Rick Warren - Growing a Love That Lasts—Part Three

Everybody longs for deep, lasting love. But strong relationships, well,

they don't happen by accident. And today on Pastor Rick's

Daily Hope, we will bring our new series called Finding

and Keeping the Love of Your Life to a close.

In this series, Rick Warren shares practical, biblical wisdom for

building healthier, stronger, Christ-centered relationships. Whether you're single, you're dating, engaged, married,

This series will help you grow in love, communication, and

lasting commitment. And now let's wrap up with the final

part of a message called Growing a Love That Lasts.

You don't change bad behavior into good behavior by telling

somebody they're bad. You change bad behavior by helping them

see a picture of what they could become. Somebody could

say to me, Rick, you, you're not good at this,

you're not good at this.

I go, yeah, you're right.

Let me show you how bad I am at it.

But if they came to me and said, you know, Rick,

I think you could really be good at this if

you just do this. You could be this. You could

be a man that your wife honors and loves, that

the community respects, that your friends and relatives want to

be around. This is the kind of man you could

be if you would really give your heart fully, 100%

to Jesus Christ.

That gets me excited.

Not telling me, you know, people say, I've heard preachers say, well,

I just tell it like it is.

That's a lousy way to preach.

Because telling it like it is only reinforces the negative.

You hear that on TV every day. I don't tell

it like it is, folks. I tell it like it

could be. That's preaching for faith. That's preaching for expectation.

That's preaching for what God wants to do in your life.

So here's the key. You want to be a great lover?

Treat people the way you want them to become. You

want your wife to treat you like a king? Treat

her like a queen. The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 13, 7,

if you love somebody, I love this in the living,

if you love somebody, you'll always be loyal to.

Him no matter what the cost.

You'll always believe in him, always expect the best of him,

and always stand your ground in defending him. 1 Thessalonians 5, 11,

encourage each other and build each other up. Do you

know what Satan's favorite four words are? You can't do it.

Satan loves to say that to people. He whispers it

in your ear thousands of times in your lifetime. You

can't do it. So every time you encourage somebody, you

are defeating Satan in their life. Every time you just

encourage them. You can do it, you can do it.

Do you know what is the number one killer of

love in marriage? It's not financial debt. It's not adultery.

It's not anger. It's not hatred. The number one thing

that kills marriages.

Is neglect. It's neglect. If I knew this was the.

Last time I'd see you fall asleep, I'd tuck you

in more tightly and pray your soul to keep. If

I knew this was the last time I'd see you

out the door, I'd hug.

Kiss you one more time, and call you back for more.

If I knew this was the last time I'd get

to share your day, I know that I'd make certain

it didn't slip away. We assume we'll always have tomorrow

to correct an oversight. We'll always have another chance to

make everything all right. There will always be another day

to say that I love you. There will always be

another chance to ask, what can I do? But just

in case that I might be wrong, today is all

I get. I want to say that I love you

so that you will not forget. Tomorrow is not promised

that we'll see another night. Today could be my last

chance to love and hold you tight. Instead of waiting

for tomorrow, show your love somehow, for if tomorrow never comes,

you'll wish you'd done it now, that you didn't take

the extra time for a smile, a hug, or a kiss. Instead,

you were too busy for that one that you now miss.

Hold your loved ones close today and whisper in their ear,

Tell them that you love them and why you hold

them dear.

And say, I'm sorry. Please forgive me. You're the best.

And it's okay.

So if tomorrow never comes, you will not regret today.

As a pastor who's done thousands of funerals, I've just

seen that one in spades.

Too little, too late.

If you're gonna give flowers, give them while they're alive.

Don't wait for the funeral. I want you to write

this down. I must choose to expect the best from

them every day. I must choose to expect the best

from them every day. And then I want you to

write down the name of somebody that you could choose

to expect the best from this week. Because lasting love

extends grace. And lasting love expresses faith. And lasting love

expects the best. And finally, the fourth thing this verse

tells us in God's word is, and this is not, see,

this is not self-help advice I'm giving you. This is

from the Bible. This is what God says makes love.

Lasting love, it doesn't just expect, it doesn't just extend,

it doesn't just express, it endures. Lasting love endures the worst.

And this is where a lot of people fall out.

It is persistent, it is determined, it is diligent, it

is resolute, it refuses.

To quit, it is stubborn.

The Bible says it like this in verse seven.

Love never gives up.

