Falseship | Pastor Rick Wright | The Church at CW

John chapter 12, continuing our series on the friendship, and looking there in John and also Matthew 26 this morning.

John 12 · chapter mention

As you're turning there, I want to tell you about the most exciting thing that happens right in Westover.

Harpersville, if you count our mailbox.

I don't know where we're at.

We're Chelsea, Westover, Harpersville, Wilsonville, Stere.

I don't know where this church is, but we're here.

And uh October the 25th is Harvest Jam.

I want you to put it on your calendar because next week is October, and that means we are just about a month out.

And anyhow, a couple of things that are different.

Now, there's usually 1500, 1,700 people on campus enjoying this fall festival that we have, and we need a lot of hands for help.

But something we've brought back this year that I just want to let you know, and a little competition, okay?

Is it okay to have friendly competition?

Sometimes unfriendly.

It's okay.

Either way.

So that's pretty good.

It's a lot of money on Virgo.

So it would make a great weekend in the fall time, anyhow.

Um, so you can register for all that online, and we just want to see you get involved.

This church owners Sunday night.

We change that.

All you football loving people, Sunday night is harvest jam this year.

So we're hoping that we have lots of uh people involved, and it's gonna be a great night.

A couple other things.

Uh, one, if you didn't grab a bulletin on your way in, um, the guys told me to remind you, just raise your hand, they can get you one.

We've got some printed, and we'll get those around.

And then I want you to pray for my friend.

Darren Hyde lost uh his aunt, and the funeral is gonna be this week.

So Tuesday, if y'all would pray for Darren and the family, I know that they would appreciate your prayers on that.

Hearts are with you.

Darren, we love you.

All right, there in John chapter 12.

John 12 · chapter mention

As you turn there, the first thing I want you to see this morning is false hearts cultivate sin.

Got a question for you.

How many of you know somebody named John?

How about Andrew?

How about Thomas?

Got one here.

How about um Matthew?

Same family, Thomas and Matthew.

Anyone know someone named Judas?

Maybe a dog.

Probably not a good one.

The name Judas is a name that we look at and hear betrayal.

We hear disgrace and we hear treachery.

But I submit to you, there was a time where a mother looked down at a baby with eyes of love, and there was Judas.

In Luke 6, and I had to traverse all of Luke, but in Luke 6, this might surprise you, Jesus called and chose Judas.

I want you to go with me on a scene.

We'll get kind of to the end of the story, and then we'll backtrack through in the points.

But the scene, the night is dark, and Jesus has gone aside and he is in anguish.

He is praying.

Sweat drops of blood are falling from his face.

And as he's in the place of prayer off in the distance, he hears a noise that's clamoring.

He begins to hear the sound of armor clanking.

He comes back to the place of prayer, and the disciples are sleeping.

And suddenly a crowd of people begins surrounding what was the place of prayer.

And in that crowd outsteps a man with hypocrisy hissing from his lips as he says, Hail Rabbi.

Betrayal with a kiss.

A kiss of death.

That's the scene that sort of encapsulates this story of Judas.

But something that's been on my heart all week, and I'm going to give you this verse, we'll tie it in later, we'll pray.

But Psalms 139, and I want y'all as we pray, this be your prayer to my prayer.

Psalms 139 says, Search me, O God, know my heart.

See if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

This was the prayer Judas needed.

This is the prayer that we need this morning.

Would you pray with me?

Lord, we commit that prayer to you.

Search our hearts, not flippantly, but God, right now.

I pray for every person under the sound of your word this morning.

Search our hearts.

God, for some, we cannot go another step in the direction that a person may be in.

For some this morning, they need the illumination that what they're doing isn't working.

For some, God, they need to help someone.

God, whatever it is, I pray that you would search right now, God, our hearts.

Lord, if there's anything grievous in us, Lord, we pray for leading.

God, we don't want to leave here the same as we came.

Or what was the purpose?

So, God, I pray that you would open your word, share with us, change us, mold us, make us.

We ask in Jesus' name.

Amen.

Letter A, we see this: Judas lived with silent greed.

I want you to look there in John 12 as we backtrack to some of the signs that would maybe get us to this point in the garden of betrayal.

There's some signs.

In John 12, 1 through 6, it says, six days before the Passover, Jesus came to Bethany, where Lazarus was, whom Jesus had raised.

So they gave a dinner for him there.

Martha served, and Lazarus, one of those reclining with him at the table.

