Disciplining With Love

Take your problems this morning, turn over to Hebrews chapter 5, Hebrews chapter 5 this morning,

Hebrews 5 · chapter mention Hebrews 5 · chapter mention

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Parenting with Patience.

And part of parenting, and Father's Day I think is important because the Bible tells us that

the father sets the tone in the home.

You know, as a father you are a guide, a direction, you set a direction for the home.

That's the biblical reality that we are to live under, that the father has that influence

and that direction.

You know, and we understand the picture that is there.

And we're going to look today at a very important dynamic because unless the Lord is part of

your household, the Bible tells us that you build it in vain.

Unless the Lord gives and guides and directs, and as believers we ought to desire to listen

to what God says and not what a so-called expert might say.

Because you know what, I've learned one thing over the years, usually the designer is the

best expert on something.

If they designed it, they understand every parameter around it.

How it's to function, what it's to do, all the nuances and details of things about it.

And so this morning we're going to be looking at a very important topic when it comes to

dads and even moms.

Because it has to do with families and that's raising of our children.

But to discipline with love.

To discipline with love.

You know, that's an important element because discipline is that, because you think about

what's the purpose of discipline?

What's the purpose of disciplining a child?

That's something that every parent, everybody that works with kids needs to understand and

get a picture of what is the purpose.

What is the objective?

What did God design how for this to work?

Because some people get the idea that discipline is to punish a child for what they've done.

But it's also, when you consider biblically, it's to prepare them for who they are to become.

Punishment for just the moment is in the moment.

Now we're going to look at those things because punishment is a means of character building.

Used appropriately can be beneficial.

Because certain things need dealt with in the moment.

But when you deal with those things, we're going to see here this morning from the Word

of God that you need to understand the why are you doing it.

Are you doing it for the moment?

Are you doing it for what you want them to become?

Because what they are to become is what God designed the family to do.

Because remember, you're not raising children.

You ought to be raising mature adults.

Adults who understand and have grown and matured to do what they ought to do,

and especially in following the Lord.

And so today we're going to be looking on this Father's Day at Hebrews 12 here,

and it gives us really a parenting model.

And the model we have is God to his children.

But you know what?

The same model applies for parents today to our children.

And this is important because whether you're a parent or a grandparent,

no matter what you did or what backgrounds you came from or how things used to operate,

I want you to grab a hold of today, we need to do things God's way,

and not the world's way or some expert's way.

You know, it's always amazed me as over the years as I've looked and seen how many experts

write books about children who have never had kids.

You know?

It's like, why would you want to listen to somebody who has no experience?

Because dealing with children and disciplining them and directing them in the direction they ought to go

is a very complex thing.

It's complex in many ways.

But let's look this morning.

If you found Hebrews chapter 12,

Hebrews 12 · chapter mention

I encourage you to stand here together with me as we look together in God's Word.

And we'll read a few verses here, then we'll pray,

and then we'll get in to the message here this morning.

But look what the Word of God tells us.

And it says,

And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children.

My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord,

nor faint when thou art rebuked of him.

For whom the Lord loveth, he chasteneth,

and scourges every son whom he receiveth.

If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons.

For what son is he whom the Father chasteneth not?

But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers,

then are ye bastards and not sons.

Furthermore, we have had fathers of our flesh, which corrected us,

and we gave them reverence.

Shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits and live?

For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure.

But he for our profit that we might be partakers of his holiness.

Now, no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous.

Nevertheless, afterward, it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness

unto them which are exercised thereby.

Let's pray.

Heavenly Fathers, we come before you this morning.

Lord, as we take a few moments to look into your word here,

this principle of chastisement or correction.

Lord, that we find here of the example that you give to us.

And that, Lord, is an example of your love for us.

Lord, that you chastise your children.

Lord, you don't treat us evil or against what is for our benefit.

But, Lord, as we look at these things today,

Lord, help us to grab a hold of those things in a mighty way of just the principles of your word,

that that might be the driving factor in all that we do.

And, Lord, we ask it all in your precious name.

Amen.

You may be seated.

As we look today, when it comes to discipline and disciplining children,

there's a lot of different ideas out there today.

And I think oftentimes parents are oftentimes afraid to discipline.

We live in a culture where parents are sometimes afraid to discipline their children.

