Who Will I Walk With?

But this week and next, we're wrapping up this conversation that we started at the beginning of the year.

And it's just us trying to answer a really simple but also incredibly important question.

And it's the question of who.

Who.

Who you go through life with, who you have around you, who leads you, will affect you as much as anything.

In fact, who you're with often matters more than what you're going through.

Because you can go through really amazing things, and if you have the wrong who along, it can ruin it.

But on the flip side, you can go through something really difficult.

You can have a really bad what happen in your life, but if you have the right people around you, you can make it through it.

So who is a really important question to ask, especially at the outset of a year when we have this whole world of possibilities ahead of us.

What will this year bring?

What can we bring into this year?

If we want to have a year that's the best it could possibly be, we need to answer that question, who?

And so we started by looking at who will we worship?

We've got four real who's that we're trying to identify.

Number one, who will I worship?

Number two, who will I walk behind?

That's what we talked about last week.

Who am I going to follow?

And then this week is who will I walk with?

Next week will be who will I work against.

So who will I worship?

Who will I walk behind?

Who will I walk with, and who will I work against?

If we can answer those four questions, those four whos, and get that figured out, we are going to be set up for about as good of a year as we could possibly hope to have.

Now, I'm going to go ahead and just say that for the first time in this series, the answer today isn't just Jesus, because the first week, you know, who will we worship?

It's like, you may have seen where we were going with that.

It was Jesus.

And last week, who will we walk behind?

We have this phrase that we talked about, this Jewish phrase, may you be covered in the dust of your rabbi in Jesus' culture.

When he would call someone to follow him, that was like, hey, no, literally, walk behind me, follow me, learn from me, and we want to treat Jesus like that.

So, you know, it's kind of like cliche church thing that the answer to the first two questions is Jesus.

And the truth is, yes, we we walk with Jesus, for sure.

He's with us, absolutely, but today we're expanding beyond Jesus.

So that's just, I mean, keep you on the edge of your seat there.

That's exciting.

But you know, it's so funny how hard it can be to find the right who in life.

Especially when it comes to those people that you have around you, that you're with.

Like, I don't know if you've ever had the experience where you've searched for the right person and you can't find them.

Maybe you're hiring for a job, maybe you run a company and you're trying to find the right person, and it's like everywhere you turn, it's just it's not it.

It's not the right who.

Or maybe you're like me when I was in college.

I had a really hard time when I was in college finding the right roommate.

And now looking back, going, oh, maybe I was the problem.

Maybe the common link in this long list of failed roommate attempts was me, and I'm willing to go there.

I'm willing to admit that that's a possibility.

I don't think the first few, though, were me as much.

Um, so I'll explain.

So when I started college, I went to a school that I didn't know anyone at.

I was a thousand miles away from where I went to high school, and I knew no one, and I liked that idea.

I wanted an adventure.

And so the school just randomly assigned me a roommate, and it was a disaster.

Uh, if you know me, you know that I'm a fairly spontaneous person.

I have never in my life kept a schedule for more than maybe like a week.

You know, I'm one of those people that got a few, I got a plan.

Some of you were like, how can this person be in charge?

I have a lot of help.

Um, and I'm not as in charge as you might think.

But either way, I've just never been, I've never been that type of person.

In fact, when when my wife came to college with me, we were dating at the time and she started school, she's super organized, and she was just blown away that I didn't have like a printout of my class schedule.

She's like, What do you I just remember it, you know?

And she's like, Well, how do you know when things are are like due?

And I said, Often I don't.

It makes life very exciting, you know?

And I had this really simple system for knowing like the stuff at the back of my backpack was older, so it's probably due first, and the stuff toward the front, newer.

So I'm just I'm that kind of person.

And somehow I got paired my very first semester with the most like OCD, just extremely high, like high strung person you can imagine.

And it was a disaster like right away.

And I knew it was gonna be bad because early on, um, I walked back into my room after being out in class somewhere, and my roommate just said, Hey, did you put trash in my trash can?

And I was like, Is this a trick question?

I don't know.

I mean, yeah, like I threw some paper away in his in his wastebasket, and he said, I really would like you not to do that.

And so, like, no joke, it was like he was that guy where I wasn't supposed to put trash in his trash can, I had to put it in my trash can.

And just suffice it to say, we did not get along.

So it's semester, you had the opportunity to switch roommates, and it wasn't even an awkward conversation.

We weren't like, hey man, I don't want to offend you.

It was like, we're clearly not gonna do this again.

Like, so let's just get that out of the way.

And we we we separated, okay?

And I chose for roommate number two this guy that I thought was was great, and he really was, but I, you know, it's kind of like if you're ever in a relationship and you break up with a person and then you go for the opposite of them and and realize that that's you just overcorrected, right?

