Marriage, Singleness, and Sex

Transcript

[0:00]If we could all find a seat, that would be great. Looking forward to spending some time with you this morning as we once again dive into the study of Christian ethics.

[0:08]Introduction to Christian Ethics

[0:09]We're going to continue today with a 10-week series on Christian ethics. Again, this series uses largely Wayne Grudem's book, Christian Ethics, same name, which is shown on the screen here. You can use that QR code if you'd like to obtain a copy. Today's a great example. We simply just don't have enough time to cover even half the material that's in this chapter. And so if it would be a blessing to you, if you want to dig more into different subjects, there's a lot of topics we aren't able to cover due to time. Go ahead and grab a copy of that book. I commend it to you. The elders would commend it to you. That's why we're using it. Again, our scripture, God's word is our authority. So this is in deference to that. But nevertheless, it's a helpful resource, and I'd encourage you to get a copy. There's also handouts in the back. I think most of you have copies. On the back is some links to, or some references that you could also use to expand on the different topics today.

[1:04]Work and Worship

[1:02]I tried to include some for each of them. Well, two weeks ago, Logan taught about God's plan for his good designs for work. So we're liberated from the false belief that work is a curse and instead may worship God through work, rest, and vacation. We didn't get to those topics, unfortunately, another topic. We just didn't quite get all of it in today.

[1:22]And then last week, Conrad surveyed a biblical perspective on debt and capital.

[1:26]Exploring Marriage

[1:27]Today's topic is marriage through the chapter. The chapter also spends quite a lot of time talking about other topics, including sex and singleness. So the chapter is just labeled marriage, but we will be talking about sex and singleness as well, Lord willing. And we have two topics left, as you can see on this today. So divorce and remarriage, we're not going to cover that at all because that'll be covered next week. And then business ethics will round out our 10-week series.

[1:54]Before we get started, let's commend our time to the Lord. Lord, it's great to dig into interesting and tough topics to learn more about Christian ethics, but at the end of the day, we don't need information, we need transformation. So Lord, I ask that you take theology this morning and doctrine and propel us towards doxology, towards worship. So just like with work, not being a curse, but an opportunity to worship, I pray that in marriage, in singleness, in sex, that we would celebrate your good designs, that we would worship and give thanks for those things. Lord, we each find ourselves in different stages of life, and I ask that we find great contentment and purpose as we meditate on your good designs in each of those elements, Lord. So, instruct us today. No one needs to hear anything I have. There is nothing new under the sun, and I certainly have no wisdom to add. But you and your designs have instructed us. You have spoken through your words. So speak, Lord, I ask for the blessing of your church, your bride here this morning, for the joy that is set before us. May you instruct us, Lord. And so the world might see your kingdom through marriage, singleness, and sex. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

[3:09]Questions on Marriage

[3:09]So some questions we'll be tackling today include, what are the essential elements for a marriage to occur? Why does scripture place a high value on sexual intimacy within a marriage, but prohibit it outside a marriage? Should the Bible's definition apply to all cultures and all societies? And what does the Bible say about singleness? After that, I didn't realize when I assigned myself this topic, this topic covered more than marriage, so a little surprise as I dug into the chapter. But I trust that God, in His grand sovereign plans, will use our topics about singleness and about sex to encourage and propel us to find a God-word understanding and make this more vertical as a result than if it had been just about marriage.

[3:57]Okay, so what is marriage? That's the first one. We'll cover marriage first. For nearly all of recorded history, in all cultures, all societies, marriage has been defined as the legal union of a man and a woman as husband and wife. That's the dictionary definition, and it's consistent with Scripture. However, Scripture would say that marriage is a lifelong covenant relationship, between a man and a woman that is established by God. So, you see the two definitions there. Quick survey, quick popcorn style. What are some differences that you see in those two definitions? What is important distinctives between those two?

[4:38]Those are the three. Ding, ding, ding. Survey says, lifelong, covenant, and established by God. Those are the three that really stuck out to me as well. Lifelong. This relationship is not disposable. It is not temporary. It's not for ACs, and then let's move on to something different. No, it is one spouse until the other spouse expires. Covenant, it's a relationship. Covenant is a legal term, but this covenant word, we don't use that often aside from marriage, which ironically is what we're talking about, right? So we don't have often a lot of context, but it is a weighty term that we don't use much elsewhere. And established by God, God designed this covenantal union between a man and a woman. So humanity, be that a philosopher or a community or the government itself, they cannot redefine it. God established it. He designed it. Nobody can co-opt it to something different. They may say it's something different, but at the end of the day, that doesn't make it anything other than what we say here. A lifelong covenantal relationship between a man and a woman established by God. With scriptures our authority, let's gird this definition with the word. Turn with me to Malachi 2.14, which will be on the screen here.

