Children & Parents

Good morning.

Today's reading is from Ephesians chapter six, verses one to four.

It says, Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

Honor your father and mother.

This is the first commandment with a promise, that it may go well with you, and that you may live long in the land.

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

This is the word of the Lord.

Please be seated.

Thanks for joining us this morning.

My name is James Rath, and I'm the pastor here at Redemption Church Denver.

We've got a special service today because it's a family service.

So no redemption kids.

So all the kids get to be in here with us.

So we're in our last Sunday in Ephesians.

This isn't the closing section of Ephesians, but it's a section that we skipped over earlier.

Looking forward to this Sunday because it's a section that directly addresses children, which means it's a good idea to have some children in the room.

So we waited until today.

So kids, raise your hand if you're a kid.

Kid, kid, kid, Matthew, you're kind of a kid.

Leon, you're not a really kid anymore.

Kid, yeah, there we go.

Kids, kids, and perfect.

Well, we're really glad you guys are in here with us.

And today's sermon is like mostly towards you guys.

So, kids, listen up, this one's for you, okay?

Got a couple announcements before we get started.

Uh, first, announcements concerning the kids.

Um, uh, we've got popsicles for you after the service.

So look forward to popsicles.

If you're an adult, no popsicles.

We've got popsicles for the kids.

Um, next Sunday, right after the service, if you're a volunteer in Redemption Kids, uh, we want to celebrate you a little bit.

So we're buying you donuts.

So after the service, if you're a volunteer for Redemption Kids, there'll be like donuts and coffee and a time to hang out and mingle and stuff right after church next Sunday.

Um September 23rd, we're hosting a men's night at the Kushnerov's house.

Uh there in Arvada.

Lovely home to come and hang out.

Uh so uh, men, if you're a man and you would like to have a night, you we have one of those for you.

It's coming up.

Um uh bring your own everything.

Uh there'll be like some appetizers and stuff.

Uh if you've got like half a bottle of whiskey in your home, bring it.

We'll turn it into an empty bottle of whiskey uh and enjoy each other's company.

So September 23rd, uh sign up in the app, then we can know how many people are coming and how many apps to get.

Um September 26th, that following Sunday, we are having baptism.

So if you or someone you know uh would like to be baptized, please sign up and we'll follow up with you.

If you recently had a uh a child or a baby who is new in your family and hasn't been baptized, uh we welcome you to that opportunity as well.

Uh so that is on September 26th, if you would uh like to.

Yeah, that's coming up.

So sign up for that in the app as well.

And finally, October 3rd, welcome team volunteer training.

So if you are on the welcome team, uh or if you would like to be on the welcome team, uh, there will be a training for welcoming different handshake, you know, things and approaches and opening lines and things.

Hello, how are how are you?

You'll practice, you'll be able to nail that one by the end of the training.

Uh that will be October 3rd, right after the service, right?

Yeah, so just stick around.

So you can sign up for that uh in the app as well under calendar.

Okay, let's pray.

And then, kids, the sermon's for you.

Ready?

Let's pray.

Father, we thank you for bringing us together.

Thank you for uh getting to join in worship of you, Lord.

That last song is so humbling that you are uh glorious uh beyond measure, and yet you kneel to be with us, Lord, that you the the heavens are your throne, the earth is your footstool, and you make your dwelling with the lowly and contrite in heart.

Lord, uh as we uh grow to understand you more, we pray that that would shape our homes and shape our hearts for this uh this primary relationship that we all have as children uh towards our parents and as parents towards our children.

Lord, would you let that relationship be shaped and transformed by your gospel and give us your insight for that this morning?

Lift us up in Jesus' name, amen.

Okay, so as I said, uh the sermon text that we're looking at today, we skipped over earlier and we're revisiting it, and this is uh really for kids, except for the last part, which is for parents.

Um the first thing that uh you kids should know is that Jesus is for you.

Paul isn't waiting for you to come to Jesus until you get any older.

He's not thinking that Christianity is something that you'll grow into, or he's not even thinking, and this is kind of a narrative in our culture, you'll you'll outgrow your parents' faith and you'll make it your own later.

