Prefer One Another

Cool.

Well, I hope you're good.

I hope you're well.

It is wonderful to be with you.

I wondered this morning, are you going to be good ground?

Are you going to be fertile soil for the seed that is sown from God's word?

Let it settle.

Let it fall on fertile soil.

Let us be people who hear the word and do something with it.

Amen?

Amen.

Come on.

So we've been out, we're right in the middle.

Literally, we're right in the middle of our um one another.

Our one another um sermon series is azz.

Um we've done love one another.

Wasn't that beautiful?

Um Ruth talked about forgive last week.

We we were talking about building up and encouraging one another.

How's your homework coming on?

Oh dear, I forgot to do my homework, sir.

I wasn't here, I didn't I forgot, and the dog ate it.

Um, let's be a community that is building one another up.

I don't know about you, but I can't do my Christian walk on my own.

I just can't, and that's what this series is all about.

You and us helping one another get community right, um, and how we relate to each other and all of that stuff.

Today we tackle prefer one another.

So preferring one another is all about humility, service, honor.

It's about putting other people before yourself in a world that is obsessed with self, climbing the corporate ladder, where grind and hustle are the norm, where growing your own social media seems to be the most important thing.

We're called to think about other people above ourselves.

But we're Christians, so it's easy.

I don't know about you.

I find looking out for other people above myself super easy.

If you aren't very good at sarcasm, this next bit might not work for you.

Um because I mean I've never gotten road rage.

I definitely don't keep a keep count of how many times I stacked the dishwasher, took the bins out, and cooked the tea this week.

Maybe that's one you don't struggle with.

I don't know about you, but you know when you're at I always use the supermarket as my example, don't I?

But when you're at the supermarket, and there you are, you stood in the queue with your basket that's overflowing, because you only ever meant to go for like one or two bits, but you know, you stood there with your basket.

We're opening till number three.

And before the words are even finished, the people who haven't even been queuing have filled the queue.

Like if you want to see rage in someone, just keep an eye on me in the supermarket when they open a new lane.

That's not me.

Honestly, it's not, I promise.

The Bible flips this me, me, me attitude, the grind culture, the social media, the self-centered world and culture that we live in.

It flips it on its head.

Let's read his words, shall we?

Romans 12.

This is in the New King James, it says, be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love.

In honor, giving preference to one another.

In the ESV it says, Love one another with brotherly affection.

I love this.

Outdo one another in showing honour.

Outdo one another.

Love that.

Philippians 2, 3 and 4.

We we we spoke on this in groups this week, so you're all an expert on this one.

Um do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility, count others more significant than yourselves.

Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but to the interests of others.

1 Corinthians 10, 24.

No one should seek their own good, but the good of others.

Even when the next till opens at Azda.

1 Peter 5, verse 5.

1 Peter 5:5

All of you clothe yourselves with humility towards one another, because God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.

We understand this concept.

I think it's easy to understand.

We just think of other people and put other people first.

It's a concept that's easy to get right.

It's not new to us, especially if we've been in church and been reading the Bible for any length of time.

But I wonder, is there any blind spots this morning?

Us devoted followers of Christ, are we missing anywhere other than the road ridge that where any selfishness might have gone unnoticed in our lives?

Judith spoke a few months ago about the little foxes that can just creep in.

I wonder, are there any little foxes in areas of our lives that we've just let ourselves prefer ourselves rather than others?

And I was wondering what a selfish disciple might look like.

It's totally an oxymoron, that isn't it?

But what a selfish follower of Christ might look like, someone who maybe takes all the best bits for themselves.

So I'm gonna pray, and I pray that you'll hear these words and pray them all so.

Father, will you give us open ears to listen to your word?

And will you soften our hearts to be changed?

In Jesus' name.

Amen.

So selfish discipleship a bit of an interesting concept.

Well, for me, if there were a selfish disciple in our church, which I'm sure they're not, I think one of the telltale things might be their spiritual stinginess.

Their spiritual stinginess.

This person doesn't lack, doesn't just lack generosity, they only invest in things that benefit themselves.

Let's read Luke 2, Luke 12, 15 to 21.

Then he said to them, Watch out, be on your guard against all kinds of greed.

Life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.

Life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.

And he told them this parable.

He thought to himself, What shall I do?

I have no place to store my crops.

Then he said, This is what I'll do.

I will tear down my old barns and build bigger ones, and then I will store my surplus grain.

And I'll say to myself, You have plenty of grain laid up for many years.

Take it easy, eat, drink, and be merry.

But God said to him, You fool, this very night your life will be demanded from you.

Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?

