Ruth - Week 3

If you have a Bible, I would encourage you to open to Ruth.

The book of Ruth.

It's towards the front of the book.

And we are in a series.

And I want to set up this morning this way.

It really is for anybody in any relationship.

Specifically, if you are single here today, if you're single here today, this may be the most beautiful chapter of how to approach in a relationship ever.

Because it's got one of the greatest pairings ever of two people who felt inadequate, but then God brought them together and how they approached.

Here is the other side of it, though.

If you are married and you've ever thought, I wish my spouse would just, I wish we could change this.

This is for you.

Not to tell to them and go, hey, I heard this this morning.

Fix yourself.

Okay, that's not this morning.

There will be a tendency this morning for us to hear what they should do.

Fight that.

Because there's a really good chance that if we will listen to our part and what God wants to challenge us with, it will change us together if I'll take my part.

So having said that, let me read Ruth chapter 3, because that's where we are, and I'm going to break it apart in a second.

Ruth 3 · chapter mention

Let me give you the quick background.

If you haven't been here the last two weeks, Naomi is married to Elimelech.

They're a couple.

They go to another land because there's a drought.

And as they go in the other land, they live there about 10 years, plus, and while they're there, Elimelech dies.

Naomi's sad, but she has two sons and they get married.

And oh my goodness, they both die.

And she's so sad.

So she's coming back to her people.

And as she comes back, one of her daughter-in-laws says, Let me come with you.

She says, No, no, no.

And she goes, I'm coming, whether you like it or not.

So she comes back.

Now they're in the land.

And as they get back, she is just bitter.

And she's like, Don't call me, Naomi, call me bitter because God does not like me.

And she's just bitter.

And Ruth, who is her daughter-in-law, says, Let me go glean in the field so we can have something to eat.

Let me go behind somebody and just pick up the scraps.

And she says, Okay, go.

At least you can do that.

So she goes there and man, she finds favor.

She finds favor in the eyes of the man who owns that land.

And we found out last week who that man was.

His name's Boaz.

So Ruth and Boaz are seeing each other.

And the incredible part we saw last week, if you haven't seen it, get the podcast, listen to it.

It's just that both of them are foreigners and both of them don't belong.

And yet they discover each other.

And here's the incredible part is that when we think there's no answer, God has still got a plan.

And then here's how they come together, and here's the crazy cool part.

Because this morning we're going to see every man's desire and every woman's dream.

So if you're a man thinking, man, I wonder what women want, it's in here, and I'll show you in a minute.

And ladies, if you're thinking, man, I want he's so simple, he doesn't get it, but I wonder what's going on in that head.

Every man's desire is in here in this chapter.

I'm going to read it, see if you can pick it out, and if not, I'll point it out.

Starting in verse 1.

One day Naomi, her mother-in-law, said to her, My daughter, should I not try to find you a home for you where you will be well provided for?

It's kind of like, shouldn't I find you a home?

You're a little doggy.

Okay, here we go.

Verse 2, is not Boaz, with whose servant girls you have been a kinsman of ours?

Tonight he will be winnowing barley on the threshing floor.

Wash yourself and perfume yourself, put on your best clothes, then go down to the threshing floor, but do not let him know you are there until he has finished eating and drinking.

When he lies down, note the place where he is lying, because it's going to be dark.

They didn't have lights.

Then go and uncover his feet and lie down, and he and he will tell you what to do.

She says, I'll do whatever you say, Ruth answered.

So she went down to the threshing floor and did everything her mother-in-law told her to do.

When Boaz had finished eating and drinking and was in good spirits, he went over to lie down at the far end of the grain pile.

Ruth approached quietly, uncovered his feet, and lay down.

In the middle of the night, something startled the man, Boaz, and he turned to discover a woman laying at his feet.

Quick note anytime I wake up and there's a woman laying at my feet, it startles me too.

So he asked in verse 9, Who are you?

She says, I'm your servant Ruth.

And she said, Spread your corner of your garment over me, since you are a kinsman redeemer.

And he looks and he says, The Lord bless you, my daughter.

He replied, This kindness is greater than that you have showed earlier.

You have not run after younger men or whether richer or poor.

And now, my daughter, don't be afraid.

I'll do whatever you ask.

All my fellow townsmen know that you are a woman of noble character.

Although this is true that I am near in kin, there is a kinsman redeemer nearer than I.

Stay here for the night.

And in the morning, if he wants to redeem, good, let him redeem.

But if he will not, as surely as the Lord lives, I'll do it.

