Leftovers - Biblical Manhood

Happy Monday, we are back in with the ERC Leftovers podcast.

I'm Pastor Matt. Pastor Crisp.

Here as well, week removed from Easter, we're into a new a

sermon series called Made in His Image to Admit Biblical Manhood.

This week you get to espouse your thoughts on biblical

womanhood. This week I've already

determined that they are going to be 0 of my thoughts and 100%

Bible thoughts. I joked with my group last night

that maybe I will just read passages only and make 0

comments on anything and I'm just going to read all the Bible

passages about biblical womanhood and make no

commentary. It feels safe.

It's very safe move that that's the safe play this upcoming

week. Yeah, so biblical manhood,

biblical womanhood, and then how we are all children of God.

This series is really, I mean, ultimately it's about identity

and, and how God orchestrated that in his image bearers in, in

men and women and then all of us as his children.

So that's the posture that we continually have regardless of

our earthly age and maturity. That's a position that doesn't

change for us as children of God, right?

That was perfectly well. I mean, that was perfect.

That could have been my. I mean, that was.

Did you craft that? Just a second.

It just came off the top of my brain.

You said that perfectly. In fact, now I need to go back

after this publishes, and I need to listen to you say that again,

because that was so perfectly well done as a descriptor.

But that's that's the thinking, yeah.

It's not just for children, it's all of us.

So yeah, we are rocking and rolling back with the ERC

leftovers here. Thanks for hanging with us.

Got a couple of just, I don't know, we don't even have

segments for these, but I wanted to discuss just some offhanded

things that came up at staff meeting this morning.

You you said you got into a debate over Doctor Pepper or Mr.

Pibb. Doctor Pepper, Sir, he is a

fraud. I don't believe he's a real

doctor. I have not seen any of that

paperwork signifying that he is. And those 23 flavors or

whatever, it's one flavor. It's called sugar.

You don't have 23 flavors. And I don't hate Doctor Pepper

as a soda flavor, but PIB is far superior and he's more honest

about his level of degree. He's just a Mr. He's just a

dude, and he accepts that. He doesn't have to put the fancy

title Doctor on anything. So I think Doctor Pepper is a

fraud. Wow, OK, I feel strong about.

It Yep, deep thoughts with pastor Chris.

Yep, I I mean, I'm with you. What?

I really don't understand the 23 flavors and there's so there's

23 flavors, but cherry isn't one of them.

Like we need cherry Dr. pepper or like cherry vanilla doctor,

but you're telling me cherry and vanilla aren't in the 23

flavors? Seems weird.

Seems sketchy. What are the 23 flavors?

I mean, like, should I dare? I dare I ask the interwebs what

are the 23? Yeah, the 23.

Flavor. Oh my goodness.

Doctor Pepper. Amaretto Almond.

OK. BlackBerry, black licorice,

caramel, carrot, cherry. OK, so Cherry isn't that So why

do we have Cherry Dr. Pepper? Seems.

Redundant Why do we have cherry, Dr. Pepper, clove, cola, ginger,

juniper, lemon, molasses, nutmeg, orange pepper, plum,

prune, Raspberry, root beer, rum, tomato and vanilla?

Baloney. Baloney.

No way. That's the 23 flavors yet we

have. Why do we have cherry Vanilla

Doctor Pepper, right? If it's already in there, now

we're just. Very hypocritical.

It does and and Mr. Pip is just a better tasting soda anyway in

general. I agree.

I definitely agree. So we're like Coke or Pepsi

though? Oh dude.

It's not. The fact that our machine inside

this building has a giant Pepsi image on it hurts my.

We sell Coke. Yeah, that.

We sell Coca-Cola. Products out of hurts my soul.

But I do have one staunch Pepsi believer who just loves it.

In fact, this student wore a Pepsi shirt to youth group last

week and I was like, you know what I can respect it.

Like your your team Pepsi all day.

You you don't really enjoy coke. Good for you.

I'm glad at least you have a strong opinion so I can I can

respect it. And I did put Pepsi back in the

machine for that student because they have harassed me for months

on end about putting Pepsi in the Pepsi machine.

So I finally did it. But I I've warned them.

I said if this stuff doesn't sell, it will never be back.

So there you go. Speaking of not selling, is my

is my son's petition still going around for the soda machine?

OK, OK, yes, we need to I we should draw this out to the

masses because we. Should because I didn't even he

this kept quiet some. I didn't know about this till

like this past week. Yeah, he went really hard on it.

I'm I'm proud of Oliver because what he did was he loves grape

soda and he is convinced he loves.

Crushed grape soda specifically. Well, I'll keep that in mind

because I did say I would honor his petition.

