Genesis 34 (The Daughters of the Land) - Pastor Bruce Mejia

And we're going to continue with our Bible study here in the book of Genesis.

Of course in chapter 33 we have Jacob returning back to the land that God had commanded him to come back to.

But of course we see that he has partial obedience because he doesn't fully return to Bethel.

He ends up actually coming back to Sheikah.

And so we see here that it actually poses a major problem.

And the principle that we can learn there is that when you have partial obedience,

when you don't fully commit to the things that God commands us to do,

there's obviously going to come problems because of that, right?

Because he goes to Sheikah at the letter end of chapter 33.

And the Bible says that he buys a parcel of land.

He has the tent that he builds there.

So he's essentially implying here that he's going to be in this particular area for quite some time.

And it ends up posing a major problem for his family and of course for his daughter.

And that's what we're going to look at tonight.

Dinah wanting to see the daughters of the land.

It says in verse number 1 of chapter 34.

And Dinah, the daughter of Lea, which she bared unto Jacob,

went out to see the daughters of the land.

And when Sheikah was the son of Heimor, the High Vibe,

Prince of the country saw her.

He took her and lay with her and defiled her.

So obviously not a whole lot of information is being given to us of how this specifically took place.

We have Dinah, who's one of the daughters of Jacob,

out of curiosity wanting to go into the land of Canaan

and kind of out of curiosity just kind of explore the daughters of the land.

And people can interpret this in various ways.

Obviously we can extrapolate the fact that she's by herself.

She doesn't necessarily have her brothers with her.

She definitely doesn't have her parents with her.

And this kind of demonstrates here that when a daughter is out from under her authority,

her protective authority, she can get into a lot of trouble, right?

She's out there seeing the daughters of the land.

But instead of seeing the daughters of the land,

someone actually sees her, right?

Which is the son of Sheikah, or excuse me, the son of Heimor.

And of course what we have here, he takes her.

He lays with her and he defiles her.

So what kind of sin is being taken place here?

Well, we have fornication taking place.

And fornication is a major sin in the Bible.

Obviously it's not on par with the sin of adultery,

as noted by the fact that the Bible institutes the death penalty for adultery

later on in the book of Exodus.

However, fornication is still wrong.

It's still a form of defilement.

It doesn't please God and of course it doesn't please the parents.

So you have a major sin taking place here

and it's all because there was no separation between Dina

and those of Canaan, okay?

So what's the principle that we can learn here?

Well, we see here that parental proximity to the world

often determines what happens to our kids, right?

We have Jacob deciding to live in close proximity

to the men of Shechem,

which ultimately results in Dina being defiled by a man of Canaan.

And what we can learn here is that we need to make sure as parents

that we steer clear of the world,

especially for the sake of our children, right?

Making sure that we're not constantly on the border of the world,

causing our children to have worldly appetites,

worldly companions, worldly ideologies

because that can eventually defile them in the long run.

Now a good example of this we've already gone over is Abraham, right?

And of course Abraham, to a certain degree, did worse than what we see Jacob doing here

because he actually went into Egypt.

And when he goes into Egypt, he takes his family with him.

We see that Abraham ends up bouncing back spiritually,

but his nephew Lot didn't bounce back, right?

He ends up developing an appetite for Egypt to the point that

when they return, Abraham gets right with God.

He goes into Bethel, but Lot wants to pitch his tent towards Sodom,

eventually causing him to live in Sodom,

eventually causing him to lose his entire family,

and eventually causing him to unfortunately commit incest with his daughters.

And so his family went into complete disarray and destruction

and we can all point back to Abraham going into Egypt,

which is a picture of the world,

thereby developing these appetites in his family.

And so we have somewhat of a similar example here with Jacob

because Jacob was supposed to go to Bethel,

but instead of going to Bethel, he goes to Sheikham,

he pitches his tent there with his family,

and then essentially invokes curiosity within Dinah

to go see the daughters of the land.

And what's another principle that we can learn here?

You know, we need to make sure that we pay attention to the friends

that our children have, okay?

Meaning that, you know, obviously our kids are often curious,

they want to know what's out there,

and it's our job as parents to essentially provide

the guidelines and parameters of what type of friends

and associations they're going to have.

And you know what?

Sometimes that is, you know, the responsibility,

it can be a grievous responsibility

because sometimes we've got to tell our kids like,

hey, you can't hang out with your unsaved cousins or something,

with these unsaved people, with the unsaved neighbors,

you know, because of the fact that we don't really know them, right?

We don't know what they do.

And here's the thing, folks, is that obviously we don't want

to become Amish here, we don't want to be weird about it,

and so, you know, there's nothing wrong with having associations

and so forth, but they need to be supervised, right?

For example, you know, my kids, they have,

they don't have necessary close relationships

with the kids in our neighborhood,

but you know, whatever associations they do have,

we always make sure that it's supervised.

Because here's the thing, folks, it only takes a couple

seconds to defile your kids.

It only takes one image to defile the kids.

You're like, well, you know, that kid is good.

I think his parents are great, and so they can go

and hang out in a dark corner somewhere.

I'm just going to let my little Peabody go into their room,

and so, you know, the mom's great, the dad's great,

everything's good.

My little point dexter will never do anything wrong.

Yeah, but here's the thing, folks, is that their point

dexter might do something wrong, though.

And if they're unsaved, you're like,

well, they say that they're Christians.

Well, even if they say they're Christians, though,

you just don't know what kind of Christians they are,

and you're like, well, I think they're saved.

Yeah, but even if they're saved, you just don't know

what standards they might have.

You don't know what they're involved in.

You don't know if the parents are super lenient

with their kids, what they allow them to do,

what they allow them to watch,

and I'm just telling you right now,

it only takes a couple seconds for that kid

to say, hey, watch this video.

Here, watch this image and just completely defile

the mind of your children, okay?

And so you're like, man, I just don't want to be too strict.

Well, in my opinion, it's better to just be too strict,

be too careful, than to be too lenient,

and then you end up destroying the innocence of your child,

not because you wanted to,

but because you placed them in Sheikham, you understand?

You were too close to Sheikham,

and thereby causing Dinah

to want to go see the daughters of the Lamb.

