Staying in an Abusive Marriage SEPTEMBER 16, 2026 Pastor Steven L. Anderson

Man, the title of my sermon this evening is,

Staying in an Abusive Marriage.

Staying in an Abusive Marriage.

And you say, Pastor Harrison,

are you saying that someone should stay

in an Abusive Marriage?

No, I'm not saying that.

I'm saying that they must stay in an Abusive Marriage.

I'm saying that they have to stay in an Abusive Marriage.

Why?

Because God's commandments aren't optional.

The Bible is not a smorgasbord

where you pick and choose the parts that you want to obey

and the parts that you don't want to obey.

And, you know, at the end of the day,

Jesus said if you love me, keep my commandments.

He didn't say keep my suggestions, okay?

Now, the reason that I'm preaching on this tonight

is that over the last couple of days,

something that I preached a little over a year ago

has just been going absolutely viral online.

There was a post on X that had like 3.2 million views

and then it was getting just tons of views on Facebook

and other platforms and all over the place.

And, you know, I was reading through the comments

and as I was going through the comments,

I kept seeing like certain themes of comments

because there's too many comments to read them all,

literally thousands of them.

Obviously overwhelmingly negative

because people are stupid.

But as I was going through it,

there was just a theme that just keeps coming up,

just everybody's just like,

you don't have to stay in an abusive marriage.

God doesn't want you to stay in abusive.

You don't have to stay in abusive.

If there's any abuse, you have the right to leave.

You know, like just anything just nullifies your marriage

vows if there's any abuse or whatever.

It was just over and over again.

And so I realized that one of the biggest things

that was driving people's angry reaction to my preaching

was the fact that they're all justifying divorce

and just justifying leaving your spouse.

And so I was just,

it's always shocking to me when these so-called Christians

don't care at all what the Bible says.

And you read the comments,

like these people don't care what the Bible says.

It's all just emotion driven.

It's not driven by actual doctrine from the word of God.

There's also overwhelmingly female in the comment section

because of the fact that let's face it,

females tend to be more emotional creatures than males.

You know, when it comes to men,

they're usually a little bit more cold

and collected about these things.

And this is part of the reason why we need a church

that is run by men, okay?

That's what the Bible says.

And look, there's nothing against women.

Obviously we love women,

but the Bible does say that the woman

should not be in authority in the church

because Adam was not deceived,

but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.

It's very clear.

So let's get into the Bible tonight.

I want you to flip a couple of pages to the right

in your Bible to Matthew chapter five

because this subject could not be any more clear in the Bible.

I mean, Jesus makes these statements

like every which way he could possibly make them.

He says them forward, he says them backward.

I mean, he says it every possible way

that it's mind-blowing that people don't get

what he's saying.

So look at Matthew chapter five, verse 31.

It says,

I mean, that's the thought out there

in the mainstream world at that time.

Hey, if you're going to divorce your wife,

you're going to put away your wife,

you got to give her a bill of divorce, man.

You got to do it legally.

But Jesus says I say unto you

that whosoever shall put away his wife

saving for the cause of fornication

causes her to commit adultery

and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced,

commit adultery.

He's saying, look, the conventional wisdom is,

well, if you're going to put away your wife,

give her a writing of divorce,

but I'm saying if you put away your wife,

unless it's for the cause of fornication,

you're causing her to commit adultery.

And if you marry her that's divorced

or committing adultery, really clear, okay?

Now you say, well, yeah, but you know,

what if he slaps her?

What if she slaps him?

Look, is that the exception that's given here?

I mean, Jesus even does bring up an exception

and that's not it.

It has nothing to do with abuse or these other situations.

The exception that's clearly given is fornication.

Now let me say this, fornication is not adultery.

Is there not the same thing?

Okay, adultery takes place after you're married,

fornication takes place before you're married, okay?

So if you would, go back to Matthew chapter one.

And again, we're reading the Bible in context.

This passage comes from Matthew chapter five

and one thing that comes before Matthew chapter five

is Matthew chapter one.

And you know what comes before Matthew chapter one

is the Old Testament, okay?

So let's see what Matthew chapter one says

because we actually have a perfect example

of a man being justified for divorcing his wife

because of fornication.

Like, showing that this was the right thing to do

in that situation.

It says in chapter one, verse 18,

now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise.

When as his mother Mary was a spouse to Joseph,

before they came together, she was found with child,

with child means pregnant.

She was found to be pregnant.

She was found with child of the Holy Ghost.

Then Joseph, her husband, watched this, being a just man.

So is he doing right or wrong?

He's doing right.

Because he's a just man, he was minded

to put her away privately.

He said, and not wanting to make her a public example,

he was minded to put her away privately.

But while he thought on these things,

behold the angel of the Lord appeared under him in a dream

saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not

to take unto thee, marry thy wife,

for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost.

So here's the thing, you gotta put yourself in Joseph's shoes.

Joseph has espoused this woman to be his wife.

So it's like the legal contract has been drawn

but what's missing is that the marriage

has not yet been consummated.

Before they came together,

she was found with child of the Holy Ghost.

So obviously, the marriage is not really totally complete

until they actually come together

and physically have that union.

And before that happened, she's found to be pregnant.

So what's going through Joseph's mind?

The same thing that would be going through any guy's mind.

He's like, well, I know I haven't been physical with her

and so she must have committed fornication

because if my espoused wife,

whom I've not yet consummated with yet is already pregnant,

then it's not me, it must be some other guy.

So he believes that she has committed fornication

and so what is he going to do?

He is going to put her away,

which the Bible used the terms put away

and divorce synonymously.

So he's going to divorce her

because he believes that she has committed fornication.

Isn't that the one thing that Jesus said was acceptable?

He said, well, if you put away your wife

because of fornication, that's acceptable.

But if it's not for fornication,

then you're causing her to commit adultery and whatever.

So people will substitute something else here

like adultery or sexual immorality,

but that's not what it says.

It says fornication and it's no coincidence

that in the exact same book of the Bible,

we have an exact example of that in Matthew chapter one

setting us up to understand what it's even saying

in Matthew chapter five, crystal clear.

Now flip over if you would to Matthew chapter 19.

Matthew 19 · chapter mention

Matthew chapter 19.

Matthew 19 · chapter mention

And in Matthew chapter 19, this subject comes up again,

Matthew 19 · chapter mention

same book of the Bible, same context.

We've already read chapter one.

We've already read chapter five.

So we already kind of know where this is going.

Look at Matthew chapter 19 verse three.

Matthew 19 · chapter mention

It says the Pharisees also came on him,

tempting him and sang on him.

Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?

Meaning, hey, can we have that?

1969, California, no fault divorce law.

And we can just get divorced because, right?

The Soviet Union came out with it in 69.

California came out with it shortly thereafter.

Then the whole United States had it

in a very short time by like what, 1970 or whatever.

And so, hey, can we just divorce our wives

for every cause?

He answered and said to them, verse four,

have you not read that he which made them at the beginning

made them male and female and said for this cause

shall a man leave his father and mother

and shall cleave to his wife

and they twain shall be one flesh.

Wherefore there are no more twain but one flesh.

What therefore God has joined together,

let not man put asunder.

So look, question is asked.

Can a man put away his wife for every cause?

And he says, you know what?

You need to go back and read the Bible

and understand that God's plan is for a man

and a woman to become one flesh

and to cleave to each other

and what God has joined together,

let not man put asunder.

Now, if the Pharisees were righteous,

you know what they would have done at that point?

They would have said, yes, sir.

And just walked away.

But instead they began to argue with him.

They're wrong.

They're wicked.

They wanna justify divorce.

So then they argue with him and they say,

well, why, verse seven,

did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement

and to put her away?

So they're basically trying to accuse him

of contradicting the Bible.