Sometimes laziness may be an element for some,

but a lot of times I think parents are just afraid.

They don't know what to do or how to do it to make sure that it's accomplished in the right way.

And sometimes that's because of the direction and the information they've been given.

They're afraid because they've been told over and over that,

well, if you correct them, you're going to hurt little Johnny's feelings.

Or, you know, you're going to warp them in some ideology of a mental capacity of some kind.

And we find here that culture has pushed that direction.

You know, we find for decades the culture around us has prized a child's comfort over a child's character.

You know, the objective of raising up children is to give them character.

Now, they may be a character, but they need to have character.

There's a difference.

Okay?

Now, when we look at that reality of character,

until the very word discipline sometimes gets twisted around,

because oftentimes when people hear discipline, they hear cruelty.

That's the mindset.

And there are some cases of that that take place.

That's very real.

And we understand that dynamic of physical correction.

Some people automatically connect any type of physical correction with abuse.

I want you to understand there's a difference.

There's a distinct difference.

And we need to understand what that difference is and how it's different

when it comes to discipline.

Because we can oftentimes get caught up in that idea or imagery,

and we're worried about those things.

You know, we find parents today are afraid of corporal punishment

because they're afraid somebody might turn them in.

Now, I want you to understand that while that may be a legitimate thing,

it doesn't remove your responsibility before God to deal with your children correctly.

To understand that what God has instructed us is more important than anything else.

Because when a mother or a father who gives even measured loving correction,

you know, I'm a firm believer in corporal punishment,

but it ought not to be administered in anger,

it ought to be administered in patience with direction.

Because we're going to look here today that sometimes a little bit of pain goes a long ways

in the moment to deal with the thought process.

And it's a means of communicating the right thing that's short-lived

in a sense that it's not causing them a harm,

but it's getting their attention to understand that choices have consequences.

And we have to balance those things because when we understand that God's Word does not blur the line

between discipline and abuse,

because correction given in anger or rage is sin.

I want you to understand that has to do with the heart of the person administering.

What's your purpose?

You know, for years we've had a lot of that where people disciplined out of their own anger

instead of looking to say,

how is this benefiting to build the character of the child?

What's the purpose behind it?

How does that play out?

And we're going to look at some of these things here this morning

that this generation that we live in

has quietly set loving correction down

and picked up negotiation, explanation, and distraction in its place.

We're going to find here in Hebrews chapter 12,

Hebrews 12 · chapter mention

here we're going to find here,

it answers that fear head on.

The Bible makes it very clear that God disciplines those that He loves.

So in other words, discipline and love are connected.

And we need to understand how those are connected by the image

and the representation of how God deals with us.

Because I want you to understand as parents,

that Word of God gives you permission to discipline your children without guilt.

Whatever fear has hindered you from doing what you ought to do,

you need to understand that the truth of God's Word

ought to set you free of those things.

To correct your child in love is not harm,

it's the very thing your Heavenly Father does for you.

You know, we need to realize when you're training a child,

it's helping them understand even how God corrects them.

And God will correct you if you're His child.

You say, preacher, why would He do that?

Because He loves you.

He understands that there's parameters,

there's things that set dynamics around you,

there's a fence that protects you.

You know, isn't that the reason we have fences?

It's for protection.

Keep certain things in and other things out.

God's Word gives us the placement of that fence in our life.

We need to teach our children that God does the same thing

and allow them to see that by building those things into their life.

And to understand there's no better day than Father's Day to say,

no matter what was in my past,

I want to move forward in the truth of God's Word.

Whether it's giving advice to people or helping people

or being a parent yourself and saying,

how do I do this properly?

Because, you know, that's the best thing you can do for your children

is to raise them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord,

correcting them and guiding them into what God would have.

And so we need to grab a hold of that reality.

You know, the Bible tells us in John 15,

the Word of God tells us this.

I want you to understand, notice what it tells us here in John 15.

It says,

I am the true vine, and the Father is the husbandman.

And every branch in me that beareth not fruit,

he taketh away.

And every branch that beareth fruit,

he purges it that it may bring forth more fruit.

You know what?

John chapter 15, Jesus is talking to his disciples.

John 15 · chapter mention

He's talking to them as a father to a child dynamic,

but he's using an analogy of a husbandman

who has vines and says,

these vines need to be guided, directed,

they need to be purged.

