Lose Yourself // Phil 2:1-11

Well, last week the University of Tennessee squared off against the University of Texas in Knoxville.

So we have a couple of Tennessee fans in here and maybe a few more Texas fans.

And it was a crazy game.

There was a last-minute finish.

Texas did win.

And uh but the thing was the biggest moment of the game was actually not the crazy ending.

It was something that happened in the second quarter.

A Texas player named Colin Simmons, some of you know where I'm going when I say that name, uh, sacked the quarterback, and then he decided to celebrate.

Um, I'm just gonna describe it as by pretending no by pretending to use the restroom on the field.

Uh, and it was dumb on a lot of levels.

It was dumb from a football perspective because you just wiped out the sack uh and now you gave them another chance to go score.

They have a first down.

Uh and it was dumb from a common sense perspective because you're on television, there's young kids watching, there's families uh and doing something like that.

It was just blasted by everybody.

But in the press conference, when the coach for Texas, Steve Sarkeesian, was asked about it, uh, you know, he obviously said this was wrong.

And he said something that was really interesting.

Uh, he's talking about what he did, and he said, you know, unfortunately, in our society right now, we live in the look-it-me society.

He said, That's the world we live in.

And he's right.

We live in a look at me society.

That's how somebody can think that it would be okay to go and do something like that on national television after you score, because that's the world that we exist in.

And statistics show uh there was actually 50% or 57% of Gen Z said that if they were given the chance, they would love to become a social media influencer.

Uh and you're like, okay, well, social media influencer is not inherently bad.

You're right, but look at what we start to see when we start to run some different questions about how you feel about social media.

31% of teenagers say that social media makes them feel pressure to post things that will be popular.

That they feel pressure not just to post things to keep people in the loop, but if they're gonna post something, it needs to look good.

It needs to look right, it needs to be popular, or else they just won't post it at all.

And over half of teenagers say they feel pressure to look their best or to present themselves in a certain way, especially on social media.

Which maybe you think, okay, well, that's great.

It's not wrong to want to look good or be presentable, and you're right.

But what we found is that our culture is obsessed with self-image and it has not led to life.

Among American young adults, depression has more than doubled since 2017.

And almost 30% have reported either being treated for depression.

Nearly three in 10 report significant loneliness on a given day.

And look, I'm not trying to say that all of the problems in our world are caused because uh, you know, our society is just a bunch of narcissists.

But what I am saying is that we look at where the world's going, we have more tools than ever to focus on ourselves, to advertise ourselves, to improve ourselves, to express ourselves.

And if you think that constantly focusing on ourselves was the path to happiness, that we would be the happiest generation in the world.

And that's just not the case.

Why am I telling you that story and these facts?

Well, because in Philippians tonight, we're gonna see Paul talk about this mindset.

You could call it pride, you could call it self-centeredness, but he's actually gonna attack it directly and he's gonna offer a better way.

He's gonna say, hey, the good life is not found by endlessly looking in at yourself.

The good life is not the universe where you're at the center and everything revolves around you.

Instead, the good life is found in following Jesus and following his example of humility.

And so we're in Philippians chapter two, we're gonna start in verse one.

Philippians chapter two, verse one, it'll be on the screen as well.

So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind.

So if this sounds familiar, it's probably because it is.

We've been talking about unity the last few weeks.

We've been talking about how the gospel knits us together as a community.

As believers, we're close to one another.

And it's not because we look the same or act the same or come from the same background, it's because we worship the same God and he's rescued us from sin in the same way.

And he he calls back to that point earlier.

Hey, live a life worthy of the gospel.

Uh, and he says this that, hey, if the gospel is true, if Jesus has comforted you, if you've felt the Father's love, if you have the Holy Spirit in you, notice how he hits each part of the Trinity there.

He says, then as a response to the gospel, we should what?

Live in unity.

And we talked about that two weeks ago.

But then Paul starts to get a little bit more specific on what that actually looks like to live in unity.