Like, you're contradicting what Moses said.

If you're right, well, then why did Moses command

to give her writing of divorcement and to put her away?

Verse eight, he saved unto them,

Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts,

suffered you to put away your wives,

but from the beginning it was not so.

And I say unto you,

whosoever shall put away his wife,

accept it be for fornication,

and shall marry another,

commit it adultery,

and whoso merrieth her which is put away,

doth commit adultery.

Now, let's go back to that law

where Moses instituted divorce.

It's Deuteronomy 24.

So let's flip over to our Bibles to Deuteronomy 24,

because again, remember,

the modern version crowd is twisting this

and saying, oh, it's not fornication, it's adultery.

Well, it's a different Greek word.

There's a Greek word for fornication.

There's a Greek word for adultery.

Okay, the King James is translating.

The one is adultery, the one is fornication.

They're different words in English.

They're different words in Greek.

They're just different words.

But people are trying to sub in adultery here

or just have this anachronistic

kind of broad category of sexual immorality,

which can kind of just mean whatever you want it to mean.

Kind of just means whatever people want,

and it's super subjective, it's super confusing.

It's like moral sin, immorality or whatever.

But let's look at the law that Jesus is talking about

and that the Pharisees are talking about.

Look at Deuteronomy 24, verse one.

It says, when a man had taken a wife and married her,

and it came to pass that she find no favor in his eyes,

but it doesn't stop there.

It gives a very specific reason why she doesn't,

it's not saying, hey, he just doesn't like her.

It says she find no favor in his eyes.

Why?

Because he had found some uncleanness in her.

That's a very specific reason he found uncleanness in her.

When did he find that uncleanness?

He obviously is finding that uncleanness

when he goes to consummate the marriage, okay?

And it says, then let him write her a bill of divorcement

and give it in her hand and send her out of his house.

And by the way, look up the word uncleanness in the Bible,

and uncleanness is often referring to things

like fornication, adultery,

because those are unclean things, okay?

And here's the thing, is that in this case,

this is exactly what Joseph is doing in Matthew chapter one.

He basically marries a woman,

and then before he consummates with her,

he finds uncleanness in her, he thinks,

because it's like, why is she pregnant from another man?

Then the angel sets his mind at ease,

says no, she's with child of the Holy Ghost,

she's gonna bring forth a son,

he's gonna save his people from their sins,

it's gonna be Emmanuel, it's gonna be God with us,

it's gonna be the savior of the world.

But he didn't know that.

So he's thinking uncleanness, okay?

But then it says, when she is departed out of his house,

verse two, she may go and be another man's wife.

So the idea here is, he goes in under her,

he marries her, goes in under her,

finds some uncleanness, this could be an STD,

this could be just evidence that she's not a virgin,

this could be just whatever the reason,

where he basically says, no, I'm not gonna do this,

and he backs out and gives her a bill of divorcement,

and she can go marry another man.

Okay, now here's the thing, in our modern vernacular,

we in America would not even call this a divorce,

you know what we would call it today?

What would we call it?

An annulment, right?

So when the Bible is giving this scenario here,

it's really what we would think of

in our modern vernacular as an annulment.

This is not a guy being married to his wife

for 13 years, 15 years, 20 years, 30 years,

and then just deciding, oh, we just don't get along,

we got married too young, we just don't like each other,

I'm just not in love anymore, I'm just bored.

Is that what this is?

And this is also not, oh, we've been married

for years and years, and my spouse cheated on me

20 years later, that's not what this is.

This is not talking about adultery,

because the Bible had a totally different remedy

for adultery in the Old Testament, and that was death.

So this wouldn't even make sense,

if it's about adultery, it wouldn't make sense,

because the remedy for adultery is the adulterer

and the adulterers are both put to death.

So there's already a punishment for adultery

in Leviticus chapter 20 verse 10, it's called death.

Leviticus 20:10

This is talking about, he marries her,

he finds uncleanness.

Go back just two pages to Deuteronomy chapter 22,

Deuteronomy 22 · chapter mention

and you're gonna see that the Bible brings up

a similar situation in Deuteronomy 22 verse 13.

Deuteronomy 22:13

It says, if any man take a wife and go in under her

and hate her and give occasions of speech against her

and bring up an evil name upon her and say,

I took this woman and when I came to her,

I found her not a maid.

And when he says, I found her not a maid,

that's another word for I found her not to be a virgin.

Now, if you marry a woman and find her not to be a virgin,

what does that mean she did previously?

It means that she committed.

Fornication, okay?

And so the idea here is that Jesus is saying

that if you put away your wife for a cause

other than fornication, you are misapplying the biblical law,

trying to just divorce your wife for every cause

because this is a specific reason

and it's because of the hardness of your hearts

that basically you're not willing to let that go,

you're not willing to forgive the fact

that she has committed fornication

or been with another man and you're just like,

no, I'm not gonna go with that.

And so I'd rather just not marry you

and just undo the wedding and annul it

and give you the writing of divorcement and move on.

Now, if you would go do Mark chapter 10.

Mark 10 · chapter mention

So we saw those teachings from Matthew, didn't we?

And it's all self-contained right there

in the book of Matthew

because you have the example in chapter one,

you have the teaching in chapter five

and you have the teaching in chapter 19.

It's all consistent.

And then you go back to the book of Deuteronomy

and it makes sense.

The fornication and the uncleanness, it all adds up.

Now look at Mark chapter 10.

Mark 10 · chapter mention

Now keep in mind, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John

are emphasizing different things from one another

and they're kind of in general,

geared toward a different audience.

And Matthew is the book that is most geared

toward the Jews, which is why it's constantly

referencing the Old Testament,

constantly quoting the Old Testament

more than the other books

and referring to the law

and stuff that would interest a Jewish audience.

And most people have agreed upon the fact

that Matthew is sort of geared toward the Jews,

Mark is sort of geared toward the Romans,

Luke is sort of geared toward the Greeks

and John is just geared toward the whole world.

So obviously the whole Bible is written to all of us

but just the styles are kind of geared in that way.

And so Matthew is gonna have heavier discussions

about the law and things like that, okay?

The book of John is gonna be in some ways,

the most negative toward the Jews

and it kind of treats the Jews as other people like,

oh, this is a holiday the Jews do, this is the Jews feast.

Whereas Matthew's written more toward the Jews

in that sense.

So now we get to Mark, different book of the Bible,

it's not really geared toward

that Jewish audience as much

and it says in chapter 10 verse 11,

And he saith unto them,

Whosoever shall put away his wife and marry another,

commit adultery against her,

and if a woman shall put away her husband

and be married to another, she committed adultery.

Now, where's the exception?

Where's the accept-to-be for fornication?

It's not there because that's basically a rare exception.

It's a nuance that basically was important

to people like the Pharisees

who really know the law really well.

But to just a general audience,

it's just like, bro, don't get divorced.

And if you get divorced and marry someone else,

it's adultery.

If you're divorcing your husband, it's adultery.

If you're marrying someone who's divorced, it's adultery.

And notice, in Matthew,

it was talking about the man putting away his wife,

but here it says it the other way.

Verse 12, if a woman shall put away her husband.

So this deals with a woman divorcing her husband.

And guess what?

In today's world, sadly,

most divorces are initiated by women.

So Mark chapter 10 verse 12 becomes super relevant today.

Mark 10:12

Where's the exception about fornication?

Now listen, if the exception were adultery,

wouldn't you say that adultery is a huge reason

why people get divorced?

Wouldn't you say it's probably one of the biggest reasons

why people get divorced is infidelity?

So if there's this massive exception,

where like a massive percentage of people

this would apply to,

wouldn't you bring up that exception

when you preach on this?

You wouldn't just only bring it up in Matthew

and just totally leave it out in Mark.

