Love Actually: The Answer to Loneliness | Ps Luke Harrison

We are jumping into our series called

love actually. And as a church, we

believe that the there's a

responsibility of the church to

communicate the importance of strong

relationships that are have the

foundation of Christ. And so last week,

Pastor Luke and Pastor Nikki. So good

having another Luke on the stage. Pastor

Luke was up and they uh they preached

phenomenal messages specifically around

um the idea of marriage. But in that

message they spoke about the fact that

love is not just an emotion but rather

love is a covenant. And we spoke through

the idea that marriage has sort of three

lenses upon which we can look at.

There's the physical lens, there's the

spiritual lens, but there's also this

transcendent lens. And this transcendent

lens is basically an opportunity for us

to understand that which is to come. Uh,

pastor Luke shared the cultural context

around marriage and the fact that when

Christ came to earth, he paid the

bride's price for his bride being the

church, us, and ultimately paid the

bride's price, was crucified, was raised

on the third day, and then went to his

father's house where he is now preparing

a place for his bride being us, you and

me. And he will come, and we'll go back

to be with the father in heaven. And so

today we are going to take it one step

further. I actually want to take it one

step back if I got to be honest and I

want to give us a platform upon which to

launch from when it comes to the area of

our relationships.

This week I'll unpack this theme called

the friend that isn't there and how the

world ultimately tries to ask us to

replace true love and connection with

something that is truly not there.

Something that is fleeting. something

that could be damaging and something

that ultimately separates us from true

love. I'm going to be honest, this

message is a little deep. So stay with

me. And deep, I don't mean like deep

teaching. Maybe it is, but more that

it's a heavy one.

And we're going to be unpacking this

what I've called the dilemma of

loneliness.

the dilemma of loneliness with a central

idea on this that true love and

relationships are ultimately centralized

around the person of Christ. You see

there's this epidemic that's going on

within this world. So much so that the

World Health Organization did a large

body of study last year. I think it

could have been yeah I mean it's tens

upon tens of thousands of people and um

they did this body of work to identify

to unpack what loneliness is actually

doing to societies. part of that study,

they pulled something out that's quite

relevant to all of us sitting in this

room. The fact that I can almost

guarantee that there are people in this

room that are experiencing loneliness

because in their study, loneliness was

not just subjected to an age group. It

was actually subjected to the whole

demographic or all demographics. Within

adolescence, which is the ages of 13 to

17, it found that about 20% of people

are considered lonely. Young adults 18

to 29, 17% of people are lonely. Uh,

sorry, that was young adults. Uh, adults

30 to 59, 15% are lonely and older

adults over 60, we call them the wise

ones. When I say older adults, they got

that wrong. I'm going to correct them.

11 to 13% of people are considered

lonely. The crazy thing is not being a

Christian body of work, they describe

loneliness as this is the fact that my

relationships or connections are not

giving me the connection that I

ultimately need.

That ultimately it's this that which I

have the people that I'm surrounded by

are not fulfilling a void that I have in

my life.

And I want to be clear, I'm obviously

not going to be able to solve every area

when it comes to the area of loneliness.

I'm not going to be able to give you

every single tip. I'm not going to be

able to address every nuance or every

answer. But what I am hoping to do today

is to give you a platform upon which you

can launch from a starting perspective

that if we get if we get this right,

then we would be a giant step towards

the right direction of fully

understanding what it is that God's

called us to.

And I want to make this clear. This is

not a message for singles.

or singles only. Let me put it that way.

This is a message for married people and

those that are dating because the same

report actually cites that there's

actually a high percentage of people in

marriages that are claimed to be lonely.

You see, this is ultimately a message

for those who have attempted to fill

voids in our lives that only Christ can

fill

because loneliness is not characterized

by being alone.

And the reason that is is this is

because ultimately loneliness is not a

matter of proximity to people but rather

proximity to Christ.

>> See you can be surrounded by people and

be married and still be lonely.

This is so much of a problem that even

physicians and practitioners medical

practitioners are finding the fact that

um this is a problem.

The former uh United States surgeon

general was quoted in saying this.

During my years of caring for patients,

the most common pathology I saw was not

heart disease or diabetes. It was

loneliness.

So ultimately this tells that even

physicians and and medical practitioners

identifying the fact that there's an

impact

to avoid that can't be filled by things

on this earth. Here's a few trigger

warnings before you all start rolling

your eyes at the pastor. Oh, here goes

the pastor. He's going to tell us that

it's just about Jesus and all we need is

Jesus. Pastor, I've heard this one.

