Understanding The Assignment | Pastor KJay | Radiant Church

Welcome, podcast family.

My name is Kaylee, and thank you for tuning in today.

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We believe that God has a powerful word for you today.

So let's dive in into this amazing message.

If you are taking notes today, the title of my sermon is Understand the Assignment.

Understand the assignment.

And what it simply means, it's kind of like this modern thing people say.

But if you tell somebody to do something and they just like ace it, they like knock the ball out the park, you respond and say they understood the what?

Assignment.

They understood the assignment.

So, like, if I tell my wife, like, hey, can you get some food?

You know, I'm thinking, okay, maybe a little hamburger, health and nothing crazy.

Come home, ribs, steak, potatoes, mac and cheese, cornbread.

I'm like, she understood the assignment, you know what I'm saying?

Or, or um, I saw a video on Facebook.

This probably ain't funny, but this guy, you know, he was speeding, and then he told the officer, he was like, Hey, you know, my dad was like hurting.

I had to help him get to my dad.

His dad wasn't really hurt, his dad was like on the ground, like shaking, looking like he broken in half.

And, you know, he was like, Dad understood the assignment, you know what I'm saying?

So that's what it means to understand the assignment.

I'm afraid that most marriages fail, and most marriages is under turmoil and strain because most people in marriages don't understand the assignment.

Marriage has an assignment, and marriage is better when you understand the assignment.

Dating is better when you understand the assignment.

Singlehood is better when you understand the assignment.

Do you understand the assignment?

Because there's an assignment for marriage.

Marriage isn't just aimlessly.

No, no, no.

God has a purpose and God has an assignment for the marriage.

And the problem with most married people is this you have no reason to truly be married.

Now we're gonna give you a reason.

So this ain't an out for you to not be married.

We're gonna give you a reason, but most people, if you would sit down and ask yourself, why are you dating the person you're dating or why are you married to the person you're married, you would have to honestly say because she was cute.

What?

He had a good job.

So most of the reasons why they slated my DMs.

So most of the reasons why we're in relationships, someone approached us, someone thought we were cute, man.

I'm I'm I'm lonely, I need someone to love, and we have all these reasons to be in relationships.

And these reasons, I'm not trying to say they're just terrible, but if I'm going to go into a marriage, a marriage is something God designed.

How would I go into a marriage, something that God designed, without knowing how God designed it?

Because the problem is your marriage is struggling.

If it's struggling, if you guys are fighting, if you guys can't get along, I know one thing.

And here's what I know you guys did not understand the assignment.

Somebody did not understand the assignment.

I'm not saying marriage ain't hard.

I'm not saying it's not struggles, I'm not saying it's not the mingling of two souls, and even if you understand the assignment, it's not challenging, but I'm saying most problems in marriage come from people who don't understand the assignment, and we get together because of affection, not assignment.

The problem with affection is affection is not going to sustain a marriage, but assignment does because affection changed.

Because if you talk to many married people, they're like, Well, when we first got together, everything was all awesome.

Yeah, because you guys was both fronting, and then now you guys are both the real you, and now with the real you showed up, there's a ton of problems.

He wasn't like that.

Yes, he was, he just fooled you.

She wasn't like that, she was so kind, yeah, to get you to the altar.

Now she's not, and we built on affection, not on assignment.

And when God designed marriage, he spoke little about affection.

Oh, but he spoke a whole lot about assignment.

If you have your Bibles, go to Genesis chapter 1.

Genesis 1 · chapter mention

And we're gonna eat today, like the young generation says, and we're gonna try to leave no crumbs.

Cool?

I don't know what all that means, but we're gonna find out.

And someone said a period, so we're gonna end the sentence with that.

You know, having a birthday and getting older with all my gray, just trying to stay up to date.

You know what I'm saying?

Genesis chapter 1, verse 27 says, So God called, I mean, so God created a man in his own image.

Genesis 1:27

In the image of God, he created him, male and female, he created them.

Then God blessed them and said to them, Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth and subdue it.

Have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on earth.

Now let's read it again.

I want to point out some things God did not say.

So God created men in his own image, in the image of God, he created him, male and female, he created them.

Then God blessed them and said to them, He did not say, Love each other and stare in each other's eyes, have a divine romance and slow dance in the kitchen.

I'm not saying you can't do that.

That's awesome.

I wanna do that.