And I'm thinking to myself when I read this story,

you have Simeon and Levi

just kind of going overboard

on the punishment on the men of Sheikham,

but it's like, why didn't you supervise her?

Why didn't you go with her,

take her to the market, go with her?

Why did you let her go by herself to Sheikham

where these potential dangers are?

It's better that you would have supervised her,

and obviously, we can't protect our kids

100% of the time,

but we can for sure do our best

to make sure that we can provide some sort of protection

by keeping them from the worldly cousin,

from the worldly uncle,

from the worldly neighbor, whatever it may be,

because we just don't know.

And you say, well, I think you're exaggerating.

Well, look, I got saved when I was 21,

and so I was 21 years in the world,

and I'm just going to tell you right now,

there's a lot of bad influences in my life.

I had a lot of bad influences.

I had a lot of bad cousins.

Now the one I'm going to go see tonight was not a bad cousin.

I grew up with him, and it devastates me.

I do apologize for just getting emotional like that

because it does hurt me a lot,

and I don't want to think about it right now,

but he was a good cousin,

but I'm just going to tell you right now,

I had bad cousins too.

I had really bad cousins.

I had really bad friends.

And you know what, my mom did her best

to make sure that we weren't around bad influences,

but you can't really protect your kids 100% of the time.

You have to instill convictions in them,

but you also have to set parameters and guidelines

and not place them in sheikahm,

thereby causing them to possibly be around

the wrong types of people.

You say, well, aren't church people

the right type of people?

In my opinion, they are,

but just because people are in church

doesn't mean you should just give everyone

just unfettered access to your kids

because you just don't know sometimes, you understand?

And so better to be strict now,

better to just keep track of

who your p-body's with,

who your daughters are hanging around with,

than to just trust everyone

and then regret it later

when something arises like what happened to Dina.

Now look folks, thankfully Dina

wasn't brutally murdered or something, right?

You just don't know.

Luckily she wasn't murdered.

Luckily some horrific thing didn't happen.

However, I'm sure Jacob and of course her brothers

were grieved over the fact

that she committed fortification

with the guy of the land.

Dads, let me just say this is that

we need to make sure that we do our best

to get our daughters to the wedding altar

a virgin, right?

We need to make sure that we protect our daughters

and make sure, and look,

I'm not imposing this standard on anybody here

but this is the standard that I have

is that I will be heavily involved in the,

and when I say heavily I don't mean like

Amish heavily, I'm saying,

but I will be involved in the dating relationships

of my daughters, of my sons too

but more so my daughters.

You know, I don't want my daughters

just getting involved with some guy

and it's just like, well, honey,

whatever makes you happy.

I need to make sure I protect my daughter

from some weirdo out there

who might be like this guy right here, right?

And so it's important for us as parents

to make sure that we do our best

to protect our kids

and it starts with, as we see here,

not being in close proximity to Sheikah.

Just go back to the house of God,

go back to Bethel,

make sure you have Christian convictions,

you make your home a Christian home,

you talk about the Bible with your kids,

you talk about these biblical standards and so forth

and then on top of that, do your best

to just protect them as much as you possibly can.

And look, don't let your kids out of your sight.

You know, oh man,

and especially in the day and age in which we live,

here's another standard that I have

for my kids and I'm not imposing it upon you

but it wouldn't be a bad idea if you also

integrated this into your parenting.

None of my kids are going to have cell phones

for a really long time.

In fact, I don't see a problem with my daughters

not having to cell phone until they just

get married or something.

Why would they need to?

Who do they need to contact?

I'm right here.

Any contact with them?

I'm right here.

Oh, that's just so, that's excessive.

You know how many things people could do

on their phones now?

You know how much they can just

contact people and go behind your back

and talk to people online

and Snapchat this and Instagram that

and look folks, these young people

they could be sneaky.

They could be very sneaky.

You're like, well, I checked their phones.

They know how to erase stuff.

They know technology better than you do.

Now if you feel like, well,

I'm going to give my kids cell phones

and I just feel like I have a pulse

on how they operate.

More power to you.

But I just don't want to risk it

because it's a computer in their pocket.

You just don't know what's happening.

You don't know what kind of ideologies

and ideas the person on the other side

who they're talking to is placing in them

that will we have them turn in their cell phones?

Yeah, but here's the thing.

What about when they actually have it?

And you're like, well, I can look through

the text messages.

That's not the only way.

That's not the only way people communicate.

People communicate in different ways.

And look, if you've been in the world,

you know for a fact people can be sneaky

because we were sneaky.

Right?

Can I get a witness here?

I'll be the only one to admit that.

Because I know you guys are all saints

and holy and all.

Look, I was sneaky.

And I figured out how to be sneakier

as the years went by.

And so don't think for a minute

that your little pee body is not going to understand

how to be sneaky and keep things from you

if you place them in that position

to be tempted to do so.

Now another part that I want to mention

in this regard is that

obviously it's important for us to have rules

for our kids, standards for our kids,

biblical convictions for our kids.

I think that's extremely important.

Explain to them what your expectation

is of your children and so forth.

But also think it's important for you

to make sure that you win your children's hearts.

Now what do I mean by that?

I mean that you have such a good relationship

with your kids that they don't keep things from you.

That they're willing to just divulge

maybe some of their temptations to you.

Some of the things that they struggle with.

Some of the things that they,

maybe being embarrassed about to talk to people,

it's important for us as parents

to do our best to win the hearts of our children

so that they're not keeping things from us.

Dianna's not saying,

I kind of have this desire to want to do this

because it's important for Dianna to go to mom,

to go to dad and say,

hey, I want to go see the daughters of the land.

I want to see what's out there.

And then for the parents to come in and say,

there's nothing wrong with that

but we're going to go with you.

There's a lot of dangerous things

that can happen to you out there.

You're a child of God.

Satan's out to try to get you,

to defile you.

There's a lot of bad people out there

and so we want to make sure that we're careful.

Let's all just go together.

Let's go as one big happy family.

And so when your children's hearts

spend time with your kids,

and when I say spend time with them,

I mean have conversations with your children.

Meaning that have heart to heart

conversations with your children.

