All of Me | Pastor Matt Pennington | Week 1

Well, today we start a new series that's titled All of Me.

And for the next four weeks, we're going to be talking about marriage.

Now, I know that that right off the bat can be a little scary for some of you because you're thinking, well, I'm not married, or I was married, or I want to be married.

We understand that not everybody who sees this or is watching this that you are married or even that you have the hopes of being married.

Maybe you're older in a stage of life and you're widowed and you're like, well, those days are gone.

The point of this series is not just to talk about married people and talk to married people and say, hey, this is how to have a better marriage, but really the entire point of this entire series is that we would have a biblical, godly view of marriage.

Or said differently, that we would have a high view of marriage.

And here's why I think it's important that we have a high view of marriage is because if we're being honest, our culture has lowered the standard of marriage.

And I would say that many people in our culture and sometimes even in churches have a low view of marriage.

And maybe that's because they saw parents who fought and argued and couldn't get along and they ended up getting divorced.

Maybe that's because they come from a single parent household and they don't know their mom or their dad.

Maybe that's because they've seen over and over again in their own lives failed relationships, whatever the case may be, my fear is that a lot of times culture has painted our picture of marriage, and yet the Bible is clear that marriage is from God.

In fact, I read an article not too long ago.

It was posted in The Guardian, and the name of the article was Quiet Divorce.

And really it was the headline that caught my attention.

And so when I clicked on the article to read it, here's what the entire article was about this idea of quiet divorce, by the way, which is a new phrase that has been coined.

The article defines quiet divorce as this it's when couples check out of their marriage emotionally without formally separating.

And they would go on to say that quiet divorce happens and is the result of living in a state of deep resigned unhappiness.

So as I read this article, what I began to realize and what I began to think about was really and truly what we're saying when we talk about quiet divorce is that is that mentally and emotionally we are divorced, we just don't file for divorce, maybe because of the ramifications of that, whether it be financially or structurally or children or whatever the case may be.

In fact, at the end of this article, the author of the article quoted another author from a different article, but this person said this.

She laid out, her name was Monica Harrell, she lays out that quiet divorce is potentially a positive move.

In other words, checking out of your marriage that it actually can be a good thing.

That was the whole idea of this article that Monica Harrell read.

So the article says that this was her reasoning for why this could be a good thing, and she told of a person that she knows.

It says that she spoke to one woman who absolutely loved going zombie, and those are her words, in her marriage.

And this person says about quietly quitting or divorcing their spouse, said I lowered my overall expectations, which lowered my disappointment in my husband and in myself.

And then she would go on and jokingly add that checking out of my marriage emotionally not only lowered my expectations and therefore my disappointment, but it also freed me up the time in my schedule to learn how to make jewelry too.

Now here's the question.

When I read this article not too long ago, and as we were preparing for this series, here's the question.

Is this really the best that marriage has to offer?

Is this really the best that marriage has to offer that we can say, well, emotionally I'm checked out, but the good news is I had time to learn how to make jewelry.

Now that's great if you have a desire to learn to make jewelry, but is this really the best that marriage has to offer?

And what I would say, and I've heard people say this, whether in these words or convey the same sentiment, there are people that I know in my town, in my city, in my area, in our church, and you probably know them as well, who their view of marriage has been lowered to the point where if I just check out, at least I'll have time to learn new things.

And the question is, is this really the best that marriage has to offer?

Now here's the goal of this series, and here's why we're doing it.

Is that the goal of this series is to remind or convince people that marriage is a good gift from a good God.

In other words, that that sentiment that I would check out, and there maybe are some positives to checking out of my marriage, that I could be emotionally divorced from my spouse, that well, there's some positives that is that we would throw that out the door, that we would give zero credence to that mindset and that perception and allow that view of marriage to creep into the church.

But instead, that this series would remind people what God says about marriage and convince people that marriage is a good thing, that it is a good gift from a good God.

That is the entire point of this series.