I'm going to, I'm going to honor that petition.

So what happens is Oliver Schweitzer tells me how great

this soda is, and I'm like, dude, gross.

That's never going to sell. And then he went around and I

think he collected 25 signatures.

Of. People who want to support grape

soda in the machine. And so I was like, dude, I, you

know what I'm going to give it to you.

I'm I'm going to find this in the store and I'm put it in

there. But when it doesn't sell and it

won't, I'm taking it out forever.

And I will remind him of that until he's a senior in high

school. Like, dude, it's.

Not didn't happen. So he got like a six pack of 20

oz crushed grape soda bottles like for his birthday.

Usually our kids are getting into this age where, I mean,

they maybe want one or two things.

It's usually something that gifts are getting bigger as

they're getting up. They don't want like whatever,

they don't want three different Barbie dolls anymore.

They want like one big thing or actually what they're mostly

into now, they want their own, like their own bag of goodies

that is just, it's like their snack or sweet bag.

So that's essentially what. Yeah.

Anyway, that was in his bag. He got his 6 bottles of Grape

Crush. Yeah, just straight purple

sugar. Go with his sour patch kids and

salt and vinegar Pringles. Oh.

Wow, so I love that. Anyway, so thank you for

humoring him. So it's going to happen though.

There's going to be Grape Crush. There is.

Oh man, I do need to find it on sale because honestly, in in a

kind of a serious way, this is like that pop machine exists

because when I get sewed on sale, if I can get it for

basically 45 or $0.50 a can people buy the pop And then the

profit of that goes towards our youth fund.

And so like it is a fundraising mechanism that we have.

And so I did tell him I have to wait until I see it on sale

because I'm not paying a dollar a can.

We're not going to break even on this.

Like I'm not doing that. So I did warn him it may be a

little bit I got to see it on sale.

All right. That's fair.

But all right, thanks for the thanks for the soda machine

update. I know you were all wondering

about the contents of the soda machine.

Off the rails. Off the rails.

Yes, yes. Wouldn't, wouldn't, wouldn't be

an episode of The Leftovers without just something absurd.

So yeah, that's all we really got for Icebreaker today.

We're going to jump right into content kind of reviewing the

sermon from biblical manhood this week.

If you haven't listened to that sermon, it's further back in the

in the ERC Sunday's podcast feed here.

But I jumped off yesterday. I really wanted to talk more

about what biblical manhood is rather than what it isn't

because I think we see a lot of what it isn't in if, if we're

getting informed from society sometimes if we're letting our

even our experiences. I've talked about this in in

weeks past and thinking about fatherhood.

If your picture of what fatherhood should be is defined

by your earthly experience with your earthly father.

There's probably some scars there, right?

There's, there's probably some imperfect memories there or

things that have informed your view of fatherhood from your

imperfect fathers. We, we need to take the lens of

with fatherhood, we that the earthly father, the heavenly

Father, the perfect heavenly Father.

That's the model of fatherhood. In the same way, I wanted us to

look at how God prescribes manhood, not not informed from

our experiences, what society, especially Hollywood, would say

or inform about manhood. So rather than call out problems

and shortcomings, I'd rather just like, like I started up

yesterday, let's start with the blueprint.

What is this supposed to look like?

And when we've deviated from that, how should we be getting

back to it? Right.

So Genesis 1, God said, let man, let us make man in our image.

Verse 26 through 28 of Genesis one, let us make man in our

image after our likeness. Let them have dominion over the

fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens, over the

livestock, over all the earth or whatever creeping thing that

creeps on the earth. So God created man in his own

image, in the image of God. He created him, male and female.

He created them and God blessed them and God said to them, be

fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have

dominion over it. So together, and I started off

with this, though we started off with the tagline of men and

women. Women are different.

Actually the starting point is the same, right?

Designed in God's image to reflect that God's glory.

That's that's the purpose now we see that drawn out in very

different attributes, very different characteristics, very

different leanings and strikes between men men and women right.

So from that I pointed out yesterday that God said for the

first time that man being alone wasn't good and that isn't a

call out. We addressed singles and we'll

address singles next week too. What what I don't want you to

hear and what I don't think I said yesterday was that biblical

manhood, you're not biblically a man until you're married to a

wife. Not true.

We have examples from Paul even where he he calls out those in

ministry especially actually probably simpler in a lifestyle

of solitude for for those called to like extravagant evangelism

or or missionary situations. Some of Paul's writings make the

argument that that's better done in singlehood.

Or at least it increases your ability to focus on that thing.

Yes, which is very practical actually.

And, and he's not wrong. If I was, you know, if I was a

missionary or whatever, it would probably be easier and I could

focus easier if I was unmarried in some ways.