Make sure that you have conversations with them

where they entrust you with information

that they maybe otherwise wouldn't tell you

if you didn't have their relationship with them.

And look, I know what I'm talking about

because again, I was an unsafe person

at one point in time in the world

and yes, I did keep things from my mom.

Sorry mom, you know, it's true.

I think everyone did to a certain degree, right?

It's just how it is.

And you know, just navigating through life

as a worldly teenager,

I know that that could be the propensity

for kids to do as they grow older.

And look, there's nothing wrong with Dina wanting to get married.

There's nothing wrong with Dina even liking this guy

but just going through the proper channels

would have helped a lot more, right?

And so we, there's nothing wrong

with Dina wanting to get married

but you know, we need to make sure

that we aid Dina in doing it the right way.

You understand?

Instead of her just going out on her own

and then committing fornication

and then you have this big problem on your hands.

And so that's important to know.

So parental proximity to the world

can often situate your children and your family

to do wrong things, right?

To commit sin or whatever it may be.

And look, folks, let's just be honest.

You know, you need to make sure

that the people who influence your children the most

are you, okay?

You know, I'm going to influence your kids

from the pulpit.

There might be people in our church

that influence your children

but you need to make sure

that you have a pulse

on who actually influences your children the most.

You know, my father-in-law used to say,

you know, you need to beware of the uncle.

You need to beware of that cousin

because you just don't know sometimes.

Like, well, you know, he's my brother.

Oh, you know, she's my sister or whatever.

Yeah, but you just never know.

Just never know.

And you know what?

You might think to yourself,

well, I don't want to be offensive

towards my brother.

I don't want to be offensive

towards my sister or my relative.

Yeah, but you're going to be offended though.

You're going to be offended

when that person poisons your children, you know,

and defiles them, okay,

and then later on you regret it.

So it's important for us to even recognize,

and I'm not saying be suspicious of everyone.

I'm just saying like, you know,

have some wisdom about yourself

to know like I'm just not going to let my kids

go hang out with just any Tom, Dick and Harry

just because they have the last name here.

Okay.

And so, you know,

you need to make sure

that you take care of your kids.

Obviously it's important to provide for them,

but equally important to protect them

from dudes like this, like Hamor, who, you know,

and look, Hamor, according to the passage,

was the most honorable of the guys in the land.

And you know, this is what the Bible says.

He's like, he was more honorable

than everyone else.

And you're like, oh, that's good.

I guess because he's willing to fornicate

and then get married later.

If that's what you consider honorable, right?

That's kind of showing you

what the standard of the land was.

That's basically what it's saying.

When it's saying that he's the most honorable,

it's essentially demonstrating to you

what the standard, what was the best guy out there.

The best guy is willing to sleep with you

before he marries you.

And you know, there's tons of guys

like that out in the world.

Okay.

And so, and by the way,

there's a major biblical principle

that's being violated here.

And that is that Hamor and the family,

they're not believers.

Not saved.

And so, you know, there's a major issue here.

She's fornicating with an unbeliever.

She's going to get married to an unbeliever.

There's all kinds of violations here.

So it's important for us

that even when they're little,

we're explaining to them

what our expectations are of them,

you know, for their life.

Oh, they're too little for that.

I don't think so.

I don't think so.

And look, our kids,

when they're little, they want to please us.

They want to know, you know,

what makes mom and dad happy.

And I explained to my kids what makes us happy.

And I explained to them what I want them to do

when they grow up.

Not, you know, I don't impose on them,

you know, what their career is going to be,

or if they're going to make money or not.

I impose upon them what the biblical conviction is,

which is, you know, you should marry

a believer, a Baptist,

making sure they have these standards.

And yes, I will be involved.

And look, you know,

my father-in-law was heavily involved.

A little too much in my opinion,

but, you know, it was up to him, though, you know.

He had every, like, God's not going to punish him

for that at all.

You know, he's not going to criticize him at all

for that because he had every single right

to impose all of those crazy standards

that he had.

Those crazy outlandish standards

that he had for me,

he had every right to do so.

Okay?

But, you know, looking back,

as outlandish as I believe they still are.

And I'm talking about crazy.

Okay?

I'm talking about, like, offensive standards at times, you know.

You know, just to give you a taste of it, okay?

I'm talking about background checks, you know.

And he's just like, go get an HIV test

because I just want to know.

I'm like, hey, what am I, a homeowner or something?

And he's like, background, I want to know,

credit, he just got everything.

He's just got all the information about me.

Everything, Paul.

And, you know, in my mind, I'm like, that's excessive.

And yes, it was excessive,

but he has every right as a father to do that, though.

And you know what?

If I didn't like it, I could have just been like,

okay, this is too much.

I'm not going to do it.

But, of course, my wife was worth it.

You know, Sarah was very much worth all of that, okay?

And I'm not trying to give dads any ideas here of that

because obviously I'm not going to be as excessive

as my father-in-law,

but he did teach me the importance

of making sure that you're involved, though, okay?

And not just letting your daughter date

any Tom, Dick and Harry or whatever may be.

And look, the standard I'm going to have for my kids

is just like, you're not just going to go around dating

a bunch of different people, either.

The purpose of dating is to get married.

It's not high school.

It's not the world where you just want a companion

for a couple of months or something like that.

You should have the intent to date someone

because you actually have the intent to marry them, okay?

And so, you know, this is what I'm teaching my boys.

This is what I'm teaching my daughters.

And let me just say this too, since we're on the subject, okay?

You know, I love the fact that people are, you know,

they date and, you know,

so many people have gotten married in our church

and it's awesome.

But let me just say this,

is that marriage is a major commitment.

It's like one of the biggest commitments.

I would say even you just, like,

one of the biggest events after salvation, right?

It's a major commitment.

It's a major thing.

So, you know, take your time trying to figure out

who you're going to marry, okay?

Don't get caught up in the spirit

and be like, this is the one

and just get married tomorrow, okay?

You know, a lot of times people are like,

well, I believe this is the one.

We're going to get married, you know,

in about an hour or something like that.

And you know what?

It may seem like a good idea

because you're just in love, you know?

You're just, you just love this person.