Mary, look at this, therefore took a pound of expensive ointment made from pure nard and anointed the feet of Jesus and wiped his feet with her hair.

The house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume.

But Judas Iscariot, one of his disciples, he who was about to betray him, said, Why was this ointment not sold for 300 denarii and give it to the poor?

He said, This is not because he cared about the poor, but because he was a thief.

And having charge of the money bag, he used to help himself to what was put into it.

So I want you to see Judas' objection.

He sees Mary in a very heartfelt moment, using this ointment, putting her hair to the feet of Jesus, and in effect, a very worshipful moment.

And Judas stands and calls this moment of worship out.

What was behind his objection?

What was really behind it?

What was behind it was he was a thief and he carried the money box.

And you know, he immediately calls out, he knows amounts, right?

He knows what this would cost.

He says, that's 300 dinar, which is a year's labor.

Why would she waste all of this good money?

How many of you are math people?

Money people?

Any of you, your dollar bills all got to go in the same direction?

The people I'm asking are thinking, like, are you psychotic?

Is there any other way?

Listen, I'll mess you all up.

I got a box next to my dresser, my nightstand, and I throw dollar bills in there just for fun.

I have no idea how much money's in there.

Now it's not some amazing amount, but they're everywhere.

They're crumpled, they're folded.

If it's some of y'all that just raised your hand, it would disgust you, wouldn't it?

You're like, what's wrong with you?

I'll pray for you, Pastor.

Judas was in charge of the money box.

He knew what was in it, and he knew what he could get.

But picture this moment.

Mary does this, and whatever it takes for a person to get to their knees, put ointment in their hair in front of a group of people, whatever heart it takes, if you can imagine that for a moment.

And Judas takes his moment to call it out, this extravagant moment of worship, and he criticizes it.

What is he doing?

He cannot take the act of worship, and what he's doing is he's showing his own spiritual bankruptcy.

He's exposing his own heart during her extravagant worship.

Her love for Jesus revealed how far Judas really was from loving Jesus.

You know, the Bible does this to us.

Hebrews 4.12 says the word of God is quick and powerful, sharper than any two-edged sword, even to the deciding, uh to the dividing asunder of the heart, the intents and thoughts of the heart.

When we look at the word of God, it becomes a mirror to who we are.

Mary's worship was a mirror of who Joseph was in this money.

He couldn't understand why someone could give all their worship and they're wasting all this good money.

This audacious display.

How could this be?

Well, Matthew 6, 24, church, says this.

You and I and nobody else can serve two masters.

It says, you cannot serve God and mammon.

Mammon is the word that means material that is our master.

You cannot live for material and trust in material in a way that it becomes our master.

Timothy said it this way that the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil.

Look, you need money.

It's not the root of all evil, all kinds of evil.

But this we know, the God of Christianity and the God of money are irreconcilable.

It says, you can't live for both.

It says, one or the other.

And you've only got, listen to me, you've only got one heart.

So open up that heart this morning.

Search me, know my heart.

What is the master of that heart?

It could be something outside of money, but scripture specifically says, you cannot live for God.

And material that you're trusting for your happiness, material that you're trusting for the end of your life, material, some gain that you are putting your trust in, God or that.

Marshall Siegel said this they cannot room together in the human heart.

If you find yourself serving money, consumed with earning, gathering, and spending, by definition, you are not serving God.

Judas fell in love with the gift instead of the giver of gifts.

If Jesus looked at our bank statement today, who is our master?

Judas lived with his silent greed, but let her be.

Judas lived in spiritual hypocrisy.

I want you to turn to Matthew 26.

We saw a sign there.

Judas in the money box.

Look at Matthew 26, go down to verse 14.

Then one of the twelve, whose name was Judas Iscariot, went to the chief priests and said, What will you give me if I deliver him over to you?

And they paid him thirty pieces of silver, and from that moment on he sought an opportunity to betray him.

See, Judas wasn't an obvious betrayer.

It wasn't obvious to the disciples that were serving with him.

I used to give this illustration when I would lead somebody to the Lord or when I'm counseling through with somebody.

Imagine Christmas morning.

How many of your parents?

Imagine Christmas morning, and you've bought all these gifts, and your children walk down the steps toward the Christmas tree, and there's gifts and boxes with their name on it.

And they come down Christmas morning, they look at the gifts and boxes and things with their name on it, and they go like this.

