How to train you family | Dr Pr Daniel Kong

You're listening to a message to go from acts church.

We hope this message will light up your day.

Has the Gospel or the Good News been you know,

spread all over has the great commission which is to

make disciples of all nations all around the world.

Has it been reached it?

No?

Yes or no answer? Very simple no? Right?

But why this guy? Simple statement, simple fact. It reached

all around the world, and not just reach You know

it's accessible. You want it, you go down to family, mind,

you go down to seven eleven, can get it within

arm's reach. Amazing, Right, So the question is is it's

cooked better than Jesus?

I don't know. But how come it's not fulfilled?

Now you must understand, even during that time, just to

give you a bit of background, there wasn't any tepelogy, right,

There were no printing press. There weren't big building billboards.

I'm talking about nineteen twenty three era or even Jesus' time.

You think about it even worse, right, when you need

to communicate, it takes a while. But the disciples, at

least in the first couple hundred years after Jesus, they

had nothing except the Holy Spirit. Of course, Jesus was

with them as well at the early days. But they

managed to make a lot of disciples spread the good

news as almost as power or you know, as good

as what this mission or vision statement is. But something

stopped along the way, right, So one of the things

that I feel is the problem. It's not so much

of the vision. Maybe there is. Sometimes we say we

do not for few the division at the company vision

all that is because we may not fully understand vision statement.

So maybe understanding is the problem. Now the question is

do we understand the vision statement of what was written

in the Great Commissioners Mettron eight?

Are we not clear? Is the question here?

Okay, so the topic today, Like I said, it's not

to bash people, not to make you feel bad, but

just trying to illustrate. In fact, I'm a very factual person,

engineer by nature, so I do think like this, why

this way if you do not have a if you

don't have a problem, you try to find out why

the solution couldn't be met, because you know, engineers tend

to be problem solvers like that, right, So really it's

coming back to the original command, the call to make

disciples of all nations, and again just to be very

clear is not to share the gospel, Okay, Sharing gospel

is one aspect, not also to be the follower, I

mean the you know, the believers of Christ. But to

be disciples and then make disciples. That is the command.

That is the call. Okay, Just to be very clear

because sometimes they think, oh, you know, as long as

you share the gospel, you know you've done your part,

you're making disciples. No, you can be sharing, But a

believer can be may not necessarily be a disciple, disciple

or continue to disciple. Right. I think we've established that previously.

A believer can may not also necessarily be a laborer

of God.

Right.

For Christ, a disciple surely is a laborer. So far

so what is the disciple? Just to recap, Like I said,

we put a pause on this for quite some time.

What is a disciple or a discipler? What's what's the characteristics?

Do you remember.

What is little christ? What is Christians? Correct teachings?

Right?

You see somebody, you know, the person is a little Christian.

In fact, the early days you used to call him

lit Christians because it's a mockery.

Right.

The Christ's likeness is what we're looking for. And if

you have your christ like or christ Like minded, you

will be a discipler for sure, because that's part of

the command. Right, So turn to your neighbor and ask

your neighbor, are you a discipler of Jesus?

Okay? Do you answer? Don't worry.

Like I said, it's not to mock, it's just to

or not. It's just trying to help you understand this

because you if you really call yourself a discipler of Christ,

you would be discipling others.

Okay.

Now, as I mentioned, this was prepared some time back,

so I put up a slide. Okay, it's a very

fun thing because how many of you watched the movie

How to Train Your Dragon?

Right?

Okay, so this is a funny twist on that because

I believe it's also important to go where is not

the easiest, but the closest ground around you? And where's

the closest ground around you? Family at home?

Okay?

So, like I said, family Sunday material. But I think

it's still relevant, okay, because where can you begin to

disciple at this if let's say you are first generation,

or if you are the only one, or even when

I say family, not necessarily just the immediate family. You

can also be I'm quite sure you got uncles, aunties

to not yet yet you're not yet, but Grandpa's, Grandma's

and all that you know, that is still part of family.

And no matter how dysfunctional that family is, it is

still a potential ground for discipling to happen. Right, And

just so that you know, I'm also extending it beyond

biological family, but biological family will be your closest okay,

So for those of you you can also think about,

you know, your workplace, church, et cetera. Those are all

still family, all inclusive as well. But of course today

I'm just gonna be focused more on using families an example.