However, in my current context and hopefully my forever

context, it actually helps that I'm married in a lot of ways

simply because like man, now we have two sides of, you know, we

have this one flesh, but we have two sides of the same idea.

And it, and you're right, it's, it's drawn out in different ways

between me and my wife and, and I think that's incredibly

powerful thing. Yeah, So all I just all I wanted

to point out in this kind of extra time was I hope you didn't

hear me say that like marriage is the crowning achievement of

manhood on earth. There's a lot of good things in

a God honoring marriage. God, the Bible makes this

metaphorical similarity between men and women being married as,

as Christ and his bride, the church are, are married.

So like those things are there, but hopefully that didn't come

out yesterday. I don't think it did.

The next part of this is kind of the the more specifics of men's

calling to dominion and stewardship over the earth.

So the first point I kind of talked about yesterday was

created in God's image for dominion and stewardship of of

creation. Genesis 2 gets into that a

little more specifically in these work it and keep it

phrases as as Adam is in the Garden of Eden and his purpose

there was to work it keep it. We get the the ideas in these

Hebrew phrases of cultivate, develop, guard, protect, watch

over. And then we get to the IT was

not good for man to be alone and created Eve as a helper fit for

him. And this I didn't, I didn't dive

into it yesterday. It's amazing that God, I said a

lot yesterday about our need for dependence on God and that God

created us that way. He also created the not good

part about this was that Adam still needed help.

God would not have created a helper for him if that wasn't a

good thing for him, right? So even even within that, as

much as we as guys especially don't like to admit weakness,

don't like to say that we don't have it figured out, God's

saying from the beginning, you don't have it all together.

You don't have all the tools you need to do the job that I've

given you. So here here is a helper

suitable to have you fulfill the purposes that I created you for,

right? And I think you use the word

complimentary yesterday and that is just a fantastic word for

being able to say, you know what, like God's got a strategy

for completeness and wholeness. And again, there are people

certainly out there who do not necessarily need a spouse to

feel complete and to feel whole and to feel fulfilled.

And that's great for them. However, the vast majority of

people don't feel that way. They do feel some kind of some

kind of just loss or, I don't know, there's, there's a gap

there, right? And so God fills the gap through

this relationship with man and woman.

And that's really interesting to me too, that that's how he

decided to do that because God couldn't he have certainly gone,

Oh, I'm the gap filler for all things like you've got me.

And that's enough. But he takes it a step further

and says, no, I'm going to create somebody also made my

image and likeness that will really kind of complete this for

you. And it's going to be a joyful

experience on every level for you that I've done this.

And I think that's really neat. Yeah.

And just how it, how it kind of processed in my mind was as we

get into ideas of servant leadership later and, and love

and respect in those things, it, it shouldn't seem jarring to us.

I know it's an off putting stance of saying, OK, no, I

need, I need help or I don't have it all together.

We don't, we don't like to admit that weakness.

That's, that's literally how it started though.

God from the beginning, God designed us with this

deficiency, this need for dependence.

And not that he's not setting up men to be dependent on women,

but we are in need, in need, ultimately of him and in need to

work in Symphony with with a complimentary helper of a woman

and working that into a household and a family event.

Like there there is that be fruitful and multiply, which may

be to some degree, speaking to speaking to singles.

Again, if you're if you're not married, how are you

multiplying? How are how are you being

fruitful? I think this is one of my

questions in the in the study guides, like whether whether at

work or whether at church, whether in your your

neighborhood or community, like how are you leading?

How, how, how are you multiplying, discipling those

around you? That's that's the other reason

that marriage isn't like the crowning achievement of manhood,

because you're not off the hook to make disciples if you're not

married, right? Like if you are married, you

have a very specific, OK, your household.

That's your first discipleship field, not in a relationship.

You have to be almost even all the more intentional about those

relationships, because those are your.

Those are your primary relationships.

And I actually love that because I've met, you know, various

single aunts and uncles of kids and stuff like that.

And they joyously pour into nieces and nephews and kids in

the community and other people, you know, at their work and

stuff like that. And that that very much can and

does exist. And I think it's, it's amazing

to watch, especially when it's not like this kind of thing of

like, well, no, this is super obvious to me.

It's my kids, it's my wife, whatever.

No, like they go out and they find that and they are disciple

makers in a lot of different ways.

And, and I think that's really encouraging, especially for

people who like to or, or find themselves single.

I think that's incredibly encouraging because you're still

always in the game. Always, no matter what, Like

there's no excuse. You should always be in the

game, single, married, whatever. Like that's, that's God's call

for all of us. Yep, absolutely.

And that gets into a big passage.