You're just absolutely in love.

This is the one.

She believes the reprobate doctrine.

She hits post-trip, pre-rath.

She's got all the boxes.

She's a soul winner and all these things

and you think everything's great

and look, that is great.

But I'm just telling you right now,

listen to me, okay?

Take your time though

because that stuff wears off

and then when you get married

then you realize like, actually this person sucks.

Like, man, like, I don't even care

that she believes the reprobate doctrine anymore.

Like, this is terrible.

My life is a living hell right now.

And you know what?

Let me just tell you this.

After that, it's too late.

Because it's still death through us part.

So you better keep that zeal.

And you know what?

You made a covenant before the Lord.

Well, you know, I didn't see all the red flags.

That's your fault.

You didn't see all the red flags.

You're too busy just...

You weren't paying attention

and now all of a sudden

because the honeymoon's over

now you're like, yeah,

but I didn't really know the person.

Who's fault is that?

Who's fault is that?

You know, and look,

I'm not for elongated engagements either though.

Okay?

I'm not for the seven year

pre-tribulation, tribulation,

Daniel's 70th week either.

Okay?

I'm not for the three and a half years

of tribulation, three and a half years of wrath.

I'm not for that at all.

Okay?

I think that, you know,

in my opinion, you know,

when you feel you found the right one

or whatever, you should get engaged

within maybe five months or so,

six months, and then, you know,

maybe four to six months thereafter,

then get married.

Okay?

Like about a year.

This thing should take about a year or so.

But not like two months though.

Okay?

And you say why?

Because, you know, you got the...

you got the spiritual adrenaline right now

of being in a relationship.

And I know a lot of people

are not going to listen to me

in this regard, and that's okay.

You'll come to me, like, six months down the road

when everything's falling apart

and you regret making the decision,

then I'll help you pick up the pieces.

That's fine.

I'm just telling you,

don't act like I didn't tell you though.

Okay?

And look, I understand you're like,

well, you know, time is flying by,

and, you know, I'm just getting...

I'm not getting any younger.

You know, I'm only getting uglier.

I'm just, you know, I just...

I get it.

I get it.

Okay?

However, I still don't think

that's a good idea

for you to just jump into a marriage

right away and get married

within a week's span, you know.

And look, if you get married

within a week's span,

let's just have an exaggerated timeline, right?

You get married within a week's span.

You get married within a month's span.

Praise God.

You know, God is pleased with you

because you got married, amen.

And it's going to be great.

It's going to be great the first couple of weeks.

It is.

It's going to be awesome.

You know, you get married.

You're just like, man, this is wonderful.

And, you know, she makes me breakfast.

And everything's just great.

And then after like a month or two months,

then you start realizing, like...

That's weird.

You know, then...

Or after the honeymoon,

she's just like...

She's like...

You're like, who the hell are you?

I have an intruder in my home!

You know, she takes the tape off her eyelids

if she's Asian or something.

You know, just all of this

fake stuff comes off.

Okay?

Or, you know, for the girl.

You know, you guys are on your honeymoon.

He takes off his shoes.

And then he's like, a lot shorter.

He's like super tall.

And he takes off.

He's just like...

They're like, oh, dude, I got a short cane.

He's been wearing platforms the entire time.

He's only been standing on

the highest of places in the room

when I talk to him.

He's been height-maxing this entire time.

He reaches in.

He just removes the fake muscle

from his biceps and shoulder,

the pads and everything.

And you're like, I can't believe this, you know?

It wears off.

It wears off.

And then you know what's going to happen?

Then you're going to start coming up with reasons

why you need to get divorced.

Oh, you know, it's just not...

I don't think it's God's will.

He's so abusive with his words.

You're abusive with your looks.

We need to have a society

that promotes staying together no matter what.

Okay?

And you know what?

What irks me is when people are just...

They're so in.

They're all in to get married overnight,

but they don't necessarily carry over

that same conviction,

that same zeal a year down the road.

Five years down the road.

Now look, obviously there's instances

where people get married overnight

and it does work out.

And praise God for that.

Okay?

I want everybody who gets married

to just work.

No matter how long it takes

or how short it was,

I wanted to just work out

and for them to be married,

you know, till death do them part

and so forth, you know.

And praise God.

But here's the thing.

Do you really want to gamble though?

You want to throw the dice on that?

You think that's going to be you?

It's better to just wait.

You know, date,

get to know each other,

make sure that you're as compatible

as you can be,

and then, you know, tie the knot.

So, you know,

don't come at me with this like,

oh, you know,

I'm in love.

I'm going to get married tomorrow.

All right.

And by the way, don't do this.

Don't say I'm going to get married next week.

Can I get some advice on what?

You already made the decision.

Why?

And I'm just telling you right now,

people do this.

People come to me.

Listen to me.

People come to me for advice

on what to do on how to get married.

I'll give them the advice.

They'll agree

and just literally do the exact opposite.

It happens all the time.

Well, people, literally this year,

I've gone through it like,

hey, what do you think about it?

And I was like, well,

and I give them the advice

that I'm giving right now.

You should wait a little bit.

You know, you don't really know this person.

Get to know them.

You know, just trust me.

He's like, oh, yeah, you're right.

And then I find out they're just,

they're about to get married.

I'm like, all right.

And it's not because they told me,

it's because another pastor told me.

I just found out like second hand.

Now, look, I just hope it works out.

I wanted to work out, amen.

But do me a favor though.

Don't come talk to me though.

Ask me for advice

if you've already predetermined

what you're going to do.

Because what that shows me is

that you're just hoping,

you were coming to me hoping

that I would tell you

what you want to hear.

And because I didn't,

then you're just not going to follow through on it.

I'm not interested in counseling people

with advice and giving counsel

and having you just lie to my face

and not follow through on that counsel.

And you know, like,

well, who are you to talk?

Well, how about the fact

that I'm happily married?

Okay, how about the fact

that I've been happily married?

I have six kids.

I'm the pastor of the church.

You know, I'm endowed with wisdom.

You know, I have the anointing

and the unction.

I have your best interest in mine.

I don't want to make your life miserable.

And how about the fact

that I've just seen many stories

where it just doesn't work out

and I'm trying to use

that accumulative experience

to help you to avoid destruction?

