Sermon

How Many Dates Before Having Sex? A Christian Single Asked This!

Christian Advice for Single Christians Podcast

Open publisher episode ↗

Publisher transcript

Transcript

View source ↗
  1. I received this question from a Christian single

  2. woman who asked the question, how many dates

  3. should I wait before having sex?

  4. Coming from a Christian single person,

  5. it's a question that sparks controversy and curiosity,

  6. especially when society seems to place an increasing

  7. emphasis on physical intimacy

  8. early in relationships.

  9. But when you're striving to follow biblical principles,

  10. the answer is about more than just numbers

  11. or timing.

  12. It's about honoring God's design for intimacy.

  13. So let's approach this with a little humor

  14. and warmth, like a conversation you'd have over

  15. coffee with a close friend.

  16. You're not alone in wondering about this, and

  17. believe it or not, God has quite a

  18. bit to say on the subject,

  19. which is where we'll find our guidance.

  20. The question of dates, is there a magic

  21. number?

  22. Some people might throw out numbers.

  23. Three dates is enough. No. Wait until date

  24. 10.

  25. Or you have to wait at least six

  26. months.

  27. But is there a magic number that dictates

  28. when it's appropriate to have sex?

  29. Spoiler alert, the Bible doesn't mention anything about

  30. three dates,

  31. six dates, or 100 dates before getting intimate.

  32. Instead, God's word is very clear about serving

  33. sexual intimacy

  34. for the covenant of marriage.

  35. That's right. No arbitrary number of dates will

  36. change what the Bible encourages.

  37. So the real answer to the question of

  38. how many dates is simple.

  39. Wait until after the wedding.

  40. But why?

  41. What's the reasoning behind this seemingly counter cultural

  42. idea?

  43. Let's break it down from a biblical perspective

  44. with some humor and grace sprinkled in for

  45. good measure.

  46. God's top 10 reasons to wait until marriage.

  47. Here's a little tongue in cheek look at

  48. why God in his wisdom

  49. calls us to save sex for marriage.

  50. While it's a serious topic,

  51. a little lightheartedness

  52. can help us understand these profound truths in

  53. a more relatable way.

  54. One,

  55. true commitment is made before a crowd

  56. not just on the couch.

  57. Marriage is a public declaration of commitment

  58. blessed by God and witnessed by your family,

  59. friends, and the community.

  60. It's not something you whisper in someone's ear

  61. on date number five.

  62. God designed sex to be a beautiful and

  63. private expression

  64. of that public commitment.

  65. So when you wait, you're saying,

  66. I'm reserving this deep connection for someone who

  67. has pledged to be with me for life.

  68. Two,

  69. because what would Jesus do

  70. doesn't involve awkward goodbyes after breakfast.

  71. We know Jesus led a life of purity

  72. and he called us to follow him.

  73. It might sound funny, but when you ask

  74. yourself,

  75. what would Jesus do in the context of

  76. dating,

  77. you're not picturing him navigating

  78. awkward morning after situations

  79. or casual hookups.

  80. He gave us the example of living with

  81. integrity,

  82. honor, and respect for ourselves and others.

  83. Plus, think about avoiding those post breakfast awkward

  84. silences.

  85. Three,

  86. the no regrets policy.

  87. Waiting until marriage eliminates the heartache of wondering,

  88. was that the right choice?

  89. Or dealing with emotional baggage from relationships

  90. that didn't work out.

  91. There's something freeing about knowing you'll enter your

  92. marriage without regrets

  93. having honored God's standards.

  94. No need for those cringeworthy,

  95. oops, what did I just do moments.

  96. Four,

  97. intimacy should be built on communication,

  98. not just chemistry.

  99. Let's be real.

  100. Chemistry is great, but it's not what keeps

  101. a relationship together.

  102. Waiting until marriage allows you to focus on

  103. building a solid foundation

  104. based on communication,

  105. trust, and mutual respect.

  106. It's easy to get swept up in physical

  107. attraction,

  108. but long lasting love is built on understanding

  109. and growing together,

  110. not just sparks and fireworks.

  111. Five,

  112. sex is like a fine wine.

  113. It gets better with time and the right

  114. conditions.