We could have, we could spend weeks on this husbands and wives

passage from Ephesians 5. But we'll, we'll just spend a

couple extra. I have extra thoughts.

I've got lots of thoughts that I left out of yesterday, could

have gone on for a long time, way longer than I did.

But Ephesians 5, we'll start at verse 23.

For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ, as the head

of the church, his body of which he is the Savior.

Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should

submit to their husbands in everything.

We talked a bit yesterday that this, I feel like this verse,

this phrase is passage actually gets a really negative

connotation a lot of the time gives men just free reign or it

has been used at least for men to have free reign of just

domineering the household. Which is no, not the design.

Whatsoever that's that's not the original intent here and I

actually asked I asked the church gathered yesterday if

they if they felt oppressed in sitting in church in their

submission to Christ as the head right now, if it's as Christ is

the head of the church church. Do you feel no, you don't you

don't feel oppressed by your savior.

You don't you don't feel exploited or dominated by or

ruled over really, which is interesting because we.

We should, we should feel Christ's ruling and reigning

over our lives, but there's trust in that.

That's not like there's not discomfort or a dictatorship

feeling in in that. And I think this passage with

husbands and wives, it can get twisted in that way.

Oh, well, if I, if I, if I submit to my husband, I'm, I'm

just giving him a free pass to just walk all over me and make

every decision without, without consulting me about everything

and, and all those things. And that's not the design here.

I actually, I made the joke yesterday that it's, it's good

news and bad news and they're both, they're both the same.

The good news is guys, that you're in charge.

God, God placed you in charge. And the bad news is that you're

in charge. You're you're now accountable as

head of household for for your wife, for your your children, or

your someday children. I actually think that that level

of accountability, if you take it at face value from God's

Word, man, that is almost scary. Almost scary simply simply

because like you know, you are, you are now responsible for

actively discipling and protecting and developing these

people who God has allowed you to to help steward.

And of course, obviously he is everybody's father ultimately.

Yet we are we are called as men, especially married men to be

those developers and those protectors.

And man, if we take that seriously as we should, that is

a substantial responsibility that it does become my first and

most important human relationship, right?

It has to. So I think we've said it here,

man, God comes first in, in that.

And I'm saying priorities that are aligned correctly with what

God says. God comes first.

My, my second first, if if you want to say it that way, is my

wife, period. And listen, I have been pretty

clear with our kids on that. Like we love you to death.

We will do anything for you. But our marriage, my, my, my

relationship to my wife even comes before them and then they

are immediately after and then comes the church, right.

And so I mean, like we have these kind of pretty clearly

laid out priorities in terms of relationship and, and who we're

pouring into and all that kind of stuff.

And so like, I just don't think that, yeah, coming back to what

you were saying about the submission thing, there's

nothing inferior about the woman's role in that.

There's it's not an inferiority thing.

It's a different thing, but it's not inferior.

God creates us differently for different roles and purposes,

but there's nothing inferior about it.

Yeah, because then the answer in verse 25, Ephesians 5 is

husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and

gave himself up for her. He he goes on to elaborate on

the posture of submission and, and how that works because

husbands, you are to love your wife.

You are to put her needs first. You are to put your caring for

her first as you would just as much as you care for yourself.

That's how you would care for her just as Christ loved the

church and gave himself up for her and I I said that so there's

a qualification for the submission there and and and

later this whole passage can be referred to as the love and

respect passage. Husbands love your wives wives

respect your husband submit submit to your husbands and I

think you're going to get into it a little more the next week.

This this sort of cyclical pattern there that when working

in God's design works really well.

When a husband is feeling respected by his his wife, he he

naturally easily readily loves her care, cares for her.

And and that's not to put the onus on the wives, because when

the husband naturally readily taking the initiative loves his

wife, it's also in turn a lot simpler, I think more natural

for her to want to respect him, for her to respect him.

So the disconnect happens when someone wakes cycle, or when

maybe when both break the cycle and it it can't get started

again because no one's doing either of the things.

Yeah, and, and why and why can't it get restarted?

Because pride gets involved. This this sneaking pride of

well, I'm not going to be the first one because it's probably

his fault. I'm not going to be the first

one because it's probably her fault.

And if she would do that, then I would do that.

But the, the you can't get anywhere in those.

Both parties are sold out and involved in that process.

And I said it strongly yesterday because I do, I do think for for

anyone who's stuck in that state where there is not love or

respect being given and you're both waiting for the other one

to blink to see it, to see who's going to whatever apologize or

move first. I said it, I said it strongly

that it's still, I think it still falls to the men.

Be the first mover. You're you're still the first

repenter. You're still the first mover.

