"Back on Track: From Balance to Order" | Sunday AM | Sis. Gena Caruthers

We're going to talk about order over balance, and that is putting first things first in a life that cannot do everything.

Now, I'm gonna try not to just talk to the ladies today because for some reason I just feel like that we as the women, the ladies uh of our homes, we just take on everything.

But I know the men do too.

And I know the men carry a very heavy load and a responsibility, and it's just different than what we all do.

But it doesn't take very long before we're seeking balance.

How many of you have just thought, man, if I could just I get I've got to find more balance in my life?

I'm I've gotta balance this and I've gotta balance that, and we've got to balance our family.

We fed, we try to balance ministry, and then we try to balance all the activities that our children have, our children have going on in our lives.

And while taking care of everybody else, we get lost in trying to find this balance.

I've been I've been guilty of it before.

I'm like, I've got to balance things better, I've got to balance things, and I I've bought books about, you know, how do I balance my life better?

And and how do I do this better because I'm overwhelmed in all that I'm trying to get done, and I want to do it better for God, and I want to do it better for my family, and I want to do it, I just want to do it better, but I'm trying to balance everything.

Have you ever been there?

Yeah, we we have all been there.

But balance ask, how do I give everything equal attention?

When order ask, what does God say comes first?

So I proposed the question to you today: order over balance.

So I'm afraid in this life that we are seeking balance, and that's not what we should be trying to find.

What we should be seeking is order.

So that's what I want to talk to us today about.

I you should have a handout, and your handout has 19 different blanks.

I know I don't know really how many, it's a lot.

So I'm gonna try not to miss any of your blanks today.

Um, but what if God, the very first one here is what if God never asked us to balance everything?

Because everything in life does not have equal importance.

Everything in life does not deserve equal time, every opportunity does not deserve a yes.

Am I talking to anybody today, right?

Every need is not necessarily your assignment.

Why do we feel like it is?

And every occasion, every season of life that we go through will not look the same.

So maybe goal isn't the balance, maybe the balance is order.

Balance says everything needs its equal share, and order says some things must come before other things.

So that's where we're at today.

In the Word of God, 1 Corinthians 14 and 33 and verse 40 says, and I'm going to summarize that, and my Bible scholars, be careful, hold on for me, okay?

Don't get upset yet.

It says, For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace.

And let all things be done decently and in order.

Okay, now before you say I've taken this scripture out of context, uh, I realize that Paul is addressing order in the church uh gatherings specifically.

So I want to point out though that we serve a God that is not a God of confusion.

So if he wants order within our churches, I believe he wants order within our home and within our life.

So God is not, God's way is not confusion.

And Jesus gives us an even clearer example in Matthew 6 and 33.

He says, but seek ye first, everybody say first, the kingdom of God, we'll let that soak in a minute.

Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all of these things shall be added to you.

So I went back to the Greek and I love dissecting scriptures and looking them up and making sure, you know, I'm I'm understanding them the way God wants us to.

And that word first is in Greek it's proton, and that means first in time or place.

Jesus didn't say nothing else matters.

He simply said, some things have to come first.

Everybody say first.

Biblical order begins when God, there's your other blank, when God determines the priority.

God must determine that priority.

Order, number one, order begins in the mind, not the calendar.

I don't know about you all.

I'm a huge planner.

It's the way I keep my mind portionally sane.

I try to keep it like, okay, I've got to keep everything in the right order here.

But I look at the calendar every week and I'm like, okay, what do I have to get done?

But God is wanting me to put him first, okay?

Romans 12 and 2 tells us that we must first renew our minds.

And be not conformed to this world, but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind.

Before I can order my calendar, I may have to order my thinking.

I may have to change the way I'm approaching this because sometimes the disorder isn't actually on my calendar, it's my expectations.

Or what I may feel are expectations that others have of me.

So we must realize that the calendar cannot dictate the order because it must begin in our mind.

Why is it that we feel like that we should be able to do everything?

I should be available for everyone.

If someone has a need and I can do it, then I should do it.

Why do I feel that saying no is selfish?

And if I'm resting, then I'm being lazy.

But if something is good, that doesn't necessarily mean that God wants me to do it.

And we don't like to say that very often, especially as leaders, because I don't want any of you to resign any of your positions.

None of y'all can walk out here and say, oh, she said we just need to, you know, blah, blah, blah.

No.

No, you need to stay with me to the end of the lesson, okay?

But the scripture gives us another picture, okay?

Ecclesiastes 3 and 1 says, To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven.

There are seasons.

That means something can be good and it still may not belong in this season of my life.

