He Is Good | Jesus Can Satisfy | Mark 6:30-44 | Coleton Segars

We are in a series right now as a church going through the Gospel of Mark titled He is Good because Mark titles his gospel that way.

This is the good news, the beginning of the good news of Jesus.

And so been looking at this for a while, trying to understand each week in what ways is Mark trying to describe how Jesus is good.

And so this week we're going to look at the feeding of the 5,000.

So this is Mark 6, verses 30 through 44.

Mark 6:30–44

Mark writes, The apostles gathered around Jesus and reported to him all they had done and taught.

Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, Jesus said to them, Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.

And so they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place.

But many who saw them leaving recognized them and ran on foot from all the towns and got there ahead of them.

When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd.

And so he began teaching them many things.

By this time it was late in the day, so his disciples came to him.

Send the people away so that they can go to the surrounding countryside and villages and buy themselves something to eat.

But Jesus answered them, You give them something to eat.

They said to him, That would take more than a half the year wage.

Are we to go and spend that much on bread and then give it to them to eat?

How many loaves do you have?

He asked.

When they found out, they said, Five and two fish.

Then Jesus directed them to have all the people sit down in groups on the green grass.

And so they sat down in groups of hundreds and fifties, and taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves.

And he gave them to his disciples to distribute to all the people.

He also divided the two fish among them all, and they all ate and were satisfied.

And the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces of bread and fish.

And the number of men who had eaten that day was five thousand.

This is the word of the Lord.

And I think having a coach is a good thing.

If Michael Phelps had one and he was an Olympic swimmer, I should probably have one, you know.

And so one of the questions that they ask is like, at the end of your career, like, what do you want to be said at the end of your of your time as a pastor?

What do you what do you want?

Let's begin with the end in mind.

What do you want to be said?

And uh it was a great question.

And I love reflective questions.

And one of the things that I said was like, I I really would love for it to be said.

Um, my my goal is like, I want, I think people genuinely in our space and time need to be convinced and filled with confidence that God genuinely is very real and that he loves them like beyond they could possibly understand.

If Paul says we need special power by the Spirit to understand the love of God that he has for us.

And so if there is a way to lead people throughout the ministry that I have, to lead them to be like, I did not know he loved me as much as he does.

And it used to be an ideal, like, for God so loved the world, it used to be this ideal, but now I live in this reality that like he, there's something there.

There's this, there's this love that I experience from him that I walk in in the midst of my sin, in the midst of my struggling, in the midst of my good days and my bad days, and the mountaintops and the valleys and all the rest of it.

I he is like obsessed with me in a way that loves me so, so much.

Um, and I want that love to be fascinating.

And so I want it to have many facets.

I want it to not just be like, again, this a random rote, yeah, God loves me.

I want it to be like, man, it's this felt experience thing.

Uh, and I say that today because what I want to do in this text and from this text is really draw out three things that I really do hope um leads you to that space.

Because I think what you see here between Jesus and the disciples, and Jesus and the people, is this incredible love that he has for them.

He's filled with compassion for them, and it leads him to do this thing that nobody wants to do or even thinks is possible.

But he has this space with them.

It's like there's something he's filled with that he is able to pour out onto the people and onto the disciples.

And so, what I want to do today is try and that's the goal of my ministry.

That's what I'm trying to do.

I want you all to learn to love him and be like, I love him so much, but I feel this love that he has for me, and I walk in a confidence that nothing can shake me because he loves me so much.

Um, I want that to happen.

And so I'm gonna try and do that today from this passage.

So all I want to do is I'm gonna look at um three things that we see in this passage that may be contrarian, maybe like he loves me and he's asking that of me.

Um, but I want us to see how Jesus loves us in the midst of it.

Okay, the first is first thing that we see is that Jesus, if you follow him, if you're around him, if you're with him, Jesus will call you to illogical obedience.

He will call you to things that just don't make any sense, and you will probably say, That makes no sense.

I God is number one priority.

That's exactly right.

It's just people prophesying from their phones.

I'm in.

That's it.

Amen.

All right, let's take communion.

I love it.

Jesus will call us to illogical obedience.

You see this in the text.

Verse 35, by this time it's late, the disciples have this great idea.

It's actually a very common idea.

It's an idea that we would all come up with, very normal idea, very reasonable.

Um, and they're looking out for the people.

This is a this is a this is the wilderness, a remote place.

It's already late.

Send the people away.

They're hungry, let them go buy some food.

But then Jesus answers them, I tell you what we do.

Why don't you give them something to eat?

And it's this illogical thing that they ask, that he asks of them.

And they say to him that basically that, like, hey, that's crazy.

That doesn't make any sense.