And you say, Come on, little Johnny, your gifts and Christmas is right here, ready for you.

And Johnny says, I don't want it.

You say, But John, these are your gifts.

We put love and thought.

We got things on the list.

And Johnny says, I am not gonna have the gift.

You'd say, That is crazy.

You'd say, I'd have a heart attack, Pastor.

My kids did that.

Judas for three years was on the most intense mission trip anyone's ever heard of.

He saw people that were raised from the dead.

He saw wind stopping its track at Jesus' word.

He saw blinded eyes that could see.

He saw all these things, but he passed the present.

Can you imagine?

Judas never opened his heart to the gift.

Why?

Isaiah 29, 13 says this, and this is sobering, church.

These people draw nigh to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but have removed their heart far from me.

Judas, in plain sight.

Look over at verse 24 in Matthew 26.

The Son of Man goes as it is written of him, but woe to the man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed.

Listen to this, tough.

It would have been better for that man if he had not been born.

The idea of not being born.

What does that mean?

Well, Matthew 7, 22 and 23, for some context, it says this Not everyone who says, Lord, Lord, will enter into the kingdom of heaven.

And it says further in that verse, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name?

Did we not cast out demons in your name?

Did we not do many mighty works in your name?

And he says, Depart from me.

I never knew you.

He was involved in the revival services of this authoritative preaching.

But he had a heart problem.

Many people today trudge through church on Sundays who have never been born again.

The scripture says it'd been better for you to never have been born than to go through this life, to lose this life, to one day wake up and spend an eternity not in heaven, but in a real place called hell.

Many people come to Sunday services and they've never been born again.

Nobody suspected Judas.

They could have said, Judas, are you a church member?

The question is not, are you a church member?

Are you saved?

Judas could have said, I'm a charter member of the founding of the church, but are you saved?

But I'm a treasurer.

Judas, are you saved?

Is the question that needed to be asked.

Have you been saved?

My family goes to church, but are you saved?

There's a lot of people that have been around a whole lot of church that one day may wake up in a real place called hell.

Remember?

A church crowd crucified Jesus.

They said, crucify him, they chanted.

In John 6, 64, Jesus is speaking of this, and he says, There are some, he's talking to the disciples, he said, but there are some among us of which do not believe.

He's talking about Judas.

You can see it at the end of that chapter.

He chose Judas.

But hear this, church.

Judas never accepted him as Savior.

He never repented of his sins.

He never gave his heart to Jesus.

Judas was a spiritual hypocrite.

The word is Hippocrates, and it means a stage player, somebody who acts apart.

And Jesus called it out over and over in the New Testament.

You can see it with the scribes, Pharisees, Sadducees.

He said, hypocrites.

But this is interesting.

It says, after that happened in John 12, after he saw the ointment and the worship, it says, then Judas.

That's an important then.

Then comma Judas.

It was like that was all that Judas could take.

After the perfume worship, it says, then Judas.

Then he agreed to betray Jesus for 30 shekels.

Now listen, Judas, the moneyman, the dollar counter, despised the misuse of a year's wages, 300 denarii, but sold out Jesus for 30 shekels.

One year's wages of ointment he despised, but he sold Jesus out for four months of labor.

Much cheaper.

He despised it.

His feet, church, were following Jesus.

He'd have been in church today, but his heart was a million miles away.

His feet looked like he was all about Jesus.

How does that happen, Pastor?

Scripture gives us a couple ideas on how it happens.

First, I want you to know this about Judas, though.

Judas didn't know Jesus as Savior.

But you can become callous as a Christian, too.

And I want to tell you what Scripture says about it.

You can have a hard heart.

I believe Judas had a hard heart.

It is, how do we get a hard heart?

It is by disobeying the voice of God.

When God tells us something, and over and over we hear it, we get convicted by it, but we do not act.

That's hard-heartedness.

Starving hearts.

That is neglecting the things that we need to do to grow.

Neglecting the Word of God, neglecting prayer, neglecting worship.

And a choked heart is distraction, worldly distraction, worldly friendships, the things of the world that get in the way of us feeding on who God is.

Second thing I want you to see this morning: false hearts camouflage secrets.

The camouflage was a relational proxy.

Judas was not outside the room.

He was reclining at the table.

He was a betrayer hidden in plain sight.

How many of you grew up hunting?

When I was 10 years old, all that my dad wanted to do was make me a master hunter.

And so I remember this at 10.

