Sermon
How Many Dates Before Having Sex? A Christian Single Asked This!
Publisher transcript
Transcript
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I received this question from a Christian single
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woman who asked the question, how many dates
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should I wait before having sex?
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Coming from a Christian single person,
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it's a question that sparks controversy and curiosity,
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especially when society seems to place an increasing
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emphasis on physical intimacy
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early in relationships.
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But when you're striving to follow biblical principles,
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the answer is about more than just numbers
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or timing.
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It's about honoring God's design for intimacy.
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So let's approach this with a little humor
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and warmth, like a conversation you'd have over
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coffee with a close friend.
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You're not alone in wondering about this, and
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believe it or not, God has quite a
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bit to say on the subject,
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which is where we'll find our guidance.
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The question of dates, is there a magic
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number?
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Some people might throw out numbers.
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Three dates is enough. No. Wait until date
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10.
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Or you have to wait at least six
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months.
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But is there a magic number that dictates
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when it's appropriate to have sex?
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Spoiler alert, the Bible doesn't mention anything about
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three dates,
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six dates, or 100 dates before getting intimate.
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Instead, God's word is very clear about serving
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sexual intimacy
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for the covenant of marriage.
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That's right. No arbitrary number of dates will
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change what the Bible encourages.
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So the real answer to the question of
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how many dates is simple.
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Wait until after the wedding.
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But why?
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What's the reasoning behind this seemingly counter cultural
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idea?
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Let's break it down from a biblical perspective
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with some humor and grace sprinkled in for
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good measure.
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God's top 10 reasons to wait until marriage.
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Here's a little tongue in cheek look at
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why God in his wisdom
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calls us to save sex for marriage.
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While it's a serious topic,
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a little lightheartedness
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can help us understand these profound truths in
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a more relatable way.
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One,
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true commitment is made before a crowd
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not just on the couch.
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Marriage is a public declaration of commitment
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blessed by God and witnessed by your family,
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friends, and the community.
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It's not something you whisper in someone's ear
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on date number five.
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God designed sex to be a beautiful and
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private expression
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of that public commitment.
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So when you wait, you're saying,
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I'm reserving this deep connection for someone who
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has pledged to be with me for life.
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Two,
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because what would Jesus do
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doesn't involve awkward goodbyes after breakfast.
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We know Jesus led a life of purity
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and he called us to follow him.
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It might sound funny, but when you ask
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yourself,
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what would Jesus do in the context of
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dating,
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you're not picturing him navigating
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awkward morning after situations
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or casual hookups.
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He gave us the example of living with
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integrity,
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honor, and respect for ourselves and others.
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Plus, think about avoiding those post breakfast awkward
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silences.
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Three,
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the no regrets policy.
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Waiting until marriage eliminates the heartache of wondering,
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was that the right choice?
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Or dealing with emotional baggage from relationships
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that didn't work out.
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There's something freeing about knowing you'll enter your
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marriage without regrets
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having honored God's standards.
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No need for those cringeworthy,
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oops, what did I just do moments.
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Four,
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intimacy should be built on communication,
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not just chemistry.
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Let's be real.
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Chemistry is great, but it's not what keeps
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a relationship together.
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Waiting until marriage allows you to focus on
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building a solid foundation
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based on communication,
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trust, and mutual respect.
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It's easy to get swept up in physical
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attraction,
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but long lasting love is built on understanding
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and growing together,
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not just sparks and fireworks.
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Five,
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sex is like a fine wine.
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It gets better with time and the right
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conditions.
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Here's a fun analogy.
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Sex is like a fine wine. It gets
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better when aged in the right environment,
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which in this case is the safety and
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commitment of marriage.
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Rushing into it is like cracking open a
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bottle too
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soon. It's just not going to taste as
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good.
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Waiting gives you the assurance that you're experiencing
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intimacy
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the way God intended
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and with the person committed to sharing a
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lifetime
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with you. Six,
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you don't wanna confuse butterflies with commitment.
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The initial fluttery feelings when you meet someone
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can make you think this is the one,
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but feelings fade.
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Commitment lasts.
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God's plan for sex within marriage
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is like the seal on a lifelong commitment,
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not something you experiment with based on fleeting
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emotions.
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Waiting helps you discern true commitment
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from just infatuation.
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Seven, it's a gift you'll never regret giving
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to your spouse.
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Think of sex as a gift. And like
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any gift, it's special when given at the
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right time.
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By saving that gift for your spouse, you're
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offering something deeply personal that will be a
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blessing to both of you.
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There's no feeling like knowing that you've saved
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something sacred just for them.
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Imagine the joy of unwrapping that gift together
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in the context of a committed,
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God honoring marriage.
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Eight, no worries about becoming a relationship statistic.
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It's a sad fact that many relationships that
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become physically intimate too soon
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often struggle with issues of trust,
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insecurity, or disconnection later.
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Waiting until marriage offers the security of knowing
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you're entering a relationship
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where both parties have been intentional about keeping
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God's best for the right time.
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You're not just another statistic of couples who
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rushed in and fizzled out.
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Nine,
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sex is sacred, not casual.
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In today's world, it's easy to think sex
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is no big deal. It's just a fun
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thing people do when they're in a relationship.
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Right?
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But God sees sex as sacred, not something
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to be treated casually.
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It's not a recreational activity.
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It's a spiritual and emotional deep
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way. Treating it with the reverence it deserves
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by waiting until marriage helps us honor God's
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design.
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10,
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God's way is the best way. No assembly
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required.
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God's instructions aren't meant to ruin your fun
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or make you miss out on life.
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Instead, his way is the blueprint for living
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a life that's fulfilling,
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joyful,
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and without unnecessary
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complications.
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Waiting until marriage isn't some outdated rule. It's
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God's loving guidance to protect our hearts and
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help us experience the fullness of intimacy
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the way he designed it.
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No confusing instructions or assembly needed. Just trust
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his plan.
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But what if I've already had sex?
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You might be reading this and thinking,
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but I've already crossed that line. Does this
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mean it's too late for me?
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Absolutely not. God's grace is abundant and he
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offers forgiveness,
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healing, and a fresh start to anyone who
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seeks it.
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It's never too late to make the decision
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to honor him in your relationships going forward.
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If you've already experienced sexual intimacy
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outside of marriage, take heart in knowing that
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God can redeem any situation.
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You can make a commitment today to honor
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God's design for sex in the future,
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trusting in his grace and forgiveness.
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Your past doesn't define you.
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God's love and plan for your life does.
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Final thoughts. Waiting is worth it.
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In a world that seems to move faster
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and faster, the idea of waiting can feel
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countercultural
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and sometimes downright difficult.
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But as a Christian single woman, your commitment
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to following God's design for sex and marriage
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is not only a testimony to your faith,
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but also a powerful way to build a
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healthy, lasting relationship.
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Remember, there's no magic number of dates before
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having sex because the Bible's guidance is clear.
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Wait until marriage.
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It might not be the easiest path, but
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it's the one that will ultimately bring you
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peace,
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joy, and fulfillment in your relationships.
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So how many dates before sex?
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Let's go with one. Just make sure it's
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the wedding date.