Lay here until morning.

So she lay at his feet until morning, but got up before anyone could be recognized, and he said, Do not let it be known that a woman came to the threshing floor.

And he also said, Bring me your shawl that you're wearing and hold it out.

And she did so.

He poured in six measure of barley and put it on her.

And then he went back.

Then he went back to town.

When Ruth came to her mother-in-law, Naomi asked, How'd it go?

Her voice was lower or higher.

And my daughter, then she told her everything Boaz had done for her, and added, He gave me these six measure of barley, saying, Don't go back to your mother-in-law empty-handed.

Then Naomi said, Wait, my daughter, until you find out what happens.

For the man will not rest until this matter is settled today.

She saw something.

I want to give another quick background.

If you peek back to the beginning of the story, Naomi.

Naomi and trying to get her daughter-in-laws not to follow her.

If you go back to the first and second chapter, she says, Don't follow me.

God is against me.

She goes, What am I going to get married today and have more kids so you can marry them?

She had all the thoughts of what she could do to fix this.

She could not see what God had planned.

And now she's starting to chime in.

Wait a minute.

Maybe it's not me.

Maybe God has something.

Oh my goodness.

Look at this incredible man.

Ladies, I want you to see Ruth's approach to relationships and what God desires here in us.

In the first two chapters, she has established what he says at the end of verse 11.

All my fellow townsmen know that you are a woman of noble character.

She has proven that.

We hear this, and I will just reiterate really quick, where in the first chapter, you hear it at weddings all the time, where you go, I will go.

Your people will be my people.

Where you lay, I will lay.

Where you die, I'll die.

And that is such a great wedding verse, but it's not a wedding verse.

It is about Ruth to her mother in law.

That's who it's to.

And that's the character she had.

And then she provided and she did everything and gleaned, and it's just this everybody knows she has proven character.

So here's the point.

Once we've proven our character, ladies, once you've proven character, that's when you put on your best.

Look at what she says in verse 3.

She says, wash and perfume yourself.

Put on your best clothes.

But here's the problem.

Our society gets it backwards.

We have a lot of covering and no content.

Everybody says, look your best, but there's no character beneath the surface.

Ladies, let me be very candid for a minute.

Men do not look for covering.

We look for content.

Oh, covering may catch our attention, and it does.

But what we're longing for is character.

What we're longing for is what's below the surface.

I'll never forget the day that I knew I was in love with my wife.

She had offered to help me help a friend move, and I went to pick her up.

She had slept and overslept.

She goes, give me a minute.

I thought, okay, we just started dating.

I'll see how long this minute is.

And she came back to the door a minute later, pulling her hair in a ponytail, no makeup, with t-shirt and jeans on.

She goes, Let's go.

And I was, I mean, I literally, as she walked by to get in my car, I just, I didn't say at that moment.

We had just started dating, but I thought, I love you.

And I just, wow.

Yeah.

We want character first.

We want to see what's beneath the service.

We want to see what is caring and what is important.

Ladies, covering draws attention, but it is not key.

And it comes two chapters after the character and the content.

At that point, we love when you dress up.

We love when you look pretty.

But you will never hear a guy say, Man, I know she's big as a house and mean as a snake.

But oh, did you see her nails?

We don't think that way.

Okay, we don't.

I think she got highlights.

I just can't help myself.

Okay, that's not happening.

It doesn't happen.

We see below the surface and we crave.

We crave for those to look their best.

And I would say that look their best is below the surface.

Below the surface where content carries.

And then look in verses 3, 7, and 10.

She says in the second part, go down to the threshing floor.

So not only look your best, look in verse 7.

And when he had finished eating and drinking, he was of good spirits.

He went over to lay down at the far end of the grain pile.

Don't miss this progression.

Not only look your best, but here's the second part of Ruth's approach, and that is accept him at his worst.

When he is doing everything he can at his lowest point.

And she goes, at that point.

And don't miss this.

Where did he go?

Everybody else goes to rest.

He goes to sleep at the end of the pile of barley.

He's the security guard.

This is one of the lowest positions.

You sleep next to the pile.

Not on a bed, not on a pallet.

You sleep next to a pile.

Here's a blanket.

You go be the security guard.

Because he was the owner.

But he was also the security guard.

Not only look your best, ladies, and we love it when you do that, but it's the character that counts first and foremost.

But accept him at his worst.

Accept him at his worst.

And let him know that, hey, I know who you are.

Look in verse 10, and he's feeling this.

I want you to sense the feeling that he has in verse 10.