Purging is that same dynamic of correction,

that dynamic of cutting off.

There is some dynamic, you might say,

of pain implied, discomfort implied,

not out of cruelty, but out of benefit.

To say there's a purpose behind it,

so it might bring forth more fruit

because of the guidance of those things.

It's the father who holds the pruning knife,

and notice which branch he cuts.

He's not talking about the dead one,

but the branch he cuts is the one that's bearing fruit,

that it will still bear more fruit.

Nobody thinks about pruning a bush as hurting the bush.

We understand that when you prune correctly,

what's it do?

It helps it multiply, helps it to grow.

The same thing is with your children.

We need to look at it,

is how am I helping through this to help them to grow?

Help them to mature,

to become who God wants them to be.

Because the God who is our perfect father

shows us what loving discipline looks like.

Not in theory, but in his own dealings with us.

You know, I want you to understand this morning,

if you've never been chastised by God,

you need to check your salvation.

That one I will say.

Because you know what?

The Bible makes it very clear that God chastises those that are his

because he wants them to be sanctified.

He wants them to mature and grow in the Lord.

There's going to be correction,

because we're going to need course correction during life.

But I want you to understand,

first thing here this morning,

is look here in Hebrews chapter 12, verse 6.

Hebrews 12:6

Notice what it says,

For whom the Lord loveth,

he chasteneth and scourges every son whom he receiveth.

Point number one this morning is this,

discipline is an expression of love, not anger.

You know what gets discipline in trouble with parents?

Is anger.

When you react with anger instead of control,

with patience,

we talked about that last week,

it's an important dynamic to grab a hold of

that the Lord loves us and he chastens us.

You know, love and discipline are not opposites.

Matter of fact, I want you to understand,

love and discipline are inseparable.

Because if you don't discipline your children,

you don't love them.

Parents today let their kids just do whatever they want to do.

You know what?

That's not love.

That's actually the opposite.

Because you're allowing them to go and to do

and to act in ways that are contrary

to them being able to grow up and mature

into the adults that God wants them to be.

Because a father who refuses to discipline his child

does not love him more, he loves him less.

You know, take a look over to Proverbs chapter 13.

Proverbs 13 · chapter mention

Proverbs chapter 13 and verse 24.

Proverbs 13 · chapter mention

The Bible makes it very clear.

It says,

He that spareth his rod does what?

Hateth his son.

But he that loveth him chases him betimes.

In other words, diligently,

he chastens them appropriately.

He chases them when the moment

and the direction is correct.

The discipline of love is motivated

by care for this child's future,

not frustration over the child's present.

You know, oftentimes we discipline in the present

but lose sight of the distance.

Where's this taking them to the future?

With that in mind,

it'll change what you do.

It'll change how you react.

It'll change what's guiding you.

That you might do that in the right dynamic with love.

You know, think for a moment.

Very familiar story.

And it's kind of good this morning

as we're looking at a nice ocean scene

and all the things that are going on here.

But you know, the book of Jonah.

Jonah.

God disciplined Jonah.

Jonah went a direction opposite

of what God instructed him.

God told, came to Jonah and said,

Jonah, you're to go to Nineveh

and preach that destruction's gonna come to the city

if they don't repent.

What did Jonah do?

He ran.

He ran fast.

He tried to run far.

Matter of fact, I think he made himself

thinking he got the escape.

Because it's kind of funny

that he was asleep in the ship

when the rest of the ship's waving around

like he's comfortable with where he's at.

Do an opposite of what God instructed him to do.

And we find out as we go through that account,

we won't take time to read it all this morning.

But we know the Bible says

a great fish took up Jonah

when they threw him overboard.

Now let me ask you a question.

What was God's purpose in that fish?

Was it punishment or was it rescuing him?

I want you to understand

when God disciplines his children,

the goal is always restoration,

not condemnation.

What was God doing with Jonah through that?

He wanted to get Jonah back on track.

Now I want you to understand

that sometimes correction's not comfortable.

If correction was comfortable,

would it have any effect upon you?

Think about it for a moment.

As human beings,

where do we react or change?

Do we react in comfort to change?

Do we change when things are comfortable?

No, we don't, do we?

We're perfectly content to stay comfortable.

But when things are uncomfortable

is when we start contemplating,

considering when change needs to happen.

