In Relation To: Honor Your Parents

Like I said a few minutes ago, we've got some some really special members of our family here with us this morning.

All of our kids, uh kindergarten all the way through through junior high, are with us right now.

Normally they're in their own areas.

Uh and so, parents that have kids sitting with you, thank you for letting them be in here with us.

Thanks for coming.

Kids, we want you to know something.

Um, we love you, number one, and you can have every bit as real and powerful a relationship with God and an understanding of who God is as any of us in the room.

Your ability to know God and follow Him is every bit as real as it is for any of us who are adults.

There's no connection with age and with relationship with God.

And so we are so glad that you guys are here this morning.

We're gonna spend some time talking to you specifically and to all of us because today is about this one specific relationship called your parents, and what it looks like to honor your parents, to respect your parents, and to obey your parents.

Woo.

Yeah, right?

Right?

And we're gonna talk about that here in just a second, but before before we get into the specifics, I have a really basic question, and I want everyone to participate with this.

How many of you are a fan of pie?

And by pie I mean the circular thing that you put in your mouth, pie.

Right?

Any pie fans in the room?

Yeah, yeah.

Pie pie is a very versatile food, comes in a lot of different varieties.

You have savory pies like quiche.

Anyone say quiche is my favorite kind of pie?

Quiche?

No?

Okay.

How about pizza?

Right?

Pizza, that's a technically that's a pie.

And then you've got your sweet pies you have.

You have pumpkin pie, you have apple pie, you have pecan pie, you have pecan pie.

Those are different.

Um different pies.

Depends on where you're from.

That's all the only difference.

How many of you and kids participate with me for a minute?

How many of you would say I prefer cake over pie?

I'm a cake person, not a pie person.

Okay?

Yeah.

Pie wins.

That's all I'm trying to say.

Pie wins.

It wins.

You know, so so I'm talking about this for a specific reason.

Pie is not only a popular thing that we eat, but pie is such a universal concept.

It stretches across really the whole the whole earth and all people groups.

People understand pie.

And we use pie as a way for us to understand life.

That's how universal pie is, hence the invention of the pie chart.

Like we literally have charts that look like pies to help us understand life.

And so I spent some time this week, and by spent I mean wasted some time this week, looking at some very interesting pie charts.

Uh, and I want to share some of these with you because they're they're very amusing.

So, guys, go ahead and put the first one up.

Let me explain what this one is.

This is a pie chart that is all about the advice given in women's magazines.

Okay?

So you can see there's only two slices and they're virtually equal.

Uh the lighter colored slice is advice that centers around telling you that you are perfect the way you are.

Do not change a thing about yourself.

All right?

The darker slice of pie is advice telling you how to change everything about yourself in two weeks or less.

You know, lose 10 pounds, complete makeover, look different.

It's that's all of it's just in those two categories.

All right, that's a pie chart.

Next pie chart.

Um, this one's awesome, super accurate.

This is a pie chart that represents the actual purpose of a smoke detector in your house.

Not the intended purpose, the actual purpose.

That small dart slice that you see right there, that's to tell you that your house is on fire.

Okay?

That giant lighter slice, that is to tell you that you're not good at cooking.

Okay?

That's the in that's the purpose of a smoke detector in your home.

All right, this next chart, this one's actually really like, this one's, guys, go ahead and move on.

This was really big to me, my childhood.

Uh, the the darker, smaller slice represents what percentage of this pie chart does not look like Pac-Man.

Um, the larger yellow slice, that is what percentage of the pie chart looks exactly like Pac-Man.

And as a child of the 80s and 90s, I like my Pac-Man.

Uh, one final one, I think.

No, no, I've got two more.

This one.

Anything that's a circle is a pie chart.

Okay?

The red, which is all of it, represents the percentage of people compelled to push a red button when they see it just to see what it does.

Okay?

Because let's be honest, you're looking at that on a table, you're like, I want to push the button.

Like, I want to push the button, right?

One more, this is great.

This is a pie chart that explains the mathematical concept of pi, pi, which is the ratio of a circle circumference to its diameter.

And so if you've ever been like, what is pi?

What is this 3.14159 and a bunch of other numbers thing?

There you go.

That's a pie chart that explains pie.

It's it's really simple.

So there's a pie chart for everything.

That's the that's the point.

And the reason I'm talking about this, there's a point, I promise.

