The Ten Commandments Lesson 5: Giving Mom and Dad Their Due | Devin LaBay

On September the 16th, 2001, church attendance increased by 25%.

And it held steady there until the new year.

And then it tapered back down to where it was before September the 11th.

You know, it's amazing to me how tragedies like that that we mark the anniversary of this week.

The impact can only last so long until we just go right back to where we were.

Everybody of a certain age here this morning joining us online over in 316, you know where you were.

You know exactly what you were doing at that moment.

I was shopping for a vehicle.

I had twin boys that were five, no, six days old.

And a four-year-old girl.

And a two-year-old girl.

That makes four under the age of five.

Still got my hair.

And I'm still married.

But I can remember we Cammy and I had just, I mean, within the last six, you know, well, within the last um, you know, 18 months or so, we had bought uh something I wanted.

We bought a Jeep Cherokee, man.

It was four-wheel drive, it had the skid plates, it had everything.

You could go anywhere in that thing.

But you couldn't put four car seats in it.

And so here I am sitting in a parking lot uh looking at a van.

I was not going to go the minivan route, I just couldn't do it.

I was looking on one of them big old monster van things, and I'm kicking the tires and just waiting for some eager salesman to come flying across the parking lot, Barry.

And they never came.

And I'm like, this is weird.

I'm I've kicked every tire.

I mean, I've crawled up underneath it.

I mean, I'm making it so obvious that I'm not just here to browse, I'm here to make a major purchase.

Finally, this guy comes running across the parking lot and about halfway to me.

He says, Do you know what's going on?

I said, Yeah, man, I'm trying to buy a vehicle.

Would you like to sell me one?

He said, No, no, no, you don't get it.

We're under attack.

And I thought, in Russellville, Arkansas, we're under attack.

I was a youth minister at that time, Chase.

And um so I said, Well, I guess I ain't gonna buy a vehicle today.

He said, No, no, no, no, I can go back and watch what's going on.

And so anyway, I got into my vehicle and and I drove uh to pick up our girls from uh from preschool at First Baptist Church.

And as I'm waiting there silently with other parents waiting to pick up their kids, and we're getting all the messages about what had happened, it suddenly dawned on me.

We live in a town that has a nuclear power plant in it, and I thought, wow, this is serious.

And you all have your story.

That's my story from that day.

But what has stuck with me for so long is how that tragedy and others like it can drive us to God for a time, and then we just slip right back into what we were doing before.

This week is is being a week of remembrance for all of us as to how important life is and how important our family is.

Because while I was waiting for my daughters to come out and thinking about the boys at home, I'm thinking I want my children to grow up in a better world.

And unless I am the parent that I need to be, a parent that is worthy of their honor and worthy of their respect, that they would honor me, then I need to make sure that I do the things that I need to do, that God has commanded me to do.

This morning we're going to continue in our in our study of the Ten Commandments.

And we move into this commandment, honor your father and your mother.

And, you know, it's easy just to graze over that and say, okay, I got it, check and move on.

But really, there's more to it than that.

And I think we've discovered in our study of the Ten Commandments so far that there's a lot more there than what we picked up when we were little kids.

These are God's sayings of holy living to us.

And so as we continue in our study, let's try to keep that in mind.

But before we do continue in our study this morning, let's let's join together in prayer and please invite the Spirit to bless our message this morning.

Will you please join me?

Our Lord and our God, you're so incredibly loving to us, and you you have such mercy and such patience for us in spite of ourselves.

We make mistakes daily that transgress what you've laid out for us here in Exodus chapter 20, to one degree or another.

Exodus 20 · chapter mention

We're flawed.

But praise be to your name that through the blood of Jesus Christ we're saved.

Thank you for filling the gap and covering our sins.

This morning, as we look at the fifth commandment, honor your father and your mother, mother.

Help us to see this from a different perspective.

Help us to see more fully what this means and to embrace it and to enact it in our lives and to share it and pass it on to our children.

So this world can be a better place.

Spirit, I pray that this message this morning is yours, that you will use me as your voice in spite of my flaws to communicate your message, and that hearts and minds will be open to receive it.

Lord, we we love you so much, but our love does not compare to your love for us because you gave the very best of the best for us.

And we offer this prayer together in the name of your Son, our Lord, and our King Jesus Christ.

Amen.

Family, the first four commandments that we have studied together have one thing in common.

They all focus on our relationship with God.

But as we shift gears and as we move into the fifth commandment this morning, we see that the focus changes.

