Freedom | Forgiveness

Good morning.

Good morning.

Welcome.

Welcome to Freedom Church.

So glad that you're here with us.

My name is Jason.

If I haven't had a chance to meet you yet, I get the privilege of being pastor here.

And uh like every Sunday, it really is.

And I always look forward to gathering with you, but there's always uh those uh here for the first time as well.

And we never uh take that for granted, and we always we always uh we always keep that in mind, and we just want to tell you if this is your first time, we're so glad that you're here.

I also know there's some familiar faces out here too.

Haven't been with us in a little bit.

Sedge, I'm so glad that you're here.

Some other faces, some first-time guests out here too.

So glad that you're here with us.

Can we do this?

This is the best welcoming committee that we have.

We put our hands together and just tell all them thank you for being here.

We're honored.

That's awesome.

I love it.

Well, we are week five of our series on freedom, freedom or freedom series.

And I know um I've been hearing just incredible things from your groups, and I'm super proud of all of you and and uh for being faithful with that as I silence my phone.

Thank you.

Pardon me.

There we go.

And I saw somebody else do it.

I was like, that's a good idea.

Let's silence our phones.

There's it's not like there's a slide for that or anything.

Anyway, uh anyway, glad that you're here.

And uh yeah, we week five.

I I just want to say I'm really proud of you.

Way to be faithful with your groups and and continuing to attend that.

Uh, all of that, by the way, we're in this series that's culminating, it's a 10-week series, and it's culminating in what we're calling our freedom weekend.

And that's specifically for all of you that are participating in groups.

So if you're in a freedom group, it's gonna culminate on October 23rd and 24th Freedom Weekend.

And I'm just gonna tell you right now that that's kind of like if the if the series is a one-two punch, it's 10 weeks of ones, and the weekend is the two, right?

It's a one-two, you want to be there for the 23rd and the 24th.

You in your groups, your group leaders are gonna have more information about that, and they should already start talking about that.

If they haven't yet, they will this week.

And so you want to make sure you mark your calendars.

And I'm just gonna say this as somebody who has been through this, the journey that I'm taking we're taking you through, we're going on together.

Uh, personally, I've been through a similar journey like this, and I'm just gonna tell you um, you do everything in your power to be there on that 23rd and the 24th.

That's a Friday and a Saturday.

Don't let anything get in the way.

I'm I mean it.

I don't we don't do a lot here.

Like we we try to keep it really focused so that when we challenge you to do something, you know that it's a meaningful step.

You want to be there on that on that weekend, okay?

That's just a few that's gonna be here before we know it.

All right.

Well, week five, we're gonna let's let's continue.

We're gonna jump right into this.

You know, there's um today's a topic, um, it's an important topic.

We're talking about forgiveness.

Um, this is a topic, I don't really have to convince anybody that's important.

Like we all know this is an important topic.

You don't even have you don't even have to be a Christian yet.

You can be on the fence about Christianity, and you know that the topic of forgiveness is a significant topic.

It's, I mean, as Christians, we go, it's the starting place for our faith in Jesus.

It's like, I've been forgiven.

Praise God for that.

Like, we know that it's an important topic.

I mean, it's so important.

I mean, look how Jesus talks about this idea of forgiveness and its impact that it's intended to have on relationships.

This is Matthew chapter 5, verse 23 and 24.

Matthew 5:23

He says, Jesus would say stuff like that.

He says lots of stuff like this, but this one in particular, he says, if you have any, and if you're if you're offering your gift at the altar, and there you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, have your gift there in um, leave your gift there in front of the altar, and first go and be reconciled to them, and then come and offer your gift.

Like there's this, it's clearly important.

There's a clear, like Jesus puts a lot of weight on this, like the the dynamic and the health of our relationships and where we're at.

Um, but that's a lot easier said than done, isn't it?

Forget forgiveness is not is not something that comes immediately natural to any of us.

This is a weighty topic, and and there's a lot of reasons.

I in fact, I I think it's worth asking as we go into this.

It's like we know it's important.

I mean, nobody's denying that.

Nobody's nobody, nobody comes.

I mean, the fact that you're here, the fact that you're you're maybe you're you don't know much about Christianity, but you're here, you're you're listening.

There's there's a part of us that goes, I need some forgiveness at some level.

It's it's something we desire, but why do we struggle with it so much?

Specifically, unforgiveness, the the the idea that somebody has wronged me, and my inability at times to extend forgiveness to somebody.

Why is that so difficult?

Why is it so difficult?

There's a few reasons.

We're going to spend our our time together kind of going through what those reasons are, and then maybe kind of correct the record as we as we go along, and then maybe we'll be a little bit more free when we leave here.

How about how's that sound?

That's kind of what we're talking about.

Yeah, let's let's do this.

Here, here's the first one, I think.

I think this is I think it has to be first because I think it's a one of the most I think it's the biggest reason.

We just have bad ideas.

We got bad ideas about what forgiveness is.