Philippians 1, 9 and 10 says Paul prays that believers would approve things that are excellent.

You know, that's hard.

That's easier said than done.

Because some of our hardest decisions are between what's good and what is best.

Something may be good, but it may not be best.

What is possible and what is necessary, what is available and what is assigned.

What is competing for balance in our lives today?

Every one of us in this room live very different lives, different seasons of our lives.

And yet every one of us have, if I ask you right now, and I started to, and I just thought, no, that's overwhelming for everybody.

That'll take your mind off the whole lesson.

To write down 10 things that we're drawing for your attention in the upcoming week.

Everybody in here probably could write 10 things very quickly.

Even if it's just as simple as laundry, groceries, and dinner.

That's your first three.

But what is competing for balance in our lives?

So let's identify some of those things that cause disorder in our lives.

And let's just talk about it for a few minutes.

So, what are the good things?

What are good things that may be pulling for our attention?

Let's have a little bit of interaction here so that everybody can hear very well, say it real loud.

What are some, raise your hand, what are some good things that may be pulling for our attention in our lives?

Steve.

Friends.

They're good things.

What else?

Prayer.

Okay, what else?

Work.

It's a good thing.

It's necessary.

What else?

Responsibilities.

Work.

Children.

What else?

Bible reading.

Health.

Doctor's appointments.

Those are good things.

They're necessary things and they're pulling for our time and our attention.

So we've got work, we've got family, we've got church, we've got helping people, helping others.

These are all good things that are pulling for our life.

And we're like, how do I balance them all?

How do I balance everything?

What are some negative things?

And we may not get quite as many happy hands for this one.

What are some bad things or negative things that might be causing some disorder in our lives?

I've got my I've got my I have my list if you're scared to say any of them.

Laundry?

That is that is a bad good thing, but it's true.

Oh no.

Pay and attract.

That's a consequence, is what that is.

That's not a bad, that's a consequence, brother.

Relationships.

Right.

The news.

It is.

Yeah, what else?

Social media.

Comparison.

Comparison.

Social media comparison is eating our generation alive.

They are going into debt beyond measure, trying to keep up with someone else that's on social media.

What else?

Constant comparison.

Poor financial choices.

Unhealthy habits, going to doctor's appointments, toxic or inappropriate relationships.

Those are bad things that cause disorder.

But you know, for me, those are not the hard things to identify in my life.

And quite honestly, I can usually isolate those and put them on the back burner pretty easily.

I'm like, no, I ain't got time.

I don't have any time for that today.

So I can just put that away.

But when you're consumed by it, when you can't put your phone down and quit scrolling, then it is different.

It does make it different.

Okay?

So number two, order requires us to know what matters most.

So we've identified some things, but now let's talk about how can we put it in order?

How does God want us to do this?

So not everything that matters matters at this moment.

Every one of us have a mobile phone.

And the moment that that ding notification goes off, it matters at this moment.

We feel like we've got to pick it up and see what it's saying to us.

And that what whatever was whatever I was focusing on before that may have been what was the priority and the order that God had given me.

But now this ding has immediately caught my attention, and whatever I was focused on, I'm now taken away from it.

I will say, I believe that we are all doing better at not allowing our phones to control our schedules and our time and attention.

I really do think that people have realized that it's not always advantageous to have all of our notifications come on.

I I have gone through, I told my husband the other day, I've gone, I thought I had gone through every one of my notification apps and turned off all of my notifications.

But for some reason, HEB still can ding me.

And I'm like, stop it.

I know I have to buy groceries, and I don't want to know what your specials are.

I don't want.

I finally found they have two different apps in my phone that I have finally isolated.

I'm still having some phone issues.

I don't know what's I got the devil in my phone or something.

Anyway, that is going to take priority in my life this week because for some reason, when I text my husband, Brother Ken Weincoft is getting my text.

That is not good.

That is really not good.

I do send private texts to my husband.

Thankfully, they have all been lovely.

Right, Brother Ken.

For those of you that couldn't hear me said I had no idea she cared so much.

Oh my lord.

So he was invited.

We had a have a family night this coming week, which our family has dwindled.

Uh that's in town.

And so I was trying to coordinate everyone's schedule, and it's Gwen's birthday this week, so I was kind of getting everybody together, and and Brother Ken got invited to our family night.

And David didn't.

He's like, Houston, we have a problem.

And I said, uh, David, I don't know what is going on.

I I anybody that is a tech genius, I need you to look at my phone.

I have even deleted Brother Ken's contact, trying to prevent this from happening.

And he still, if I type a text to my husband, he still gets it.

This is a problem.

Anyway, let me get back on my notes.