And today, as we introduce this series, here's what I want us to understand that over the next three weeks after this, we're going to look specifically at this idea of relational, physical, and spiritual intimacy, but marriage is the unification of all three of those things, and that's part of why it is a good gift.

And then ultimately, as we see in the New Testament, as Paul will tell us in Ephesians, that ultimately marriage is a picture of Jesus and the church.

Therefore, in my mind, emotionally checking out and quietly divorcing my spouse can never be an acceptable answer for the picture of marriage that we have.

Because marriage is a picture of Jesus and the church, it is a picture of love and sacrifice, is a picture of laying down one's life, is a picture of sparing no expense.

Therefore, we have to have a high view of marriage.

And our goal in this series is by the end of week four, is that we would leave and we would either be reminded or convinced to have a high view of marriage because marriage is a good gift from a good God.

And for some people, let me just be honest, this series is going to challenge you.

For some people, this series is going to be a conviction for you.

For some people, this series is going to step on your toes and on your comforts because we have developed these walls and these barriers and these compartmentalizations in our brains of, well, marriage is this and my expectations are this, but I have other things to worry about or to be concerned about, or I've put that on the back burner, that I don't have time for that, whatever the case may be.

But here is my prayer for all of us over these next few weeks is this is that if we are offended, if our toes are stepped on, if we are confronted or challenged, is that we would be confronted or challenged by the word of God, that we would be offended by the word of God, and that we would realize it's because God's idea, design, and purpose for marriage is different from ours, and that we would humbly and willingly submit our desires, anticipations, and expectations of marriage to the Word of God so that we can leave with a new perspective of what marriage is.

So today, really all that we're doing is introducing this series, the heartbeat behind it, so that we can lay a foundation for the next few weeks to come.

And so here's the big idea for what I want us to see today, and that is this is that marriage was God's idea.

Is that marriage was God's idea.

We see this in Genesis chapter 2, verses 18 to 25, that say this, then the Lord God said, It is not good for the man to be alone.

Genesis 2:18–25

Now here's why I know that's a simple statement that marriage is God's idea, here's why that statement matters.

It's because all throughout the biblical creation account in Genesis 1 and Genesis 2 is that every time God creates, whether it be animals of the land, the sea, the birds of the air, the land, every time God creates something and he reflects on that creation every time he says, and it is good.

In fact, after all things have been created, when God looks back and reflects on his creation, he says, Then it is very good.

The first time we ever see God say that something is not good is Genesis 2.18, when God says, It is not good for man to be alone.

And so here's the realization is that God says, Hey, this is not good.

It's not good that man would be alone because man is designed for companionship and relationship.

And so God does something to fix a problem that he says is not good.

And his solution to this thing, loneliness for man that is not good, is that he says, I will make a helper corresponding to him.

In other words, I will make a helper, a mate that is fit just for him.

So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to come over the man, and he slept.

God took one of his ribs and closed the flesh of that place.

Then the Lord God made the rib he had taken from the man into a woman and brought her to the man.

And the man said, This one at last is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh.

This one will be called woman, for she was taken from man, and this is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh.

And verse twenty five, both the man and his wife were naked, yet felt no shame.

Now here's the entire foundation for this series is that God saw that it was not good for man to be alone, and his solution to this entire problem of man and his being alone is that he made a companion fit for the man.

In other words, God created marriage because he realized it is not good for man to be alone.

So the anticipation then is that if God created a solution to man's problem, then what he created now is good.

And what God created to solve this problem was marriage, was a helper fit for, a mate corresponding to the man.

And so God formed and fashioned Eve, this mother of all women.

He formed and fashioned Eve out of the rib of the man, and now these two are united.

And most people agree that Moses probably wrote Genesis.

Moses would go on to tell us, and this is why for so long marriage continues to exist.

That men and women are united, that two become one flesh, that they leave father and mother behind, and now they are now united, that God created marriage, and therefore at Moses' time of writing this, and now even to our day, we see that people continue to be given in marriage, that two continue to become one flesh.

