Love, Marriage and the Baby Carriage: The Pressure of Parenting with Pastor Clayton Tyner

Welcome to the Medicurch Podcast.

My name's Clayton.

I'm the pastor here at Medicurch.

And my hope is that today's podcast finds you at the perfect time in your life, that God uses it to inspire and enlighten you.

I hope that you enjoy today's message.

It says this start a youth out on his way, and even when he grows old, he will not depart from it.

Now, this is an amazing piece of wisdom.

It's a super encouraging promise from God, and it's very straightforward direction for us as parents to direct our kids onto the right paths, onto godly paths, the paths of righteousness, the paths of wisdom while they are young.

However, before we get to all that this verse has for us, I want to focus on kind of an odd part of the verse.

Almost dead center, you will see a semicolon.

And I think this semicolon matters.

Because it's not a period, which means two distinct, separate thoughts.

You know, teach your kid well, period.

When they're old, they'll have faith, period.

And it's not a comma, which implies immediate action.

It's not like start your kid out on the right path, and immediately and without any problems, they will have perfect faith for the rest of their life.

No, it's a it's a semicolon.

Which takes two ideas that could stand on their own and shows there's a connection.

It's a semicolon, which shows there's some kind of gap, some kind of space there, some kind of time.

And so at the beginning of our verse, start a youth out, start a child out.

We have childhood.

We have innocence.

We have those beautiful years where you are a superhero and a confidant.

You come home from work, and the kids run into your arms and jump up and grab you.

You have the years where they will tell you every secret they have, even the ones you did not want to know.

You have connection and trust, and their hearts are open and their faith is pure, and they just want proximity to you.

It's like you can almost do no wrong.

On the other side, you have maturity.

You have when they can stand on their own feet, when their faith is their own, when their connection with God is their own.

You have when they have gone through the trials of life and they have learned from them and they have gathered themselves back up.

On the other side, you have Abraham finally leaving his childhood home, filled with idols and following the one true God into the adventure of a lifetime.

On the other side, maturity, you have Moses after years in the wilderness, finally coming and confronting the Pharaoh.

You have the disciples dropping their nets after a life wandering aimlessly and following Jesus and changing the world.

On the beginning side, you have childhood and innocence.

On the other side, you have maturity and growth.

And right in the middle, you have a semicolon.

And this is the messy middle.

This is rebellion.

This is testing their faith.

This is when you go from a superhero that they always want to be around, to the villain who they want nothing to do with.

This is when it feels like the devil is winning.

This is when your kids get into the ears and they start doing things you never thought they would do, and saying things you never thought they would say, and believing things you never thought they would believe.

This is when we wonder if everything we have invested in our kids is slowly unraveling.

It's terrifying.

It's where we start imagining the future based off of their characteristics in the moment and living with lots of fear for who they might become and the trials that they might endure and the hardships that they might suffer.

This is where instead of telling you every secret, they barely want to speak to you at all.

The years when they push away.

It's the unknown.

And harder still, that semicolon between innocence and maturity, it is an undisclosed amount of time.

And so for some, they have six months of wandering somewhere in their teenage years, and that's enough for them, and they come back to the Lord.

For me, it was a much longer time period than that.

For some, it starts at 15 and it's done at 19, and for some it starts at 10 and they finally come back to faith at 50.

And because we don't know how long it will take, and because we don't know what their journey looks like, this is where we start to panic.

And we're not sure how their life will play out.

Parenting can be very difficult.

I have three kids of my own.

This year they will be 21 and 16 and 13.

They're all at very different stages of life.

I have no more little kids in my house.

We've been through those seasons.

They go by very quickly.

And we we talk about our kids, and one of the common idioms that we use is we talk about investing in our children.

We need to invest in our kids.

We need to invest in the next generation.

And yet I find it interesting, that is one of the main metaphors we use for raising children is investing in them, and yet most people don't actually know much about investing.

I'll give you an example.

In the 1990s, Apple's stock crashed.

From 92 to 97, it dropped over 80%.

In 1997, they were on the verge of bankruptcy.

They were selling for less than 20 cents per share.

Now, what that means practically is people lost hope in Apple.

And they started dumping their stock.

That's how the stock price crashes like that.

Now, that is when the company was at its lowest.

But here's what a lot of people don't realize about wise, shrewd investors.

