Pursuing Relationally

What it looks like biblically to have a healthy church, um, to be a healthy church, and that core value number one uh is where we all begin.

The greatest command in the law to love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, and soul.

But he uh zeroed in on the importance of devoting ourselves to Jesus day by day in a daily basis, devoting daily to our Lord Jesus as we commit to, as he described it, um, abiding consistently in the one who is the true vine, the source of all of our help, life, strength, uh, and fruit bearing is dependent upon him.

Uh fact is, we know in this church it is not an organization so much as an organism, and our Jesus Christ, he is the head of the church, as he's described in the New Testament.

In his body, the church, those of us who uh commit to him fully and devote to him daily, uh, we are eternally connected to one another.

So say to your brother on the right or the left, good morning, brother, good morning, sister.

And guess what?

Get used to that because you are connected to that person and these people who have committed their lives to him forever.

It's a forever family.

You'll hear that word, that phrase coming out a lot today.

Yes, we're all children of God by birth, by the by our creation and by our creator, but that doesn't make you an eternal child of God until you accept his son, the sacrifice for your sin, which caused separation from you and God and his family.

So there are two families on the earth.

One is your um temporary family, and some of them may be Christians, but once they become a Christian, they become part of your eternal family.

So just wanted to bring that out at the onset because today I want to explore the importance of core value too.

In addition to devoting to him daily, uh, the scriptures continually point us to pursuing relationally.

Again, say to your neighbor, you got me for life.

You know, you're not getting out of this.

Alone, you're not getting out alone.

Yes, we're encouraged in the scripture, believe it or not, to do this life together.

And that might frighten some of you.

It frightens me a bit too.

Uh the people ask, what's your favorite part of your job?

I always say it's the people, right?

They're the only eternal thing next to God that I'm involved with.

And they're gonna go on for a long time.

So I want to make sure they know how to live that eternity out forever with Jesus.

But then they say, Well, what's the worst part of your job?

And I say, the people.

Uh, you know what I'm talking about.

When you're in a family, we we do step on toes.

Sometimes you have to apologize, you got to go to your brother or sister.

But that part of that comes from living in close proximity, right?

And loving in a family way and being together like we had a great time a couple weeks ago, right?

Our baptism service, and then the fellowship in the front yard was phenomenal.

Just coming together with uh the guys did a great job with hot dogs and hamburgers.

Thank you, boys.

Um, I'm telling you, by the end of the sermon, I was already smelling the hamburgers, right?

It was kind of tough.

Um, but as the body of Christ today, what does it look like to pursue strong and loving relationships within the body of Christ with other committed Christians?

And that word's pretty key.

Those who have committed their lives to Christ, um, and especially the local ones, right here at CBC in the church that you uh frequent, the one that you join, the one that connects to you spiritually.

And one of the key verses that helps us to answer this part of the question is found in Romans chapter 12 and verse 10.

Romans 12 · chapter mention

And I spent quite a while just digging through this verse, but I'm just gonna point out a couple of the key phrases in Romans 12, 10.

But before that, let's just pray again.

We we like to pray around here.

Jesus said, This is my father's house, it's a house of prayer for all nations.

Heavenly Father, thank you for opening this place for us today.

But I pray specifically for each and every person here that um you would open our spiritual eyes today and at the same time soften our hearts when we hear your truth so that we can see and receive your wisdom for our Christian relationships and our relationship with you.

And Lord, give us the power by your Holy Spirit to take just one step in that direction today by your help.

In Jesus' name we pray.

Amen.

So, again, after Paul in Romans 12 start talking about uh serving God with our spiritual giftings, you know, the things that God has given to you in a special way that He wants you to work out daily and to work through those things, to develop those skills, don't bury them in the backyard, right?

Like one man did, put his in a napkin, right?

Thought that would be good.

I'll just preserve it.

Don't preserve your gift, use it, utilize it, find out what it is and develop it.

And it turns into a skill that opens doors for your life.

And when you walk through those doors, whichever one God points you to, I believe he's always on the other side of that door.

He will help you uh to uh accompany that gift with his presence.

Never forget that, never forget who is the giver of those gifts as well.

But after Paul speaks about this, our service to God and our spiritual gifts, he moves on to how should Christians behave with one another.

In fact, in my online Bible, it has that title above this section, beginning in Romans 12, 10.

And this is the how-to.

And so, as a Christian, if you are a member of this body or seeking to be, these are the ways that we treat other Christians and refrain from some of those things that might cause uh division among us or separations that should not occur, especially in the family of God, right?

Your forever family.

So he starts with first phrase be kindly affectionate to one another.

This sounds like the ushy gushy mushy stuff, right?

Where it's kind and affectionate.

This is a very intimate phrase.

Uh, he says, to one another, speaking specifically about the church of Jesus Christ, with brotherly love in honor, giving preference to one another.

So there's a lot of stuff packed in this little phrase here.