The Bible says love endures through every circumstance. The Bible

says love always perseveres. The Bible says love never looks

back but keeps going to the end. When Kay and

I got married at 21 years of age, we closed

the escape hatch on our marriage and we threw away

the key. And we said, we are in this for life.

We're going to make this work.

If it kills us. It nearly did.

Kay and I have been married 40 years, 38 wonderful years.

The first two years were hell on earth. And many

of you know this story that I was making, what

was it?

$ 400?

No, no, I think I was making $ 800 a month

teaching at a college. And we were so miserable in

our marriage, we said we're going to go get counseling.

And I never understood people say, I can't afford counseling.

How much is your happiness worth? So we went out

and we spent for 15 weeks $ 100 a week for counseling.

That's what it cost. And I was making, you know what,

$ 200 a week.

So half my income was going to counseling. I've often

thought I should do, we put it on a.

MasterCard, $ 1, 500.

I've thought I should do a MasterCard commercial.

A saved marriage, priceless.

I'd pay a million bucks for what I got today.

My wife's my best friend, my lover, my partner, my companion,

my ministry associate.

I can't imagine. You wouldn't even be here.

There would be no Saddleback Church if our marriage had

fallen apart. That was the best $ 1, 500 I ever spent.

You can't afford not to get counseling if you're going

through a tough time.

I would encourage you.

Love. Love. The Bible says never gives up. It always

endures through every circumstance. It always perseveres. It never looks back.

Some of you are in a marriage right now that's

not very happy, and you are ready to give up.

And I came here as a man of God to

tell you this.

Don't. Don't you do it. You have no idea what

you'll miss.

It is always more rewarding to restore a relationship than

to run from it. It is always more rewarding to

restore a relationship than to run from it.

I know people who got divorced and got remarried in

this church.

I could give you a dozen examples of that one.

I know what somebody's saying, Rick, you just don't know

I have endured so much.

Much pain. Well, don't waste it.

They'll say, well, I put up all this pain so

I just then ran away from it. At least get

something from it. I was in a Rouse grocery store

this week and a woman came up to me and said,

you know, Pastor Rick, 10 years ago my marriage was

on the rocks and we were headed for disaster and

destiny was divorce court and I started coming to Saddleback

Church and I would come to the Sunday night service

at Lake Forest where on Sunday nights you would have

pastors of the church line up at the front and

after the service was over anybody who wanted prayer could

come down and receive prayer from one of the pastors

of the church she said I was there every week

Month after month after month, those prayers saved my marriage.

Just 10 years later, we're happily in love. Things are

going great. I'm so glad we didn't quit. It's always

more rewarding to restore a relationship than to run from it. Now,

I don't know why, but I want to just close

with two verses. And I don't know who these verses

are for. But these are the last two verses I

want to share with you. Hosea 3.1. Then the Lord

said to Hosea, go and get your wife again. Bring

her back to you and love her even though she

loved adultery. I don't know who that's for, but that's

for somebody. Then others of you, some of you have

a spouse or you've got a friend or you've got

a loved one or a partner or somebody who's walked

away from God. and they have walked away from God.

So I don't even believe in God anymore. And God says,

I do not want you walking away from them. They

need you now more than ever. Let me show you

a couple verses that'll blow your mind. Look at this

verse on the screen. Job 6 verse 14, this is

Job 6:14

the Bible. A despairing man should have the devotion of

his friends even though he forsakes the fear of the Almighty.

You know what this verse says?

When you are in such a place, you go, I

don't even know if I believe in God right now.

I am in so much pain. I don't even know

if I believe in God. You need a small group

that goes, that's okay. We'll believe God for you. We'll

just hang on to you. Lay down on the stretcher.

We'll carry you on the stretcher. A despairing man should

have the devotion of his friends even though he forsakes

the fear of the Almighty. When a friend, a husband,

a wife, or somebody walks out on God, you do

not walk out on them. They deserve the devotion of

the friends even though we forsake them. Let me, last

verse on your outline, the same verse in another translation.

When desperate people give up on God Almighty, their friends

at least And that's a.

Verse for somebody here today too.

And I want you to notice that these four things,

these loving choices, extending grace, expressing faith, expecting the best,

enduring the worst, you know what these are?

This is how Jesus loves you. This is how Jesus

loves you. Jesus extends grace to you. He died for you.

Jesus expresses faith in you. You say, how's that?

Well, in the first place, he gives you the freedom

to make choices. And that's risky because you could reject him.