Preach something else. No. Preaching

this one today cuz we need Jesus

[snorts]

because yes, that is what I'm going to

preach on. We do. All we do need is

Jesus. But listen, this is not a copout

either. If you're single and God's

placed it upon your heart to get

married, I encourage you pursue that. If

you in in a marriage right now and it's

a rock on rocky shores, this is not a

get out of free get out of jail free

card. This is a no. Get the platform

sorted so you can continue to pursue

your wife and your husband accordingly.

But if we don't have the platform, we

can't have relationships that are

healthy and flourishing.

Christ is ultimately all we need.

I've heard it be said before that people

speak about their partners like there's

my better half or my, you know, a better

half. Rubbish. Just going to be honest.

I don't believe in that. When married

me, she didn't marry a half a man. She

didn't had an expectation

that I knew where I was going to be

filling my void. That there was a void

that only Christ could fill.

In the same manner, I didn't marry a

half a woman. I didn't marry somebody

that I needed. I married somebody that I

desired. Because there's a need that can

only be filled by Christ. My wife is not

somebody that I need. She's somebody

that I want. I don't wake up in the

morning going, "Thank goodness she's

there." I want to wake up in the morning

go, "Yes, she's still there." There's a

difference between a need and a desire.

Sometimes I wake up and go, "Yes, she's

still there. Thank you, Jesus. I've done

the right thing." But there's a

difference between a need and a desire.

And Christ can only fill the need of

loneliness or the need to have true

relationships.

>> You see, my role as a husband is not

just to draw my wife closer to me. It's

actually to push her closer to Christ.

And as that void gets filled, she

becomes a better hus a better wife and a

better mother. and as she pushes me

towards Christ, I become a better

husband and a better father. So, we're

talking about the foundation, the

platform upon which we need to launch

from.

So, we're going to tackle this central

idea and we are going to wrestle a bit

if I got to be honest. We're going to

believe that Holy Spirit will open our

eyes to the truest form of relational

fulfillment which is only found in

Christ.

>> Here's my pastoral

serious moment for one moment. Hear me

for one second, please.

going to be honest that in this message

we're going to address things that you

might be struggling with that there

might be things that we address in this

message that might be a little

uncomfortable and might make you want to

squirm in your seat but hear my heart

for one second. This is not a message of

condemnation. It's a message of

conviction. There's a sincere different

condemnation tells you and is from the

enemy that you don't matter and that

you're so far from God that you

shouldn't even bother in trying to get

to the foot of the cross. But but

conviction is ultimately truth and grace

that leads us on a journey to the foot

of the cross. And it's there at the

cross that we find restoration and

healing. So this message is not supposed

to have you leaving today feeling

condemned,

but rather encourages you to take the

next step in living and outliving the

fullness of what God has for you. Romans

Romans 8:1

8:1 says that there's now no

condemnation for those who are in Christ

Jesus. There's no condemnation. So hear

it from a pastor's heart to yours. As a

church, we've got teams upon teams that

are waiting to serve you and help you

and pray for you. Our whole church is

set up to ensure that the next step that

you make is one in the direction of the

cross and not one in the direction out

of the church.

>> So, we're going to pray,

then we're going to unpack God's word.

And I'm hoping to to teach you something

that you possibly have not seen before.

and out of this out of this text

hopefully identify areas of loneliness

and then how we can ultimately respond

from what we learn. So Jesus we just

thank you.

We thank you for your word Lord. Thank

you for your presence.

We thank you that you are doing

something in the heart of your people

today. Holy Spirit, I pray even before

we open the text, would you start

speaking to your people? I pray our

hearts would be soft, our ears would be

open to what it is that you're calling

us all to individually, Lord. And so I

pray that as your word goes out that it

won't return void, but rather that it

would break chains and restore hearts.

But first and foremost, Jesus, that it

would bring people into right standing

with you today. So, we love you, Jesus.

And all God's people said,

"Amen." Well, if you got your Bible with

you, jump with me to Mark

15. [laughter]

No, wrong. [snorts] Don't do that. Go to

Mark 5:es 25-34.

And some of you might know this text,

but I'm going to read it for you today,

and then we're going to unpack it a bit.

This is what it says.

Mark 5:es

25 and says, "And there was a woman who

had a discharge of blood for 12 years

and who had suffered much under many

physicians and had listened and had

spent all that she had and was no better

but rather grew worse."