You're like, why are we talking about pie?

Um number one, pray for the people in the second gathering, because when I talk about food closer to lunch, I can see it.

They're they're you guys just ate breakfast, you're fine, they're starting to get toward lunch, and they're like, please stop talking about pie and food and reminding us that we need to eat.

But the reason we're talking about this is because we often think about our life kind of like pie.

We see all the areas and aspects of our lives as slices in a pie.

Right?

So I have I have my relationship with my wife, and I have my relationship with my kids, and those are like slices in the pie.

I've got my physical health, that's a slice.

I have my finances, that's a slice.

I have my career, that's a slice.

You know, kids and students, you have your schoolwork and your relationship with your friends in schools and your extracurricular activities, those are all slices in the pie.

I have I have my my faith, my relationship with God, that's a slice in the pie.

That's how we often think about our lives, and so we have some slices that we're really excited about.

We think those slices are good.

We have other slices that we're like, that one needs some work.

That slice isn't the way I'd like it to be.

The problem though is that's not how pie works.

Like, I've never had a pie where one slice was amazing, and then the very next slice was like, ugh, that slice wasn't very good.

That's not how pie works.

I've never had a pie where I eat a slice and I'm like, I don't like that.

I know, I'll try another and see if that one's better.

Right?

It's just the pie.

And so a better way of thinking about life is like ingredients in a pie.

It all blends together, it all comes together.

And so there's no way to have to have one aspect of our lives that's way out of whack and it somehow be separate from the others.

It doesn't work that way.

So we've been talking for the last several weeks about relationships.

We're going through the book of Ephesians in the New Testament of the Bible, and we're looking at this specific section where the author, Paul, talks about three key relationships that affect every single one of us at some point in our lives.

Husbands and wives, children and parents.

I should only count husbands and wives, I always count with fingers and I only have five.

So husbands and wives, children and parents, employers and employees.

He goes through God's perspective on these relationships, and what we have to understand is that these are completely and totally connected to our life with God.

It's not a separate category of life, it's not a slice in a pie, it's it's all the pie.

So Jesus, he always connects loving God with loving people.

In Matthew chapter 22, this man comes to Jesus and says, Teacher, what must I, or rather, he says, What is the greatest commandment?

Matthew 22 · chapter mention

What's the greatest commandment?

All the commandments in the Old Testament, by the way, there's a lot of them, like a lot.

He's like, which one is the most important?

And Jesus responds very clearly.

If you have our mobile app, I'm just reading from that.

He says, You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.

This is the first and greatest commandment.

And the second is equally important.

Love your neighbor as yourself.

The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.

He says, Hey, your relationship with God, loving him, it is deeply connected to your relationship with people.

They ask for one commandment, he gives two, because he says, look, you cannot love God with everything you have if you don't love people.

And so, as we've been discussing these relationships, this is not a separate aspect of life.

If we want to serve God, those of us who say, I'm a Jesus follower, if you want to be a Jesus follower and live in relation to Jesus in a way that is honoring and pleasing to God, you have to live in relation to others in a way that is honoring and pleasing to God.

These are part of the same pie.

So we've been going through these relationships, and today we're talking to children.

Now, as we've gone through the relationship so far, we've we've had to every week say, hey, not all of us are husbands, not all of us are wives, not all of us are parents, but the reality is all of us are children.

And if that doesn't apply to you, I want to hear your story so bad.

I want to know how you're not a child of someone.

Physically and spiritually.

If you've given your life to Jesus, you are a child of God.

We sing that out because it's true.

The Bible says, anyone who belongs to Jesus has been adopted as God's very own son, very own daughter.

We're all children.

What we're going to do for a little bit is discuss God's perspective of how to be a child.

He sums it up in Ephesians chapter 6, verses 1 through 3.

Ephesians 6:1–3

Children, obey your parents.

No, no, no woos for that one.

Because you belong to the Lord.

For this is the right thing to do.

Honor your father and mother.

This is the first commandment with a promise.

If you honor your father and mother, things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.

Obey your parents.

Honor your father and mother.

Now, what we're going to do practically this morning is talk to two groups of people.

Because some of us in the room, we're children who are dependent on our parents, whether we like it or not.

Like a lot of you guys in the room, young people, listen up.

You live with your parents.

You depend on your parents.

They put the roof over your head, they put the food on the table, they provide for your basic needs.