It is still on you to love her sacrificially the way Christ

did, even when, even when she doesn't deserve it, even when I

said it yesterday, when, well, that doesn't seem fair.

Even when it's not fair. I think it's still on the man.

And that's the the bad news of you being in charge.

You have to do the the part of it that seems that seems unfair

or undeserved. That's the just that's the just

as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for that's

that's that unconditional posture of of gracious love in

that. So if you're stuck outside of

that cycle, I still think it is on the mend to initiate that.

Now I did say also yesterday, and I want to clarify, I don't

want it to seem like I said, I feel I feel like it maybe could

have been taken. Yeah, that's not that's not fair

that you have to do that and too bad.

I I like I feel like that's right.

I feel like I kind of just said you just got to deal with it and

endure it because you're the man.

There's partial truth in that, but there's also no no, that God

didn't make you to just struggle in that.

If you are if you are a husband who is acting in God's design

and faithfully holding to that even when your wife is not

acting in God's design in in womanhood, which we're going

we're going to get into in the next week.

It's still on the that I talked about yesterday.

There's not excuses. You don't get to not act like a

man if your if your husband, if your wife is not acting as God

designed as a woman, you, you don't get to be off the hook

because she's off the you need. You need to hopefully lead her

back into that. There's still reconciliation and

redemption for that within your marriage.

And if it's that, if that's if that's counseling, if that's

bringing her back to to Jesus in a relationship that you're

leading her in within your household in scripture, like

there's there's ways to get out of that.

I wasn't saying yesterday that this is just the way your life's

going to be for the rest of your life and it's not going to be

great, but you just got to deal with it.

That's that's not right now. I hope I hope I didn't leave

anybody in that despair yesterday.

But I did want to emphasize, I still I think it is on the men

to bring your relationship out of that.

And, and that's also a warning for guys who aren't married yet,

Like that's, that's part of what you're jumping into with

marriage is, is leading yourself and your wife out of those pits

should you find yourself in them.

Well, and it's interesting too, if we zoom out for a second on a

broader scale, the call on the Christian amongst A secular

society is to be this loving example, the first forgiver,

etcetera, etcetera. And so like even on a broader

zoomed out scale, this, while it is for men within that

relationship, it is for Christians in general to be the

first movers, to be the first leaders of things like

forgiveness and reconciliation and all those kinds of things,

because we are ultimately ambassadors for the king.

If you're a Christian, you are a living, walking, breathing

ambassador for the king. And we need to be faithful,

representing him in a biblically accurate way.

And that does mean forgiving when other people wouldn't.

And it does mean reconciliation when it's difficult.

And it does mean you're the first mover and you're the

first, you know, person to apologize.

That's that's the call on all Christians.

So I mean, broadly, Yep, that's exactly how that works.

If you're a Christian and more narrowly if you're within a

familial household, OK, it still works that way.

But men biblically are called to be the leaders in that.

Yeah, absolutely. So I think that's yeah, a little

a few more thoughts on sacrificial leadership and what

that does and doesn't look like. But yeah, guys, it's still heavy

as the head that holds crown, right?

Like it's, that's not, that's not an inaccurate phrase for

headship of the household. Yes, it comes with the benefit

of leadership. It also comes with the

accountability of leadership. You got to do things.

Now I'll also say because this is interesting, there are a lot

of godly couples and maybe the, the woman is actually the, the

primary kind of speaker teacher to the kids and stuff like that.

And that's, there's nothing wrong with that.

And some women are just really great at it.

God has gifted them in that way. And so they, they, they, they do

that. But I suspect based on

everything that the Bible says, that it is part of the man's job

as the head of household to encourage that.

And maybe you do have to encourage your kids because

maybe they're not listening well and stuff.

You get to be the encourager and you get to maybe you're not

always the voice, the quote, UN quote, teaching voice of, of

what God's word says within your household, but man, like you are

the encourage or you're the one who's going to bring the troops,

you know, to the speaker And, and, and I think that's OK too.

I love we talk about Pastor Josh Howerton sometimes and they have

a he shared a dynamic they have in their household of of how

this works with mom doing the things she is she cares for

their household house housewife. They have a fairly regular

rhythm of family dinner, which I know not everyone has and

actually we're pretty bad at for just kids going every which

direction and we we have we try to hold the Fridays, but it's

definitely not like every night of the week that we are sitting

down for a family meal together. When they do though this

Howerton household, she usually she's cooking dinner, he's

coming home from work. Kids set the table, gathered

around the table. Nobody, nobody eats till till.

Mom sits down though, like and he's.

The I like that a lot. Wow.

Yeah. And and he's the so like she's

she's doing things, but Dad's the enforcer of that.