It's gonna be made your own now.

Even as a kid, Jesus desires you to come to him.

Now, we know this is the case explicitly because the gospel writers, in all the events that they chose to record of Jesus' life, of all the countless things that happened, John said that there would not be enough books in the whole world to contain all that happened in Jesus' life.

And so they selected these sort of greatest hits of stories to tell about Jesus for their gospels.

And one of the stories that they tell is of a time when Jesus was teaching and children were desiring to come up to Jesus and to be with him and just to spend time with him.

And the disciples were getting in the way.

They were saying, No, guys, come on, get control of your kids.

Uh, we're trying to have a service here.

And Jesus rebukes the disciples.

In Matthew 19, verses 14-15, he says this, but Jesus said, Let the little children come to me.

Matthew 19:14–15

Don't hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.

And he laid his hands on them and went away.

So Jesus desires you, as little children, to come to him.

This is a desire of Jesus' heart.

And why?

It's because there's something about you as children that we us adults need to learn from and remember.

There's a spirit of childhood that shows us what type of character it is that receives the kingdom of heaven.

And so we need to see you, children, come to Jesus.

So, your job as a kid, the thing that you need to do more than anything else, the most important part of your life, the number one thing you could ever do as a kid, is come to Jesus.

It's the most important thing is come to Jesus.

Jonathan Edwards wrote this sermon that I read about in a book, uh, where he was speaking about he wrote a sermon directly to the children in his church.

And his the sermon had one point, and the point was: children, your job is to love Jesus more than you love anything else in the whole world, because Jesus is the most beautiful thing in the whole world.

So that's your highest calling.

Children, your highest calling is to love Jesus.

Now, how do you do that?

Well, Paul gives us that instruction in this letter, and he speaks directly to you as children, and it calls you to love Jesus, and he tells us exactly how to do that.

And the good news is that your parents help.

So don't worry, your parents have to help.

So you can hold them to it.

Are you ready?

Here's how you come to Jesus.

You ready for this one?

Ephesians 6, verse 1.

Ephesians 6:1

It says, Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

So, how do you do it?

What's a great way to come to Jesus?

Zach left his capo up here, and I'm gonna fidget with it the whole time if I don't put it away.

What you can do is obey.

Obey your parents.

That's how you come to Jesus.

Matthew, you're looking at me like this is all a trap.

Obey your parents.

When they tell you to turn the TV off, turn it off.

When they ask you to set the table, set the table.

When they ask you to help clean the table, clean the table.

When they ask you to put your shoes on, put your shoes on.

When they ask you to stop hitting your siblings, stop hitting your siblings.

Obey your parents.

This is one of the key ways that you in your heart as a child can actually come to Jesus.

Now, I I this probably does, Matthew, sound like a trap, like you're just you've all been tricked.

You know, come to Jesus.

How do you do that?

Obey your parents.

This is the trick.

You have to obey your parents.

But this isn't a trick.

This isn't a trap.

It's more like a treasure.

It's more like a secret that you could discover for how to have a wonderful life, for how to have a life that's glorious and full of joy.

This is like a trick for that.

It's a secret that you can be shown.

It's almost like hearing that you are called to obey your parents.

It's almost like discovering a map to hidden treasure.

You think, okay, I'm gonna follow this map because I really want to discover the treasure.

Well, the instructions on the map are obey your parents.

But you don't just obey them kind of randomly, you obey them in the Lord.

What does that mean?

Well, consider this.

Obeying Jesus has a particular shape.

We don't obey Jesus in order to win him over to our side.

We obey Jesus because we know that he is on our side.

We don't obey Jesus in order to get him off our back.

We obey Jesus because we trust the depth of his love towards us.

Now, your parents, when they're asking you to obey, they're not trying to make your life miserable.

They love you.

They desire for your life to be wonderful and joyful and full of just countless delights.

And so you are obeying them because you trust the depth of their love towards you.

Not so that you can get it.

Now, your parents really love you.

They really love you.

But your parents' love towards you is nothing compared to Jesus' love towards you.

Nothing.

But Jesus gave you your parents so that you can get this taste, this little hint, this little pointer towards the love that he has for you.