Maybe you're even a college student and you don't live at home anymore, but your parents are still paying bills and providing for your education.

In some way, you are dependent on your parents.

And we're going to talk to you.

And then many of us in the room, maybe even most of us, we're no longer dependent on our parents.

In fact, some of us might even have situations where, in some ways, our parents are depending on us.

And sometimes whenever we we leave home and we're no longer under the authority of our parents, that actually complicates the relationship a little bit.

So how do we walk out honoring our fathers and our mothers when we're not there anymore?

When we're adults.

So we're going to talk to both groups, but to talk to that first group, I'm actually going to bring someone out named Madison.

Madison, go ahead and make your way out.

Madison is our youth pastor.

And uh he's an awesome guy.

I've known Madison since he was a sixth grader.

I was his youth pastor for years.

Um, he's been leading our students here for several years.

He actually launched our fourth and fifth grade ministry, what, like three something years ago?

And now he does our junior high in our high school.

He and his wife Hannah are an awesome part of our church.

And so since Madison is always talking to the kids, I thought it made sense to have Madison talk to the kids.

And this is his first time in the big room, and I'm just gonna be honest with you guys, it's kind of nerve-wracking when you're up here for the very first.

Sweaty palms right here.

Sweaty palms.

So uh let's hear it from Madison and the sweaty palms, okay?

All right, guys.

I appreciate it.

So for just a couple minutes, I'm gonna be speaking to the kids in the room.

And uh by kid, I mean if you live under the roof of your parents or stepparents or grandparents' house, if you live under the roof of somebody who's taking care of care of you.

So let me hear you if that's you.

Oh, come on, kids, let me hear you if you're a kid in the room.

And okay, there we go.

And the kids are all asleep because it's only uh 10 15.

Okay, so um they they would still be asleep otherwise.

So to the kids in the room, I'm gonna be speaking to you.

And Paul actually speaks to you with what Justin just read, and I'm gonna read it again because that is written directly to you.

So listen up.

Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do.

Honor your father and mother.

This is the first commandment with a promise.

If you honor your father and mother, things will go well for you, and you'll have a long life on the earth.

Okay, before I continue, parents, I need to ask your permission.

Do you give me permission to let your kids be totally and 100% honest with me?

Raise your hand, parents, if you agree to let them be 100% and totally honest.

Kids, if your parent is raising your hand, this is your chance.

This is your chance.

So if you look to your right or left and you see your parent, they're raising their hand, that's your chance.

Okay, kids, how many of you have a rule at home or a boundary or some like expectation that you have to do that you just do not understand at all why it's there at all?

Raise your hand if that's you.

Okay.

Yeah.

That was me too.

Definitely me.

And parents, do not get these kids in trouble for what they say today, okay?

Just look at them, laugh, and then forget about it as you leave today.

So I had a rule that I did not understand.

Anytime I sat at the dinner table, and this is included in my house or at a restaurant, I was not allowed to say one specific word.

That word was disgusting.

I was not allowed to say the word disgusting.

And kids, you understand how challenging it is not to say the word disgusting.

Because there's a lot of things that are disgusting.

And I'm so glad Justin brought it up and asked you guys if you like pie, because what I was gonna bring up as an example of the most disgusting thing that was ever sat in front of me was quiche.

Spinach quiche.

It's technically pie, but it's disgusting.

For those of you who don't know what skin spinach quiche is, it's basically a soggy egg pie with soggy wilted spinach in it.

That's spinach quiche.

And one word I would use to describe that at any age is disgusting.

That doesn't count as pie.

No, this is not dinner.

How can you how can you say that this is dinner?

And so I didn't understand why I wasn't allowed to be honest.

I just wanted to tell the truth.

I wanted my mom to know that it was absolutely disgusting so that she would never make it again.

But my dad had the rule: no saying the word disgusting, and I just did not understand it.

Eventually I I grew up a little bit and I understood that he was trying to protect my mom's feelings when she has spent a lot of time preparing that meal for us.

And if we sit down and we go, this is disgusting, it probably hurt her feelings a ton.

I also understood that if we said that at a restaurant, it would probably make the waiter think that there's something going like completely, absolutely wrong, and they'd run over there.

So my dad was just protecting himself from the awkward conversations, but I didn't understand it at the time, so I would ask why and say disgusting a lot.