That's what I did.

And so I went with this dude that was chill, like, extremely chill, like probably some substances helping him be that chill.

Okay?

I'm just being honest.

And he was really nice, but whatever the opposite of high strung is, he was that, and it was it was maddening.

Because, like, for example, he would he would set his alarm a couple hours before his first class, and he would hit the snooze button 11 times at least.

And I'm one of those people where once I'm up, I'm I'm like up.

And so I might have a class later than him, and he'd hit snooze and again and again, and I'd talk to him, I was like, man, you've got to like either wake up or set your alarm.

You don't ever get up, and he's like, Yeah, man, I just need a long time to wake up.

And so, six months of that, I was done.

Roommate number three, great dude.

Honestly, like I look back and go, I should have stuck with him because we didn't have anything in common at all, but we just were really like peaceful.

It was it was sort of like you're over there, I'm over here, we didn't talk that much.

There was no animosity, there wasn't like a lot of connection, but we were not in each other's way.

And I should have valued that, but I ruined it because I decided the next opportunity, roommate number four, this is in a very small period of uh amount of time, I wanted to go with one of my friends.

Have you ever had a really close friend that you you maybe didn't know as much about as you thought?

And then you you, I don't know if you've had this specific example, you're like, hey, let's live together.

Because, you know, we have fun when we're in the same room, and that'll be a good time, and it is for a week.

So the problem with roommate number four was he was just, and I'm not saying this in John, if you're watching, I love you, man.

You were a groomsman at my wedding, and I'm there for you anytime.

But John in college was just a gross human being from a hygiene perspective.

I will tell you this story, okay, and this this will help you out.

Um, one day we're walking through the hall, and there was a guy who had his door open, and he was cooking rice in a rice cooker, which is a weird thing, but college is weird.

And John just goes, Oh, are you cooking rice?

And this guy goes, Yeah, but I only have this one bowl, because that is also a very college thing.

Like I have a bowl.

And John just went, hmm.

No big deal.

And he takes his hat off.

And this is, by the way, it was an Alabama hat.

He's an Alabama fan, so make your judgments about Alabama fans if you want to.

I'm just saying, those of you who are Alabama fans say he does not speak for all of us, that's fine, but in this particular case, this Alabama fan took a hat off, and is the hat he wore every day, and it had a big sweat ring around it and all that.

And the guy puts rice in it, and I just sit there and I watch my roommate eat rice out of his hat.

And that would probably rank as like the 13th grossest thing that he ever did.

And I lived with him.

And look, if you if you are messy enough to make me uncomfortable as a human being, you have serious problems.

And that's what it was like.

And so, again, just roommate, roommate, roommate, I could not find the right who until I got married.

I went from him to being married, and Megan and I decided when we got married, let's let's live together.

And so we did that, and then I instantly became the bad roommate.

Because it turns out, and if young guys, this is just advice, it turns out living uh in a dorm for three years with a bunch of different guys is not proper training for cohabitating with an elegant lady.

It just does not translate.

So it was a I I was the bad roommate now, so I got the tables turned on me.

But it was hard, it was hard to find the right who.

It can be very difficult in life to find the right people to have around you, and that's what we're gonna focus on today.

Who do you walk with?

Who do you surround yourself with?

Who are you going to choose to be arm in arm with?

See, sometimes we allow life to do all the choosing for us.

We don't so much choose our friends as we let life choose them for us.

And that that's okay, that happens, of course.

There's gonna be people that you just grew up with, or people that you kind of bump into, you work with them, you sit near them, whatever it is, and and you become friends through proximity, that's fine.

But there is a different level of friendship available.

And it's one that we can be selective about.

Or we can look and say, hey, what do I need in my life?

Who can I surround myself with that will add something to my life that I would not have without them in it?

We need friends.

We really do.

I mean, Ecclesiastes, this is for all the loners.

Those are the lone wolves in the room, like, I don't need anybody.

There's a few of us in here.

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.

If one person fails, or falls rather, the other can reach out and help.

But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.

Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm, but how can one be warm alone?

A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back to back and conquer.

Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.

We need friends, we need people around us, and we need to value that so much that we're we're willing to be intentional about the people that we choose to surround ourselves with.

And so I'm gonna base pretty much all that we're gonna talk about today off this one specific verse that tells us something we ought to value in the friends that we choose as much as we value anything.

And it's Proverbs chapter 13, verse 20.

Proverbs 13:20

One who walks with wise people will be wise, but a companion of fools will suffer harm.

One who walks with wise people will become wise, but a companion of fools will suffer harm.