We we got bad ideas about what it what it is, what it isn't.

We say things like, you know what, forgiveness just moves on.

We say things like this.

This is what we believe forgiveness is.

Forgiveness moves on.

Who really?

Who said who said that?

Is that is that how that uh that's because that's what Jesus does with us, right?

Does he?

He just moves on.

Uh uh, forgiveness stops rehashing it.

Yeah, uh, that was like a year ago.

Why are we bringing that up again?

This is like I'm breaking down every wife and husband cover you know argument right here.

Like, really, we're rehashing it again.

I thought you forgave me.

I thought we moved on.

I said I was sorry.

We're not to the main point yet, okay?

Forgiveness.

What is that?

Again, we just got all these ideas.

That's what we feel like we want, but is that really what it what it is?

Oh, forgiveness means forgetting, right?

Come on, forgive and forget.

Isn't that what the Bible says?

He says he's he's removed our sin.

As the east is from the west, right?

There's a separation, like there's a forget.

Just in case you're wondering, um our Lord has not forgotten why he died on the cross.

Like, really?

Think about what we're saying.

Like he forgot, he forgets it, like like he has like amnesia.

God has amnesia, he can't remember why he is there's holes in his hands.

You don't know whether to laugh or go, like, yeah, that makes sense.

I don't know.

Yeah, but that's how we think.

Forgive means forgetting.

No, no, no, no.

It what it means biblically, when the when the Bible says God forgets, what it means is he's no longer holding that against you.

That's what that means.

He doesn't mean he has amnesia, he he knows, right?

So forgiving means forgetting.

Here's another one because even not just for those of us that desire forgiveness, because it's you normally the people who you know cause the problems who are usually saying those first few.

But then there's those of us that have been wronged, right?

And we and we wanna we don't want to struggle with unforgiveness.

We want to forgive.

So we we we think things like, well, forgiveness means I shouldn't feel pain around this topic anymore.

I shouldn't feel anything moving forward around this, around this topic.

In fact, sometimes we we kind of convince ourselves I'm still struggling with unforgiveness.

It's like, nah, I don't know if that's really unforgiveness, it's just like that was a really painful thing.

You're just still healing from it.

That doesn't mean you haven't forgiven somebody, right?

Those aren't the same things.

We say things like forgiveness means that things should go back to the way they were before.

You know, there are things that we experience relationally with people where it is impossible for things to ever go back the way that they were before.

And that's not a statement about the power of forgiveness or the power of the cross.

It just means that there's consequences to the decisions that we make, and those things change the dynamics of our relationships, sometimes for the better, honestly.

Sometimes it can be for the better, but not always.

How about this one?

Forgiveness means letting it go.

Just let it go, let it go.

There's a lot of things.

You know, if you've been around, you know, if you've been a Christian for some time, maybe you're maybe you've been wrong, maybe there's tension in a relationship, maybe there's there's there's problems you're trying to solve, maybe there's a reconciled, like a relationship you're trying to reconcile, and um there's friction there.

Sometimes, sometimes your faith can be weak can be used as a weapon against you.

That's a popular way to approach forgiveness.

We we say things like, aren't Christians supposed to to love one another, right?

Like, isn't that isn't that the Christian thing to do?

You're supposed to love each other.

Look at 1 Peter 4 8.

It says, above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multiple a multitude of sins.

Like the power of love.

And so we think, well, well, hold on a second, why are we struggling with forgiveness here?

Because isn't love supposed to just like fix all that?

It's like, yeah, love covers a multitude of sins, but it doesn't cover up a multitude of sins.

So there's there's a big difference.

Maybe contrary to popular belief, like you gotta.

I hope you can see that it's not just this isn't just wordsmithing this around.

This that's that's important.

Love love covers a multitude of sins, but it doesn't cover it up.

Let's see, love requires truth.

In order to be like legitimate Bible love, there has to be truth involved.

It requires truth.

Look at John 8, verse 31.

John 8:31

It says to the Jews who but who had believed in him, Jesus said, If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples.

Then you'll then you'll know the truth, and the truth will will set you free.

You have to truth is a is a critical component here.

Like you can't disconnect what's true from love.

So what it means relationally around forgiveness and when we've been wrong, when you've been wrong by somebody, it means yes, you can move toward reconciliation with somebody, but you can't make someone tell the truth.

You can move toward restoring and making a relationship whole, but you can't make the other person tell the truth.

And see, and that's required, that's that's necessary.

There's a truth component that's necessary toward toward things like forgiveness and eventually reconciliation.

But I think it's also important to make this statement.

In fact, I think it's so important.

I made a separate slide for it, and it's this forgiveness is not reconciliation.

Like you need to know that.

Put this under the category of bad ideas.

Forgiving somebody does not mean that you've been reconciled with that person.

There's a difference between attempting to rebuild a relationship and then and then the sort of like mutual attempt to repair a relationship.

Those aren't the same things.

For forgiveness is a one is a one party, is a one-party concept.