That would take more than half a year's wage.

Um, are we supposed to go and buy bread and actually then spend all that money on the bread and then give it to the people?

Is that what we're supposed to do?

Like, this makes no sense.

And it's a long way of asking, a little disrespectfully, but trying to be like, but you're also our rabbi and we're supposed to follow you.

This doesn't make any sense.

Mark Strauss in his commentary says, five loaves and two fish.

It's a mere pittance in view of the number of people to be fed.

The loaves, John tells us, were barley loaves, unlike our Martin loaves of bread that some of you have, where you actually have like a huge chunk of bread.

These are barley loaves.

They were flat and round, about eight inches in diameter, and could scarcely feed more than one person.

And so what Mark Strauss is saying, and what Mark is alluding to is like, here's what this can feed.

This can feed seven people.

And the disciples are going, we have enough food for seven people, pretty much.

Um, we could break it into smaller bites, and then everybody gets a bite, but we definitely don't have enough where they can be filled and be satisfied.

We don't have any of that.

This doesn't make any sense.

This is what Jesus calls them into, and God has consistently done this through the scriptures.

If you read the scriptures at all, what you see God do throughout the Bible is ask people to do things that are like, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

So, for instance, Noah, go to this next slide here, just a couple.

Uh oh, maybe I don't have it.

Noah, build a boat.

There's gonna be a flood, and it's like, well, it's never rained, so I don't know what that means in Noah's day.

Everything was fed from the ground water, there was no rain in that particular space, so it's like, there's gonna be a flood.

I don't know what that means.

Build a boat, never seen one.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I don't know what this is.

This doesn't make any sense.

Abraham, keep trying to have children with your wife.

Uh Sarah, even though you're both almost about a hundred years old.

Like, hey, keep doing that.

I was like, that's illogical.

That doesn't make any sense.

Like, we're past the age of doing that.

And God's like, no, no, that's what I want you to do.

Moses, raise your, he actually does this to Moses a lot.

Raise your staff over the Red Sea to part the water so that Israel can walk through on dry ground.

That's the command.

What do you want me to do?

There's an army of Egyptians coming at me.

There's a giant sea behind me.

What do I do?

It's like, take your hands and just stick them in the air with that stick you got in your hand, and I'll take care of the rest.

And it's like, this is the wildest thing that anybody's like, what is this actually going to accomplish?

What is this gonna do?

He makes them do it again and again to uh in all the different um things that the Egyptians experience while he's leading them through.

It's like, raise your staff, throw a stick into the water.

That will make the water uh able to be drunk, and then everybody's gonna be able to actually have their uh thorough satiated.

Like, this doesn't make any sense.

He's consistently doing this.

Joshua, here's what I want you to do.

I want you to march around Jericho one time, and then I want you to do it seven times, and then the walls are gonna fall down.

Mark, that's how we're gonna defeat them.

I want you to do that thing.

Gideon, if you remember Gideon, just you're gonna go fight the Midianites.

I need you to take 300 soldiers.

You got too many, just take 300, and here's what you're gonna fight with.

You know, this clay pots, you're gonna take a clay pot.

You're not actually gonna throw it at anybody or hit anybody with it, you're gonna smash it yourself, and you're gonna have a torch, and it's gonna be great.

You're gonna win.

And Gideon is probably like, what are you talking about?

Like, this is crazy.

This is never gonna work.

This is so illogical.

This doesn't make any sense.

Naaman the leper, uh, he's he's this leper uh that rolls up to a prophet and he's like, Hey, I I want to be, I want to be healed.

And the prophet comes to him, he's like, Okay, you want to be healed, great.

Here's what you do.

Go just take a swim in the Jordan River and you'll be fine.

And Naaman is furious.

He's like, that is the dumbest thing.

And his servant, Naaman's servant, servant, has to come to him and say, Look, you you've been wanting a cure for this thing.

And if the if he had asked like this great thing of you, like scale this mountain, do this thing, it could have been as crazy as possible, but he asks you to do this thing that seems dumb and simple and illogical, and all of a sudden you get offended.

He's like, just do it.

I know it seems stupid, but just do it.

And then he does it and he's healed over and over and over again.

God calls his people.

If you are in relationship with him, he will call you into circumstances and to do things that do not make sense.

But over and over and over again, they experience incredible things that happen, incredible things that happen by doing illogical things.

They experience incredible things by doing the illogical things.

The stuff that he calls them into, he's like, I'm actually leading you to a space, but you gotta do this thing.

It's like, well, that thing doesn't make any sense.

He's like, Well, I never said it made sense.

I just, I need you to do it, then I can lead you into this incredible space that I have for you.

Jesus does the same thing.

John 2, he's like, fill some jars with water.

