I Am Anxious, God is Peace | Jake Vayda

You get a text from your boss.

Can we talk tomorrow?

What is your first reaction?

Yeah, I'm gonna be fired.

This is it.

I might get a strike.

I did something wrong, right?

You never assume it's good, right?

Like, I'm gonna get the raise that I finally deserve.

Hey, we need we need to talk tomorrow.

Are you free?

And then you kind of shame yourself.

Like, oh, I should be catastrophizing all the bad things that happen.

And you go home, maybe with your roommates or your siblings or your family and your kids, and you're watching a movie, and then I wonder what my boss wants to talk to me about.

Uh I don't know.

And then let me just double check my email, you know, like our past previous conversations.

Maybe I can try to figure out what it might be.

And then in order to get reassurance, you text all of your co-workers, hey, did you know, did you get a similar text?

Okay, okay.

And then and then you feel good, you wake up the next morning, and your first thought is, I'm gonna be fired today.

This is what we call anxiety.

Everyone say anxiety, anxiety.

What are you anxious about today?

The upcoming payment, the family member who went off the deep end, the marriage on the brink of divorce.

What are you anxious about today?

Here, I'm gonna give you the definition of anxiety that I like, and it's this anxiety is the unease we feel today about what might go wrong tomorrow.

The unease we feel today about what might go wrong tomorrow.

Anxiety, fretting about what the future could look like, and we all deal with anxiety.

In fact, today, the question that I want to answer is this How do I make sure that anxiety doesn't run my life?

How do I keep anxiety from running my life?

Here's what's at stake if we do not answer this question.

What's at stake is our life becoming small.

What do I mean by small?

We start fearing the conversation, we start never risking our future, so much so that we end up just never taking a risk.

And then the life that was colorful and beautiful and skies wide open turned into I'm anxious about everything if I just stay here, if I never take a risk.

This is what's at stake if we are anxious.

In fact, here's what I know some of us are dealing with anxiety to the point where we actually can't even live our lives.

And if that's you, uh therapists would call this anxiety disorder.

And can I just say that we have amazing therapists that go to our church and we would love to help you?

In fact, on the connection card, you can just write that anywhere, and we'd love to follow up with you.

But what I know is that anxiety is a part of all of our everyday life.

Today, we're continuing our series called Problems Are Big, but God is Bigger.

And here's what I know about God.

He doesn't want this to be your future.

In fact, God says the opposite.

This is what Jesus says, and maybe this is exactly why you came today.

Jesus says to you, peace I leave with you.

My peace I give you.

I do not give to you as the world gives.

Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not be afraid.

This is Jesus talking in the midst of your anxiety right now.

Nobody in this room or online deserves to live their entire life anxious about what is coming.

Today we're gonna be looking at a woman named Hannah in the Bible.

Hannah was a barren woman, could not get pregnant.

And I'm gonna give you the end of the story.

She was able to get pregnant.

And what we're gonna look at is how she found peace in the midst of her journey.

But Jake, you're saying that she got the answer to her prayer, and now she has peace.

Here's the cool thing about the story.

Before she got the answer to her prayer, in the midst of what could be the bareness, that's when she received peace.

In fact, this is what it says in the Bible that her face was no longer downcast.

That's what it says.

Her face, this gives us the bottom line of our entire message.

If you can take anything out of this message, it would be this prayer can bring peace before it brings an answer.

Prayer can bring peace before it brings an answer.

Man, I'm so excited that you are here today.

I met so many first-time guests already before the service.

We are a Bible-believing, Bible preaching church, and today we will be going verse by verse through 1 Samuel and this woman named Hannah.

Now, as we begin, it's important to look at the history of what is happening.

Here's what we know uh Israel, which are the Christian people, they had no leader.

It's like a church without a pastor.

They had no one to look up to.

In fact, so much so that what started happening is there was moral corruption, religious decline.

It was not really looking good for the people of God, so much so that they that they ended up uh needing an answer somewhere.

And then God brought it.

God brought a man who would ultimately uh um bring spiritual revival to the people.

But it's interesting because this whole this whole Bible story, it doesn't start with this, this, this man that would it starts with a woman who is barren.

That's where the story of national renewal begins.