Uh, one of my favorite uh commentators on the scripture is a guy named Matthew Henry.

And as a kid, I used to go into the library in Cranston because they had an unabridged version of Matthew Henry's writings.

This guy lived just into his, I think, early 40s, but this volume is so thick that nobody really has a copy of it.

And but the Cranston Library had one when I was a kid.

I'd go in there and like, look what I found.

And I told my dad about it.

He's like, Oh, that's great.

You can go and open up, but don't check it out of the library because it's too big to carry in your car.

And uh actually, you can't, it was a reference book, so we weren't allowed to check that one out.

So I'd have to go to the library all the time with my Bible and my notes, and people would see me sitting there with this giant book.

Well, this is the guy, and this is what he wrote about this particular verse.

I loved him because he was kind of exhaustive.

So if you get the exhaustive Matthew Henry's commentary, it's it's thick, it's a lot.

Uh, I think in our library here we have a condensed version of it, so it'll help you a little if you need to find something quickly.

But nowadays you can do it right on your phone.

It's awesome.

Don't need the library anymore.

Uh he writes, quote, all our duty toward one another is summed up in one word.

L-O-V-E, right?

Love the Lord God and love others as yourself.

This denotes the love of parents to their children, Henry writes, uh, which is more tender and natural than any other, right?

Just watch a mom with her little baby, right?

And how we respond in that relationship, in that earthly relationship.

He said it's it's more tender and natural than any other.

But I love this way he ends the phrase.

He says, unforced, unconstrained, meaning you don't have to teach a mom how to love her baby, right?

You don't have to show a brother how to love his sister.

You know, I have mine's coming up for her birthday this week, and just long and looking forward to being with her, singing happy birthday and sharing that moment together.

It's not something I have to generate in my heart, it's already there, you know.

But the Bible says this is what it should be becoming here in the church, the family of God, a brotherly love.

That first word, uh, the Greek word translated kindly, affectionate.

Um, it is uh also translated in other versions, and I think in the NIB it says, be devoted to.

So just as we said, be devoted to God, he's calling us in a strong way to be devoted to one another.

That's a big deal, right?

That's not that easy.

That requires some pain, some sacrifice, some willingness to go a mile or extra mile, or be generous, or help out, or give, or just to be present, to listen, right?

To be quiet and to uh accept some of the pain and the cross that others have.

Um, my dad used to say that, you know, if God made you big and strong, he gave you that for a reason.

And it's not to help someone who's big and strong all the time.

It might be to help someone who is weak and not very uh healthy or able or capable on themselves.

This morning I was watching on the security cameras, and uh a young lady, I'll call her because she's a few months younger than me, walked into the door, and one of our security guys just walked her into her place.

And she's, you know, she walked in tenderly, but it was just such a beautiful thing to watch.

And that is what this is all about, right?

Uh, it's not kudos, it's just what we ought to do, it's who we ought to be as the children of God.

Be devoted.

Uh, so that word comes out the base word for love of a true friend, and in the uh in the strongest concordance, uh, it's a loving bond of a quote, fraternal network of brothers and sisters with common interests and beliefs, unquote.

So this kind of love is different than the world, worldly love.

Yes, we are to love the world.

Actually, when we get to core value six, we're gonna talk a little bit about that.

Our missional devotion, how we reach out when we become saved.

We don't want to be alone.

We want to take others with us uh to heaven, right?

And help have them join us in that journey.

That is the reason we're still on this planet, right?

But our devotion to our church family should be uh much more engaged than I think it is here right now at CBC.

So that's my my witness just watching, but I do see improvements, you know, out on our church sign.

When you pull in the driveway, it says a Christ-centered church under the sign.

And on the other side, the flip side, it says a family church.

And those two words are meant to be coupled together.

The church of God is a family, right?

It's a brotherhood, it's a sisterhood.

It is something that people should see and know when they come here.

They should feel it, right?

There should be something that says, hey, these people have a sense of belonging, right?

And when I come, they welcome me in that manner, even though I might still be an outlander or an outsider, right?

That was the old joke with uh I was at our church or family picnic, and they said, uh, what's the difference between uh was it an in-law and an outlaw?

Uh the outlaws are invited, you know.

I don't know how it went or something like that.

Totally blew that joke.

Whatever.

Anyway, so they invited me anyway.

I was I was an in-law, but they invited me.

Um stop now, my wife's saying.

Got the bleeding.

I think the word was wanted, not invited.

So that that makes it totally different.

Yeah.

So you can see my face on the poster at the post office.

I'm a wanted man.

Um just not at my house.

You don't see too many photos of me there.

All right, sorry.

I digress.

Second phrase.

Here we go.

Brotherly love.

And some of you actually know this word already.

The Greek word Philadelphia kind of rings a bell.

Not talking about the Philadelphia Eagles.

And uh, there's no brotherly love today on that uh Patriot Steelers game either, I'll tell you that.