What's it in your life that you're

spending

every ounce of energy, every dime that

you have to try and get to a better

place, to try and find the truest form

of connection? She had heard the reports

about Jesus and came up behind him and

in the crowd and touched his garment.

For she said, "If I touch even his

garment, I will be made well." And

listen to what the Bible says in verse

29. It says, "And immediately the flow

of blood dried up, and she felt in her

body that she was healed of her disease.

And Jesus, perceiving in himself that

power had gone out from him, immediately

turned about in the crowd and said, "Who

touched my garment?" And his disciples

said to him, "You see the crowd pressing

around you, and yet you say, 'Who

touched me?" And he looked around to see

who had done it. But the woman, knowing

what had happened to her, came in fear

and trembling and fell down before him

and told him the whole truth. And he

said to her, "Daughter, your faith has

made you well. Go in peace and be healed

of your disease." And we'll address that

shortly.

It's imperative to note that sometimes

we can read the text and miss the

cultural context. And it's within that

cultural context that we learn so much

more about what the gospels have to say.

Because Mark 5:25 is not the start of

Mark 5:25

this text. We actually need to jump all

the way back to Leviticus. When you've

got time, I encourage you go read

Leviticus 15 25. It talks about the

concern or the issue with blood and the

fact that this woman would have been

considered unclean due to the fact that

she had this issue of blood.

And so she's walking around considered

by the community as unclean with the

inability to engage socially with the

inability to be a part of what's

happening in and around the church with

the inability to go to the tabernacle of

the temple because she's considered

unclean.

And Jesus

comes to her or comes through

and the Bible says that she was healed

when immediately after

she touched the hem of his garment and

that's a phenomenal teaching on healing

and it's a phenomenal teaching but

there's some concepts that we miss and I

wonder if we can see the themes of

loneliness that are addressed within

this within this text.

You see, the Bible says that she was

healed immediately. And then Jesus, when

he perceived that power had left him,

turned around

and gave him gave her his attention.

Jesus could have easily continued his

journey to Gyrus's house,

but he perceives that power has left

him, turns around and acknowledges her

publicly

>> cuz Jesus was not just healing her

physically. He was restoring her

publicly.

>> He was helping people understand around

him. Imagine the woman coming through

the crowds. Oh, here comes the lady with

the issue of blood. but he restores her

publicly.

>> Where the world just saw a woman on the

fringes, Jesus acknowledges her as

daughter and places value upon her. And

so it's through this context of

loneliness that there are two key themes

that I'd love to communicate and

hopefully you can take home and allow

this to be the foundation upon which we

build all relationships. Here's the

first learning that I find.

Like this woman with the issue of blood,

the pandemic of loneliness can lead us

to the friend that isn't there.

She tried everything to get healed.

Similar to this woman with the issue of

blood, so many of us can go the wrong go

to the wrong source to find healing and

fulfillment.

For some, it's pornography,

trying to fill the void of intimacy

without accountability.

For some, it's adultery, trying to fill

the void of wanting to be wanted or

chasing a high without responsibility.

For some, it's alcohol and drugs, where

we try and fill the void of feeling

alone and trying to numb the pain. For

some, it's multiple relationships where

we jump from one relationship to the

next seeking connection but not wanting

to be vulnerable.

try and f fill the voids and there's so

many others and this is not condemnation

but if this is you there's an ability

for us to take this and leave it at the

foot of the cross and find healing and

restoration and be acknowledged by our

savior but if I got to be honest so

often we speak about these things but we

forget that there are things in our

lives that we actually masquerade

as good things that also fill the void

of loneliness. Some of us use busyiness

continuously being on the move not to

consider the things that actually

matter. Some of us use work where we

just throw ourselves in completely

because if we're busy with work and

being distracted by these things and I

don't have to worry about the void

that's been placed upon me.

Some of us use social engagements

where we go from one event to the next,

but we leave every single time feeling

unfulfilled and feeling so alone. And I

wonder for you, friend, today, what's

the void that's in your life? Or what's

sorry, excuse me, what is the friend

that isn't there that you're trying to

fill the void with?

All these things we use to try and fill

voids of loneliness that ultimately only

Christ can fill.

I love Paul writing to to the church

says this in Philippians 4. Actually, I

think it's Philippians 3. Though I

myself have reason for confidence in the

flesh, listen to him. He's saying, I'm

about to identify things that I can use

to fill the void and make myself feel

better. He says, I can use it all. If

anyone else thinks he has reason for

confidence in the flesh, I have more.

circumcised on the eighth day of the

people of Israel, of the tribe of Gen uh

Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews, as the

law, a Pharisee, as to zeal, a

persecutor of the church, as to

righteousness under the law, blameless.