Okay, next question.

How many of you uh kids have a rule at home that you just think is wrong?

It's you do not agree with it.

It might be bedtime, it might be your curfew, it might be okay.

Yeah, raise your hand, raise it high.

It's okay, it's totally okay.

I've had these rules.

There are plenty of rules that you just think are completely wrong.

You do not agree with those rules at all.

And you might argue with your parents because you feel like you know better.

You know you, you know you could do that thing that you want to do, even though they don't want you to do it at all.

For me, it was seeing rated R movies.

And now I won't sp uh say any specific rated R movie because I want to save everyone from the conversation.

But in middle school and in high school, I wanted to see rated R movies that all of my buddies were going out to the movies to see.

And my parents said, absolutely not, you're not gonna go.

And I would argue and argue and beg and beg and try to get my dad on my side or try to get my mom on my side to kind of convince the other people because I understood the rule.

I knew why the rule was there.

My parents didn't want me to see things that would scar me or affect me in terrible ways.

I just didn't think that they were right.

I just knew that I could handle it.

Whatever happened on that screen, I could handle it.

And it turns out uh I definitely couldn't handle it on those movies that I ended up getting to see scared me, terrified me.

Anyways, so you all understand what it's like to have a disagreement with your parents on the rules that are in your house.

You want one thing, your parents, they want another, and you end up butting heads or arguing or crying or slamming doors or stomping upstairs or whatever it is, running away.

I don't know what you guys do.

You end up freaking out just because you're butting heads on that disagreement.

Now, I want to talk to you guys today about one person who understands exactly where you're at.

He understands exactly the position you're in as a kid, as a kid who disagrees with their mom or dad or whoever's taking care of them.

And that person we're gonna talk about today is Jesus.

Jesus completely and totally understood what it was like to be a kid.

Jesus was a seven-year-old once, Jesus was a 13-year-old, an 18-year-old.

Jesus had earthly parents, Mary and Joseph, and I'm sure they weren't always on the same page.

Jesus had a really clear and uh amazing heavenly father as well.

So he had like a bonus parent.

And Jesus and his heavenly father also weren't always on the same page.

And you might be going, wait, Jesus is supposed to be perfect.

How could he not be on the same page with God the Father?

But he was.

He had that same conflict that you might experience with your parents.

When he was going to uh face a fake trial, when he was going to face his death, when he was going to face being tortured and in pain, he begged his father to do something different.

He showed up and prayed to God the Father and he said, God, if there's anything you can do, let's change this up, let's do it a little bit differently.

He says this in Luke 22, 42.

He says, Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me.

Jesus didn't agree with how God the Father's plan was gonna go.

Jesus didn't want to face what God the Father had for him.

But it's so cool because even though Jesus disagreed or Jesus didn't feel like doing the thing that was facing him, he gives us a blueprint, he gives us a roadmap on how to deal with our parents when we disagree with them.

And it's actually in the very next sentence, he says this yet I want your will to be done, but not mine.

I want your will to be done, but not mine.

When Jesus disagrees, when Jesus faces something that his father is asking him to do, he says, I don't want to do it, but I want to do your will, not mine.

I promise every single one of you, whether you dedicate or not kid, we would benefit hugely from following Jesus' example in this moment.

If we could look at our parents and say, I understand you don't want me to say disgusting, even though I really want to, but it's your will, not mine.

If we can make Jesus' words our words, things will go well for us.

Things will go well for us.

And this is the cool thing about saying your will, not mine, to mom and dad.

If you say, I will obey you even though I don't want to, is you're not only saying that to mom and dad.

When you're saying to your parents that you're going to obey them, you are obeying Jesus too.

That's what Ephesians 6.1 said.

It said, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord.

It doesn't mean obey your parents because you think the rule is great.

It doesn't mean obey your parents because you agree with it or understand it or because you feel like they deserve it.

No, it's because Jesus earned it.

Obey your parents because you belong to the Lord.

It's that pie thing.

You can't separate your relationship with your parents from your relationship with Jesus.

You can't separate your obedience to Jesus from your obedience to your parents.

So we're told to obey our parents because of Jesus, because we belong to Christ.

And Christ gave everything for us.

And then we're promised that it will go well with us if we obey our parents.

And it went well for Jesus.

You might be wondering, hey, I know what happens to Jesus.

It didn't go well for him.