You're like, yeah, but I'm so chopped.

I don't even know if this is,

you know, if I'm ever going to find anybody.

You know, don't worry about that.

Don't worry about that.

You know, if you're chopped.

Okay?

You know, I knew someone was going to say,

you know, if you're chopped,

don't worry about it.

God's hand is on you.

And look, let me say this.

If you feel like you're chopped,

then you better make sure

that God's hand is on you.

I mean, you should make sure

that God's hand is on you, period.

But especially if you feel

like you're just chopped,

you're just super ugly,

you just don't think

you're ever going to find anybody.

Okay, you better make sure

you fill with the spirit.

Because the Bible says

that a prudent wife

is of the Lord, right?

He's the one that provides that.

And so, you know,

don't approach this

in a carnal manner either.

You know, and I do think it's important.

We'll get to the story in just a bit.

You know, I'll finish off in just a bit.

But this is important though.

I do need to talk about this, okay?

Listen to me.

You know, it's important

for you to work on yourself spiritually, too.

You know, I'm all for

people getting married young.

Okay?

I want my kids to get married young.

Not too young.

I'm not talking about like 17 years of age

or something like that.

I'm not talking about like frontier,

you know, American colony status,

you know, 17 years of age.

Just keep in mind, they died

like at 30, by the way, you know?

I'm talking about, you know,

maybe 20 years of age,

possibly 19,

don't get any ideas, boys, you know?

But who knows?

Maybe they mature in such a way

that at 19, they're just ready to go.

And look, I'm all for it

because then it's just like grandkids.

You know, I want to see

some grandkids, amen.

But let me say this though, you know,

take advantage of your singleness

to just like grow yourself.

Spiritually, emotionally, mentally.

And you say to yourself,

I feel like relationships haven't worked,

then work on yourself then.

Maybe God hasn't allowed relationships

to work for you,

and it's for your benefit.

Because what if you just entered

into that relationship just completely immature

and you just become the burden

on that relationship

because of your lack of spiritual maturity?

You know?

And you might be the bullet

that that person dodged.

That's true.

But here's the thing.

Why don't you just grow in the Lord,

read your Bible,

become a godly person,

learn how to have God's favor on your life,

learn how to mature spiritually,

mentally, physically, work a job,

be a blessing at your church.

Look, you know,

they used to say this in the old IFB,

and I agree with that 100%.

The man who walks with God

always reaches his destination.

So walk with God.

Read the Bible.

Serve in your church.

Pray unto the Lord.

And I'm just telling you right now,

it doesn't matter how many things

you have stacked against you.

If God is with you,

who can be against you, amen?

You know, when I was at my old church,

I had a lot of things stacked against me.

People stacked against me.

I mean, there's people who were literally,

there's assistant pastors

who were trying to discourage my wife's family

from allowing her to marry me.

Just as I was like,

I don't think this is a good idea.

And I'm thinking to myself like,

mind your business?

What is this?

People, church members, just haters, you know?

Just people who were envious.

They were haters.

They didn't like the fact that this guy

who got saved at 21 years of age,

you know, is being considered

by the pastor to marry his daughter.

So they're trying to throw salt on the game.

You know, trying to make me look bad or whatever.

And from a practical perspective,

I would think that they would have won

if I didn't have God's favor on my life.

But obviously, you know,

the heart of the king is in the hand of the Lord, amen.

And so like, I knew I didn't have favor

with a whole lot of people,

so I guess I just had to make sure

that I had favor with God.

I had to make sure that I read my Bible.

I had to make sure that I was a virtuous person.

I had to make sure that I was serving the Lord

and I had the purest motives

and that I would pray into God with importunity.

And you know what?

Here I am six kids later.

And so obviously God favored me.

His hand was upon me.

But you know what?

During that the tribulation period,

during Daniel's 70th week,

when the Antichrist was out to get me,

during that particular time,

I didn't waste that time.

He said, what did you do?

Memorized Scripture, read the Bible a lot,

prayed a lot.

Hey, there was times during that particular era

where I was just alone.

You know?

Like I didn't have church members with me.

I remember spending Christmas alone, Thanksgiving alone,

just by myself in my dorm room.

I didn't have anybody with me.

And you know what I did?

Instead of throwing a pity party,

just prayed unto the Lord, rejoiced unto the Lord,

read my Bible,

make sure I was gaining favor with God.

Because that's all I had.

And you know what?

That's all you really need, right?

Favor with God.

And you know what?

Now I got like a ton of people here that love me.

I got my family, my kids, all types of people.

I got pastor friends.

I got people in other churches that love me.

It's great.

But it's because I took advantage

during that particular era to grow myself

and not throw a pity party,

but make sure I'm reading the Word of God.

I'm praying unto the Lord.

I'm learning how to get prayers answered, amen?

So, you know, you need to make sure, young man, young lady,

that you think things through.

And don't be hasty in your decision.

You're like, yeah, but I'm nearing that time, though,

when I'm like about to be an uncle.

No, you're already a nun.

You're not near the time that you're there.

But it doesn't really matter.

Because you know what?

With God's favor, you know,

God can perform miracles, amen.

He can perform miracles.

But let me say this, men,

don't go see the,

don't go check out the daughters of the land, though.

Just because you feel like

you're not going to get anything in Israel or something.

You're like, oh, I just need to go see

the daughters of the land.

I need to go check out Instagram or something

and see if I can get just some unsafe girl

to mold her into what you're asking for problems.

Because the Bible tells us

not to be unequally yoked together with unbelievers.

Okay.

And so that was a rabbit that needed to be chased.

But, you know, I need to mention this from time to time.

And look, you know, if you are a young man,

a young lady, and you want to get married,

I want to cultivate that desire in you.

I want you to be married, too.

I think it's awesome when people get married in a church.

I think it's awesome when young people, you know,

are considering marriage when young people out there aren't.

It says a lot about you, right?

I'm just trying to help you to avoid destruction.

Because I'm just telling you right now,

you know, not everyone lives happily ever after.

That's the fact.

Let me give you the harsh reality.

Not everyone rides off into the sunset, okay?