Why is it importance because today we prayed right and

ECF pray for the families. So families is important, all right.

This service alone has a lot of young families. And again,

just to define families, it's not when you have kids

running around, okay. Families starts whenever you come together, and

as I mentioned, two people get married, and as I mentioned,

it also extends beyond just so even if you're a single,

young working adult, young kid as well, bro.

Listen or not? Yeah my son? Sorry? Yeah?

So yes, you have family all around you. Okay, and

again it's not just the older speaking to the younger.

The younger can speak to the older as well. Okay,

you just wanted to lay that ground.

Why is it important? And how do you do this?

It's the main just as a message, just very tree

simple points after this, Okay, just just beary me. But

I always set the tone. The main thing for us

is to disciple others. And how disciple others, just really

just love them, show them how it can be done.

That is how you can relate to them. Now, sometimes

we think about barriers of how we can disciple this

or maybe culturally different, I mean to say, back different backgrounds.

Sometimes they say intergenerous. I cannot understand why the gen

zs are doing this no cap stuff, you know, ah,

not risks that he's shaking his hit. No, no, no.

But but what you can do is to speak the

common language. The love of God is translatable no matter

what age. If you can communicate that or show them

that you know that it will work out, you're discipling

them already.

It goes beyond that.

Okay, So let's come back to uh some passages because

it's important to be grounded by passage.

So let's look at the Bible.

Right. Deuteronomy, by the way, due to dronomy, is one

of the passages that talks about discipleship aside from the

usual Right, let's look at digit army six.

Okay, if you can.

What does he say? He dictarmy six. Let's read okay,

six one to two. It's really together. Actually, let's do

this for a change now before we begin. The title

or the hitting in the NIV version talks about the love,

sorry love the Lord your God, and in some other

transitions it's called it the Great the Great Tests, not

the great the greatest commandment. All right, let's read this

in verse one. These are the commands decrease and the laws.

The Lord your God directed me to teach you to

observe in the land that you are crossing in the Jordan,

to possess, so that you, you, your children and their

children after them, fear the Lord your God as long

as you live, by keeping all his decrees and commands

that I give you, and so that you may enjoy

long life. Very simple, okay, very straightforward as well. Now

I've also highlighted Thanksgable for fixing my slide as well,

the first slide the important bits you so you are involved, okay,

what else? Your children and then your and dear children.

So like I said, it's multi generational, okay, it goes

beyond that one tier.

Okay.

And what are we called to do, okay, is to

keep his decrease, the Lord's decrease and his commands that

it's given to you. Now, just a few observations just

looking at some.

Of these verses up here.

Okay, discipleship has to do with generational discipleship. Like I

mentioned earlier, Okay, it has to extend beyond one. So

sometimes when we say, oh, you know, I don't have

enough particular age group or this age group I cannot

relate to. No, it's not right because here it talks

about intergenerational. We need to be focused not just on

cultural interests and all that, but really all generations. What's

the main thing here? The focus on here is to

do with obedience, right because helping them or you know,

as long as they keep to the decrease and the

commands I give you. What else can we see here?

One thing that I can tell you is not there.

It's not about Bible knowledge. It's not about just the learnings,

but it is about really obedience. So like what Elaine

said earlier, just Obela, don't know why he kicked me there,

I mean encourage me to do that.

Just Obeyila.

And that's why, really what it is our whole life

as long as we continue to follow through. When be

a con disciples, it's always about yeah, just obey. You know,

we may not fully understand. We don't have to be

a Bible scholar to do that. That's what I'm trying

to say here. Another observation here is notice the Bible

tells you what is the outcome at the end, and

what is it? Enjoy long life? How many ons to

have long life?

It's a very Chinese thing right now. Not no Chinese.

I think it's cross culture, a very Malaysian thing.

I want to enjoy long Chinese culure, Chinese long noddles

and all that kind of thing. But yeah, everything is

cross culture. Everybody wants to enjoy long life. Amen, Amen, Amen, Okay,

it's Chinese, just China. Manner is louder than everybody else anyway. Now,

so let's carry on reading. I'll just read on so

to say sometime now. In verse three, here is real,

and be careful to obey. So it's to be careful

to obey, so that it may go well with you,

and that you may increase greatly in the land flowing

with mill and honey, just as Lord, the God of

your ancestors, promise you Verse four. Here o Israel, the

Lord of the Lord, our God. The Lord is one.