[5:48]But you say, why does he not? Because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. This covenant between husband and wife was a solemn agreement between a man and a woman to be faithful to one another in marriage for a lifetime before God as witness. Back in week one, if you can remember back that far, eight weeks ago in this series, we noted in 1 Peter 3.7 that a breach in God's command that husbands show honor to their wives could impede their prayers. Similarly, here in Malachi, we read that God was not accepting sacrifices by men who were faithless to the covenanted wife before God of their youth. Lifelong fidelity of husbands to their wives in both instances, and certainly the reverse ought to be true of wives of their husbands directly impacts that man's relationship with God. The main point for our conversation today is that it is lifelong, solemn agreement between a man and a woman before God. He is the witness. He is the union maker.

[6:58]In both Matthew 19 as well as Mark 10, we read an account of Pharisees testing Jesus, in this instance, about marriage marriage, and divorce. Jesus cites Genesis 2.24 that discloses God's design for marriage, God uniting two, a man and a woman, to make one, which they ought not to separate. And this union is really a reunion, isn't it? Because God fashioned Eve from what God removed from Adam.

[7:27]Marriage ceremonies are often public and the covenantal vows are made before witnesses, the foremost of which is God.

[7:35]These two elements, a public audience and a covenantal vow before God, are highlighted in wedding officiant texts, like this one that we'll have on the screen here, which draws language from the Book of Common Prayer. This text reads, We have come together here in the sight of God and in the presence of this congregation to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony, which is an honorable state of life instituted in the beginning by God himself, signifying to us the spiritual union that is between Christ and the church. Both God and the gathered congregation witnessed this union of a man and a woman, the act God himself instituted in the beginning. So we can ask ourselves in this ceremony text, why? Why, God? Why did he design marriage this way? Why does it need to stay this way? What is the purpose of marriage? What is or maybe purposes of marriage? Those are good questions. So, in short order, we'll come back to that wedding officiant text. It's often referred to as some variant of it, but let's turn first to Genesis 1, starting in verse 26.

[8:38]Then God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness, and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the heaven, and over the livestock, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth. So, God created man in his own image. In the image of God, he created him. Male and female, he created them. Three times in this two-verse section, we see that God created humanity in the image of God, with verse 27 showing that God's male and female creation images God.

[9:12]In verse 26, we read our image, which most acknowledge as the earliest overt disclosure of the Trinity in Scripture. Purpose number one, then, as you see at the bottom, humanity was designed to image God, male and female to image God. If mankind was designed to image God, marriage then, being a unique lifelong union between God's male and female creation image bearers, markedly images God. So, man, woman, image God, together, in union, even more so. Think of the eternal relationship between God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. In some measure, a healthy, lifelong marriage between the composite, the male and the female, image bearers, is a dim reflection of that eternal, divine relation within the Godhead. Second purpose for marriage, according to God's word, is that marriage is the means by which God fulfills His mandate to humanity to be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth. Continue on in the passage in Genesis, And God blessed them, and God said to them, Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the heavens, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.

[10:31]Genesis 1.28. God commands humanity to be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth. Populating the earth is a pre-fall directive from God. So, reproduction is a good part of God's design. Often, where you find men and women seeking after the Lord, there you will find children. In fact, even today, where in developed nations across the globe, you see a reproductive freefall, evangelical Christians stand out. They represent one of the few groups, by and large, that are multiplying by having children. So give thanks to God. You look over there in the nursery, it is bursting. You are fulfilling God's mandate to multiply, and that's a good thing, and we should be thankful. A third purpose of marriage, and the one referenced in that marriage ceremony text, is marriage images the relationship between God, Christ, and his church. Ephesians 5, 22 through 23, Paul instructs how wives and husbands, obviously in a marriage, ought to conduct themselves. In verse 25, we read that husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Rolling back three verses in verse 22, wives are commanded to submit to your own husbands as the church submits to Christ. Finally, in verse 31, which we will see above, therefore a man shall leave his father and mother, held fast to his wife, and the two become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I'm saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

[12:01]The mystery long hidden here that Paul discloses by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit is that all marriages, everywhere, for all time, including Adam and Eve, are to image and point to the relationship of Christ and his church.