But whatever gain,

whatever gain I had, I counted as loss

for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count

everything as loss because of surpassing

worth of what? of knowing Christ Jesus

my Lord. John 10:10 says this that the

John 10:10

thief comes only to steal, kill, and

destroy, but I have come that you may

have life and just not just have it

mediocre, but have it abundantly. And so

Christ points us to the idea that if we

want to f feel fulfilled, if we want to

f feel jeez, that's a tongue twister.

[laughter] If we want to live a life

feeling fulfilled, then we've got to go

to him. Not to live a life that's

mediocre, but to live a life that's

fulfilled through only him. I heard this

the other day that desires that nothing

in this world can satisfy means we have

been created for a different world. And

this is a little cliche. I get it. But

listen to me here for a second. The

enemy distracts us with the friend that

isn't there to take our attention away

from the friend that is always there.

What's he using in your life to distract

you from the void that ultimately only

he can fill?

Matthew 28:20 Jesus says, "And behold, I

Matthew 28:20

am with you always.

Not sometimes. Not when it's just going

good. Not just when you're on the

mountaintop, always. The friend that is

always there to the end of age. See,

there are voids in our life that only

Christ can fill. And we need to stop

being distracted by these friends that

are not truly there.

Not condemnation,

conviction.

Because we live from a manual that's

true.

It's uncomfortable sometimes

and we got to die to flesh often, but

it's true.

And if we live by the manual

and the bridegroom will come back for

his church,

we get to spend time with him for

eternity.

So, this is a message about restoration,

not condemnation. Here's the second

thing I learned.

Loneliness takes courage

to step out of.

I think about this woman

standing on the fringe of the crowds

wondering, "I've heard about this Jesus

that can heal me, but I wonder if I

should."

Like, I've I've heard about all the

stories and I've seen my friends

actually had a conversation with him the

other day. And after my friend spoke to

him, man, he's changed completely.

But I watch from a distance and she's

standing there and I can only imag

imagine as humans cuz we're humans and

we know humans. Oh,

move up. Here comes the lady with the

issue of blood. Just just move up.

Like what is she doing here?

But she has the courage and the

boldness.

In a moment of discomfort, forgetting

everything that's around her, she

reaches out and she grabs the hem of his

garment.

And not only is she healed physically,

but she's restored

in an instant.

And as a church, that will always be our

heart.

So you can come as you are but you can

leave transformed by the power of the

one who sees you.

You can be transformed by the one who

acknowledges you.

You can leave transformed by the power

of him who stops on his way to make you

known where the world calls you daughter

and tries to or the world calls you

woman and tries to hold you account for

things. He turns around and he says,

"It's your faith that has made you

well." And he acknowledges you public as

one of his own. As a church, our heart

is for you to come in here and leave

transformed knowing that he loves you.

One of my favorite verses in the Bible

is this in Hebrews 12:1-2.

Hebrews 12:1–2

It says this, "Therefore, since we are

surrounded by so great a cloud of

witnesses, let us also lay aside every

weight and sin which clings so closely,

and let us run in uh run with endurance

the race that is set before us." And

here it comes, [music] looking

to Jesus,

the founder and perfector of our faith,

for the joy that was set before him. He

endured the cross, despising shame, and

he's seated at the right hand of the

throne. Friend, the enemy might make you

think that you don't matter and you're

too far gone.

The Bible that I read tells us

that it's you who he had in mind when he

made his way to the cross. Has he

carried that cross beam with his back

scarred with a crown of thorns upon his

head? As he took lashes upon lashes?

as his skin ripped apart, it was you,

the Bible says, that he had in mind.

So that as he hung upon that cross,

the joy that kept him up there was

relation with each and every one of us.

How dare we walk around thinking that we

don't matter to him

and you matter.

And I feel like he's come today and he's

stopping and he's people in the room

that he's just acknowledging those that

you feel the world has just acknowledged

you as woman.

He wants to call you daughter. For those

guys that are carrying pain and hurts, I

want to call you son.

The thing about loneliness is it doesn't

just take courage to step out of

loneliness, but it takes courage to live

out of loneliness.

As I read my Bible, it says that she was

immediately healed.

And so Jesus could have gone on with his

journey, but he made a point to stop and

restore her in that moment,

but the choice

was hers.