I did a little bit of research this uh this week and looked up what are some of the qualities that people often look for in a friend.

And there's a lot of lists you can find online.

What was amazing is even though there's some amazing qualities that people value, wisdom was not on any of the lists that I could find.

Loyalty was the number one quality that people look for in a friend, and that's a great quality.

You absolutely want to have loyal friends.

Some of the others that were at the top were someone who's non-judgmental.

People want friends who aren't going to judge them, and that makes a lot of sense.

One of the things that was really high up there was shared interests.

And I get that.

In fact, there was a huge period of my life where if you were a Duke basketball fan, you instantly ranked up in terms of your potential friendship level with me.

And if you were a North Carolina basketball fan, then you were just instantly ranked down.

And I want you to know that I got over that, and so Jamie, I know you're a Duke fan, I love you, and Scott, I know you're a North Carolina fan, and I forgive you.

And so it's fine.

Okay?

We're we're we're friends, I'm friends with Scott, I'm friends with Jamie, and honestly, guys, who you like has nothing to do with it.

It has nothing to do.

We're good.

We've moved beyond that.

But we all know what that's like, right?

You have a shared interest with someone, and just because they like the thing you like, you're you're friends, because you can click, you can talk about it.

That's high on a lot of lists.

Humor and fun is way up there on most lists, and I enjoy that.

Like, it's good to have a friend who's fun.

It's good to have people in your life that when they walk in the room, they kind of light it up.

And all of those qualities, while they're all admirable and good, the reality is you could actually be friends with someone who can check those boxes but not be wise.

Like you can have a friend who's a lot of fun.

But do they add wisdom to your life?

Would you ever go to them for advice?

And the answer is, oh no.

You could have a friend who's who's loyal, like they're they're not gonna stab you in the back, but they may not add, they may not add that sort of wisdom and peace to your life that you might need in times of trouble.

Just because someone likes the same things you like doesn't mean they have wisdom.

There's all kinds of qualities that are really good qualities in a friend, and they ought to be high up on the list.

But what Proverbs tells us is that it look, if you're gonna make that list, what am I looking for in the friends that I choose?

Wisdom ought to be up there.

It's a top-tier quality to look for in a friend.

But the challenge is that it can be really hard to find.

If you read the book of Proverbs, it talks a lot about wisdom and it talks a lot about foolishness.

Those are sort of the key themes in Proverbs.

There's wisdom and folly, there's the wise and fools.

And we all know what it's like to be foolish, we've all been there, we've all done foolish things, and we've probably all experienced to some degree how being surrounded with foolishness gets you in a lot of trouble.

Now, in the Hebrew language, a little bit different than ours, they they actually had five specific words that could be translated fool.

Most often, when you read the word fool in Proverbs, you're reading one of those five words, but not always the same one.

Sometimes it'll translate simpleton, sometimes it might translate mocker.

And so if we're gonna proceed with saying, okay, what if this year, and this is a question, like what if I surrounded myself with some wise people?

What if I valued wisdom in my friendships as much as I value anything, what would that add to my life?

And maybe you have some wise friends, okay, well, what if you had a few more?

Because I have friends that are very wise in certain areas.

I know friends that are so wise when it comes to how they parent their children, and I would go to them in a heartbeat and say, hey, this is what's going on with my kids.

What do you suggest?

I have other friends who are very wise financially.

I have many friends who are wise in all different kinds of aspects of life, and the more I have in my life, the better.

And so, even if you have wise friends, you could probably use a few more.

And if you don't have any wise friends, all right, we're gonna get you one.

That's the goal today.

Okay?

We're gonna get you moving in that direction.

So, how do we even start to find wise friends?

Well, the first piece of advice is really simple.

Um, you should avoid foolish friends.

You should avoid foolish friends, like avoid foolishness.

That's a good start.

And there's five different types of fools that scripture talks about.

The first is called the simple fool, and this is actually pronounced in Hebrew, pithy.

And one of the great ways to remember that is um you can say, I pithy the fool.

And, you know, a Mr.

T reference is always appropriate on a Sunday morning.

Those of you who are too young to know Mr.

T, make me that's fine.

I'm okay.

So a pithy is a simple fool.

It's often translated simpleton in the Bible.

For example, Proverbs 22, 3 says, a prudent person or a wise person foresees danger and takes precautions.

The simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences.

This is someone who just sort of goes through life and they just do whatever they feel like doing in that moment.

They don't think ahead, they don't plan.

It's just sort of, I'm I'm just flying by the seat of my pants.

And typically, when this person's described in scripture, it's talking about someone who just doesn't value wisdom in the sense that you might give them really good advice, but they just can't even recognize it.

It's like good advice and bad advice to them are one and the same.