As we look into the person of Hannah, let's see her circumstances.

This is her circumstances.

It says this in the first verse there once was a man who lived in Ramatam.

He was descended from the old Zuv family in the Ephraim Hills.

His name was Elkanah, he had two wives.

The first was Hannah, the second was Paninnah and Paninnah had children.

Hannah did not.

Here's what we know about Hannah.

Anxiety showed up in a lot of places in her life.

The first way, if you want to write it down, is this anxiety showed up in her identity.

What if I'm not enough?

Have you asked that question?

What if I'm I'm not a what if I'm not enough?

Being barren was a big deal.

The first commandment that God gives is be fruitful and multiply.

If I can't multiply, is something wrong with me?

Kids were a continuance of your lineage, right?

You want to say, my lineage went on for decades.

If you don't have kids, your lineage stops right there.

If you don't have kids, how will you be taken care of in your old age?

If you don't have kids, how will anyone take care of the farm?

It's a big deal to be barren.

You're a wife.

The first responsibility in the Old Testament when it comes to being a wife is to be fruitful and multiply.

And you and you can't.

What if I'm not enough?

The first thing that we learn about Hannah in her biography is this Hannah did not.

Are those words that you put into your identity?

They got married.

I did not.

They got the dream job.

I did not.

They have healthy mental thoughts.

I have mental illness.

They I did not.

The anxiety of her identity.

What if I'm not enough?

But the anxiety continues.

This is where the story goes.

But her rival wife taunted her cruelly, rubbing it in and never letting her forget what God had not given her children.

They this went on.

Year after year, every time she went to the sanctuary of God, she could be expected to be taunted.

Hannah was reduced to tears and had no appetite.

What if this relationship never gets fixed?

What if this marriage never gets fixed?

What if the dating relationship that's on the like what happens if my sibling relationship?

What happens if it never gets fixed?

Hannah is living with another woman who is going crazy, taunting her every single day about the Hannah did not.

Can you imagine that?

Living with someone who bullies you so much so it says that she stopped even eating.

That's the amount of anxiety that she could even eat.

This relationship that will never get fixed.

I'm living with this person.

What's gonna happen?

Have you ever dealt with something like that in your nuclear household?

A relationship that just what if it's never gets fixed?

So Hannah continues.

It says, this next.

Her husband, Elkanah said, Oh Hannah, why are you crying?

Why aren't you eating?

And why are you so upset?

Am I not of more worth to you than ten sons?

So Hannah ate.

Then she pulled herself together and slipped away quietly and entered the sanctuary.

Anxiety shows up in our identity and our relationships, and lastly, it shows up in our future.

She can start measuring her barrenness not in months, but years.

And you might not be a woman in the room.

You might not be a woman who's trying to get pregnant, but we are all barren in a place that we wish we weren't.

Where is your barrenness measured in years and not months?

The question when it comes to my future is will this ever change?

Will this ever change?

And Elkana, the husband.

Can I just give some advice to all the husbands in the room?

When someone is dealing with very deep grief and loss, the first thing you should say is probably not, but babe, you have me.

This is what Elkana did, right?

Am I not worth more than you do?

Babe, you have me.

It's all good.

You know what I mean?

This is what Elkana does, which then puts her further in isolation and depression and anxiety, I could imagine.

So Hannah's here, dealing with all types of anxiety in all types of places.

She most definitely has drinking in a whole anxiety cocktail.

She's all shook up.

I would be, you would be.

This is where she's at.

So bitter of the soul, it says in the Bible, what do you do when you have this amount of anxiety in your life?

Can anybody relate to her in this room?

This is someone who lived thousands of years ago.

It's almost like this is a part of the human condition.

She's so broken, and yet she has to go to this festival.

Every year they go to this festival, and the whole festival is about celebrating the blessings of God, which by the way, that would be like salt on the wound even more.

Like you want me to celebrate the blessings of God while I'm barren, and I've been praying for this for years.

She goes here, but this time something would be different.

This time, she would not leave more anxious, she would leave with peace.

Hannah did three actions that we'll learn today that helped her go from anxious to peaceful by the time she left that church service.

Today I want to share with you what those are.

