The Choice - Words

Good morning.

Well, last Sunday was a great uh great day.

And uh if you didn't know, we've got a tradition where uh just before people get baptized, they sign the wall, and so that's what the signatures are, and it's so uh exciting to to go back there and just look at all the names on uh on both sides of the the wall.

Uh we've got a DVD for everyone, um, for each family that uh was baptized, and those are free, and they're uh at the source if you'd like to grab one of those.

Today's another big day.

Happy Mother's Day, everyone.

We have a a loving father, an uh an Abba father, you know, a a daddy father, but our father is not exactly a father figure like like we sometimes think, because because really God's the culmination of of all wonderful traits that we normally think of as fatherly or as motherly.

You know, it says that uh in God's image he created us, male and female, he created us.

And so it says in the Old Testament that uh that God birthed, for instance, the nation of Israel.

And in the New Testament, it says that we are born of God.

And uh God tells his Jewish people uh how much he loved them and that that uh he wanted to gather them under his wing like uh mother hand gathers uh her chicks.

You know, so so our father God is uh is really the perfect combination of how he created both man and women in his image.

And you know, kind of like nature and and music, uh one of the greatest reflections of God is when beauty and strength are combined.

And uh and that's what women are, an unusual combination of beauty and strength, and and especially uh moms.

We have all different types of moms.

We've got uh a lot of literal moms, we've got new moms all all the time, and then we have other uh women here who have become moms uh to people, just the way that they love and care and uh protect and take care of them.

So you all are amazing, and and happy Mother's Day to each of you.

Next Sunday is Bless the Bikes.

That's another big day.

You know, I hate that it's raining on Mother's Day, but it's better than raining on Bless the Bikes, probably.

Um But uh that'll be fun.

If you've got a motorcycle, ride it in, invite your friends that uh that ride, and and uh we'll get together in here like always, but then we'll uh go outside and we'll pray over everyone and and over each uh each motorcycle and rider, and we'll have the uh some great food.

Salisbury's are cooking again, I think, and um listen to some tunes and hang out, so that'll be next Sunday.

Uh the 2021 is coming up on July 13th and 14th.

That's uh an event for women.

Uh Susan's leading that.

It's 21 hours of time with God and other women, uh other women.

Um I guarantee you if Susan's involved and and the whole team putting it together, that it's gonna be a party.

It's um and encouraging and uh just a great time to get to know each other better.

Uh signups are in the lobby.

I think last week I said it's this week, but it's really next Sunday is the last week to guarantee a spot.

There'll probably be more rooms, and so you could sign up later.

But if you want to guarantee a room, um be sure and do that by uh next week.

And again, that's uh July 13th and 14th.

Uh thanks for your giving.

It's just uh how we can do what God's having us do together.

Uh it's also an important part of our lives with God and uh learning to trust him and and and him wanting to bless us.

Uh we don't pass a plate, we have uh giving areas, I guess, in the back, and part of that is uh is a kiosk where you can give by a card if you want.

And secure give is the the company that does that.

I'm saying all that because they've got apps out now for um for your iPhone or for an Android.

And so if if that's easier for you, you can just uh search uh Secure Give, uh download that.

You can use the same password and uh um that you use on the the kiosk.

The online giving is is still the same, but eventually we're gonna combine them, and so it's uh it's all one.

So maybe that'll make it easier um for some of y'all.

Let's see what else.

I think finally Susan asked me to announce that she could use some uh technical help uh with the worship team.

So if you have a heart for worship, uh we could use some help on uh lights and also doing the words and and the videos.

If you've got experience, that's obviously great.

But if not and you're just technically oriented, um that would be great too.

So if you'd like to help there, there's cards out in the lobby, you could just uh drop that off at the info desk and then she'll get a hold of you.

All right, let's pray.

Father, thank you for being such a great God, for adopting us as your very own children.

We just praise you for that.

Holy Spirit, thank you for being our teacher.

Please this morning, just could we each leave with something we know that was for us and from you?

And Jesus, we just praise you for being our Savior, our Lord, and our friend.

It's your name we pray.

Amen.

Okay, so we're looking at this little book that God gave us.

Um, to He gave it to us to help us live a great life.