In verse three, he says, Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, or vain conceit, as some translations will say, but in humility, count others more significant than yourselves.

Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

And so, verse three, Paul actually starts with two negative commands.

He says, Don't do this and this.

And the reason I think that he starts with those negative commands is because these two things that he's about to mention are the biggest enemies to unity in the church.

And notice he doesn't say, uh, he's not talking about how much money you have.

He's not talking about who your parents or who you will vote for one day.

None of those are the biggest enemies to unity.

He's not talking about what side of town you come from, what high school you go to.

No, the biggest enemies for unity for him and for us, by extent, are selfish ambition and vain conceit.

That everything goes back to one of those two broken spots.

And so let's unpack that a little bit.

The Greek word for selfish ambition carries the idea of a politician running for office, self-promotion, trying to get myself out there.

I'm always working an angle, trying to get people on my side.

I'm trying to elevate myself, trying to be noticed, even when it costs someone else.

That type of selfish ambition is actually what wrecked my student ministry growing up.

I've told lots of stories about how uh my experience in student ministry was awesome.

Even though I was a broken young man, God met me there and it was amazing.

But unfortunately, my time there ended kind of poorly because I was really close to the youth pastor that was there growing up.

His name was Mark.

I still keep in touch with him to this day.

He's a great guy.

And he wasn't perfect, you know, organization wasn't always his strongest uh skill, but he was a great guy and he loved us well, he loved the students well, and he was awesome.

But there was another guy on staff who had once been the youth pastor.

Uh, and you started to kind of get the vibe after a while that he kind of wanted to be the youth pastor again, especially when his students came into the student ministry.

And so instead of supporting Mark, he started to actually work against him.

He started to gossip, he started to twist things, he started to stir up frustration in other people, and eventually kind of built a little group of people that were against Mark, my youth pastor.

And eventually it worked.

Mark just was tired of fighting the battle and he up and he moved back to Florida.

Uh, and there was a lot of hurt and pain left in the wake in Mark's life and other people in the church's life and the student's life, right?

Imagine if next week I were to just up and leave, and the relationships that we had built with this guy were just gone overnight.

And so there was a lot of pain and a lot of hurt, but for him, it was what he wanted, the other guy, right?

He was going to get what he wanted.

He wanted the position, he wanted that, and it didn't really matter who got in his way, no matter the cost.

People were hurt, relationships were damaged, we got caught in the middle.

That's selfish ambition.

I am more concerned with my interests than anything else.

I'm going to climb the ladder even if I have to step on a whole bunch of people to do it.

We see this in our social circles.

It's the kid at school who will throw anybody under the bus for a cheap laugh.

It's the person who will gladly ditch your friend group for the first opportunity to advance socially or academically or athletically.

Right?

We know what this is, just sometimes it's lost because we're so used to it.

It's seeking your own wants and desires even at the cost of other people.

And that's selfish ambition.

The second danger to unity that Paul shares or points out is vain conceit.

The Greek word here is literally translated as empty glory.

It's the idea of running to hollow things like appearance or reputation or image in order to have some sense of being impressive or superior than others or worthy of love and attention.

And guys, that was me.

I've talked a little bit about my growing up.

When I transferred from a small Christian charter school to a large public school south of Dallas, I realized very quickly that there's kind of levels to this whole social thing.

Uh, there's popular groups and there's non-popular groups.

And, you know, middle school me thought, okay, well, it looks a lot more fun to be popular, so I'm gonna try to do that.

But I had no idea the decision that I was making.

And so in my mind, I was like, well, this is good, so let me do this.

How do I do this?

And I started to run all of these things that I thought would make me look impressive: sports, girls, grades, a certain kind of clothing that I would wear, or a certain kind of image, or likes and followers on social media, being invited to the events, being a part of the in-crowd, whatever I thought was gonna make me feel important, whatever I thought was gonna fill that hole in my heart.