We do that, right?

But this ain't what God said.

He said, be fruitful.

When the last time you was on a date, you was like, hey, can we be fruitful together?

Like, bro, you're never gonna land a date if you say that.

Can we multiply?

Can you like get off my phone?

You know what I'm saying?

Can we like feel the earth and like subdue it?

Like, that's kind of what I want to do in the marriage.

I mean, this stuff sounds weird, and I'm gonna break down what it means in modern terms and have dominion over the fish.

We got dominion over the fish of the sea, babe, over the birds of the air, like all that's ours, over every living thing that moves on the earth, except for mosquitoes, because we don't like them.

Like, we good, we good.

But if you look, this is what God put in motion.

This is what God put in place.

So, so, so, the problem is we never talk about this when it comes to dating.

We never talk about this when it when it comes to marriage.

Have you ever got the person that that you were dating and you was like, hey, what are we gonna have dominion over together?

What are we gonna subdue together?

What is our purpose?

What if our what is our assignment?

Because look at the order of God.

God created male and female, and then this is the first thing he gave them was his image, right?

So you need to be with someone, his image, it means the mago day in Latin.

You have to be with someone in his image, someone that that you are the amago day, but someone that's walking in the image of God.

And then after God gave them image, the second thing he gave them was assignment.

Assignment, assignment, assignment.

Hey, this is what you're supposed to do together.

You're supposed to have dominion, you're supposed to subdue the earth, you're supposed to fill it, you're supposed to be fruitful, multiply.

In other words, we're gonna build kingdom kids that change the world.

We're gonna raise up a family of prayer warriors that change the world, people that love Jesus.

And we're gonna ask God, what is our sphere of influence and what do we bring to it?

What's the purpose?

What's the assignment for the marriage?

There has to be an assignment, and you have to understand that assignment because God made marriage for assignment, not for romance, not for affection.

And here's the deal romance and affection is the result of a marriage, but it's not the foundation of a marriage.

A foundation of the marriage is the assignment.

What is God gonna do through your union?

And everybody walking around trying to find someone fine, and I get that you try to find someone fine, but you better be trying to find someone that has the mind of God because they find ain't gonna raise your kids, they find ain't gonna pay your bills, they mind gonna raise your kids, they mind gonna pay your bills.

You need someone with the mind of God and the mind of Christ don't care about someone just being fine.

Do you have the mind of Christ?

Do you have his mind?

Do you think like God?

Do you act like God?

Do you understand God's ways?

Because that's what's gonna raise my son into a man of God, that's what's gonna raise my daughter into the man of God.

And if they find two, praise God.

Hey, how you doing?

How you doing right?

But that's not where we start.

We start with can we have dominion together?

What's our assignment?

What can we accomplish together?

And when we are when we have understanding on that, and when we know what God wants to do with that, when we know God's plan for us together, now we can properly build.

Now we can properly communicate, now we can get order and we can get function.

Most marriages are falling apart because they're out of order.

You're building on nothing but emotion.

And emotion is so frail because it's here today and it's gone tomorrow.

We're together because we love just being with each other.

There's gonna come a time where you hate being with each other.

Then what?

It's the assignment that keeps you knitted together, it's the assignment that draws you back together, it's the assignment that keeps the candle burning because romance will last one and a half years at best, six months at worst.

Oh, but you want to know what last a lifetime?

The assignment that Jesus Christ has assigned you both to.

Romance is great, and the closer we get to what God has us doing, it actually brings us back together.

It brings the romance back together, it brings our heart back together.

I'm not saying you can't have romance young people, and you can't slow dance and look in his eyes and say, No, you hang up first.

No, you hang up on three hang up.

I'm gonna hang up on both of y'all, because this ain't finna last.

Man, I love when I see new couples, I'll just be laughing out.

I'm like, ha ha.

You don't even tell them.

They'd be like, So, like, what is it like to be married for like 10 years?

Like, yeah, it's great.

And not that it's not, because it really is when you do it God's way.

But it's hard to make two people work, because first of all, man, first of all, everybody, you just come from different backgrounds, like the way you do and the way they do it in God is funny.

Like, He is literally gonna bring you somebody that literally is like different than you.

Everything you want to do, they want to do the opposite.

You want to make sure the tissue hangs down.

Why?

Because tissue is supposed to hang down, but no, they want to flip the tissue the other way and let the tissue hang up.