But it makes sense if it's a rare exception,

you don't have to bring it up constantly.

Go if you would to Luke chapter 16.

Luke 16 · chapter mention

So we've seen Matthew, is there any contradiction

in Matthew versus Mark?

One of them is just bringing up a nuance

and a rare exception.

Mark is just skipping the exception

because it's just not relevant, 99%.

And then Luke 16 also doesn't give the exception

because it's not written to that Jewish audience

that knows Deuteronomy 22 and 24 really well

and cares about that nuance.

Look at Luke 16 verse 18, it says,

Luke 16:18

whosoever put it the way his wife

and Marieth and other committed adultery.

And whosoever Marieth heard

that is put away from her husband,

committed adultery, right?

And so it's crystal clear God is against divorce.

Now, if there were an exception for

if you're in an abusive relationship,

God wants you to get out of that situation,

then wouldn't it have been brought up

somewhere in the Holy Bible?

But instead, what is the Bible saying?

Well, except to be for fornication.

So even when it brings up an exception,

it doesn't bring up abuse.

That's made up feminist garbage.

You can go shove it where the sun don't shine

because the Bible commands you to stay married

till death do you part for better or for worse.

That is your wife, that is your husband,

and you need to stay married

and don't use these excuses that the world does of saying,

oh, well, he slapped me or she slapped me

or somebody got, no, my friend,

that is a false doctrine that is wrong.

It is not in the Bible anywhere.

Now go through it to Romans chapter seven.

Romans chapter number seven.

Because not only is this clearly taught

in Matthew, Mark and Luke,

it's also clearly taught in the epistles of Paul.

And so we could go to Romans and see

that the apostle Paul is teaching the same thing as Jesus.

Now, wouldn't it be pretty weird

if Paul was teaching something totally different

than Jesus taught and contradicting the teachings of Jesus?

That would make us wonder about Paul, wouldn't it?

And say, wait a minute, why is he going against

the clear teaching of Jesus Christ?

Of course he doesn't.

He, of course, is preaching the same thing as Jesus.

And so it says in Romans chapter seven, verse two,

for the woman, which half and husband

is bound by the law to her husband, so long as he liveth.

But if the husband be dead,

she is loose from the law of her husband.

I mean, look, does that say the recommendation,

the suggestion, the, you know,

it's for this stage of my life?

No, it says, as long as her husband lives,

she is bound by the law of her husband, right?

This is a law.

This is set in stone.

This is Jesus making strong statements.

Whosoever shall put away his wife

and marry another is committing adultery.

Now, what about when the Bible says,

whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord

shall be saved?

Is that mean everybody?

Whosoever?

So if it says whosoever, believe it then him,

should not perish but have eternal life.

Whosoever means whosoever, whoever.

So doesn't it also mean whoever when it says,

hey man, whoever divorces his wife

and marries someone else is committing adultery.

Whoever divorces her husband

and marries someone else is committing adultery.

I mean, does whosoever mean whosoever or what?

She's bound by the law of her husband.

This is not optional.

Okay, this is something that is set in stone.

It says in verse number three,

so then if while her husband lives,

she be married to another man,

she shall be called an adulteress.

Unless she's coming from an abusive relationship.

And here's what's so funny,

is that virtually every single divorced person

you talk to, they're spouse abusive.

Like, I mean, it's rare to talk to someone

who's divorced that says that their ex wasn't abusive.

Everybody's abusive to these people.

You know, because it's pretty easy,

especially because the word abuse is such a broad word.

You know, let me just look it up real quick.

I didn't plan on doing this,

but I got the dictionary app on my phone here.

And let's just look it up and see,

because I guarantee you that this is gonna be so vague

that you could pretty much fit anything into this.

How about this?

Abusive, adjective, using, containing,

or characterized by harshly

or coarsely insulting language.

So, are you gonna tell me that people get divorced?

People end their marriage and get divorced

without using any harsh or insulting language at some point?

I mean, I would say that virtually everybody who gets

divorced, somebody's using some harsh

and insulting language somewhere along the way.

Otherwise, y'all need to stay married.

Sounds like you're getting along great.

I mean, everybody should stay married, amen.

But it says, and then the second definition is

treating badly.

I mean, is there anybody who's gonna say,

well, I divorced my spouse and they treated me great?

You know, everybody's treated badly or injuriously,

mistreating, especially physically, you know?

And this is where people talk about physical abuse,

but they'll also talk about verbal abuse,

psychological abuse, and this is what you hear too,

financial abuse.

I mean, I saw people leaving in the comments,

hey, when the Bible says for wives to submit to her husbands,

it doesn't mean that she has to relinquish

financial control to him.

Like what?

There's just all these lists of all these caveats.

Well, it doesn't mean he controls the money,

it doesn't mean he can do it, it doesn't mean she can't.

It's like what?

But people are not basing their beliefs

on the word of God.

They're going by feelings and emotions and stories

and anecdotes.

I mean, some guy from some jungle country in Africa

wrote me and said, what about this guy

who's chopped up his wife with a machete or something?

And I'm just like, well, I'm just glad I don't live

in your crap whole country

where guys are just chopping up wives with machetes.

I'm talking to a normal Christian audience in America.

If somebody tries to chop you up with a machete,

get out of there, man, run as fast as you can.

You're not gonna be like, wait,

let me call Pastor Anderson for permission.

Let me listen to that.

I'm gonna go back and listen to that sermon again.

You know, I'm pretty sure everybody's gonna run away

from the machete man who's coming at you,

swinging a machete.

What the heck?

But look, the Bible's crystal clear, my friend.

I don't care about your anecdotes.

I don't care about your stories.

If somebody that you knew sort of third hand.

No, here's what I care about.

What does the Bible say?

The Bible says you stay married, period.

And if someone smites you on the right cheek,

you turn to them the other also.

That's what the Bible actually said.

These are actual Bible verses,

like saying, hey, you put up with wrong,

you suffer injustice, you suffer as a Christian,

you do right, and you get through it,

and you stay married.

And let me tell you something.

I could tell stories too.

If we wanna just ignore the Bible and just tell stories,

because that's what people wanna do.

Oh, I knew this woman, blah, blah.

Okay, let me tell you a story, okay?

I knew a woman who's married to a guy.

This is a true story.

And this guy was kind of a mean guy,

and a little bit violent, cheated on her,

kind of a jerk, okay?

Seriously, I mean, this guy was not a good guy.

Unsaved, and also, he didn't make a lot of money.

So the family is like struggling financially,

and they don't have nice things and whatever, okay?

But guess what?

These people did not get divorced.

They stayed married.

And then, later in life, decades later,

this guy actually became a great husband.

And he's treating his wife super well,

and taking really good care of her,

and you could just tell,

seeing them interact with each other,

that they were in love, and got along great,

and were super happy,

and they both lived to be old people

in their 70s and 80s,

and this woman was super happy, joyful, Christian,

and the man ended up ultimately getting saved in the end,

and they ended up just living a really happy life.

But by the way, the guy became a great husband

decades before he got saved.

Okay, I'm not saying, oh,

he got saved and that fixed everything.

I'm saying the guy just, he just,

as he got older, he just mellowed out and became cool,

super considerate, super good husband,

wife's happy, he's happy, living an idyllic,

happy, retired life,

and then he ended up getting saved way later.

Okay, how do you like that story?

You know what I'm saying?

Oh, you gotta get away from this guy.

Oh, he's so bad.

Oh, he's a bitch.

There's a story of somebody who just said,

you know, I'm just gonna trust the Lord.

I'm just gonna trust God.

I'm just gonna honor my marriage vows.

I'm gonna stay married,

and this is not somebody that I loosely know.

These are people that I know very well.

So what I'm saying is true, okay?

So we could all pull out stories,

and I could pull out stories of horror stories

about people who left their spouse

and then their life fell apart.