Maybe Dad. Dad's coming in last and he's

sitting down at the table. Nobody, nobody digs in till

mom's done with the things and dad's the enforcer of that.

Like that's he's he's supporting her in that.

Not again, not ruling over dominant that that like she has

to do that, but he's saying in that in how you're serving.

I'm going to back you up and and this is this is how we're going

to honor your part in this. I'm I'm putting this in place to

honor you in in the work that you're doing.

So it's similar. I think that's awesome what

you're saying. Like, yeah, that's not to take

away primary giftings from the wife dynamic in there too.

But if that's not you dad's father's, you better have your

wife back in in how she's leading in that like you, you

need to be cheerleader, supporter, enforcer of of how

she's leading. One of the most interesting

things that kids can sometimes do for their own potential gain

or benefit is they can pit mom and dad against each other.

Well, mom or dad said no. So without without communicating

that, I'll go ask the other to see if I get a different answer

and ultimately putting them against each other.

And my wife and I, I think we saw that once before.

We said, oh, never again. And so now The thing is when you

know, and they're older now, so it doesn't happen very often,

but if one of our kids were to ask us something, have you

talked to mom? Have you talked to dad?

Because we need to know, quite honestly, if the other person is

already given a decision and whatever that decision is, agree

or not, I'm always going to back my wife every single time.

I'm never going to undermine her because I do respect her and I

do love her. And so even if I quietly

disagreed with whatever that was her and I can talk about that

later without the kids around, but I'm never going to, I'm

never going to show her up and I shouldn't because she is my

partner and all these things and there's just no reason to ever

do that. Yeah, no, that's that's a good

dynamic. And yeah, definitely not even if

you disagree, it's a well, I'm going to talk to your mom about

that. Like you don't, you don't.

You don't unpack that in front of the kid.

No, no, be be on team marriage and the kids, you know, they'll,

they'll hear the final outcome at some point.

Yeah, so first, first three as men designed, oh man, I have too

many pages in front of me. Men creating God's image to

reflect his character. Men called to work and guard,

cultivate and protect. Men are designed for sacrificial

leadership in relationship. And then in that I mean in

marriage, in parenthood, men are called the fatherhood and

spiritual instruction. The sort of mandate 1 flesh

union, be fruitful and multiply implies discipleship with it.

Within that dynamic, Ephesians 6 Paul writes bring up your

children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

He writes in Ephesians 3 avoid provoking them to anger, but

teach them diligently. This is something we didn't dive

into yesterday. I brought up those verses.

I didn't jump into the do not provoke provoke them to anger

part of this and we were actually talking earlier.

I hope you noted yesterday I didn't, I did not talk so much

about feelings and emotions that are that like define a man,

because I think those are all that's that's largely societally

infused. There isn't to my knowledge and

theology. Man, you can guard me.

I don't I don't think there's a passage in the Bible that like

we have the fruits of the spirit, Lovejoy, peace,

patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness, self-control.

Like there's not a passage somewhere that says the fruits

of a man are strength, pride, anger, discipline.

Like I don't, I don't, I don't think there's a list of those

fruits of fruits of the men and fruits of the women, right?

The. Bible.

Doesn't even prescribe specific characteristics for for men to

embody, right? But it was interesting talking

with our group last night. You know, we just kind of gave

the general survey. I think it was coming out of

your first study guide question, which is OK.

So what have we seen societally or in our own experiences?

Like what do you what do you think is defines a man?

And when we talked about emotions, it was interesting

that we all kind of collectively grew up with it was OK for men

to express anger and maybe only in themselves, they felt like it

was not OK to express sadness or vulnerability.

And I find that pretty interesting because again, I

didn't totally grow up that way, but I can see it all over the

place. Like, man, it's, it's, it's

fine. We all expect you to express

anger, but maybe it's not so fine if you're expressing

vulnerability. And I don't think the Bible

would ever indicate that that's the, that that is the case.

But that's how we've grown up. And, you know, culture and

family ties it, it draws a lot of that stuff out in US or it

suppresses other things in us. We can't totally escape, you

know, our cultural moment or how we were raised, but we can

recognize it, we can see it, and we can then look at the Bible.

We can look at God's word and say, OK, does how I was raised

or my culture, does that line up with what God says I'm supposed

to be as a man or as a woman? And you know, in the case of

men, I think we've leaned too hard into stoicism for too long

now. Of course, the overcorrection of

our culture is now men need to basically almost be effeminate

to be accessible because otherwise we can label it as

toxic masculinity. And again, it's the pendulum

swinging too far in either direction.

It's not, It's not. That's not how God, as you said

as the architect, designed this thing to work.

Yeah, and that avoid provoking them to anger.