He was killed.

That's an intense thing.

But it did go well for Jesus.

Jesus died, yes, because he was obedient to his father.

But because of his obedience, he now gets to be with every single one of you.

There's nothing that separates us from him.

He gets to be with the people that he created and the people that he loves because of what of his obedience.

And because of that, we have there's no separation between us.

And then he's not just having to obey his father all the time because he actually sits right next to his father and makes the decisions with him.

In Matthew 28, 18, when Jesus is raised from the dead, he says this Jesus came and told his disciples, I have been given all authority on heaven and earth.

So Jesus goes from having to obey to being the decision maker.

It goes well for Jesus, and it will go well for you too.

I'm not saying it's gonna be easy, because it won't be.

It wasn't easy for Jesus, but it'll go well for you.

Let me just put it this way: all the things that I wanted in my life, all of the being able to stay up late and play video games, all um to get my curfew extended, to be able to drive to uh my friend's house or whatever it was, whatever thing you want, I imagine that if your parents trusted you, they would let you do that a little bit more often.

And you might be wondering, how do you get that trust from your parents?

Obedience.

If your parents know that they can trust you to follow the rules when you're with them, they'll trust you to follow the rules when you're not with them.

If you can take out the trash today, they'll give you the car keys tomorrow.

Maybe not.

Maybe not.

Yeah.

If you're 16 and have passed all the appropriate driving tests.

But if they trust you with that obedience, you build trust.

And with that trust, you have freedom.

You might have freedom to do the things that you want to do just a little bit more.

It will go well for you.

So I'm just going to read it one more time.

Children, you understand this a little bit better.

Here's what Paul says to you.

Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do.

Honor your father and mother.

This is the first commandment with a promise.

If you honor your father and mother, things will go well for you and you'll have a long life on the earth.

Thank you guys for listening so much.

Thank you.

Parents, even if you're you're here and you have kids that aren't old enough yet to be in Madison's group with the junior high high school, be excited and thankful that that's part of their future.

I'll say I've got four kids, and the fact that there's people like Madison and the rest of our youth team that are passionate about pouring into them, coming alongside you as a parent to speak wisdom and truth into your kids' lives and give them a perspective that they are not gonna get from the outside world.

That is a resource that you need to take advantage of.

So if we have something going on for kids, for youth, bring them.

I'm telling you, it will benefit you and your family greatly.

Madison did a great job.

Um, what I want to do for a sec, don't clap for Madison.

You already clapped once.

Don't do that again.

He's good.

We gotta keep, we gotta keep him.

No, he's awesome.

Clap for him, he's awesome.

One of my favorite people.

Um real quick, I just want to highlight something that a lot of us deal with because what Madison talked about was what do you do when you're dependent on your parents?

You obey them.

In the Greek language that Paul wrote with, the word obey was actually a compound word, and it was it was the word listen combined with the word under.

So to literally translate the Greek word that we translate obey would be to say listen under.

In other words, you're saying, I'm gonna listen to you, I'm gonna respect you, I'm gonna honor you, I'm gonna obey you because I'm underneath you.

But what happens when we're no longer underneath our parents?

It gets a little bit more complicated.

Now here's the reality: those of you in the room who are no longer under the authority of your parents, you don't live at home, you're not provided for, you're your own person, you're an adult, you don't have to obey everything your parents say anymore because you're no longer under them.

That has changed, but you still need to honor them.

That never changes.

You still have to honor your father and mother.

That never expires, but it does get more complicated.

Now, for many of us, maybe it's not complicated because maybe your parents raised you well and they did a great job, and they are emotionally and financially and spiritually and physically healthy.

So it's really easy to honor them because they're just doing it all right and perfect and good, and you're just like they're the best example I've ever had, and I've never seen them make a mistake, do anything wrong, and the facade has not yet broken.

You know, they're just great people.

So it's easy, it's like automatic, it's just what I do.

I honor them, but the reality is very few of us have parents who are financially, emotionally, spiritually, physically healthy.

Because I don't know many people who are all four of those things.

That's why our faith is about grace, that God gives us grace and forgiveness for our shortcomings, because they are many.

So, what I want to do for just a few minutes is walk us through some simple principles on how to honor your father and your mother, even when you're independent, and even when there's disagreement, maybe even unhealthiness.

Because that's a very common story.

Three words I want to look at really quickly.