A seasoned investor knows that when a stock is at its lowest, opportunity is at its highest.

Let me give you an example.

If you wanted to buy one share of Apple today, it would cost you about$245 for one share.

It's a multi-trillion dollar company.

If you took$245, which would buy you one share today, and you invested it in 1997 when they were on the edge of bankruptcy, it would buy you$1,225 shares.

When a company's at its lowest, your opportunity is at its highest.

Your money goes further.

$245 in 97 buys you$1,225 shares today.

That's worth over$300,000.

Of course, I also know that for every Apple that has a rebound and blows up and becomes a trillion-dollar company, there are countless companies that just actually go bankrupt and disappear.

And the money you put in them, you lose that money.

However, this is the differentiation between just investing in the stock market, which is like educated gambling, and investing in your children.

In the stock market, you don't have an ironclad promise from the Almighty God.

When investing in your children, you do.

And we've already seen it.

Start your child out on their way, and when they grow old, they will not depart from it.

Proverbs 22, 6.

Start a child out on their way, and when they are old, they will not depart from it.

And so look, I've got a lot of instruction for us today.

For the parents in the room, I have some very specific challenges for you today.

But before we get to the instruction, I want to give us some encouragement.

I am a parent.

Before I get to the instruction, I want to give myself some encouragement.

Because when things are looking down, as we are investing in our children, when your kids seem on the edge of bankruptcy, morally bankrupt, spiritually bankrupt, bankrupt of character, bankrupt of respect, what we tend to do is we get overwhelmed by the pressure of parenting and we throw our hands up.

The incentive is to give up.

But when an investment is at its lowest, the opportunity is at its highest.

When you feel like all hope may be lost, this is when you double down on your investment.

This is when you triple down and quadruple down on your investment.

And you may not see progress for weeks or months or years or even decades.

If you put a couple thousand into Apple in '97 in 2007, you still would have been like, should I have put my money in there, you know?

But a few years later, the return came.

And we have a promise from God, and it might take years, and it might take decades.

And here's the challenge of parenting.

You may not even see it in your lifetime, but our God is not a liar.

And if we invest properly in our children, God has made a promise that we will see a return.

And so I echo the words of scripture that says, We are not those who shrink away, we are not those who give up, we are those who continue to invest even when it's hardest, and maybe even especially when it's hardest.

And so I want to talk about what it looks like to invest in our children.

Because I think like all of us were probably raised differently, you know.

And probably a lot of us we grew up with whoopins, you know, like that's how we learn.

And we think about instruction.

And so instruction comes through getting grounded, losing privileges.

It comes through belts and spoons and flip-flops, right?

We get instruction.

Instruction comes through lectures.

My poor sweet little angel babies.

Their dad's a preacher.

I don't give lectures.

Uh I give symposiums, you know.

You guys think I preach long sermons.

Break my curfew.

Okay?

You think this is a long sermon.

Talk back to your mom, okay?

Like, I can go for an hour and I'm not warmed up yet.

I'm a preacher, my kids get three points and a poem.

That's what they get.

But I've learned something, and I learned some of this the hard way: that investing is not just instructing.

It's not just discipline.

It's not just what you say.

It's interesting.

Uh, you know, I have three kids, and one of the things I learned is every one of those kids has to be instructed very uniquely.

Like how we discipline our oldest didn't work with our middle child, and how we learn to discipline him doesn't really work with our daughter, and everyone needs something unique.

And I I found something uh with two of my kids that not only were my lectures ineffective, they just weren't showing any progress.

But because of who they are and their own unique stories and what they've been through and how they process the world, my lectures were creating distance between us relationally.

And what is the end aim of parenting if our relationship is not improving?

And so I'm not saying you quit instructing, that's why God gave your kids you as a parent.

They need instruction, they need discipline, they need wisdom, but investing is not just instructing.

Well, I whooped them, they should know now.

Well, I gave them a lecture, you should, ooh, I I hollered at him, you should have heard me.

I gave him the what for.

Job done.

Investing is not just instructing.

It's very interesting.

If we want to actually invest in our kids, you need to know this one seminal truth that your kids will become who you are, not what you say.

And I get it, you're a parent, so you always have this trump card in your back pocket, and and we've all used it.

There's no shame, we've all used it, where it's like do what I say, not what I do.

I know you just heard me cuss out the neighbor, but you better not be cussing out your brother.