Um, but it's a special love shared by siblings, by Christian brothers and sisters who happen to share the same eternal father.

I'm sure you've heard that phrase many times.

In Christianity, there are no grandchildren, right?

Meaning, it doesn't mean we don't treat younger ones as our grandchildren, but what it means is we all have to have a direct corresponding link, connection to the father himself.

And when we reach the quote, age of understanding, unquote, then we uh are to move in that direction, right?

And I had to make that decision.

I was probably 20 years old, 19 or 20, and I just realized, wow, this was good for my mom and for my dad, but is it something I want to follow, right?

Is this something that is calling on my heart as well?

And thank the Lord He uh gave me that ability to answer, yes, Lord.

I want to be one of yours, but I want to be a son, not a grandson, right?

I want you to lead me and guide me directly in my life and spent many hours at that library saying, God, what is it?

You know, what are you calling me to?

And believe it or not, one day someone just called me and said, Hey, would you like to help out this aging pastor who needs a hand back in Cranston?

I know you live in Connecticut now, but believe it or not, yeah, it was that phone call that spurred me on to come back to Cranston and in my roots and where I'd lived the majority of my life.

And uh, much to my wife's demise, she had to come along too.

And uh it was not easy at the first.

It was a small little church and it was very uh a lot of work to do, a lot of things to uh uh help with.

But when someone calls you and says, Can you help?

That's huge, right?

This was the call I had been waiting for my whole life.

I've been praying about it.

Ask God, what is it that I am to do?

And when you get that call, you will know.

And they said, Please pray about it.

And I'm like, Yes, we will definitely pray about it.

Hung up the phone and I'm like, I've already prayed about this a million times, but now I gotta pray with my wife.

We have to do this together.

Anyway, just thinking about that this morning, it hit me.

It was like, wow, it was it was that phone call that kind of sparked the difference in the in the move, anyway.

But my my heart was already ready, right?

And God had already been preparing me.

But um, you ever been on like an airplane, right?

And you meet some dude, and you're just sitting next to you and you start talking, and then you find out this person is a Christian.

They love Jesus too.

As soon as you find that out, it's like bing, we are like really close.

Like I know a lot about you, even though I don't even know your name yet.

You know what I mean?

I just know something about you, something that is more permanent, right, than just meeting a stranger on a plane.

We now have the same savior, the same Jesus.

We also have the same hope.

We even have the same destiny, which is really huge.

And I counsel you young guys all the time, make sure when you find a partner, they have those things in common, right?

Because how can two walk together except they be agreed?

And that's that's a number one for us here at CBC.

Make sure that person is heading on the same road with you, has that call to be a follower of Christ.

That's that's important.

But there is there is a similar fondness.

I just want to throw this out there among worldly friends, right?

You can have friends and the world has this too.

I believe every human needs to belong to something.

So there are there are clubs, there are um people who gather over common interests, uh, worldly things, non-spiritual matters.

But in the local church body, the bond we have, according to Paul, it should be more intimate and more powerful than the bond in the world, whether you're at the social club or whatever you're doing, whatever that interest is, this interest trumps them all.

It's beyond and above, and it's eternal.

So the next phrase in Romans 12, 10 is I think the most challenging for us because of that fact that familiarity does at times breed contempt, as they say.

Um, but to have close fellowship with anyone uh requires some pushing, shoving, some balancing, some patience, some things that we don't really have naturally in us to give.

And we say, Well, who is this person?

I don't know them, they're not connected to my family.

We're not blood brothers, right?

But in effect, if that cross is involved, we are, right?

You are blood bought with the blood of Calvary, of Jesus Christ, uh, that cleanses us from all sin.

And then Paul wraps this up with uh the last two phrases which I think connect.

Um, one is that we uh live in honor of uh Timae is the the Greek word, meaning uh valuing, esteeming one another.

That's that's interesting, right?

That helps, I believe, too, in the whole process of loving.

If you believe that person is special in some way, God has touched them, and it may not be in the same way as you, right?

Giving them a gifting or a or maybe even a flaw that makes them just special in your eyes.

You know, maybe they have to be wheeled around in a wheelchair their whole life, you know.

What does that mean?

You know, I just heard a man whose his daughter uh was born with an ailment and she needed to use that chair her whole life.

You know what happens?

Someone in their church said, This money here is for a new wheelchair for your daughter.

He said he and his wife were so blown away because this chair was special, it was super expensive, but it was someone in the church that did that, you know, just felt it in their in their heart that they needed to help.

So this idea of honoring and regarding someone, uh, holding our forever family in high regard, uh, you know, often we do this with like high-ranking officials, right?

Someone holds a title or they're a famous personality, or uh maybe they've achieved something that you just blows your mind.

Like, how could you do that?

How did you accomplish that?

We know that God is in all these things, but some of these people are not Christians, but they have great, great gifts.

They just haven't recognized yet perhaps where those gifts come from, but they are using them wisely, right?