Now here's the idea for us is that if God created marriage, then the idea is that God said this is a good thing, and this solves a major issue for man, in this case, mankind.

And he created man and woman that they would be united.

So here's my question.

My question is in 2026, how have we as a society gotten to a place where we take something that God gave as a good gift to man?

And how have we come to the place where our overall expectations are so low that we would say, well, I know my marriage isn't very good, but at least I learned how to make jewelry.

So here's the heartbeat.

The heartbeat is this is that if marriage was God's idea, then it was a good gift given to mankind.

But here's the other thing: if marriage was God's idea, then there is a specific design and purpose for marriage.

And I think this is really the heart of what our society is reckoning with.

I think this is the heart of why we have lowered our standards for marriage, is because God designed marriage and he has a purpose for marriage.

I would say most of our marital unfulfillment is because we have relegated ourselves to design and create other purposes for marriage that ultimately were not part of God's design and purpose.

And so we are left with a void.

We are left feeling empty because we are not conforming ourselves to God's design and his purpose for marriage.

And so, if marriage was God's idea, that he has a design for marriage and he has a purpose for marriage.

We're gonna talk specifically about specifically the purpose of marriage, but we're gonna talk about all of these things over the next three weeks.

But real quick, because we're just doing an intro today, I want to walk quickly through what does it mean that God designed marriage?

If God was creating marriage, if marriage was his idea, then he has a design for marriage.

Let me just run through a few things that we see just in Genesis 2 about God's design for marriage.

Number one is that it was designed to be complementary.

And now there's a lot of debate today around this idea of gender and equality.

How are genders defined?

Are genders fluid?

Are genders binary?

Are men and women equal?

Are genders equal?

All of this debate in 2026, we're still arguing, and I would say more than ever, we're trying to figure out what does this mean?

And yet what we see in God's design is that God designed man and woman, and they were designed to be complementary.

We see that God created two genders, male and female, biologically, that there is a difference between male and female.

And we can take hormones and we can have surgeries and all of these things, but God's design is that I have created male and I have created female, that genders are set by God, that there are fundamental differences in gender.

But hear me, not even that is the issue.

And what we see is that God did so by design is that male and female were designed to complement one another.

That's not just physically, that's emotionally.

That's with different skill sets and desires, that's with different roles and purposes within marriage.

And so what we see is that God has a design for marriage, that He created male and female, and God's design for marriage is that marriage would be complementary.

Is that men and women, he created a heterosexual relationship with male and female.

And here's what I would say, and here's what I want you to hear, specifically if you're caught in the storm of our culture that's trying to figure out all of these questions to these things, is this God created male and female to be complementary.

They are equal in value, they are different by design.

And I would argue that a lot of our societal problems are because we're arguing over design and not value.

God says that we are equal in value because man and woman are created in the image of God, and yet we are different by design.

Maybe we stop fighting over how we're different and realize that our differences are a gift from God.

What else is part of God's design for marriage?

This one is maybe less of a hot topic, and yet maybe today more than ever, it's becoming more and more of an issue, is that we see that God's design is monogamy.

That for Adam, he created Eve.

He created one spouse, one partner.

And for most people, I would say that we probably don't have to convince you of that, and yet our society would make room and allow for, well, maybe there's this polyamorous relationship, there's this polygamous relationship.

We see that God created one spouse for Adam.

And I know what you're thinking.

You're thinking, well, what about in the Bible?

And so-and-so had multiple wives.

Here's what I would say: just because it happened doesn't mean it was part of God's design.

The second thing I would say is this I would argue that it never went well.

Think about David.

And David seeks the wife of someone else, has that man killed, has a son who dies, and then later his kingdom is divided because he has different children from different women, and they don't agree together and they rebel against each other, and so the entire kingdom is divided.

Think about Jacob.