We need wine.

And it's like, this is water.

Like, we don't need more water, we need wine.

He's like, I know, fill the jars with water, just fill it to the top.

And then in Luke 5, he goes to Peter and he's like, Hey, I know you've been fishing all day, and I know this is a terrible time of the day to fish.

I know that we're in the wrong spot to catch fish, but here's what I need you to do.

I need you to throw your nets in on this side of the boat.

And Peter's like, that doesn't make any sense.

We've been doing this all night.

Um, you're clearly a rabbi and not a fisherman.

This is dumb.

Um but what he says is he's like, but because you said it, because you commanded me to do this thing, I'll do it.

Matthew 17, this is just an odd one.

Uh he has to pay the temple tax.

Jesus and Peter have to pay the temple tax.

And in Matthew 17, Jesus says to Peter, like, hey, here's what you do.

We got to go pay the temple tax?

Perfect.

Run out, throw a line in to catch one fish.

The first fish you catch, there'll be money in that fish's mouth.

Just stag the money and then you'll pay the temple tax with that.

And like, if like I think, like, we read it and then we pass over it, and it's like, oh, that's what an interesting story.

But like, if if somebody would have said that to you, like, that's a mental patient.

Whoever gave you that command is a crazy person.

Go fish, snag the money out of the fish's mouth, and then it'll happen.

Like, you're a nut.

Like, this doesn't make any sense.

This is so illogical.

And yet they experience incredible things through doing these illogical things.

And I think this is what Jesus still calls us to do.

I think some of the stuff that he calls us into, it's not feeding the 5,000, but some of the things that he's asking you to do in your life and the things that he's asking me to do in my life come across as very illogical.

Like that doesn't make any sense.

I don't think that's gonna work.

I don't think it's gonna change anything.

I don't think this is gonna work.

So for us, he says, come to come to me and I'll give you rest for your soul.

Like, actually, I think rest for my soul would be more money.

I think rest for my soul would be getting married.

I think rest for my soul would be my children behaving in any capacity whatsoever.

I think rest for my soul would be my boss dying.

I think rest for my soul would, you know, like you could just come up with other things that might do it.

It's like, no, no, no, just go to him.

Just go to him, he'll give you rest for your soul.

It's like that doesn't sound logical.

He calls us to do good to those who've been cruel to us, do good to them.

It's like, no, I think I'm gonna hit him with a bat.

I'm gonna do that, and then you know, maybe somebody else will be nice to them.

But I don't think that's gonna do anything.

That's very illogical.

Give generously even when it's a sacrifice.

I don't have any money to give.

Yeah, I want you to give.

I want you to give, anyways.

I don't have, I don't have enough.

I don't know how I'm gonna.

I want you to give generously.

I want you to trust me with that.

That's illogical, I know.

But I want you to to do those things.

I want you to forgive those who sinned against you.

Forgive them.

They don't deserve my forgiveness.

They're not asking for my forgiveness.

That's illogical.

I want you to forgive them.

That's what I want you to do.

Confess your sins one to another.

Don't hide them, confess them one to another.

What will that do?

That's illogical.

Confess them.

Don't be anxious, but pray about everything.

What will prayer do with my anxiety?

Like, medication helps anxiety, not prayer.

It's like, I'm just telling you.

Might sound illogical.

Don't worry about your life.

Seek first the kingdom of God, and all things will be added to you.

That doesn't make any sense.

Like, I sure certainly I should care for my life right now.

Certainly I should do some things for me.

And I'm not saying we shouldn't live without wisdom, but he is very clear.

I'm asking you to do something that may not make any sense, but I promise you, I am trying to lead you into incredible spaces by doing illogical things.

Don't retaliate, turn the other cheek.

If you want to become great, become a servant of all.

If something causes you to sin, cut it off, pluck it out, do what you can to flee from sexual immorality, and on and on and on and on and on.

He leads us into this space where he's like, I know that this doesn't make sense and it doesn't feel like it's gonna do anything.

And as ridiculous and as illogical as these things may sound, I think what he's saying is like, I know what it sounds like, but I'm trying as much as I possibly can to lead you into something.

And the disciples are the same here.

I mean, they just I'm trying to do something amazing among you, but what it sounds like is take five barley loaves and two fish and feed 5,000 people plus.

Like this doesn't make any sense.

And he's like, I never said it was gonna make sense.

I'm just telling you that I want to do something better than what you could possibly imagine is available to you.

And the way to do that thing is to begin moving towards me in obedience.

I think one of the best things that we can say when Jesus asks us to do something that's illogical, one of the best things that we can say is what Peter said.

He's like, Look, that's crazy, but because you said it, I'll do it.

