Love Up: Love Up with Pastor Clayton Tyner

Welcome to the MetaCurch Podcast.

My name's Clayton.

I'm the pastor here at MetaCurch.

And my hope is that today's podcast finds you at the perfect time in your life that God uses it to inspire and enlighten you.

I hope that you enjoy today's message.

We are in our last week of the Love Up series.

I can't wait to get to today's sermon, but uh I do have an announcement before we get there, kind of some housekeeping for those who consider yourself a part of MetaCurch.

From time to time, I like to just remind us of these significant things that God has done for us along the way.

We started MetaCurch in January of 2019 in the 151 saloon.

I know a lot of you guys have started coming in the last year or so, but this church did start inside of a bar, and we had been working since 2018, praying for God to give us a space that could be our own, fundraising.

We took our first expansion offering all the way back in 2018.

We went through a lot of disappointments, a lot of buildings that did not work out.

In 2021, we found this space, we began praying for it, we negotiated the price, we got in a 90-day feasibility period.

We had 90 days to come up with the money.

After that 90 days, if we couldn't afford the building and we didn't cancel the contract, it would cost us$50,000 in earnest money.

So the pressure was on.

We've been fundraising, we knocked on every door, we prayed very hard.

On day 90, we were$450,000 short of being able to purchase the building.

And so we thought it was over.

We had our attorney sign up a cancellation of contract.

We sent it in, and the owners of this building, also the owners of Lucky Draw Bingo, called us and said, Can we come to the table and try to work something out?

Now we always try to keep it real, and so we let them know look, we're not like 20 grand off.

We're like half a million dollars away from buying this building.

They said, Come in on Monday, let's see if we can figure it out.

We thought all weekend long, we racked our brains, what could we offer?

And so here was our big idea.

We were gonna ask them to give us the money to buy their building, and they went for it.

It was this miracle of miracles.

It was so incredible.

God gift wrapped this building.

In exchange for that money, we gave them virtually free rent until they could make the money back, or until we could afford to buy them out of that contract, which is exactly what we have done.

And last night was Lucky Draw Bingo's last night of operation in this building.

Yeah.

They were wonderful, wonderful partners.

We, in effect, became their landlords in October.

They could not have made things easier for us.

We wish them all the best as they head on in their bingo careers, but we are so, so excited to have full use of this space.

And what you're gonna see is this space over time, now that we have full, full autonomy in it, it's gonna start become customized to the needs of our ministry and the needs of the community, which also means we're gonna go through seasons of transition together, which is not always comfortable, but progress is usually not all that comfortable.

One of the things you're gonna notice immediately, like next Sunday, is these big, nice, cushy orange chairs belong to Lucky Draw Bingo, okay?

They were nice enough to let us have them for one last time today.

So for a season, we're gonna be in what I affectionately call our oldie foldies, okay?

Y'all remember those from the bar.

But we've actually known for quite some time this buyout was coming.

We couldn't say anything publicly because we didn't want to hurt bingo's operations, but we've already ordered some replacement chairs.

It's just going to take a little bit of time.

And so we are so excited.

We're so thankful to God.

And I just want you to know for those of you who keep showing up, you keep inviting so we keep growing and you keep investing for everyone who's ever given a single cent here.

Your fingerprints are on this as God continues to help us build out a kid space upstairs, completely redo our parking lot, and now take full ownership of the building.

You are all over that, and God is all over that.

So y'all give God a hand for everything He's doing here.

Now we are in our fifth and final week of our Love Up series.

We have been really, really digging deep and we framed all of our conversations in week one around this pre-Jesus framework for love, sex, relationships, and marriage, and the Jesus framework for how those things work.

If you remember, in the pre-Jesus world, which our culture has made its way back to, this is the way our world around us is thinking about love, sex, and relationships.

That framework is selfish, it's based on convenience, it is purposeless, and it ends up bad for everyone in the society.

If you missed that, you can watch week one online at metachurch.tv slash love up.

In that context, Jesus came and reframed love, sex, relationships, and marriage.

His framework is selfless, it is consensual, and it is purposeful, and over time it is good for all people in all places.

Now, what we've done in this series is for the last four weeks, we have really focused on the pre-Jesus framework in all of the ways that that is failing us.

In week one, we did framing up.

We looked at the pre-Jesus world, a brutal world that none of us want to live in, and yet we are adopting that framework again and shifting our world back to it.

In week two, matching up.