And, you know, thankfully there's people who are,

you know, they're riding, it's not into the sunset,

and it's really hard for them,

but they're riding to the very end.

You know?

Maybe the marriage is not what they want it to be,

but they're sticking it out, and praise God for them.

I'm just trying to help you to avoid, you know,

and I'm sure they would agree with me to avoid that.

They would tell you like, yeah, listen to that.

Don't feel bad for me.

Just listen to that.

And make sure you handle it the right way,

because I'm telling you right now,

it could end horribly, okay?

And so, that's important.

Look at verse 5 here.

Or verse 4 says,

And Jacob heard that he had defiled Dinah, his daughter.

Now his sons were with his cattle in the field,

and Jacob held this peace until they were come.

And Hamor, the father of Shechem,

went out unto Jacob to commune with him.

And the sons of Jacob came out of the field

when they heard it, and the men were grieved.

And they were very wroth because he had wroth folly in Israel

in line with Jacob's daughter.

Which thing ought not to be done?

Now let me say one more thing

before we get into this actual text.

Because obviously, we're going to have young people here

who don't have parents,

they don't necessarily have someone

guiding them through those steps, right?

Now, my recommendation to you is

that you don't just become this ronin

and just try to figure things out on your own.

Because that could be bad too.

Or you might have parents that are not in church.

Maybe they're Christians.

They're not fully committed.

They don't come to church.

And they're just kind of really lenient with you.

You know, don't be the type of person

who just takes full advantage of that

to just do whatever you want.

Be a person of wisdom

and go to people of wisdom.

Go, you can come to me as your pastor.

You go to your team leader

if they're mature in that particular area

and say, hey, I would like some,

just I want to pick your brain.

You know, I want to get your take on this.

Okay?

You know, this is the situation I'm in.

What would you recommend that I do?

You know?

And if you're the type of person

who just doesn't want to follow through with that,

with that, you know, advice that it's given to you,

then this is what you say.

You say, you know, I don't 100% agree,

but I really appreciate it

and I'm really just trying to figure out what to do.

And so I'm not fully convinced

on anything right now.

You know what I mean?

And so I'm definitely going to take it into consideration.

But at the end of the day,

if you're going to come to me though,

okay, I'm going to give you sound advice,

okay, based on a lot of experience.

But go to people of experience to get that.

And you know, that's like the safest way

to go about these situations.

Okay?

And you know, I don't like playing cupid.

Okay?

I'm not the type to just, you know, like,

you know, let's get these people together,

these people together or whatever.

You know, but you know,

I can kind of guide you in the right direction though,

if you want.

I don't like being involved

in other people's drama

and what they're doing or whatever.

But if you come to me and you're just like,

I don't really have anybody else to go to,

can you advise me in what direction to go to?

You know, I am going to have your best interest in mind

and I'm going to say, yeah, that's a good idea.

I'm not going to tell you what to do in that particular area.

But this is what I would recommend for you to do.

Okay?

And so find godly leaders,

find godly people that you can confide in

and so forth.

So what we have here is obviously,

Jacob's sons are very upset with

what the son has done here with Dinah.

And it says in verse 8,

Hamor communed with them saying,

the soul of my son Shechem,

longest for your daughter,

I pray you give her,

him to wife.

Now I will say this, okay?

You know, there's two ways to go about

this particular situation.

Obviously, you know,

there is already a tie here.

Okay?

And I want to be careful.

I don't want you to misunderstand

what I'm going to say.

I believe it's wrong to marry unbelievers.

100% of the time as a Christian.

Okay?

But you also have to take into account

that if you allowed your son

or your daughter,

because of your leniency,

to date someone who is an unbeliever

and they get into a situation like this,

you know, you have two people

who are just deeply connected

at this point.

Okay?

And you kind of run the risk

if you decide to just tear them apart.

And I'm talking about like

they've already committed fornication,

they've been involved in the situation,

they have this tie one to another.

They just, they're just,

they have this commitment one toward one another.

You run the risk of kind of like

losing influence over your kids

if you just say, don't do it at all.

Okay?

You're not, it's not going to happen.

You know, obviously if you're the father

and that's what you choose to do,

I'm 100% for that.

Okay?

Just know that there's ramifications to that.

Another avenue that you can explore,

if something like this were to happen,

and nothing like this is happening right now,

but I'm going to tell you right now,

it's going to happen in the future.

Just the law of number says that.

What you could do

is just try to get Hamor's son saved.

Because if Hamor's son is just so,

just absolutely fixated

on marrying the daughter,

they've been together,

it's going to cause a major problem,

then one of the best things to do is just say,

well, let's just try to win this guy to the Lord.

Obviously, you know, I'm using this as an example here.

Win this guy to the Lord,

and yeah, you know, have them get married

so that it doesn't cause problems thereafter.

Because you may separate them

and then you know what's going to happen

is Diana's just going to sneak out again

to go see her boyfriend.

Because there's just a tie there.

Now, look folks,

the best thing to do is just,

just stay out of check on me, man.

Just avoid all of this altogether.

But if you're already in this situation,

you could do number one,

know it's not happening,

we're moving.

And just like pack up the tent

and go somewhere else

and just get them completely away from each other.

And you know what,

if that's what you choose to do,

then that's what you choose to do.

Or you can say, well,

you know, because I was so lenient

and now they're just,

there's this soul tie between,

you know, my kid and this person.

Well, you know,

let's at least try to get them saved

and you know, he seems to love her

and so then we can let them marry

and make the right decisions thereafter.

And you know what,

you don't have to do this,

but I'm just going to tell you right now,

that has greater results

than the first one, long term.

Because I'm telling you right now,

the first one can often cause resentment

and then, you know,

they can even go elope or something like that.

It's not right to do.

Just disobey you, go elope.

And then, you know,

there's just division between you,

between the parents and the child

because of this whole situation, right?

Or what you can do is get them saved,

disciple him, work with him.

They get married

and now they're integrated into the family.

You know, he can become a Christian.

You know, you can influence him

as best as you possibly can.

He loves your daughter or whatever.

And guess what happens thereafter?

They have children

and then years pass by

and you can move on from that.

But the relationship is still there.