Like, I'll just do it.

I don't even understand how that's gonna work, but I'm gonna do it anyways.

Because you said so, I'll do it.

So Jesus calls us and he will call you, and he is constantly doing that, not calling you to do things that are, oh, that makes so much sense why he'd called me to do that.

He normally writes stories backwards and in a circular way, in a way that you're like, I have no idea.

I never could have pinpointed exactly what he was gonna do.

I mean, his own death and resurrection was something that everybody was like, we've lost.

And he's like, actually, my death was the victory.

And so I know that it looks illogical, but actually it's the foolishness of this that actually is the glory of this.

And so consistently, this is what he does.

He calls us into this space where he's like, do the illogical things to experience the incredible things that I have for you.

Do those things.

The second thing that we see in this passage is that obedience, obedience to Jesus, regardless of how illogical it may seem, opens the door for him to do what he can do, not what we can do.

Obedience to him opens the door for him to do what he can do.

If you notice how they experience the power that Jesus is capable of, like he doesn't tell them to conjure the miracle.

He's not like you feed them, figure out how to like turn five loaves and two fish into do the like.

Do you have any thoughts?

Can we do like a huddle, like a like a brainstorm, maybe toss out some ideas?

Judas, you don't get to turn.

But like, can we can we have some?

No?

Okay.

I thought it was, I thought it was okay.

Thanks, man.

Matt, that's why you're an elder.

Okay.

But this is what he says.

He's like, they just do what he says.

Obedience is the thing that ultimately leads them into this space where they experience this incredible, like, what can you do?

It's like, just do what I say, and you'll see what I can do.

And so he says, You give them something to eat.

And then it's like, how many loaves do you have?

Go and see.

And so they go and see.

Then Jesus directed them to have all the people sit down, and so they had all the people sit down.

Then he takes the loaves and the two fish, he blesses them and he hands them to them.

He's like, Can you pass these out?

Can you do this?

Why don't you do this a little bit?

And then when they're when they're when you need more, just come back and do this again.

Just keep passing until they're full and satisfied.

Can you do these things?

Can you just be obedient to these small things?

And then all of a sudden, as they obey, they experience what he can actually do.

They experience his power breaking out among them, even though they have no idea how it's happening.

They have no idea what's going to take place when they do it, but as they're obedient, they just watch what he is capable of.

They just watch it happen among them.

And they're not doing anything special.

It's like simple, simple, simple obedience.

Find out how much food we have, bring it to me, sit them down, you sit down, and then pass these things out.

Like this is what I want you to do.

This is how you're going to experience these amazing things that I have.

This is what you're going to do.

It's just simple obedience.

And as they obey, they experience that.

I think for us, we can sometimes think that God is telling us to obey, um, kind of like a parent does to a kid.

Like, you need to obey or else.

Like I'm gonna steal something from you, like you're gonna lose screen time.

That's normally the conversation in my life.

Um like, obey or you'll lose something.

But actually, like if you think about this text, what he's actually saying is like, I want you to do what I'm saying because.

Like, I'm not, I'm not trying to snag anything from you.

I'm trying to make sure you don't miss actually what I want to do.

I'm not trying to take, I'm actually trying to give.

I want I need you to obey because you're about to see something incredible.

And if you choose to go, nah, I think we should just send them away.

I don't think this is gonna work because it makes no sense.

And so I'm not gonna do it.

I'm not gonna go see how many fish we have.

I'm not gonna see how much bread we have.

I'm not gonna tell them to sit down.

This is dumb.

I'm not gonna do that.

He's like, if they would have moved forward with that, they would have missed out on all these different things.

God is constantly telling us, I want you to obey because I'm trying to do something in your life and through your life.

He wants to do things, he has goals, he has desires that he wants to accomplish for you and for the people in your life.

He has an actual plan and stuff, he has a will for your life that he actually wants to break into your life.

He's just never gonna force it.

2 Chronicles 16, 9 is one of my favorite verses, and it says that the uh the eyes of the Lord search the earth to show himself strong on behalf of those whose hearts are complete in him, are fully devoted to his.

The eyes of the Lord are searching the earth.

He is right here and now, the eyes of the Lord are searching the earth, looking for a heart that's like, would you let me do whatever I want to do in your life?

Because if you will, you are a rarity.

You're a gem, a diamond in the like nobody wants that from me.

Nobody, I'm searching the earth looking for these things.

Actually, this is really a kind of a bad verse because if you read the continue it, it's being spoken to a king who's like, I don't want any of that.

And the prophet is saying, Look, the the Lord said, like, his eyes are searching the earth, looking for someone to show himself strong, to do strong things on their behalf.