That is priority in my week this week, let me assure you.

Not everything matters, uh, matters equally at this moment.

So let's look at Jesus.

I like to look at Jesus because he's my example.

In Mark chapter 1, verses 35 through 38.

Mark 1:35–38

If you have a Bible, you can turn there with me.

And Jesus says, and rising very early in the morning, while it was still dark, he departed and went out to a desolate place, and there he prayed.

And Simon and those who were there with him searched for him, and they found him, and they said, Everyone is looking for you.

And he said unto them, Let's go on to the next towns that I may preach there also, for that is why I came out.

Jesus gets up early and he goes to a solitary place to pray.

Now I I don't think there's a more holy time of the day than another.

But I would just tell you if you're not getting your prayer time in, maybe you don't have it in the right order.

Maybe, maybe you just need to set your alarm a few minutes earlier.

I don't like to get up any earlier than anybody else, but thankfully I am an early riser.

But the disciples came to him and said, Jesus, Jesus, everybody's wanting you.

There's more ministry to do, but Jesus does not allow other people's urgency to determine his assignment.

I want to encourage you today and tell you, stop letting other people determine your assignment in life.

There were legitimate needs where Jesus was, but his mission was determined by his next move.

And it was getting up early to pray and get his order for the day.

So that brings me directly to the question of what is crucial to the mission?

We need to be asking ourselves, is this crucial to the mission at hand?

Yes, eating dinner usually is.

Feeding all five of those children, Sister Anna, usually is.

Somebody's gonna start howling if you don't feed them pretty quickly.

But you can say, should I ask, can, should I do it?

Could I do it?

Not would I be good at it.

Or maybe someone will be disappointed if I don't.

None of us like disappointing other people.

But sometimes it's not my yes to say, sometimes it's not my yes to give.

I have a book coming that we have we'll have it in the lobby for sale.

There'll be$10.

And it's the best yes.

It's written by Lisa Turkers.

If you haven't read this book, it is absolutely a must read.

It's very, very good because it's choosing the best yes in our life.

And not everything we do is the best yes.

Number three, order requires healthy communication.

Healthy communication.

I'm gonna skip here to the scripture slide and let's look at the word of God, Proverbs 15 and 22.

Now, I will tell you, uh, yeah, I already mentioned that I like to dissect scriptures and go back to the original uh translation and really learn what they mean.

But that goes the other way also.

I also like to look at different versions and and especially when it's not doctrinal, and I like to say, what does this what does this say in other versions of the Bible?

So it says in Proverbs 15, 22, without counsel, purposes are disappointed.

But in the multitude of counselors, they are established.

Well, in the ESB, English Standard Version Bible, it says it's a little bit easier to understand.

And it says, without counsel, plans fail.

But with many advisors, they succeed.

Well, if you need it a little bit plainer, and sometimes I do, it says, refuse good advice and watch your plans fail.

Take good counsel and watch them succeed.

You see, we cannot expect people to respect our boundaries and understand our needs and share the responsibilities of the home or recognize our own capacities if we don't communicate.

Ladies, that means no, the family cannot read your mind.

You can go back to that next slide now.

So, what does that look like for us?

No, yeah, that one.

So, what does that look like for us?

That means we have to communicate with our families, with our people that are around us, with our bosses.

With our children.

We have to communicate to people.

What does this week look like for us?

Because I want to just tell you, if you have teenage children or preteen children, you shouldn't be doing that laundry.

They should be doing their own laundry.

You shouldn't be making their beds and cleaning their rooms.

They should be doing that.

You say, well, I'm at home.

I have the time.

I can do it.

You're teaching them nothing except that somebody else is going to wait on them in life.

And is that really how life works?

Not at all.

I better get back to my notes and read what it says.

My husband gets real nervous when I get out of my nose.

Who needs what this week?

What is work schedule going to look like for us this week?

We need to communicate that with our family.

Because if we don't, then when work is heavy and pressing in on us, and our family's wondering, well, what is they all uptight about?

It's because we're we don't have things in order and we need to communicate.

We need to talk about who's responsible, who is responsible for this?

Moms, ladies, dads, you're not responsible for everything.

Yes, in the end it comes down to you, but they need to learn that responsibility within the home.

And sometimes creating order for us means that we feel like, and I already mentioned this, that someone else might be disappointed.

Well, I'm the only one that has to do my own laundry.

None of my friends have to do it.

Well, I'm sorry you're disappointed that you have to do that, but that is life.

Right?

And if you don't do it, if they don't do it, then don't step in and do it for them.

Allow them to suffer the consequences, right, Brother Ken, of their actions, that ticket, that ticket that you get.