And um, you can follow the book of Proverbs and live a pretty decent life, right?

And God will bless some of those things because they're honoring his truth.

But until you honor his son, uh you don't inherit eternal life.

So there's a big missing piece, but we should so honor those who fight with us, our, I would call them our comrades in Christ, those who are in the trench, right?

We are fighting a battle against sin.

We are part of the winning team, right?

So we know the destiny, we know the end of the story, but we don't leave anybody in the pit, right?

When you're fighting, even in America, right?

We leave no man behind, right?

If someone's stuck behind enemy lines, we go and get them.

We we play pay down large expense to pull that off.

But we are fighting the good fight of faith alongside uh brothers and sisters.

And in war, in battle, that that brings a bonding too, doesn't it?

There's a bonding element to that.

Ask any ex-war vet who had some buddies that survived with them and came back to this side, and now they're like forever brothers, you know.

They have a maybe it is a blood brotherhood, you know, maybe they spared one another's lives.

We don't know.

But the point is when we are fighting the good fight of faith together, we need to recognize that.

I think sometimes we think we're fighting all alone.

That's not how God wants us to do it, right?

Uh, we say that here at CBC all the time.

This is not a life that you should be living alone.

And this whole message points to the fact that we need to attach, we need to get more intimately acquainted with the life story of the people here.

What are you going through?

How can I help?

The phone call I got was, can you help me?

So maybe that's a good call, too.

That's the embarrassing one.

Nobody wants to make that call, right?

Like my boiler just exploded.

Can you help?

The other day I saw a guy out in front of my house called, hey, I got some heavy stuff and I'm I'm too old to pick it up.

Can you help?

And guess what?

Two guys with lots of muscles showed up, you know.

We call them uh the college boys with a truck, two boys on a truck or something, I don't know.

But um, Paul expands on uh this with his final thought here in Romans 10, uh 12, 10.

And I was saying earlier, these two connect, I believe, in the scripture and the the thrust of this point.

He says, giving preference to one another, right?

That's a subset of honoring somebody.

It's connected.

But what this means is uh in the definitions is to yield to the needs of others first.

That's not always easy, right?

Especially uh you're in the food line and uh you're hungry, you know, yield to the needs of others first.

That means loving others as yourself, and that is a challenge, right?

Uh Jesus commented that you know no one hates his own flesh, but he provides for it, he takes care of it.

Think of others in that way, and you're on your way to uh fulfilling this particular command in Romans 12.

Yielding to the needs of others means clearing the path for them, right?

When you see them coming, open the door, hospitality, right?

Setting the table.

That's one of my favorites.

I like to set tables.

I don't know why or where I got.

I think my dad was that way.

So people come in, I'm popping down napkins and forks and knives and whatever, glasses.

And uh my grandmother always had too much silverware on the table.

I'm like, why do we need a spoon?

Or why do we need this?

Uh but it was a gift of hospitality being used.

Um ensuring that here's a big one that my dad used to always uh preach to me.

Ensuring that the quiet ones among us are not neglected or forgotten, right?

But included in our thoughts and in our plans.

And I see this a lot at CBC.

So thank you, those who notice that person and go to that person and say, Hey, how are you doing?

You know, loving those who are not necessarily the friendly type, right?

Or maybe they're a little forlorn, maybe they have something major going on and they just can't express it, but they need somebody to come alongside, even if it's just to sit or listen.

Um, it means generous with our dealings with others, especially, and I highlight this today, with our brothers and sisters in Christ.

So this verse clearly describes the way that we ought to treat our Christian family members, and that may be why we stay away from it so much, because it does require effort, right?

Intentionality.

It sometimes requires finances or time in your schedule.

You know, I heard that on the back of a pop-tart, it tells you how to microwave that thing.

And I think it says like three seconds or something like, dude, if you're microwaving your pop tart, you need to lighten up your schedule.

That's Americans for you, right?

And I'm laughing because I microwaved something this morning.

It's a ding ding, it's done.

There we go.

Uh my dad used to use this phrase as we close this portion.

Don't put your best foot toward England.

It was an old phrase, an old quote.

But meaning um doing everything for those who have no connection to you, but you're just you're trying to impress the masses or something.

I don't know.

Maybe there's some pride in there, but then you're you have nothing left for your forever family because your other life is so packed full, helping England, wherever that is.

And I'm sorry, Georgia or uh Olivia Olivia, we have a few Englanders here.

Um but what happens is I found I did this a lot and I was stuck in it.

And then all I have left from my forever family is my leftovers, right?

That's all I have left because I'm spent.

I have this much space in my schedule.

I got no room.

Somebody calls, hey, can you meet with me?

You know, I got to talk over, I'm having an issue, blah, blah, blah.

Uh, don't put your best foot to England.

It's not biblical, but I think it is uh the theme is biblical.

Uh it's not a Bible verse.

But sometimes we spend more time and energy on the naysayers, the unrepentant, even the prodigals at times, or the lost sheep.