[12:15]Husbands, when you sacrificially love your wives, you not only love and serve her, but you're offering an evangelistic example to a watching world of Christ's love for His church. Wives, when you submit to your husbands, their leadership, inasmuch as it accords with God's word, you likewise winsomely image the sweet dependence of the adoring church upon Christ, similarly becoming a witness to the world. Husbands, does the way that you talk to your wives, act towards them, and think about your bride better prepare your wife to be presented as splendorous to the Lord? Praise be to God that Christ's love for his bride, the church, does not fade with time. Never fades. May God likewise grant us grace to sacrificially love and submit to our spouse that he has gifted to us for all of our days. Next, consider the effects of marriage. Gerudim notes that marriage changes a person's status before God and before society.

[13:14]Going to Matthew 19, verses 5 and 6, we read, Jesus telling the Pharisees, Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife. We just read back in Genesis, right? And the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate. Jesus, in his chastising response to the Pharisees' testing question about divorce, highlights at least two notable facts. First, God is the one that ultimately does the joining. So this isn't simply a human ceremony, but rather it is a vertical one in which God does a union work. Second, this union transforms other societal relations. Whereas before, the man, the woman, would have had separate households or families, and likely would have been under the authority of their respective parents, now they become a new family, distinct from their parents, since, quote, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, unquote. Most societies recognize this new family in countless, maybe even in mundane ways. Think, we all just did taxes, right? Married, filing jointly, on tax forms, legal presumption of surviving spouse having primary or even sole inheritance rights, or the expectation of one spouse attending to the health needs of an ailing spouse, even until death to his part.

Matthew 19:5

[14:31]In our current conveniently morally relativistic society, defining marriage and talking about the importance of marriage may seem antiquated, maybe even unnecessary. Outmoded, right? Believing Scripture to be authoritative, inerrant, and sufficient, we must contest for a biblically defined marriage. Marriage as defined in the Bible was not defined for Israel only or for Christians only. Our foundational verses that we've recited a couple times here about marriage are drawn from the account of creation prior to the fall. Moving back one verse in Matthew's account, we read in verse four, he answered, have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female and said, therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh? God instituted marriage, marriage biblically being defined, as we've already said, as a lifelong union between one man and one woman by God himself God instituted marriage for all people In all societies For all time.

[15:36]This is why God is just in pouring out wrath on Sodom and Gomorrah for their perversion of God's designs. Likewise, God uses John the Baptist to rebuke Herod Antipas. I, maybe like you, thought he was an Israelite. Not true. He was an Idumean ruler of the Jews, not an Israelite. And John the Baptist rebukes him for committing incest by taking his brother's wife, in contrast with God's definition of marriage. Similarly, Paul offers wisdom as well as judgment and correction, respectively, in his letters to the Gentile churches in Rome and Corinth, Gentile churches that would not be constrained by Jewish law. Quoting Grudem, So from Genesis to Revelation, from the beginning of the Bible to the end, God has established moral standards regarding the nature and conduct of marriage. Moreover, he indicates repeatedly that he will hold all people on the earth accountable if they choose to disobey those standards. So to summarize what we've covered so far, one, marriage definition. Marriage is a lifelong covenant relationship between man and a woman that is established by God. Two, purposes of marriage, at least three, imaging God, fulfilling God's command to multiply, imaging Christ and his church. 3.

[16:47]The effects of marriage. The union of marriage is God's binding action, not man's, and marriage transforms relationships in our society. 4. God's definition of marriage is morally binding on all people, in all societies, for all human history. There's certainly more talk about this. Grimm covers other topics such as marriage being the fundamental institution in any society, as well as briefly addressing polygamy. He also talks about how governments ought to follow God's design. They're the ones that are able to reaffirm God's established order for marriage in that definition.

[17:23]Transition to Singleness

[17:18]I'm passing on those because, God willing, we can cover both singleness and sex as a result. But before we do either of those other subjects, before we cover either of those topics, does anyone have any questions or comments on what we've covered so far about marriage? So to repeat what was just asked from me, more stated, is that sometimes as a single, maybe a lifelong single, it can feel a little unfair. It feels like that marriage is celebrated and singleness is silent in the church. We're going to talk about that. Other topics, questions or comments about this topic.

