Fear of Being Alone | Top Fears That Keep Single Christians Alone and Single Fears That Keep Women And Men Single

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Hey, everybody. How are you? This is baby

boomer Dave at Oasis Singles. And today, we're

gonna be talking about the fears that keep

women and men single.

I mean, think about it. It's crazy. The

very things most of us desire in life

are the very things we're afraid of, like

a long term relationship, a marriage relationship. We

desire those things, but certain fears, certain relationship

anxieties keep us away from those.

I think most of us would agree that

fear is one of the greatest joy stealers

in life. It just saps the energy out

of us. It robs us of the joy

and the intimacy

that Jesus wants us to enjoy in our

lives. I think that's why God mentions do

not fear

71 times in the bible, and many more

times he alludes to it because he doesn't

want us living in fear. He doesn't want

us living in bondage. He doesn't want us

living in relationship anxiety with others or definitely

with him. So check it out. We interview

dozens of people from our website at oasisdashsingles.com,

and we ask them one question.

What are the fears that hold you back

from enjoying

a relationship to the full, from finding that

special someone, that soulmate that you want to

spend the rest of your life with? What

came back are many different varieties of fears.

I mean, there's fear of everything. Right? There's

so many phobias out there. It kinda reminded

me of Charlie Brown Christmas, if you saw

it, where Lucy says to Charlie Brown Or

maybe you have pantophobia.

Do you think you have pantophobia?

What's pantophobia? The fear of everything.

That's it.

There's so many fears out there and so

many phobias.

I'd probably have a dozen or 2 myself.

But what we've done is we put them

basically in 3

major silos because they all flow from those

3, And we're gonna talk about that. And

then we're gonna talk about what God says

about fear and how we can overcome fear

to enjoy our lives to the full, to

enjoy our relationships

to the full, to enjoy the Lord to

the full. So that's where we are. So

let's get started. The very first fear we

wanna talk about is the fear of rejection.

I think most of us can identify with

this, and it really comes down to when

you think about it, it comes down to

an insecurity issue within ourselves,

a lack of self esteem within ourselves. For

whatever reason, we may feel I'm not good

enough,

I'm not rich enough,

I'm not attractive enough,

my nose is too big.

And actually, that was one of my fears

of a projection growing up. All my friends

picked on me for having a big schloss.

They would call me toucan sam, like in

Froot Loops.

True story. But that actually kept me away

from asking any girl out because I thought,

what girl would wanna go out with me?

Because my nose is too big. And so

I felt that way inside of me. So

I felt I was transferring

my insecurity to them thinking, well, they're just

gonna reject me. And that kept me back

for so many years. I know it sounds

dumb and silly now,

but that's one of the fears.

So what is your insecurity?

What where in your life do you feel

they'll just gonna reject you? Where do you

feel like no guy would ever want me

or no girl would ever want me? So

that's our first fear, fear of rejection.

The second fear we wanna tackle, somewhat related

to rejection,

is the fear of making yourself vulnerable to

someone else.

Look. There's no way you can experience true

love in a relationship

if you're not vulnerable to that person.

If you don't share your heart with that

person, if you close your heart up to

that person,

how in the world are you going to

experience a true love relationship?

How are you going to experience the intimacy

that comes in a marriage if you're afraid

of giving yourself away? I have met so

many people through our website and in life

that want this relationship and this intimacy, but

they're afraid

to open up their heart. They're afraid to

take that face filled risk and tell someone,

hey. You know what?

I love you, and I'm opening my heart

to you. You're afraid of doing that. I'm

telling you, fear of making yourself vulnerable, closing

yourself off to the world will inevitably

cause you to have regrets in life. I

meet so many people who are going through

life and they have these regrets. They wish

they could have opened their heart to this

other person

and instead didn't. And so now they're alone.

It's all about relationship, guys. And God wants

us to be vulnerable

with other people and definitely with Him to

enjoy this amazing intimacy

that He offers.

He didn't create us to be alone. He

created us to enjoy

intimate relationship,

and that means making yourselves vulnerable to each

other at the right time. Now there are

many fears like I mentioned, but the third

and final area we're gonna be talking about

is the fear of change.

Yeah, I know it's hard. I'm a I'm

a creature of habit, but many of us

just like to be stuck in our mess,

don't we? We're so used to being alone

that we get used to it. And then

when we have an opportunity to get into

a relationship,

we fear the changes that go along with

that. But many of us are so used

to the same old, same old that we

don't realize there's a whole world out there

that we could experience

if we just open ourselves up to the

possibilities

of change. Someone once told me, and I

think it's definitely true. He says, when the

pain of being alone exceeds

your fear of change,

you'll make that change. So I wanna ask

you, where are you in your life right

now? Are you going through pain and loneliness?

Does that pain exceed your fear of change?

Well, it's time to make a change. God

has a wonderful plan for your life. So

what we wanna do now is share some

scriptures of encouragement

about how God tells us we should feel

about our fears. The Lord has an awful

lot to say about fear. One of the

main things that jumps out at us as

we read the scriptures is that God is

continually

admonishing us not to fear. For example, in

a New Testament passage in Mark 536,

Jesus encourages

a father whose daughter was ill. He says,

do not be fearful,

just believe.

How interesting.

You could apply this to your relationship anxiety

as well.

On the one hand, we have fearfulness.

On the other hand, we have belief and

trust.

And if you really think about it, fear

and faith do not coexist.

One will have to give way to the

other. Overall, if you're a single Christian woman

or man struggling with these spirit issues, and

they're holding you back from meeting that special

someone,

take care. You're definitely not alone in your

fears, and there's help for you.

We suggest you pray over the following suggestions.

Number 1,

talk about your fears with a reputable Christian

counselor,

a Christian singles group person, or a trusted

friend. Oftentimes,

speaking about our fears with someone else brings

us back to reality and gives us hope

for the future.

The advice they offer could also be very

liberating.

Number 2, let God's word and spirit soothe

your heart and fears

as you look up and meditate on what

he actually says in the past. Here are

a few paraphrase verses to get you started.

I love this verse. It's one of my

favorites. It helped me get through a lot

of fear in my life. It's found in

Psalm 344.

It says, the Lord is able to deliver

you from, check that, all your fears.

Isaiah 51:7

Isaiah 51:7

says this, do not fear the reproach of

others or be terrified

of their insults.

That kind of comes back to fear of

rejection.

Proverbs

2925 says, fear of men, whether they be

single or not, is a snare.

Again, very related to what we were talking

about.

Joshua 1:8. I love, love, love this.

Joshua 1:8

Don't be afraid or discouraged because

God is with you. You know your God

is with you every step of the way.

He's not gonna abandon you just because you

fear. He's with you. Hey. Thanks for popping

in on our podcast at oasis dashsingles.com.

If you like what you heard, if you

got something out of it, please subscribe to

us. Please like us. Comment on our articles,

but also in the YouTube channel itself.

We love you guys. We're here for you.

Remember,

perfect love casts out fear.

God loves you. He has a wonderful plan

for you. He doesn't want you living in

the bondage of fear, but he wants you

to enjoy life to the full. Let's go

for it.