And so, really hard to be close, personal friends, like arm in arm, trust this person, open up your life to them.

They're in your inner circle with someone like that because, man, they just they're not gonna recognize or value wisdom.

So they're not gonna be able to have much to pour into you.

And if you have something to pour into them, it just goes in one ear, out the other.

That's that's the simple fool, okay?

Fool number two is the silly fool, and this is actually pronounced evil.

I don't know if this is where the word evil comes from or not, but interesting.

Proverbs 10, 14 says, wise people treasure knowledge, but the babbling of a fool invites disaster.

Proverbs 12, 15 says, fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others.

Proverbs 27, 3 says, a stone is heavy and sand is weighty, but the resentment caused by a fool is even heavier.

In each of these verses, it's using that word a silly fool.

And the idea here is just someone who does foolish things and they just plain enjoy it.

They just think it's fun, and their primary filter in life is what is fun?

What's gonna make me feel good right now?

And if you're along for the party, awesome.

But if you were ever to advise caution, it's not just that they won't listen to you, they might even resent you for suggesting it because you just ruined the party.

They were having a really good time until you had to come along and ruin it by suggesting that maybe this isn't the right thing to do.

And and that type of person, honestly, it's very easy for that type of person to be the life of the party.

It's just that sometimes the party goes horribly wrong.

And so, when it comes to those close personal relationships that you have, you don't want, you don't want a silly fool in your inner circle.

The third type.

This is uh actually, there's more warnings about this type of foolishness in scripture than any other.

It's the sensual fool.

This is in Hebrew Kassil.

Proverbs 10 23 says, Doing wrong is fun for a fool, but living wisely brings pleasure to the sensible.

Proverbs 18.2 says, fools have no interest in understanding, they only want to air their own opinions.

These sort of level up as they go.

So this is someone that not only do they enjoy foolishness, not only do they think it's fun, they may even take pride in it.

They may do something that they know is immoral or wrong and then laugh at it the next day.

Like, oh my gosh, that was hilarious.

Did you see that person's face?

That was awesome.

They they they don't just enjoy it in the moment, they savor it afterwards.

And this is typically someone who's very manipulative, someone who really likes to bring other people into their foolishness.

The one before, it's just someone doing their thing and they want as many people along for the ride as possible, but this is someone who will actually pressure you and try to pull you into their foolish behavior.

And if you were ever to correct that person, they don't just resent you, you become an enemy, and they will go after you.

Some of you are like nodding your heads as if I've known this person.

Okay, this person cannot be a part of your your inner circle.

It just will not, it will not work.

The next type of fool.

In Hebrew, it's lutz, it's the scorning fool.

Proverbs 9 8 says, Don't bother correcting mockers.

They will only hate you.

But correct the wise and they will love you.

Proverbs 13:1.

Proverbs 13:1

A wise child accepts a parent's discipline.

A mocker refuses to listen to correction.

This is often translated mockers.

This is someone who just hates wisdom.

Okay, it's not that they just don't recognize it or they ignore it, they actually despise wisdom.

And anyone who's in a position of authority, any person who would like dare to challenge them, they give them so much attitude, and they create a tremendous amount of damage in doing so.

And so maybe maybe I shouldn't tell this story, but I'm going to, so forgive me if I shouldn't.

Um I try to practice discretion, but I think I'll be okay because I don't know this person's name.

So I turned 40 this year, and it's it's a bit of a problem.

And I'm not talking about from like the physical standpoint and all that kind of stuff.

You know, there's all that that goes along.

Like, how many of us have felt what it feels like to get older, and you're like, this is different?

You know what I mean?

I'm I'm I'm turning 40 this year, so I know a lot of you are like, stop complaining, you have no idea what you're in store for.

I I understand, I get it, okay?

But there's certain things about getting to this age that bother me that didn't used to bother me.

So like if a younger person is disrespectful, that didn't used to bother me.

But there's something inside of me now that I'm about to be 40 where I'm like, hey, hey.

Like, respect your elders.

You know, it's like the first time I've ever had that thought in my mind.

And so, okay, a few days ago, I'm at the gym and I'm playing basketball, and sometimes bad things happen when a ball's in your hands.

And I'm playing with some some guys, and we're all older.

There's like, we're all in our late 30s, early 40s, we're having a good time, you know?

And these these three teenage kids walk in, and and they they've got like an air.

You know what I'm talking about?

And by the way, if you're teenagers, I was a teenager once too.

I have a teenager at home, I love teenagers, teenagers are great.

But these three were not.

And so I'm being Playful.

I really am being playful.

So anyway, this the they ask if they can play us.

They're like, hey, you guys want to play?