I you you don't need the other person to tell the truth.

You don't need the person, the other person to acknowledge what they've done in order to extend them forgiveness.

Mutual repair, reconciliation requires a mute, mutual, mutuality.

It requires truth.

Like these are the things.

This is why they're not the same thing.

So here's what it means for those of you that are that are in this boat where you're going, I I'm struggling with this topic of forgiveness.

Because I because maybe you have some ideas, like if I forgive, it means that then we're good, they're gonna be back in my life, or whatever it means.

I mean, there's there's small stuff, then there's really big, big stuff.

But I you need to know this that around the topic of forgiveness, like a faithful step might be to attempt repair, because that's a one-party thing.

A faithful step might be to attempt repair with another person, but equally so, a faithful step might be to stop chasing around somebody who refuses to tell the truth.

Because they're not the same thing, they're not the same thing.

Forgiveness and is not is not reconciliation.

Hold on a second though.

What about Jesus?

Is it the is this really how Jesus approaches this topic?

Like, doesn't G you're telling, doesn't Jesus accept us as we are, right?

Why what's this?

I don't understand.

You're telling that's that feels a little bit rigid because isn't Jesus just kind of waiting for us with open arms and just ready to receive us back?

Hold on.

That's a good question.

Let's read this, 2 Corinthians chapter 5.

2 Corinthians 5 · chapter mention

For God was in Christ reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people's sins against them, and he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation.

So we are Christ's ambassadors.

God is making his appeal through us.

We speak for Christ when we plead, come back to God.

Do you see the difference?

Even even with Jesus.

Do you see that?

Extended forgiveness, for forgiving you and me, taking a step and attempt to to reconcile us with him.

He's done everything he could possibly do.

So what's the next step?

The message come back to God.

Do you see that?

That see that requires mutuality.

Right?

What it only took Jesus to forgive.

It takes it takes us coming back to God in order for there to be reconciliation.

See, forgiveness doesn't require doesn't require reconciliation, and it doesn't require like repentance on the other person, but reconciliation that requires repentance.

That requires repentance.

Here's another reason.

So we have bad ideas.

Here's the second reason I think we we struggle with the topic of of forgiveness so much.

Forgiveness just doesn't feel fair sometimes.

Hold on.

It just doesn't feel fair.

It doesn't feel like it's fair.

I mean, my goodness, it's like, after all, do you know what that other person did?

Do you know what they did?

Do you know what they said?

It doesn't feel it doesn't feel fair.

Well, hopefully we've already started crushing a little bit of that because oftentimes our feelings of fairness is is linked to our idea that that forgiveness means access.

And so we're just like, we think I don't want to forgive because that's not fair to give them access back in my life.

And I would say, yeah, again, that goes back to bad ideas.

That's called reconciliation, right?

That see, for we've already we've already established this forgiveness does not mean access.

It doesn't feel fair, though.

Colossians 3, verse 12 says, Therefore, as God's chosen people holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.

Colossians 3:12

Bear with each other, and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.

Look at that.

There's no there's no condition to that.

Do you see that?

It's not con there's no condition to that.

But but look at the look at the weight of it, look at the power behind it, look at the look at the motivation behind it.

Forgive as the Lord has forgiven you.

It's just different, it's a different place.

Yeah, and I get it, it doesn't, it doesn't feel fair, but you you have to understand that our inability to forgive is directly connected to the forgiveness we believe that we've received.

Do you see that?

Our ability to forgive is directly connected to the to the forgiveness that we believe that we've that we've received.

And and the truth is is that is that you this is not just a message or a topic that's for a few of us.

This is the Christian life.

This is for all of us.

The I the idea, the the ability to forgive, directly linked to our to the forgiveness we've received, because the Bible is clear offenses are coming.

You don't have to have been alive for very long to understand things like offenses are coming.

People are c people are coming your way that are going to hurt you, malign you, disappoint you, say things about you.

It just and unfortunately, it starts at a really young age, typically.

Offenses are going to come.

The the tension around offenses coming our way is that, well, first of all, nobody likes it, right?

That just doesn't feel good.

Nobody likes that feeling.

The other part of it is that we go, I'm I feel hurt, I feel pain around what's come my way, the offense that's come my way.

And so we do the natural thing, which is we go, we think to ourselves, how can I avoid ever feeling like this again?

I don't want to go back to that.

And we come up with ideas.

You know why, you know why they hurt me?

It's because I let them, I let them give too close.

You know what it was?

I shared too much.

I shouldn't have shared that.

You know what it was?

I I was I was honest.

I know we'd only I know you know, I was I was too honest too soon.

I mean, we'd only been friends for seven years.

You know, it was just like too soon.

I should have held out for a little bit longer.

Ten years, that's the marker moving forward.

Like we guys come up with ideas like this, like that's the new marker.

Then then trust will be established after a decade, you know.

You know what that is?

That's us going, I gotta guard my heart.

Well, isn't that what the Bible says?