We looked at dating and hookup culture and all of the dangers that that presents, not just scripturally, but statistically.

In week three, shacking up.

We looked at cohabitation and all of the ways that that actually does, the opposite of what we hope it will do.

Last week, settling up.

We looked at the real meaning of marriage.

Today, we're gonna shift our attention primarily off of the pre-Jesus framework and look at how it's supposed to be done.

I hope that today you will be inspired to a selfless, consensual, purposeful framework that will lead you into that exact kind of relationship.

My message today, we're gonna keep it simple, is love up.

Would you pray with me?

Father, we love you and we come to you today, again, just wanting to wrestle through this.

Uh, God, I pray that we will be inspired by one of the greatest love stories ever told, that it will draw us closer to you and the purpose you created us with.

I thank you for every person that's here on all different parts of their faith journey.

I pray that MetaCurch is a place where they could find community, belonging, purpose.

We love you and pray these things in Jesus' name.

And if you're ready to love up, say amen.

Amen.

Today we're gonna look at one of the greatest love stories, and I'm not talking about Romeo and Juliet, and I'm not talking about Han Solo and Princess Leia, and I'm not talking about any of Ryan Gosling's movies.

Today we're going back 3,000 years into the Jewish scriptures, and we're gonna look at the story of Ruth and Boaz.

There are three main characters we're going to meet.

Uh, this is found in a book in your Old Testament called the Book of Ruth.

And today we're gonna go through the entire book of Ruth.

All four chapters.

Somebody got drugged here by a girlfriend today, and you just died a little bit, okay?

We're gonna keep this from around the same time frame.

We're gonna move quickly, we're gonna talk quickly, we're gonna say a little, read a little, say a little, read a little.

But every part of this story matters.

Here's the setup Ruth, chapter one, verse one.

During the time of the judges, there was a famine in the land.

A man left Bethlehem and Judah with his wife and two sons to stay in the territory of Moab for a while.

The man's name was Elimelech, and his wife's name was Naomi.

The name of his two sons were Malon and Shilion.

They were Ephraithites from Bethlehem and Judah.

They entered the fields of Moab and they settled there.

Naomi's husband, Elimelech, died.

And she was left with just her two sons.

Her sons took Moabite women as their wives.

One was named Orpah.

If anyone's pregnant with a girl, that name's available, Orpah.

And the second was named Ruth.

And after they lived in Moab about ten years, both Malon and Chileon also died.

And Naomi was left without her two children and without her husband.

A lot of big names, a lot of territories we don't recognize.

Let's summarize.

Naomi and her husband, because of a severe famine in the land of Israel, they went to a foreign country called Moab.

While they were there, Naomi lost her husband and she lost her two sons, putting her in an incredibly vulnerable position.

We've seen throughout this series that in the ancient world, women really had no social capital, they had no earning income.

Really, what women were seen as most valuable for were their ability to create offspring and further the lineage.

And Naomi was far past childbearing years, which meant she would never get married again.

Her husband died, at least she had her sons to take care of her, and her sons married foreign women.

Now, we also saw throughout this series that people did not take too kindly to marrying outside of your ethnicity or nationality.

And so they took Moabite women as their wives because that's where they were raised and that's where they grew up.

And it wasn't long until both of the sons died as well.

All of these women were in a very, very difficult position.

But Orpah and Ruth were both young and they were beautiful, and they were living in their homeland of Moab.

By all accounts, they could go back to their hometown, go back to their people, find a husband, and get on with their life, able to find protection and income.

In a heartbreaking passage, Naomi turns to head back to Bethlehem and insists that her daughter-in-laws, Orpah and Ruth, head back home.

Naomi said to them, Each of you, go back to your mother's home.

May the Lord show kindness to you as you have shown to the dead and to me.

May the Lord grant each of you rest in the house of a new husband.

She kissed them and they wept loudly.

My goodness, these women had been through so much together.

And they knew just how difficult their lives were about to be, especially if they could not find a husband.

Now we're looking at Jesus' framework, and the first thing you'll notice is that Naomi is acting selflessly.

She does not try and manipulate them.

She doesn't try and guilt them into staying, I've already lost my husband.

Now I've lost my kids.

If you guys leave me, what am I gonna do?

I'll probably die.

No, no, no.

She selflessly sends them home.

Y'all gotta get on with your life.

You owe me nothing.

She wants a greater purpose for them than to simply look after an elderly widow.

And Orpah takes her up on the offer.