And here's exactly how what I said and how I said it.

I said, Oh, absolutely.

And it was like dad joke.

I went, but it's 10 bucks.

Like the most innocuous dad joke.

And this kid looks at me like I've just insulted his family line or something like that.

And I said, Oh man, I'm just joking.

And he goes, he's like 16.

He goes, Yeah, well, it wasn't funny.

And so you gotta understand, too, and by the way, I'm revealing things.

You may think less of me, like I shouldn't have taken the bait, but I'm a man and I'm playing sports, and testosterone is high, and you know, it's just so I go, oh man, well, and this was my response.

I said, Man, I'm at my age, you actually I'm just goofing them off.

I'm like, you actually get this thing in the mail that says you're allowed to make dumb jokes.

You know, that was my I was trying to like diffuse, ha ha ha.

I'm old, laughable, blah, blah, blah.

And he goes, Yeah, but why are you still talking?

And then I said, Well, when you get to be my age, I said, your level of care for what a 16-year-old thinks about you drops to whatever way below zero is.

And it was amazing.

And there was a lot of attitude, and there was a lot of complaining, like he said he said I fouled him a lot, and I did.

And I was fine with it.

And I'm like, yeah, there's no referees.

Why wouldn't I foul you?

You know, like just toughen up.

And I'm just saying we we we won, and I said at the end, I said, look, this is why boys should not trash talk men.

And so next time.

And then his friend tried to fight me, and I left.

That's not what I meant.

That's what happened.

I left.

Oh man, maybe I'm not as old as I thought I was.

I'm still growing up, but I'm either way.

See, here's what happened.

There was this like this scorning fool idea, this person that just has a disdain for authority.

There's something, I don't know, there's something about the age that I'm at now where I'm just like, this is you, you stop.

Like I have this, and I experience it with my children, right?

There's like a roll of the eyes, even if I know I'm wrong.

It's like, stop, don't do that.

I if I would have done that to my father, like I say that a lot at home, if I would have done that to my father, as if I never did, right?

I'm sure I did.

Dad, I'm sorry.

But that's a scorning fool.

And this person, they they hate authority, they hate correction.

You could never correct this person, and that's the mistake that I made.

Like, honestly, looking back, I should have just been like, yeah, I don't want to play these, it's not worth it.

But in reality, I engaged, and and it only got worse.

Because that's all that's gonna happen when you're dealing with someone like this.

And you cannot have that type of person in your inner circle.

It will benefit you zero.

The last type of fool listed.

And this one's actually the most serious.

In Hebrew, it's Nabal, and it's a steadfast fool.

Psalm 14.1 is a classic example of this.

This is the word in Hebrew.

Only fools, this type, say in their hearts, there is no God.

They are corrupt, their actions are evil, and not one of them does good.

Now, this is not trying to offend someone who is struggling with doubt and trying to figure out where they stand with God.

This is someone who has utterly rejected the idea of a higher power.

They care only about themselves.

When someone believes that there is nothing more important in life than them, they are capable of doing very terrible, very evil things.

And this is the type of person where, like, if you chose to have this person as your friend, you were in serious trouble.

Because they they would do away with you as quickly as they would do away with anything or anyone that stood in their way.

And the sad truth is that the world is full of foolishness.

It's full of it.

There's so many foolish people, and I don't mean that in a judgmental sense.

We have a world that encourages foolishness.

We have a world that celebrates foolishness.

I mean, even you know, me telling that story.

You know, it's funny, ha, and I said this to this kid and all that, but at the end of the day, it's a 39, almost 40-year-old man getting into it a little bit with a 16-year-old, which is, I believe, foolish.

Right?

Someone said ego, and I receive that.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I receive that.

I'm okay being humbled.

I really am.

It's just so easy to do foolish things.

And that's what we have to recognize, is even if we're someone walking in wisdom in life, it's so easy to get pulled into foolishness.

I do it all the time.

It's so easy when tempers flare, and when you're offended in hurt to get sucked into foolishness or get tempted into foolishness.

And if we choose to walk with foolish people, we will experience the consequences, and we will miss out on the joy and the benefit of surrounding ourselves with wise people.

Walk with the wise, and you will become wise.

That is a powerful promise.

Because wisdom is more valuable than anything.

It is.

Scripture actually says that wisdom is more profitable than gold.

It's more valuable than gold.

And we might say, you know, I'll take the gold, actually.

But what happens, what happens if you hand a large amount of money to a foolish person?

It's gone.

What happens if you hand a smaller amount of money to a really wise person?

It will grow.

Or it will at the very least be put to good use.

Because wisdom is actually more valuable than money or really anything.

And what if we valued wisdom, not just in ourselves, but in the people we choose to surround ourselves with?