It's only 25 pages long, at least in my Bible.

And there's some of the most practical and life-changing words that we could ever read and apply.

It's a book of God's wisdom, and it makes a great claim.

It says that wisdom is more precious than rubies.

Nothing you desire can compare with her.

She offers you long life in your right hand, riches and honor in her left.

Proverbs 4 says, My child, listen to me and do as I say, and you will have a long, good life.

Solomon wrote most of Proverbs, and you might remember that when he became king, that God asked him, or God said that he would give him anything that he asked.

And Solomon loved the people of Israel, and he was overwhelmed by all the responsibility that he had now.

And so he asked God if he would just give him wisdom.

And God said, Well, because you didn't ask for wealth and long life and honor, but asked for wisdom, I'm going to give you all those.

And what Solomon learned through that really is that God didn't have to zap him with health and honor and financial blessings.

Um, because once he had wisdom, those all came naturally.

And it also kind of speaks to our motives.

I mean, if we were to read Proverbs and say, okay, I want to learn how to get rich, you know, I mean, there's probably some things in there that'll help, but there's also things in there about how a good name is so much more important than riches, and how uh we become wealthy slowly, never by get rich quick schemes, and all that kind of stuff.

And so really the motive, if the motive is that we want to live a great life, if we want to be great dads, we want to be great moms, we want to be great friends, great classmates, have a real impact with our life.

You know, that's the value of this little book.

But then with it comes all other things over uh over time.

Proverbs 19 says, to acquire wisdom is to love oneself.

People who cherish understanding will prosper.

In the book of Proverbs, we're called on to make 11 choices.

And so each week we're we're looking at one and we have an opportunity to make that choice.

The first choice is simply to seek God's wisdom, to see its value, to really go after it, to read a little bit every day, and ask God to supernaturally give it to us so we become more wise.

Last week the choice was uh to work hard, because God says that hard work always pays off.

Now, the reason that seeking wisdom is the first choice is because a lot of the things are difficult.

And so we have to really want it to be able to go after it and apply it.

And this week might be one of those.

This week we get to make a great choice.

In Proverbs 18, it says, Words kill, words give life, they're either poison or fruit.

You choose.

So our choice this morning is our words.

Jesus said it this way.

He said, The words you say will either acquit you or condemn you.

You know, God's wisdom is counterintuitive.

It's different than man's wisdom.

He says, you know, man's wisdom is our words don't really matter.

You know, say whatever you need to say.

Um God says our words matter a lot more than we think.

James, who is Jesus' brother, said, A bit in the mouth of a horse controls the whole horse.

A small rudder on a huge ship in the hands of a skilled captain sets a course in the face of the strongest winds.

A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything or destroy it.

If we're going to have a great life, if we're going to live the life that God has for us, we're going to have to choose our words wisely.

Proverbs 15 says, It is wonderful to say the right thing at the right time.

You know, it's such an opportunity the way we speak to enrich and bless our families, our friends, our co-workers, our our uh classmates.

If we sit down and read Proverbs um all the way through, just in one sitting, just read it through, we're going to be shocked at how often it's about how we talk.

How we speak.

And there's really there, there's maybe six different topics, and we'll hit on some of those later as they apply to friends and apply to children and different things like that.

But really, there's three general big areas that uh that are talked about.

And the first is to speak truth.

Now that might seem pretty obvious, but uh telling the truth is a big deal to God.

In Proverbs 6, it says, There are six things the Lord hates, know seven things he detests: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that kill the innocent, a heart that plots evil, feet that race to do wrong, a false witness who pours out lies, and a person who sows discord in a family.

Now he doesn't say people God hates, he says things that that uh that he hates.

But two out of the seven, 30 percent, are not speaking the truth, not telling the truth.

You know, it's easy to slip into half-truths.

Our c our culture is so comfortable uh with that.

I mean, if we're surprised if advertising is uh true and honest, you know, if a national politician uh says what they think, um tells the truth, we're shocked.

Because we just expect, well, you gotta say, you know, say what you gotta say to to get elected or or uh get by.

It's just kind of part of our culture.

Say what you have to say to be successful, but God's wisdom is different, and God's wisdom is always right.