[17:55]The Gift of Singleness

[17:52]Okay, everybody's eager to get on to singleness, I guess. Moving on then. In this Christian ethics chapter about marriage, again, I was surprised to find a lengthy section about singleness. And I hope and pray our time covering this topic will provoke us to a biblically-oriented, a biblically-aligned understanding about singleness and celebrate it. Grudem starts this section out by quoting author Barry Danilick, who wrote, Of the three great monotheistic religions of our modern time, that being Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, only christianity affirms singleness as a distinctive calling and gift within the community of god's people and like was already just cited in the comment part my 30 years as a christian i confess i've heard lots about marriage being heralded as and just all over the place as god's good gift but rarely if ever have i ever heard a sermon about the goodness for saints called a life of singleness it's notably absent in my life and maybe it's the same for you, I think that's remarkable when we think about Christ himself who lived the ultimate godly life of righteousness in singleness on the earth. Or you think about Paul, the Apostle Paul, following God's call on his life of singleness, though he had the right, as he said in 1 Corinthians 9.5, to take a believing wife along, as the other apostles did. He had that right.

[19:13]Paul elaborates on some of the ministry benefits of singleness, even stating in 1 Corinthians 7.7 that, I wish that all were as I myself am, but each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. Later in the same chapter, Paul's discourse on singleness picks back up in verse 25 through the end of the chapter, jumping to verse 32 of that section.

[19:40]I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order, and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord. Again, 1 Corinthians 7, verses 32-35.

1 Corinthians 7:32–35

[20:16]Paul commends, not commands, he commends the life of singleness to those whom God has equipped and called to singleness. The single are free from divided affections, interests, and attention. Think again of the husband who is seeking ways to sacrificially love his wife, as well as the wife who's seeking how to please her husband. The single may devote themselves to the Lord, to holiness in body and spirit. Some questions we could ask, then, when we think about the topic of singleness could be, what value do single people bring to the church? What does singleness in a church disclose to our community? What does singleness in a church reveal about the gospel? What does singleness affirm about our purpose or our identity about God? What are practical implications within the context of a church made up of married and single people? You're not going to find church just of married, just of single, what does it look like practically? How do I know if I'm called or not called singleness? What if I long to be married, but haven't found a marriage partner? We're going to cover a lot of these, survey them. We're not going to get into a lot of depth on any one of these questions. And again, I'd refer you back to this chapter. There's just so much more that I can't get to. We presently live in a season what many have heard before as and already not yet. That spans from the resurrection of Christ to his second coming.

[21:37]In this time, this age between what's happened and what's yet to come that we anticipate, we continue to work, continue to have children, to wait in anticipation for the promised inheritance purchased on the cross and confirmed at Christ's resurrection. The faith family blend of married and single people today reminds us that the true family of God is spiritual and that even now God is building His kingdom. It is interesting to consider Matthew 22.30, Mark 12.25, and Luke 20.35, where Jesus states that in the coming age, people will neither, quote, neither marry nor are given in marriage. These verses strongly suggest that we will all be single in the coming age. In the present age, single people are naturally feeling the keen absence of intimacy and companionship that would be normative of a healthy marriage, as well as the absence of biological children. At the landing, we often refer to this local church as a faith family. And God has designed it so. In the church, this spiritual or faith family, we have spiritual brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, even children, which have no blood relation but can be significant.

[22:47]Filling, and potential intimacy and companionship voids. They can fill those voids. References to these significant spiritual relationships litter the New Testament. But just as an example, two examples here, Matthew 12, 50, Jesus said, for whoever does the will of my father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother. And then Paul in 1 Timothy 5, 1 and 2 says, do not rebuke an older man, but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters in all purity. Those Those abiding in Christ have relationships that can be sweeter and more substantive than those with our non-Christian biological family. Who hasn't experienced that kind of sweet fellowship with a saint, a brother or sister in the faith, that may be never replicated with a literal brother or sister or mother or father?

[23:42]Jesus' work on the cross transformed us from rebels to eternally adopted children, looking to our Heavenly Father, and in pursuing His will on earth, we gain a spiritual family. Single men and women enable us to enjoy and display to a watching world the veracity of God's transforming work, which includes establishing a new life. Family. Do we see and thank God for the brothers and sisters he has gathered here as part of our faith family? Our married and single brothers or sisters regularly gathering in various ways that bring connection and build up Christ's church, that faith family. By God's grace, let us gather together as a faith family, loving on older men as fathers, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters in all purity.