You do what I say, not what I do.

That's fine, you can pull that out however often you want to, as long as you know it will not work.

Investing is caught, it's not taught.

There was a study a couple decades ago, and it followed thousands of kids from kindergarten all the way into their 30s.

Huge, is the largest longitudinal study of children going through adolescence into adulthood ever conducted.

And they wanted to know like, why did some kids end up, you know, with great educations and great careers, and some didn't?

Why did some kids end up married really happily and some really struggled in their relationships?

So they started looking at all these different facets.

And so I'll give you one example.

Some kids grew up and they they were highly literate, they were very fluent and they read a lot.

And and reading has a huge correlation to success and leadership and success in many fields.

And so they wanted to know if we can track down why some kids read and why some don't, it will give us some kind of clue of what kind of parenting is effective.

And so they thought, you know what, maybe it's how much TV they watch.

You know, some kids watch 80 hours of TV a week, some kids aren't allowed to watch any TV at all.

And so let's see if that makes a difference in how much they are fluent in reading and how much they read when they get older.

And they look, and whether you watched 80 hours a week or zero hours a week, it made zero difference.

So they thought, you know what, I bet it's access to books.

You know, some kids don't have any books in their room, and some kids, it's like bear and steam bears, doctor Seuss, boxcar children, you know, it's all the books.

They've got all the books.

Made zero difference.

You know, the only thing that made a difference of whether or not kids read when they became adults, the only thing that mattered is whether or not they saw their parents reading.

Kids that grew up and had healthy, successful romantic relationships, the only difference they could find is that they watched their parents have good, healthy relationships.

It's the only difference.

You can tell your kid to not raise their voice, but if you are someone who always raises your voice, your kids are gonna yell.

They just will.

They are becoming who you are.

And it's because investing is not just instruction, investing is incarnate.

God is a great example of this.

He's the ultimate example.

John opens his gospel and he acknowledges, like, look, God is kind of this like mystery, you know?

Like we are finite and he is infinite, and we can't really understand him, and and no one's ever seen God.

John says this in John chapter one, no one's ever seen God, you know.

And then he says, but Jesus came, he put on flesh, incarnate, and he dwelt among us.

And John says, Jesus came and he fully revealed the Father.

You want to be like God, you aim to be like Jesus.

And if Jesus would have come and taught perfect sermons, but lived a ratchet life, his life wouldn't have mattered.

His words and his actions were in alignment, and so we can follow his words because his words are a reflection of who he is.

Investing is incarnate, so what does parenting actually look like?

Well, it kind of looks like what Paul said to the Corinthians, who are all baby believers.

He said this: imitate me as I imitate Christ.

And this is a tough question, but I'm gonna ask it.

Can we say this to our kids?

Look, look, you wanna get on the right paths, the godly paths, the paths of righteousness, the paths that are gonna lead you to success.

You know what you need to do?

You imitate me.

You walk how I walk, you treat people how I treat them, you love women the way I love your mom.

You spend your money the way I spend it.

If you take inventory of your life, are you actively living in ways that you hope and pray your kids will live differently when they are adults?

Can we say to our children, if you want to be like Christ, your starting place is to just walk how I walk?

Imitate me as I imitate Christ.

Do my spending habits look like Christ?

Do I prioritize Jesus?

Do I prioritize his bride, his church?

Do I live selfishly?

Do I live pridefully?

Do I live in anger?

Do I walk the fruits of the spirit?

Are they evident in my life?

Is my life characterized by love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control?

Or am I living in the flesh and walking in the flesh?

Am I giving in to lust?

Am I giving in to fear?

Am I living worried all the time?

Oh, I hope my kids don't grow up and worry like I worry.

They're going to.

They're going to become who you are.

And so we must be on the path of sanctification.

Man, every like every single service, every single Sunday, we close down and we just beg you to put your faith in Jesus.

But dude, that's easy.

It's free.

Jesus did all of it.

You want to go to heaven when you die?

It's the easiest thing imaginable.

It's just like relationship.

Jesus is like, believe that I am who I say I am, and you will be in relationship with the Father.

And then take up your cross and follow me.

Are we walking the path of sanctification, becoming more and more like Christ?

Imperfectly.

We're us, okay?

We are not first Babda, Methodist, Lutheran, Presbyterian.

We're us, right?

We're gonna come in and just say, yeah, like we're kind of jacked up, you know?