This is how it will be with whoever stores up things for themselves, but is not rich towards God.

This man had abundance, and it seemingly came from God, which I think is wonderful.

But he prioritized building comfort for himself.

God expects us to be rich towards heaven.

And we talk about this stuff every Sunday, and Jade's done a wonderful job this morning of encouraging us around our giving.

It's one of those areas of our lives, isn't it, that's so easy to just hold on to, to cling on to.

It's such a personal thing.

But let me say it clearly.

We're called to be generous people.

Not just money, but also money.

Because I don't know about you, but it's easier to give up my time than it is to give up my money.

It's the things that actually cost us.

Now, at this moment in the service, I would like you to understand that we are not necessarily expecting you to give more.

I am not, at this moment, I've not put this in my sermon specifically because we want you to give more to our church.

Please, if that's what you think, but you felt led to give, give somewhere else.

Be generous somewhere else.

I promise you, you know, that's not what I'm saying here.

We're not just after your money.

Please, though, please don't store things up for yourself.

Please don't neglect being rich towards heaven.

Don't get me wrong, either.

Do we deserve nice things?

Yes, of course.

Do I want a nice car?

Absolutely, Lord.

Am I a little bit embarrassed to drive around my current hunk of junk?

Hunk?

Hunk of junk.

Sorry.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

But I'm not striving for that stuff.

It's not my priority.

I'm content.

Let's be people who prioritize generosity over building our own kingdom of stuff.

Filled with our own selfish desires, wants, and needs.

And if you check your bank statement and your calendar, that's how you can tell where your priorities are.

See, if selfishness is stingy, then generosity prefers to bless other people.

Whether that's in giving to the house, in setting up some sort of giving to a charity, whether that is just being generous, like with your time, with what you've got, with your home, with who you are as a person.

Is that good?

You don't hate me.

Obviously not.

I'm too cute.

A selfish desire, a selfish disciple, they might show like ungodly ambition.

Ungodly ambition.

Can I read to you one of my favourite parables?

I love this one.

Jesus proper like dropping bombs here.

It's mint.

Luke 14, 7 to 11.

When he noticed how the guests picked the place of honour at the table, he told them this parable.

When someone invites you to a wedding feast, do not take the place of honour.

For a person more distinguished than you may have been invited.

If so, the host who invited both of you both of you will come and say to you, give this person your seat.

Then, humiliated, you will have to take the least important place.

But when you are invited, take the lowest place, so that when your host comes, he will say, Friend, move up to a better place.

Then you will be honored in the presence of all the other guests.

For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.

I said earlier, we live in a world where everyone seems to be clamoring for significance, don't we?

Where one-upmanship is the norm, where my goals are most important, and where people are not afraid to take someone out to make their own progress.

Now, maybe this stuff seems like out there in the world, but like for some of us, this is the world we live in every single day, whether that's at school, at work, even in our own families sometimes.

Jesus turns this on his head.

Do you remember?

The last will be first, and the first will be last.

And let me just say this we're not immune to this stuff in the church either.

Okay?

It's not just the world that has this problem.

Over the years, we've seen people who have felt led to be a leader or to do something significant, and instead of sitting at the foot of the table and waiting to be asked, they vied for position in their own strength, almost demanding for opportunity.

And I don't know about you, but if I'm going to be given honor, if I'm going to be placed in an honored position, I want that to be by God.

Not by me climbing up and vying for position, not by me and my selfish schemes and my own earthly ability.

Trust me, I didn't even ask for this position right here, you know.

Certainly didn't say to Bert and Margaret, we could do it, let us, we'll do it, and then position ourselves.

No, it's always been about sitting at the foot of the table.

So let's be people, and you can write this one down in your notepads.

Let's be people who seek formation over promotion.

Let's be people who seek formation over promotion.

Time and time we see it in scripture.

God calls people into the wilderness.

To sit at the foot of the table for how long?

Who knows?

Could be years.

It's formation time.

It's time to submit to the Holy Spirit.

Because if selfishness clambers over one another to become successful, then preferring another, preferring one another promotes other people.

Promotes other people before ourselves.

And it's happy to let other people take the credit.

Easy peasy.

If I'm just all about other people, are we good?

Everyone happy?

Cool.

Selfish disciples.

Oh, self-serving.

See, I think most of us are pretty good at serving, but I often wonder about even myself.

Who are we serving?

Because it's easy to look and feel.

Remember those those those foxes that can creep in?

It's easy to look and feel like we are serving God or even each other when really we're serving ourselves.

I had this discussion with my form class.

We do a Thursday thought where we we have a debate, and it was, is altruism even a thing?