Number one is respect.

Respect.

This gets a little bit difficult because here's the reality.

All of us who have grown up and left our homes and and been adults and seen our parents from an adult's perspective, we know their stuff.

We know their issues.

My youngest turned one on Friday, and he's still young enough that if I throw him into the air, he is fully expecting me to catch him.

There's no fear.

He's like, yay, woo! You know, there's total trust.

My nine-year-old would not be as excited because he's seen me drop things.

The trust is it's not as perfect.

And all of us who have have reached a certain age, we've seen our parents fail, we've seen our parents make mistakes.

And the temptation, the temptation is to take that because we have dirt and to use that as an excuse not to respect them, or at the very least, respect the position that they have as our parents.

How do you respect your parents when you're not underneath their authority?

Well, number one, you don't parent your parents.

You may not be under your parents, but you are not over your parents either.

And maybe there's seasons, there's there's situations, look, the number of unique situations in the room with parents, I couldn't even possibly begin to categorize all of them because it depends on your family and what you're going through.

Maybe there are situations where your parents are incapacitated and and need your help.

They may need you to make decisions for them because of things like that.

But what I'm talking about is generally speaking, when you disagree with your parents as an adult, you disagree with the way they do things, fine.

That is your prerogative.

And you might be right.

But it is not for you to parent them, to take a position over them.

It's not appropriate, it's not, it's not respectful.

If you want to respect your parents, it means that you do not highlight their their mistakes and their issues.

There's a great story in the Bible.

I encourage you to read it, the story of Noah and his son Ham.

Um, yes, his son was named Ham.

Kids in the room, be happy that your children, or your parents rather, did not name you Ham or another lunch meet of any kind.

Like be pleased that you're not going to school and your name's Turkey.

Uh, that's a good thing.

Your parents love you.

Be grateful for that, right?

Now I'm not going to take time to read the story.

It's not my job to read the Bible for you, so I encourage you to read the story of Noah and Ham if you don't know it.

But the simple truth is, Noah makes a mistake and his two, he has three sons.

Two of the sons kind of cover for their dad out of respect.

But Ham highlights his father's failure.

If you're going to honor and respect your parents, you don't highlight their mistakes.

And to do that, you have to have this one amazing ability that very few people have, myself included, most days, is it's the ability to keep your mouth shut.

You know, one of my favorite stories in scripture is the story of King David.

When he's young, he gets anointed to be the king of Israel.

But there's a problem.

There's already a king of Israel.

He's a very jealous man, he's kind of crazy, and if he finds out that David has been anointed king, he'll kill David.

And so David's anointed king in secret.

Can you imagine being this young man and knowing that God has chosen you to be king?

That you've been anointed to be the next king?

It's just a matter of time.

How hard would it be to keep that secret?

To not in one moment of weakness just say, hey, by the way, I got a I got anointed king.

I'm the next king, guys.

Twenty plus years later, he he gets to be king, but he kept that to himself.

And Saul, the king at the time, suspected that David might be next in line.

He suspected that God was with David, but he never knew for sure because David kept that to himself.

He kept his mouth shut.

You're gonna know things about your parents, you're gonna know their mistakes, and you're gonna be tempted to vent.

And I've had to repent of that.

I had to text my little brother this week and say, hey man, I am sorry for all the times I have vented to you about mom and dad.

It's something that's really easy to do as a sibling or with your spouse to be like, oh my gosh, they did this and it drives me crazy.

But that's not honoring.

You will see things, you will know things.

Keep it to yourself and pray.

Don't parent, don't highlight their failures.

Respect.

Number two is peace.

Peace.

Paul wrote this in Romans chapter 12, verses 17 and 18.

Romans 12:17

Never pay back evil with more evil.

Do things in such a way that everyone sees you are honorable.

Do all that you can to live at peace with everyone.

To live at peace with everyone.

Your parents are included, by the way, in that.

Live at peace with your parents.

What that means is that at all costs, avoid arguments.

At all costs, avoid there to be disruptions in your home.

Live at peace with your parents.

That's going to require forgiveness, an immense amount of forgiveness.

Because, like we said, the older you get, the more you realize how in your mind, and again, maybe you're not 100% accurate, but in your mind, they should have done it this way, they should have done it that way.

They made a mistake here.

Yeah, that's fine.

We're all people, and one day our children will have the same list.