He says, This kindness is greater than what you showed earlier.

He's referring to his mother-in-law.

And then look at his insecurity.

You have not run after younger men, which whether richer or poorer.

And he's back to the who am I?

Who am I?

If you were here last week, you remember his inadequacies.

He was not from Israel.

His mom had saved some slaves or had saved some spies and was allowed to be grafted in.

But he was the son of this woman who was a prostitute.

And he was a foreigner.

And he's, who am I?

You could go after somebody that is of Israel, who's richer than I am, and yet you're you're here to me?

And not only did she accept him at his worse, at that point of insecurity, she goes all the way.

She goes all the in.

Ladies, here's every man's desire.

If you look in verse 7, I'm sorry, in verse 9.

In verse 9, he asks, Who are you?

And there's some symbolism here.

He's laying down.

Her mother-in-law said, Uncover his feet.

Have you ever been asleep at night and you can tell when your feet are out of the covers and you're just like, oh my gosh, I got it all over?

And you try to get the blanket out.

You it startles you.

And then when he does that, oh my goodness, there's a woman there.

And then she says, Spread the corner of your garment over me, for you are my kinsman redeemer.

Quick symbolism that's incredible.

When a woman would say, Cover me, she was at the point of total humility and submission.

Cover me meant I'm yours.

I'm yours.

At his worst, she looked at her best and she said, Cover me also.

Cover your feet, but cover me.

I'm yours.

I know you haven't proposed, but my answer is yes.

Because she sensed that, that connection.

She took the first step to go, I and don't miss this, ladies.

When we're at what we feel most humbled, where we are working our hardest and we are the most beat up, what we need is a woman to say, I believe in you wholeheartedly, completely.

I believe in you.

That is every man's desire to have the woman that he loves, that he cherishes the most, at her best when we're at our worst, and to speak into our lives, I believe in you.

On the threshing floor at his worst, as a security guard, she came up looking her best, smelling her best, and she goes, You are the man.

You're the man.

I I very rarely use clips, but as I and it's bothered me because when I first saw this movie, I really liked the story until this one scene, and then I I I don't cry very often.

But when I saw this scene, I've just felt tears coming down my cheek, and I'm like, what is this?

And you don't have to see the movie, but let me just set it up because I want you to see a clip.

And ladies, if you ever wonder what is a man's greatest desire, I want to show you an example of that.

There's a movie called Cinderella Man a few years ago.

It's set back during the Great Depression.

I'll never forget when we went to see it.

The opening scenes of the movie, they're showing people losing their jobs, losing their houses, and scrounging for just firewood to even cook.

And it's like five minutes of this.

And Heather leaned over to me and she goes, This is so depressing.

I said, Yeah.

It's the depression.

And she's like, Oh.

She goes, I hope it gets better.

I said, I'm pretty sure it will.

But they did such a great job.

It's this depression.

James Braddock, he was a fighter and he had done well, and then he had lost it all.

Lost everything.

And it just shows the brokenness of this man scrambling to just get by.

And then he heals up.

And his promoter gets him a fight.

Just, he's thinking, the first fight was just to pay off some debts.

And by mistake, he won.

And then he won another fight and another fight, and then he got stronger.

And then he got to the point where he had a shot at the title.

This is a true story.

But the man he was going to fight was a polished, young, amazingly talented fighter who was actually so far beyond any competition, he'd actually kill the man in the ring.

That's how hard he could hit.

His name was Max Baer.

And James had gone to this point, and he could see from being completely humbled, completely decimated, to where he was able to pay off the bills and provide for his family.

And he got to the point where he's like, and in the interview before the fight, they said, James, what's happened?

You were washed up.

You're old.

And you were washed up, and now this comeback, what's up?

And he goes, I know what I'm fighting for now.

Well, what are you fighting for?

Milk and bread.

Fighting for my family.

And it was with that heart.

He gets to that point.

But then they find out, and his wife finds out, this man has killed somebody in the ring.

And everybody's saying, you will die if you get in the ring with this guy.

He will kill you.

And in this contemplation, she says, please do not do this.

I want you.

And in the conflict of his heart, he's like, but I've got to do this for my family.

I'm willing to die for my family, if that's what it takes, in order to provide security.

I've I've got to do this.

So he goes.

And it's if you if you watch it, you see the bittersweet on his face in the locker room where he's he's willing to fight, he's ready to fight.

But the one person in his world has told him not to.

She goes to pray.

And she walks into this church and it's full of people, and she goes to the pastor, she goes, Father, I've come to pray for Jim.