We're going to have AI maybe refocusing the meaning of mere

mortal Monday, but I'm going to have a mere mortal moment here

as your yeah, pastors are humans too.

This avoid provoking them to anger hit me between the eyes

yesterday because I have I mean I have yelled at my children and

this is I actually saw this. I'll come back to mere mortal

Monday in a minute, but I wanted to share this post.

It's from a an account called good financial sense that he's I

think he's a pretty good financial social influencer

shares some things about random things every once in a while,

but he jumped on this. Here's what I noticed trend a

little bit. I stopped dealing at my kids for

a week. Here's what I noticed and he

lists off we relate to school every day.

They didn't clean up a single thing.

They didn't shower, they didn't do their homework.

They looked homeless. What?

No, I did not. I did not see that going that

direction. That's what that's what I

thought it was funny that like, OK, his greater point and of

course he got razzed in the comments for like, oh, you've

conditioned your kids to only yell, to only listen to you when

you yell at them. No, his greater point was like

his kids lacked discipline for a week and their lives were a

train wreck like so there there has to be that line of

discipline. But as we called out the 1st

Corinthians 16 we'll get into in just in just a second.

Let all that you do be done in love that that's written All in

all in Paul's writings even OK Jesus love the Lord your God

love people as yourself right love your neighbor as yourself.

The things we do have to be done in love true thing in love.

Let let everything that you let everything that you do be

seasoned with grace and love like we have.

We have to do that even in discipline.

So raising my voice at my children is not very loving like

gonna gonna own that. I think you all understand like

most of you have been brought to that point where they just can't

get their attention and do what you need them to do unless you

do that. I'm not saying that's right.

I'm not saying I'm justified in that.

I just, I hope that's relatable. However, where it hit me between

the eyes. Mere mortal Monday pastors are

humans too. Yesterday one of my children had

an outburst at the rest of their siblings playing all the

trampoline playing this game and it it went from zero to 10 in an

instant. Like they did.

They just had a quick disagreement and one of them

just hit 10 and raised their voice at the rest of their

siblings. And that hit me between.

Oh, guess where they learned that from?

Yeah, that was me. That was that was me.

So I think that's part of the warning here is is the modeling

of that. I think the other part of the

warning in avoid provoking them to anger.

Discipline has to be done in love.

Otherwise, I think it incites rebellion.

It, it's just going to become if, even if it's God's truth,

even if it's God's laws, which are perfect and true and the

blueprints for how we should live if they are given in such a

rigid, disciplinary and authoritarian way without love,

even as adults, we, we just naturally want to not do that,

right? Nope.

That's that's oppressive. That sounds like a bad time.

I don't, I don't need the man telling me what I can and can't

do, right? Like that's that's just that's

the provoke to anger. I think it's provoke to anger to

the things of God even. Like if we do discipline in a

non loving way they're just going to want to reject it all.

Absolutely. And maybe, maybe they should.

Because here's the thing. Any kind of discipline without

love as the basis or background or impetus to it, that's just

called punishment. And no, no, absolutely not.

You know, because The thing is maybe, well, let's take the

example. Your kid does something they

weren't supposed to do. And you know, you fire off

whether provoke, you know, you fire off and you say, oh, you're

grounded for a week. OK, Was that punishment or was

that discipline? Because I think there's a clear

line there. Discipline is built to help

teach you because I love you and I and I want you to be better at

this and I and I don't want you to make XYZ mistake.

Punishment is just. I'm having a bad day.

Care, I'm having a bad day and now you're going to get it.

So I think like God disciplines and the Bible says God

disciplines those whom he loves. Punishment is something totally

different. And I think we punish when we

let our anger get out of control.

Yep. So and that comes back to first

repenter too. Like if you, if you hit that

level, OK, that happened, you need to go back and, and own

that and, and say, OK, you, you were wrong.

I was wrong. I, I acted wrongly in bringing

this discipline to you. Will you forgive me for that?

And and that's, that's going to go a long way to modeling that

behavior in your in your children as well.

As a as a man, as a husband, as a dad, that was one of the most

powerful things that maybe, and I would have to ask my kids

specifically, but that was probably one of the more

powerful things that happened in my development as a Christian is

being able to call myself out in front of them and not being so

prideful and arrogant as to say, well, they had it coming and I

don't need to apologize to them because it's their fault.

I was like that anyway. OK, sure.

Maybe the initial thing was, you know, something that they've

done wrong. But my reaction, I'm, I'm the

man. I'm supposed to be able to

control that in some way and to bring them up and to show them

what a man looks like who is not punishing because I'm angry, but

disciplining because I love. And that was incredibly powerful

in my life and my family's life. That's really good.