That's what he's trying to do in the world, trying to do things in our lives that's stronger than what we can do on our own.

And Asa's, and it's like, but you didn't want any of it.

You didn't want it.

And so you stayed in this space.

But I do believe there's this space where we see like he is searching the earth, looking for people who's like, Can I show myself strong on your behalf?

Would you let me do that?

Would you let me accomplish the plans that I have for you, the things that I actually want to do?

Would you please let me do that?

And obedience that we see from the disciples and obedience in our life, obedience just opens the door and just allows him to begin, like he allows him to enter and allows him to begin doing the things that he can do that we can't do.

And obedience is just a space of going, you're welcome here.

You're welcome in my life, you're welcome in my marriage, you're welcome into my finances, you're welcome in my addiction, you're you're welcome in my sin, you're welcome in my job, you're welcome in my sport, school, on and on and on.

Like when he calls us to obedience, he's like, just I what I want to show myself strong on your behalf.

Will you open the door just just a little bit so that I can enter in there and begin doing things in your life?

And I think the struggle that we have is just a lack of foresight.

I think when he calls us to obey, I don't think, I think, I think we think like the disciples, like this is too, like this thing is too small.

These five fish, two, or these five loaves, two fish, like this is this is not enough.

This isn't gonna do anything, it's not gonna make a difference.

It's not gonna change anything.

And so for us, I think we look exactly like them and we think like them.

We go, I'm dealing with something really big.

What I mean, what will forgiveness is such a small thing.

Like most people don't even try to forgive.

I'm not even sure if I even know how to do that if I wanted to.

Like it's such a small thing.

What could forgiveness do?

Forgiveness looks like five loaves and two fish trying to feed 5,000 plus people.

Like, what will that actually accomplish?

And it's like, but because he said so, it will do a lot more than you think it will do.

I'm dealing with something really big.

What will loving my enemies do?

I'm dealing with anxieties that are big.

What will prayer do?

What can fasting do?

What can tithing do?

What can sharing my faith do?

What will reading God's word and having that in my life?

What's that really gonna do?

It's small.

Like everybody's got a Bible.

I got like 30.

Like, what's that gonna change?

And it's this space where it's like it looks, it looks really small, but we lack the ability to actually see into the future of like what's possible through the small things that he wants to do.

And for us, just obedience just opens the door for him to do this thing, to step into our space and step into our time in order to uh do something in our lives.

And I don't know exactly what he will do through the obedience, the thing that he calls you into or whatever, but I do know that obedience for the disciples led him to doing something that they were like, I never thought this was possible.

I never thought I'd ever see some of those things.

And so consistently, what he's trying to lead us to is like, just open the door and let me walk into this space.

Being obedient to him actually lets him in to do what he wants to do.

And he can do more and he can do better than you and I can do.

In Jesus' prayer, uh, the Lord's prayer, he says uh that we should pray your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

And it's super easy to pray it and just to say, like, uh normally we do it with people like I don't know, trying to be healed or something like Lord, would you heal him?

But like we want your will.

Uh Lord, we want this, I want this job, but like I whatever your will is, God, because we're actually afraid of what his will actually, like, what if he gives me the wrong thing, which he won't, but we'll get on that time.

But realistically, what he's asking for is like, if you for us to pray that, it's easy to say.

It's much more difficult to live.

When we choose to obey him, we are actively saying, not just with our words, we're saying it with our life.

I want your will, I want your way.

His will is for us to obey him.

And so when you when he says you should pray, your will be done on earth, it is in heaven, when you choose to do the things that he's already said, you are actively living out that prayer and saying, I want your will and not mine, I want your way and not mine, I want your kingdom and not mine.

Because I'm gonna set all of my will and way aside, even though I think this makes more sense, and I'm gonna do your will, and I'm gonna do your way, and I'm gonna move into those spaces.

And so when we're obedient, we're actually answering the prayer, and he's going, I do want my will to be done in your life and in your space on earth, here and now, as it is in heaven.

But obedience opens the door for me to actually do that, because he's not gonna force his way in.

He actually says this to the church, uh, one of the churches uh in Laodicea in Revelation 3.20, Jesus says, Here I am.

Like, look, I'm standing at the door and I'm calling and I'm knocking.

He says, If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and I will eat with that person and they will eat with me.

And it's this thing where like normally this verse is used in terms of like um salvation, or you're like sharing the gospel.

Like, Jesus is knocking on the door of your heart and he really wants to know.

Like, but Jesus is saying this to a church.

He's standing at the door of a church and they won't let him in.

And like, please let me come in there and do things.

Like, this is my idea.

Like, Jesus, like, I came up with the idea of the church.

Please let me in.