And the problem was none of it did.

It was all hollow, hollow glory, because all those things could change overnight.

And here's the really nasty thing.

We become like what we pursue.

And so when I pursued hollow things, I became hollow.

I became a shell of myself.

I spent so much time worrying about the opinions and the thoughts of others that I didn't even know who I was anymore.

And when I looked in the mirror, I didn't like what I saw.

What I thought would make me feel like a somebody just left me even more empty.

And that's something that I don't want to rush past tonight because uh and hear my heart here.

Like I'm pleading with you because I love you guys.

Like this is this is this is my heart.

I'm afraid that many of us walk through these doors tonight in the exact same place.

And I'm afraid many of us don't even realize it.

So much of what we do is motivated, motivated by what we think will either benefit us or by what we think other people want from us or want to see in us by selfish ambition and vain conceit.

Can I be real?

Do I have permission to just speak freely about what we're experiencing here?

Because the reality is, guys, and we talked to my guys for a second.

Some of you have killed your incredible, God-given personality by walking around trying to avoid showing any joy or happiness or emotion whatsoever so that you can be considered nonchalant.

I'm serious.

Or you've been making yourself miserable, playing a sport that you're not good at and you don't enjoy because you think that it's your only pathway to status.

Or let's get really real, you've been using girls made in the image of God for your own selfish purposes.

And I just want you to hear, again, hear my heart.

I want you to hear me.

You do not need to be a robot or a star athlete or have a bunch of girls to be a man.

That's a lie from Satan.

Or, ladies, some of you, and I just my heart breaks having a daughter.

I'm I'm so afraid that some of you have shrunk your view of your self-worth down to how your body appears to boys.

And because of that, you hate how you look in the mirror and you spend hours and hours trying to make yourself look like someone different, someone else, hoping that somehow I can just get some sense of love and affection from somebody.

Or you've stayed in a relationship far too long with a guy who doesn't treat you like the daughter of the king that you are because you're afraid of what being single could do to your status.

I'm not just gonna put it on the boys, girls.

Some of some of you guys have been using guys made in God's image for your own selfish purposes.

And look, I I say this to you, ladies, you do not have to look perfect or be popular or be the girl that everyone notices to have worth and value.

That is given to you by God and nobody can take it away.

And look, I could keep listing examples, but I don't think that's the point here tonight.

I could go on and on and on.

And I also want to say I don't point those things out to try and be harsh or or to get a reaction.

Like I my heart literally breaks for you guys because I have been there and I've seen that those wells run dry.

And look, you didn't invent the look at me culture.

It was inherited, right?

None of you guys invented social media.

Most of us had no idea what we were getting into when we opened up our smartphone for the first time.

It's just the world that we live in.

And look, I will be up here to tell you selfish ambition and vain conceit are two of my biggest sins.

You guys know why I wear black up here.

It's not because there's an emo kid inside of me that's just trying to get out.

Like you've noticed, I've I always wear black when I preach.

Some of it's because I sweat.

I sweat a lot, practically speaking, you know, like light blue is not going to look good up here.

But also, because when I went to a preaching conference one time, I heard a speaker share the phrase that as a pastor, the goal is to live, preach the gospel, die, and be forgotten.

And I realized for the vast majority of my time in ministry that two of my biggest motivations for being up here and speaking to you guys was selfish ambition and vain conceit.

That I wanted to climb the ministry ladder, and that I wanted you guys to like me.

That I wanted you guys to see important.

And I realized that I have to die to that.

And so I wear black to one, signify that I want nothing about me to stand out.

I want the word of God to stand out.

And two, because you wear black to a funeral.

And those parts of me that want to be selfish, that want to use you guys as a means to my own like insecure need for approval, like that needs to die.

And I don't say that to pat myself on the back because I'm very much still a work in progress, but I want you guys to see I am right there with you.

We all are.

You ask any adult in this room, these are probably two of the biggest things that we struggle with on a daily basis.