What would that truly be like?

My life has been unbelievably benefited by just having wise people around me.

You know, Proverbs 9.10 says, fear of the Lord is the foundation of wisdom.

Knowledge of the Holy One results in good judgment.

I'm blessed, more so than most of us, and I recognize this that it's not the same situation to be surrounded day in and day out with people who know, love, and in the appropriate way fear the Lord, meaning they recognize that God is God and we're accountable to Him, and we should live our lives with that in mind.

Not this sort of shaking in our boots fear that he's about to hurt us, but this like he's God.

I work here at a church, and everyone who works here is like awesome.

I'm being honest about that.

Like they're all they're just awesome.

So like the biggest conflicts that we have as a staff wouldn't even register at most places.

Like I'll have people on the team come to me and they'll say, Hey, can I can I talk to you?

Because we have a rule that you always complain up, never complain sideways.

If you're frustrated, don't ever like go to someone else.

Like if you have something you're really frustrated with, either deal with the person directly or come to me or whoever else is above you.

And we're really small staff, so it's not a lot of it's not a lot of hierarchy.

And so sometimes people will come to me and say, I'm frustrated.

And the thing that they will say they're frustrated about is like it is so small.

And they're not making a mountain out of it, they're not complaining in an unhealthy way, it's just that we have a really healthy environment here, and so it's like the most small things, which means it's the tiniest adjustments to fix it.

It's like, oh yeah, that's a good point.

Yeah, we should totally talk about that at our next team meeting.

And they're like, great.

And I know that for those of you that work in different environments, that is not what Monday feels like a lot of the times.

Right?

Like, we're we're not in that bubble.

I recognize that.

And so when you're in a more difficult environment, how much more do you need some wise people around you?

Scripture says that the foundation of wisdom is believing in, knowing God.

And so, first and foremost, value a deep faith in the people that you choose to be part of your inner circle.

Again, I'm not saying that you can't be friendly or have acquaintances.

Look, there's certain types of relationships that are somewhat personal, but what I'm talking about here is like partnership.

The people you've decided I will partner in my life with these people.

I'm going with them, they're going with me.

We're walking together, we are arm in arm.

If stuff gets real in life, they're the ones that are there.

These have to be people that know the Lord.

You know why?

Because you might need them to pray for you.

Like when your faith is weak, that's one of the reasons when it talks about romantic relationships in the Bible, it says that we should not be, the phrase is unequally yoked.

What that means is, hey, if you're a believer and you're gonna choose to partner with someone in your life for marriage, choose another believer.

Because what happens when your faith is weak?

If their faith isn't a thing, how is that gonna carry you through?

I know when my oldest was born and he was in the NICU for 10, 11 days, Liam was in real, real trouble the first 10 days of his life.

I would love to look back at that and say to all of you, but my faith was strong, and I never for a moment doubted God.

And I knew that he would heal my son, and I knew my son would be okay.

That would be a lie.

I actually didn't handle that situation with as much faith as I thought I would have on the front end, but my wife did.

And there were a few days there where her faith was strong enough to carry both of us.

And I cannot say how grateful I am for that.

And so, if you're gonna partner with people in life, you want to surround yourself with people, man, surround yourself with people who know the Lord, who will take your cares and your struggles to the Lord when they pray, whose opinions and ideas and advice is shaped primarily by the wisdom that comes from the Lord, because Scripture says that all true wisdom comes from Him.

So first and foremost, avoid fools and value someone who has faith.

Scripture says in Proverbs 14, 9 that fools make fun of guilt, but the godly acknowledge it and seek reconciliation.

Wise people are humble, they are correctable, and they're people who value reconciliation above being right.

Have you ever had someone who you've talked to as a friend and you've expressed a frustration, something's going on at work, something maybe in your marriage, whatever it might be, a friendship, and you think you're right, you've been wronged, there's an injustice that's been done to you, and that very well may be the truth.

And they they say something to you like, oh my gosh, you know what you ought to do?

You ought to quit.

You ought to just go in there and quit tomorrow.

That'll show them.

Now, some of us are like, I've I've said that to someone before, okay?

And just forgive yourself if that's the case.

But see, that's that's an example of foolishness because that is taking a situation and instantly saying you ought to ratchet it up.

Right?

You ought to retaliate.

Retaliation is the opposite of reconciliation.

Or someone says, Oh, you you ought to you ought to say this to them.

And it's all about making a tough situation more volatile.

Wise people are humble, they're people who value peace and reconciliation.

And I'll share one more personal story as we move forward and get close to wrapping up.

Uh, several years ago, I got really, really close to ruining one of the best relationships in my life.