And she's and he turns, he goes, So have they.

And it's packed.

And she gets it.

What's here?

And then she goes in.

She leaves that church and she goes into the locker room.

And it's one of the most beautiful examples of every man's desire.

I want you to watch this.

Maybe I understand something about having a fight.

You just wonder about who you are.

You're the Bulldog Park.

And the pride of New Jersey.

You're everybody's home.

And yet your kids a hero.

And you are the champion of my heart.

James Jake back.

Max Bear did not have a chance after that.

Every man's desire is to have that belief.

Ruth poured that belief into Boaz.

That was her approach.

And ladies, I want to encourage you just to remember those.

At your best, at his worst.

Every man's desire.

I believe in you.

That's all we crave.

I want us to take a quick look at Boaz.

And Boaz is really wrapped up in one word.

Whatever.

Whatever.

Boaz was a whatever guy.

Look in verse 2.

It says, Is not Boaz, whose servant girls have been you have been a kinsman of ours?

Tonight he'll be at the winnowing barley on the threshing floor.

Whatever it takes.

That's the kind of man Boaz was.

Men don't miss that.

Am I a whatever it takes guy?

I will never forget when Heather and I were dating and it was coming to that point where we were going to get engaged.

And I remember her mother, as Heather went to the restroom, she was visiting one time.

She says, I know that you're the one.

And I was like, Really?

She goes, Because she's always apologized about every other guy on some level.

She's never apologized about you.

Since we've been married a few times.

But not before.

But I'll never forget I was at this major transition stage in my life where I had very little money.

I was pouring into my career.

I'd made a major transition.

And I'll never forget her and her dad and I.

We had just gotten engaged.

And her dad and I were out somewhere.

I don't even remember where.

And he says, Ken, I just know I need you to know this.

Now her dad, the very successful executive, president, general manager of three different major companies, he was successful.

And I was a little worried.

And he says, Ken, I just want you to know I don't worry about you.

I was like, okay.

And he goes, because I see the type of man you are.

And I know that in your character you will do whatever it takes to take care of Heather.

And I know that.

And I was like, wow.

Now, for the men in the room, you'll know my heart.

At that point, I would have walked across glass before I let him down.

We need to be whatever men.

Whatever it takes.

To quote the great theologian Kenny Loggin.

He says, when you're trying to make a living, there ain't no such thing as pride.

There is no job beneath me.

I will do whatever it takes.

Whenever it takes it.

That is where pride should be.

Our society has it flipped.

Our society says pride is in a status symbol.

It's in clothes.

It's in an address.

In God's economy, pride is taken in the attitude of I will do whatever it takes.

I am a whatever man.

That is where pride should be.

Not in things, but in who I am and what I am.

I'll do whatever it takes.

Secondly, he was a, and here it is, guys, I'm going to lay it out.

Don't miss this.

If you ever wonder, I wonder what women's dream is.

I wonder what it means.

It's in verse 11.

Don't miss this.

Circle it, highlight it, underline it, go for verse 11.

Here is every woman's dream.

Verse 11.

I will do all you ask.

And another translation: I will do whatever you want.

And it is funny.

But it is true.

Because when we're in a relationship to get to that point, and I want to add some reality to it.

But men, we need to get to the point where we say, whatever you want.

That statement communicates, I trust your heart.

That communicates also that, you know what, let's live in reality.

Whatever you want.

Well, I want this, this, this, this, this.

Okay.

I'm completely committed, and I will die in an attempt to make that happen.

And then don't miss this.

What can we do to make that a reality?

What can we do?

And I'll give you a very hard real example.

My wife, she's like, I don't want to drive a minivan anymore.

I'm like, I don't blame you, I understand.

She goes, I want an expedition.

Whatever you want.

Whatever you want.

Really?

Yes.

How can we afford that?

I know it was funny to me too, not so much to her.

And we sat down.

And we went to a couple dinners and we talked about it.

I said, we can afford an expedition, but we have to pay cash for it.

We can't afford a payment.

Because gas is going to be more, and we can afford the gas, but we can't afford that and a payment.

And I don't want debt anyway.

So when we can save up enough to trade in the minivan, put some money with it, and buy an expedition, we can get one.

Really?

Yes.

Well, let me tell you, you tell my wife, and she gets on board, it's gonna happen.

We started tenaciously going after that.

And she got to the point one night she came in, um, can I talk to you?

And I'm like, of course you can.

She goes, Okay, here's what I found this one online, and it's like a two, three-year-old um expedition that's got this many miles, and it's this price, and we sell the van for this, we've got this, we've saved up this much, and we can afford it.