[24:30]Further, may God add to our numbers spiritual children, not merely through natural growth, wonderful that absolutely is, but as our faith family lives a bold gospel witness and attends to God's word and seeks our Father's face in prayer regularly for a harvest in our community and among nations. Single people contribute to the growth of our faith family by becoming fathers and mothers to his spiritual children through evangelism and discipleship. Paul addresses the Corinthian church as my beloved children, the Galatian church my little children, Timothy as my true child in the faith, and Titus as my true child in the common faith. Finally, single people are a helpful reminder that our identity, our value, and the fullness of life in Christ does not depend upon marriage or having biological children.

[25:22]Embracing Singleness

[25:19]We all live for decades single, and many conclude their lives single. Single people, like Jesus and Paul and numberless others through the ages, have fulfilling and joyful lives in god's calling to singleness in the age to come as already noted we will live for eternity not married but as singles with a fullness and joy we cannot presently imagine our core identity as blood-bought believers is found neither in marriage nor in children god may provide through marriage but our core identity our fundamental foundational identity is in god himself and our chief purpose purpose married or single is to glorify god and enjoy him forever.

[25:57]You've heard before us to call ourselves a Reformed Church. That means we joyfully embrace God's sovereignty over all things. Reutem includes a helpful quote by John Piper about God's sovereignty as we think about marriage and singleness, citing, God rules in these affairs, and we will be happier when we bow before his inscrutable ways and confess, from Scripture, Psalm 8411, no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless. I admit, I don't know the vacancy or intermittent loneliness some may feel who've lived 40, 50, or 60 years as a single. I pray that as we think about God's greater kingdom-building purposes, we can embrace and desire to embrace His plans with durable hope and humility, even in regards to marriage and singleness. Don't become bitter. Don't become resentful in your present estate, dear one. But lean into God's fuller purposes as He has for you, even if mysterious today. And consider the preeminent love He has for you as demonstrated by Christ on the cross, which resulted in your justification and adoption. In every way, including in your present singleness or marriage, God has called you to be part of this faith family and uniquely equipped you to accomplish God's kingdom work in his strength.

[27:15]Church, as already alluded by our dear sister, I think we can do better. I think we can do better in folding in our single men and women in this church into regular sweet fellowship as a faith family. We're bursting at the seams with ministries to young families, which is a beautiful provision by God. I don't want to diminish that. I want to give thanks to that. We're holding a 10-week series Sunday school on marriage. Also, tremendous, happy to see men and women locking arms and walking in that God-made union, instilled by Him for good. But may God impress upon us what He might be doing for us to better honor and love on those whom He has called in this season or for life to the life of singleness.

[27:54]Summary of Singleness

[27:54]Summarizing for singleness, singleness is a gift and calling for some,

[28:01]Understanding Sex

[27:59]enabling unique ministry and focus. Second, singleness can demonstrate the veracity of god's church as a faith family to a watching world third singleness can powerfully display that the identity and value of a christ follower is in god not in a spouse not children, fourth god is sovereign in all things including marriage and singleness so let us worship and bow down before him any thoughts or questions about singleness okay let's move on let's Consider the final topic on Grudem's chapter, Sex.

[28:31]Returning to Genesis 1.27, we recognize that God made man and woman sexually distinct and commanded this couple and humanity to fulfill his mandate to multiply through sex. Starting in verse 27 of Genesis 1. So God created man in his own image. In the image of God, he created him. Male and female, he created them. And God blessed them. And God said to them, be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth. And God saw everything that he had made. and behold, it was very good.

[29:04]Before sin was part of humanity, God's very good designs included Adam and Eve, a man and a woman, having sexual intercourse so as to fulfill God's command to multiply. Even in this formative creation account, just one chapter later in Genesis 2, 24 and 25, we read that sex from the beginning was designed to be within the context of marriage. So turning there, Genesis 2, 24, 25. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. The phrase one flesh beckons us to remember that Eve was formed by God from Adam's bone, and that the institutional union of marriage and the physical union of sex reunite the now distinct husband and wife. This pre-fall husband and wife enjoyed relational intimacy and openness displayed physically, without shame, in their nakedness before one another.