She's sad about it, but she kisses Naomi and she heads back home.

And who could blame her?

Naomi's going to Bethlehem.

That's Israel, where the Jewish people live.

The Jewish people don't like the Moabites.

Those are the pagans.

They have completely different cultures, completely different traditions, and wildly different religions.

In Israel, there is one true God.

He is a God who is spirit.

He isn't carved into stone or made out of wood.

They don't bow down and worship idols or trinkets.

In Moab, that's all they do.

They have all kinds of different gods and they make idols to all the gods and they bow down before the gods.

And the Moabites are seen as evil people, like crazy people.

They offer children as living sacrifices to their God Moloch.

They have this insane ceremony where they have this large statue made to Moloch, and at the bottom of it they create a furnace and they would stick children in the mouths of that God to roll down into the furnace, thinking it would bring them good luck, good crops, greater fertility.

This is a very, very different place than Israel.

Also, as a Moabite, it'd be very difficult to find a husband in Israel who'd be willing to marry you.

The Israelites want to marry Israelites, people who are proud members of their father Abraham's family.

And so Orpah leaves, and it's like, who can blame her?

But Ruth takes a different approach.

In verse 14, again, they wept loudly, and Orpah kissed her mother-in-law, but Ruth clung to Naomi.

Naomi said, Look, your sister-in-law has gone back to her people and to her gods.

Follow her.

What are you doing, Ruth?

There's no way you can come back to Bethlehem.

Naomi is leading with the first filter of selflessness.

You guys gotta do what's right for you.

But Ruth is also taking a selfless, purposeful position.

In verse 16, Ruth replied, Don't plead with me to abandon you or to return and not follow you.

For wherever you go, I will go.

And wherever you live, I will live.

Your people will be my people.

And this is wild.

Your God will now be my God.

This is not just a move towards a family relationship.

This is a move towards a new faith relationship.

Ruth was renouncing who she was, her identity at her very core level, and committing to the family and the faith of her dead husband.

Naomi was headed back, and I'm sure part of her was excited.

She now has Ruth along the journey, which she never expected would happen.

But when she gets to Bethlehem, the reality of what has happened hits her.

She has left a huge part of herself in Moab.

She lost her husband and she lost both of her sons.

When the women in Bethlehem see her, they're so excited.

Naomi's back! In verse 20, don't call me Naomi, she said.

Call me Mara.

For the Almighty has made me very bitter.

I went away full, but the Lord has brought me back empty.

Why do you call me Naomi?

Since the Lord has opposed me and the Almighty has afflicted me.

Maybe some of you have felt like this in your life at times.

Like the only answer for how you could be in such a difficult position in life is like God has decided He is against you.

Maybe you have felt like this in your relationships.

You've been single for so long, and every relationship has ended up in disaster, or you've been married multiple times and none of them have worked out.

Maybe you've lost someone that you love.

Naomi and Ruth are in very, very dire straits.

Naomi is past her pregnancy years, and because of that, she knows no one is gonna marry her.

And Ruth is a Moabite, she is a foreigner, a pagan now living in Israel, and knows there's very slim chances that she finds a husband either.

To be a widow in those days was to live in complete destitution, to live in poverty, to get by on the scraps of society.

No protection, no shelter, no income, no future, no legacy.

This was the situation for Naomi, and it was the situation that Ruth chose to put herself in.

And what neither of the women knew is that behind the scenes God was orchestrating one of the greatest love stories, one of the greatest redemptive stories ever told.

In Ruth, chapter two.

Look, guys, we're already in chapter two.

We are moving.

Ruth, chapter two, verse one.

Now Naomi had a relative on her husband's side.

He was a prominent man of noble character from a limelecks family, and his name was Boaz.

Now we're gonna walk through this, but a little bit of a spoiler alert.

Ladies, you want to find a Boaz.

Men, you want to be a Boaz.

So let's check on the meetup.

Ruth, the Moabite, asked Naomi, Will you let me go into the fields and gather fallen grain behind someone whom I find favor in?

Naomi answered her, Go ahead, my daughter.

Selfless.

Every step of the way, every decision, every interaction, every reaction, what you're going to see our main characters do is choose to be selfless as their first filter every single time.

These women have no hope.

They have no way to make money, no way to eat.

And Ruth says, Would you mind?

Would it be okay with you if I got up before the sun?

If I was the first to the field, if I worked all day long in the heat of the day and after it was dark, came home to bring you some food.

She's asking permission to serve Naomi.