And we see that God does that.

So when you think about

when you discipline your child,

what's the goal?

Ask yourself before you act,

am I responding to my frustration

or am I responding to my child's need?

You know, I'll be honest with you this morning.

As a dad, there were some times

that it was out of frustration

instead of my children.

You know why?

As a dad sometimes,

I want you to understand

as an earthly dad,

sometimes we don't do what we ought to do.

The important thing is you recognize that

and you take correction.

Because we're going to look here a little bit

that God even points that out

a little later here

as we read earlier

about a earthly father who corrects us

because sometimes an earthly father corrects

because of what they want

instead of what's best for the child

and understanding those things.

You know, I want to encourage you this morning

because discipline rooted in love

can sometimes wait a minute

to make sure it's love that's speaking.

You know, as a parent,

I encourage you to slow down

and ask yourself that question.

When your child needs correction,

what, why, and how am I doing this?

Is it being done from my frustration

or because I want to direct them

in a direction that's going to benefit their future?

Do you think it would change a generation

if all the parents followed that?

It would change an entire generation.

But we see here, number two,

here this morning,

look down at verse 11

and he tells us this.

He says,

Now no chastening for the present

seemeth to be joyous, but grievous.

Nevertheless, afterwards,

it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness

unto them that are exercised thereby.

You know, here's an honest verse for sure.

There's no question about it

when God tells us this,

that chastening correction

is not joyous, but grievous.

Correction always involves

something that's going to make you uncomfortable.

It may even include pain.

Because you know what?

Those are the things that get our attention.

But notice what it says.

It may hurt in the moment,

but afterwards,

it bears the peaceable fruit of what?

Righteousness.

That's the goal.

When we understand the purpose of discipline

is not only immediate compliance,

but long-term character.

You know,

we want to look for things long-term.

You know,

when we know and understand

that it's not just about,

we want to build in our children

self-control

and accountability

and the ability to live under authority.

You know,

we live in a generation

that has been told something

that's very destructive.

When a child gets told

the authority is themselves

and then you match it

with another philosophy,

follow your heart.

You know,

those two things sound like

they work out well.

Not by a chance,

do they?

Instead of what sounds like

for their benefit

becomes their destruction.

Because what are they following?

They're following something

that's counter

to what's going to benefit them.

to live under authority.

You know,

we need to understand

the dynamic of authority

and maybe we'll have to talk

about this a little later

because I don't have time

to get into it this morning.

But for your children

to understand

how authority works

and what's appropriate authority

is important.

Because you know what

the opposite of living

under authority is?

Rebellion.

You know,

I've yet to see a parent

that says,

I want to raise my kids

to be rebellious.

But oftentimes,

the very choices they make,

that's what they're promoting.

And then they're upset

that they got rebellious children.

It wasn't that

your child in itself was bad.

Sometimes it has to do

with the parenting.

Because as you understand

this morning,

we talked last week

a little bit about

gentle parenting.

And how sometimes

even the dynamic

of this pendulum

that we see in society,

society never seems

to land on the right direction.

You know,

we saw,

we talked last week

about where we had

a very dynamic

where people almost

promoted abuse

to a pendulum swing

the other way

where,

just talk to Johnny,

it'll be fine.

I want you to understand

both of those

are counter to what God wants.

God doesn't,

God's word

doesn't swing a pendulum,

it gives you

the pointed truth.

it gives you

a direction to go.

And we understand

that this gentle

parenting mindset

prizes warmth

and connection

and even wants

what scripture wants

in a way

because it wants

to form

a formed heart

in your child

not merely

out of outward compliance,

but we understand

there is where

we part ways

is over the kind

of correction

it calls for.

You know,

we want to have

a connection

with our kids

we need to know

that they need to know

that you love them.

But passive correction

will not get them

the direction

and understanding

of security

and love

that they need.

Direct correction

is what's needed.

Sometimes you need

to address the point

pointedly.

Don't beat around

the bush.

You know,

sometimes we even

do that with adults

and sometimes

it gets us

in trouble

because we don't

want to actually

just call it out.

You know,

we want to have

all sorts of

sort of euthanisms

and everything else

that we have

to try to say

this is this

or that's that

and they're just

saying this is

what it is.

You know,

there's an account

in the Old Testament

with King David

and a man

by the name

of Nathan.