Sorry.

Shouldn't have mentioned that out loud.

You open yourself up for everything.

So that is the best way to teach them.

Not to raise your voice at them and not to scold them even.

They wanted to wear their I Love My Church shirt today, and it wasn't clean.

Well, then you just don't get to wear it.

That's not why I'm not wearing mine.

I have it in the office.

I'm gonna put it on after this service.

But let them suffer the consequences because someone else's disappointment is not always evidence of our disobedience.

Sometimes we need to be obedient so that God can use someone else.

Number four, order means honoring our capacity.

And I hope I don't uh put anyone too much on the spot here, but I need to do this so that I can illustrate some uh my point.

So all of us honoring our capacity means honoring our limitations.

Amen.

We all have limitations, and our limitations change through our life, throughout our life.

And I think that's important for us to recognize.

So I'm gonna ask some people to stand.

I'm not gonna make you say anything, so don't get nervous, okay?

But I want to point out some differences here.

So, Anna Rivera, if you'll stand.

Anna's a college student, she's 19 years old, and she has different capacities than Sister Velda.

Will you stand?

Anna has different capacities than Sister Velda.

That doesn't make one's worth greater than the other, but their capacities are different.

Stay standing, please.

Brother Steve, stay standing, please.

Brother Steve Horton, can you stand?

Brother Steve is retired.

Praise God.

Someday I'm gonna get to retire.

His capacities are different than their capacities.

Sister Anna Bundy, would you please stand?

Can you stand, Anna?

Anna has five children.

Her capacity is very different from their capacity.

Right?

Lauren Thornhill, I know you're here, I've seen you.

Lauren?

She's a single adult.

Her capacities are very different.

I'm looking for my caregiver.

Sister Carol Wilson, stand.

Sister Carol takes care of her husband, and her capacities are very different.

Sister Scott, would you stand?

Sister Scott is a widow.

Her capacities are different.

Bob Austin, would you stand?

Brother Bob Austin is a busy executive.

His capacities are different.

Every one of us, you may be seated.

Thank you.

Every one of us in this room have very different capacities.

And what you can expect of Anna, you can't expect of this Anna.

Their capacities are totally different.

That doesn't make their worth any different.

But when it comes down to ordering their lives, their capacity is different.

And we have to acknowledge that different capacity does not mean different values, it just means different capacity.

It's important.

Number five, order includes rest.

Everybody say rest.

Amen.

I know, right?

Can I encourage you today that we create rest through order?

If I ask how many of you came in here tired today, probably too many hands would be raised.

Thank you for being here.

But in Genesis 2, verses 2 and 3, it says, God finished his work and he rested.

Genesis 2:2

God did not need rest because he was exhausted.

He ceased from his work because the work appointed for that period of time was finished.

Right?

That is order.

Rest is holy.

Mark 6 and 31 tells us that Jesus told his disciples, Come ye yourselves apart into a desert place and rest a while.

Why?

For there are many coming and going, and they will have, and they had no leisure so much as to eat.

I love how practical the scripture is.

Jesus doesn't tell his exhausted disciples, pray harder, work harder, you have more faith, be more committed.

He said, come apart and rest.

We heal and restore our bodies, our minds, and our spirits by resting.

Not spending ourselves endlessly.

Too many of us spend ourselves endlessly.

Michaela, I'm going to put it up a little bit early.

Put that next slide up.

This is what some of our lives look like.

Sister Jennifer referred to it last week about having margin in our life.

Ladies and gentlemen, too many of us are living without any margin in our life.

We're living on a six-point font with a 0.10 margin all the way around the page, single-spaced or less.

And we're wondering why are we exhausted?

Why are we trying to balance everything?

Well, it's because we're living without margin.

And may I say it like this rest is not just sleep, it's not just more sleep, although that's a whole nother lesson of taking care of yourself, you're getting the adequate amount of sleep.

But rest is that white space in our lives.

Or if we've just lost how to do it.

I don't know how we must not have had as many mosquitoes back then or something.

They would sit out in the front yard after dinner.

I had to, I had to do the dishes.

Y'all, I couldn't have been, I know I was not above third grade because we moved from that house when I was in third grade.

And I had to clean up the kitchen and do the dishes while they went outside and sat.

My mom and dad both work corporate jobs.

So they went outside and sat.

And I remember them, they would take their coffee out there and prop their feet up on the planter box, and the neighbors would come over and they would sit out in the front yard and cook and just sit out in the front yard and have coffee.

Folks, that's white space.

And it's gone.

It's gone.

Because even our quiet moments that we have anymore are filled.