And like we screw a lot of things up, but we're headed in the right direction.

You're allowed to mess up as parents.

You know why?

Because in your mess-ups, in your weakness, if you're on the path of following Jesus, in your weaknesses, your kids will see how strong God is.

In your failures, God will show redemption to your children, reconciliation to your children.

You're allowed to fail, but you've got to be moving in the right direction.

And if we're just standing still in our sin, if we're standing still in our immaturity, if we are unwilling to love our spouses like Jesus loves his church, your kids are watching.

If you're not a parent, you need to know this.

If you bear the name of Christ, someone's watching.

Can you say to them, imitate me?

You're not reading the Bible yet.

You're four years old, you don't know how to read.

So you just be like me for now.

And as I as I'm following Christ, you'll learn to follow Christ.

Investment is incarnate, it's about proximity.

Uh, a lot of you know my story.

Uh, I met Katie and Lane and Pax, and we all got married, and I became a dad.

So I am technically a stepdad to Lane and Paxton.

And immediately we moved to a new city, and immediately I took a really heavy job, and immediately at that job I was moved into leadership, and everything was kind of a mess.

And and I worked uh Saturdays and Sunday services, and I was working six days a week, every single week, and you know, 70, 80 hour weeks, and I was exhausted, and I'm a new dad.

And I always had excuses to say no.

Hey, can we go outside?

Can we ride bikes?

Can we shoot hoofs?

I always had an excuse to say no.

And I said no a lot.

And then it was like every time I blinked, my kids were having another birthday, you know?

A couple of years ago, our oldest moved out of our house.

And I'm just letting you know, those who have kids in your home, that day is coming.

And the week that they're packing all their stuff up, you're going to wish you said yes more often.

You just are.

And so, like, start now.

Investment requires proximity.

And some of you are raising adult kids now, and they don't really want to be around you.

And it's tough.

And some of it's on them, they're figuring things out, and some of it's on you.

Because you didn't do this well.

And so your job now is to create opportunity for proximity.

And I'll just say what I've seen a lot is the gap between you and your adult child, and all that's holding you back from proximity, is a real, full of conviction, well thought out opposition.

From you to your kid.

And you could get your proximity back.

Sometimes you gotta get unorthodox, okay?

I did something over Christmas that sh like shocked my family.

Shocked my family.

And it almost it kind of made me a bit of a hypocrite.

I'm just gonna let you know because for years, for years, I've really talked bad about this.

For years.

Like I was like a I was like on a mission against this, okay?

Um, but over Christmas, both the boys were in, and I learned how to play Fortnite.

So that's something I did.

And um, it's really neither here nor there, but I'm pretty good.

Like, uh now I'm not good.

Like, if we're in a firefight, I'm I'm dead immediately.

Uh but I have a strategy, and that strategy is what would I do if I was really in this game?

And the answer to that is I would hide.

So no one can ever find me, right?

And then I'm like top five, top ten every time, because I'm just in a bush somewhere like this.

I don't even have a gun.

I'm just in a bush.

I'll make top five, and I never have a gun.

So, um, but you know, Lane was in and and they were connecting and bonding, and I just I was kind of on the outside, and I could stand there and and talk, you know, but I wanted more proximity.

That the boys aren't always home together.

So we had this season.

That's where I learned how to play Fortnite because investment is incarnate, and there's always reasons to say no.

And I'm about to talk about how we have to say no, we gotta learn how to say no to many things.

But when it comes to quality time, we have to start saying yes.

Moms, we have to create rhythms of investment and patterns of investment with our daughters.

Dads, we have to create rhythms of investment with our sons.

Um, I decided when when I was convicted about how I was saying no too often, we started these rhythms.

We we call them dude days, dude days.

And uh one of the things we do is we never miss a Marvel opening and we never miss a Star Wars opening.

And back then I was working Saturdays and Sundays, and uh, and so all the educators at our venues, you're not gonna love this, but um, if I couldn't get there, I would just pull them out of school on Friday, you know, and we would we'd go see the new Star Wars or the new Iron Man or whatever.

And it was like, this is a set rhythm at the time.

There was like four Marvel movies a year.

It's like there's a set rhythm where we're gonna have this unique special time.

It's just investment.

And I learned a lot of these lessons the hard way.

And for the young parents in the room, I want you to have the opportunity to glean some wisdom and to get this right now and to not squander this opportunity.