This would be like if one of your kids was like, Dad, would you mind if I mowed the yard for you?

I know, I know you love mom, I know laundry's your thing, but could I do the laundry from now on?

I hope you're not mad, but I went ahead and did the dishes, you know?

This selfless behavior, and of course, Naomi blesses it.

In verse 3, so Ruth left.

And she entered the field to gather grain behind the harvesters.

And she happened to be, she just so happened to be, coincidentally, in the portion of the field belonging to Boaz, who was from a Limelex family.

Just so happened to be.

Now I know that we're at all different places on our faith journey, and Metachurch is the place for you if you're not completely convinced about the existence of God and all of the spiritual.

But for those who do believe in God, you know this.

What we call coincidence, God calls providence.

What we think this just happened to be, God had laid in place before the foundations of the world was set.

And so, how does that work?

How does providence actually function?

Is it just God?

Is it God meticulously determining and manipulating every single second and ounce of your life in order to get you in the right spot?

Did he predetermine and force Ruth into that field?

No matter what she would have done, that's where she would have ended up.

If that's the case, then we can just chill and wait for God to do his thing.

Or is it really coincidence?

Does God sit back?

Is he hands-free?

Does he let us do our thing?

And if things happen to line up, we can call it coincidence.

The answer is it's somewhere in between.

That God sets his plans into motion, that God sets his desires into motion, but then he asks us to follow him in the freedom that he gave us from creation.

One of the greatest gifts that God instilled in us, hardwired in us, is our free will.

And you need to know this.

Maybe you haven't heard it.

God always gets what he decrees will happen.

God always gets what he decrees, but God does not always get what he desires.

God has given you the freedom to break his rules, to break his will, to go against even what he desires for your life.

Providence is what happens when God's will for our life matches with us walking in God's way for our life.

Providence is what happens when God's will for our life matches us walking in God's way for our lives.

See, from the writer's standpoint, a human who wrote the book of Ruth, it just so happened that she was in the field.

But for God, he had them exactly where he desired for them to be.

And if Ruth had taken a selfish, convenient, purposeless framework into her life, she would have shown up and been like Naomi.

I kept you company.

Now where's the food?

These are your people, so when are you going to go work?

How are you going to provide what I need?

But Ruth is selfless.

She makes the first move.

She moves with purpose, she goes to the field, and because she's in the field, she meets Boaz.

And we've seen all series long that if you're dating and you're struggling, what you really need to do is stop trying to find the right person and start trying to become the right person.

And you're never going to find the right person looking in the wrong places.

You know the song, Looking for Love, in all the wrong places.

And that's what we do.

We have these crazy expectations of who we want to date and who we want to marry and what our life is going to be like.

But in our rhythms and patterns of our life, we are not positioning ourselves to find the kind of ideal spouse that we dream of so often.

You want someone who's going to take your relationship seriously.

You want someone for the long haul, but you're dating, finding people in the club, finding people in the bar where they're not looking for that.

They're looking to get lucky and you're looking for love.

Looking for love in all the wrong places.

You want to find the right person.

You got to start doing the right things.

I want a man who's going to help me eat healthy.

I got news.

You're not going to find him in the Pop Tart aisle, okay?

You know, I want a woman who will help me get in shape.

She's at the gym.

That's where you'll find her.

I want a godly man.

I want a godly woman.

We want that, and yet we treat church like we go upon our convenience.

We don't plug in, we don't do any of the programs, we don't volunteer on any of the teams.

Man, I want a man who's gonna take care of his mind.

He's at Barnes and Nobles, you know.

You gotta look in the places where people are in patterns doing the right thing.

Ruth didn't have to go to the field, but she went.

She did the right thing.

She moved selflessly and with purpose in order to support the people that she was in relationship with, and she put herself in the right appointed place to meet the right man.

Boaz owned the field.

He didn't have to be there.

He could put a GM in in place, go on vacation, live his life, but it's harvest season, and he's a man who is noble.

He's a man of intention, he's a man of purpose.

It's really hard to find the right man.

And I hear that all the time.

It's really hard to find the right woman.

It's really hard to find the right person to date.

And so we get bored or we lower our standards.

The wrong people will find you.

They're at the bar, they're in your phone, all you gotta do is swipe, they'll find you, and they'll find you because they're out playing the field, and what you need is a Boaz who is at home planting the field, producing the field, plowing the field by the sweat of his brow.

Someone making something out of their life.