Can we get it?

Can we get it, please?

And I'm like, Yes.

Really?

And I'm like, Yes.

Yes.

I'm not against the expedition.

I'm against us being irresponsible to get it.

That's what I'm against.

We get to this point, we, and we go there, and it was one of the greatest moments of our marriage.

Because we got there, and the lady says, Well, here's the deal, and da-da-da-da-da, and tax.

And I'm like, okay, here's the deal.

My kids are hungry.

Here's the title to my minivan.

Here is a check.

I'm writing it right now.

This is all we have.

We're gonna come back in an hour.

You can either said, deal, here's your keys, or we can't do that.

Either one is fine, but that's all we got.

She's like, oh my god, I gotta talk to my manager.

I'm like, that's fine.

We're going to dinner.

We'll be back.

And the whole dinner, do you think they'll take it?

I'm like, I know they will.

And we got back, and they're like, here's your new car.

It wasn't, it was new to us.

But it was one of those greatest moments.

Now, her her her comment next, she goes, This is the best day of my life.

And I'm like, Really?

So, birth of children, marriage to the husband, not just expedition, really?

Just, okay, we're good.

But I want to get to that point where I am a whatever guy.

In verse 10 and 11, it says that everyone knows you're a woman of excellence.

I know my wife is a woman of excellence.

I trust her heart.

She trusts mine.

And when we get together and I am a whatever you want guy, we have gotten to that point now where it's, how can we do that?

The other part was our 10-year anniversary.

She goes, I'm going to Hawaii for our 10-year anniversary.

You're welcome to come.

And uh and it was one of the greatest trips ever because we, for over a year, diligently saved and worked and scrimped and put aside to where when we went, we got to do everything and it was already covered.

And it was a we thing.

And then finally, not only whatever it takes, not only whatever you want, don't miss this one in verses 12 through 15.

Be a guy who says whatever is right.

Whatever is right.

Look what he says in verse 12.

Although it is true, I am a near of kin, there is a kinsman and redeemer nearer than I am.

Stay here for the night.

In the morning, if he wants to redeem good, let him redeem.

But if he will not, surely as the Lord is living, I will do it.

I'm going to do it right.

This is the greatest thing that's ever come across my path, and I want you, and I will take it, your offer, and I will redeem you as my redeemer.

For those of you who don't know this culture, sixty seconds or less, basically, she was married.

Her husband died.

There was an opportunity within the family.

They went down a pecking order.

If I were to die today, it would be the same as my brother would have the opportunity to marry my wife and raise my children as my children.

A kinsman redeemer would be one that said, okay, I'll take her as mine, and I will raise children.

If we have children, they will be in the name of her husband, and they will be raised as theirs, and I will have no rights but all the responsibility.

That's what a kinsman redeemer was.

And Boaz is saying, There's one more in front of me.

Doggone it, your husband had a cousin that was older than me, and but I'm gonna do whatever is right.

And then he takes it, he says, he protected in verse 14 her reputation.

Wait here until morning, and before anybody could recognize, he woke her up and he sent her away.

Before she could be recognized, she didn't know the culture, she didn't know the rules.

And he said, I'm gonna protect your reputation.

Rest here, and then I'm gonna send you back.

But I'm not gonna send.

Not only protect, but provide.

Look at verse 15.

He says, Bring me your shawl, and he pours in six measure of barley.

He says, You're not gonna go away empty-handed.

I'm gonna protect and provide.

Be a whatever man.

Because once that character is there, this is a beautiful example of what it means to be a man, what it means to be a woman.

Every man's dream, every woman's desire is this combination.

Go back over and read this.

As we wrap up this morning, we're gonna see how this happens, what unfolds next, how the dream became reality.

In chapter four, it's beautiful.

But before that, let me just let me just say that this type of character is impossible without God's love and mercy and forgiveness and power living through us.

They both relied on God, not their circumstances.

They had no position.

And yet God showed up.

Don't miss that incredible part.

Let's close in a word of prayer.

Father, thank you for this beautiful, beautiful story of these two incredible people.

Lord, I pray your blessing on the women in here today, and I pray that you would just write on their heart through your spirit whichever of these qualities, wherever they are, if it's a character piece, if it's an acceptance piece, if it's an initiative piece of belief, that you would write on their hearts what needs to happen.

For us men and all the men in here, Lord, I pray that same spirit show us what whatever we need to focus on, Lord, and to become the men you made us to be.