Now, that's a lot about what to give, okay?

And we should all desire to live godly lives and model how to imitate Christ.

We gotta get serious about that.

You gotta get serious about your walk.

You gotta quit just being like a come and sit in the seat and listen to a thing and leave, and it doesn't affect you.

You gotta take a next step in, you gotta get on a team, you gotta go to the academy, you gotta let the Holy Spirit work inside of you.

But investment isn't just about what you what you give.

Investment is both about what you do give and what you do not give to your children.

And I think this might actually be the real challenge in 2025.

We're increasingly the most affluent people who have ever lived.

And so we can just give our kids everything.

And we are up against it.

Right now in the world, if your third grader doesn't have an iPhone 16 plus, you're behind.

If your 12-year-old isn't building their brand on Instagram and TikTok, you're behind.

We have convinced ourselves, and the culture is strong arming us into giving them technology and access and content that they are not ready for.

If you're new, you're just gonna have to trust me on this.

I'm not this guy, I'm not the guy that finds Satan hiding behind every bad decision you make.

But this is a spiritual movement, and we live in a spiritual reality.

And the way you know what an organization does is you look at the results.

And so believe me when I tell you there are demons in your children's smartphones.

I'm not that guy.

I'm not one of the Ghostbusters, all right?

I'm not out looking for a ghost around every corner.

There are demons in your children's smartphones.

And about 12 years old, we give our kids a smartphone with full access to all of the content that's ever been created in the world.

There is a trillion-dollar pornography industry that is desperate to get your children hooked as young as possible.

And the age of exposure to pornography is now under 10 years old.

We're in the single digits, nine-year-olds viewing hardcore pornography on their phones.

And we're handing it to them.

Demons are after your children.

Here's part of how we know this.

Um, the largest pornography distributor in the world, uh, there have been states who have tried to make them cap it to only 18 and up, and they leave the state.

They want your children.

Cartels are on social media, they want to traffic your children.

I don't have a very big social circle.

Katie and I are both pretty introverted.

We've got friends, you know.

Don't worry about us, we got friends.

Just, it's like a tight circle.

We personally know many, many families whose children have been exploited.

People trying to get them, to meet them up, to take them, to traffic them.

And we just give it to them.

And there's so much pressure.

By the time your kid's in fifth grade, their teacher assumes they have a smartphone.

We actually build systems around the assumption that our fifth graders have a smartphone and can scan their own QR codes.

That's pressure.

Not to mention the pressure from your children.

I'll tell you how we do it.

I've told you before.

Our kids get a phone.

Usually around seventh or eighth grade when they start traveling for sports, so they need to get a hold of us.

We buy iPhones specifically because of the controls on them.

We can lock them down.

They get a smartphone, it looks smart, it is dumber than the Nokia bricks we used to carry around.

It doesn't even have snake on it.

They can text me and they can call me, and that's it.

We lock it down.

We don't open up internet, we don't get on any social until minimum 16 years old.

And even then, you have to have built enough trust and you have to be mature enough.

And even then, when you start getting contacts that are friends, when you start getting social, we have software on the phones, everything is seen.

My kids know it's not their phone, it's my phone that they're using.

When I say hand me the phone, they hand me the phone.

I look through what I want to look through because I'm the parent, and there are demons in their smartphones who want their souls and want to corrupt them and want to take their precious hearts and make them insecure and dependent on people who do not care about them.

And because our kids cry a little bit, we give in and we hand them the world.

Can I tell you how it works?

I mean, there's the data.

You want to see the data?

You want to live blind, you can.

If you want to see the data, here's what happens: you give your 12-year-old daughter Instagram, and all she does is post little dorky pictures of her and her friends, and no one likes them, no one shares them, no one comments.

And then they do a dance, and in that dance, there's one move that's a little promiscuous, and 30 people like it.

And it is forming them to understand how to get attention.

And so the next week they do a dance that is a little more openly promiscuous, and 200 people like it.

And so then they're at the water park in bathing suits and they post it, and a thousand people like it.

And now they know that their worth and their value and their security comes from men who do not care about them.

There are demons in your children's smartphones, and I don't talk like this, but I have shared this message every year for six years, and I still see 11-year-olds running around meta church with smartphones.

And so let me state it so clearly, we could lose some folks.

