.

And now we have this moment where we have to wrestle with how does a guy like this, how does a God like this get get recorded in scripture as a man after God's own heart?

Because surely, surely, if you went and you could ask Bathsheba or Uriah or even Eliam, who's the dad of Bathsheba, I don't think that they would be saying David is a man after God's own heart.

I think if they were being honest, they would say, no, that's that's a guy who he's in my folder of hurt.

He's all over it.

Look at what he's done, look at how he's wronged my family.

And it gets to the point where David is so convinced that he's going to cover this up.

That he actually goes and and and he's he's by himself, and this guy named Nathan appears to him.

And Nathan shows up and starts to have a conversation with David.

And Nathan begins to tell a story.

And in Nathan's story, he's he's laying out for David that there's a rich guy in the city and there's a poor man in the city as well.

And as he tells the story, he says that the rich man had a visitor coming into town, and and the rich man had everything.

But the poor man, all that he had was, scripture says he had an ew lamb.

He had one single lamb that it that was like a daughter to him, it was like a child to him.

He took care of this lamb, it was precious to him.

It was the one thing that more than anything else he valued.

But because the king had someone coming to town, rather than giving one of his lambs to share in a meal, what does the king do?

The king goes to the poor man and takes the one thing that the poor man has from him.

And as Nathan is telling David this story, what happens is David gets mad.

David gets he gets outraged.

In fact, David he he starts to yell at this that this guy, he goes, Man, I this guy should be put to death for what he's done.

He's taken something that did not belong to him.

How is he still alive?

But then look at what scripture says because it because then a chapter later in the story, in verse 7, it says, Then Nathan said to David, You are the man.

David is so far entangled in sin and making mistake after mistake and compromise after compromise that as Nathan is telling David this story, David can't even see himself in the story.

And what I love about this conversation that's taking place is what Nathan is doing in this moment is Nathan is telling David a story about his life.

In other words, what Nathan is doing is Nathan's holding up a mirror for David to look in and to reflect on the man that he's become, on the things that he's been doing.

And when I think of this opportunity that David has in this moment, he has the opportunity to come to get real, to come before God and to repent.

But he has to actually look in this mirror and understand that he is the man in the story.

He is the one that had it all and chose to take something that wasn't his.

And he does.

He looks in that mirror and he chooses to repent.

And so Nathan helps David walk this journey of repentance.

And if I'm being honest, when we read this story of David, when we look at this moment in his life, I actually think that this moment in Scripture is an opportunity for us to do the same.

I think if we're being honest, this moment in David's life is an opportunity for us to hold Scripture up to our lives and to allow it to be a mirror, to allow us to ask questions about who are we in this story?

What are we doing?

Like, like what are the things that we're doing wrong that we need to be called out about?

And so the question is this morning, are you going to let Scripture be a mirror for your life to reflect and to see, man, am I the person that I want to be remembered as?

Am I being and becoming the man of God or the woman of God that I want to be?

And here's the reality in this moment, in this story, it's really easy for us to look at scripture and to go, well, I'm Bathsheba.

Or I'm Uriah.

Because they because they seemingly didn't do anything wrong.

Because they were taken advantage of, because they were hurt.

And so it's easy to look at a story like this and to go, well, I've been hurt.

And so clearly I'm Uriah, or clearly I'm Bathsheba in this moment.

And maybe that's true for what you're walking through this morning.

Maybe you have been hurt.

And maybe you do relate to those people in the story, but what I want us to be really careful about is that we would understand that for every moment that we are Uriah or that we are Bathsheba, there's also other moments in our lives where we find ourselves being just like David in this moment.

Because what I know to be true about my life is that no matter how many moments I feel like I'm I'm a man after God and I'm doing good and I'm I'm making strides to look more and more like Jesus every day.

I also find that there's moments where I have to be real with myself and I have to admit that I have fallen short.

That I'm the sinner, that I'm the one that's doing the hurting.

And here's the thing: what you can't do is you can't just justify, well, well, I'm not David because I didn't do something that bad or I didn't cover it up that much, because the reality is that we all find ourselves being the David in this story at some point.

Just because what you've done to hurt someone else, you can justify or say that it was smaller than what David done, you still have hurt people.

You still are a sinner, you still are someone that's in need of saving.

How do I know this?

I know this because Scripture says it.