You gotta guard your heart, and so I got I so I put up the walls and I and I decide, oh, this is a it it's not that's actually not the way to look at guarding your heart is not protecting your heart against offenses.

You can't you can't do it.

You you can't protect yourself against offenses in that way, like offenses are going to come.

You can't avoid this.

It's not your job to, by the way, to to protect your heart in that way.

That's actually God's job.

God's the one that actually protects you because offenses are gonna come, but it doesn't mean that offenses have to crush you, right?

And that's not that the answer to not being crushed by offenses is not how do I avoid ever being offended again.

It's that that's not it.

Because here's what it is when you throw up the walls to like guard yourself against these kinds of things, that's a trap.

It's a trap because you think everybody's locked out, and it's not true, you're just locked in.

Because as much as the bad things might not be coming your way, it means all the good things aren't coming your way either.

And God, by His Holy Spirit, enables another person to come into your life, speak directly to you, to encourage you, to give you an insight, even a prophetic word for your future, and you're gonna even hear it because you got the walls up.

Nobody can come in, nobody can speak because you're too busy guarding your heart.

You took on a job that was never your responsibility.

And see, and this is for a lot of us, it's just like we we get these, we hear this phrase like let it go.

Again, we go back to this idea of like, oh, I'm just what am I supposed to do?

Just just just let it go?

Supposed to let go of it?

Proverbs 18.

A brother wronged is more unyielding than a fortified city.

Disputes are like the barred gates of a citadel.

There it is.

What am I supposed to do?

Let it go, boom, we throw the bars up.

Oh, it's impenetrable.

You know, for a lot of us, forgiveness looks something like this.

We we we um it comes our way.

You know, offenses come our way.

Those are things other people give us.

Right?

Somebody offends us, somebody does something, and they kind of like like put something on you.

Forgive, unforgive, forgiveness, unforgiv, like all this stuff, the need to forgive, offense comes our way.

And we've and we're told, like, we we think that in order to forgive, I just gotta like set it down.

If you could imagine for a minute, like this, this represents unforgiv or an offense that comes our way.

This right here.

This this does it.

This is clunky.

Can you imagine carrying this around all day?

Just all day long.

This is what it looks like when offense comes our way right here.

We just we offense comes our way and we just kind of take it on, and it's like, no, I could probably carry this for most of the day.

Truth is, by the end of the day, though, I think my shoulder is probably gonna be.

I'm gonna have some, right?

I'm gonna have some like I'm gonna have some points in my shoulder, right?

They're gonna be, I'm gonna feel it in my body a little bit, right?

But can you imagine this?

Just carrying this around.

Can you believe what they did?

Oh, trust me, I know exactly what they did with it because I'm not letting it go.

I remember it everywhere I go.

And see, every time I walk around, I just take it with me everywhere I go.

I just take it with me.

And I, in fact, I normalize it.

It's just Kind of like this is normal.

This is what life looks like.

Life's hard.

Suck it up.

Yeah, I get it.

And you know what?

I'm dealing with my stuff.

I just lug it around with me all day long.

I take it with me.

And you wonder why we're so irritable because we start walking around, we just bump it, people bump us.

We're just like, what are you doing?

You know, it's just like, well, I was walking by, you know, I didn't realize you're carrying that thing around.

I didn't realize it was getting in the way.

Oh.

Oh, oh, I didn't, I didn't realize I was hitting a nerve every time I, you know, made a little joke or did a little something over there.

It's just like, oh, yeah, yeah, well, you know what?

I don't like it.

We're just walking around with this thing.

Get in my car at the end of the day.

I'm just kind of like, oh, let's get in.

I just kind of throw this around right here.

Just driving down the road, you know.

No wonder I'm so irritable when I'm driving, you know.

Just like I'm just carrying this with me every day.

Every day.

Oh man, I feel it in my body now, too.

You know, I just the aches and the pains, and I just like, oh, you know, I heard of one guy he says, you know, he says, I how do I avoid as I get older?

I don't want to be a bitter old man.

He said to me, here he said in the interview I was listening, he says, he says, he says, he says, people don't become older and then become bitter, bitter people just get older.

That's right.

Come on.

I carry this around long enough.

I might, I might, I might become the bitter old man.

Right?

See, and when we hear, you hear the preacher telling you, hey, you just need to forgive.

We just say, what am I supposed to do?

Just drop this?

And then forget like it never happened?

Just forget about it?

We're like, no, no, no, nobody's saying just just drop it.

We're saying release it.

We're saying you need you need to give it to somebody who can handle it better than you, so you don't have to carry it around all the time.

Nobody's saying that it has to just disappear and we just sort of like cover it up and pretend like nothing happened.

We're saying Jesus is going, you just need to give it, you need to give it to me, and you need to trust that I'll be able to handle this for you, so you don't have to carry it around all day with you.

Every day.

But this is what happens when we guard, we we think we have the responsibility of guarding our hearts, and I get it, that's hard.

That's hard to do.

Some of it's tough.