We go chasing, and then we have we neglect the faithful ones who are serving and maybe suffering quietly right in front of us, and we just pass right by them because oh, they're here, they're doing okay, you know.

Let's go reach the masses, you know.

And I talked to you know, some of our leaders here about that too.

I know it is great to go and reach that lost one.

Jesus has that capability, right?

It says he could leave the 99 and go reach that one, but don't neglect the ones who are in the full, right?

He's not neglecting us at all.

Um in a moment, I'm gonna call someone up.

I have a few more points, but I think uh our friend and uh co-worker, uh Victoria um Haley Chith is gonna come up for a few minutes just to share her experience on this topic.

So I'll call her up in just a moment, but let me just touch on a few more points here that I think she will connect with and resonate with as well.

Um but there are different things we can do, right?

To expand this principle in our lives, to like call them baby steps to maturity and faith, to connecting with our forever family, joining a group, right?

Not the Mazda Miata Club, but you know, the the Wednesday night Bible club or whatever, or the golf league, right, that have men praying at the ninth hole together or in the softball dugouts and at home plate.

They're they're praying every game.

You know, they're they have a connection that goes beyond this life.

Um maybe it's a weeknight thing, maybe it's a special uh function at the church.

Show up.

You gotta be here, you gotta plug in, you have to maybe share your contact info with somebody, just certain ideas.

Uh grab a coffee, a breakfast, lunch with them.

But get to know your forever brothers and sisters in spiritual ways.

And I think this is the deeper uh pursuit that we're uh seeing is so beneficial in the growth of CBC right now.

It's that people are willing to share really deep things, even though they may be a little sensitive.

But what it is is I need help, you know, I'm I'm plugging away.

But you may have a brother sitting right in the next corner from you that's going through the same exact thing, and how will you ever know?

Right.

And would would it not be easier, safer, uh, more effective for you to lock arms and do that together and march through it together versus by yourself?

You know, uh Jesus did this, right?

Um, he called together his disciples in one place.

I think in Luke there were 70 of them.

He sent them all out, but he didn't send 70 different places.

He sent them to 35 places, and they all went two by two by show, never alone, right?

They didn't send them out alone, they were in lockstep with one another.

We have uh small groups here at CDC.

Uh and this is one of the small group notes that we hand out.

We list things like fellowship, laughter, have some fun together.

It's okay.

Interceding in prayer for and with, eating with them.

Right?

That's a cool thing.

Jesus did it, right?

His last thing he did was eat with his disciples before he went to that garden.

Caring for them in practical ways, especially when someone's down or they're in a challenging situation.

Do not let them go it alone.

In 1 Corinthians 12, Paul writes, verse 24 if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it.

This is true in the spiritual sense, whether you're doing that or not.

You need to plug into that function because it's part of what the body does for itself, right?

When you bang your knee, your hand finds that knee pretty quickly, right?

It's like, you know, I gotta fix that.

Um if one member is honored, I love this one.

All the members rejoice with it, right?

Cheer on people who are doing well.

This is how you build relationships with people.

If you go to them only when something is wrong, they're gonna like, who are you?

You know, but you know what?

Oh, you were at my graduation, you were here at my baptism, you were here when my mom got sick and you came into the hospital, right?

You were there when my husband was in the nursing home and you guys went over there and you held his hand.

These are things that people never forget.

Let me tell you.

My body Tom uh Morris could tell you this.

He helps those who are going through those different transitions in life.

And boy, they don't forget your name when you're there during the hard time.

So then when they have a need or a problem or something that needs correction, you feel you already have a baseline for that because you've been there to cheer them on.

You've been there in the good times too.

You've honored them when they should be honored, you rejoice with them when they succeed.

Um, but uh this is something that we all need to pay pay attention to.

I want to wrap this quickly and invite up Tori, maybe he can come now.

But point three in my my little notes work uh pursuing relationally, the title of this sermon requires proactive connecting.

But that idea to pursue, it's a proactive word.

But um yeah, the very title denotes uh proactivity, right?

Not just sitting but actively seeking out somebody, right?

Um the uh friendships go deeper, the conversations may lengthen a bit, but they get into areas that you wouldn't normally do, you know, or speak about in a grocery store with somebody when you're just shooting the breeze, or you know, I love to talk about the weather, you know, that's how you get into it.

And then maybe you move into something a little more important, like where are you headed, bro, and what's going on, or do you need help with anything right now?

Scheduling meeting times, coffee connections.

Tori will bring some of this out in a moment, but um another verse that comes up in my mind is 1 Peter 5:8.

1 Peter 5:8

Maybe the guys can throw that up there on the board, but it says, Be sober, be vigilant.

Oh, maybe I didn't print this one for you, because your adversary, the devil, walks around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.

And he says, resist him steadfast in the faith.

This is not done alone, by the way, uh, lonely soldier out there, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world, right?