So Ruth does the right thing.

If we put ourselves in the right patterns, in the right rhythms, the right behaviors, if you start becoming the right person, along the way, you will find other people becoming the right person.

It's not magic.

How to find someone who is seeking God's will.

They're out following God's plan.

You follow God's plan, you follow the Holy Spirit's prompting on your life, and it will move you into connection with people who are doing the same thing.

So now Ruth and Boaz see each other.

She sees Boaz, Boaz sees her.

In verse 5, Boaz asked his servant, who was in charge of the harvesters, who is this young one?

And I love that Boaz, this noble, prominent man, turns into a middle schooler in seconds.

Like he can't go up to her by himself.

He's gotta go get some intel from his homeboy.

Tell me everything you know about this one over here.

He gets the whole lowdown.

She's a Moabite.

She's from out of town.

She married Naomi's son.

Elimelech died, her husband died.

Naomi had no choice, so she came back home, and Ruth came with her.

Why'd she come with her?

She could have stayed in Moab.

It could have been way easier.

She could find a husband there.

It's gonna be tough here.

Live in poverty here.

She followed Naomi.

She followed Naomi to take care of Naomi.

That's why she's in the field.

She gets the barley and she brings it back to Naomi.

And Boaz is more than impressed.

So he goes up to her in verse 8.

Boaz said to Ruth, listen, my daughter, now, pause.

Daughter, here, this is 3,000 years ago.

This isn't about relationship and this isn't about age.

This is just a term of endearment.

Listen, my daughter, don't go and gather grain in another field.

Ooh, it sounds exclusive.

Don't be playing the other fields.

Don't go gather grain in another field, and don't leave this one.

Stay here close to my female servants.

See which field they are harvesting and follow them.

Haven't I ordered the young men not to touch you?

When you are thirsty, go and drink from the jars the young men have filled.

You drink from my water.

You have my protection.

I give you my resources.

When she got up to gather grain, Boaz ordered his young men, let her even gather grain among the bundles, and don't humiliate her.

Pull out some stalks from the bundles for her and leave them for her to gather.

Don't rebuke her.

There was a law in Israel, and it was a law for the welfare of those who were down and out, who were living in poverty for the widows.

And the law said, Any of the grain that falls out of your bundles, you have to leave there, and the people who are in need can come and gather it for themselves.

But Boaz goes a step further.

We're not just gonna leave the scraps.

After you've bundled it, I want you to take some of the barley out, and I want you to gift wrap it just for her.

He had to leave the scraps, that's the law.

But now he's pulling out of his bottom line, he's pulling out of his profit margins.

Leaving it is the law.

Giving out of the bundles is a sacrifice, it's selfless, it's purposeful, it's framed differently than the way that we frame and we think about the world.

Boaz was a nobleman.

He loved doing his part to help.

For many field owners, that whole law was a massive inconvenience.

Just because I accidentally dropped some scraps, I can't pick them back up, stick them in the bundle.

Why can't these people get back on their own feet, make something of themselves like I did?

It's an inconvenience.

And yet he sees it as something of great purpose.

He even goes above and beyond.

So let's talk about Ruth and Boaz.

We know a little bit about them.

In every situation, we see them being selfless towards others, and we see them moving with great purpose, great intention.

I promise you, men, you want to be a Boaz.

Women, you want to be a Ruth.

You want to find a Ruth.

You want to find your Boaz.

That's what you want.

Maybe not up here, but here.

At the core of who you are, that's what you're desperate for.

That's what will ultimately fulfill.

A selfless, consensual, covenantal, purposeful arrangement where two people come together to help each other be more and more and more the person that God created them to be.

And we fall into these traps.

Men, here's what we think.

We've seen this all series long.

The lie that culture tells you is how you live today will have no effect on who you are tomorrow.

The decisions you make today, the sexual and relational decisions you make today, will have no bearing on the quality of your marriage someday in the future.

And that is a lie.

Here's what you think.

I'm gonna live how I wanna live today.

I'm not ready to settle down, I'm living my best life, I'll become Boaz later.

And you really think the day you put a ring on and say I do, you are magically going to transform into the noble character of Boaz.

And women, y'all think it too, because you want a Boaz, but that's not who you date.

You don't date someone selfless.

You don't date someone who puts you first, you don't date someone who shows up and goes, I will give you what I have, protection resource, I will put your needs above my needs.

You date people who you show up and they're like, girl, why do you always want my barley?