Some of us are when we talk about unforgiveness, we're not talking about little things, we're talking about big things.

That's that's not easy to do.

Look at Hebrews chapter 2, it says, Therefore, it was necessary for him, talking about Jesus, to be made in every respect like us, his brothers and sisters, so he could be he could be our merciful and faithful high priest before God.

Hebrews 2 · chapter mention

Then he could offer a sacrifice that would take away the sins of the people.

Since he himself has gone through suffering and testing, he's able to help us when we're being tested.

Maybe that's just kind of Bible Ease for you.

Let me let me help you out what he's saying.

He's saying Jesus was betrayed.

You've been betrayed, Jesus has been betrayed.

Jesus was betrayed, he's betrayed by somebody who was very close to him and had a high level of responsibility within his ministry.

He was betrayed, falsely accused.

Oh, he's falsely accused.

Yeah.

By people who had weight behind them.

People, but the the the people that even his own disciples were kind of willing to listen to, maybe at times.

Like they had influence in their life, like falsely accused.

Rejected?

Yeah, he's rejected.

I mean, by his one of his closest friends.

He's got three close friends.

One of them just outright rejects him.

Oh, Peter just outright rejects him.

How about abandonment?

You ain't abandoned?

Jesus has been abandoned.

It says everybody left him.

In fact, they all left him at his hour of greatest need.

I mean, just imagine that.

They didn't just abandon him, they abandoned him when he needed, when he says he needed his friends the most, they were gone.

So he he was abandoned.

He was abused, he was abused, taken advantage of.

And then not only was he killed, but he was humiliated in the process.

He was he was humiliated in his death.

I'm just what it whatever you've you've done or whatever you've experienced, whatever's happened to you, I'm just I mean, none of us have done all of that because you're here.

You're here, so you haven't done all of these things.

But I would imagine I nobody's we can all, every one of us in the room, can relate to him at some level.

And I and I think it's helpful when we when we feel like forgiveness isn't fair, it's re it's helpful to remember that God has forgiven you and me and will forgive us as individuals far more than any one of us will ever be asked to forgive someone else.

The amount of forgiveness that I have received is far greater than any level of forgiveness that I've been required to extend to anyone else.

Here's a third reason.

Not only is it we have bad ideas, it doesn't feel fair.

Here's the next here's the next one, um, it doesn't feel possible.

It just doesn't even feel possible.

Now, I was driving through my neighborhood the other day.

This is like an ongoing story because I'm as I'm saying this story, I'm like, I told, I've told a story similar to this not even that long ago.

I don't know what it is with my neighbors.

I don't know, I don't know.

Maybe it's my driving.

I gotta like, I gotta double check myself, you know.

I'm gonna pay attention today.

How am I driving?

Because once again, I'm driving to the neighborhood, you know, and I'm and I'm and I'm pulling up to an intersection, no, no stoplight signs, you know, and so and I'm there and and I see a car coming, and that car's on my left, you know, and I'm on the right.

And so the person on the right has the right-of-way.

I'm just letting that sink in, you know.

Maybe I should have made a slide for that or something.

The person on the right has a right, you don't have a platform to tell the world your grievances.

I do, so this is my day, you know.

The person has the right-of-way.

So I'm I'm coming along and I see him, but I can tell he's moving.

Like this guy's moving.

I say he, I just assumed, you know, but yeah, I was like, this guy's moving, moving pretty quick.

So I just kind of like I'm I'm kind of rolling up to it.

I'm like, I'm just because he's booking it.

So I'm I kind of stop about a car length before I even get to it, because I'm just like, this guy ain't slowing down.

He's got to be going at least, this is a neighborhood, so he's got to be going at least 45 or something like that.

He's flying through the neighborhood.

I'm just like, oh wow, you know, so I got one hand on the wheel, and so he comes, he comes flying by.

Listen, I didn't even do like the North Dakota friendly thing, you know, where you just got the two-finger wave, like, hey, I didn't even do that, you know, because he's moving so fast.

I was like, he might have thought that was something else, and I don't want him to think that, you know.

So I just got the wind.

I'm just waiting.

I don't honestly, I don't even, I care a little bit, but not that much.

You know, so I'm just waiting for him.

And this guy comes barreling by and just boom, just like he knew me, which I don't understand why he wouldn't, if he knew me, why he would do that anyway.

But he just like flips me the bird as he just comes barreling through this.

I'm just like, I was like, man, that kind of hurts, you know.

I was like, why you you don't even know me, you know?

You probably like me if we got to know each, but here we are.

You know, right, you know, you know, it wasn't, you know, I I had a feeler, you know, it wasn't like I wasn't carrying with, I'm still talking about it, so maybe I maybe I got some unforgiveness I need to deal with here.

I don't know.

You know, that's not that hard to forgive, though, is it?

I don't know that guy, you know, who knows?

Maybe he thought I did something to him.

I don't know.

You know, you that's not that big of a deal.

Hey, yeah, okay, move on.

It's a funny story today.