It may not be the same list, actually, but they'll have a list.

Like it hopefully it's a different list than our list.

But make no mistake, there will be a list.

The prayer is that it's a small list.

But we're not perfect either.

And if you're gonna live at peace with your parents, you have to you have to forgive.

You have to pray.

When you're reminded of something that frustrates you, when you're reminded of something that gets under your skin, you have to stop and give that to the Lord and say, Lord, help me forgive my parents for this.

Big or small.

Look, if you're a Jesus follower, you've been forgiven of everything.

The blood of Jesus covers your sin and it covers your parents' sin as well, completely and totally.

So forgive.

Now I will say this.

Sometimes the only way to live at peace with your parents in some situations where maybe there's a there's a lot of unhealth is you have to have some distance.

There are there are times where distance is required for peace.

But here's the thing it can never be distance that is out of spite.

So if you set a boundary and you create distance to create peace, it can never be out of spite, it can never be to get back at them, to make them feel a certain way.

It can never be manipulative.

It can't be that you're gonna create distance so that they respond a certain way so that you get get your way.

That's manipulation.

That is not from God.

And if you do need distance for there to be peace, okay, this isn't out of anger, this isn't out of spite, this isn't manipulation, it's because you recognize that there is something unhealthy and you need safe distance from it.

If that's the case, it can never be a situation where you make a vow in your heart that it's always going to be that way because God wants to reconcile things.

He is a God of reconciliation.

2 Corinthians chapter 5, verse 19.

2 Corinthians 5:19

For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people's sins against them, and he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation.

God has a heart and a desire to reconcile people together, just like he reconciles us to him.

So if you have to create distance and set a boundary, do not make a vow in your heart that this is how it will always be.

Be open to God, mending things.

Be open to God reconciling.

And believe that peace is possible.

Sometimes it seems like it can't be.

There's no way.

There's no way there's going to be peace.

Jesus says it so well in Matthew chapter 19.

Matthew 19 · chapter mention

He says, look, from a human perspective, it's impossible, but with God all things are possible.

And when he says all things are possible, he means all things.

Point in case a dead man raises from the grave three days later.

All things are possible with God.

So peace is possible.

Number three, really quickly, it's it's thank.

Thank God for your parents.

Thank God for your parents.

We are challenged in Colossians chapter 4, verse 2, to devote ourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart.

Colossians 4:2

Thank God for your parents.

Now, for some of us, this is really simple and really easy because we look at our parents and we might say, They did well.

They raised me well.

They did a great job.

And so it's easy to have a thankful heart.

For some of us, we look at our parents and we're like, you know what?

To be honest, I don't think they did things the way they should have done things.

But maybe you can believe and understand that they did their best.

That they did the best with what they were given, with what they experienced, and maybe their best still had opportunities.

All of our best does.

And for some of us, we grew up in situations that were so unhealthy that the only thing we can think to thank our parents for is the fact that we're alive.

But the reality is, and we're seeing this happen in our world in great numbers, a lot of kids don't make it out of the womb.

And so you can be thankful at the very least for that.

So here's the deal.

If you want to honor your parents, respect them, live at peace with them, and thank God for them.

On that thankfulness thing, by the way, I promise you that if you do something, or I I think, I can't promise necessarily, because I'm not God, but but I highly suspect that if you were to spend some time today or this week in prayer and say, Holy Spirit, draw to my attention all the things I should be thankful to my parents for.

I highly suspect that list would be much longer than you might initially think.

Especially if you get specific and you allow God to bring to your attention moments and memories and specific situations where your parents sacrificed and gave something up.

You know, kids, understand this.

Those of you who are young, your parents submit themselves to you so often.

It may not seem like that to you, but trust me, your parents have submitted their bank accounts to you.

Your parents have submitted their sleeping schedules to you.

Your parents have submitted their their daily routines to you and to your needs to get you where you need to be so you enjoy the things you need to enjoy.

Be thankful for that.

And for all of us who are older, sometimes the more distance we get from our parents, the easier it is to forget all the things we should be thankful for.

So spend time this week thanking God for your parents and asking God to bring to your attention all the things you have to be thankful for.

The list might be longer than you think.

We're gonna wrap up and worship team, you guys can make your way out.

We have one person that's about to give their whole heart to Jesus, about to get baptized right now, so we're gonna celebrate that.