We go out, we spent more money than we'd ever spent.

My dad was cheap about things he wanted to be cheap about, and then other things, there was no dollar sign.

So I can remember this camouflage head to toe.

Here comes fall, winter, camo, me, 10 years old, head-to-toe camo.

And I used to think about that, and this is what got me.

He'd spend three, four hundred dollars.

I remember the price tags on all this camo stuff.

And then right before we leave to go out the door, I mean, we did everything so that we could look like a tree.

And then right before we walked out the door, we put a great big bright orange vest on.

It's like we were walking up to the deer saying, Here I am.

Like a camo carrot.

I don't know what we were supposed to be.

Like if we got hurt in the woods, a helicopter could land on us.

That's how I felt.

Camo, right?

Judas, right in plain sight.

Well, let's see what Judas did.

Letter A.

Judas spoke with deception.

I want you to turn to Matthew 26, 20 through 25.

Remember, he met up with the chief priests and he sought an opportunity to betray from that point forward.

Verse 20.

When it was evening, he reclined at the table with the twelve, and they were eating, he said.

Truly I say to you, one of you will betray me.

And they were very sorrowful and began to say to him one after the the other, Is it I, Lord?

He answered, He who has dipped his hand in the dish with me will betray me.

The Son of Man goes as it is written of him, but woe to the man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed.

It would have been better for that man if he had not been born.

Judas, who would betray him, answered, Is it I, Rabbi?

He said to him, You have said so.

So one by one, the disciples, Rabbi, is it I?

Rabbi, is it I?

And it seems that there's this opportunity, this last moment of opportunity for things to be righted.

Jesus plainly says to the disciples, what is going to happen?

This isn't hidden.

He says, one of you is going to betray me.

Judas knows what he's done.

We read it five verses before.

He knows what has been done.

He's arranged an arrest.

Money has changed hands.

And the disciples, one after the other, noble intentions, is it, Lord, is it I?

Judas says, Is it I?

And Jesus looks him right in his eyes and he says, You've said so.

Think about that moment.

Right in his eye.

Jesus knew.

He knew what Judas had already done.

He knew what Judas was about to do.

He knew the silver that had exchanged hands.

And Jesus still sat at the table and he looked in those eyes.

Earlier in this passage, Jesus got on his knees and washed Judas's feet.

Jesus never threw Judas out of the room.

He doesn't expose him to the disciples.

He doesn't humiliate him.

It appears he gives him one more opportunity.

And today, Jesus may be giving you one more opportunity.

So search me.

Know my heart.

Is he giving you one more opportunity?

Or could it be the last?

Judas doesn't call Jesus' Lord.

He deceivingly speaks as if he cares.

But notice this Rabbi, he says.

Every other disciple says, Is it I Lord?

Judas says, Rabbi.

Judas could not acknowledge Jesus as Lord.

He'd acknowledge him as a teacher.

Rabbi, is it I?

Here's why, because he rejected his authority.

He is not the authority in my life.

And intellectually, I don't know, 90% of Bible-belt people would say Jesus was a good man.

Jesus lived on earth.

Jesus was a good teacher.

False religions believe that Jesus was a good teacher and a prophet.

But if he is not the authority of your heart, you can be all around his love.

You can be all around church.

You can be Judas, one of the twelve, and not be surrendered to it.

You can be all around it and never repent.

Think about this.

All around the greatest love that's ever been known, but seeking for something else.

How humanly, how debaucherous are we that someone could be with God incarnate and looking for something other than God when God is right there?

I'm so hungry for the world that's around me that I'm willing to bypass God in human flesh.

What else do we have to have, church?

What will fill your heart?

Can anything fill your heart?

Letter B, Judas struck with desertion.

While he was still speaking, Judas came, one of the twelve, and with him a great crowd with swords and clubs from the chief priests and the elders of the people.

Now the betrayer had given them a sign, saying, The one I will kiss is the man seize him.

And he came up to Jesus once and said, Greetings, Rabbi.

And he kissed him.

Jesus said to him, Friend, do what you came to do.

Then they came and laid hands upon Jesus and seized him.

I want you to see the hypocrisy once again.

Judas was one way at church.

Judas was one way with the disciples.

He was one way with Jesus, but notice there was enough relational access to some other life.

There was some hidden group.

There was hidden conversations somewhere in the background that were not pleasing to God.

There was background calls.

There was background gossip.