It's different though, isn't it?

When it's when it's like deep betrayal by somebody that you once trusted.

This is not the same thing.

Forgiving forgiving the guy that kind of makes me want to wait, what hold on, you're you're a Jesus follower now, don't we?

Fighting anybody now, you know?

So okay, yeah.

That's different.

It's not the same thing.

See, when you're talking when the stakes get a little bit higher, suddenly forgiveness just doesn't even feel possible.

So how does that how do I how do I do that?

2 Corinthians 12.

You know, Paul, I mean, Paul's dealing with he's dealing with people.

He's dealing with people.

I mean, Paul is he's very honest in his ex- I mean, so is Jesus.

He's just sort of exasperated with his interactions with people, it seems like.

Just like, I mean, Jesus just he was just blunt.

He's like, How long do I have to suffer you people?

You know, it's like, wow.

That kind of hurts too, Jesus, but you know, what can I say?

You know.

Paul is very similar.

I mean, he's over here just like, how long do I got to deal with this?

2 Corinthians 12.

But look how the Lord answers him.

He says, He said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.

Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

And I think and I think so many times when we talk about the when we think about the topic of forgiveness, we treat it like this exercise of willpower.

I'm just gonna do it, I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it.

And it's just like your willpower up against the pain that you've you've experienced sometimes, makes it feel impossible because I don't know how to get over.

And it makes it very much uh, you know, about me and what I'm capable of and what I'm not capable of.

And I'm being listen, this the same cross that that gives us, you and me, forgiveness is the same cross that empowers you and me to forgive.

I hope you see this.

It's it it's not just I get forgiveness.

The idea of extending forgiveness is actually an invitation.

It's an it's an invitation from God to participate in redemptive work with Him.

We don't really think about it that way, but that's that's what it is.

And it and it's not it's not in and of itself and on its own, it doesn't feel possible.

And guess what?

It's not.

It's not possible.

But the but the same cross that offers forgiveness is the same cross that empowers you and I to forgive.

And and not in some way that forces us to just, you know, again, just kind of throw it aside and pretend like nothing happened, but no, in a way that's dignifying.

He he offers us a way to extend forgiveness in a way where you get to keep your dignity and you don't have to pretend like it doesn't hurt, you don't have to pretend like nothing ever happened, you don't have to you can extend forgiveness and you don't have to pretend like everything is still okay for some for some reason.

That's not what forgiveness means.

You you can forgive and go, we still got some conversations we gotta have.

You you can even forgive and still feel a level of like, I'm I think I've get forgiven like 40%.

I got like 60% to go.

That's a that's an affair statement.

You can you can move toward it.

I'm just saying, like one, it's not a choice, but two, it's it's not it's not simple.

Three, it's it's also not only is it not simple, it's it's often a process.

It's like it doesn't feel possible.

Yeah, well, we're trying to eat the whole thing at the same time.

It's like I agree.

It's like let's take a step toward that.

The same cross that forgives, offers forgiveness is the same cross that empowers you and me to forgive.

You know, I'll give you a couple practical things that you can begin to do if you're struggling with forgive forgiveness.

By the way, you know, I I I use these two kind of steps as like um, I do these two things even over the years, you know, when you've had maybe it's a relationship or whatever, you you're going, have I forgiven?

You know, and and even if I even if I'm tempted to think maybe I haven't at times, you know, I always do, I always go back to this because there's something about this process.

It's not just like it's not just you doing something for somebody else, but but there's something about when you do these next these couple things that allows the the work of the cross to be like active in you at the same time.

So one of the things you start doing is you start praying for people.

Start praying for the people that have that have wronged you, pray for them.

I mean, think about that.

It's like by the way, that is in our, you know, that is part of what it means to be a Christian.

Do I have a slide for that?

I'd have a pray for them slide.

Pretty sure I do.

Pray for them.

Is that up there?

No?

Okay.

They missed it.

That's all right.

Second service.

Pray for them.

Again, I mean, I I know it's like for some of us, we're like, is that in the Bible?

Pray for your enemies.

Is that in the Bible?

I conveniently just kind of skipped over that when I was reading, you know.

Boom, over there.

Not a popular thing.

Easy to say, very countercultural.

Even when you get around other Christians, you know what?

Let's just go there.

Let's just let's just say it.

Get around other Christians and start talking about politics.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, pray for your enemies?

Oh, dear lord, let's not do that.

Oh, we all got our lines, you say.

Pray for your enemies when it when it comes to the guy flipping you off as he drives 45 miles an hour through your neighborhood.

Pray for your enemies for the guy that vehemently disagrees with you with every political ideology that you have.

Oh, I can't do that.

I'm just saying, like, pray for your enemies.

This is real, this is part of our faith.

Pray for them, how bless them.

Now we're really stepping into that, are we?

Pray for them, bless them.

What does that mean to bless them?

Because I thought we already said that that it doesn't mean access and it doesn't mean relationship, and it doesn't mean that we're go back to the way things are.