And I just want you to understand what C.S.

Lewis says.

One of his quotes, he says, if you look for yourself, you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin, and decay.

Living for selfish ambition and vain conceit for position and applause.

It is no way to live at all.

And I'm just pleading with you tonight to see that there is a better way.

And that's what Paul points to in the rest of the verse.

So back in verse 3, he says, Don't do anything out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.

Let you not look only to his own interests, but also to the interest of others.

And the better way that Paul shows us is humility, which we need to pause and define that, because the term humility is kind of loaded.

A lot of us have different understandings of what that word means.

Some of us hear it and we assume that it means we should think badly about ourselves.

Or I should just pretend that I'm not good at anything, because I don't want to be seen as prideful.

Or some of us think that it means we should let people walk all over us and never speak up for ourselves.

Or that you should feel guilty if you're ever proud of an accomplishment or a skill that you have worked hard to develop.

But that's not where Paul goes.

Yes, he does say to count others as more significant than yourself, but verse four shows us that he's not talking about others actually being more valuable intrinsically, meaning like he's not saying other people are literally more valuable than you, that you don't have value.

Rather, he's talking about how you care for others, right?

That's why he alters.

He says, Count them as more significant than yourselves.

And in verse four, he says, Don't look to your own interest, but to the interest of others.

And so what he's saying is view their needs as a priority above your own.

To set a need set aside our desires to prioritize, prioritize others around us.

And maybe the best way to summarize this in a quote, and you might have heard this before, is that humility isn't thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less.

It's not saying that, it's not saying, hey, I don't matter, it's saying, hey, I don't need to make everything about me.

And parenting's actually a really good picture of this.

Uh, if you want humility, have a kid.

Not right now for any of you, but one day.

Because you realize real quickly what it means to put someone ahead of yourself.

It teaches you the hard way that this world does not revolve around me.

Like, I have to put my kids first, and it's not because I view them as a more valuable human being.

I love them to death, but like Michael's not really carrying his own weight right now.

Like, he's cute, but he poops himself and throws up on everything and then sleeps.

Like, it's not like he's necessarily like paying the bills.

But the reason I put them ahead is because I realize that his needs come above my own.

You know, I might want to sleep, but when Michael comes into my room because he's had a bad dream, we're gonna snuggle.

Or I might want to sit down and relax when I get home, but the kids need dinner and baths.

And so I it's it's not that I think, you know, my kids' life is worth more than mine, but it's that I I'm gonna prioritize their needs above my own.

And it's not about me, it's not about what I want, it's about raising these kids up in a way that honors the Lord.

Humility is not believing that somebody else is more valuable than you, it's being willing to treat their needs as more important than your own desires.

But that's not exclusive to just parents.

I had a student once who was a picture of this, and he was a good-looking kid, he was athletic, he was smart, he was funny.

Like somebody built this kid in a lab.

And I honestly remember meeting him and I thought, this guy has to be a punk.

Like, there's no way this has not gone to his head.

Like he's gonna be the worst person I've ever met.

Like, I'm just being honest.

Like, that was my first take.

And then I talked to him, and I can't get him to say three words about himself.

Like, and it's not that he was quiet, it's just he would be asking me questions about, hey, what did you do?

Hey, why did you get into ministry?

Like all these sorts of things.

I'm like taking aback.

Like, this is a student, like better at carrying conversations than I was.

And the longer I watched him, the more I realized that's just who he was.

He was confident, right?

He he competed, he played in sports, he he did all sorts of stuff.

He was involved, he was a leader, but he also didn't need every room that he was in to revolve around him.

And you started to see that mindset in every area of his life.

When he played sports, he was a good teammate.

He wasn't concerned about scoring and then what type of celebration he was going to do when he was.

He was concerned about, hey, does the guy on my right know what he's doing?

Does the guy on my left know what he's doing?

Hey, that guy who just made a mistake, does he know that that doesn't define him and we can pick up and we can try again?