But here's the argument if we ever had a cat, the cat wouldn't take all the tissue off the roll if it hangs up, but if it hung down, the cat couldn't get it.

So all you that put the tissue this way, the tissue should go that way, says the Lord.

He didn't say it, but I'm saying it on his behalf.

And I know we don't got a cat, but if we did, tissue would be everywhere.

And you don't know what it's like every time you go to the bathroom, you gotta pull that thing off and flip the tissue.

We've been together for 17 years, married for over 10.

And every time we both go to the bathroom, we flip that tissue.

Boom.

She put it, I put it back.

We've been doing it for years, and we ain't gonna stop until the Lord, until she hears God that He wants the tissue this way.

But if she don't hear the Lord, I'm gonna be a persistent husband to continue leading my wife in the ways of the Lord, okay?

What I'm saying is this you need something bigger than just your feelings for each other.

You need your assignment from God.

He has a purpose and a plan.

Can we give him a shout of praise for that?

Go to Genesis chapter 2, verse 18.

Genesis 2:18

Genesis 2, 18.

I'm gonna break this thing down so you guys understand this assignment.

Genesis 2, 18.

And it reads.

And the Lord God said, It is not good that man should be alone.

God said that.

I will make him a helper comparable to him.

Out of the ground, the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them.

And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was his name.

So Adam gave names to all the cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field.

But for Adam, there was not found a helper comparable to him.

And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept, and he took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh in its place.

Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from the man, he made into a woman and brought her to the man.

And brought her to the man.

Just wanted to highlight he brought her to the man.

Okay.

So let's let's just kind of establish this.

Um the first thing we see is this God is in creation.

And we go to Genesis 1 and God's creating up to Genesis 2.

And here's what God said about creation.

After the first day of creation, God was like, and then the Lord said, It was good.

Day two, it was good.

Day three, it was good, it was good, it was good.

God was saying everything was good, it was good, it was good.

All of creation was good, and then finally, when God saw the man, women of God, without you, God said, This ain't good.

Which means everything was good on this planet until there was a man without a woman by his side.

And when God saw this earth without a woman by the man's side, he said, It's not good.

And the reason why I think he says not good, because the brother probably wasn't saving or bathing, but we ain't gonna get on that.

This ain't good.

But let's go to some deeper biblical reasons, those are just kind of my imagination, maybe that mixed in too.

But God said, This isn't good.

In other words, women of God, that God, the creator, made everything in this earth, and he said, It ain't good until you show up.

Which means, women of God, there's something that you carry that is so magnificent, that is so that is so amazing, that that is so incredible that God says until you show up, it's not good.

It's not good that He be alone.

That we need you to show up, that you are valuable, women.

I just want you to know you're valuable, you are so valuable that the word that it was used to create Adam, it wasn't used to create you.

The word that was used to create Adam, it actually means the motor, throw together.

Like men was just thrown together.

That's why we look like this.

We just thrown together.

The Bible says that a woman was built by God.

In other words, he rolled up his sleeves and he formed her and he fashioned her.

Like, like man, you was made out of dirt.

God says she ain't gonna be made out of dirt, she made out of you.

In other words, we're gonna let we're gonna let there be formation before I create her.

I'm not gonna just create her from a from a uh a bowl of clay.

No, no, no.

We're gonna have formation.

She was made from you, she was sculpted and crafted by God, she was built, and God did her architecture.

She is incredible.

And God saw the man, and the man was naming animals, and he was doing his thing.

Adam was out there, he was horse, dog, frog, bird, hawk, eagle, he's naming everything.

And God's like, the brother needs some help.

And God said, Let me make him a helper comparable to him.

And when we think of God making a helper, we think of God making his little assistant, this little assistant that just comes and cooks and cleans and does the laundry.

And that's not the term of a helper.

We think of a helper like something lesser, something weaker, something insignificant.

And the reason why we think of that is because of the way the word helper was translated.

So we gotta go to the Hebrew to see the word helper.

And the word helper in the Hebrew means Ezer.

It means Ezer.

In other words, she was Ezer.

Ezer means a strong strength coming to aid and assist.

A strong strength coming to aid and assist.

Do you know Ezer is the word we use of God when God helps his people?

When God's people was in despair all throughout the Bible, the word Ezre would come because God, as Ezre, would show up as a strong help and as a strong assist to come assist his people.