If you're a part of this movement, I expect you, as parents, to stand in the gap for our children.

I expect you to be willing to take the arrows from other parents and from educators and from systems to take the arrows from your children who say you don't understand, and everybody has it.

Let me give my kids flowers.

Both of my boys, they're young men now.

They they did not like these rules, okay?

They did not like these rules.

But they handled them well.

And I think number one, it's because God blessed me with good kids.

And I think number two, it's because they knew we weren't budging.

They could push and they could cry and they could complain, and we weren't budging, so you might as well not waste your time.

Kids need that.

It is like the lowest of expectation.

We stand in the gap for our kids.

Here's what Paul said he said, let us not grow weary of doing good.

It is tiring parenting in a godly way.

It's exhausting feeling like your kids are on an island, and and because here's what's happening my kids, they will say, I mean, I am the only one.

And it's like you're not the only one.

They are.

It's tiring.

Do not grow weary of doing good.

This is investment language.

At the proper time, you will reap a harvest, but you can't give up.

You can't give up.

Investment is about what we give our kids and what we do not give our kids.

Your kids need to hear the word no.

They need to hear it a lot, they need to get used to it.

The word no creates boundaries, and your kids are safe and saved by boundaries.

Remember, we have a promise.

If we invest in our kids when they are young, it will create a foundation of faith that they can fall back on at some point.

And look, we come to Meta, we come to these venues.

Those of you who are our online family, you you tune in because we just get real.

There's a lot of pressure in parenting.

There's pressure from our kids up to us.

For some of us, there's pressure from our parents down on us trying to tell us how there's pressure from our peers, there's pressure about the future.

See, investment is rooted in trusting God.

Investment is rooted in this deep, abiding trust that God is in control, that we can think about the future, God's already there.

And when we realize that this type of parenting, investment-based parenting, is rooted in trusting God and clinging to God's promise.

God, you told me in your word that if I invest correctly, there might be a semicolon, there might be a messy middle, there might be some wandering, there might be rebellion, it might be months, years, or decades, but you have said in your word they will have a foundation to fall back on.

And it allows you to take the pressure off.

Because investment means you don't have to control the outcomes, you can just focus on the input.

You don't have to worry about the future, you can focus on investing.

Paul said something amazing.

He said, I planted, Apollos watered.

Apollos was another missionary, also ministering to the church in Corinth.

I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth.

So then, neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth.

Metachurch, who gives the growth?

Only God gives the growth.

You will have to let your children go someday.

They will leave your house someday.

Hopefully, right?

Hopefully, someday, they will leave the house.

And if you can trust God, then you can take the pressure off, and the pressure isn't helping you.

The pressure is defeating, it causes despair, it causes distraction, it causes depression.

The pressure's not helping you, it's hurting you.

You're worried about what other parents are gonna say.

Other parents are like, My kids never know how to get a hold of your kids.

Yeah.

And you've got my number, hit me.

Oh, I was looking for your kid on Instagram, I didn't see them.

Yeah, they're not on there.

We're so worried about the pressure of what other parents might think.

And I am telling you, if we are living the Christian life, we answer to somebody higher.

When your time on earth is through, you're not gonna stand in front of Becky from Carline.

You're gonna stand in front of Jesus.

And we better be ready to answer how we invested in our children.

And us saying, Well, you don't understand, I mean everybody let their kids.

Those excuses are not going to hold up under the scrutiny of the judgment seat of Christ.

Investing in our children is about trusting in God, freeing ourselves from the pressure so we can invest in them.

Investing is incarnate, it requires proximity.

It's about what you give and what you restrain.

It's about standing in the gap and being willing to take the arrows from any side in order to protect our kids.

It's about trusting God.

That if we invest now, his promise will stand.

He said in his word, start your children out on the right way, and when they are old, they will not depart from them.

So if you have little kids, you have a very unique opportunity right now to get this right.

We are gleaning from the wisdom of God together today, and you have an opportunity to apply that wisdom into your life.

For some of you, your kids are older.

Maybe they're in that messy middle right now.

And you, if you're honest, you just haven't done very well at this.

You haven't been able to say to your kid, you want to be like Christ?

Watch me.

Watch.

I'm gonna mess up, but watch me.

You couldn't say that.

Maybe you didn't know Jesus.

Maybe you're a new believer, and so your kids haven't come up under that.

The time to start is now.