What does it mean to bless them?

Did you know that sometimes blessing people, truth will set you free?

Being honest is a way to bless people.

Some of us, the reason we struggle with for with unforgiveness is because our version of forgiveness means that we sweep it under the rug, we pretend like it never happened, and then we try to convince ourselves that we're good, but every time we get around that person and those people, it all the feelings are continue to go up.

And so we're just sort of like living, we're we're duplicitous.

Not because we want to be dishonest, but because on the inside we're screaming, but on the outside we place the smile on our face, and we're supposed to pretend like everything's good.

And what sometimes the biggest thing that you the best thing you can do for yourself and others is you can just start being honest.

And I'm not talking about being rude, I'm not talking about letting them have it.

I'm not talking about using truth as a club to beat somebody up with it.

I'm talking about just going, okay, here's some things that have happened, and moving forward, there's some things that are gonna have to kind of change in order for us to have like a whole relationship, like a mended relationship.

Believe it or not, that that's a blessing.

It's a blessing when you decide that you're gonna have healthy relationships, not just relationships that tolerate a bunch of junk all the time.

You're blessing people.

It doesn't feel like a blessing.

The people in your life that you come to to go, we're gonna mend this, we're I want healthy, I don't want fake healthy, I don't want, you know, I want I want real healthy relationships.

When you do that, they'll probably won't tell you you're blessing them, they'll probably tell you just the opposite.

But this is why it's important to understand this from a Bible sense of what this means.

Like what is forgiveness and what it is not.

And when you're struggling with this, pray for them.

Bless them.

You can pray for somebody's good.

For some of us, we've been hurt deeply.

Deeply.

And do you know what an imprecatory prayer is?

Have you ever heard that phrase?

An imprecatory prayer.

An imprecatory prayer, this is a for this is a type of prayer that exists within scripture.

You can read the Psalms especially.

An imprecatory prayer are the prayers that everyone's uncomfortable with in the book of Psalm.

May his children starve to death, you know, stuff like that.

Yeah.

You're like, dear Lord, are we allowed to pray that anymore?

Like, that's a crazy prayer, you know.

May his bloodline end with him.

You know, it's just like, yeah, it's intense.

It's intense.

That's a that's called an imprecatory prayer.

And you go, how is that biblical?

Well, it's biblical in this sense is that when the psalmist writes these types of prayers, it it's it's meant to be it's it's a prayer of breaking.

That that person would be so utterly broken.

But make no mistake about it, that psalmist is willing to lay his life down for that very person.

Do you do you see that?

It's called an impregatory prayer.

So, how do you pray for somebody who's like done terrible wrong and is unrepentant and doesn't refuse to say it?

See it.

There's nothing wrong with you praying that that person would be broken.

Broken.

You go, hold on a second.

That's not a curse, that's a blessing.

To find yourself at the end of your rope, I don't care if it means penniless, I don't care if it means, I don't care what it means.

To find yourself at the end of yourself, broken, utterly broken, and only one way to turn, and that's toward Jesus, and you finally do, that's the greatest day of your life.

Are you understanding?

Understand what I'm saying to you.

That's an imprecatory prayer.

Well, how do I pray for them?

Lord, bless them and make everything they do thrive and prosper.

No, what are you talking about?

They don't even, they're unrepentant.

That person is even is they're hardened toward the things of God, godless and anti-God.

It's like, no, no, no, no, no.

I pray that there's a brokenness and not a not a spirit of vindication and vengeance and I'm gonna get what no no no.

But from a spirit that says, I'm willing, I'm willing to lay my own well-being down in order to see this person come to Jesus.

It's a different way to think about it for some of us.

You know, it's a struggle too, because it I mean, there it it's hard for pain to not be like reeling around in our minds, and it's hard to forget these things and things that have happened to us.

For some of us, it's things we've done.

Oh, yeah.

For some of us, this is the things we've done.

And we just we it most nights are probably good, but every now and then you've got those nights, it just kind of what you've done just kind of robs you of your sleep.

You're just sort of reeling on it.

You can bury it, and you probably tried, you can beat yourself up over it, which you probably do on occasion, or you can start blaming somebody, which if you don't deal with it, you eventually will.

You can do those things.

There's only one way to get past your past, though.

It's not forgive yourself.

I know we like to say that.

Forget just forgive yourself.

No, no, no, no.

You need to receive forgiveness.

You need to receive forgiveness.

You can't forgive yourself.

Forgiveness that you receive.

You need to receive that.

And by the way, you remember how Jesus said it?

Remember when he taught us how to pray?

Sermon on the Mount?

There's a line right in there.

He said, forgive us of our debts as we have forgiven those indebted to us.

Forgive, forgive us of our sins as we forgive those who've sinned against us.

By the way, that's not an ultimatum.

I think that's how we hear it.

It's like, oh man, if I don't forgive, he's not gonna forgive me.

He's not giving you an ultimatum.

He's telling you the nature of forgiveness.