Because Romans 3.23, if we look at what scripture says, it says, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

And so I know that for every moment that we want to be the hero or the victim in a story, for every moment that we want to be the person that's never done anything wrong, we have to also come to the realization that you and I are broken, that you and I are sinners.

Just because my sins don't look like someone else's sins doesn't make me better, it doesn't make me greater, it doesn't make me less in need of a savior.

And so the question we've been asking all series long is who needs God?

And this morning the reality is that the sinner needs God, the sinners need God, and in case you're still not getting it, let me be really clear.

I am the sinner.

You are the sinner.

Each and every one of us was born into a broken world.

We were born into a world where we get to see evil on full display, where we get to see the hurts that show up in this folder on full display.

And even if we're not one of the people that contributed to that person's folder, we still contribute to other people's folders because we're broken.

Because for every moment that we find ourselves pursuing Jesus and choosing to make the right decisions, we also find ourselves in moments of selfishness, in moments of pride, in moments of anger, in moments of bitterness.

And so we have to come to the conclusion in the realization that we are all in need of God.

And the incredible thing about David's story is that 3,000 years removed from when this story was being written and talked about, we can look at scripture and we can see that God remembers David as a man after his own heart.

And so if you're in this room and you've hurt people, you're at one of our campuses and you've done something to hurt someone, and you feel like, man, I'm too far gone.

Like I see how some people could deserve God, but but I could never deserve God because you don't understand, like, Dom, you don't understand what I've done or how how far I've gone or how far I've run from Jesus.

I don't deserve Him.

In fact, maybe if we're being honest, maybe one of you is at home right now, and in the reason that you're watching from online is because you're going, I don't deserve to walk into a building with people.

Who are worshiping God?

I'd be judged, I'd be condemned.

I'm not good enough to go to a place to worship.

And let me tell you, that's a lie from the enemy.

We want to see you here.

We want to see you in these spaces because you don't deserve God.

But guess what?

God said, I don't care.

I'm going to do something about this sin issue.

And so what God did is when sin entered the world, he said, someone has to pay for the sins of this world.

And so God sent his son Jesus to walk a perfect and blameless life.

To at every turn where he was tempted to choose to follow in the footsteps of his father and choose not to turn to sin.

And what happened in Jesus' life, the world turned their back on him, and the world said, We don't care if you might be the savior of the world, we are going to put you to death.

And so they hung Jesus 2,000 years ago on a cross.

And Jesus hanging on that cross, his body being broken, his blood being poured out, it was for you.

It was for your sins.

It was for the things you've already done, the things you will done, will do, and you now have an opportunity in this room.

If you're someone who walked in here feeling like you'll never be good enough for a God to care about you, well, he's already proven his love to you by sending his son Jesus to die a death that he didn't deserve.

So the question is, are you going to receive it?

Are you going to choose to receive the forgiveness that's been offered to you?

You don't have to have it all figured out.

You don't have to have your life cleaned up before you come to God.

You just simply have to receive the fact that he sent his son to die for you.

To believe it in your heart and to profess it with your mouth that he is the savior of the world.

So if you've never done that, I would ask you, would you, would you do that this morning?

Because we are all in need of a savior.

And no matter how far you think you've gone, no matter how broken you think you are, there is a God who loves you.

He sees you, he died for you by name.

And so repent and be forgiven.

But here's the issue with all of this.

And here's the moment where I think this actually gets really hard.

It's a lot easier to receive forgiveness than it is to extend forgiveness.

But the reality is this, church, if we're going to be a church that receives forgiveness, we have to also become a church that extends forgiveness.

Time and time again, all throughout Scripture, you can see this word and this idea of forgiveness talked about and encouraged, and not even just encouraged, but actually commanded that followers of Jesus would understand that they've been forgiven for much, and so they ought to forgive for much as well.

This isn't just something I'm saying.

Scripture says it time and time again.

Matthew, in Matthew 5, verses 44 through 45, we see this.

Matthew 5:44–45

Jesus says Himself, but I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven.

We aren't called just to receive forgiveness, we're called to extend it as well.

And let me be real with you for a moment.

If you're in this room and you walked in here feeling like Dom, you don't know how large my folder is.

You don't know the things that have been done to me, you don't know the hurts that I've experienced.

I get it, I don't know them.

But I do know that we worship a God who says to forgive and a God who chose to forgive us.

And so can I just be real for a moment?