  115. Here's a fun analogy.

  116. Sex is like a fine wine. It gets

  117. better when aged in the right environment,

  118. which in this case is the safety and

  119. commitment of marriage.

  120. Rushing into it is like cracking open a

  121. bottle too

  122. soon. It's just not going to taste as

  123. good.

  124. Waiting gives you the assurance that you're experiencing

  125. intimacy

  126. the way God intended

  127. and with the person committed to sharing a

  128. lifetime

  129. with you. Six,

  130. you don't wanna confuse butterflies with commitment.

  131. The initial fluttery feelings when you meet someone

  132. can make you think this is the one,

  133. but feelings fade.

  134. Commitment lasts.

  135. God's plan for sex within marriage

  136. is like the seal on a lifelong commitment,

  137. not something you experiment with based on fleeting

  138. emotions.

  139. Waiting helps you discern true commitment

  140. from just infatuation.

  141. Seven, it's a gift you'll never regret giving

  142. to your spouse.

  143. Think of sex as a gift. And like

  144. any gift, it's special when given at the

  145. right time.

  146. By saving that gift for your spouse, you're

  147. offering something deeply personal that will be a

  148. blessing to both of you.

  149. There's no feeling like knowing that you've saved

  150. something sacred just for them.

  151. Imagine the joy of unwrapping that gift together

  152. in the context of a committed,

  153. God honoring marriage.

  154. Eight, no worries about becoming a relationship statistic.

  155. It's a sad fact that many relationships that

  156. become physically intimate too soon

  157. often struggle with issues of trust,

  158. insecurity, or disconnection later.

  159. Waiting until marriage offers the security of knowing

  160. you're entering a relationship

  161. where both parties have been intentional about keeping

  162. God's best for the right time.

  163. You're not just another statistic of couples who

  164. rushed in and fizzled out.

  165. Nine,

  166. sex is sacred, not casual.

  167. In today's world, it's easy to think sex

  168. is no big deal. It's just a fun

  169. thing people do when they're in a relationship.

  170. Right?

  171. But God sees sex as sacred, not something

  172. to be treated casually.

  173. It's not a recreational activity.

  174. It's a spiritual and emotional deep

  175. way. Treating it with the reverence it deserves

  176. by waiting until marriage helps us honor God's

  177. design.

  178. 10,

  179. God's way is the best way. No assembly

  180. required.

  181. God's instructions aren't meant to ruin your fun

  182. or make you miss out on life.

  183. Instead, his way is the blueprint for living

  184. a life that's fulfilling,

  185. joyful,

  186. and without unnecessary

  187. complications.

  188. Waiting until marriage isn't some outdated rule. It's

  189. God's loving guidance to protect our hearts and

  190. help us experience the fullness of intimacy

  191. the way he designed it.

  192. No confusing instructions or assembly needed. Just trust

  193. his plan.

  194. But what if I've already had sex?

  195. You might be reading this and thinking,

  196. but I've already crossed that line. Does this

  197. mean it's too late for me?

  198. Absolutely not. God's grace is abundant and he

  199. offers forgiveness,

  200. healing, and a fresh start to anyone who

  201. seeks it.

  202. It's never too late to make the decision

  203. to honor him in your relationships going forward.

  204. If you've already experienced sexual intimacy

  205. outside of marriage, take heart in knowing that

  206. God can redeem any situation.

  207. You can make a commitment today to honor

  208. God's design for sex in the future,

  209. trusting in his grace and forgiveness.

  210. Your past doesn't define you.

  211. God's love and plan for your life does.

  212. Final thoughts. Waiting is worth it.

  213. In a world that seems to move faster

  214. and faster, the idea of waiting can feel

  215. countercultural

  216. and sometimes downright difficult.

  217. But as a Christian single woman, your commitment

  218. to following God's design for sex and marriage

  219. is not only a testimony to your faith,

  220. but also a powerful way to build a

  221. healthy, lasting relationship.

  222. Remember, there's no magic number of dates before

  223. having sex because the Bible's guidance is clear.

  224. Wait until marriage.

  225. It might not be the easiest path, but

  226. it's the one that will ultimately bring you

  227. peace,

  228. joy, and fulfillment in your relationships.

  229. So how many dates before sex?

  230. Let's go with one. Just make sure it's

  231. the wedding date.