That account

can give us

a good dynamic

because I want you

to see what

Nathan did.

If you remember

that story,

Nathan came

and told David

about an account

of an individual

who was taking

abuse of somebody

who didn't have

as much as them

and he goes

through this

whole spill

about how

all these things

come together

because what he did

is he played it out

to the fact

that David

would understand

because David

got upset.

You know,

he says,

where's this guy?

This needs to be

corrected.

But that's where

it gets direct

because what

did Nathan do?

Thou art the man.

That's direct

correction

to say,

hey,

it's you

and you need

to deal with it.

You know,

you can't pass

the buck.

It's not somebody

else's fault.

The motive

behind a gentler

correction

is empathy.

They want,

you want to feel

what your child

feels

and spare them

the hurt.

But I want you

to understand this.

Empathy cannot

do the hard

thing

and it's not

compassion.

There's a difference

between compassion

and empathy.

Compassion

is built

out of love

doing what's

needful

and not just

what feels

good.

We need people

of compassion

not of empathy.

I've talked

about that

before.

We live in a

generation that

lives by empathy.

Empathy is not

a good word.

It sounds good

but it really

isn't doing

what it says

it does.

Compassion

means I have

a loving

care for the

outcome

and I will

do what's

needed

to help

them

that they

might get

accomplished

and go

to the

direction

that they

need to

go.

Compassion

says I

want a

solution

to the

problem

and not

wather

with them

in the

problem.

Empathy

says let's

wather together

in the mud.

compassion

says let me

help you

out of the

mud and

clean you

up.

I'm glad

God has

compassion.

I'm glad

God doesn't

have empathy.

He doesn't

want to

come

wather in

the mud

with us.

He doesn't

want to

come

wather in

sin.

He says

I want

to lift

you up

out of

that.

that.

That's

the same

dynamic

because

compassion

cares

enough to

do what

is right

even when

it grieves

the individual

empathy.

The other

problem you

have with

that in

today's

world

is that

the child

will never

learn that

actions have

consequences,

that boundaries

are real,

and that

character is

built through

difficulty and

not around

it.

Notice what

it tells us

here in our

text.

Look back

in verse

11.

It says

this,

it says

nevertheless

afterwards

it yielded

the peaceable

fruit of

what?

Righteousness.

That which

is right.

You know

today we

have a lot

of parents

who want

to remove

consequences.

You know

what the

problem is

with our

kids and

our schools?

Is we

don't have

parents that

want to hold

their kids

accountable.

They don't

want to live

under

authority.

And understand

that person

is there,

that teacher

is there to

give them

something that

they need to

be prepared

for life.

When a kid

doesn't get

an A, it's

probably because

they didn't

earn it.

Let me give

you another

clue.

Even if they

earned it and

the teacher

didn't give

it, I want

you to

understand it's

going to build

character in

them because

you can do

everything right

and still not

get the right

outcome.

you're

teaching them

some lessons

in life.

That's the

goal of

parenting.

Parenting

isn't to

coddle,

it's to

correct and

to guide.

Disciplining

in love

says I

want to,

I'm looking

long term.

You know

what God

does in

your life

when he

corrects

you?

He's

looking

long term.

He's

looking in

your

spiritual,

mental,

physical

development

that you

might become

more like

him.

That's

called the

process of

sanctification.

You know

today as

parents are

you disciplined

towards character?

Thinking about

who your

child is

becoming?

Or only

compliance?

Because the

long view

changes the

method and

the tone.

Here's the

test in the

next hard

moment.

Did your

child pass

through a

real consequence

or did you

rescue him

from it?

Because

understand,

look back up

in verse 10

as we look

here in our

text in

Hebrews chapter

Hebrews 12 · chapter mention

12.

Notice what

it says,

for verily for

a few days

chastening us

after their

own pleasure

but for our

profit that

we might be

partakers of

his holiness.

Let's

understand,

effective

discipline

requires

consistency

and grace.

Here this

verse contrasts

human discipline

which sometimes

is inconsistent

and self-serving.

You know

as a parent

sometimes you

can be

inconsistent.

Sometimes you'll

do things because

it's self-serving

it's what benefits

me but you

know the good

part is?

Is when God

disciplines you

it's not about

him, it's about

you.

Why?