I'm not talking about my wife, so I just want to say that because you're like, who is it?

I'm not gonna say.

But it was a friend, one of my closest friends that I've ever had, someone who has invested in me and poured into me just a lot.

But at that time, there was a season where this person, at least where I was at, was just making life really hard.

And I was super stressed out.

And I was way in over my head and very overwhelmed.

And I was at a point with this person where I was about to go to them and have a conversation that would have forever changed the nature of our relationship.

It would have, it just would have been one of those, you all know what I'm talking about.

Like you have one of those conversations where there's no going back from it unless there's an incredible amounts maybe of forgiveness or healing.

Like it's a, I was I was that hot-blooded about what was going on.

And thankfully, like praise God, I have some people around me who are the kind of wise people that scripture is talking about.

People who are humble and value reconciliation above all.

And so I shared some things with them about what was going on, and every single one of them.

The first one made me mad because I wasn't really, I wanted justification for what I was gonna do.

Right?

I wanted someone to talk about like the advice I gave earlier.

You know what you ought to do?

You ought to say this.

Like, yeah.

That's what I wanted.

But this person said, I think you need to calm down.

I think you need to calm down.

I think you need to just let this go.

Because of all that's happened in the past and all the good that there is, yes, this is a hard season.

I think you need to let this go.

I didn't want to let it go.

So I went to another person.

And they said, you know, this person's in a season of life.

And this is a person who is older than me and had a lot of wisdom.

And they said, you know, Justin, you haven't lived through a lot of seasons in life yet.

You don't know what it's like to go through this specific season that this person is in.

And you might think that if you ever went through that situation, you would handle it much better, but you have no idea.

You might handle it worse.

So I think you need to just let this go.

And I talked about three or four people, and they all gave me the same advice.

And I said, forget that.

I'm doing what I want to do.

No, I'm just joking, I didn't do that.

No, I I paused and prayed and ended up never even bringing it up.

And fast forward today, this is gosh, this was seven, eight years ago.

That person and I are as close as we've ever been.

And I'm I'm as grateful for that friendship that I have with that person as I've ever been for any friend I've ever had, save for probably my wife.

That's it.

And I could have ruined it.

I could have ruined that if not for the wisdom of the people who were walking with me at the time.

Thank God.

Wisdom is more valuable than gold.

And we all need it.

And the Lord has it and he's given it to people.

And what if this year you decided I'm gonna walk with wise people?

I'm gonna put that so high on my priority list when it comes to what I look for in a friend that I just won't allow someone to partner with me, that inner circle.

Again, I'm not talking about people you're friendly with and love and care about and support.

I'm talking about people you are arm in arm with.

They it's just they've got to be people of wisdom.

They're not perfect, no one's is, but they have to value wisdom and have some.

Now, you might be thinking, why where do I find such people?

Because it's one thing to say, yeah, I value that.

Then where do you is there like a is there like an online dating service for wise friends?

Do you go like, someone's gonna create that?

Wisefriends.com, you know?

You have to take some type of test to prove that you're wise, and then you can match up with someone else.

Now, you know, I will say this, and I'm not this this could sound so self-serving, and I really just please hear my heart when I say this.

Um church is a really good place to start.

And and this is the truth.

In the last 15 years that I've been here, I really can't think of a situation that I've gone through, no matter how difficult, where I had to even go beyond the people that I know here to get the advice that I needed.

Because there are so many wise people sitting around you right now, and you're probably one of them.

And I have friends through this place that I've connected with that, man, if I had financial advice that I needed, they're the first person I would go to.

Not just because they're good with money, but because they love the Lord, they honor God, and their perspective on money is not the perspective of this world, but it's the perspective of heaven.

And so I can think of people even like Doug, I reached out to you a year ago.

I was needing some advice on that, and your perspective wasn't just, oh, you should invest in whatever.

It was like, you gave me spiritual advice, and it was great.

Thank you for that, by the way.

You know, there's so many people that if I had a marriage situation and I'm struggling in this way, well, who would I talk to?

Oh, I'll talk to this person who is wise and has a tremendous marriage and has been through it.

If I had a situation with one of my kids, which obviously is a perfect parent, I won't.

But like if I did, hypothetically, you know, no, I many.

Like when I have situations with my kids, you know, there are people here that I can go to because I see the way that they parent their children, and I see that their kids have gone through some tough situations but have come out in a really good place, and I recognize there's wisdom there that I don't have yet, and I need it.

And so being part of a church ought to be a massive help when it comes to being surrounded by wise people.

And I want to encourage you at the outset of this year to take advantage of that.

You're not gonna hear someone in church very often say, take advantage of the people around you.

Um, but in this context, take advantage of the people around you.