The nature of forgiveness is this forgiven people forgive.

That's the nature.

It's seed time, harvest.

That which goes in the ground, dies, comes back.

Are you are you I don't know if you're following that.

That which you that which you sow, you reap.

Like that's the process, that's kingdom living.

So may we be forgiven as we forgive others.

Why?

Because this is a this is a cycle, this is the nature of forgiveness.

It's not an ultimatum.

And so here's what we're gonna do this morning as we as we wrap up.

This is for some of us, we're in probably in a in a few different camps here around this topic of forgiveness.

It's 1 John 1 9.

If we confess our sins, he's faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

And see, for some of us, we this morning, we need to we need to receive forgiveness for what we've done.

We need to receive it.

You've been reeling over it, you've been, it's it's kept you up.

Some of you, some I have no doubt it goes back probably a decade or more for some of us.

You need to receive forgiveness.

Others of you, you've received forgiveness, but you need cleansing.

You need your mind to be cleansed.

You need God to, you need to be reminded, you need to remember that He has forgiven you.

Some of you, some of you, you need to be cleansed because of what's been done to you.

In fact, you're you're struggling with forgiveness because things have happened to you, and you need you need to receive forgiveness for what you've done.

You need cleansing for what's been done to you.

Come on.

That's a renewal, that's a made new in Jesus.

That's a new mind.

You need that.

And for some of us, we've been carrying stuff around a long time.

And I'm telling you, it is it's it's affecting everything.

It's affecting your marriage, it's affecting your relationships.

Some of you it's why you go into isolation, it's why you it's it's why.

You run, it's why you can't, it's it's why things are difficult, it's why you can't commit to anything.

It's like it's affecting everything.

You don't even realize half the stuff it's impacting, but it is.

You got pain in your body, you got pain all over.

You it it just though somebody says the wrong thing and and at the right time, and it's and it's over for you, and it's and it's unforgiveness.

And the invitation this morning is to finally release it.

You need to release it.

And here's what releasing is Jesus, I trust you that you can deal with these offenses and these wrongs better than I can.

That's forgiveness.

Let's pray.

Jesus, we need your help.

As we are, no, no doubt, every one of us, we're thinking about the things that have happened, we're thinking about things that we've done, and we need your help.

By your spirit, help us.

Help us to extend forgiveness where we've maybe been withholding it.

Shine a light on those areas where we've, honestly, for all of us, we've probably misunderstood forgiveness at a certain level.

Make that known to us right now, would you?

Would you make that known so that we can actually step into forgiveness?

We can finally release that.

And so, in fact, that's what we do right now.

We just take a moment and we release the offenses back to you.

We give it to you.

We don't dismiss it, we're not ignoring it.

We may even come back to you and revisit that topic from time to time.

But we trust you that you can handle this better than we can.

I don't want to carry this anymore.

I don't want to carry this weight anymore.

I'm tired of the defensiveness, I'm tired of the feeling of rejection, I'm tired of all the feelings and the stuff that comes with it.

I give it to you, Jesus.

And we ask for forgiveness.

For some of us, we've been following Jesus for some time, but there are things in our past that we've done, maybe even done recently, and we just need forgiveness.

And we haven't really come to you.

We haven't come to you formally, and so this is our moment.

And we just go, Jesus, please forgive me.

I confess what I have done.

I failed, I disappointed myself.

Thank you.

I need forgiveness.

Thank you for giving me forgiveness.

Thank you for cleansing us, cleansing our minds.

There are things that have happened to some of us, and nobody knows about it except you and the Lord.

Except you and Jesus.

He knows.

So, Jesus, help, help us cleanse our mind, our bodies, heal us, make us whole.

For some of you, it's appealing.

The idea that you could walk light like this, the idea that you could be free, the idea that you could walk with a sense of joy in the face of some of the terrible things that may have happened to you, or maybe even some of the terrible things you've done.

The idea that there's a freedom and a lightness and a joy on the other side of it, that sounds appealing.

But I'm going to tell you right now, there is no men, there is no amount of mental exercises and special prayers to pray except for one.

It starts with one and it's a full surrender of your life to Jesus.

And it begins right there.

And if you've never done that, this is your moment to surrender your life to Jesus.

In fact, just make it your own prayer and tell them in your own way right now.

Jesus, I surrender.

I give up.

I'm yours.

I'm done running, I'm done resisting.

Jesus, I admit I failed miserably.

And all my ideas and my ways to make my life a win and a success, I admit it, it doesn't work.

And so I surrender my ways to your ways.

I confess my sin.

Thank you for dying on the cross for me.

Thank you for raising again.

And I'm so grateful that you said that when I confess my sins and I confess that you're my savior and I commit my way to you.

He said that you would raise me up to new life with you.

So thank you.

I'm all yours.

Thank you for saving me.

Thank you.

It's in Jesus' name we pray.

Come on, everybody said amen, amen.

Come on, like we mean it.

Come with our hands together, tell Jesus thank you.