Does it even exist?

Altruism, the process of being selfless.

Even if I help someone across the street, am I helping them or am I making myself feel good about myself?

Just that whole concept.

In John 13, I haven't got time to read this one, but Jesus washes his disciples' feet.

Just imagine King Charles opening up the gates of Buckingham Palace, towel over his shoulder, basin in hand.

Imagine it.

And he starts to wash the feet of the tourists.

That would make the headlines, no doubt.

Our default as humans is to want to be served.

Isn't it?

I don't know about you.

You know, we had a lovely meal last night and we were served, and it was lovely because I didn't have to do the washing up.

Imagine the king of heaven stepping down from his throne and washing the dirt from our feet.

That's what he did, isn't it?

On the cross.

But for me, the story of Jesus washing his disciples' feet, it paints the picture of what real serving is.

We often call serving on Sunday, don't we?

I'm serving on worship team this week.

I'm serving on production team this week.

But when I think about real serving, you know, Jesus put aside his own thoughts and feelings, got down on his knees, and washed the dirt off his disciples' feet.

He got dirty in the process, it cost him something.

I think of our kids' team, Judith's already honored them this morning, but once again, missing the service on a Sunday.

I think about our our youth team on a Friday night, soon to be a Sunday afternoon, when we're all sat with our feet up, watching the tell, they're out building dens.

Come on, but it's about our motivation.

Jesus didn't do this about obligation or expectation, he did it because of love.

And we spoke about love one another, listen back.

And I I you know Norma doesn't come every Friday and clean the toilets because she loves cleaning toilets.

She does it because she loves God, she loves his house, and she loves you.

And you deserve a nice clean toilet.

But that's getting down and dirty, isn't it?

There's no self-fulfillment in that service.

That's serving.

See, we love serving, we love God's house.

Serving in God's house is where Judith and I met.

Really beautiful.

Isn't she amazing?

Happy birthday.

Um I believe that every single one of you has got something incredible to offer.

But please understand that us wanting servant hearts is it's not about growing teams or even us being more effective as a church.

We don't even want to build an enormous church that's full of burnt-out volunteers.

We want to build disciples of Jesus, and that means we've got to be servant-hearted.

And let me say this, and this might cut deep, but if making a cup of tea or welcoming someone ticks your servant box, then fair enough.

But I believe we're called to more.

Serving's got to cost us, else it's not serving, it's self-serving.

And you guys have got more to offer to the body of Christ.

I believe it.

I believe that's a word for some of you.

If selfishness serves itself, then preferring one another puts others first and seeks to bless and honors others by getting law, like Jesus did, and maybe even paying the price.

We're getting there.

Don't worry.

Selfish disciples are self-preserving.

They prioritize their own growth, their own preferences, and nice traditions.

They're closed off to new people, they oppose change and fail to measure success against kingdom values.

I don't know about you.

But I'm building this church, not for me.

Not necessarily, and hear my heart on this, not necessarily even for you.

It is.

But I I can't get out of my head the fact that we need to build this house for Lola and her friends, for Josh and Charlotte and Analy and Ryan and Ruby for all of our.

Children and young people, and that means that what I want doesn't matter.

How I want things done isn't necessarily important.

Imagine us missing a whole generation because we fail to prefer them.

I love Ken's attitude.

I love Ken's attitude.

Every time I see him, oh, it's so good to see you young people up on that platform.

I'm like, I'm not young, I don't feel young.

But what an encourager.

You know, Ken doesn't really like the songs that we sing, but he understands they're not really for him.

It's more than just how we do the service, though.

You know, there might be a situation in the future where we've got to change the time of the service to 11 o'clock.

It's okay.

It's gonna be okay.

I'm not saying that's gonna happen, but it might.

But will you let it ruffle your feathers?

Or will you see the big picture and choose to prefer others?

Do you remember the old new wineskins?

Yeah, no one puts new wine into an old wineskin.

Do you want the new wine?

Even though the old wine tastes better.

I want the new wine, even though the old wine tastes better.

Let me say this, and this might be controversial.

I don't really come to church for me.

I don't really need to come to church, come to church and worship.

Get him off the stage.

Because I've worshipped every morning this week.

I don't need to hear from God in the message.

Because I've heard from God every morning this week.

Hear my heart, don't get me wrong.

You know I love to worship, and you know I love his word preached.

But if my primary focus is me when I come on a Sunday, then I've kind of got my focus wrong.

Amen.

And it should be the same for us.

I believe that when we gather, it is body together, unified, building one another up.

And we come to bless the name of the Lord.

Amen.

We come to build and edify each other.