As we are Christian brothers and sisters, we're all experiencing similar things.

Uh, Bible says there is no temptation taken, man, but that such is common to all men, right?

That we are all fight similar battles because we're all in a fleshly body.

So we have fleshly desires that need to be submitted to the Lord and replaced with godly desires.

And lastly, you know, our smaller groups here at CBC, some of them we call uh moff, goff, and waf, right?

Man on fire, girl on fire, woman on fire.

There's something missing, and I call it OMOF.

It's old men on fire.

The old men are just kind of simmering.

We need to light a little fire and get something going.

So I'm in that club, so I need to get my act together as well.

But I'd love to see some OMOF groups starting up.

Maybe that's my that's just my personal desire because I see what's happening in the younger groups, the ladies, the men, and even the older ladies now are really stepping up into their zone where they're supposed to be.

Uh the Bible says even teaching and admonishing the younger women too.

And that let's face it, in a church of this size, we need that, right?

We need different groups with different ages helping those.

Maybe you've gone through this a long time ago, and they're just about to reach it.

But I want to just share the last few minutes with our friend and uh co-worker Tori.

Um, we have another another Victoria here, and I know she was praying, like, Lord, send me just one girl.

I don't have anybody my age.

And God sent a girl.

Guess what her name was?

Victoria.

So I'm like, Victoria.

Whoops, so now we have to call her Tori or we get confused.

I have like four of them in my family.

One of them we call her Vicky, uh, the other one there is a Tori, and then there's a Victoria, my daughter.

And uh trying to think the other one, we just call her late for supper because we don't want her.

No, just kidding.

Um I just want to uh ask uh Tori a question and she can take over for a second here.

Ms.

Tori, thank you for being here.

I'll stay back.

Um how has being pursued relationally affected uh your own relationship with Jesus Christ?

Sometimes you're the pursue e, not the pursue er.

Yeah, absolutely.

I was on the the other end of it, which was incredible.

And honestly, I I wouldn't be here today, most likely, if it wasn't for somebody first stepping out of their comfort zone and pursuing me.

Um Pastor gave a bit of a synopsis into what that looked like.

But um, there was a girl here who told me she was praying for a while that the Lord descended her friend and in walked me, an unbeliever, just fully living in my sin.

Um, and so I came in, but I was allone and she noticed that I was alone.

Um, and that must have not been comfortable for her, but she got out of her comfort zone.

She came up to me.

She invited me to sit with her in that service.

Um, and then she proceeded to get my phone number and it didn't stop there.

Uh, she continued to reach out to me throughout the weeks and over the next following months, she just consistently invited me to hangouts or um just coffee dates with her.

Um, and what I was able to see is I was able to just see into her life.

It wasn't anything special, it wasn't anything, you know, profound that she had said in those conversations.

She just shared what was happening in her life.

And since God was an aspect of every part of her life, he came through.

And I was able to just see Christ as I got closer and closer to her.

And it made me want to know him.

Um, I don't know who said this.

There's a saying or quote out there, and it says, People often trust in a Christian before they trust in Christ.

And that was true for my story.

I trusted in a Christian and coming close, I was able to see Christ through her life, and I wanted to know more about who this God was.

Um, and so that's kind of how it originally affected me, but it didn't stop there.

It continued and it still impacts my life to this day.

Here I am almost nine years later, I think, since we've been here at this location.

Um, and so pursuing people, it honestly has been such a gift to my faith, honestly.

So when it comes to maybe other believers, what this has really looked like is I get to sit front row and to continue to just see what God's teaching them.

I get to come alongside of them and learn about God and his characteristics and what he's bringing them through.

And I get to join in on that.

And that's an incredible thing.

And when it comes to unbelievers, I really get to lean and depend on the Lord in such a deeper way through those conversations, right?

Because I don't always have the best answers or everything, but I do have the Lord and I have his word, right?

And so I get to depend on him in that space.

Um, and I get to be a part of what he's doing in the world.

Like, who am I?

But God yet chooses us to be part of his plan A into the world and to be a light.

And so he allows me to be part of that.

And it reminds me of the joy of my salvation every time.

Like I get to see what the Lord has saved me from and set me free from and continue to do that.

So it saved me in the regionally through pursuing relationships and has continued to just grow me through the earth.

Thank you for being vulnerable with all of us.

This is a big, big group, not a small group, but um what are some of the challenges that, or maybe the lies that some might believe that would hold us back from uh pursuing relationally?

Do you think?

Yeah, I think I think there's a couple things.

So I think um maybe I think the first thing is for a challenge or a lie that we believe is one lie is that relationships or friendships might only matter if we immediately click with people.

I think we maybe sometimes have a false expectation about what relationships really look like in the start, especially.

And the truth is like, yeah, sometimes you're gonna come across a person and you just gonna jive real quick and it's gonna be incredible.

We love that, right?