He doesn't force you to love him. He gives you

the freedom of choice. He expresses faith in you. He

expects the best from you. He knows your potential. Nobody

knows it more than God does. And he never gives

up for you. Never gives up on you. And he's

waiting for you to come home. Some of you have

been away from God for a long time. You're coming

home this weekend.

Today. Right now.

Time to come back to God. Now let me give

you a little secret. If this is the way God

loves you. This is the way Jesus loves you. If

you want to learn to love people the way Jesus loves.

Here's the secret. Get Jesus in you.

Ask God to put the spirit of Jesus Christ in you.

Nobody can be Jesus like Jesus. So you don't need

to imitate him. You just need to inhabit him and

let him inhabit you. And only with him in your

life will you ever be able to treat people the

way that God says everlasting love does.

Let's bow our heads. Let's bow our heads.

Father, I know that there are many people hurting here today.

There are people who are lonely and they want desperately

somebody to love them. They want to love and be

loved and we honor that and I ask you to

bring somebody in their life that would cherish them and

give them that love they deserve and they need. I

know that you love them. I know that this church

loves them I know this is a family that loves.

We ask you to bring people into the lives of

those who want to love and be loved. And Lord,

whether we ever marry or not, we need to learn

this lesson of love because you've called us to love everybody,

even our enemies, even the foreigner, the immigrant, the people

who are different from us in religion, lifestyle, Lord, we

are not allowed to not love anybody if we claim

your name. I pray that we would feel your grace.

So we can extend it to others.

I pray that we would understand the freedom that you've

given to us so that we may express that faith

and freedom to others. Thank you, Lord, that you don't

drag us down and nag us down but you build

us up help us to do that with others thank

you that you've never given up on us God I

thank you that Kay and I never gave up on

our marriage but I'm more thankful that you never gave

up on our marriage and for those who are just

teetering and wavering right now some who are on the

verge of an affair some of them are out in

a full blown one right now Bring them back to

you lovingly in a new sense. Make Saddleback Church be

known as that's the place where they build marriages, where

they build relationships, where they build families, where they build friendships,

where they build small groups, where people learn the relational

skills they didn't learn in school or at home or

anywhere else. If you've never opened your life to Jesus Christ,

you can't do this. So you need to say this,

Jesus Christ, as much as I know how, I ask

you to put your love in my life. To say

that Jesus Christ, as much as I know how, I

ask you to put your love in my life. Take

away the distrust and fill me with trust. Take away

the shame and guilt and fill me with grace. Take

away the cynicism and the hurt and fill me with faith.

Take away the despair and fill me with hope. And

even when I have to endure the worst, Lord, would

you give me the strength to go through the valley

of the shadow of death and to fear no evil. Father,

thank you for those who are making decisions for you today.

We commit them to you in your name. Amen.

If you just prayed to receive Jesus, congratulations. We would

love to send you some free materials to help you

along on your spiritual journey. Just email rick at pastorrick.com.

That's rick at pastorrick.com. And now let's hear how lives

are changing through Daily Hope. Here's Rick with a letter

from one of our listeners.

You know, we get letters and emails from people all

around the world and from all ages. And here's one

that I got from a listener recently. In Indonesia, his

name is Steven, and he's 12 years old. He wrote,

Dear Pastor Rick, thank you for the powerful way that

you've impacted my life. I'm just a 12-year-old schoolboy in Jakarta, Indonesia,

but I listen to the broadcast every morning on the

way to school. My life has changed completely this year.

I'm at a new school, and my family's just about

recovered from some financial problems, but I'm still having to

learn a whole new way of life. Some days I

really feel bad and I ask God to help me.

But then the Daily Hope broadcast comes on the radio

and you always say something that helps me feel better.

And I know that at that moment, God is trying

to speak directly to me through you. So thank you

ever so much. Well, thank you ever so much, Stephen.

I love hearing from people like you literally all around

the world who've been impacted through Daily Hope. You know,

by the way, I want to thank all of those

of you who support us regularly with your financial gifts

every month. We can't do this without you. But because

of you, we're able to minister to people like this

12-year-old boy, Stephen, in Jakarta, Indonesia. You're never going to

know this side of heaven, the number of lives that

you have impacted because of your gifts to Daily Hope.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

When we get to heaven, we're all going to rejoice

and see the results there.

Be sure to join us next time as we look

into God's word for our Daily Hope. This program is

sponsored by Pastor Rick's Daily Hope and your generous financial support.

Thank you.