And with Jacob, maybe it wasn't really his fault because his father-in-law deceived him, and yet what we see is the byproduct of Jacob having multiple wives and multiple concubines where he bears children, is that these brothers learn that they don't have to get along, they're jealous of each other, and these biological brothers at one point want to kill one of their own.

Or maybe Solomon, if I would encourage you to read through Ecclesiastes, Solomon, who had a thousand women at his disposal, 700 wives and 300 concubines, I would argue that none of that went well for him.

Read through Ecclesiastes and tell me if Solomon thinks in the aftermath of all this this was a good idea.

So not to get too deep in the weeds of all this, here's what we see is that God's design is that there's complementary genders and roles, men and women, male and female, equal in value, different by design, there is monogamy that God created one spouse for Adam, and I would argue that by God's design there was stability.

And here's what I mean: that when God created Eve from Adam, that God designed Adam and Eve as complementary companions forever.

There was no plan B.

God didn't say, well, if Eve doesn't work out, if you lose your attractiveness to her, or if she has children and she doesn't look a certain way, or if you guys can't agree and figure it all out, then by the way, just let me know and I'll create someone else for you.

So there's complementary roles and genders, there's monogamy, there's stability.

And we'll talk about this in a few weeks, but part of this stability is revisited by Jesus, where he says, Let no man separate what God has joined together, that two individuals become one flesh.

There is stability in the confines of marriage.

And because of that, you leave father and mother behind.

Because of that, you now belong to someone else who will care for you and provide for you and love you.

So we see that in Genesis chapter 2, we see God's design for marriage.

Genesis 2 · chapter mention

And really what we're gonna spend the bulk of our time on the next couple weeks is God's purpose for marriage.

And here's what I would say, here's why marriage is a good gift, because God said it's not good that man should be alone.

There is a loneliness aspect in which God is meeting a need and a desire.

And what we would say, and what we're gonna talk about for the next three weeks, is that the gift of marriage to mankind is that marriage offers us intimacy.

Specifically, marriage offers us intimacy emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

So God's purpose and the goodness of the design of marriage is seen that God's purpose is that we have someone who in all three of these areas we can find intimacy with emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

Now you can find one of these in a lot of different places, but marriage is where you find all three of these together.

We're gonna talk about that over the course of the next few weeks.

And the last thing that we have to say very quickly is this one of the purposes of marriage.

It's not the only purpose, but it is one of the purposes, is that offspring, children, are produced from this relationship.

And so here's the whole recap summary today as we launch into this series, all of me, all about intimacy and where it's found in marriage and God's design and purpose for marriage is this.

Here's what I want you to hear.

It is possible to have a marriage that feels like a blessing rather than a burden.

In fact, Solomon agrees with this in Proverbs 18.

He says it this way a man who finds a wife finds a good thing.

He doesn't say a man who has a wife is miserable for all of his days.

He said a man who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.

And so as we prepare for the next three weeks, here is my encouragement, but also my challenge to you is to have this kind of marriage that feels like a blessing and not a burden.

It requires something from you.

It requires effort and it also requires a proper perspective.

My goal and my hope is that Genesis 2 becomes the foundation that shapes our perspective so that we realize this: that marriage is a good gift from a good God.

To enjoy the blessing that God intended marriage to be, we simply must learn to do marriage God's way.

That is the point of these next few weeks.

Let me pray for you.

God, we thank you for today.

Lord, we thank you for this foundational text that we find at the very beginning of our Bibles that has shaped the course of human history.

That it was not good that man would be alone.

And so you, in your goodness, gave this gift that we know as marriage, where two roles, two genders are complementary to meet not just physical needs, but also emotional and spiritual needs.

Lord, that in marriage we find a good gift from a good God where we get to experience the depths of intimacy, both emotionally, physically, but also spiritually.

Lord, help our view of marriage over the next few weeks be conformed to your view of marriage, that we would see marriage as a good gift from a good God.

This is our prayer and our desire.

We ask this in Jesus' name.

Amen.