He was a good classmate.

Instead of lording his class rank over everybody, he was like, hey, you know, let me use the intelligence that God has gifted me with to help other people reach their fullest academic potential.

And he was a good friend.

He noticed people, he included them, and he listened, tried to make other people feel seen and heard rather than using other people to try and make himself feel important.

He understood that true humility means putting others first.

And if that's true, then the implication for us is we need to look at our lives and we need to think, okay, like, is my idea of humility, is my life lining up to that?

Like, where am I missing this?

Like, how can it change?

And so my invitation to you this week, make an intention, intentional effort not to think less about yourself, but just think about yourself less.

When you have a conversation with someone, instead of when they're talking, thinking about what you're gonna say next, just intently listen.

I know that sounds super simple, but how often when, you know, uh when Owen is talking to me, right?

Because Owen talks a ton, like just trying to get him to stop talking is hard.

When Owen's talking to me, right, I'm thinking about, okay, what am I gonna say next that's gonna be funny?

How am I gonna make this guy laugh?

How am I gonna, oh, somebody else just walked up?

Who walked up?

Like, I'll confess, as a pastor, I'm horrible about that.

Like, if you guys ever see me looking around, well, I'm trying to talk to you, just like hit me, not really, especially you, but like get my attention because I don't want to think that this is not about you.

Like engage with that person.

Or instead of talking about yourself, ask, hey, what are three questions I can ask?

Hey, what's something that you're doing this weekend?

What's one of my favorite questions to ask is uh, what is something you're excited about right now?

Because that person's gonna talk about something they're passionate about, something they're looking forward to.

Or simply, how can I pray for you?

And look, these are all just practical tips.

I'm not saying that this will immediately make you humble as a person, but but they are tips to practice this mindset, right?

Instead of uh, you know, trying to make sure that everybody knows you did something to help out or knows that you did a good deed, do something helpful or good that nobody's ever going to know about.

When you walk into a room and instead of asking, like, hey, who here can notice me?

Think, hey, who here can I notice?

Who can I help welcome in?

And maybe you find yourself in the group that you beat up on yourself.

Well, don't downplay how God has gifted you.

Think about how you can use those gifts to bless others and glorify God.

You don't have to pretend that you aren't smart.

Like that story I told, how can you use the gift God's given you to help the people around you?

Or you don't have to be obsessed with how your body looks.

Think about how God has gifted you with a body with strength and endurance and ability to go and use my hands to build things and to help people.

And look, I understand that's a high calling.

Like what I am telling you tonight is to swim upstream from everything that you live in when you leave these four walls.

But the beautiful thing of this text is that God is not asking you to do anything that he hasn't done first.

In fact, that's exactly where Paul goes at the end of this passage.

Let's read in verse five.

Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who though he was in the form of God did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but he emptied himself by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men, and being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

And therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him every name or sorry, bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth, and under the earth, and every tongue confessed that Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of the Father.

And so he makes this point about humility, Paul does, and then he points to Jesus as the example.

He said, Hey, this is what I'm telling you to do, and this is this is this this is the example, this is why.

If you need to know how, if you need to know what it looks like, look at Jesus.

And the really interesting part is that the way Paul describes what Jesus did actually lines up.

With those two negative commands earlier, where he said, Don't uh don't do anything out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.

He then talks about how Jesus was the opposite of selfish ambition and the opposite of vain conceit.

Instead of selfish ambition, Jesus, who was fully God, did not use his status as something to take advantage of others, to elevate himself at the expense of the people around him.

And that's really groundbreaking because in the ancient world, some of you have read some different myths and things in English or history, the ancient gods were seen to be cruel and vindictive, and they would exploit human beings for their purposes, uh and they were just there, humans existed to please the gods, to provide food for the gods.

That's what all of these ancient people would have thought of when they thought of God.

And so when you hear about, no, God came out of heaven and put on flesh and took the form of a servant, it would have blown their mind.