[30:05]While sin in the fall marred that intimacy and that openness, God's good design for sex within the confines of marriage is embraced throughout Scripture after the fall. Proverbs 5, 15-19, and the entire book of Song of Solomon are representative examples. We're not going to read Song of Solomon this morning. You're welcome to do that on your own. But let's jump over to Proverbs 5, starting in verse 15. Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well. Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets? Let them be for yourself alone and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you with all times with delight, be intoxicated always in her love. Grudem goes a little bit into depth as far as what, I don't have that one on the screen, in Proverbs 5, 15 through 19, Grudem goes into a little bit more

[31:02]God’s Design for Sex

[31:00]detail what the water is, but I think you kind of get the implication where that's going. In an age that's saturated with a deceptive, harmful caricature of sex Plastered on advertisements.

[31:10]That's sung about in music Displayed on TV or in film Christian ethics compels us to step back Scrap whatever warped understanding we've gained through being immersed in this contemporary culture And root our understanding about sex, singleness, marriage In God's authoritative word The Bible, both New Testament and Old Testament Is far from silent about sex Yes.

[31:33]For instance, the Bible commends husbands and wives regularly engage in sex. 1 Corinthians 7, where we read, starting in verse 2, But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, each woman her own husband. And the husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but his wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourself to prayer. But then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

[32:15]In this section, Groom states, for a long quote here, God's word is teaching that continuing to have sexual relations within marriage is an important part of a healthy relationship. When Paul says, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control, in verse 5, he indicates that Satan wants to tempt us to stray in our hearts and actions, and that this implies that he, Satan, does not want us to have physical joy of sexual union within marriage, and suggests that he will oppose it however he can. Therefore, married couples continuing to have sex with one another is one way of doing battle against Satan's plans, and is one protection that God has provided for us in single against temptation. Sexual intimacy within marriage tends to keep our desires focused within our own marriage and tends to give us strong desires for our own spouse. This is the opposite of coveting another person's wife or husband, as is prohibited in the Tenth Commandment." So, apart from physical limitations, there ought not to be sexless marriages.

[33:20]I know it's a hard one to say, but I mean, I've heard from others that this age is marked sometimes by sexless marriage. That ought not be true. It is the protective means that God has chosen to use for husbands and wives to draw to one another into a delightful and rightful affections, as well as to avoid temptation. The Lord further circumscribes his good designs for sex to be held within the confines of marriage. So repeatedly, God defines any sex outside of marriage as a sin. A quick survey to underscore this point. The 10th commandment, you shall not commit adultery. I'm sorry, 10 commandments, that's the seventh. The 10th is you shall not covet your neighbor's wife. So those two together. Another point, wisdom literature, such as Proverbs 5, verses 3 through 11, chapter 6, 27 through 33, chapter 7, 21 through 23, and on and on. Plead with the reader, avoid forbidden sex, colorfully describing the destructive results, like holding fire to your chest. Who's going to throw, have a flamethrower pointed at their own chest? It just would be stupid, frankly, but sin is stupid. And then a second example, as the ox goes to the slaughter, so he does not know it will cost him his life. Talking about man pursuing the forbidden woman in adultery. He's like an ox, just glaze-eyed, moving towards to a death march there.

Proverbs 5:3–11

[34:41]And then there's sweeping passages of the law, such as Leviticus 18, and then all of 18, and then chapter 20, verses 10 through 21, that explicitly call out a host of specific sinful perversions of sex. It's interesting, I think, as I read through those, you don't just hear the nots, but then you hear the why. The why, both of these extended passages of Leviticus, God discloses why behind his commands for his people to refrain from these distortions of sex.

[35:10]Leviticus 19, 1 and 2, right after that long chapter in 18, about all ways not to have sex. And the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, Speak to all the congregation of the people of Israel, and say to them, You shall be holy, for I, the Lord your God, am holy. And then, two chapters later, Leviticus 20, verse 26, You shall be holy to me, for I am the Lord, I, the Lord, am holy, and have separated you from the peoples, that you shall be mine.