And I could tell stories about people who stayed married

and it turned out great,

even to a bad guy, even to a bad woman.

We could all just tell stories until the cows come home,

or we could just care what the Bible says

and just believe what the Bible says.

What God has joined together.

Let not man put us under.

That's it.

It's done.

You make a vow, you keep your vow.

God has no pleasure in fools.

Pay what you vowed.

That's what the Bible says.

Here's what the Bible says.

A woman is bound by the law of her husband

as long as her husband lives.

Not as long as her husband is a nice guy.

Not as long as she feels safe.

Not as long as he loves her and treats her well.

It's as long as he's alive,

she's bound by the law of her husband.

But if the husband be dead,

she's loose from the law of her husband.

So then if while her husband live it,

she'd be married to another man.

She shall be called an adulteress.

But if her husband be dead,

she is free from that law.

Again, this is not optional.

So that she is no adulteress,

though she be married to another man.

You know, it's saying, look,

once your spouse is dead,

then you are absolutely free to marry someone else.

But as long as that spouse is alive,

you are bound by the law of that husband.

That's what the Bible says.

Now if you would go to 1st Corinthians chapter number seven.

1st Corinthians chapter number seven.

And we still have the apostle Paul.

He was telling us in Romans seven what was up.

Now he's going to tell us in 1st Corinthians seven.

You know, and it's funny when people

want to talk about this,

they want to talk about 1st Corinthians seven.

They want to ignore Romans seven.

It's like same author.

They even both end in seven.

Okay.

Look at 1st Corinthians seven verse 10.

It says unto the married I command,

and don't miss this,

yet not I but the Lord.

Led not the wife to part from her husband.

You know what he's doing is he's saying,

you know, I'm not teaching you something new here.

I'm actually just telling you exactly

what Jesus already told you.

When he says the Lord here,

he's specifically referencing Jesus.

And he's saying, it's not me that's commanding you this,

like I'm giving you some new revelation.

No, I'm telling you, this is what Jesus already said.

Yet not I, but the Lord,

let not the wife depart from her husband.

But and if she depart,

let her remain unmarried,

or be reconciled to her husband,

and let not the husband put away his wife.

Again, super clear teaching, crystal clear.

This is what Christ taught.

Women, don't leave your husbands.

Men, don't leave your wives.

That's what Jesus taught.

And he's teaching the same thing.

Now, Paul is going to expand on what Jesus taught.

He said, look, this is what Jesus said.

Now here's what I'm saying.

He's not going to contradict what Jesus says.

He's going to build on what Jesus says.

And so he says in verse 12,

but to the rest speak I, not the Lord.

So he's saying like, that's what the Lord taught.

Now here's what I'm teaching.

I didn't hear this from Jesus.

This is what I'm expanding on what Jesus taught though.

He says, if any brother had the wife that believe it not,

and she be pleased to dwell with him,

let him not put her away.

And the woman which had the husband that believe it not,

and if he be pleased to dwell with her,

let her not leave him.

Now notice what he's saying here

is he's basically just getting really specific.

So he said, look, here's what Jesus said.

You just don't leave.

Here's what I'm saying.

If you're married to an unsaved person

and that person is pleased to dwell with you,

stay with your unsaved spouse

because a lot of people had this thought that said,

well, what if my spouse is unsaved,

then I don't want to be unequally yoked.

So maybe I should just put away my wife

or just put away my husband

or just depart from my wife or depart from my husband

so I can just serve God and not be unequally yoked.

He said, no, no, no.

Look, you need to stay married

to your unsaved spouse because you're married.

You should, now, should you marry an unsaved person?

No, but if you've already done it, you stay married to.

Now, is that contradicting what Jesus said?

Or is that really just expanding upon

and just getting specific about what Jesus said?

I mean, it's not, there's no contradiction.

There's no problem.

Obviously what Jesus said is in stone, okay?

Now, look at verse number 11 again

because some people will try to twist this

and they'll try to claim that when it says

if she depart here,

that somehow an allowance is being made that like,

oh, well, she could leave.

She can leave, kind of a, she can leave, you know?

So it says in verse 11, but and if she depart,

so it says, let not the wife depart from her husband,

but and if she depart, if she does it,

then let her remain unmarried or be reconciled

to her husband and let not the husband

put away his wife.

So he's saying, look, don't leave,

but if you do, you need to stay unmarried

or be reconciled to your husband.

Don't go marry in someone else.

Everybody see that?

Now, look at 1st John chapter two

because again, people are twisting this

that somehow because he says, well, if she does it,

he's basically saying, well, sometimes it's okay

if she does it, you know?

That's not what he's saying

because look at 1st John chapter two,

we have the same type of grammar

and let's see if this means, yeah, it's okay if you do it.

1st John chapter two verse one says this,

my little children, these things ride A unto you

that you sin not.

So what's the command?

Don't sin.

Pretty clear command, right?

Don't sin.

I'm riding to you so that you don't sin.

And then it says this, and if any man sin,

we have an advocate with the Father Jesus Christ,

the righteous.

So when it says if any man sin, does that mean like,

well, there's a lot to be made

that you're allowed to sin.

It's okay to sin.

I mean, it's gotta be okay to sin

because he says, well, if you sin,

then you have an advocate with the Father.

Therefore, it's okay to sin?

No.

So look, this is the same thing.

If he says, let not the wife depart from her husband,

but if she does X, Y, and Z, that's the same as saying,

don't sin, but if you do X, Y, and Z,

it doesn't mean that the sin is okay.

This is just a logical failure.

So as I'm going through these comments on X

about my preaching

that everybody was losing their minds about,

and by the way, I don't take back anything I said.

I was a thousand percent right.

Because what did I say?

I said, if someone slaps you in the face,

you should turn the other cheek.

Amen?

I mean, I thought that this was one of the most famous

sayings of Jesus of all time.

And people are like, oh, I bet you wouldn't say that

if somebody slapped you.

Yeah, I would.

I have been slapped many times over the last 20 years

and I have turned the other cheek.

And if a man slapped me, I would turn the other cheek.

I'm not gonna freak out.

I'm not gonna beat the snot out of him

or get in a fight over it or whatever.

Because as I mentioned on Sunday,

when somebody slaps you in the face,

they're typically trying to insult you more than injure you.

And I brought up the example where Chris Rock

slaps, or excuse me, Chris Rock gets slapped by Will Smith.

And I mean, he slaps him like as hard as he can.

And I mean, Chris Rock is like reeling.

And yet he just is fine.

It was embarrassing, it's weird, it was awkward,

it's humiliating, but like when people,

that's a grown man slapping with full force.

Now, most of the time when people slap you in my experience,

they're not usually even slapping you as hard as they can.

It's more just like a little pop or something, right?

So what's the Bible saying?

If somebody slaps you in the face,

you know what, you just don't need to just be like,

okay, I'm going nuclear, I'm going scorched earth,

I'm going to war.

The idea here is to just bear the insult of being slapped.

So if a man slaps me, I'm not gonna freak out,

I'm not gonna like it.

It's gonna be upsetting or embarrassing,

but it's like at the end of the day,

I'm gonna turn the other cheek

because that's what Jesus said to do.

I'm not gonna retaliate, okay?

And so here's the thing, if a woman slaps me,

I'm not gonna retaliate.

If my wife slaps me, if I get home tonight,

and my wife just says,

I can't believe that's sermon you preach

and just slapped me across the face tonight,

there is a 0% chance that I will call the cops.

You understand?

I don't care if she goes,

bop, bop, bop, bop, like,

I'm still not gonna call the cops, okay?

Now look, if I just walked up to my wife

and just slapped her across the face,

just I just get home tonight and I said,

hey honey, I'm just here to practice what I preach.