Proverbs 12 says, The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in those who tell the truth.

There's a book, it's called What People Want, and it surveys employees.

And what do they want from their employer?

You know, is it money, is it benefits, vacations, what is it?

The number one response, 91.5%, the number one response is they want to be told the truth.

They want honesty.

So that's employees.

What do employers want?

There's an article uh recently in a Seattle newspaper.

It says employers are rewarding honesty with respect to resumes these days, says Joseph McCool, the editor of Executive Recruiter News.

That means being direct, honest, and succinct.

They don't want vague resumes and they don't want juiced up resumes.

McCool said that as the economy McCool, don't you?

I wish my last name was McCool.

This guy's name's Joseph McCool, so it's Joe McCool.

Brad Smith, Joe McCool.

McCool said that as the economy improves and more U.S.

employers increase hiring, workers most likely to find new employment will be those who are forthright and honest about their experience.

Hiding dates, exaggerating compensation, providing vague descriptions of work habits, will hurt an applicant's chances, he said.

Proverbs 16 says, the king is pleased with words from righteous lips.

He loves those who speak honestly.

You know, it's true in our jobs, it's true in our relationships.

The most important thing that someone wants in a spouse, according to the Veneer Source Institute of the Family, is honesty.

The top five are honesty, kindness, respect, compatibility, humor.

And so it's employers, employees in our relationships.

Thomas Jefferson said that honesty is the first chapter of the book Wisdom.

Proverbs 12 says, truthful words stand the test of time, but lies are soon exposed.

You know, we can be honest with confidence.

So many times we feel like, you know, this is gonna come back to bite me if I tell the truth, or this is gonna cost me an opportunity, or this is gonna cost me uh uh a sale or whatever it is.

Um but the the same reason we can work hard with confidence, the same reason we can be generous, the same reason we can be kind is God sees it.

You know, God sees it.

God repays us somehow, somehow.

Um last week I talked about going to work for Dunham Bradstreet, and we get transferred to Atlanta with that job and eventually transferred out to Fresno, California.

And we didn't really want to go, and so we're kind of negotiating back and forth about the the opportunity and all that.

And so one of the things is that if we moved out there for the first time, I'd have a company car.

And that wasn't the big thing, but it was a thing.

And so we get out there, and the company car is actually this giant long white station wagon.

Because the guy before me had a boat, and he picked that out so he could uh he could tow his boat up to the lake.

And so on a Saturday, my son and I get in the car and we're going to this meat market and pull into the parking space, and the thing is so long I run right into the car in front of me, parked, and barely hit it, but I get out and there's a scratch, and so I uh find a I look and I can't see uh who owns the car, and so I find a piece of paper and I write a note saying, hey, accidentally hit your car.

I got this boat of a car myself, and um, and give my phone number and all that.

So Andre and I go in and and uh we pick out uh the stakes and whatever we're getting from this meat market, and we go to pay, and the guy's like, oh no, you it's free today.

I'm like, why is that?

He says, Well, because I just I saw what you did with the car there, and I just really appreciate honesty.

And I was so pleased by that, not because of the stakes, but because my son was there, you know, and and so he could see that uh that honesty pays off.

And and even when it doesn't seem like it is, God makes sure that it pays off over time.

He's the one that rewards us.

In Isaiah 33, it says, Those who are honest and fair, who refuse to profit by fraud, who stay far away from bribes, who refuse to listen to those who plot murder, who shut their eyes to all enticement to do wrong, these are the ones who will dwell on high.

The rocks of the mountain will be their fortress, food will be supplied to them, and they'll have water in abundance.

Our Father sees everything, and he rewards honesty.

In Ephesians 4, Paul says to uh speak the truth in love.

And love is really the source of being truthful, the source of being honest.

You know, Jesus says that we should treat others the way that we want to be treated ourselves, and none of us like to be lied to.

You know, so so being truthful is the loving thing to do.

But another part of truth is how we apply it, and that's the truth in love.

You know, that to speak truth to each other gently and kindly and carefully.

Because if we speak the truth without love, we're just mean.

You know, but if we speak the truth with love, we can help each other so much.