God holds the timeline, not us.

God is the God of redemption.

You have no idea the difference you can make.

You're like, yo, my kids are already 18, they're gonna be out of the house in six months.

You have no idea what God could do in six months.

The time to start is now.

The time to trust God is now.

The time to submit to Him and get on that path of becoming Christ, like it's now.

For some of you, your kids are out of the house.

And they weren't raised on the paths of righteousness.

And it's it's difficult.

You know, Katie and I were we are parenting one adult child right now.

He's out of our house, he lives in college station, he's going to school.

It's very different.

When they become adults, you lose one of your two levers.

You have influence and you have position.

And when they're adults, you no longer have the position.

You no longer get to say, in my house, it's like, dad, I don't live in your house.

You know, it's like, okay, I that one don't work anymore.

Well, as long as I'm paying for it, it's like, yeah, I've got my own job.

It's like, okay, well, all you have is influence.

And you need to know whether your kid is 20 or 30 or 50.

Your influence still matters.

You are still their parent.

You can still be a role model, you can still be an example.

You must be pursuing God, and you must be pursuing proximity.

There is a chance that some of us here today, the only thing keeping us from proximity that can make a difference in our adult children's lives is an apology.

You need to inventory your life.

All right, we can help you with that.

Next semester, you need to get in the academy, we'll help you with that.

Maybe you're in it right now, you're getting help.

You need to be able to come with a thought-through, real, full of conviction, apology, and start the path of reconciliation so you can get back in proximity with your adult children and they can see the difference that God is making in your life.

It's not too late.

As long as God is God, there is hope.

And God sits on an eternal throne.

He is not going anywhere.

The question for us today is what are we going to do with that semicolon?

What are we going to do with the messed up middle, with the tension?

Parenting is not about perfection, it's not about pressure, it's about trusting God and investing well into the children that God has given us.

Let's pray as we close right where you're at, across our venues, bow your head, close your eyes, create some space for you, for the people around you.

Investment is incarnate.

Some of you who are here with us today, you've never started a relationship with Jesus.

That is your first step towards the relationships that God has destined your life for.

It starts with knowing Jesus.

God demonstrated how much he loves us, and that while we were still sinners, still in our semicolon, still in rebellion, God demonstrated his love for us, and that while we were still sinners, he came.

Jesus came incarnate.

Creator stepped into creation, put on flesh and blood.

He showed us investment requires proximity.

He came right here among us.

He's not a God who talks a big game and then keeps us at an arm's reach.

He came right into the middle of our mess.

God demonstrated his love for us, and that while we were still sinners, he came and he died.

This is the picture of parenting.

It's dying to ourselves, it's dying to our selfishness, it's dying to our pride, it's dying to our wants in order to invest well in the children God has given us to invest in.

God's love for you is evident in the person of Jesus, flesh and blood, who came down for us and who wants to live forever with us.

Jesus didn't come, die, and raise again to offer you religion.

It's not ten hoops to jump through, it's not five steps to get right.

It's one decision to put your faith in him.

And if you have not done that, I implore you to take that step today, to believe that Jesus is who he says he is and he's done what he says that he's done.

And so here, with everyone's eyes closed, across our venues, if you're here today and you've never put your faith in Jesus, I want to give you the opportunity to do that.

In this moment of courage, I want to ask you, if you're ready, to just put your hand up in the air.

By raising your hand today, you're saying, I choose to put my faith in Jesus.

Amen.

Amen.

For those who raised a hand, I want you to know that God sees and he accepts your faith.

That he has now brought you into relationship with himself and given you eternal life.

And all I want to do is help you acknowledge this moment through very simple prayer.

So if you raised your hand, I want you to repeat this with me.

I'm gonna ask all the believers in the room to repeat it as well.

Let's pray like this.

Jesus, today I choose to put my faith in you.

I believe you are God that you died for my sins and rose from the grave.

I thank you for loving me and forgiving my sins.

Thanks so much for listening to the message today.

If this was helpful to you and you want to help us get the word out, you can subscribe to this podcast.

You can rate and review or share it with your friends.

If you want to get connected further with what MetaCurch is doing, you can go online to metachurch.tv.

There you can learn how to take next steps.

You can learn where our different venues are at if you ever wanted to visit, and you can also give financially to help push this movement forward.

Man, I love you guys, and I hope you have a great rest of your day.