And the church has locked the doors on him, and they don't want him to come in and actually start moving stuff around and doing stuff, even though it's his.

And I think so often, like, that's exactly what he's doing.

He's like, I'm sitting here, I'm I'm asking you to move towards obedience and to do these things.

I'm calling to you and I'm knocking, and I'm never going to force my power into your life, my goodness into your life, my blessing into your life.

But if you will hear me and then open, because I'm asking you to open the door, if you will obey me, I will walk in there and I won't condemn you.

I will actually provide for you.

We will feast together, we will be friends together, we will enjoy relationship and blessing together.

And so consider like what he wants.

Obedience is this space where it just leads to this thing, where we get to experience what he can do.

And what he can do is just better than what we can do.

It's better than what we imagine, it's better than what we can do on our own.

It may make no sense what he's asking us to do, but he is trying to get us to the space where, like, I want you to look at the things that I'm calling you to do, the things that I'm pressing on your heart, the conviction that I'm pressing into your life, the things that you're like, I know you're asking me to do that, but I don't think I can do that.

I am trying to bless you.

And if you will just open the door and let me into that space, you will experience something far better than what you can possibly imagine.

I had this, it was years ago, I think it was during COVID, and uh I lied to Rainey about something um that was pretty significant.

And um I don't even think what I lied about was sin or anything.

I just lied to her.

And uh it was like the lie was sin.

Um, but I just lied to her.

And uh she asked me about it one day and I lied.

And uh I felt like in that moment, I felt like the Lord was like, hey, I want you to go tell her that what she asked you, like it's actually a big deal.

You lied to her, you need to tell her.

And uh I was like, that's a terrible idea.

I'm not doing that.

Um and so I just didn't.

I didn't, I was and then I felt it so strong, y'all.

It was like like David uh has this psalm where he's like, when I when I hid my sin from you, it felt like like my bones were crushing and just wasting away.

Like everything was dark and dreary.

And it was like eight months of dealing with this thing, just going, like, I can handle this myself, I can deal with this myself, I don't have to deal with it, I don't have to tell her, it'll just make her worried.

She's a warrior god, she's got like she's got anxiety and stuff, and we just don't want to give that to her.

And the Lord's like, you need to go and tell her that you lied to her.

I was like, I'm not gonna do that.

That's dumb.

And um, it was hard, it really was hard for like eight months.

But then I had this moment where um I was sitting in my living room at my old house, and uh I had this space where I was praying and asking the Lord, and like he was just telling, like, you still, he has not let this thing go.

You need to tell her, you need to tell her, you need to tell her.

And um I had this moment where like as I was praying, I was like, what?

Like, what what what good will it do?

Like, what's it gonna change?

All it's gonna do is be like, I lied to you.

Like, you forgive me, Jesus.

It's fine, let's just move on.

Like, all it's gonna do is make her sad, like, we don't need to do that.

Like, this is a terrible and I had this space where I was like, okay, so I let's just say that I told her, and uh my eyes were closed, and it felt like uh it got so bright in my eyes that uh I thought that somebody had come in and found me praying in the lights, somebody flipped the lights on.

And so I opened my eyes thinking, oh, somebody's here while I'm you know talking about this thing.

I opened my eyes and it's still dark in the room, like pitch black dark.

And uh I just felt like the Lord going, like, you don't know.

Like, just just do this thing.

Like I will, there will be a lightness, there will be a refreshing, there will be repent of this thing, and you will experience times of refreshing.

And so Rainey came downstairs from putting Teddy to bed and uh sat on the couch and I told her that thing.

And it was horrible and it was miserable.

And uh for for I mean, she cried, I cried, but I cry a lot.

And um, but I will say, like, it was this space that like inviting her into that thing with me, inviting her into that lie that I was living, um, it got so much better so fast.

Um, and I had somebody that actually showed grace towards me and wanted to partner with me.

And anyways, it was just this really, really beautiful thing.

Um, I've told that story a couple of times, not here.

It never tells well.

Um, and I'm sorry about that, but it really is this space where it was like, it was like Jesus was like, I just, I'm not trying to lead you into something terrible.

I'm not trying to ruin your marriage, I'm trying to heal your marriage, I'm not trying to like make her hate you, I'm trying to like establish love between you that's deeper than it ever has been.

But you won't listen to me.

You won't be obedient.

And I think consistently that's what he's asking us to do.

He is like, I have something for you that you will not be able to do by yourself.

It's better than you think.

Please just be obedient.

Open that door.

And so for you, if it is unforgiveness, if it is money, if it is whatever, uh, just he's not trying to harm you.

He is going like, I want to do things and can do things that you do not know are possible.

And so for your mind and your heart to be like, what will this do?

It's like he can do anything.