Women of God, God says you're Ezre.

You're a strong help.

You're not just a weak help.

No, you're a strong help.

That the same help that God brings, the word says you bring that help and you bring that assistance.

You are Ezher, you are strong.

And it said a little weak help.

In other words, if I needed to remove a if I need to move refrigerator, I ain't going to find somebody weak.

I'm like, big guy, you come help.

You know what I'm saying?

Why?

Because if I'm getting help, I'm trying to make sure the help is stronger than me.

Because I need to move something.

I want you to know something about women.

We were always taught women are weaker than men.

First of all, that don't make sense because if you've been around men and women, you know that ain't true.

You know it ain't true.

And when we use scripture to justify, we say the Bible says she's the weaker vessel.

Duh.

It says she's a weaker vessel, not the weaker person.

Her body's weaker, but her soul isn't weaker.

She is strong and she has strength sometimes that men never have.

The power to forgive.

You ain't see forgiveness like a woman.

I still struggle forgiving.

You cross me, I'm like, hold on, what?

A woman can forgive, they can let things go, they can assist, they can hold a family together and hold you together and hold kids together and hold the home together.

I remember telling my wife, I'm probably stronger than you.

She left me and my daughter for two hours.

I'm like, come on.

I can't handle that.

I ain't strong enough.

Yeah, I can lift everything in the house, but I can't hold that house together.

Why?

It requires Ezre, a divine strength to come and hold things together.

Women of God, you are strong.

You're not just some meaningful little help and some little assistant.

You are the Ezre of God.

You are a strength to come.

Hey, I'm telling you, when he's broken, you're gonna get a prayer through on his behalf when he don't know which way to go.

You're gonna be a God and a compass.

Most men are praying for help while they're laying next to it.

She is Ezher, and the Bible says she's Ezer connecto, which means that connecto means that she's a comparable counterpart.

It means she's a face-to-face.

She ain't but below you or beneath you.

No, she's a comparable to you.

She's a help that can assist.

She is qualified for the job.

That God looked at your assignment and He says, You can't get this done by yourself.

I'm sending Ezra Connecto, someone that can stand face to face with you and say, Let's take down this mission, let's take down this project, let's take it down.

We can do it under the power and the authority of God.

She's Ezra Connecto.

So, ladies, you're not just here to be a good time, you're not just here to be a good night.

You're here to build things on the kingdom for the kingdom of God.

You're Ezra Connecto.

You gotta know who you are, women of God.

Women of God.

It reminds me of this funny story.

And the story of this this this woman, she was married to the mayor, and they was going through a they was going through a parade, and then they saw her ex-boyfriend, and he just worked at a gas station.

And the mayor was like, ha ha ha, you could have been with him, but now you're married to the mayor.

Ain't you glad God put you with me?

She said, No, you better be glad God put me with you because if I would have been married to him, he would have been the mayor and you would have been working at a gas station.

Don't play, homie.

Don't play.

In other words, women, you gotta know your worth and what you bring to the table.

You are Ezerconnecto that God saw the earth and it wasn't good till you showed up.

You're Ezerconnecto.

You are a helper.

But here's the problem with most marriages you got a helper and you don't need no help.

And now you guys are fighting because she's trying to help, and you don't have an assignment.

And you don't have an assignment because you're not in alignment with the one who assigned.

And we have to get in alignment with God.

You have to get in assignment.

God, what did you call me to do?

What is this marriage called to do?

And some of you guys say, Well, I don't know what I'm supposed to do or what I'm supposed to build.

First thing you're supposed to build is kingdom kids.

You're supposed to build up your children, kids that would change the world, aiming those arrows into the things of God.

And then, secondly, the Bible says, have dominion, which comes from the word kingdom.

Your job is to bring the king's dominion to earth.

That way, everything on earth looks like heaven, everything on earth operates like heaven, the peace of heaven, the love of heaven, the joy of heaven.

You're to bring all that on earth, which means if you don't know what to do, you're to serve God's people, you're to serve God's house, you're to serve God's kingdom.

And God's gonna send you Ezra Connector to come next to you, to serve together, to build together, to pray together, to love together, to build together.

This is the plan and the will of God.

And most people don't have assignment, so they just get in marriages and attack each other.

What is the assignment?

And I'm gonna say this I'm not saying that men of God are weak either.