It's not the best outcome for sure.

I'm just telling you right now,

the best thing to do

is just avoid this altogether.

I'm just kind of giving you, you know,

the worst possible case scenario

and what to do if you're in that situation.

Okay?

And I know this is going in one ear

and not the other for a lot of you,

but, you know,

maybe 20 years from now

you're going to be like,

hey, what was that one thing you said?

You know?

Because now it's like relevant to me or something.

Hopefully not,

but I'm just saying this is,

it's a thing that happens sometimes.

Okay?

And so, you know,

you have Jacob's sons

coming up with this, you know,

deceitful plan

and they're basically saying like,

hey, you know,

you can have our sister

and we'll marry in together or whatever,

but you have to be circumcised.

This is the condition that you have.

Okay?

And they're not being honest here

because they're just,

they're not trying to circumcise them

so that they can be a part of Israel.

They're trying to do it because they're wimps

and they can't fight them

when they're injured.

Right?

They're recovering from their circumcision or whatever

and so they're trying to get the drop on them basically.

Okay?

And so, you know,

you have Shekham going to his father

and he's just like, you know,

I want to have this woman,

I want to marry her and so forth.

Let's skip down to verse number 15 here.

It says,

but in this will we consent unto you

if you will be as we be

that every male of you be circumcised,

then we will give our daughters unto you

and we will take your daughters to us

and we will dwell with you

and we will become one people.

Now, I don't think that's a good idea either though.

You know what I mean?

Like, hey, let's just mix them together

and we'll just be one big happy family or whatever.

Nah, just take Shekham.

You know what I mean?

Just try to work with them

or try to win the other people to the Lord.

But here's the thing.

The answer is not let's just kill them.

Okay?

Which is what happens.

Simeon and Levi end up murdering the entire people here.

Very excessive and very wrong.

Okay?

Now, I believe 100%

that they were wrong in doing this.

They're very excessive.

God doesn't even institute that type of punishment for fornication.

They're being very, very excessive.

But I will say this though.

Even though it is excessive, unwarranted, wrong, sinful,

it doesn't mean people won't do it.

So you think to yourself,

well, I'm gonna do it,

but nothing's gonna happen to me

because that would be wrong.

Yeah, it would be wrong,

but you know there's some crazy people out there though.

And you know what?

There might be a dad out there that will kill you

if you commit fornication with his daughter or something.

It'll be wrong, but you think he cares?

Yeah, but it's still wrong.

I agree for sure.

But you know what?

When you're dead, it doesn't really matter.

Go ahead and say, hey, this is wrong as he's killing you.

Hey, this isn't biblical.

You shouldn't be doing this.

Oh, okay.

One more time, you know?

And just slaying them.

What I'm telling you is that I get it.

These things are wrong,

and Levi and Simeon are, you know,

they're enacting godless vengeance

for this whole situation.

And it's just like, man, you guys are overkill, pun intended.

You're just like, you're overkill.

You're literally wiping out the entire family

just because someone committed fornication with your sister.

Why didn't you have that same zeal in accompanying your sister

when she went to go see the daughters of the land?

But now, you know, you just murdered a bunch of people

over this particular sin.

It's wrong.

You know, you guys just exaggerated.

And you know what?

Again, I don't agree with it.

But I'm just telling you right now,

I've grown up with people

who would be excessive about certain punishments.

People think it was right or wrong.

You know, you have people who, like, adultery is committed.

You just never know.

The husband might take the life of both his wife

and the guy she's committing adultery with.

It's not right for him to do that.

It's not right, but guess what?

It does happen now, doesn't it?

So you know what?

Before you decide to get involved

and commit fornication and commit sins that are wrong,

and you think to yourself,

well, yeah, fornication is wrong,

but it's not worthy of death.

True.

But you know what?

According to the person who might enact vengeance upon you,

they may not have that same standard.

You know, you just never know.

You might be facing the bottom of a shotgun.

And you go ahead and quote scripture

and see how that does for you.

You know, hey, this is not worthy of death.

You know, and you know, you'll be in heaven.

Shortly thereafter.

And we're like, man, well, that was a little excessive.

Well, they kind of overreacted a little bit.

Yeah.

But I'm just trying to, like,

I'm trying to appeal to you to understand that,

you know, just because this action was excessive

doesn't mean that it's not going to happen.

And look, you know, I grew up, you know, around people

that if their sister was defiled,

and by the way, when it says defiled, it doesn't mean raped.

Sometimes people have this wrong interpretation of the scripture

that it means like he raped her.

No, it means that they committed fornication.

You know, I grew up with people who were just like,

you know, they defiled the sister,

and they go and whooped the guy.

They beat him down hard.

Okay?

And, you know, overkill, and, you know,

beat him to a bloody pulp.

It wasn't right, but it doesn't matter.

They don't care if it's right or wrong.

And the heat of the moment,

they're going to whoop someone's behind.

Got to pause a little bit.

You know?

And that's what's going to happen.

You understand?

And so, yeah, this demonstrates the excessiveness.

You know, this is Simeon being,

having zeal without knowledge.

And of course, it pictures Levi,

Levi pictures the Old Testament law

because, you know, it slays the person, right?

The law, that's what the law does.

But this is also demonstrating,

it should be a principle to you and to me,

that don't think that,

oh, I'm going to commit this sin.

I'm going to do this,

because the consequence to this is not as severe.

What's going to happen?

I'm going to get kicked out for a little bit.

I could just repent.

You don't know what consequences

may come with your actions.

You just never know.

Why?

Because you could actually pay more

than what you wanted to pay.

Understand?

And so, you know, yeah, they were excessive.

And man, that sucks to die.

You get circumcised.

You're already in, and then you just,

you just get killed.

And you didn't even get a chance to get married.

That's embarrassing.

That sucks.

Think about that.

I think about that.

You know, he's like,

let's do it guys, let's all get circumcised

so I can get married.

And then, you know, he does it

and here comes Simeon and Levi,

like, what are you doing with that sword?

What's up?

What's going on?

And just slays everyone.

Excessive, yes, but you know what?

This is exactly what happens

when you're dealing with people

who don't care about a standard

and they're at the heat of the moment.