Can't you get your own barley?

Why are you always bothering me?

Y'all wanna date the bad boy.

You wanna marry the good guy, but you wanna date the bad boy.

Someone who makes you feel a little bit dangerous, someone who doesn't meet all of the standards, someone who your mom won't like too much.

It's like the oldest church joke in the book, but it's so true.

Y'all wanna marry Boaz, but you're out here dating mean ass, broke ass, lying ass, still live at home ass.

Can't find a job, as I can keep going.

Here's the problem, men, you are seeking to find your confidence and validation from the external things of this world.

How much money you can have, what kind of clothes you can wear, how much you can dominate other people, how much you can put other people down, how many women you can get in your bed.

And what will happen is the more that you pursue your confidence from things outside of yourself, the more and more insecure you will become.

And insecurity breeds arrogance, the more arrogant you will become, the more you will double and triple down on your pursuit of finding that confidence and validation and security in the things of this world.

You will never find it.

And you will get further and further and further away from the character of Boaz that you were created to exemplify and to give to a woman someday.

Women, you are trying to find your value and your worth from external things in this world, and so you are pursuing guys who consistently put you down and tear you down and don't show up and disappoint you because at some level you've convinced yourself that that's all you're worth.

And the confidence you need, and the worth and dignity that you need, it will not come from this world.

This world did not create you, it can't instill that inside of you.

God created you with a purpose, God created you on purpose, and it is only in seeking and finding Him, giving your life over to Him and discovering who you are as a son or a daughter of the King of Heaven, that you will finally find your value and worth worth enough for the Son of God to come and give his life for yours.

It's only in pursuing Jesus that you will find your confidence, the kind of confidence that will allow you not to build your own kingdom that someday will burn, but to build an everlasting kingdom of heaven.

That is what we need to be Boaz and Ruth in our world and Boaz and Ruth in our relationships.

You want to be it, but it starts now.

When men are single and they really want to get married, they're ready, they're ready to settle up, they're ready to find someone.

It's tough.

What I always tell them is start living like you're married now.

Get a real place.

If it's an apartment, it doesn't matter.

One bedroom, efficiency, it doesn't matter.

Move out of mom's house, get a real place, and treat it right.

Buy furniture.

I know, men, I know this.

You can be happy with one beanbag in a PlayStation.

I know this.

Buy a couch, decorate.

I learned something when I got married.

Michael Jordan posters are not decoration.

Did you know that?

Make your house nice, keep your house clean, wash your dishes, cook a meal or two, eat some veggies now and again.

If you're gonna drink, drink responsibly, like there was a wife in the house watching you.

You're not gonna become Boaz the day they put a ring on your finger.

You're gonna decide whether or not you're a Boaz right now.

You're gonna decide whether you're gonna grow up right now.

You're gonna decide whether you are going to mature right now.

And right now is the time to begin to prepare yourself to be the kind of husband that a woman needs.

Women, y'all get to be a lot pickier about dating.

Y'all remember the tender statistics.

Men swipe on everything, everything.

Y'all swipe on nothing.

Y'all are real selective.

And I know that makes it seem like it's impossible to find your boaz.

Don't settle.

Well, what if it takes a long time?

Then you're gonna be single for a minute because you're worth waiting.

Get in healthy rhythms, go where God is leading you, walk in God's way, and down the road, you're gonna look beside you, and there's going to be a man beside you following God as well.

Ruth and Boaz are the template.

They're actually so much more than that.

We'll see by the end of the story, but they're still not together yet.

Which leads us to the end of chapter two, the beginning of chapter three.

You see, Ruth came home and she had hit the barley jackpot.

She had so much barley from Boaz that Naomi was like, Who did you rob?

You know, that's too much.

She didn't know that Naomi and Boaz were related.

So she said it like it wasn't a thing.

Some guy named Boaz.

Well, in verse 20, Naomi said to her daughter-in-law, May the Lord bless him, because he has not abandoned his kindness to the living or to the dead.

Naomi continued, the man is a close relative.

He is one of our family redeemers.

Some translations say a kinsman redeemer.

Now we don't have this today, but 3,000 years ago, under the Israelite law, there was a position, an official position called the family redeemer.

The family redeemer was a strong, social, uh, high social status male who looked out for the less fortunate members of their family, especially closely related family, which meant if closely related family got into debt, they would come in and help pay those debts.

If there was a crime committed against close family, it was the family redeemer's job to stand in and make sure that justice was served.