And he does amazing things through these really small things.

And obedience just opens the door and says, Find your will, your way.

Do whatever you want in here.

I will do it your way so that you're able to move in and just do whatever you want.

That's what he wants to do.

So that's the second thing we see, and then the third and final.

We see the goal of Jesus in all of our lives, what he's trying to lead us to.

It says, when Jesus landed, this is the beginning and the end kind of smashed together.

When Jesus landed, he saw the large crowd and he had compassion on them because they were like sheep without a shepherd.

And so he began teaching them many things.

And then taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves, and he gave them to the disciples to distribute them.

Then they all ate and were satisfied.

And the disciples even picked up twelve baskets of broken pieces of bread and fish.

This miracle isn't about like ending world hunger, which maybe you know that or anything like that.

This miracle genuinely is a picture uh of what Jesus wants to do.

I think it literally happened, but it is a picture of what he has come to do in our lives.

These people aren't asking to be fed.

They're not asking for like, hey, we're hungry, give us some food, Jesus.

They're not doing that.

And so it's not a it's not a miracle about food.

Jesus chooses to do a thing to display what he has come to do in the world.

And so he just happens to use food in order to display what he wants to do.

It's a picture of the fact that what Jesus wants, where he's guiding us, what he has come to do, he is trying to lead us into a space where we are full, where we experience abundance, and when we're satisfied, there is satisfaction in Jesus.

Actually, over satisfaction.

There's more than enough.

There's more than, they're more than satisfied.

That not only did they eat till they were full, but then there was leftovers.

He's like, I am trying through my life and my leadership and shepherding and my authority as your savior and Lord.

What I'm trying to do in your life always, I'm trying to lead you from scarcity into abundance.

I'm trying to lead you as sheep into a space where you experience true satisfaction of your soul.

These things that you're longing for and the stuff that you're trying to figure out, you don't know what if it's ever gonna happen.

And then you're like, I think if I just have X, then I'll finally have it.

Then you get that thing and it's like it wasn't as good as I thought it would be.

He's going, I'm actually the one that can get you to the space where you are actually satisfied and filled and filled with abundance.

This is actually what he's come to do.

In Ezekiel 34, God promises that he would do this, that he would send a shepherd to those without a shepherd.

He will send uh two sheep without a shepherd, they will send a shepherd.

This is what he says.

It's literally referencing this moment.

In the Old Testament, God says, I'm gonna do this thing.

This is what he says.

God says, As surely as I live, declares the sovereign Lord, because my flock lacks a shepherd, like these people, sheep without a shepherd, I myself will search for my sheep and look after them.

As a shepherd looks after his scattered flock when he is with them, so I will look after my sheep.

I will rescue them from the places where they're scattered, I will pasture them on the mountains of Israel, which is what Jesus is currently doing, in the ravines and all the settlements in the land.

I will tend them in good pasture, and the mountain heights of Israel will be their grazing land.

There they will lie down in good grazing land.

And Mark uses the fact that they're sitting on green grass.

Again, it's all this imagery back.

They will lie down in good grazing land, and they will feed in rich pasture on the mountains of Israel.

I myself will tend my sheep and have them lie down, declares the sovereign Lord.

I will search for the lost and bring them back.

I will bind up the injured and strengthen the weak.

I will shepherd the flock with justice.

I will place over them one shepherd, my servant David, which is an image to and a reference to the son of David that's coming, which is Jesus.

And he will tend them and be their shepherd.

And so it's this promise like, what did Jesus come to do?

God is like, all of the people that have been leaders over my people, and anybody that's ever been over them has just taken from them and stolen from them and just hasn't been the person I want.

So I will do it myself.

And he promises to send somebody who will actually lead us into a space where we can actually be satisfied.

And then Jesus picks up this language in John 10.

And he says this, he goes, I have come.

Here's why I'm here.

I have come that you may have life and life to the full.

I am that good shepherd.

I'm the one, the promised one.

And the good shepherd, I'm the good shepherd that lays down his life for his sheep.

And so you see not only him saying, like, this is who I am, I have come to lead you into a space where satisfaction is the experience of your life.

But I'm also committed to it.

And the way that you know that he's committed to it is because he ultimately does, as the good shepherd, lay down his life for the sheep.

And so, can he actually do it?

Will he actually do it?

How willing is he to lead me into a space of abundance?

He's like, he's willing to give his life in order to do it.

And the cross testifies, how worthy is he of my trust?

It's like, well, he's the shepherd that will lay down his life for you so that you can experience life.

I love that.

Um, I think it's a hymn.

Uh maybe they made it into a new song.