Because nobody

loves you

like God

loves you.

We need to

understand the

picture.

God's discipline

is always

purposeful and

aimed for our

profit or benefit

making us

partakers of

his holiness.

You know as a

human father you

might discipline

imperfectly but

we need to

understand that

we still need to

discipline with

as much

intentionality and

consistency as

grace allows.

Because you

know what

happens?

Oftentimes this

is another

dynamic is you

have an

inconsistency in

the household.

You know pretty

much I would

say you could

talk to April

too but I

think April and

I did a pretty

good job at

this and that

was always being

on the same

page.

Because you know

what kids love

to do?

Have you ever

noticed this?

You don't even

have to teach

them?

Mom tells

them no.

Where do they

go next?

Sometimes grandma

needs a spanking.

They go to the

other parent.

What are they

looking for?

Inconsistencies.

That's the reason

as a parent you

need to be on

the same page.

Because inconsistency

causes a problem.

Permissive parenting

is nothing new but

it's become a

cultural default for

our generation.

You know what

happens when you're

inconsistent?

It's whatever the

moment calls for

will allow.

Instead of saying

no this is the

boundaries.

When we understand

that it's not the

path of least

resistance because

when you do that

you avoid hard

conversations.

You soften the

consequence and

you prize your

child's happiness

today over what

they ought to

become.

You know take a

look over into

Proverbs chapter

Proverbs 29 · chapter mention

29.

Proverbs 29

and verse 15.

Notice what it

tells us here.

The rod and

reproof give

wisdom but a

child left to

himself bringeth

his mother to

shame.

Boy there's a lot

of truth to that.

You know what it's

telling me?

There was an

inconsistency.

You know consistent

discipline asks of

you something that

our culture doesn't

value.

The willingness to

be a parent not a

friend.

You know I want

you to understand

your job as a

parent is not to

be your kid's

friend.

There's a lot of

messed up

relationships because

people want their

kids to be their

friends instead of

you being their

parent.

I want you to

understand a

parent-child

relationship is a

distinct relationship

from a friendship

because you are not

peers.

There's a distinct

established relationship

that's there.

Now I want you to

understand when your

kids get to be

adults you'll have to

enjoy time together.

I'm not saying you

can't do that but

there's always got to

understand there is a

distinct dynamic that

takes place.

Your mom or dad is not

your buddy.

I want you to

understand if mom or

dad is their buddy you

know what they do?

They look at God like

their buddy.

God is not your buddy.

He's your loving

heavenly father who

came and died for

your sin.

He loved you enough to

step outside of his

comfort for your

benefit.

When we understand

that need of

consistency.

You know we talked

last week about

Eli.

The Bible tells us

that his sons made

themselves vile and he

restrained them not.

You know that's a

great picture of what

Eli did wrong.

It's not that he

didn't try to correct

them but he didn't

continue to guide them.

He didn't hold them

to account.

Because discipline is

more than setting the

standard.

It's enforcing the

standard.

Establishing those

things.

You know let me ask

the parents in here

this morning what are

two or three non

negotiable standards in

your home?

You know you think

about that for a

moment.

Do you have and do

your kids know?

Better yet if I went

downstairs and asked

your kids what are

some things your

parents absolutely

hold to?

Because if you have

non-negotiable standards

in your household your

kids will know them.

You know how I know

because that's what

they're listening to all

the time.

That's the direction.

That's the guidance.

When we understand are

they enforced

consistently?

You know one thing I

want to encourage you is

ask your spouse to hold

you accountable because

discipline works best

when both parents are

aligned.

There's a lot of

challenges in that today

with the type of family

dynamics that many kids

grow up in.

You know one of the

results we see in

society today is because

of divorce.

And the sad thing I see

with a lot of divorce

couples is they're not

even on the same page of

raising their children.

Well I get to do this

at dad's and mom doesn't

let me do this and mom

lets me do this and dad

doesn't do that.

You know what that does?

That destroys children.

That's the destructiveness.

You know even if two

parents can't see fit to

reconcile you know what

ought to unite them and

their children.

To say I want them to

have something better than

what I have.

I want to be consistent.

Not because I don't want

to get even with my

spouse or something else.

I want to be what's best

for my children.

That'd make a big change

in society.

When we understand the

picture of what God has

for us.