Here's the first thing that Hannah did, if you want to write it down.

Hannah, she poured out what she was holding in.

You pour out what you've been holding in.

It says this.

She pulled herself together and set the boy quietly and entered the sanctuary, and the priest Eli was on duty at the entrance of God's temple in the customary seat, crushed in soul.

Hannah prayed to God and cried and cried inconsolably without control.

Hannah.

Actually, the Hebrew says that she didn't pray to God, she prayed on God.

The idea that she couldn't even hold her grief and her loss and her anxiety anymore.

She had to put it somewhere, and she decided to put it on the shoulders of God in that moment.

So much pain that she had to incontrollably cry and just let it out.

And I could imagine the things that she was praying.

I could imagine the swear words she might have been saying.

I could imagine how maybe it wasn't the pretty prayer language that we often hear.

I wonder if some of us in this room believe that God is like a bouncer.

All right, you're about to go into the club and velvet ropes, and God's like, nope, you gotta pray the right formula.

You gotta say the right thing.

Where's your Christianese?

Where's the Christian?

Like, you gotta, and then I'll let you in.

So go back, right?

Clean up your life first, clean up your language, and then I'll let you in to heaven.

I'll let you into my presence.

This is obviously not what prayer is.

We pray like how we talk to our spouse before we go to bed.

We pray like we do with a friend on a street corner.

We pray like how we think.

Because God is, He's never disappointed in your prayers.

He just delights in your relationship.

He delights in.

Wouldn't you want your kids to come to you with anything they're carrying, regardless of how they desire to communicate it?

Wouldn't your heart be so grieved that your kid wouldn't come to you unless they had the right words?

I love this quote.

This is Tyler Stanton, a theologian, he says, this when it comes to prayer, God isn't grading essays.

He's talking to children.

So if God can delight in prayers as dysfunctional as the ones we find wedged in the middle of the Bible, he can handle yours too without you cleaning them up first.

God, if the Bible tells us anything about how to pray, it says that God much prefers the rough draft full of rants and typos to the polished edited version.

C.S.

Lewis said, We must lay before him what is in us, not what ought to be in us.

You like that?

That was a quote within a quote.

It's quote inception.

That's what that was.

So we pour out what we've been holding in for too long.

We pour it onto God, onto his shoulders, and then Hannah does something else.

This one you can write down it says this.

We devote to God what you desire from God.

You devote to God what you desire from God.

Some of you have heard how I came to faith, and it was when I was laying down in a field, and I was looking up at the Milky Way, and it was like a giant question mark.

And I was reading a lot of the Bible.

I was just 13 years old, and I was falling in love with this God who could love me back, but I had all of these doubts and concerns, and and I remember making a vow to God.

God, if you're really real, I will give you everything I have.

That was what we would call a vow to God.

It's a strategy that we employ sometimes in our prayer.

Notice what Hannah does in this prayer.

Oh God of the angel armies, if you'll take a good look, hard look at my pain, if you'll quit neglecting me and go into action for me by giving me a son, I'll give him completely and unreservedly to you.

I'll set him apart for a life of holy discipline.

A petition, which is asking God of something.

We should always petition God, right?

I'm asking for this, I'm asking for that.

But sometimes, when things get desperate, we make a vow with God.

This is saying, if you give me it, I will, I will commit to you fully.

We make vows when we get married in sickness and in health.

We make vows when they're in the courtroom.

I promise to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God.

These are vows that we make.

You make vows when you become a police officer, you make vows.

So it's saying, when the feelings aren't there, when you're sick and you're my spouse, I'm gonna show up anyways.

So it's a commitment, regardless of what the current feelings might be.

This is what a vow is.

Hannah makes a vow.

She puts a stake in the ground that says, as far as me and my household, we will serve the Lord.

This is what Hannah, the vow that she's making.

Why?

Why would you make a vow?

A vow doesn't necessarily mean that God's more likely to answer your prayer.

A vow says, first, God, I'm willing to be changed myself.

I'm willing to surrender what I most desire.

That's hard.

She devoted what she desired to God.

13 years old, the thing that I desired the most was my future and a successful future.

And yet in that moment I devoted, I made a vow that says, You have my future.