And learn how to obey, not in order to win your parents over, but how to obey because you trust them.

And you trust that they love you, that they desire goodness for you.

That's what it means to obey in the Lord.

Now, here's why obeying your parents is like a treasure map.

It's because it's connected with this promise.

Paul continues on, and here's the promise that here's what you get when you obey your parents.

You ready for this?

Honor your father and mother.

This is the first commandment with a promise that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.

Okay, so you know when you get a box of Legos?

Great.

The thing that made you want the Legos was the picture on the box.

If it was just if it was just like a picture of a just like a mess of Legos on the floor, which is when you open the box, that's what's inside.

It's just a mess of Legos.

And if that was the picture on the cover, you'd think I don't, I'm not really interested in getting this.

I'll buy the one that's the race car or the pirate ship or the Millennium Falcon or something.

But the Ten Commandments, the way that God gives us His commands, and this one in particular, He puts the picture right on the box.

And in order to receive that picture, he's saying, you need to follow the instructions that I've also included in the box.

When you follow the instructions, you get to receive this glorious thing, which is the shape on the front of the box.

It's the race car or the dream house.

Now, honoring your mother and father is the is one of the instructions that God has given to us so that we might learn how to receive the picture on the front of the box.

Now, the picture on the front of the box that the Lord uh promises is this that it will go well with you and that you may live long in the land.

So he's saying, if you obey your mother and father, life will be good.

Paul actually, it's translated land here, but Paul actually shifts it in the Greek and says that you may live long in the earth, because he sees that the Christian promise has expanded beyond the promise of a territory on the Mediterranean, but instead has expanded into this glorious promise that's over the whole world.

And the promise is long life and prosperity.

Now, look, it's nerve-wracking.

You know, a lot of times we want to hedge promises like that.

We can all think of counterexamples, of course.

But as it as a principle, the promise is that honoring your mother and father is the pathway towards a joyful and full life.

So God pairs this with this promise.

How do you have a joyful and full life?

Well, here's a secret.

Here's the map to that treasure.

You can obey your parents.

And I bet you get opportunities to do that like every day.

So you can start practicing right now, knowing that in obeying your parents, you're actually seeking the Lord.

Now, parents, you're going to need to help.

And you're going to need to help your children for a number of reasons.

Reason number one is that uh they won't always obey.

Your children are a lot like you.

They won't always obey.

And when they obey, they will tend to obey in a way that tries to earn your affections rather than trust your affections.

This is the disposition of our heart.

And so you need to train your kids to help them understand an obedience that comes from a place of loving, trust, and joy, which means you need to cultivate being the type of person that is loving and trustworthy and joyful.

That way they might unhypocritically participate in that sort of thing.

And let's move, we'll go ahead and move in to the particular instruction that Paul gives.

He says in verse 4, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Okay, so that first part, it's immediately a prohibition.

Uh, and he's directed to fathers, but he's this is sort of a catch-all for parents generally.

But he wants to make clear that you're participating in the father heart of God.

It says, Well, this is just like a fun thing.

I read this this great analogy um in uh the first Narnia book, Magician's Nephew.

That's where he makes everything, right?

I think it's in that one.

Uh uh, or maybe it's in Lion Witch in the Wardrobe.

Anyway, there's this scene where Aslan is talking to another lion.

And Aslan uses this phrase, and he says, Uh, us lions are gonna walk from the front.

And the other lion goes, Did you hear what he said?

Us lions.

We're lions together.

He he we're both lions.

Like I'm just like Aslan.

That's exactly what God does to us when he calls himself a father.

And then when he talks to fathers as a father, saying, Us fathers, we don't provoke our children to anger.

And then it next, uh, Aslan was uh get or the other lion was getting a little cocky that he was gonna get to be in charge of some other animals.

And so he gave him like the most difficult animals to be in charge of to humble him.

Uh and so if you get a little cocky about being called a father along with God, then just you know take care of your kids.

And you will immediately discover what he's put in your life to humble you, but it's still a lovely thing uh to consider participating.

God says, us fathers.

So the first thing is a prohibition against provoking your children to anger.