Um, but in Christ alone, it says, On that cross as Jesus died, the wrath of God was satisfied, for every sin on him was laid here in the death of Christ I live.

I love that idea.

Like, Jesus isn't just good at satisfying humans, like he satisfied God himself.

Like anybody that can satisfy God can certainly satisfy me.

Like if you can do that, like there's some you must be very, very capable of actually doing this for me.

And so he was able to satisfy the wrath of God so that we didn't experience the wrath of God, but we experienced the abundance of God.

This is who he is.

And so I want us in every aspect of our journey with him as a church, as people who are following him, I want us to see that like he will call you to things that are random and doesn't make any sense.

And how could you possibly tell me I need to forgive them?

How could you possibly tell me I need to trust you in this?

Do you see what's happening in my life?

How could you possibly ask that of me?

It's like I'm trying, I swear, on my life and my death and my resurrection, I promise I am trying to lead you into better spaces than you can get to by yourself.

And I've given my life to prove that to you and so that you would see it and know I am the shepherd that came to lead you into spaces where you cannot get by yourself.

I promise.

Trust me in that.

This is what he wants to do for us.

So Jesus will call you into illogical obedience, but his goal is always to lead you into abundance.

Illogical obedience to lead you into abundance.

But he will not force you.

There are things that you want to see happen in your life that are just on the other side of your obedience.

They're not going to happen.

He's not going to bless you in that way.

And it's not because he's withholding from you, it's because he's never going to force himself on you.

He's not going to do that.

And so there's stuff that you want to experience that he's going, I want you to experience it too.

But I'm knocking on the door, I'm not kicking it down.

And so I want you to follow me in this so that you experience those things.

A couple of questions for application.

The first is what illogical thing is Jesus calling you to do?

What illogical thing is Jesus calling you to do?

And just a quick caveat.

Um sometimes in church, you preach a thing, and then people are like, I'm gonna be illogically obedient, and then they're like, they leave their wife.

I'm like, well, that's not what I said.

Um no, uh, don't do that.

Your illogical obedience should not cost somebody else something, okay?

It might cost you something, but it should not cost them.

Like, I'm gonna give all our money away.

And it's like, did you check with your wife at all?

Or your husband, did you check with that?

Like, I'm just supporting, I'm moving to China, I'm gonna be a missionary.

I'm just illogically obedient.

It's like, you have three children.

I'm not saying that's what you shouldn't do, I'm just saying run it by some folks, okay?

Um illogical obedience is something that he will call you to, but it will cost, it should cost you, not someone else.

Okay?

Uh so what illogical thing is Jesus calling you to do?

Where do you sense impressing?

What do you sense impressing in your life?

And saying, like, I want us to do this, and you're thinking that will do nothing.

That's stupid.

I don't think I should do that.

Where is he pressing in your life?

It might not make any sense, but the testimony of the scriptures is people experience incredible things when they do illogical things for Jesus, what he asked them to do.

And then the second question is where is he asking you to be obedient and let him in?

Where is he asking you to be obedient?

Where is he knocking?

Where is he speaking to you and saying, Hey, I would you let me in there?

Like you're mine.

I gave my life for you.

Would you let me in there?

Where is he asking you and knocking to let him in?

He wants to bring you fullness, and his end goal is that you would actually experience true satisfaction, true fulfillment, the thing that he came to give, and he's the only one that can actually give it.

And so for us, I want us to be a church that just searches our lives and goes, like, man, he's asking something of me.

And I don't know, I don't know if I can do that.

I don't know that that's gonna work, but I'm gonna do it because he said so.

Because I think when we move into those spaces, we actually experience what he has for us.

So I'd encourage you, just trust him in that.

Let me pray.

Father, the psalmist says, uh, praise the Lord, my soul, and do not forget his benefits.

Remember that he forgives all of our sins, he heals our diseases.

He's the one who redeems our life from the pit and crowns us with love and compassion.

He is the God who satisfies our desires with good things.

Satisfaction has always been your space.

Fullness, abundance, contentment.

You were trying to lead us into a superabundance that you have for us.

That isn't cars or buildings or money or any of that stuff.

It's not prosperity gospel.

You were trying to lead us into fullness of life that we experience when we are near you and close with you and allow you into spaces into our hearts where we're desperate for it.

And so, God, I pray, would you show us would you point to things in our hearts and in our minds?

That you're calling us to just open that door.

As illogical as it may sound, that you're asking us, would you just open that door and let me in that space?

Would you set that in our hearts so that we would at least be able to pinpoint exactly where you're trying to get in?

And God, by faith and by the power of your spirit working in us, would you help us to follow you in obedience so that you can do what you want to do, so that your will will be done in our lives as it is in heaven.

I pray in Jesus' name.

Amen.