Because look at what God gave him.

God gave him the whole earth and said, Hey, you name everything on the planet, whatever you call it, it'll be.

That a man had something from God, he had creative prowess, he had the ability to identify and to give identity and image to things.

In other words, God says, I'm gonna give him so much authority, I'm gonna give him so much honor that he's gonna have such, he's gonna be such a radiant man that whatever he calls it, it'll be.

Which means if he says lion, it's a lion.

If he says bird, it's a bird.

If he says cow, it's a cow.

If he says horse, it's a horse.

In other words, God says, the way I created with my mouth, I put the same creator power in his mouth, and he would call things, and they would be what he said it will be.

But men of God, be careful with that authority because what are you calling your marriage?

What are you calling your spouse?

What are you calling your kids?

God says, What you call it, it'll be.

Watch how you speak because he put power and authority in your mouth.

The men are strong, they're strong, and you have this association.

Assignment, but you need Ezra Connect go, you need somebody to come alongside of you and to help you build this assignment, someone that can help you do amazing things.

And if you're a single man in this room, I want to advise you here's what you do you spend your time getting aligned with God and figuring out your assignment.

God, what did you assign me to do?

Because you're gonna send a helper comparable, a Ezra connecto to come beside me on my assignment.

You're not just looking for romance, you're looking for assignment.

And when you're working, then the Lord's gonna see it's not good that you be alone because the work needs your counterpart.

And then at that point, here's what happened: the Bible says that God caused Adam to go into a deep sleep.

Maybe you're not finding your spouse because you're too busy looking for them.

Maybe Adam going into a sleep was a metaphor that some of you guys just need to take a break and you need to rest in the Lord.

And as you begin to rest, watch God work.

As you begin to rest, watch God work.

You're so busy trying to find a wife, you didn't take time to find your wife.

Take a season to find your life.

Who am I in God?

What is my assignment?

What have you called me to, God?

And when you get in that, God's gonna say, Okay, now it's not good that you be alone.

You're in your assignment, and then he went to sleep, and as he went to sleep, God took one of his ribs and he fashioned a wife.

Let me tell you something that's so good about your God.

God is so good that every time he takes something from you, he brings something back so much better than what he took from you.

God took a rib, but he brought a wife.

He took a rib, but he brought a wife.

He took a rib, but he brought a wife.

Every time God takes something from you, he brings something greater than what he took back to you.

He fashioned her into a wife.

And I want to say, I don't want to say that the Bible says, God brought Eve to Adam.

God brought Eve to Adam.

God's gonna bring her to you.

You don't have to make this happen.

You don't, you don't, God's gonna do it for you.

God's gonna make it happen.

Ah, the Lord will make it happen.

But I want to show you the sequence of bringing his wife because the first thing that God wanted to do is this.

You know, God could have made her from the dirt too, but God says, No.

I'm gonna make her out of you.

And he took his own body to make his wife.

Because your wife is a part of your body, she's bone of your bone, flesh of your flesh.

And the reason why he took her from your body is so when you see her, you would see you, so you will treat her like you treat you.

I love me, so I'm gonna love you.

I serve me, so I'm gonna serve you.

I care about me, so I'm gonna care about you.

I don't want to hurt me, so I don't want to hurt you.

When you see her, you're to see your own body.

She came out of out of out of Adam's body, she came out of his sight, and I want to show you something prophetically here because God didn't take her out of his head because God didn't want her to be above him, but he also didn't take her out of his feet because he didn't want her to be below him, he took her out of here out of his side because God wanted her to be beside him, and she would be beside him all the days of his life, operating in the assignment that God gave him.

Both and his bride came out of his side, his bride came out of his side, his bride came out of his side, and your bride will always come out of your side, it would always come out of your flesh, and that's why and God did something so cool.

When he took her out of his side, God closed up the place of flesh.

Why?

Because whenever God gets ready to send a wife, he closes up the place of flesh.

Man, you have some flesh on you, and God said, No, we're gonna walk in the spirit, we're gonna close up that place of flesh, we're gonna get you to become the man of God you're supposed to be.

You have a helper comparable, she's gonna help you close up the place of flesh.

Your bride comes out of your side, and I'm gonna show you this as a picture on the cross because as Jesus was hanging on the cross, one of the Roman soldiers came and he had a spear and he pierced Jesus on the side and blood oozed out.