That would be a total jerk move,

that would be wrong, that would be unkind,

but she's like, that's it, we're getting divorced.

I'm calling the cops.

Stupid, it's lies, it's false doctrine.

And you know why this is important?

It's because this is real life people.

And you know, all these little fake virtue signals

can act like, oh, this never happens.

Folks, I've been pastoring for 21 years.

I've dealt with marriage problems of hundreds of couples.

Okay, and let me tell you something,

there are some ugly things that happen in people's marriages.

And so these people just pretend

like they don't know what I'm talking about or something.

They're just a bunch of virtue, signaling,

fakes and weirdos, because you know what?

The truth of the matter is, as a pastor,

I'm dealing with all kinds of problems.

And here's what people are trying to say.

They're like, oh, well if you say

don't call the cops on your spouse when they slap you,

it must mean that you just wanna

just slap your wife around with impunity.

Okay, but here's the thing.

Haven't I also just as many times

gotten up and preached and said

that if your husband smokes pot,

you shouldn't leave him, you shouldn't divorce him.

You can't call the cops, you can't do it.

I've said the same thing.

Does anybody here think that I'm into pot smoking?

I've never even tasted beer in my life.

I've never done drugs.

I've never been into alcohol or anything.

I've never tasted beer.

I've never done those things.

But yet I would defend a man whose wife is saying,

oh, I'm leaving my husband because he smoked pot.

I'm leaving my, look, does that mean

I'm saying pot is good?

No.

What if I said, well, you know what?

If your husband looks at porno,

you can't just divorce him because he looked at porno.

Does that mean I'm saying porno's good

or that it's okay to look at porno?

Of course not.

But you see, these people are obsessed with themselves

and they only care about themselves,

so they think I'm the same way.

So they think anything I'm preaching is for my own benefit.

No, my friend, the shepherd's heart,

the pastor's heart is to care about the flock.

So when I'm getting up and preaching these things,

I'm not preaching them for my benefit, okay?

I could just get up and just say,

well, yeah, if your husband smokes pot,

nuts to him because I'm like,

well, I'm never gonna smoke pot, so who cares?

Screw him.

No, because I'm gonna defend the institution of marriage.

And I'm not doing it for me, I'm doing it for you.

I'm doing it for everybody.

And so no, I don't, they're like,

oh, well anything he defends from the pulpit,

he must be guilty of.

False, because I'm gonna defend everybody's marriage.

I'm gonna defend the institution.

And let me just say this right now, by the way,

I am personally offended every time someone gets divorced,

even if that person has nothing to do with me.

You know why?

You know why I take it personally?

Because I feel like anytime anyone divorces their spouse

for any reason, it's an attack on the institution of marriage.

Because you know what happens is one person gets divorced

and then someone else sees that and says,

well, I'm gonna get divorced too.

And here's the thing, if we're surrounded by divorce

in our culture, we're gonna have a culture of divorce

and then everybody's marriages are in jeopardy.

Whereas if we have a culture where nobody's getting divorced,

then it's gonna be unthinkable.

And that's why I am personally offended

when people get divorced.

Now look, if you have been divorced in the past,

I am not offended by you and I'm not mad at you

because here's the thing,

whatever you've done in the past is over, it's done,

it doesn't matter who cares.

All I care about is what we're doing going forward.

You could be, I don't care if Jennifer Lopez

in the service tonight or someone who's been married,

divorced seven times or whatever.

Hey, you know what, I don't know if she's married

but she just needs to stay with whoever she's married to

right now.

Right?

I don't care if you're on your third husband,

fifth wife, whatever.

Hey, I'm not gonna beat you up about the past

because here's the thing about the past,

you can't change it.

Can't go back and change the past.

I'm not here to just get up and condemn people

for their past, that accomplishes nothing.

We should all just confess and forsake the sins of our past

and forget the things which are behind

and reach forth under those things which are before.

And so look, our church, I know,

has a bunch of people in it that are divorced.

Lots of divorced people in our church right now.

There are lots of divorced people

in this auditorium right now.

And you know what?

I'm glad you're here and I want you here

and I love you but here's the thing about it

is that because of the fact that churches

are filled with divorced people

because the world's filled with divorced people,

because America's filled with divorced people,

because we live in a world of sinners,

pastors are afraid to preach this sermon.

Because they're like, well, I can't run off

these divorced people but here's the thing.

If you're here tonight and you're divorced

and my sermon's offending you,

you're not right with God.

And if you're here tonight

and you've been divorced in the past

but you like the sermon,

you know what that shows me

is that you're actually repentant

and you actually realize, hey, I'm not perfect,

I made mistakes and I want Pastor Anderson

to preach the truth so that the young people

can do it right going forward

and so that I can do it right going forward.

Because how about this?

Let's say you're on your second spouse,

don't you want to stay married?

Because if you don't then you're in the wrong place.

Because I'm the pastor who keeps you married.

That's my goal.

My goal is to keep you married.

My goal is to preach hard and keep you married.

Other pastors, they don't have the same goal

and I agree with what I heard Pastor Shelley say recently

that if you're going to a church

where divorce is on the table,

you should get out of that church

and switch to a church that has a biblical view

that's gonna keep you married

and not a church that's putting divorce as an option,

putting divorce on the table.

Now again, somebody contacted from a foreign country

and they're like, yeah,

the only Baptist church is pro-divorce or whatever.

I'm just like, well obviously beggars can't be choosers

in Finland or whatever.

But it's like, I don't remember if that's what it was.

But the bottom line is in America where options abound,

you don't have to go to a Baptist church

where your pastor is cheerleading divorce.

You can actually go to a church

where the pastor is gonna preach against divorce

and preach to keep you married.

And so I just want to make that crystal clear tonight

because this is important stuff.

This is important doctrine.

And that's why I'm preaching on it tonight

because I'm reading through these comments

and seeing all this stuff.

And it's just mind blowing how people will ignore

what the Bible clearly says on the subject.

But there was another theme

that kept coming up in the comments too.

Another pattern that emerged.

And this was the comment

that I kept seeing over and over again about my preaching.

This guy sounds like J.P. Miller.

This guy's like J.P. Miller.

Is this J.P. Miller?

I'm getting J.P. Miller vibes.

Oh, this is another J.P. Miller.

And I'm like, who is J.P. Miller?

That's what you're thinking right now.

Everybody in that drawer was like, huh?

And I was like, huh?

Because I'm trying to figure out who is J.P. Miller.

I don't even know what they're talking about.

So I looked into this

and it's a really popular documentary on Netflix right now

that everybody's watching this, you know,

a documentary called Death of a Pastor's Wife, okay?

Now let me tell you a synopsis

of the story of this documentary, okay?

So you have a 35-year-old non-denom pastor

named J.P. Miller, okay?

So this is like a skinny jeans, rock and roll pastor.

They have like a female pastor preaching and stuff.

This is not a fundamentalist Baptist church at all.

It's some libtard skinny jeans pastor, okay?

35 years old and he is married to his wife.

Well, there's another woman in the church

who's 20 years old, so she's 15 years younger than him,

and she has her own husband that's her age, right?

So you have pastors, 35, she's 20.

They both have their own spouses.

Well, the pastor is committing adultery

with the 20-year-old woman.

And so they get caught committing adultery.

And of course the libtard church

just allows him to keep pastoring, you know?

He just keeps pastoring, even though it's just openly

found out that he is committing adultery

with another man's wife.

He's cheating on his own wife,

committing adultery with another man's wife.

But you know, it's just, oh, we just gotta forgive

everybody in Kumbaya.

This is not a hard preaching,

independent fundamental Baptist church.

So both of their spouses leave them.

Pastor's wife leaves them, woman's husband leaves her,

and then they end up getting married to each other, okay?