But the reality is that majority of relationships take effort, it takes time, it takes consistency, it takes a level of vulnerability there.

Um, and so I would say if that's something that's holding you back, of like, oh, I just don't know, or I don't think we fit really well, it's like, hey, don't let that stop you.

Like keep pursuing that person.

Um, I have people in my life who we are just very different innately.

And yep, I got a smile from someone who knows who that is.

Um, but they are, they're just innately very different than I am.

And over the years, it's been honestly one of the best blessings in my life to have such a close relationship with this person because it's it's grown my perspective of the world and it's allowed me to see qualities of the Lord that I might have otherwise missed.

Um, and so they've taught me a lot about myself in that, in our differences as we just continued to pursue each other through that.

Um, but also so much about the Lord and our faith together.

And so that's been a gift.

Um, I think there's a couple other lies that we sometimes believe or things that hold us back from pursuing people.

And so one of those might be that if you're always the pursuer, it means that people don't care.

Um, and just quite frankly, that's not true.

I know it feels that way sometimes, and maybe you're in this, you're in that role right here today.

Um, it's not true that those two things don't go hand in hand.

And so people express care differently, right?

We don't know what that person might be walking through.

We don't know what they might be navigating as well.

And so it doesn't mean that we ignore healthy boundaries.

It doesn't mean that we force a relationship, not saying that, but being the one who initiates doesn't always mean that it the relationship's less meaningful or they don't care as much.

Um, I think one of the most beautiful things is that Christ pursued us, right?

Like he pursued us, he came into the brokenness and he consistently pursues us, regardless of how much we fall or our faithlessness at times.

Like he is ever constant.

And so we get to reflect that characteristic when we take on this role and pursue people.

And I think the last one that can sometimes get in the way or the lie that we believe around pursuit is this idea that it has to be some profound big thing.

I think we make it bigger than it is, and I think we also think it goes hand in hand with this like idea of busyness.

We're all pretty busy.

And uh I think a lot of times when we make this bigger than it is, when we think that it has to be this grand thing, you have to have this profound speech ready to go that's gonna like change this person's life.

Like that seems really daunting to step into.

And it seems like if I'm already busy, how am I gonna have time to do all of this?

And that's just not what pursuing relationally, I think, looks like in the way that the Lord intended for it to be.

I think what we see is when we look at Jesus' life, he had urgency.

I can think we can all agree.

Maybe Jesus had the most profound urgency in ministry he was doing, right?

Um, and yet when we look at uh, I think it's Mark V, um, he was on his way to a man's dying daughter.

And that sounds urgent, right?

And he was on his way from one task to another, he was working there, and yet he stopped for the women who reached out for him.

He saw her and he met her.

And so on his way to this profound thing, that there had to feel like this time crunch and this pressure, someone reached out to him along that path and he stopped and met that person.

And so if we are becoming too busy or we're making these things bigger than they need to be, we're not allowing ourselves to be interruptible with the people that the Lord's placed all around us.

My dad just telling you, John, life is one big interruption.

He learned that the hard way too.

Yeah.

He was always pursuing something with this great determination.

But like something else Tori said there, sometimes that person's holding back and not initiating because they've been hurt.

They're a hurt person, you know, they've been wounded.

Maybe it was by a Christian friend or by a pastor or by a church.

You don't know the story until you dig in a bit, right?

And find out.

So keep that in mind if you're the initiator.

Don't get tired, right?

The Bible says don't be weary and well-doing, right?

But continue on, but steadfastly reaching for his help to do that, right?

If you're doing that in your own strength, it will be overwhelming.

There's no way you're gonna pull it off for very long.

You'll be exhausted and they'll be visiting you in the hospital, right?

But um uh last question then.

For someone who maybe has this is striking a chord, right?

Yeah, I'm here, I come, I do some things, but I really want to plug in more.

I want, I do need a friend, I need a companion, I need someone, a cohort to do this with.

Um what um or maybe maybe nobody's pursuing me right now.

Uh, what encouragement can can you give for that person?

What can they do?

Yeah, um, I think this is all of us.

Maybe it's been you before, maybe you're here now, or maybe one day you'll come across feeling feeling this way.

I think it's it's a normal thing to come through.

Uh, but I would really encourage you don't wait for other people, right?

Like take the step.

Be the one to pursue others.

I think a lot of time we've seen like just a lot of hurt grow because somebody might feel that they're not being pursued, and it just kind of spirals to a place where they are under the impression this is happening everywhere else, it's not happening to them.

Um, and it it just continues to grow and faster into just this really big hurt.

And the truth is, is like similar to what I was sharing earlier, like Jesus was the one who pursued first.

Like he came into the brokenness with us, right?

And and he consistently pursues us.

And so we get the chance to reflect him in that moment, and we can be the one to pursue other people.

Like we can go out and ask um people to introduce themselves to us, or we can ask the Lord, like, who can I pursue today?

I think that's such a profound question to ask in prayer um every single day.