When I look at this folder, when I look at scripture, and then I look at this folder and I know the things that are in this folder.

I know what this folder says, I know the abuse and the hurt.

I I know what's been done to my daughter.

I know the people by name who have hurt her.

I know the people that have chosen to not even treat her like she's a human.

I know the homes that she's been in, I've seen pictures of them.

I've seen the things that she's walked through.

And if I can be completely honest, I wish I could stand up here and tell you that the dames that are in this folder, that they would never receive God.

Because if I listen to the flesh, let me be real with you, I'm angry.

I hurt.

Because I'm the one that has to walk through this with a little girl who's in therapy after therapy and has moment after moment where these people have ruined her life.

And so I want to be able to stand up here and tell you that they don't deserve God, and the truth is they don't.

But the truth that goes right alongside of that is that I don't deserve God either.

You don't deserve God either.

But we worship a God who's bigger than all of this.

And he said, even though there's nothing you could do to earn my love, there's nothing you could do to deserve it or to make it all right, he said, I am going to pay the price for you, and he sent Jesus to die for you.

And so the reality is this is that we have some really hard conversations in our house about this folder.

We have some moments where our eight-year-old fully knows what's been done to her and the hurts she's experienced.

And there's moments where we have to look her in the eyes and we have to say, you don't ever have to be in relationship with these people again.

You don't ever have to have a conversation with these people again, but you do have to work towards forgiving them.

I have to work towards forgiving them.

Why?

Not because it's easy, not because I want to, but because we worship a God who forgave us when we didn't deserve it.

And so we have to do the same, church.

We have to not just receive forgiveness, we have to actually extend forgiveness as well.

And so, church, if you're in this room or you're online or you're at one of our other campuses, Monroe or Saginaw, and you've never actually received forgiveness, then your next step today is to receive it for the very first time.

To come before God and to go, I'm in need of a savior, and I believe that Jesus paid it all for me.

And so to just receive that forgiveness, you don't have to live in guilt or shame any longer because you are not defined by your mistakes.

Look at David's story.

He was not defined by his mistakes, but he was defined by what was in his heart.

He was defined by the fact that he would repent and he came before God and said, I'm in need of a savior.

And so it's not too late.

You can still be remembered as a man or a woman after God's own heart.

But the question is up to you.

Are you going to choose to receive that forgiveness?

And church, if you're in this room and you already know that truth, you already know that you've received that forgiveness, that eternity is set out for you, that you get to one day sit at the feet of our Savior and worship him day after day, crying, Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty.

If you already know that truth, then your next step this morning isn't to just have received it for yourself, it's to actually extend forgiveness to other people in your life.

And listen, I know it's not going to be easy.

But what I also know is that when we don't extend forgiveness, what what that bitterness, what that resentment, what that anger does is it actually doesn't hurt the person we're not giving forgiveness to.

It hurts us more than it hurts them.

And so, what would it look like for you this morning to step into forgiving them, no matter how hard it is?

To come to the realization that Jesus paid it all for you.

And so now if you walk in his footsteps, you would forgive others as well.

It does not mean you put yourself back into a relationship.

This does not mean reconciliation.

It simply means that you forgive.

That you say, my debt's been paid, you're off the hook.

It doesn't mean that consequences don't come, it doesn't mean any of that.

It simply means that you're going, I'm gonna walk in the footsteps of Jesus, I'm gonna pursue healing.

And what that looks like in my life is it looks like forgiveness.

So, what does it look like for us to be a church that doesn't just receive forgiveness but that extends forgiveness as well?

Who needs God?

The sinner needs God, which means that you need God, which means that I need God, which means that every single one of us needs God.

Let's pray.

God, thank you.

I thank you that you're a God that you didn't leave us where you found us.

You didn't just put up with sin and say, it is what it is, but you actually said, I'm gonna I'm gonna do something about this sin problem.

So, God, we thank you for sending Jesus and for the person that's in this room that they've yet to receive you.

Would you stir something up in their heart?

Would you give them the courage to make this decision for the first time this morning, to receive the forgiveness that you're waiting to give them?

And God, for those of us that understand that truth, but but we're holding on to bitterness, we're holding on to anger, would you give us the strength, the courage to step into forgiving the people around us?

Walking in the ways that you walked, God.

God, we thank you for who you are.

It's in your name we pray.

Amen.