And while the first four commandments are upward in focus, what we see as we move into the fifth commandment and beyond, that they are more outwardly focused to those around us.

The first four commandments are more central and vertical in relation to God, whereas the last six are more peripheral, they're more horizontal regarding our fellow man.

And so as we move outward from the central figure in our lives, which is the Lord God Almighty, and begin to focus outward, naturally, our focus in the fifth commandment comes to rest on our parents.

Because outside of God, our parents are and should be the greatest influence in our life.

Family, the fifth commandment is important.

And I think what we're going to see this morning is not only is it important, but it's also relevant for successful Christian living.

Perhaps more now than at any other time.

Today, we're living in what many have coined as the youth culture.

And what that means is that being young or being viewed as being young is considered to be the most desirable thing, and you can see it everywhere.

Everywhere in our society.

Youthful energy, youthful ideas, and youthful style is where everyone's focus seems to be.

Can't miss it.

Let's face it, man.

Youth sells.

It sells well.

We're capitalizing on it.

It appears that the majority in our culture today, to one degree or another, is buying into it.

In our culture, the approach toward aging is a don't go there, if at all possible approach.

But how does that line up with the scriptures?

How does that square with the word of God?

Family, the Bible tells us that those who are older than us are to be honored, their wisdom valued, their experience treasured.

And this is in very sharp contrast to the culture that we're living in today.

So with that in mind, church, making a reaffirmation of the fifth commandment is both relevant and necessary.

In Exodus chapter 20, verse 12, that Randy read just a moment ago, we see the commandment from God.

Exodus 20:12

It's very clear.

You really can't miss it.

His commandment is very clear and to the point.

He says, Honor your father and your mother so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.

He's speaking to the people of Israel at that moment.

And family, in this commandment, I believe that there are some principles that we should be clearly able to see.

But you know what?

Many times we ignore them.

First, respect for authority is and must be the foundation of society.

So many people ask the question why is that so important?

What's the big deal with that?

Why is that so important?

Why do I have to listen to my parents?

Why do I have to respect my teachers?

Why do I have to obey the law?

Why do I have to honor my spouse?

Those are questions that people are asking and have been asking for a long time.

In direct challenge to the fifth commandment.

Church, God gives us the reason for the fifth commandment right after he gives the commandment.

Look at what he says.

So that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.

In Deuteronomy chapter 5, church, we see another listing of the Ten Commandments.

Deuteronomy 5 · chapter mention

I don't know if you were aware of that or not.

And in verse 16 of chapter 5, we see that we should honor our father and honor our mother so that our days may be prolonged and so that it may go well with us.

Now take a good look at that.

Look at what God says to the people of Israel then, and to you and I this morning, and let it soak in for just a minute.

Let that soak in.

Family, that is a commandment with a promise.

You see it?

If you've ever wondered why honoring and respecting our parents is a big deal, church the Lord lays it out right there.

And God says that it can positively impact the rest of our life.

And so here's the thing what God wants us to hear, and what God wants us to understand then and especially now is that our future, our health, and our success as His people.

Is it me moving around or just talking?

Well, I'm gonna keep on talking.

Let me reemphasize that point.

What we need to understand, church, and what we need to hear this morning, especially today, is that our future, our health, and our success as his people is rooted and nurtured in the strength of our families.

Do not miss that.

If you walk out of here today with nothing else, do not miss that point right there.

Church, what God wants to prevent is what we clearly see in our culture today, and that is the disintegration of the biblical family model.

And that right there is at the core of what the fifth commandment is all about.

Honor your father and your mother.

The reason why God makes this commandment and why we need to heed it, we need to take it seriously, is because when the biblical family breaks down, then the fabric of society begins to unravel.

And I believe we're seeing it.

And have been for quite some time.

Begins to unravel and biblical family values disappear.

Church knowing this commandment and obeying this commandment is imperative.

It is imperative for the health and the survival of our society.

Respect for authority doesn't begin on page two of the student handbook at school.

Respect for authority does not begin with legislation on Capitol Hill.

Respect for authority, which is the precondition for world order, begins in the home.

That's the way that God intended it.

But that's not what we see happening as it should be.

It begins by honoring our father and honoring our mother, and it grows outwardly from there.

It grows outward to teachers, officers of the law, and other people in positions of authority.

It starts in the home.

Family, if you were to trace most of the problems that we're dealing with in our society back to their source, it would lead you right back to a lack of observance of the fifth commandment.

It would lead you back to the home.