Like, who today, Lord, can I go out and pursue?

Who around me have you placed in my life that maybe I've overlooked them?

Maybe I just need to reach out to them.

Um, and it doesn't have to be this really big thing, right?

Like it can be asking someone for coffee.

It can be um, like in college, it was a lot of breakfast dates and beach dates.

Loved that.

Um, now it doesn't really look like that as much in this season of life.

It looks a lot more like inviting somebody over as I clean my house because that's the time that I have, um, or calling somebody up and I'm on my commute home from work and just checking in or sending a text message.

Um, I love that what Pastor was saying earlier that sometimes even doing that, we don't know what the Lord is going to use with that small act of obedience.

Um, recently I may.

I texted somebody and I just in doing life with them throughout the years from an outside perspective, I was able to see just their consistency and faithfulness and how hard that that must have been at certain times.

And I was so encouraged by them.

And it would have been such a small thing to just like brush them off or just not go anywhere with them and just continue them with my identity.

But I let them know, like, can I see you?

And like, this is really incredible.

And you've really encouraged me.

Um, and what I didn't know is that person had a wound uh from their past from people kind of in that same area.

And God used that moment of obedience to just let that person know that he sees them, he hears them, he cares for them, um, and to continue in their faithfulness.

And so, yeah, that small act of obedience, the Lord can really do something with.

A gentleman came into my office like uh wanting prayer, you know.

So when we prayed together, I just felt like, yeah, this is my job, this is what I do.

I love uh praying with people and for them, but I want them to pray with along with me.

So I encouraged him to do that.

And when he he prayed for me, I was like so amazingly blessed by this man's prayer.

Like I had no idea the thoughts that he had for me and that he had been praying for me all along.

And when he left that office, I was like, wow, he came to me asking me to pray with him for him.

And when he left, I was the one with the bigger blessing I thought.

I was like, wow, I'm so glad I was, you know, had the door cracked, or you know, I was available, right?

Maybe that's it.

And Tori is saying, God doesn't um he always rewards your obedience, even if it's a small thing.

He is watching.

Bible talks about a glass of cold water to the saint, you know, on a on a difficult day, right?

You you do one little thing and he will remember that, but it does begin that that little bond that we're talking about.

That bond we all should have.

Everyone needs a friend, let's face it.

We need a close friend.

If you have one close friend, you're a wealthy person, right?

You are very uh well off because it's really hard to find one person who really you know, down whenever anything happens, you can call that person, they will be there.

I I have like seven or eight of those people, and I'm just like blown away by that.

You know, that I will just make a phone call and they will be there.

And I I just know it's not me.

That wasn't from me, but the Bible does say we have a part in it in Proverbs 18, 24.

I'll close with this as we stand together.

Solomon writes, the wise man, he wrote, A man who has friends must himself be friendly.

And I often see myself in that case, I'm not friendly enough to have a really good friend.

That means, like Tori said, spending time with the making some time, even if it's a quick phone call, it's a remembrance, right?

My verse of the day a few days ago was Paul talking back to the church in Philippi while he was in a jail somewhere else.

And he's he wrote, I thank my God with every remembrance of you, you Philippians, you ones who keep sending me care packages and things.

They were they were still helping him because he helped them in spiritual ways.

They were helping him in physical ways.

And think about that, right?

Maybe someone has done something great for you.

Uh, don't let it stand there, right?

Tori said, get just give them a text or give them a call on your way home.

My sister in Florida, she always loves to call me when she's in her car.

And I have to remind her after about a half hour of talking that I'm not in my car.

Like I'm working, I have to go to work here.

Uh, she's like, Oh, I'm home now.

We're good.

All right, let us pray with that in mind and just think of this one step.

Maybe I can take one step to pursue a deeper relationship with someone in my eternal family.

Maybe just start with one, right?

Just one person.

Hopefully, your spouse is already locked in, but maybe it's someone else.

And what will that first step be today?

Dear Heavenly Father, uh, I pray, Lord, that you would please show us clearly uh what our true forever family looks like, who they are.

Help us, Lord, uh, to treat them as Paul recommends with true brotherly love and honor them accordingly.

And Lord, make us aware of our human tendencies to isolate the thing that Satan loves, the lion who comes to devour, wants to separate first and isolate.

But especially when we drift from your side, Lord, give us strength and courage to pursue our, pursue you first and foremost, to come back to you, to lay it out at your table at your feet and give you our issues, our problems, our loves and our affection and our praise and our honor.

But help us to pursue our brothers or our sister in Christ with uh a godly pursuit and a determination that's in your word to gather together with them more frequently as we see the day of your return approaching and spend more time, not less time, Lord, with them, both encouraging them, exhorting each other in your ways, Lord.

Help us now to take and to think of, put it in our hearts to do, to make one step today to make this happen.

May it be for your glory, for your honor, and for your praise.

In Jesus' holy name we pray.

Amen.

God bless you all.