In Proverbs, it says that the wounds of a friend are faithful.

You know, we can keep each other from disaster.

We can encourage others to be what God wants us to be.

If I have a friend and you know, maybe they've got a bad attitude about their kids or wife or work or whatever, you know, at the right time I can really help them by saying something and letting them stop and and uh think about it, by sharing a little bit of truth.

In Proverbs 9, it says, so don't bother correcting mockers.

They'll only hate you.

But correct the wise and they will love you.

Instruct the wise and they will be even wiser.

Teach the righteous and they will learn even more.

In job interviews, I try to in a kind way tell the truth.

And it's a little unusual, I I think, that we will look at a lot of resumes, we'll do a lot of phone interviews, maybe now down to five applicants, and we usually only hire one of those five.

So four of them, four applicants we're probably not gonna offer an opportunity to.

So what I try to do as soon as I can tell where if the person's not a right fit is to tell them.

Not go through the whole process, not say, hey, we're gonna have to think about this.

We had other applicants, and then send them an email or or ask somebody to call them.

I try to tell them right then, in a loving way, say, hey, you know, this this probably isn't a good fit for you, and let me tell you why.

And maybe talk about how God's wired them and what might be a great uh opportunity or what might be a better uh career choice, or or even how they could uh improve so it would help them uh the next time they interview.

But the reaction to that is shock.

I mean, over and over people say, wow, I've never had someone be honest to me before in an interview, you know, and then they're thankful.

And then I always, of course, finish with something encouraging because, you know, and it's always it's always true, you know, you're gonna find a great job.

I can tell that that uh you're gonna, you know, really be good as a salesperson, but maybe you're better at face-to-face sales or whatever, you know, whatever it is.

But but people appreciate the the honesty.

That's a small thing, but in Proverbs 24 it says, an honest answer is like a kiss of friendship.

You know, when we just take time in love to share the truth.

So we can speak the truth.

Speak truth.

Now the next one's a little more challenging, and this is one of those that we've got to work ourselves up to love wisdom in order to want to do this next one.

And that is to live great lives, to live God's wisdom, we need to simply speak less.

Less.

Proverbs 17 says, a truly wise person uses few words.

A person with understanding is even temp tempered.

Even fools are thought wise when they keep silent.

With their mouth shut, they seem intelligent.

See, we're all wired differently.

And some of us are are more expressive than others, you know, obviously.

And um, my problem sometimes is actually not talking enough, you know, where I just don't share enough with Susan, or if I'm thinking I love her, you know, be sure and tell her and and things like that to communicate uh more.

But even so, even though I'm wired to be a little more uh quiet, I would say that the majority of regrets I have in my life are things that I've said.

You know, things that I just wish I had not said.

Proverbs 10 says, Too much talk leads to sin.

Be sensible and keep your mouth shut.

Proverbs 29 says, There's more hope for a fool than for someone who speaks without thinking.

Proverbs 21 says, watch your tongue and keep your mouth shut, and you will stay out of trouble.

I like Proverbs because you know they don't miss words.

It's like kind of right between the eyes.

But it it's true.

We've got a guy at our company now who's a great guy, he's one of the leaders, uh, and he's got a bigger-than-life personality.

And so when we started working together, I noticed that anytime he would come into a room or into a business situation, he would just kind of take over, you know, and and draw all the all the attention it would become about him.

And usually these meetings aren't about him, they're about, you know, a customer or a strategic partner or something like that.

And so I was talking with him about that, you know, and he's like, well, it's just how I'm made.

I don't know what what to do about it.

I said, well, try this, just don't talk for the first 10 minutes of any meeting.

You know, because he's you know, so you can just kind of ease into the meeting and And and listen and see where it's going and ease into the the conversations.

And that was a while back, and I actually forgot we had that conversation.

We had a um a business dinner a couple weeks ago, and afterwards Susan and I were there and and we're talking about how great this dinner was.

And he said, Yeah, did you notice I didn't say anything for the first 10 minutes?

And and I'd forgot about that, but it was true, and and he is so much more effective.

You know, by just starting those things by by talking a little bit less.

William Shakespeare said, When words are scarce, they are seldom spent in vain.