They decide to marry each other,

even though everyone in this woman's life is warning her,

do not marry this guy.

Like all of her siblings and all of her people,

they're all warning her, this is bad,

this is not right, stay away from this guy.

Do not marry him, and they're like,

yeah, we went to the wedding, but we all disapprove.

And even before they got married,

this guy's already abusive,

because he's already like involuntarily

putting her in the nut house, basically pulling a lineal.

So he's already pulling a lineal,

sticking her in the nut house, gaslighting her,

drugging her, and just treating her super weird.

And look, I'm not defending this,

this guy is a scumbag.

I mean, this guy is trash.

I mean, he's a pastor, just serial adulterer,

super weird, or the guy's a freak and a psycho, okay?

And so everybody's warning her, don't marry this guy,

but she just ignores all that and marries the guy anyway,

and then you're not gonna believe this.

Once they get married, you're not gonna believe this,

he cheated on her.

Can you believe that?

It's like, well obviously, if the whole relationship started

because he's cheating on his wife with you,

then obviously he's gonna cheat on you with the next person.

And so he does all kinds of other just psycho weird things,

just a complete freak, complete false profit,

reprobate, weirdo.

So ultimately, she ends up divorcing the guy.

So she divorces him, she files for divorce, I should say,

and then he's like harassing her and telling her

she has to come back, and he's telling her basically

a quote from the Bible, God hates divorce.

So now I guess anybody who says God hates divorce

is this guy now, because this guy says that,

so anybody who says that, well, you're J.P. Miller now

because you're quoting the Bible

when the Bible says that God hates putting away.

So then she goes out and kills herself.

Okay, and it's like the most clear cut thing

in the world that she killed herself

because there's literally like a surveillance footage

of her like walking into a gun store by herself,

purchasing a gun, she takes the gun, gets in the car,

drives like hours away, stops at a gas station,

surveillance footage of her at the gas station

by herself, gassing up her vehicle,

drives out into the middle of the state park

and calls 911 and says, hey, I want you guys

to check my location, maybe you can triangulate

from my cell signal, I'm in such and such the state park

and I'm about to kill myself.

And so I just want you to be able to find the body

so my loved ones don't have to wonder what happened to me,

I'm just telling you I'm here

and I'm about to kill myself,

she hangs up and kills herself.

And then conspiracy theorists are like,

yeah, we think someone murdered her.

It's like video of her every step of the way here

by herself doing this and saying that that's what she,

she's like super chill, like, yeah, I'm about to kill myself

and then just does it.

Now stop and think about this for a second, okay?

Because this whole documentary is just painting this woman

as like, oh, this poor victim

and just lionizing this woman, okay?

But here's what the Bible says,

then when lust has conceived, it bringeth forth sin

and sin when it has finished bringeth forth death.

You're an adulteress, you're committing adultery

with the pastor, that is super wicked.

And then you marry the guy, when you know he's a freak,

you know he's a weirdo and then all of a sudden

it's like, oh, what's happening to me?

You got what was coming to you, okay?

You're wicked, that's why you shot yourself

because you're wicked, like Judas Iscariot.

These people are false prophets, they're evil

and look, I'm not defending the guy, the guy was horrible.

The guy is evil trash.

He's still pastoring right now.

Now he's married to the woman

that he was cheating on the second wife with.

So it's like, he's married to the first wife

cheating with the next woman.

Then he marries the second one,

cheating with the third one

and then when the second one shoots herself

then he, now he's with the third one.

You know, it's just like this chain of fools.

Chain, chain, chain, chain of fools.

But the problem is that this just becomes

a feminist propaganda of like,

oh, how dare a man of God get up

and say, don't divorce your husband,

you're stuck with him, you married him,

you made your bed, laying it,

oh, he's like J.P. Miller.

No, actually, here's why I'm not like J.P. Miller

because I was a virgin when I got married

and I've been faithful to my wife for 26 years.

I'm also not a psycho weirdo

and I've never locked her in the nut house

or drugged her or done any of these other horrible,

I'm not even gonna mention the horrible things

this guy was doing because the guy was super evil.

But the problem is that the world

is gonna take this anecdote

and their message is, oh, the answer is divorce.

Divorce is the answer.

And that's the message that is just hammered

in this documentary is like, she can divorce this guy.

She has the right to leave this guy.

It's like, hold on a second.

She married this guy knowing exactly what he was like.

She knew he'll commit adultery

because he's committing adultery with her.

She knew that he's a freak.

She knew he's a psycho

and then all of a sudden God's law just doesn't apply.

So let me give you some quotes from her in the documentary.

What she verbatim says, and this is just the message

that comes off over and over again.

Here's what she says.

God hates divorce, but why?

First of all, who cares why?

God hates divorce, period, deal with it.

You know what?

Sometimes when your kids ask why,

sometimes she just tell them, because I said so.

Hey, God hates divorce, yeah, why though?

Because I said so.

God hates divorce, but why?

According to everybody I've asked

and the scriptures that I've found,

it's because it hurts people.

But does abuse hurt people?

How do you think God feels about that?

Jesus took it all for you

so you don't have to stay in an abusive relationship.

Now let me say this right now.

First of all, you absolutely don't have to stay

in an abusive relationship if you're not married.

You know when the time to get out

of the abusive relationship is while you're dating?

And I see this over and over again.

I see a young man dating a young woman

and there are just obvious super clear signs.

This guy is a freak.

This guy is a psycho.

This guy is wicked.

This guy is immoral.

This guy's into porno.

This guy's gonna cheat on you.

This is the kind of guy that's gonna kill you

and then kill himself.

And then these women are just like, don't listen.

Right?

You're warning these young ladies.

This guy's bad news.

Watch out for this guy, right?

Or the other way around.

You're warning the guy.

She's a psycho.

She's a weirdo.

Stay away from her.

You know there have been people that have come to us

and wanted to marry a certain person

and we're just like, no, we don't think that's a good idea.

And then they took our advice

and then it was like they dodged a bullet.

You know, I mean, and here's the thing.

You know, obviously it's not our place

to tell other people who they can and can't marry

but sometimes we will express ourselves.

Sometimes we'll give advice like, hey,

I think this person's a bad idea.

And obviously parents are definitely gonna be

forbidding certain suitors.

And so she says, you don't have to stay

in an abusive relationship.

I agree.

You don't have to stay in an abusive relationship

unless you're married.

If you're married, you do have to stay in your marriage.

Even if it's quote unquote abusive, okay?

You stay married.

And then she says this, well, I'm God's bride first.

I'm God's bride first.

You don't have to stay in an abusive relationship

whether that's sexual abuse or alcohol abuse

or physical abuse or psychological abuse.

This is like, again, this can ultimately mean anything.

Making you think that this is all your fault

or you're not giving it all when you know you are.

It is your fault.

You committed adultery with a married man

when you were married yourself.

That's your fault, okay?

But you know what we live in a day

where people don't want to take responsibility

for their own actions.

And especially our society does not want

to hold women accountable for their actions.

Go if you were to Psalm 15.

Your actions have consequences, my friend, okay?

So if you're a young lady and dad says,

do not marry that young man.

And you say, I'm gonna defy my father and mother

and I'm gonna go marry that man anyway.

You can't then turn around and say,

oh, this is not my fault, it's all his fault.

It's like, well, actually it's your fault

because you didn't listen to the counselors

that are giving you wisdom.

And you didn't, in that case,

you didn't listen to your authority,

which is your father and mother

are your authority figures, okay?

But it's like women just, women basically

want to just defy authority, defy the Bible,

and then have no consequence, you know?

Psalm 15, because what did she say?

Let me just remind you of what she said,

because this is the message that the documentary,

and here's the thing, obviously the devil's smart,

and so basically people that are watching

this documentary, they're seeing how this guy

is just such an evil perverted piece of trash.