So we have so many different ways for that to happen.

You know, I, for example, um there's there's four Bible studies that come to my mind right now.

There's a men's Bible study every single Tuesday morning at seven o'clock.

There's a group of guys, I'm I'm there almost every single Tuesday and have been for the last couple of years, and that group, I'm looking at some guys right now that are part of that group.

I mean, I love you guys, and it's so fun to be around you and to go through life with you, and there's a lot of wisdom at those tables.

So every Tuesday at 7 o'clock, it's just a bunch of men that get together to grow spiritually, help each other out.

It's awesome.

There's also a Wednesday night men's Bible study, there's a Wednesday evening women's Bible study that's incredible right here in the coffee shop.

Both of those are at the same time.

You can get coffee.

There's an awesome Sunday morning Bible study for women at this church that I just saw a meeting this morning.

And so those are four that come to my mind that at any point in time, any of you could say, you know what, I want to go to that because I want to surround myself with some wise people who will help me grow.

We have groups for couples.

Tonight, for example, there is this young married couples group that's gonna meet uh right here in the coffee shop.

And it is something, by the way, if you want to come to that, you haven't registered yet, we do need you to register because we are doing food and some stuff like that, um, and some childcare.

And so there's still time to register for that.

You can do that on our website, on our mobile app right now, and there's gonna be a bunch of people here tonight meeting each other, like making friends, but also growing in their marriage.

And that's by the way, also for people who are either engaged or you're like, we're moving toward marriage, we know that.

That's for you as well.

It doesn't have to be if you're married.

Like, that's something that's happening.

We're gonna have groups like that, classes like that, all throughout the year for any stage of life that you're in.

We have this amazing group called the second half that is for anyone in the second half of life, which I recognize is like, how do you know that?

And it's sort of like retirement.

It felt weird to call it the fourth quarter group.

That just seemed a little bit not quite.

It was good.

So second half seemed better.

But that group's awesome because it's it's the same life stage.

You know, you have different challenges, different priorities when you're in that retirement phase of life.

I actually had someone come to me this morning and say, hey, I've I've recently retired, I don't know what to do with myself.

And that group is is a really great way to answer that.

Madison is actually about to start something brand new for 18 to 24 year olds at our church.

And so if you're in that stage of life, um, actually, he asked me to put this, you can text 1824 to that number, 94,000, text 1824 to that and get some information.

That's going to be starting soon.

But Madison just wants to get to know whoever's in that stage of life now so that as that gets going, he can keep you informed.

We have classes, groups, teams.

All of our teams have a huge social component where you meet other people, and again, I'm not saying this in some self-serving way.

But I'm saying is this church has been the primary source for the last 16 or so years of my life in having wise people around me, and it can be the same for you.

And maybe it already is, and great.

But if not, take advantage of that.

Like plug in, get connected.

But at the very least, in worship team, you guys can make your way out, at the very least, value wisdom.

Value wisdom above just about anything.

The friends that you choose, whether you're young, whether you're you're already at like an established place in life, no one has enough wisdom.

Like there's never gonna be a point where you're like, I'm full.

I have all the wisdom I need.

Thank you very much.

You can always use more.

And I promise you that there is more closer to you than you might realize.

And so value wisdom in the friends that you choose.

This year, let this be a motto for you.

We'll go back to it.

Proverbs chapter whatever it was.

Here we go.

Oh, I went way up here.

I had a lot of Proverbs verses today.

Proverbs 13, 20.

One who walks with wise people will be wise, but a companion of fools will suffer harm.

Walk with the wise, become wise.

That's a promise.

That's a powerful one.

Let's pray.

Father, thank you so much for this morning.

Thank you for every person who's here, God.

I'm just so excited about all the amazing people that you're bringing to this place and the opportunity to get to know one another, live life alongside each other.

God, we need each other.

We need friends.

You needed friends.

I mean, Jesus, if anyone could have lived through life and done it alone, surely it would have been you.

But you didn't do that.

Even you valued having people around you.

And there were even moments that you asked for their help.

So, Father God, I pray that we just follow in the example of your son.

Jesus, help us be like you.

Help us value friendship.

And give us the wisdom to choose wise friends, to be intentional about that.

Lord, we love you.

We're grateful for all that you've done for us.

We want to have a great year.

We just do.

And who we walk with, who we surround ourselves with will play a big role in that.

So please help us when it comes to that, Father.

And if anyone in this room is not knowing where to turn, if they're recognizing maybe they need some people around them, Lord, I pray that they'll just reach out, that they'll go to the connect desk, that they'll just ask, and we can easily connect them with some people that will get them going in the right direction.

And I pray this in your name, Jesus.

Amen.