And why?

When he got pierced on the side, it was to make sure he was dead or sleeping.

Why?

Because his bride was coming out of his side, and then Jesus went into a sleep, and when he resurrected, guess what?

The bride of Christ was born, the church was born because it was the same pattern in Genesis that it was on the cross that a man would go, and then he would he would open his side would be opened up, and then blood would come out, it would give birth to his bride, and then when he wakes up, his bride will be born.

When Jesus woke up from the dead, the church was born.

This is the mystery of God.

That's why the Bible says in Ephesians, this is a great mystery, and the Bible is talking about Christ because the same way a husband birthed his wife is the same way Jesus birthed the church.

This is a great mystery.

She comes out of you.

That's why the Bible says you guys will become one because you were already one, and now you guys are gonna be joined back together as one flesh.

So, this is what you have to understand.

You have to understand the assignment of the marriage.

Everyone say the assignment of the marriage.

You have to understand the assignment of the marriage, and this is foundation.

You have to understand the assignment of the marriage, and then you understand the assignment to the marriage.

That's good.

There's the assignment of the marriage.

What are you guys supposed to do together?

What are you guys supposed to build together?

What are you guys supposed to subdue together?

Then the assignment of the marriage is how do you guys function together?

Because here's what happens we we understand the assignment of the marriage, but we don't understand the assignment to the marriage.

So what we start doing is we start cherry-picking virtues out of context, and we start abusing these virtues and alienating these verses, walking around the house, talking about some, yeah, God says submit to me.

Uh, yeah, in context, in context, submit to you.

What you what are you what are you doing?

You in here watching the game on the couch in a recliner, talking about submit to you?

Really?

You're a boy who shapes.

How do I submit to you?

What are you doing for me to submit to?

When God asked a woman to submit, she was submitting to something.

And you have to understand that when she was asked to submit, it wasn't because she was a weaker, lesser person.

She is your equal.

You guys, your equal in person, you're just distinct in operation.

In other words, sometimes you're like, Well, you go to work, you submit to your balls, but you don't even come home and submit to me.

Yes, because there's a mission at the job, and we're accomplishing an assignment.

We don't have one at home for me to submit to.

What are we doing for me to submit to?

You walking around not leading, not reading your ball Bible, not looking like Jesus, wanting me to submit.

No, no, no.

I'm not asked to submit because you're greater than me.

I'm asked to submit because of your position in the assignment.

So, yes, at work, when my boss says, Hey, be here at nine, I'm there at nine because I'm submitted to the assignment.

That's it.

And if and I need to know what's the assignment of the marriage so I can submit to that.

There is a place, there is a role, there's a function of the marriage.

And when we understand the function of the marriage, we can play our roles in the marriage because you have an assignment of the marriage, but you are assigned to the marriage.

Go to Ephesians 5, I'll make it make sense.

You guys enjoying this?

Good deal.

I got a couple of minutes, so let's let's let's move fast.

Ephesians 5.

Ephesians 5, verse 21.

Ephesians 5:21

You guys are there saying, ready?

Okay.

It says, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Wives, submit yourself to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.

For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church, his body of which he is Savior.

Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands and everything.

Husbands, love your wives just as Christ has loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church without a stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

And this way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.

He who loves his wife loves himself.

I'm gonna jump to verse 33.

However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wise must respect her husband.

Now, I want to tell you something about your spouse or your future spouse.

If you're single or dating, that you may not know.

Here's the first thing I want to tell you.

God knows more about your spouse or your future spouse than you do.

And I want to say this God knows more about your spouse than they know about themselves.

Want me to tell you why God knows what a man needs?

Because he's the one that created the man.

I'm gonna tell you why God knows what a woman needs, he's the one that created a woman.

He put the functions inside of them so he knows what they need.

So the first person you're gonna listen to when it comes down to what a man needs, and a woman needs is not a man.

She, well, you need to listen to a man, know what a man needs.

No, you don't.

A man don't tell you what he needs, he'll tell you what he wants.

And sometimes what he wants ain't what he needs.

Sometimes a woman will tell you what she wants, not what she needs.

Yeah, I just need a new purse.

No, you need a man of God to lead you closer to the throne room of Jesus.

You want a purse, we can get that, and we're gonna lead you to Jesus too.

Get the purse, bro.

Get the purse too.

I'm just saying.