There was some plotting and meeting, some negotiations over here with other relationships.

Judas had a public circle with Jesus, and privately he was cultivating a plan of disunity.

Judas knew right where to find Jesus.

He comes with this group of men, and where do they come?

They knew where Jesus prayed.

Judas inches toward Jesus, and then I don't know if there's another, notice this, if there's a more hypocritical, empty, hollow phrase in all of Scripture, then greetings, Rabbi.

He walks upon him and then betrays him with a kiss.

And this last picture, again, is this physical proximity, Judas couldn't be any closer.

Spiritual proximity, he's betraying Jesus.

Couldn't be any closer, couldn't seem any closer, and couldn't have been any further away.

This is interesting.

Jesus could have turned around and said, traitor.

He could have turned around and said betrayer.

He could have turned around and said, thief.

Jesus spun around and said, friend.

Jesus was not confused in this moment about who Judas was.

But that never stopped Jesus from showing Judas who he was.

Aren't you thankful, church?

When you were lost and depraved and sorry and a mess that Jesus didn't have to show himself to be anything other than what he was to you.

He turns to Judas, who was betraying him and said, Friend.

And he meant it.

He meant it.

This would be in line with his teaching from Matthew and the Beatitudes.

Jesus said, Love, bless, pray for those who mistreat you.

That's what he does.

Look at this.

Judas turns his back on Jesus.

Hebrews 13, 5 says, This church family, Jesus will never leave you or forsake you.

Judas used Jesus.

Ephesians 5.2 says, hath loved us and given himself unto us.

Judas walked away from Jesus, and Luke 19, 10 says, the Son of Man came to seek and to save that which was lost.

Judas told Jesus for 30 pieces of silver, and 1 Corinthians 6.20 says, For you were bought with a price.

Judas betrayed and brought death.

And John 10, 10 says, Jesus came to give you life and life more abundant.

You see, Judas shows us everything as a friend that we shouldn't be, and Jesus shows us everything of a friend that he is.

Now, some of y'all are going to laugh at me in a second.

It took a lot of digging and work to find this old video.

But when I think about Judas, I think about this song that was sung when I was at Tennessee Temple University.

And I've never been able to get it out of my head because everybody talks about Judas in such a like it's a dark thing, a heavy thing.

And they talk about a betrayer, you never name anything but your dog, okay?

And I can't get out of my head this song from this Easter program that we were at Tennessee Temple.

And through the song, it depicts Jesus singing and saying, Judas, I love you, Judas.

So if y'all would, now this is recorded from somebody's laptop, so listen, the video quality is something to be seen, but if you will travel with me back to 2000 at Tennessee Temple and watch some of this play.

This is a friend of mine playing Jesus, JC Rose, singing, I love you, Judas.

If you could picture the heart of Jesus in this moment.

So what do we do, Pastor?

I want to close with a comparison of two people.

Peter and Judas.

Look at Luke chapter 22, verse 31 and 32.

Luke 22:31

Letter C is we stand with discernment.

It says, Simon Simon, or Peter, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat.

But I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail, and when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.

So what do we do?

We have to stand with discernment.

Number one, we stand and discern the enemy.

It says there that Satan, church, desires to sift.

Scripture identifies Satan's work in the life of Judas, and now we see Satan looking to come at Peter.

And I want you to know today, Ephesians 6 is the same for all of us.

Peter, Judas, you and me.

We wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principality, against rulers of darkness of this world, spiritual wickedness in high places.

And it says there in Ephesians 6, stand, doing all to stand.

Jesus says, Peter, Satan desires to sift you.

And the word is senadzo, and that's to shake in a sieve.

A sieve separates wheat.

And Satan desires to shift and agitate through pressure.

The goal that was coming was to prove that Peter's faith was an empty chaff when he would deny Jesus.

That's the trial of denial that's coming, a crisis of his own faith.

He said, I would die before I would deny Jesus.

Satan came at Peter.

Peter failed.

In John 13, 2, Satan prompted Judas to protect to betray Jesus, and after a long bout with greed that we have seen, in John 13, 27 it says, Satan entered Judas.

So first, church, you have to discern the enemy.

Search me, O God.

Know my heart.

See if there be any grievous way in me.

Do you see where the enemy is trying to attack?

Listen, we can all come in here and look a certain way.

And look, I grew up with it, and some of y'all did too.

Got out the car fighting and fussing, and then somebody said, How are you doing, Brother Rick?