And sometimes, in special circumstances, it was the family redeemer's job to come in when people had been widowed to purchase their land because women couldn't own land, and it could even be their job to marry the widow of one of their close relatives' sons.

And so now Naomi has an idea cooking up.

Ruth chapter 3, verse 1.

Ruth 3:1

Ruth's mother-in-law, Naomi said to her, My daughter, shouldn't I find rest for you so that you will be taken care of?

Now, isn't Boaz our relative?

Haven't you been working with his female servants this evening?

He will be winnowing barley on the threshing floor.

In other words, he will be on the property all night long.

It's such a tough job.

They will even sleep there to get up and start working on it again the next morning.

Now, Ruth knew that she had a mother-in-law.

She didn't know she had a wingman, okay?

Naomi is about to play matchmaker.

She's got it all laid out.

She continues wash, put on perfumed oil, and wear your best clothes.

Go down to the threshing floor, but don't let the man know you're there till he's finished eating and drinking.

And when he lies down, notice the place where he's lying.

Go in and uncover his feet and lie down.

Then he will explain to you what you should do.

Now let's keep it real.

It's 2022, and all of our minds are in the gutter already.

And most of you think Naomi is gonna get Ruth to seduce this fool.

And that's far from the truth.

That's what we would expect to happen in our culture.

But back then, this is a very intimate, personal ritual, and it has serious, serious significance.

What Ruth is getting ready to do is to put herself in a vulnerable position and to selflessly request Boaz's help.

In a real sense, Ruth is getting ready to propose.

Boaz as the family redeemer will take her and take Naomi under his wing.

In verse 8, at midnight, Boaz was startled.

He turned over, and there, lying at his feet, was a woman.

And so he asked, Who are you?

I'm Ruth, your servant.

She replied, Take me under your wing, for you are our family redeemer.

This is a bold move.

And it's a move that risks very real rejection.

There's an interesting wordplay happening in the Hebrew because the word for wing, take me under your wing, is the same word for covers or a blanket.

And so she was laying there exposed to the elements in the dead of night, probably freezing cold, and she literally said, If you will redeem us, if you will marry me, if you will buy back the family land, if you will help the name of Elimelech live on, if you will give Naomi a sense of purpose and make me your wife, if you will cover me, then show me by covering me with your blanket, symbolically showing that you will cover me, protect me, and provide for me with your life.

In verse 10, Boaz said, May the Lord bless you, my daughter.

You've shown more kindness now than before because you have not pursued younger men, whether rich or poor.

It's so interesting what happens in a godly relationship.

Ruth is laying there, vulnerable, risking rejection, asking Boaz to selflessly cover and protect her.

And yet Boaz receives it as Ruth being selfless for choosing him.

He is in the position of power, he is wealthy, he is prominent, he is noble, he is in the ethnic majority, he's all the things he needs, and she is none of the things he needs.

And yet, both of them selflessly pursuing relationship with each other.

In verse 11, he said, Don't be afraid, I'll do for you whatever you say, since all the people in my town know that you are a woman of noble character.

Yes, it is true, I am a family redeemer, and here's the drama but there is a redeemer closer than I am.

So stay here tonight.

And in the morning, if he wants to redeem you, that's good.

Let him.

But if he doesn't want to redeem you, as the Lord lives, I will.

The law around family redeemers gave first dibs to the closest relative.

There was a real problem because if this guy wanted to redeem Ruth, then the great love story of Ruth and Boaz would be no more.

To redeem Naomi and Mary Ruth required more than a simple decision.

Naomi's husband had owned land, and he was gonna have to put out real money to buy that land, albeit at a discounted cost.

And so Boaz is a man.

None of this little kid, none of this playing games, he is a man.

So the next morning he gets up early, he goes to the edge of town, and he waits.

And when he sees that relative, the closer family redeemer, he sits him down, he calls ten witnesses around them and says, Naomi's back.

You are the closest family redeemer.

Are you going to buy Elimelex land?

Sounded actually like a good deal.

The guy thought, man, more land at a discounted price.

The famine's over.

You know what?

I'll do it.

And then Boaz skillfully dropped the bomb.

In verse 5, Boaz said, On the day you buy the field from Naomi, you will also acquire Ruth, the Moabite, the wife of the deceased man, to perpetuate the man's name on his property.

Now that is more than the first redeemer had bargained for.

And he walked away from the table.