It'd be a lot easier to lead her to Jesus, you get that purse.

I'm just saying.

All right, back to Jesus.

Um, so it says, respect your husband.

Why did God say respect your husband?

Because God knew he becomes the best version of himself when he's respected.

Men do anything for respect, they do anything for honor, they do anything for an atta boy.

Men do anything.

Do you know that men die a lot younger than women?

Why?

Because we're stupid.

We'll do anything to be respected.

We'll go, we'll we'll go jump off the roof.

Oh, bam, broke our foot.

Why?

I wasn't scared to jump.

Like, men, a man would slide down a mountain of razors into a pool of lemon just to hear, you the man, bro.

This is men, this is me.

A woman would be like, hey, what's that?

Forget y'all.

I'm gone.

Got time for this.

Men got time for that because men do everything for honor, they do everything for respect.

The reason you're not getting the best version of him is because you keep disrespecting him.

Men shut down and they literally begin to glitch when they're disrespected.

Why?

Because they was not designed to be disrespected.

Literally, God respects your husband.

God holds him in high esteem.

God comes to Adam and He says, Adam, though I created the planet, whatever you call it, it'll be.

Whatever you name it, it'll be.

I've given you that authority, that honor.

Why?

Because God says, You have a part of my nature inside of you, and I put that in you, and you need that, you need that respect and that honor and that trust to be the best version of yourself.

I love watching, I love watching like Animal Planet and watching lions.

It's such a beautiful picture because they literally carry some of the nature of God.

You see a male lion and his mane is just blowing in the wind, his shoulders is back, and and he's in high esteem, and everyone's regarding him.

Your husband has that inside of him, and you keep walking past him, disrespecting him.

God respects him.

And you mean to tell me you can't?

God speaks to him honorably, and you don't?

The Bible says, respect him as you do, Jesus.

When was the last time you said, shut up, Jesus?

You stupid, Jesus.

You don't know what you're talking about, Jesus.

You dumb, Jesus.

You don't know how to lead, Jesus.

If you don't talk to Jesus like that, the Bible says, don't talk to him like that.

And all of the men say, Brother, I'm out here putting it out here for y'all.

I might not make it, I might not make it home.

I'm gonna need y'all to shout me down.

Come on, man, come on.

Where you at?

Where y'all at?

I might be on the couch for all of y'all tonight.

Where you at?

There we go.

Honor.

Men do everything for honor.

Women, your husband is so simple.

He's so simple.

He gets the trash, he takes it out, he throws it in the trash.

He comes in the house.

Babe, you took out the trash.

You're such a good man of God.

Thank you so much for taking out the trash.

Oh, really?

Okay, well, I get some more trash then.

Let me go find some more trash.

Here goes the trash.

Oh, more trash out.

He takes your car.

He put gas in your car.

He comes home.

Babe, you're the best husband.

You take care of us.

Y'all should put bass in the car.

Y'all put gas in the car.

Oh, really?

I go wash it.

When we go watch the car, I'm gonna go watch the car.

Why?

Because men do everything for honor.

He does everything for honor.

You treat him well, he'll slap a bear.

You disrespect him and he will cower down.

Why?

Because every man has two things in him.

Every man has a kid in him and a king in him.

You get the one you talk to.

If you talk to the kid and the man, he won't be much.

He won't live up to his standards and he won't be great.

Oh, but if you talk to the king and a man, you say, baby, you can do it.

You can lead this family, you can build this business, you can build the kingdom of God.

He would rise to the standard and be the man of God, God made him to be.

Oh, can give me a praise break in this place.

Now, God said, husbands, love your wives.

As Christ loved the church.

There's so many men, man, my wife killing me.

Well, you said you wanted to be like Jesus, didn't you?

Because his wife killed him.

To be a husband is painful.

We saw that Adam had his side open up and a rib snatched out.

That hurts.

Jesus was pinned on the cross.

That hurts.

To be a husband is painful.

You are the sacrificial leader that gives yourself and lay down your life for your bride.

It is a painful job.

And before you got on that knee, you should know that.

It is painful.

And you're to give yourself, you're to love her as Christ has loved the church.

Why did the Bible say love her?

Because he knew she needed something that you would not need.

Women need security.

Your love secures her.

The Bible calls it an agape love.

It means a love without working, requiring, or performance.

She needs to know you're gonna love her.