So if you're coming, expecting to receive, and disappointed if you don't, disappointed when worship isn't your favorite songs.

And we've all got our favourite songs, it's fine.

If it's too loud, if it's not powerful enough, if it's too powerful, then whatever.

You know, please shift the focus away from you and onto God and onto other people, please.

We come to join with the body, we come to build one another up, to minister to God and to minister to other people.

Selfish discipleship says, What's in it for me?

But when we prefer one another, all the stuff doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter.

So maybe like me this morning, you're wanting to catch some foxes in your own heart.

Maybe you've realized maybe there's a certain area, and I am including myself in this, I promise, that you need to start preferring other people instead of yourself.

What can you do to help yourself?

Excuse me.

We read this in groups.

I was gonna read it anyway, and then it was all in groups.

Philippians 2, verse 5 to 8.

Philippians 2:5–8

Get this in your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus, who, being in very nature God, he was God, he is God, did not consider equality with God something to be used as his own advantage, to grasp onto, to hold on to, to use.

Rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness, he became a man, and being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death, even death on a cross.

If you want to catch some foxes, maybe it's time to take a moment and remember what he did, remember the grace that he's shown you, remember what it cost him.

When we remember the grace extended to us, how can we not extend the same grace?

How can we not share it with other people, preferring them?

How can we not extend the love that's been shown to us to other people?

Did you catch it though?

Right at the start.

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus.

In the same way that He has served us, we are to serve each other.

Now there's a challenge for all of us.

So let's remember His grace.

It's step one in the process of making sure that I'm not being that selfish disciple.

Step two, get on your knees.

Get on your knees this week, and that's more than just coming down the front and being prayed for on a Sunday.

We'll do that this morning if you want to.

There's power in those moments, but and I say this every week: you've got to.

You've got to.

If you're gonna be a disciple, you've got to spend time with Jesus every day.

For years I felt judged whenever anyone would say that from a platform, and I kept up presents that I was doing that stuff every day.

Oh, yeah, of course.

Of course I am.

I led the worship team, and it wasn't every day.

I led the worship team, and it would be weeks not opening God's word, and it's hard.

I get it, but I honestly believe most of life's problems are fixed in a secret place.

Our perspective shifts, our hearts are softened when we spend time in God's presence, and there's no replacing the secret place, that moment every day spent with Jesus, not even the most powerful time of worship on a Sunday or that conference.

There is no replacing that.

You've got to build that into your routine, you've got to hold some accountability, maybe.

Tell someone, ask for help.

Jacob wrestled with God until he was blessed, wouldn't let go.

Maybe this morning.

It's a battle, and you've got to start that battle this week tomorrow morning.

Get up early, spend time in his presence.

Amen.

Come on, lastly, and this is your homework for this week.

Do a hidden thing.

Let's all commit this week to do a hidden thing.

Let's start small, but in secret, because selfish serving thrives on visibility and recognition.

Break it hold.

Practice a good deed in secret so your ego receives no reward.

That's where our motives remain pure, don't they?

God loves a pure motive, you know.

Don't be like the hypocrites, they get their reward in full.

Maybe write an anonymous note to encourage someone.

Go and chat to Norma and David if you want to be part of the cleaning team.

Let someone in front of you at the supermarket, but do it in secret between you and God.

Shall we pray?

Father, bless you.

We bless you, Father.

I pray, God, that you'll you'll help us this morning.

If we've been challenged, Lord, will you help us not just to hear it but do it?

Not just to be challenged and walk away, but God, to make a commitment to change.

Lord, I pray that you'll help us to be more generous, that you'll help us to be less spiritual spiritually stingy.

Lord, that we can think of others and prefer them over our own preferences and ways of doing things.

Lord, that if there's any ounce of us having our own motive that's unpure, God, we want to just get rid of it.

Lord, we want to we want to serve you and serve your people, God.

Father, will you illuminate even now, Holy Spirit, areas of our lives that we can place before your cross?

Lord, I pray that we will be people this week who take up our cross, who do the hard work, who do the repentance and the turning around from ways of doing things and habits and mindsets, Lord.

Let us get pure before you, Lord.

Help us to be righteous and fruitful.

Father, thank you for your word.

Thank you that it's countercultural.

We're not called to live the way of the world, but we're called, Lord, to live in accordance to your word.

Father, will you inspire us?

Holy Spirit, breathe life now, breathe on us, change us from the inside out.

Lord, I pray that we won't miss a generation because we fail to prepare to prefer them.

Lord, that we won't miss a generation because we fail to prefer them.

Help us, Lord.

In Jesus' name.

Amen.