Praise God.

Glory.

I'm amazing.

I like, no, he wasn't.

He is a liar.

We all have the capability.

Are you discerning the work of the enemy at your life?

So discern the enemy, discern your heart.

Listen to this.

All of the disciples would eventually run and fail.

The issue, church, isn't whether or not you're going to fail.

We all have fallen short, and we all will continue to fall short.

The Bible says the righteous fall seven times, but they get back up again.

The same thing happens in friendships.

Friendship is not proven by never failing.

You're going to fail.

Everyone fails.

Peter loved Jesus.

And when those guards came with Judas' betrayer, Peter turned around and took a sword and chopped a soldier's ear off, proving his love for Jesus.

And the same week, he denied Jesus.

And we say, Man, the spirit is willing, Pastor, but the flesh is weak.

This is that tug of war, and we all face it.

You may come down to the altar today and say, God, I give you my heart, and then Monday hits you like a backslap.

You say, I don't know what happened.

Humanity happened, life happened.

Peter messed up.

Judas messed up.

Peter said, I'll die before I deny you.

Then he denies him.

Peter ran off.

He was broken by his failure.

He was contemplating quitting the ministry, ready to be done.

Judas betrayed, departed, ran off, was in despair.

Both men failed.

Both men had been close to Jesus and been chosen by Jesus.

Both men knew exactly what they had done.

Peter's heart drove him into tears, while Judas drove him away.

Never to be seen again.

Judas' heart became cold.

Peter's heart broke.

There's a difference.

The difference is what Peter did with his failure and what Judas did with his.

We are going to fail.

And so maybe you're sitting here today and you have fallen in some way.

I want to tell you, Jesus said in 1 John 1 9, if we confess our sins, he's faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all.

There's not any righteousness, unrighteousness that you can hold and say, I've messed up too bad, or I've messed up too many times.

What did each man do with his heart?

And so I say this again.

Psalms 139.

Search me, O God, and know my heart.

See if there be any grievous way in me.

Here's the question that goes with that.

So how how do I make it practical, Pastor?

How do I search my heart?

What does that look like?

I'm not a doctor.

What do I do, Pastor?

Ask these questions.

What am I repeatingly choosing?

Right or wrong?

What am I repeatedly choosing in my life?

What am I repeatedly excusing in my life?

What am I repeatedly talking about?

What has my repeated affection?

What do I just get excited about it?

Where am I repeatedly resisting God?

God's saying it and I'm putting up.

God's saying it and I can't.

God, I can do anything but that thing.

Where am I repeatedly resisting God?

That's the heart check.

Now, if you're willing to do that today, God might do business with you.

If you say, I'm I'm I've been done since the start.

God will not do business with you.

That's just reality.

You might as well, when we start to pray, I'm done.

You checked out, you might as well check out.

But if your heart is open to change, check in today.

Why would you leave and go any other way than to be changed and different?

This week I was thinking over these things, and a couple of times in ministry, God's brought my thoughts to something like this.

This is not written in the Bible, but I thought about what was Peter and Judas's relationship like.

So here's a letter from Peter to Judas after Judas passes.

Not in the Bible.

Judas, I still can't believe you're gone.

Remember that boat?

The storm?

All of us thought we were dead.

And Jesus said, shh.

And we saw that, Judas.

Remember when I got out of the boat and walked on water, Judas?

Well, I don't mean to brag, but I did.

And you didn't.

Remember Lazarus?

Judas, have anyone ever seen such a thing as Lazarus?

Judas, I remember you weren't bad at fishing either.

We used to laugh so much.

Judas, we got in trouble together.

You remember that?

We were twelve, Judas.

Now we're eleven.

Judas, I failed him too.

I said I'd never do it, but I denied him.

I wish I could take it all back.

I felt so ashamed.

I know what shame feels like.

I know what it feels like to wish you could take it all back.

But Judas, then Jesus came looking for me.

And you know what he said to me, Judas, after all that, after I denied him three times, he said, Peter, go feed my sheep.

Judas, I wish you had stayed.

I wish you had come to us.

I'd wish you'd given your heart to Jesus.

I found out after all that, Judas, Jesus was a better friend than I even thought I knew.

After everything we saw, after everything we heard, after everything we experienced, why didn't you give your heart to Jesus, Judas?

I loved you.

And Jesus loved you.

Your friend Peter.

I want you to bow your heads and close your eyes.