Leviticus 20:26

[35:40]God's called people are called to holiness as God is holy. God drove out the nations before Israel because, quote, they did all these things, and therefore I detested them. Leviticus 20, 23, including the many and varied distortions of sex. There's continuity between the Old Testament and New Testament, affirming God's good design for sex between husbands and wives, and his detestation of twisting the gift of sex. You could refer to, and there's a whole host of these, and not comprehensive, but just representatively, Matthew 15, 19, as well as chapter 19, verse 18, Luke chapter 18, verse 20, Romans 2, 22, as well as 13, 9 and 13, James 2, 11, 2 Peter 2, 14, just to name a few. So as you have time, turn to those later. Also, both Old Testament and New Testament affirm that God cares not only about our physical actions in this regard, but also the desires of our heart. Holiness isn't outward only, but God also looks at the affections and desires of our hearts. Proverbs 6.25a, do not desire her beauty in your heart, again referencing to the forbidden woman, or Matthew 5.27 and 28. You've heard it said, you shall not commit adultery, but I say to you, that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Luke 18:20

[37:03]Brothers and sisters, you're called ones. You are called. God has his affections upon you. And like Israel, God has called you and I to be holy as he is holy. And he has done the work, the crucifying work on our behalf to make it so. Sin crouches at your door and mine. Our current culture is indoctrinating us every day to say, sex out of marriage, his good designs for marriage, it's just fine.

[37:29]The Battle for Holiness

[37:29]Advertisers in Hollywood are deluging us with distortions of God's good designs for sex And the volume of its loud messaging threatens to desensitize us Making us, making you, making me, more vulnerable to wrongful desires which are sin and an affront to God We're called not just to purity, but to holiness, We are at war, and we must be vigilant in this battle We must fight, we must flee, we must pray We must fight for holy and right intentions and actions by immersing ourselves in God's word to rebuff Satan's attempts to warp God's designs in our minds and hearts.

[38:09]1 Corinthians 6, 18-20. Flee. Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin in a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You're not your own. You're bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. So flee by not putting yourself in compromising situations and relationships that could jeopardize your holiness before God. Flee by not watching certain media, avoiding relationships and situations that may lead to wrongful emotional or physical intimacy. Flee by preventing exposure to sexually provocative advertisements and environments. Pray too. Pray for one another. Pray both for marriages and for those that are in singleness. Husbands and wives, pray for yourselves. Pray for your spouse that God would give you affections and eyes only for one another. Pray for our marriages, that they would accurately and evangelistically image Christ in this church. Pray for our youth who are exposed to erroneous messaging about sex, singleness, marriage, far more than any culture in the past today, than we could have even imagined a decade or two decades ago. Pray that singles, pray for them, that God has brought into this church, that they're folded well into a spiritual faith family.

[39:35]Finally, remember that God's mercy is greater than all of our sins. So be quick to repent in humility, pursuing holiness by God's grace. Christ loves you. He loves me far more than we deserve. We don't deserve anything except for his just wrath. We deserve nothing to earn his love, but he freely bestows it on us. And he alone is faithful to the very end. He will never let you go if you are his. So, before we close our time in prayer, we have time for one or two questions. Anything we have covered about marriage, singleness, or sex.

[40:10]Okay. Again, there's gobs more in this chapter. It talks further about adultery. It talks about, again, polygamy. It talks about masturbation. So there's a lot of stuff that we just didn't have time to cover today, and we're right at the end of our time here. So I'm going to pray for us. And on the back, there are other references you can look at from talking about marriage, talking about singleness, talking about sex. There's more in the chapter, like I just referenced. So go back to that. We also have a biblical counseling team. If there are areas that you're struggling with. There's areas that you feel judgment upon. There's areas that you know you haven't pursued holiness or that you are unsettled.

[40:49]Closing Reflections

[40:47]Maybe you are living a life of bitterness right now. Don't go another day without seeking God, without looking to your brother or sister for help in these areas. Let's pray.

[40:58]Lord, we thank you for your designs, which stand firm, despite what our culture says, despite what philosophers might say, despite what we may have misconceived in our own minds. Lord, we know that you will never leave us or forsake us. That is a promise. It is unshakable, just as your character and your intentions, your kingdom is unshakable. There are some of us that need to turn and repent and know that forgiveness is available. There are consequences. There are devastating consequences to each of these areas of sin. But greater is God who is in us and in this world. So we give you thanks for that. Give us extraordinary contentment with God, with your good plans for our marriage or our singleness. Allow us to repel both marriage and singleness as good in this church and to live lives together as a faith family that reveals Christ's love for as church, to our community, or they need to hear this message. We need to hear these good designs. Lord, guard this church, and may your kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven. It's in Christ's precious name I pray, for your glory, for our joy, in Jesus' name, amen.