So when God says honor our father and our mother, what does he mean when he says that?

What does he mean when he uses that word that is translated into our English Bible as honor?

What does that mean?

The word that's used there in the Hebrew means to be heavy or to have added weight to it.

And what that means is that as far as the Bible is concerned, as far as God is concerned, of all the influences that you and I have in our life, our parents are to be given great weight.

Church, the Lord has set our parents over us from the time we're born until the time that we leave home.

And during that time, during that time, that we live and prosper in our adult life as a result of their care in the home, there's four things, family, that we owe our parents out of love and respect for the Lord.

We owe them honor, we owe them appreciation, we owe them obedience, and we owe them respect.

Family, if we're going to treat our parents with the honor that is due to them as the Lord has commanded us, then we must always speak to them and about them in a way that brings them honor and respect.

Don't miss that.

After several years of youth ministry and ministry and watching television and how it's changed over the years growing up and being around other families and just life experience in general, one thing that I have come to understand, family, is that kids don't always honor their parents as they should when they talk to them and when they talk about them to others.

As a society, with regard to the role of mom and dad, we've allowed the world to take something very serious and make it trivial, if not laughable.

Now I'm gonna date myself with what I'm about to say, because I don't watch much TV anymore.

All right?

But think about it for a second.

If Ray Baron from Everybody Loves Raymond was your father, could you respect him?

If any of the desperate housewives was your mother, could you respect her?

And yet this is the world's promotion of fathers and mothers.

Fathers who don't have a clue and mothers who don't have any scruples whatsoever.

I understand when kids think their parents are goofy because dad mows the yard in dress socks and shorts, and mom thinks that airpods have something to do with the space program.

But here's the deal God hasn't commanded parents to be cool.

Everybody's parents are goofy when you're growing up.

Let me tell you something.

Over the years, I've counseled so many teens about their relationship with their parents because their parents are trying to be just like them.

They're trying to act like them, they're trying to dress like them, they're trying to hang out with them as one of their buddies or as their bestie.

And their sons and their daughters are saying, look, I can't deal with this anymore.

I just want to live my own life.

Why can't my dad just be a regular goofy dad and my mom be a regular, just kind of out of touch mom?

And it's done its damage because so many parents have tried to live vicariously through their kids.

Go to any Pee-wee football game, and you'll see exactly what I'm talking about.

You got dads out there that couldn't cut it, they're trying to do it through their kid.

You know.

Being a good parent is important, but it's also about realizing where we are in our station of life, in our purpose.

God hasn't commanded parents to be cool.

He's commanded them to love their children the best that they can and to nurture them in his word and admonition.

This is worthy of honor.

Family, because of this, we should always refer to our parents in a positive light rather than a derogatory light.

Not just because we love them, but most importantly because we love the Lord and because he's commanded it.

Also, if we're going to give mom and dad their due, we must show them our appreciation for what they've contributed to our life.

Church, our parents provide for our material needs.

They provide food, they provide clothing, they provide a roof over our head, but they also provide the emotional needs that we have through their encouragement.

But most importantly, most importantly, they provide for our spiritual needs by making sure that we're taught God's word and learn positive values.

The reality is that most of us don't fully realize that until we're a lot older.

We have a family of our own.

Or sadly, we don't get it figured out until our parents are gone.

Instead, when we're young, we tend to focus on what they didn't buy us rather than what they did.

We focus on what they wouldn't let us do rather than what they encouraged us to do.

We focus on their quirks rather than their character.

And family, it's important that we appreciate our parents.

And it's also important that we obey our parents.

You know, obedience is a lot simpler than we make it out to be.

Obedience means doing what our parents tell us without compromise and without complaint.

As children living in our parents' home and under our parents' care, it's important that we trust and obey our parents.

Without question, there's going to be disagreements about the rules.

If there isn't, then I would say you probably don't live in a normal household.

There's going to be disagreements about the rules that our parents make, but what we don't always see and what we don't always understand is that the rules have a purpose.

The rules have a purpose, and that purpose is to protect us and to teach us the things that we don't understand yet.

Church, how does a child learn not to touch the hot stove?

They either obey, no, don't touch that, or they learn the hard way by burning their fingers.

How does a child learn that they don't need to eat all the chocolate that they can because they'll get a stomach ache?

They're either going to learn by obeying, no, you don't need to eat all that chocolate, son, or they're going to wharf it all down and get the stomach ache anyway.

Here's one.

How does your child learn to come in before curfew?