How do you live out of that moment?

Does she go back to the old way of

living, isolated, hurt, carrying the

shame and the burden?

Or does she take one more step of

courage

understanding that

the one that hung upon the cross, the

savior of the world had her in mind.

And her choice was simple. Go back to

what you knew or accept Christ and live

in the freedom of knowing him.

And for us, we've got that choice as

well.

We can walk in here today.

We can have an encounter with him who

was and is and is to come with King

Jesus.

The next step is going to be one of

courage and boldness.

Would you find yourself around a group

of Christian believers? Find yourself in

a life group. Find yourself serving.

Find yourself in your Bible.

Because it takes courage not just to

step out of loneliness and accept it,

but to live out of it and everything

that he's called you to do.

I stand at the door of your heart and I

knock.

And he who lets me in, I'll come dine

with you.

And not only that,

not only that,

but you'd be considered a conqueror just

as I have conquered, says Jesus. I

wonder what the things are in your life

that needs conquering today.

With every head bow and eye closed, I

want to give people an opportunity just

to say yes to Jesus today.

God, I don't know why this word is so

heavy on my heart this morning.

There's people in this room that just

need to hear that you matter

that even if you are the only person on

this earth that God would have sent his

son to die for you

with every head bow and eye closed and

Christians around the room praying for

your brothers and your sisters those who

are about to have an encounter with King

Jesus. Friend, if that's you, you've

never said yes to Jesus, you've never

truly surrendered your life to him as

Lord and Savior, that on the count of

three, would you have the confidence and

the boldness just to raise your hand

high enough and long enough just for me

to see? And you can drop it right

straight back down. I just want to know

who I'm praying with.

Or if you know in your heart at one

point or another you had relationship

with Christ but you've walked away and

you've started to fill your life with

with things with friends that aren't

really there to try and fill a void that

ultimately only Christ can fill anyway.

That's you on the count of three with

every head bow and eye closed.

One friend have the courage to say yes

to him today.

Two know that for the joy that was set

before him he endured the cross and that

joy was you and me. three. If that's you

all across the room, [music] would you

raise your hand high enough and long

enough just for me to see? And you can

stick it right back down.

You want to say yes to Jesus today.

A moment of courage [music]

could change your life for eternity.

all across the room,

whether you raised your hand or not, I

want to say a prayer with you. If you

know that you've decided to accept Jesus

as your Lord and Savior, then we want to

say a prayer with you. And as your

church family, we want to say it out

loud for you as you [music] say it from

your heart to Christ. Would you repeat

after me? Say, "Dear Lord Jesus," come

on, say it with your heart. Say, "Dear

Lord Jesus, thank you for dying on the

cross for me. I pray you'd forgive me of

my sins.

Would you be the Lord and Savior of my

life

in Jesus mighty name? And everybody

said, "Amen." Hey, why don't we stand

[music] for one second? I'm going to

pray for one more group of people before

we we worship.

You're sitting here today and you go,

"Luke, if I got to be honest, there are

things in my life that I'm trying to use

to fill a void of loneliness and hurt

and pain and shame." And friend, with

every head bowed and eye closed, and I

genuinely mean please, just to give

people a moment of privacy with every

head bow [music] and eye closed, with

nobody looking around, I just want

people to know the comfort that they

have in this moment to say, "Luke, would

you pray for me?" If that's you in this

room, would you just put your hand high

enough up high enough and long enough

just for me to see? And you can drop it

straight back down. Hands already going

up. All across the room, hands going up.

You don't raise your hand. Hands going

up all across the room. You You're not

raising your hand to me. You're saying,

"Jesus, I need you."

Thank you, friends. You can drop your

hand. Jesus, you see every hand and you

see every heart, Lord, for those that

didn't put up a hand, but Lord, know in

their heart that they need you and have

accepted that they need you. Lord, I

pray that today would be the day where

we acknowledge that chains are broken in

the name of Jesus. where there's hurt

and pain and shame. Lord, I pray that

right where that place is, [music] Lord,

I pray the name of Jesus would restore

hearts and would draw people back to the

foot [music] of the cross.

Lord, would you give us the courage

today to lay down the friend that isn't

truly there in our life, the one that's

causing us to separate, [music] that

which is fleeting and damaging to our

lives.

Holy Spirit, I pray that you would just

work on the hearts of your people even

right now

so that lives would be a testament

[music]

for the glory and the wonder and the

grace and the love

of the one and only the true king, King

Jesus.