In verse 9, Boaz said to the elders and to all the people, You are witnesses today, I'm buying from Naomi everything that belonged to Elimelech, Chileon, and Malon.

I've also acquired Ruth, the Moabite, Malon's widow, as my wife, every step of the way, selfless, consensual, purposeful, every decision, every action, every reaction.

You live in a world right now where every movie you watch, every show you take in, every song that you listen to, every novel that you read, the people around you, the people in your social circle, your couple friends that you go out to eat with, everyone is living in the world framework, selfishly seeing what they can get out of the relationship, selfishly knowing that they need to change and I'm perfect just the way I am, looking for convenience, the easy way out of things, the quickest route to gratification.

People are living and dating without any sense of purpose.

And yet, if you want to fully engage in the kind of relationships and the kind of life that God created you to live, you are going to have to reframe your life.

And the benefits of that are more than you could ever imagine.

The story's not done.

In verse 13, Boaz took Ruth.

She became his wife, he slept with her, and the Lord granted conception to her, and she gave birth to a son.

And the women said to Naomi, Blessed be the Lord, who has not left you without a family redeemer today.

May his name become well known in Israel.

He will renew your life and sustain you in your old age.

Indeed, your daughter-in-law, who loves you and is better to you than seven sons, has given birth to him.

And Naomi, who was left empty on her route back to Bethlehem, took the child, placed him on her lap, and became like a mother to him.

And the neighbor women said, A son has been born to Naomi.

And they named him Obed.

And Obed was the father of Jesse.

And Jesse was the father of King David.

Ruth, who should have stayed in Moab, who should have found a husband, who should have taken the selfish, convenient, easy way out, instead chose a selfless pursuit of relationship with others.

Instead, pointed her life in the direction of purpose.

And now, not only is she the great grandmother of the most important king in Israel's history, one of the most important historical figures of all time, King David, now Ruth, the Moabite, is also in the lineage of Jesus Christ Himself.

God is wanting to use your life in ways more significant than you can imagine.

And the reason that we struggle to imagine it is because we are so consumed through the filter of the world's framework.

We are worried about selfishly pursuing what we want, what we desire, our kingdom, right here and right now.

It is time to reframe.

To reframe your life, to reframe your relationships, to reframe the way that you see things, to reframe your marriage.

All married couples can tell you what their dream marriage would be like.

Ah, marriage is alright.

They can describe their dream marriage and they all describe it the same way.

A dream marriage is your spouse changing a whole host of things and you staying exactly the same as you are.

The truth is, when we break the world's paradigm, we see it as a selfless pursuit.

It's about what we can give, it's about how open we can be, it's about allowing someone into our life to help shape us and mold us into the person that God created us to be.

It's time to reframe, it is time to love up.

Loving like the world is loving is not working.

Marriages are not working, dating is not working, hookup culture is not working for us.

It's only leaving us more miserable, more lonely, more depressed, higher suicide rates.

It's time to love up, it's time to reframe the way that we think about our world and our relationships.

You were created to be a boaz.

You were created to be a Ruth, to live a life that directly impacts the world around you.

You were hardwired to find your boaz.

You were hardwired to find your Ruth.

Great things take a great amount of work.

Significant things take patience.

Purposeful things take intention.

And if you are willing to selflessly, purposefully pursue the relationship that God has for you, whether you're single and looking or married and miserable, if you want the relationship that God has designed for you, you will have to reframe and you will have to begin to love God.

Would you pray with me?

Father, we love you and we thank you for the example of Ruth and Boaz.

God, I believe that Boaz is a picture for us, a foreshadowing for us of what you did for us.

The same way he covered Ruth with his blanket.

You have covered us with your blood.

As sinners separated from our God, from our Father, we are lost, spiritually destitute.

Our souls are impoverished.

And you came as our family redeemer.

You gave the ultimate sacrifice, you gave your life.

You came and not only taught a new frame, you lived a new frame.

The ultimate, selfless, purposeful life.

And I pray that we would pursue the exact same thing.

We love you.

And we pray these things in Jesus' name.

Amen.

Thanks so much for listening to the message today.

If this was helpful to you and you want to help us get the word out, you can subscribe to this podcast.

You can rate and review or share it with your friends.

If you want to get connected further with what MetaCurch is doing, you can go online to metachurch.tv.

There you can learn how to take next steps.

You can learn where our different venues are at if you ever wanted to visit.

And you can also give financially to help push this movement forward.

Man, I love you guys, and I hope you have a great rest of your day.