Success doesn't have my future.

Honor doesn't have my future.

Power doesn't have my future.

Money doesn't have my future.

Anxiety doesn't have my future.

Depression doesn't have my future.

This is a vow that we make.

And sometimes, when should you make a vow?

When you get desperate enough.

The Bible doesn't say that you have to make vows.

It's not a commandment.

You don't need to make vows, but sometimes someone in this room might need to make a vow that says, I've been holding on to this anxiety for too long, and I need to make a vow for my future, committing to you fully.

This is what Hannah does.

Have you ever made a vow to God?

This is the last point, the last thing that Hannah does.

You can write this down, and we don't wait for someone else to seek God for you.

Don't wait for someone else to seek God for you.

So she's on her knees, she's praying, pouring it all out onto the person of God, the shoulders of God.

And she's making a vow, she's employing all the prayer strategies that she can to God.

And then comes what I would say is the craziest part of this entire chapter.

Some would say comedic.

It so happened that as she continued in prayer before God, Eli the priest, was watching her closely.

Hannah was praying in her heart silently, her lips moved, but no sound was heard.

Eli, the priest, jumped to the conclusion that she was drunk.

He approached her and said, You're drunk?

How long do you plan to keep this up?

Sover up, woman.

Oh no, sir, please, I'm I'm I'm I'm a woman brokenhearted.

I haven't been drinking, not a drop of wine or beer.

The only thing I've been pouring out is my heart.

Pouring it out to God.

Don't for a minute think I'm a bad woman.

It's because I'm so desperately unhappy and in such pain that I've stayed here so long.

Eli answered to her, Go in peace, and may the God of Israel give you what you have asked of him.

Eli, a priest.

Of all the things you could assume when someone is kneeling before the altar crying and praying, he assumed that she was drunk.

What does this tell you about the religious decline in the nation?

Remember when I said they were leaderless, they didn't know there was decline?

Of all the things that the priest could assume, he assumed that she was drunk.

Why would this priest Eli assume that she was drunk of all of things?

Well, Eli had two sons.

These two sons were priests, and they would often come in completely drunk to do the work of ministry.

So because of the family carnage, he just naturally could only see ministry through the idea that maybe she's not encountering God in church, but she's actually drunk.

Why would the Bible have this?

Like, what a weird thing to randomly put in the Bible, right?

We're going crazy, we're going deep into like, you know, intercessing with God, and then all of a sudden we talk randomly about being drunk.

And I think there's a reason this is in here because oftentimes we think that someone more holy than me, someone who made a little less mistakes, someone who's a little bit older, someone who maybe's got it all together, they'll pray for me, and then I'll be in a better position with God.

In fact, in the Old Testament, here's a pretty radical thing to say, but there's no proof that the prayer of a pastor or priest is more likely to be heard than yours, no matter where you're at in life.

I think this is in the Bible for the reason that the priest didn't help, but he actually hurt the cause.

Who was the real priest?

It was Hannah.

Hannah went directly to the throne room of the king, wasn't waiting for their parents to say something from all the high schoolers in the room.

Wasn't waiting for the spiritual, wasn't waiting for the pastor.

No, I'm so desperate.

I need to go to the throne room of the king by myself for myself.

And this is what Hannah did.

The boldness of that faith, especially as a woman in the Old Testament, to be able to do this thousands of years ago.

And the priest didn't help but hurt.

I think God had this in here to say, hey, if you're in this position, do you have so much anxiety?

You don't know what to do with.

Don't wait for someone else to pray the prayer.

Has there been a prayer?

You've been hoping someone else would pray for you?

I want to invite the band to just come back up.

How do I keep anxiety from running my life?

We pour it all out onto the shoulders of God.

We devote to God what you desire from God, and we don't wait for someone else to seek God for you.

I've been kind of talking a little crap about the priest here.

So let me redeem myself a little bit.

Don't want to do this.

Here's the thing that Eli does, he actually redeems himself a little bit.

In fact, he actually blesses Hannah.

And he blesses her by saying, interestingly enough, this is what you want, this is what I want, and this is the first word that he says.

He says this.

Go in peace.

And may the God of Israel give you what you have asked of him.

And here's what we know about Hannah.