Proverbs 13 says, Those who control their tongue will have a long life.

Opening your mouth can ruin everything.

One advantage of not talking so much is not just that we don't say stupid things or hurtful things or uh that type of thing.

With me, it's usually trying to say funny things.

And uh Susan always says, you know, here's the line, and you're over here, so pull it back.

But an even bigger advantage of talking a little bit less is that when we're not talking, we can listen.

Proverbs 21 says, simpletons only learn the hard way, but the wise learn by listening.

You know, great moms, great dads, great salespeople, great friends all share the same trait.

They're all great listeners.

Got a guy, um, sorry, this is another work-related story, but uh it illustrates this point.

Um, years ago, I met a guy at a friend's house who was just maybe one of the most naturally gifted salespeople I'd ever seen.

You know, he just uh drew people to him, you know, and he was so positive and so enthusiastic.

And and so I asked him what he did, and eventually he came to work at our company, and he just did terrible.

I mean, he couldn't sell a thing.

And and so I listened to him for about half a day and and told him, hey, we got to make some changes here.

And he was really frustrated.

And so I asked him to time his conversations and specifically to time how much he talked and how much his potential customer talked.

And I said, if you talk more than 30%, you cannot be successful.

In fact, if you talk more than 30%, you're not gonna be able to stay here.

And so he worked on that really hard, and he became our top salesperson for years, and is still maybe the top salesperson in the whole industry.

Because you just by learning to talk less and listen, you know, great salespeople are all great listeners because they're not trying to force something on somebody, they're trying to understand what the problem is and how they can help them solve it.

Proverbs 18 says, wise men and women are always learning, always listening for fresh insights.

And so we can be aware of that and we can try to talk a little bit uh uh less.

We can ask God to help us supernaturally, you know, particularly if we're wired to talk more.

We probably need God's help to change this from the inside out, to step it back and just talk a little bit uh less and listen more.

Okay, so God's wisdom says to speak truth, to speak less, and the most powerful is to speak life.

It's for us to speak life.

Proverbs 15 says, gentle words are a tree of life.

Proverbs 12 says, some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing.

Proverbs 16 says, kind words are like honey, sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.

See, God's wisdom is that literally by choosing our words, we can share healing and health and love and life.

You know, man's wisdom is that cynicism and negativity is somehow being a realist.

Looking for the good and overlooking faults is somehow fake.

But the exact opposite is true.

The opposite is true.

Seeing the good in people is the truth.

It's how God sees us, He sees the good in us.

Seeing the good in situations is truth.

It's how God sees situations.

It is how God sees you, and it's how a great life works.

In Philippians 4, it says, summon it all up, friends.

I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious, the best, not the worst, the beautiful, not the ugly, things to praise, not things to curse.

Put into practice what you've learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized.

Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.

The best, not the worst, the beautiful, not the ugly, things to praise, not things to curse.

That's how life works.

That's how we get into God's beautiful harmony.

Benjamin Franklin said, I'll speak ill of no man, and all the good I know of everybody.

Proverbs 12 says, Worry weighs a person down, but encouraging word cheers a person up.

Proverbs 18 says, Wise words satisfy like a good mill.

The right words bring satisfaction.

You know, God's given us such a unique and incredible opportunity to speak life.

Just to speak life every day.

You know, if we have a waiter or a waitress, and we say, hey, you know, you're really a great waitress, it's gonna make her day.

It might, she might remember it for months.

Chances are no one has ever told her how great a job she does.

Yeah, just by simply speaking life, by encouraging people, by seeing the best, seeing the beautiful, finding things to praise.

You know, husband and wife, Susan, I were talking about this three nights ago, of how we all want compliments from other people and that type of thing, or people to notice us, but nothing means more than what she thinks.

You know, and the same, I think that uh for her, so if we just remember to encourage each other and speak life, see the best, see the beautiful, things to praise.

As parents, you know, if we can remember that our our kids sometimes are insecure and they're scared and they're just kids, you know, they're not little adults, they're just kids.

You know, and if we can praise them, encourage them, catch them doing something right, finding them doing the good things.

You know, there's other parts, important parts of parenting, you know, and we'll see some of those in this little book.