So then when she's saying these things,

they're sympathizing with her like,

yeah, this isn't your fault.

Yeah, God doesn't want you to be an abusive relationship.

Yeah, you can divorce your husband, yeah.

You know, because it's just this extreme case,

but then it's just brainwashing the audience

with this feminist propaganda of,

oh, if your husband's abusive, you can leave.

And again, people are gonna take this,

and they're not gonna say, oh, well,

if my husband's exactly like J.P. Miller, I can leave.

No, they're gonna say, well,

if there's any psychological abuse, I can leave.

If there's any alcohol abuse, I can leave.

If there's any, you know,

whatever physical abuse I can leave.

Look what the Bible says, because she said,

God hates divorce, but why?

Everybody has said it's because it hurts people,

and since abuse hurts people too,

ergo, God doesn't want us to get hurt,

so ergo, I can leave my husband.

Well, look what the Bible says in Psalm 15-1.

It says, Lord, who shall abide in thy tabernacle?

Who shall dwell in thy holy hill?

Jump down to verse four,

in whose eyes a vile person is condemned,

but he honoreth them that fear the Lord.

Watch this, he that sweareth to his own hurt,

and change it not.

He that doeth these things shall never be moved.

It says at the end of the Psalm.

So what's the Bible saying?

Is it God's will for you to swear to your own hurt,

and change not?

Yes.

Well, God's just against the force,

because it hurts people,

so if it hurts to be married,

he wants me to ditch my marriage.

Is that a biblical teaching?

And of course, when you're watching this psycho freak,

everyone would want to get away

from this evil psycho freak J.P. Miller,

but the problem is this is brainwashing lives

to despise their own husband,

who is just psychologically abusive,

or he's as a drinking problem,

or a pot problem, or whatever the problem.

Do you see how dangerous these ideas are?

Because when you become untethered

from what the Bible's teaching on this subject,

well, it's a jungle out there.

You know, and what's the Bible saying?

If you swear to your own hurt,

God is gonna bless you when you change not,

meaning you stick with your vow,

even if it hurts you.

If it hurts you to stick with your vow,

you stick with your vow.

You swear to your own hurt,

and you change not.

You don't say, well, why does God

not want people to break their vows?

It's because he doesn't want people to get hurt.

And so it hurts to be in this marriage,

so therefore, folks,

why don't we just go with what the Bible says?

Now you say, okay, Pastor Anderson,

I get it, stay in an abusive marriage.

You know, what do I do though?

Okay, now stop and think about this, okay?

My number one advice to women out there

is don't get into an abusive relationship

in the first place.

I mean, isn't that the smartest thing to do

would be to just not marry someone who's abusive?

He said, well, I didn't know.

You know, virtually every single person

that I've talked to though,

it's like there's always red flag city with these guys.

Oh, my husband's so abusive.

Oh, what about before you were married?

Yeah, then too.

It's like, well then, why'd you marry the guy?

Because it's like, you married,

it'd be like if I bought a car,

and the guy who was selling me the car said,

this car has a problem with the suspension.

And then I, and it's as is.

And then I buy the car and then I wanna return it a week later

like, well, the suspension's bad.

It's like, bro, it's as is.

Well, guess what?

Marriage is as is.

And so you can't sit there and say,

oh, I didn't know.

The whole point of dating is to get to know the person,

talk to their people, get to know them.

And here's a good rule of thumb.

When everybody around you is telling you

this is a bad idea, don't marry this guy,

then maybe you should listen to that.

And if your parents are telling you that,

you should for sure listen to that.

And so, number one, step one is don't marry a psycho.

Don't marry a freak, don't marry a weirdo.

Don't start your relationship by committing adultery.

Don't date married men.

How about that?

Is that a good place to start?

Okay, but you say, okay,

but what if they're already in an abusive relationship?

It's just like anything else in life.

You have to make the best of your situation.

You make the best of your situation.

That's what you do.

So if you say, Pastor Anderson,

I didn't listen and I married a bozo

and now I'm having to live with that.

What do I do?

You make the best of your situation.

Or you say, there were no red flags.

I thought everything was cool and this is what happened.

Well, at the end of the day,

all you can do is make the best of your situation.

Life is gonna throw all kinds of bad things at us.

And again, I'm not defending crappy husbands.

You think I'm defending jerk husbands?

You know what, here's the thing.

I think that even just being a jerk to your wife verbally

is bad and sinful and reprehensible.

If I just went home and was just unkind to my wife

and a jerk to my wife for no reason, I'd be sinning.

Even if I wasn't abusive,

even if I was just a jerk, even if I was just unkind,

even if I was just inconsiderate.

Even if I, what if I just did all the right things

but I didn't love her?

That'd be sin too.

Call the police.

Do you see the difference between sinning

and calling the police?

You don't call the police on every sin, do you?

That's stupid and wrong.

And again, I was so disillusioned

reading these comments,

not just by how people don't care what the Bible says,

but also just how stupid people are.

Like they're just so stupid.

Like they just, they need to take a math class.

Like I feel like math would fix a lot with people

because they just have no logic.

They need to take math and like math.

Well, I don't know, maybe you're gonna grow up

and write stupid comments on my ex channel

because you suck at math.

So you have no logic.

So it's like, I get up and say,

hey, listen, I'm not saying

that a husband should slap his wife

but if he does, she shouldn't call the police.

Oh, I got a Bible verse to debunk you.

Husbands love your wives.

Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

It's like, hey idiot, everybody believes that.

We all know that the Bible commands you

to be loving and gentle and kind and a good husband.

We all believe that.

But here's what we're not saying

that if the husband fails,

call the cops and divorce him.

That's the problem.

Okay, look, we all agree that the wife should submit.

Amen?

Amen.

Am I gonna call the cops on my wife and say,

officer, my wife is not submitting.

Can you come make her do what I'm telling her to do?

My wife is refusing to cook dinner, officer.

Can you send a squad car immediately?

And come taser her until she, you know,

it's like, that's stupid.

But again, it's like people,

they can't even use simple logic.

I mean, this Faggity pastor

who was like fired from his church

for taking them off of the King James,

he made a response video to me today.

He put on a baby pink V-neck T-shirt.

Okay, it's like, bro, don't wear a baby pink V-neck T-shirt

unless you wanna be called Faggot by Pastor Anderson.

There's no reason to dress that way.

But he puts on this baby pink,

because he's, you know,

he's gotta put on his simping uniform.

He's gotta put on his white night uniform.

So he puts on his baby pink V-neck shirt

and he gets up and says,

when the Bible says turn the other cheek,

that's talking about a backhand.

That's talking about a slap across the face.

That's not talking about all this like severe injuries.

And I'm like, bro, isn't that what I literally said?

Like, didn't I literally say

if a husband slaps his wife,

if a wife slaps her husband?

That's literally what I said.

And he makes a whole video saying,

well, when the Bible says turn the other cheek,

that's talking about getting slapped in the face.

It's not talking about getting beaten to a pulp.

It's like, when did I mention getting beaten to a pulp?

And stop and think about this.

If a husband actually beat the hell out of his wife

and injured her,

I'm talking about like,

if he's injured or he's breaking bones

and just harming her and like, you know, whatever,

then here's the thing.

She'd go to the hospital

and the cops would get involved

and the guy would be punished

and the guy should be punished.

Obviously, a man who beats the hell out of another person

and just injures them and harms them like that

should be punished.

We don't need special domestic violence laws for that

because if you beat anyone and injure them,

you're gonna get in trouble.

Right?

If I went to the hospital and I'm all beat up

and, you know, the cops are gonna come

and say, who did this to you?

What happened?

The cops are gonna come.

If my wife goes in there, broken nose,

black eye, bloody lip, you know,

fractured ribs or whatever,

they're gonna be like, okay, what happened?