We get to that famous verse about her no longer being downcast.

Here's another version.

It says, Think well of me and pray for me, she said, and it went her way.

Then she ate.

She couldn't eat before.

She had so much anxiety she couldn't even eat.

She ate, and it says her face was radiant.

Her face was radiant.

The bottom line of our entire message: prayer can bring peace before it brings an answer.

Prayer can bring peace before it brings an answer.

The Bible, Philippians 4, 6, says, do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Hannah.

She does end up giving birth to Samuel, who would change the world.

But here's what we know: any fruit that's on Samuel's tree, anything that he did to change the trajectory of an entire country, that fruit is actually on Hannah's tree.

Samuel was faithful to God his entire life.

And I wonder if that faithfulness started with the love of a mother on her knees before God, pouring her crushed soul to the only one who could take it.

And man, my hope is that your prayer gets answered.

I hope that the financial situation gets resolved.

I really hope the relationship gets mended.

Like I want this for you, but like hear me when I say this.

Prayer can give you peace before the situation changes.

And I want this for you.

It could be available to you right now in this room.

And I know, I know for me, I am naturally an anxious person.

I woke up this morning anxious.

I'm like, I'm preaching a sermon about anxiety, and I'm anxious about how's the sermon gonna go like a little of a hypocrite, I'll be honest with you, standing here.

But before the amazing sermon today that I would preach, I hoped I would preach, before that would even come, or if it would come, I could have peace through the act of releasing it to God.

And I want that for you today.

You came here for a reason.

Would you come and receive what you need today?

Here's what I know about our entire church.

God has done so many things.

Last week I mentioned that uh man, we've had almost 70 first-time guests in the last four weeks.

Uh uh, about a month ago, we baptized 20 people.

Yes.

And we were praying for you, uh, our our staff team, our leaders, uh, we were conceding for you.

We were confessing our own sins and crying together.

And and then the next day the 20 baptisms happen, and we were wondering if there's a correlation.

But here's what I know is that when you go to the throne room of God, uh, he loves to answer the prayers of his people.

But before he answers the prayer, he wants to give you what you most desire, which is peace.

That's what you most want is peace.

And God wants to grant that to you right now.

So when we launch this new series, my problems are big, but God is bigger.

We're like, let's interrupt business as usual.

How we usually end our services, we'll have uh a stand and we'll sing one song and then we'll leave, and it's an empower encounter with God.

But for this series, we decided to interrupt things because sometimes when you need to change, you gotta change.

When something needs to shift, you gotta shift.

There must be something that's different in order to get the different result.

And then years and years of carrying anxiety in her life, relational identity and future.

She I need to do something different this time.

I gotta do something, I gotta go to the throne room myself directly to God and pour it all out.

My heart's broken.

I need someone here, and the only person that can hear this and do something about it is the guy who created me.

So I'm pouring it all out.

I'm letting it all go.

So this series, uh, we've decided to open up the front for you to literally shift your posture.

To maybe come and kneel about the anxiety that you're dealing with, the unanswered prayer that you're grieving about, and to see if God would grant you peace.

I love one of my favorite quotes, and this is me because I'm naturally an anxious person.

I'm type A.

My wife will, she's so chill.

I'm not like that, bro.

I'm not, I'm worried about this, worrying about that.

There's a beautiful quote that says, I'm just a beggar telling another beggar where to find the bread.

I don't have this figured out, but I know a guy who does.

And he's the guy who came down, died on a cross for you so that you could receive peace.

Would you stand with me?

And would you pull out your hands?

This is a posture of receiving, and just like Eli, could I bless you in this moment?

Lord, I bless my friends.

Lord, you know.

You know.

God, would you give them peace?

You promise that you are close to the brokenhearted, you're close to those who are anxious and barren.

Lord, I pray that you would give my friends courage and boldness to release so they could receive your love and to receive your peace.

Lord, I pray in this room right now that none of us would leave being slaves to anxiety any longer.

We are not led by anxiety, we are led by you.

Give them peace that you are leading their lives, and all things will work together for all those who love you.

This is your promise, and we rely on your promise today, God.

So we open our lives to you, and we follow in the footsteps of Hannah.