Even if she gains a little weight, you're gonna love her.

Even when she bears your kids, you're gonna love her.

No matter what season you're in, you're gonna always love her.

Your love is consistent and it's not nothing to be taken away from her.

It's not nothing to hang over her head.

When she knows she has that safety, she's the best version of herself.

But when she doesn't have that love and that assurance and that support, then she glitches and don't be everything God's called her to be.

She needs security, she needs a plan.

She needs to know money is being saved.

She needs to know money's in the bank.

She needs to know there's a plan for the kids, there's a plan for the future, there's a plan for the marriage.

She needs security.

Jesus has secured the church.

We know that we're securing Christ.

He secured, He secured our history, He secured our eternity.

We're seated in heavenly places.

He's given us great security in Him.

You're to give her security.

She should know that she's safe inside of you.

And even submission, we have to break down what the word submission means.

The word sub means below.

So sub means below.

If we get sub, if we go sub-zero degrees, that means we're below zero.

A submarine goes below the water.

Sub means below.

Mission means assignment.

What a woman submits to is she comes under the assignment.

Under the assignment.

You want her to submit, but there's no assignment.

Her job is to come under the assignment.

How do I come under the assignment when we don't have one?

She submits.

She submits.

She submits.

And submission is a beautiful picture because the Bible calls the husband the head of the wife.

What is a head?

A head is a leader.

Um, um, um, Jesus is the head of the church, a business owner is the head of the business, the president is the head of our country.

A head means that you have a role where you're the top seat, just in row, not in intrinsic value, just in row.

He's the head.

And I want to show you something because if you're to submit, you're to come underneath the head.

The greatest picture of submission you have is on your own body.

Because if you look at your head, right under it is a neck.

And the neck is up holding the head.

The neck is moving the head to the left, moving the head to the right, moving the head up, moving the head down.

And for all the days of your life, your neck has been right there holding up your head, supporting your head, keeping your head stabilized and strong.

That's what a great woman of God comes and does.

She sits under you, she holds you up, she keeps you strong, she keeps you in position, she makes sure you reach your potential.

And if you're holding up the head, guess what?

Your neck gotta be strong to assist the head, to make sure the head can do what it needs.

I need to be able to see you guys right now.

If my neck wasn't here, I can't see nothing.

My neck is the reason why the head can see.

Women of God, you're the reason why he can see.

The neck is where the oxygen flows through.

You're the reason why this marriage can breathe.

The neck has a great assignment to support the head.

And what if my neck said it wanted to be a head?

All of a sudden it just became a monster because it's out of order.

You don't submit because you less than you submit because you understand the assignment.

You understand the assignment, and this is what God is doing through both of you guys that there's a purpose, there's a plan.

You're to love her, you're to give yourself for her.

The Bible says, love her, leaving her without spot, wrinkle, or blemish.

In other words, your love shall iron out her wrinkles.

Your love should iron out her blemishes, her spots.

It should wash it out.

You should have such a great love for her.

All the way to the point the Bible says, the way Jesus loved the church, that's how you should love her.

But on the flip side, the way the church respects Jesus, that's how you're to respect him.

And this is a great mystery because it's talking about Christ in the church, but it's talking about you and your spouse.

You have to understand the you have to understand the assignment of the marriage, but you also have to understand the assignment to the marriage.

Women, naturally, they need that love, they need that support, they need to know, they need the reassurance.

Babe, you really want to talk about this again?

Yes, and again, and again, and another one.

Why?

Because she needs assurances.

I learned this early in marriage.

I remember one time my wife and I were getting ready to go at the roadhouse.

She came out in some pants and she was like, babe, babe, babe, how these pants look?

I was like, Oh yeah, those pants look good.

She said, Good.

I'm not gonna nothing up.

I'm like, what just happened?

But I'm a fast learner.

She went and put on some other pants.

She came out, babe, babe, babe, what did these pants look like?

I said, girl, let me tell you about those pants.

In those jazz looking, girl, let me tell you about girl, those, whoa, those pants look amazing.

Oh, okay, I guess we can go then.

Let's go to her own house.

Why?

She needs security.

She needs security, and when she's secure, she'll blossom and be the woman of God you always dreamed of her being.

And when he is respected, he will blossom and be the man of God you need him to be.

Everyone stand to your feet.

Wow.

What a powerful message.

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