I mean, there's people in this world

that will shoot you for just the dumbest stuff.

They will take your life for road rage.

That's a fact.

They will beat you down to a bloody pulp.

They will kill you with their bare hands

just for looking at them cock-eyed.

I promise you that.

There's people in this world that are like that.

It doesn't make you right,

but let me just tell you right now,

it does happen.

And so, you know, this is what took place.

It says in verse, let's skip down to verse number 25.

It says,

And it came to pass on the third day

when they were sore

that two of the sons of Jacob, Simeon and Levi,

Dinah's brother, took each man his sword

and came upon the city boldly.

Yeah, you're real bold.

And slew all the males

and they slew Hamor and Shechem his son

with the edge of the sword

and took Dinah out of the Shechem's house

and went out.

And the sons of Jacob came upon the slain

and spoiled the city

because they had defiled their sister.

They took their sheep and their oxen,

their asses and that which was in the city

and that which was in the field

and all their wealth and all their little ones

and their wives took they captive

and spoiled even all that was in the house.

Now, you know, this is why

Jacob later on calls them instruments of cruelty.

And we could possibly infer into the text

that maybe one of the reasons they wanted to kill

these people is not for Dinah's

because they wanted all the other stuff.

They wanted the spoils of the land, right?

We don't know that.

We could just infer based upon what we're looking at

here in the text.

It says in verse 30,

in Jacob said to Simeon and Levi,

ye have troubled me to make me

to stink among the inhabitants of the land,

among the Canaanites and the Parasites

and I, being few in number,

they shall gather themselves together against me

and slay me

and I shall be destroyed I

and my house.

So Jacob is concerned with this reputation here.

He's just like,

you're making me look bad before everyone

by killing all these guys or whatever.

You're making me stink.

But here's the thing.

Obviously, God is still with Jacob.

He's still with Israel

and he's still striking fear

into the hearts of the people in the area.

But, you know, at the same time,

yeah, this is a bad testimony.

And let me just say this.

You know, part of what we can learn

from this passage of Scripture

is to make sure that you control your temper.

You understand?

If you're the type of person

that is just super angry

or you're just a super emotional person

that makes hasty decisions,

such as beating someone down,

such as, you know,

shooting someone,

you just out of anger

end up striking someone

because you can't control your temper,

you know, you can become a bad testimony.

You could be a person.

You're basically making God look bad.

Especially if they know that you're a Christian.

And so be a person

who has their temper under control.

And of course, I'm preaching to myself

because, you know,

that's something that I believe I struggle with.

That's like my best-setting sin

is anger, wrath, and malice.

You know, I have to put these things off of me

because that's just a sin that I struggle with.

You know?

I'm just a naturally angry person

and I can get very angry with people.

Maybe it's just the way I grew up.

But, you know, I have to make sure

that I am slow to anger, right?

That I'm filled with the spirit

that I have rule over on my own spirit

because at the end of the day

the consequences can be deadly.

And so before you decide to give

the guy who cut you off,

you know, telling him that he's number one

or whatever

and using both hands or whatever

or speeding up and cutting him off,

you know, think about this story

because at the end of the day

you could end up doing something

that can cause you your life.

You know?

And look, we've all done it

where someone cuts us off

and then we just drive up

and we just want to look at them.

I've done it.

I probably will still do it.

You know?

And luckily 99.9% of the time

it's a woman

or it's like 99% of the time

it's an Asian woman

and it's just like

or 99.9% of the time

it's an elderly Asian woman.

So how do you know that?

The long visor,

the glove on the left hand

or whatever so she doesn't get

tanned and burned up or whatever.

Y'all know what I'm talking about.

You know, I'm talking about

the huge visor, right?

You know?

But, you know, you just never know.

You got to be careful with road rage

because it can cause you your life.

Okay?

You know, maybe that

Chinese ladies pack

and you just never know.

You know what I mean?

The point being here is,

you know, what does this story teach us?

Well, it teaches us that

you know, we as parents

need to make sure that when God tells us

to go to Bethel, you just go to Bethel

because you can open up an entire can

of worms by going to Sheikham instead.

Partial obedience can cause a lot of problems.

It's also teaching us that, you know,

we need to make sure we supervise our children.

Don't be a helicopter, okay?

And don't keep your kids in a bubble

or something like that

where every time they fall down

and scrape their leg, you're just like,

oh, they're going to die.

You know, let them toughen up a little bit.

They're going to be fine.

You know, you need to make sure

that you have a balance in that area, okay?

You know, but you know, make sure

you pay attention to who your kids

are hanging around with

and monitor that.

Okay?

Monitor who they're talking to.

You better monitor these cousins.

You better monitor these uncles.

You better monitor these neighbors.

Better monitor whatever

because you just never know.

And so you're like, well, you know,

people are going to criticize me

if I'm like that or it may be

excessive in some people's eyes.

Yeah, but those same people

are not going to be there for you

when everything's just completely falling apart

and you're left out to pick up the pieces.

They're not going to help you out.

So who gives a rip what they say?

Okay?

Because I'm dad.

My wife's the mom.

We bear the brunt of the work here.

And so, you know,

we just need to block all that out

and recognize, no, you know,

let me be criticized,

but I'm just going to go ahead

and do my best to raise my kids

in this manner

and protect who they're befriending,

protect them from bad associations

because I don't want them

to get some worldly appetite

to develop these relationships

that I don't approve of

and it can become like a dino situation.

That's right.

Father, we thank you so much for your word

and thank you for the story here.

Help us as your people, as parents, Lord,

to do the best that we can

to protect our kids from worldly influences,

influences from unsafe family members

or even neighbors, Lord,

and sometimes even just other Christians.

Help us to have the discernment to do so.

I pray that you be with my cousin, Lord Oscar,

and help him to have ears to hear

and may you fill me with your spirit

to preach the gospel to him.

Lord, I do pray that he gets saved

and Lord, may you be with his family,

at least help me to get them saved as well

and please use me in a great way to do so.

Lord, I want to see my cousin in heaven

and it breaks my heart that he's dying

and I just pray you bless us

as we go on our way

in Jesus' name we pray. Amen.