The cops are gonna come

and the guy's gonna get arrested

and the guy's gonna get punished or whatever.

And you know, it may or may not be a biblical punishment,

but at the end of the day,

like, yeah, obviously that is not what I'm talking about.

Anyway, I'm talking about,

I literally said he slaps you down

or she slaps you or, you know,

she's attacking you or whatever.

At the end of the day,

like this guy is so stupid

that he gets up and makes a video and says,

Matthew 539 is about getting slapped in the face.

Not, and I'm just like, what?

Am I living in the twilight zone?

Does anybody have a brain in their head?

Has anybody taken a math class?

Don't you be skipping math, you homeschoolers?

You better, you need to go hard.

And you know what?

Hey, I don't care if high school only requires Algebra 1,

I want you to go to Algebra 2

so that you have some logic.

But again, nobody cares,

everybody just watches Captain Pink undershirt

and they don't care, here's the thing,

they don't care if he's making any sense or not

because it's just, they're just emotional.

They say, yeah, yeah, bad, pass anything bad.

Yeah, yeah, if any man ever lifts a hand to a woman,

you gotta call the cops right away.

And yeah, you shouldn't be in a piece of relationship.

You used to go watch Netflix and yeah,

I just watched Netflix and Netflix told me

that yeah, God commands us to call the cops.

I mean, I had people leaving comments saying,

God commands us to call the cops on our spouse.

I'm not kidding.

You're disobeying God if you don't call the cops.

I'm like, what?

Well, Netflix chapter five verse 13 says that.

But you know what, let me just give you

some real practical advice because you know what?

You say Pastor Anderson, and I'm almost done,

you say Pastor Anderson, this sermon doesn't apply to me.

This is a wild sermon, whatever.

But at the end of the day, here's the thing, okay?

You could apply what I'm about to give you right now

to any area of your life.

Because all of us have a part of our life

that is going badly.

Nobody's life is perfect, finance is perfect,

relationship perfect, health is perfect,

spirits are perfect, church is perfect.

Like, nobody's life is like that.

Everybody's got problems.

Here's what you gotta do, focus on the parts

of your life that are going well, right?

You say, oh man, my marriage is messed up.

My husband's abusive, my wife's abusive.

Well, here's the thing, you know what?

Find a way to just enjoy other areas of your life.

And you say, oh, my husband's got a temper.

And he's just constantly slapping me.

Here's the, quit pissing him off.

How about that?

And I'm not saying it's right for him to act that way,

but what I'm saying is quit pissing him off.

Because you know what the Bible says in Romans 13?

It says, wilt thou then not be afraid of the power?

Do that, which is good.

And that's enough praise of the same.

The Bible says, if you don't wanna get punished by authority,

then quit pissing off authority.

Okay, and look, and again, I'm not condoning it.

But again, retards who didn't go all the way in math,

they will leave comments saying that I'm saying

it's good to abuse your spouse or something.

Because they're just stupid though.

And I'm sorry, I don't have time for people like that.

And if you're sitting here tonight

and you're one of them,

you need to pick a retard church to go to.

This is adult church, this is big boy church,

special needs retard Baptists is down the street

for people who can't think.

And we don't have any people like that today.

But the point is though,

is that if you have to learn

to make the best of your situation, whatever it is.

So you know what you have to do?

Your assignment is your wife's a monster,

your wife's a psycho, your wife's an idiot.

You have to figure out a way to at least have

some level of normalcy or peace in your house.

That's the assignment.

You gotta spend the rest of your life

trying to figure out how to neutralize

this wild broad that you're married to.

And if you're married to some weirdo guy,

you have to try to figure out a way.

And of course you can bring up some wild example

about J.P. Miller and psycho machete wielders in the jungle.

But for 99% of people,

you can figure it out because you know how I know that?

Because throughout history 99% of people made it work.

In the 1700s and 1800s,

people weren't just getting divorced left and right.

They figured out a way to get along

with their wicked wife

or get along with their wicked husband.

They figured it out.

And you say, yeah, but I just wanna have true love

and everything.

Look, I have found true love, baby.

But you know what?

Everybody hasn't found true love.

I'm sorry.

I feel sorry for you if your marriage

is a loveless marriage,

if your marriage is depressing or disappointing

or your husband's cheating

or whatever bad things you're going through,

I truly feel bad for you.

Okay, but you know what?

I got my own crap that I'm going through.

My marriage is good, but I got other problems.

You got other, we all got problems.

And if all our troubles were hung on a line,

you'd take yours and I'd take mine.

And at the end of the day,

you just have to make the best of your situation

and there are certain parts of your life

that are never gonna be fixed.

You might have a physical ailment

that will never go away.

You might have a spouse that will never go away.

You might have a financial problem that will never go away.

Here's the thing.

You can choose to fixate on that

or you can choose to focus on the things

in your life that are going well.

So when I'm going through painful things in my life,

I just lean into the other areas of my life

that are going well.

So if I had, and look,

I've been married for 26 years.

There have been rough patches in our marriage.

There have been low points in our marriage.

There were times when we were not getting along

and where I was not satisfied with my marriage.

I am right now,

but there were times when I wasn't

because that's just the life that we live

and in those times when my marriage was not fulfilling

my emotional needs,

then you know what I did is I just basically

just focused on parts of my life that were going well.

You get a hobby friend.

Join the gym or something.

Join a sports team.

How about this?

If everything in your life is going to crap,

how about you just show up and go soul winning anyway?

You know, because here's the thing.

I don't care if you're the most messed up,

screwed up person in the room,

and your life is an absolute train wreck.

If you're saved,

you can still go out and win someone to Christ.

And if you're waiting for your life to be perfect

before you become a soul winner,

that's a mistake because you're never going to get there.

Hey, while your marriage is messed up,

while your finance are messed up,

go out and win somebody to Christ.

While your whole life is falling apart,

what if you get someone out of hell?

Hey, then you know what?

That feels pretty good, doesn't it?

And it doesn't just feel good, it is good.

And it has eternal value.

Because you know what?

The time is short, my friends.

Pretty soon, there's going to be no difference

between the married and the single.

There's going to be no difference between

the guy that has a great marriage

and the guy that has a crappy marriage.

There's going to be no difference

between the rich and the poor.

Very soon, it's all going to be over.

Hang in there, do what you can, stay with it.

And you know what?

If you are looking for a reason to get out of your marriage,

go to church somewhere else

because this is the church that's going to keep you married.

My mission is to keep myself married,

keep you married, keep all of y'all married.

Keep you at home married.

You hate watching X and IFB losers that are watching me?

You bunch of weird Protestant,

Protestant, pulpitant, pen people that are watching me?

I want you to stay married too.

And whether you believe it or understand it or not,

I'm actually helping you all stay married

by actually being a voice for marriage

and I'm polling against this divorce culture

and Netflix is going the opposite way.

By showing you the worst.

I mean, why doesn't Netflix make a documentary

about a woman who's married to a horrible guy

who later gets his crap together and becomes a great husband?

And she's like, wow, I'm so glad I stayed married

and I didn't give up.

Now, obviously JP's a reprobate, so there's no fixing him.

That's why they want to show you that

and focus on this super wild anecdote.

The exception, not the rule.

The rule is staying married.

That's what we need.

Let's bards and have a word of prayer.

Father, we thank you so much for your word, Lord.

We thank you for the clear teachings, Lord God.

I pray that none of us would just get emotional

and start throwing out the words of Jesus Christ, Lord.

Help Christ's words always to be a lamp to our feet

and a light to our path, Lord.

Help us to stay with our vows even when it hurts.

Help us to stay with the Bible even when it's unpopular.

And Lord God, I pray that you'd bless us all

as we go our separate ways.

In Jesus' name, amen.