But I do want to say this as we transition.

Um, there is no way for me to imagine all of the different specific scenarios in the room when it comes to your relationship with your parents.

I know people whose parents got divorced after 40 years of marriage.

I know people who have had parents who have been married and remarried and remarried again, and so they have like a long line of stepmoms and stepdads.

I know people whose parents are sick in mental health ways, I know parents who people whose parents are sick physically, and all kinds of there's so many scenarios, there's no way for us to imagine them all and speak to all of them.

That's why these three principles are just apply it to your life and ask the Lord to help you do that.

But I will say this there is one person who has the capacity to handle every single specific scenario thrown your way.

It's the Holy Spirit.

And what we have to realize as followers of Jesus is that we have the Holy Spirit.

So I'm sitting here, maybe I'm talking about these things, and you're sitting there like, yeah, you don't know my situation, you don't know what I'm in, you don't know how my mom is, my dad is, you don't, you don't, you don't understand.

Well, yeah, you're right.

I don't, because I'm not God, but the Holy Spirit is.

And Jesus specifically said when he promised us the Holy Spirit in John chapter 14, he said, when the Father sends the advocate as my representative, that is the Holy Spirit, he's gonna teach you everything and will remind you of everything I've told you.

John 14 · chapter mention

In John 16, he says, When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth.

He will not speak on his own, but will tell you what he's heard.

He will tell you about the future, he will bring me glory by telling you whatever he receives from me, and all that belongs to the Father is mine.

That is why I said the Spirit will tell you whatever he receives from me.

Jesus promises us that the Spirit will teach us, will guide us, will give us the words that we need.

And so, yes, your specific situation with your parents might be, in your words, complicated.

Understand that it is complicated to you, it is simple to God.

There has never been a situation that God has looked at and said, Ooh, that is a tricky one.

I don't know.

You're on your own there.

That's that's messed up.

You know?

There's never been a situation.

In fact, I bet you can't find a situation in a family in this room that isn't more messed up than half the stuff that's recorded in scripture in those families.

Like God knows how to deal with messy family dynamics.

And if you are a follower of Jesus, you have the Holy Spirit, trust the Holy Spirit will guide you, rely on the Holy Spirit to give you what you need for every situation.

And if you have a broken relationship with your parents, or you see opportunities in your relationship with your parents, but you can't figure it out because it feels like you're walking through a minefield half the time.

Just know that the Holy Spirit can make his way through minefields.

The Holy Spirit can do anything and rely on that and pray and ask God to guide you.

And I'll say this, and I'm just saying this because it's true.

There's only one way to have the Holy Spirit, and that is by placing your faith in Jesus Christ.

You do not get the Holy Spirit active in power in your life without confessing a faith in Jesus Christ.

And if you're here today and you're like, look, I you're talking about parenting, I don't know what to do.

You're talking about having kids and all this kind of stuff, I don't know what to do, I don't know how to make sense of these relationships in my life.

I just don't know how to progress.

The Holy Spirit does.

You need the Holy Spirit, you need Jesus.

And he loves you, he loves you.

You give your life to him, he says yes to you.

He says yes to you, and he will gift you and give you everything you need.

The Bible says, for life and godliness, he will give you his spirit, his presence in your life, and you will have a guide that will help you sort out any situation you're in.

So give your life to him.

All that looks like simply is saying, in your heart, I believe in you, Jesus.

I put my faith in you.

Help me.

And the very first step of obedience you take as a follower of Jesus is to get baptized.

You can sign up today in the lobby to get baptized if you like, but we have a person that's about to do that right now.

And so let's pray together and let's celebrate this moment.

Father God, thank you so much for this person, this child of yours.

Just like we've been talking about this morning, just like Madison talked about, this person is obeying you right now.

They are taking a step of obedience and they are living out that that command.

They're honoring you as their father by walking in obedience to you to be baptized.

So, Lord, we're saying as a church, we want to come around them, we want to celebrate with them, we're gonna cheer them on in this moment, but we're gonna commit to being beside them in the moments to come.

And we ask, Lord, that you would speak to every person in this room, that you would draw our hearts to you, that you would bless our relationships with our parents.

Whether we're dependent or independent, that we would we would understand, Lord, that these relationships affect our relationship with you.

We want to have an amazing relationship with you, Jesus.

It's in your name we pray.

Amen.