Because the true God doesn't use his power to take from us, he uses his power to give himself to us.

He takes the form of the servant.

Jesus washed the feet of the disciples, he healed the sick, he gave sights to the blind, he fed the hungry, he welcomed in the outsiders of society.

Jesus wasn't selfish, he was self-sacrificing.

And then instead of vain conceit, Jesus didn't spend his life trying to convince everybody how important he was.

He didn't chase the kind of glory, the hollow glory that we chase.

He lived without wealth.

He was poor, he was homeless, he was rejected, uh, he was on the outskirts of society, and he was eventually mocked, beaten, and crucified like a criminal.

He had the opposite of what the world would have thought of as glory, yet in irony, God is the one who gave the glory to him.

In verse 9, it says, God has exalted him.

God, the Father, raised the Son from the dead.

He bestowed on him the name that is above every name, that Jesus is Lord and seen to be Lord, and that one day he'll come back, and every knee will bow, every tongue will confess that Jesus is Lord.

Think about that.

That's the God we serve.

And think about how that runs so counter to so much of how we might picture God.

Maybe you didn't have a great relationship with your earthly father, and so you put what you imagine of an earthly father onto God, of trying to make you earn love, of never really feeling like you measure up to his standards, of never feeling like you can be quite enough for him.

No, the God we serve did not look at you and say, do more, try harder, be better.

He put on flesh, he came to the earth, and Jesus lived a perfect 33 years.

But at the end of that 33 years, he was crucified.

Not for his sin because he had none, but for our sin.

For every lie I've told, for every lustful glance, for every angry outburst, for every gossipy thing that I've ever said.

That all of that wrath, all of the punishment that I've earned for all of those things was put onto Jesus on the cross, so that we could be forgiven.

Our sin had to be paid for.

God can't just look the other way for sin.

He would not be a just God.

It would break who he is and his character.

And there's a whole theological discussion on that, but he can't do that.

All sin has to be paid for if God is who he says he is.

And all sin will be paid for either by us for eternity or by Jesus on the cross.

And so the gift is to accept salvation, accept the gift of salvation.

That's the call.

Scripture says that if you believe in your heart that Jesus is Lord, or sorry, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

If you believe he is who he says he is and he did what he said he did, and you confess that he is Lord, and that's not literally just saying, Jesus is Lord, I get my get out of hell free card.

That's not what we're talking about here.

That Lord is a royal term, and I say this every week almost.

But it means, hey, he's going to be king of my life.

That I don't have much, but whatever I do have, I surrender to him.

And let me just ask you guys that the implication here, if Jesus is the type of Jesus that I've put forward to you in his word tonight, that he would come out of heaven, that he would put on flesh, and he would suffer and die for you, then what other option do I have but to give him everything?

What little I have to surrender it to him, because he's worthy of it.

He's worthy of your life, he's worthy of your sports, he's worthy of your grades, he's worthy of your relationships, he deserves it.

And maybe you've placed your faith in him already.

If you haven't, come find me afterwards.

I'd love to guide you through that if that's a decision you want to make tonight.

But maybe you have, man, then why would I not want to live out that example?

Why would I not want to be like the God who saved me?

The God who lived in humility.

And through his humility came our salvation.

And so to bring it back to the beginning, we don't have to live under the exhaustion and the tyranny of self-exaltation.

It's a big word, but what I mean is that if you try to make your life revolve around you, you're going to be a slave to yourself.

That's a horrible place to be.

I've been there, it's not fun, there's no life in it.

And so the invitation for you tonight is to step back to admit I'm not the center of everything.

This whole thing doesn't revolve around me.

Praise God, because I'd be a really bad center to the universe.

And I'm going to orient my life around the one who is, the one who's worthy.

And in that you will find life.

And you don't have to feel like you have to spend your entire life trying to prove yourself or trying to earn love because it's already yours in Jesus.

And you can rest in that.