You know, things like teaching discipline and training and things like that, but there's nothing more important than how we speak to our children.

Speaking words of life, seeing the best, the beautiful, things to praise.

There's an account of one man's interaction with God.

It's in Ezekiel chapter 37.

Ezekiel 37 · chapter mention

I've shared this before because it's such an important verse, an important metaphor for us as people, but also us together as a church.

And so God gives this guy, Ezekiel, a vision.

And in the vision, he takes him out to this valley.

And just imagine a desert, just like a sun-bleached valley, and the whole bottom of the valley is covered with nothing but dried up bones.

And God tells him to speak life over the bones, to tell the bones, he says, tell the bones that God is going to bring you back to life.

And so in Ezekiel 37, I prophesied just as I've been commanded.

As I prophesied, there was a sound, an old rustling.

The bones moved and came together, bone to bone.

I kept watching, sinews formed, the muscles on the bones, then skin stretched over them, but they had no breath in them.

He said to me, Prophesy to the breath, prophesy, son of man, tell the breath, God the Master says, Come from the four winds, come, breath, breathe on these slain bodies, breathe life.

And so I prophesied just as he commanded me.

The breath entered them, and they came alive.

They stood upon their feet, a huge army.

Then God said to me, and this is the important part, Son of Man, these bones are the whole house of Israel.

Listen to what they're saying.

Our bones are dried up, our hope is gone, there's nothing left of us.

Therefore, prophesy.

Tell them, God the master says, I'll dig up your graves and bring you out alive, O my people.

Then I'll take you straight to the land of Israel.

When I dig up graves and bring you out as my people, you'll realize that I'm God.

I'll breathe my life into you and you'll live.

Then I'll lead you straight back to your land and you'll realize that I am God.

I've said it and I'll do it, God's decree.

See, we all live in a valley of dry bones.

I mean, people around us every day are hurting.

Their hope is gone.

They believe there's nothing left for them.

We can speak life.

God loves you.

You're valuable.

God himself created you in his own image.

He's not forgotten you, he's not given up on you.

He'll bring you back to life, he'll change your life, he's got a future for you, he's got a plan for you.

There's great hope.

Pretty soon there's a rustling sound, you know?

Muscles come together, then sinu.

And people come back to life.

And God gives us that opportunity.

With our words, we can help God bring people back to life.

Proverbs 1821 says, Words kill, words give life, they're either poison or fruit, you choose.

And so this is our third choice.

We choose our words.

We choose our words, knowing we can change our life if we change our words.

We'll speak truth, we'll speak less, and mostly we will speak life.

We will choose our words.

And so we'll stop there.

If the worship team wants to come up, in fact, let's stand.

We'll get ready for one last song together.

So we're talking about applying God's wisdom in our everyday lives.

In 1 Corinthians, it says that Christ is the power of God, and he's the wisdom of God.

That Jesus is the wisdom of God.

You know, and so I guess the first thing, even before our first choice, the greatest thing is to choose Jesus, is to reconnect with our loving Father through Jesus, who loved us and died for us and showed us what love is like, showed us what God is like, and it is so simple.

And we do it with our words.

You know, we just say to him in our own words, in our own way, whatever it is that's on our heart.

You know, Jesus, I need you.

Jesus, I want to trust you.

Jesus, help me.

Jesus, change me, save me, forgive me.

You know, whatever it is.

And we are created in the image of God, all of us with the Spirit.

And so when we do that, our spirit comes alive, it connects with God's Spirit, and we come alive.

And he starts a process that changes us from the inside out to be more like him.

You know, he does that supernaturally, he does that as we interact with each other, and he does it by doing what we're doing today, by looking at his word, changing us from the inside out.

Hope you have a great uh week.

Let's pray.

So, Father, we praise you.

We thank you for giving us everything we need for life.

And God, please give us a hunger, not just for your wisdom, but just a desire to speak the right words, just to be truthful and to and to speak carefully and less.

And mostly, God, just give us a heart to speak life.

Open our eyes so we can see the things that are good, see the things that are beautiful, see the things to praise.

God, help us to be like you.

Help us to speak life.

We thank you and we trust you in Jesus' name.

Amen.