Because understand this

morning you know because

when it talks about God

being our heavenly father

God's not everybody's

father.

Jesus said to many you

of your father the devil.

Why did he say that?

Because we are born with

a sin nature that's

counter to the things of

God.

God becomes your heavenly

father the moment you

call upon Jesus Christ

the only begotten son of

God that died on the

cross of Calvary for you.

The Bible says Jesus when

he was talking to

Nicodemus used that term

you must be what?

Born again.

What's he talking about?

Being born into God's

family.

You're born into God's

family at the moment you

recognize you're a sinner

and need a savior and

call upon him.

You're now a member of

God's family.

You're part of the family.

He is now your heavenly

father.

But I want you to

understand God loved you

enough even before he was

your heavenly father to

say I'm going to provide

a way for you to become

my child.

You know what it's called

when a father accepts

a child that wasn't his

naturally.

You're adopted.

You know the Bible says

you're adopted in at the

moment of salvation.

What a powerful picture.

If you've never understood

the reality of salvation

I encourage you today to

call upon him because he

is the one.

He didn't come to

condemn you.

He came to set you free.

That he might be your

loving heavenly father.

father.

But this morning I want to

challenge fathers here on

Father's Day but also just

parents.

I want you to understand

that don't take this

discouragingly but just a

reality.

You will not parent

perfectly.

We are not God.

You may not parent

perfectly but I encourage

you to parent faithfully.

to be faithful to the

things of God.

Because God does not

require your perfection.

He requires your presence,

your consistency,

and your love.

You know Psalm 103 says

this,

As a father pitieth his

children, so the Lord

pitieth them that fear him.

So trust the process that

God has laid out.

But I want you also to let

this free you.

Even the perfect father's

discipline yields its

fruit only, notice back in

verse 11, to them that are

exercised thereby.

As a parent your charge is

faithfulness.

But I'm going to tell you

something very clearly.

Your child's choice is their

own.

You know sometimes as

parents when our kids don't

do what we think we raised

them to do, we start asking

all sorts of weird

questions.

But the only question you

ought to ask, did I do

what I should have done

the right way?

Because you know what the

Bible tells us?

That child has a choice.

The prodigal son, the

father understood the

child had a choice.

And sometimes you got to

allow them to make their

choice.

But it ought not to change

who you are or what you

do.

You need to be consistent.

You can hold the line with

love, but your son or

daughter must still choose

to submit to the things

of God.

If you've been faithful and

those things that harvest

of that, you know, that if

we're faithful to those

things, has not yet come, I

want to encourage you, don't

carry guilt that belongs to a

choice only your child can

make.

Keep sowing, keep loving,

keep believing, keep trusting

God and following the truth

of His Word.

As heads are bowed and eyes

are closed this morning, maybe

God spoke to your heart this

morning.

Maybe as a parent there's some

things that you say, Lord, I

need your forgiveness.

Maybe it's even you have to go

maybe a little later today you

need to go and talk to your

kids and say, hey, I was

wrong.

Maybe you seem to spend some

time with the Lord.

Maybe that child that's way

where you just need to take

some time and say, Lord, spark

those things they've been

taught.

Lord, help me, though, to be

consistent.

This morning, whatever the need

might be, whether it's to come

to the Father that loves you and

cares for you, that wants you to

be His child.

Or if you're His child and

you're struggling with those

other things, maybe you're

struggling with kids today,

whether they're little ones,

whether they're two or 40.

Will you turn that over to the

Lord and say, Lord, help me to

do my part.

Heavenly Fathers, we just come to

you this morning once again,

Lord, knowing the truth of your

Word.

Lord, your Word is what sets us

free as we guide and are guided

and directed by the truth of

your Word.

Lord, we pray just be with each

one here today.

Lord, you know each situation.

You know the details that nobody

else knows.

But Lord, I pray that you would

encourage and challenge and even

convict, Lord, because your

chastening is for a reason.

Lord, I pray that you just work

mightily in an opportunity for

each one here today to come to

you, humbly just seeking your

direction and your guidance.

Lord, if there's one here today

that doesn't understand what it

means to be truly your child,

that they might get that settled

in their heart today, that we

might not leave and go out those

doors the same way we came in.

And Lord, we ask it all in your

precious name.

Amen.

As piano plays, what about you

today?

Amen.

Amen.