First Corinthians 1613 and 14 is the is the last point men are to

glorify God in strength and love.

First Corinthians well first Corinthians can't say that word

today. The Bible says no First

Corinthians 1613 and 14 be watchful, stand firm in the

faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in

love. From this I derived men are to

glorify God in strength and love.

That's that's the ultimate purpose to glorify God.

And I just wanted to share this reflection of just a quick

experience that I had on our way down to Florida over spring

break. We were driving through, I think

it was Birmingham, AL, bigger metropolitan space, 55 lane wide

highway. And we were, we weren't all the

way over in the right lane, but there was a semi truck on the

left and I and I was passing them.

And just as I get to like the front of the semi truck, this

car comes cutting across from our left across like they cut

the semi off. They clearly didn't see we were

there like, and it was a, it was a brake swerve sort of move at

highway speeds. We're going 6065 miles an hour

for sure. And in that moment, and there's

lots of other, lots of other things that went through my

head, I was, I mean, I was scared for an instant.

I was reactive and defensive for an instant.

Then I was just mad at the person that brought this threat

into my life and with, with my family in tow and all these

things. But it actually got me thinking

about this verse. This is the this is the key

verse for Joey Martin's stand firm and act like men book.

So we we've gone through this backwards and forwards, but that

that be watchful part. If I wasn't, if I wasn't alert

and aware of what was happening in and around my family in that

moment, I would not have been ready to react.

If, if that car was sin or death, I mean quite literally in

that moment, possibly death. But but if that was sin or

death, wanting to assault, coming to assault, entering into

the proximity of my family, how do I react as father, husband,

shepherd of that household? Am I ready to react?

Am I ready to? Am I watchful and I am I

standing firm in those things to protect my family and am I, am I

reacting rightly? Am I ready to react?

Is, is basically what it was coming out for.

So after I after I calmed down from that moment, like I had, I

had some of those, I had some of those things.

But guys, men, fathers perspective fathers, husbands,

is there sin there threatening your family, threatening death,

really on on your family? And it could be it doesn't even

have to be your sin necessarily. Not that we ever have a sin

really licked, but but I get that.

There's seasons where it feels like no man, like there's not,

there's not stuff hanging over me right now like I'm I'm good.

We're in step of the spirit. This is things are good with the

wife, good with the kids. Like it could be someone else's

saying it could be a barreling car out of nowhere bringing sin

and disaster to your household. Are you watchful?

Are you ready to stand firm in opposition to that?

Wow. You know, you, you made me think

quite quickly. You know, if you're raising

kids, for example, and maybe they're teenagers, do you know

their friends? Not that you have to micromanage

who they're friends with dads. But do you know?

But do you know them? Do you know who they're hanging

out with? Do you know that kind of stuff?

Are you being watchful? Are you guarding their hearts

from friends or potential boyfriends, girlfriends, all

that kind of stuff? Are you watchful?

Are you guarding their hearts? Are you doing that with your

spouse? You know, are you watchful for

how she comes home from work and what she kind of tells you about

this boss or this Co worker? Like are you, are you watchful

of their heart? And and that is as men, like we

need to guard the hearts of our family pretty closely.

Again, you're never a micromanager.

You're not telling them necessarily what they can or

can't do. Not necessarily.

But I mean, like, are you watchful?

Are you, are you the vigilant 1 standing firm for them?

I hope so. Yeah, I hope so.

Yeah, that's what we're it's what we're called to,

definitely. So the actual Mere Mortal Monday

takes some summing up the the sermon in one sentence, which

isn't easy. But for for mere mortals this

Monday, what was the point of this week?

God's design for men is strength and love, courage and

gentleness, work and worship. This is God's design.

That's it. There.

It is, yeah. That's all we've got for this

week on the ERC leftovers. Thanks for hanging with us.

Church next week, Biblical womanhood, Chris, going to take

a crack at that. And.

Pray for me. Yeah, no, it'll be great.

It'll be stated. It'll be stated humbly, if

anything. Terribly humbly, yes.

Yeah, lots of things coming up in church life.

The month of May is packed with a confirmation Sunday and

Mother's Day and graduation Sunday as well.

So lots of things coming up. Family bingo this Friday.

Oh yeah. Yeah, we love doing life and

community with you all. Church, if you would like to

join a life group, please find Kristen or Lissa at the

Connection Center on Sunday mornings and we can get you

connected with community outside of just Sunday mornings.

We'd love for you to be known. The New to ERC Luncheon is

coming up this Sunday as well. If you feel like you're new or

just we don't know you and you would like us to know you come

to the New to ERC Luncheon after church this Sunday, April 19th.

We'd love to see you there. Until then, have a blessed week.