So the shape of this book, of the letter to the Ephesians, has been showing how God takes this disparate group of people all over the world and makes them one family under him as the father.

And so we see the heart of God demonstrated throughout this whole book.

And this clear prohibition draws on the very character of who God calls himself to be.

Do not provoke your children to anger.

What does that mean?

Be a father like God is a father.

He is slow to anger, abounding in steadfast love.

How do you be a parent like that?

You allow your spirit to be parented by God like that.

Tweetable moment.

How do you be a parent like that to your children?

How do you be slow to anger, abounding in steadfast love?

You consider when God is engaging with me, he is being slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love to me.

You have to be shaped by that in your heart.

Then you can participate in the expression of that even towards your own children.

Now we see uh God is God is is not the type of God who well, here's a couple of examples.

A quick temper should not be mistaken for discipline.

Instead, what a quick temper demonstrates is that you are frustrated when you are violated.

Now that's not the same thing as sin.

We should be seeking to call our children to participate in grace and avoid sin.

Now, that's not the same thing as not be annoying to us and leave us alone, right?

Those are different things.

And consider the type well, I'll I'll get into this next.

Okay, so second, to not provoke our children to anger, the second thing that he instructs is two things really.

He says, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Two things that are of the Lord discipline and instruction.

Now you know what the picture of this is in scripture?

Discipline and instruction?

It's Eden.

Eden is the picture because discipline is a boundary.

Discipline is setting the proper boundaries for your children.

And in that boundary, this walled garden.

What are you creating?

A space of flourishing.

So the boundary is the discipline, the instruction is the flourishing.

And this is the way that God relates to us.

He creates a boundary and then he calls us to flourish within that boundary.

That is what you are called to as parents.

Some children experience a world where there's no boundary, which is like a garden with no wall.

And so enemies are constantly coming in.

They can't wake up and experience an environment that's supportive.

There's no abundance in it.

There's no freedom in it.

There's no ability to uh there's no ability to express the desires of their hearts in it because there's no boundary, there's no discipline.

Others receive no instruction.

And so they're surrounded by discipline and they know what not to do, but their spirit is stifled because they receive no instruction for the goodness of the Lord.

We are called to receive both.

Look at the proportion of Eden.

This is a good proportion for us to have in our minds as parents.

Eden is a garden of yeses.

Some of your homes are a nightmare to be in because it's a garden of no's with just a few yeses.

Eden is a garden of yeses with one clear no.

This is the proportion of God's heart.

Other homes are a disaster to be in because there's no clear no.

There's no boundary of discipline.

And so I don't know where I can go that steps outside of flourishing.

I'm unsupported in that world.

Children are just like us, they're just like any creature.

We need a space to flourish in.

So you create the space with discipline and you call them towards flourishing with instruction.

I can't offer much that's too practical now.

But I want your imaginations to grasp this picture of Eden for your parenting, to create a space, a boundary that's discipline for flourishing.

That's instruction.

Now, what is it instruction in?

It's in the Lord.

You are calling them.

You are your job as a parent to help your children participate in the highest calling in their lives.

And that is to come to Jesus.

That's what all the boundaries participate in.

And that's what all of the instruction ultimately points to.

It's a coming to Jesus.

This is your role.

So, kids, your job is to come to Jesus.

Parents, your job is to help them.

All of us together are able to do this.

This is made possible because God is our good Father who creates for us the good boundaries for our flourishing and by his spirit instructs us to be able to come to him.

All right.

Let's pray.

Uh we'll take communion together.

Now, when we take communion, we remember Christ poured out blood and his broken body.

We remember that because Christ received our punishment, that when we are in Christ, we never receive a punishment from the Lord that casts off.

We never receive his anger or disappointment.

We receive his discipline for our good that calls us to participate in him.

And we remember that as he lays before us this feast, a garden of abundance that we might participate in.

Father, we pray that you would allow us to be to receive you as our Father in a way that allows us to participate in your goodness towards us for our families.

Pray for our children in our church.

Lord, we pray that they would be brought into our church body, that they might know you and grow in the knowledge of you.

Lord, lift this up in Jesus' name.

Amen.