They're filled with scrolling, they're filled with noise, they're filled with everything.

And if you get nothing else out of this lesson today of order and balance, I want to encourage you, find some white space and let it be.

Let it be, let it be.

Let it be, let it be.

Let some white space happen and be comfortable with it.

If you're outside and you're, you know, maybe I'm giving all of you an assignment.

Well, I can't do it this week because it's supposed to rain.

I was gonna tell y'all, y'all need to just go stand in your front yard and water it with a water hose.

Because you know you'll get fined in the city of San Antonio if you put your sprinkler on.

Hope somebody from the city watches this.

Ask me how I know.

Somebody doesn't follow the watering rules in our neighborhood.

But that that time of just, oh my goodness, my time is speaking of time, I'm getting away.

It's getting away from me.

So we need to rest.

I want to encourage you, find that time to rest.

Read, if you if you have time this week, go and read 1 Kings 19, verses 1 through 8 in Elijah, and it talks about how Elijah, God let Elijah sleep, and an angel wakes him, and he he goes back to sleep, he eats, and then he goes back to sleep again.

1 Kings 19:1–8

And what does this say?

It says, the journey, God knew that the journey was too great for him.

Folks, God knows your journey is too great for you, and he's offering you rest today.

He knew Elijah's capacity, and God did not shame him for it.

And then only afterward does Elijah arrive at Mount Horeb and has an encounter with God only after rest.

But even then, God did not speak to him, and Brother Tyler referenced it earlier this week.

He did not speak to him in the wind, the earthquake, the fire, but the Lord wasn't in any of those.

What was he in?

The still small voice.

Y'all, he was in the margin.

Can I say it like that?

If you're not hearing from God, you know people are always wanting a word from God.

Give me a word from God.

Well, here it is.

Get in the margin to where you don't have so much noise going on in your life, and you might hear God.

And you might not have to have somebody else give you a word, or you know what?

Better yet, you can just pick up the word.

If you're wanting a word from God, my friend, just go ahead and pick it up.

It's right there.

It's right there.

So, where is your margin?

Slow down and find your margin.

I heard a quote this past week on Instagram, and I typed it out so I would make sure that I quoted it accurately so that you wouldn't get upset with me when I said it.

You can get upset with Brother Tyler Whaley at First Church in Peareland because he said it like this, and I thought it was perfect.

He said, Why is it when burnout, because that's what's gonna happen, if you don't get this order and balance thing straight, you're going straight for burnout.

So if you're feeling burnout today, I'm talking to you.

And this is what he said.

Why is it that when burnout hits, it's the things of God we want to lay down?

You didn't tell your boss you were burnout and couldn't come to work.

You didn't tell your wife you were burnout and you can't love her anymore.

No, instead, you turn and say, I've got so much going on that I think what I'm going to do is stop doing, and I'm not gonna stop doing the investing in myself or in anything eternal.

So the first thing you want to let go of is the eternal things.

When it's we've got the order out of balance.

We gotta get everything in order.

Number six, Jesus orders a different way to carry life.

Thank you, Jesus.

Matthew 11 and 28.

It says, Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

Take my yoke upon you.

The yoke is about carrying a load.

Friend, if you're carrying a load today, I want to tell you, you don't need to.

I don't want you to anymore.

I want you to put some things in order in your life because he teaches us how to carry it.

If the burden I'm carrying is crushing me, have I picked up something that Jesus never meant to put on my yoke?

This month we've worked hard about talking about getting back on track, and maybe the answer isn't learning how to balance everything better.

Maybe it's time to examine the order of our lives.

What belongs first?

What belongs next, and what doesn't belong in our load at all?

Because everything may matter, but everything cannot be first.

Will you stand?

God, I don't want to just balance everything.

I want you to help me put it in its proper place.

My relationship with God, my relationship with people, my responsibilities, my calling, my physical body, my work, my ministry, my rest, my yes, and my no.

Because everything matters, but everything cannot be first.

Psalms 90 and 12 says, So teach us to number our days so that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.

We all have limited days, we all have limited hours, we all have limited energy, we all have limited capacity.

So wisdom isn't pretending that those limitations don't exist.

Wisdom is asking God how to steward what He has given to us.

So today, and on your notes that you have, I'd like for you to reflect on these this week.

In the conclusion portion, it says, What is out of order in my life right now?

What am I carrying that God may not have assigned to me?

And what has God called first that I have allowed to become second, third, or last?

Because remember, Matthew 6 and 33 says, but seek ye first the kingdom of God.

This week I pray that God helps you to look at the pieces of your life, the pieces of your calendar, and order them first according to God.

God bless you.