Either by obeying, no, you can't stay out past curfew or having to call their parents to come and pick them up at the police station after curfew.

You know, it's important to obey our parents because the rules they make are designed to protect us and to teach us the things that we don't understand without having to worry about getting hurt or getting into trouble.

One final way that we honor our parents is by respecting them at every stage of our life and their life.

You know, we all have memories.

Memories of our parents taking care of us, providing for us, teaching us and loving us.

So there comes a time.

There comes a time when our relationship with our parents starts to change.

It's when they start treating us like a grown-up.

You remember that?

Remember when your mom and dad started treating you like a grown-up?

When we talk, it's more of a conversation rather than a lecture or a parental infomercial.

It's a time of mutual respect for one another.

And it occurs at different times and different ages for different people.

I can remember with my dad, when I was growing up, dad would say to me, son, you need to do this or you need to do that.

That was a very nice way of saying, you're going to do what I'm telling you to do.

Son, you need to do this before I get home from work today.

It was going to get done.

I can promise you that.

But there came a time, and I can remember the last time, when my dad came to me after I hadn't done so hot in college, and he said, son, you need to make a decision today.

Army, Navy, Air Force, or Marines.

I'll be home at 6:15.

Make a decision.

That's the day I enlisted in the Air Force.

I was not going to test that one.

You need to do this.

That's the last time my dad ever said that to me.

After that, dad would say, son, if I were you, this is what I'd do.

It was a change.

Change in my life, a change in his life.

But you know what?

There also comes a time when the relationship changes again.

And now it's us, the children, lovingly asking the questions to get the information that we need for their best interests.

And regardless of the changes in the parent-child relationship that naturally come, it is a part of life.

A healthy respect for our parents must be maintained through all the stages of life.

And not only for our older parents, family, but for our elders in the church as well.

Listen to what Paul writes to Timothy in 1 Timothy 5, verses 1 to 5.

1 Timothy 5:1–5

He says, Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father.

Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters with absolute purity.

Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need.

But if a widow has children or grandchildren, they should learn, first of all, to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God.

If anyone does not provide for his relatives and especially for his immediate family, he is denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

Family, take a good look at that.

Consider what Paul says there.

Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him, encourage him, as if he were your father.

Church, it's interesting that Paul says this to Timothy.

Because if you will remember, we know practically nothing about Timothy's father from the scriptures.

Acts chapter 16, verse 1 tells us that he was Greek, but otherwise we don't know anything about Timothy's dad.

Acts 16:1

Or if he was even in the picture.

The point that Paul makes is that respect in relationships is important.

Treating older men as fathers and older women as mothers, younger men as little brothers, and younger women as little sisters is important.

And the reason why it is so important, family, is because when we lose the proper respect for one another in the church, the fabric of the church and society begins to unravel.

And we can clearly see it in the effects of our world today.

Family, in a world where the youth culture and the quest to act young in an ever-growing way, there's one thing that we need to be reminded of.

With age comes wisdom.

Embrace your age.

Embrace the stage of life that you're in.

Church, giving mom and dad their due is important.

Honoring father and mother is important.

Respecting authority is important, not because of the power that they have in their position of authority, but because we love them.

And because God has commanded it.

And if we love the Lord, then we will obey him.

And like all of the commandments so far, the second, the third, the fourth, and now the fifth commandment, it all goes back to the first commandment.

You shall have no other gods before me.

This morning, I don't know how your relationship is with your parents.

I can tell you this morning, I can testify to you that I can't imagine having a better relationship with my parents than I did.

I'm blessed.

But I've known and I've counseled with people over the years that they didn't have that blessing than I did.

And you may be going through something right now.

It could be a lot of things.

It could be kids dealing with mom and dad at home.

It could be parents having relational problems with their children.

It could be at a different stage of life where now you're the caregiver and you're trying to make those decisions for your parents to nurture them out of love and respect for them because they nurtured you and you're struggling with it.

It's a struggle.

If you have a struggle in this relationship, you don't need to bear that burden by yourself.

I can promise you right now, there's somebody here that has gone through or is currently going through what you are dealing with.

Of our five shepherds and myself and Chase, chances are pretty good.

We've dealt with it ourselves, and we want to help you carry that burden.

And so the shepherds will be here at the front.

I will be at the front to welcome you, to love you, to receive you, and to encourage you.

But let me just emphasize this you don't have to walk an aisle for that.

But you don't need to struggle with it either.

Find someone.

Find one of your shepherds.

Find me, find Chase, or find someone that you connect with.