Love the Lord your God, with all of your heart,

and with all of your soul, and with all of

your strength.

Verse six.

These commments that I give you today are to be

on your hearts, all pauset there for a while. So again,

what is key here? It talks about loving God.

That is it.

And that's why it's not mentioned to you to help

bridge that generational gap and all those other barriers. Just

teach them to love God. That's all really, that is it.

It's not about it's about discipling the heart. It's what

I'm trying to say here, because when you disciple the heart,

all the other things, the art, the obedience, what you do,

the product is a product of the heart. Okay, But

if you force it, your force obedience, then it's all legalistic,

right or do this, do that. But if you go

with the heart, everything will be an expression. So that's

why we say you must love God with all your heart,

soul and strength. Notice what it says love, just love.

So the heart is like the root. The behavior will

be the.

Fruit if the heart is right.

Okay, So imagine this when we go back again, we say,

train your you know your family, train your children, train

their children. What are you training them? You're training them

to love God, that's it. So before you go and

see you cannot relate to gen zs like I said.

You can just help them love God with all their heart,

all their soul, and all their strength. And they I

can guarantee you they'll live a wholier life. They will

live a more obedient life. Okay, because why once you

love God, action will follow all right. Otherwise it's just legalism,

like I said. And that's the problem here. So then

how do you disciple people, children, everybody else it is too.

Teach them to love that's it. Turn to your neighbor

and tell them, teach them to love God with all

their heart, soul and strength.

Okay.

And notice it begins with you. I read the message

the verse one verse before it begins.

With you, you.

Your children. And then their children.

Okay. So the use.

Here is you and I. If you cannot love God,

how do you then translate that love?

Right? Okay? So every okay, so far, let's read the

next portion. Okay. Uh, it says here where do I

have here? Okay? Verse seven?

Impress them on your children, Talk about them when you

sit at home, and when you walk along the road,

and when you lie down and when you get up.

Tie them as symbols on their hands, and bind them

on your foreheads, write them on the door frames of

your houses and or on your gates. Okay, So what

does this mean?

Right?

We establish this dici push. It begins with the heart

already right, and then we are to help them love

God more.

Right.

And when you say you shall impress them, some transitions

will say impress simply means to teach them diligently.

Okay.

And what's the important thing that we're teaching them, just

to recap begin, is to teach them to love God first.

And like I said earlier, if you do not love God,

you cannot teach them that. It's rare to translate that

because you're only using your hit knowledge to to translate

that love. So therefore, it's really disciples is really one

life to another. When I love God, it helps me

translate that love to someone. That's to disciple others to

understand that love. Okay, So effectively one trying to say

is that you need to work on yourself first, right now,

what are we to do impress and to teach them,

the children diligently to the point right it says, it's

very specific. Talk to them when you sit, when you walk,

when you lie down, when you get up, so pretty

much all scenarios from the moment you wake up until

you lay in bed. You continue to impress on your children. Now,

as I said, I'm gonna just land with three points

and then we'll end all right. So the principles I

can summarize just by reading this versus here on how

to disciple people, it's really just points here.

Okay.

Firstly, you need to model it, okay, when you sit,

when you walk, in other words, in every way of life.

The first word here or the first key point here

is to model, okay. Second one is to talk about relationship. Okay,

you need to have relationship with them to be able

to disciple them. It's easier, don't get me wrong. You

can still disciple others, but when you have relationship, when

you spend enough time with them, but it's enough trust,

it's easier to disciple.

Okay.

So that's what it says here, because to impress them,

even the simple English would impress. You're impressed when you

you know, when your rop shoulders right, when you know

the person, So how can you impact them? You need

to have relationship with them?

Okay?

And then the last one here is the word intentional.

Okay.

I will come to that in a bit, but just

basic English words. I think you understand what it means

to then teach or disciple.

People to love God.

Every work is so far one simple or heck, here

is is MRI.

Medical? So am I right? The heart?

If you're gonna do test on anything right, just check

on the heart right okay? So principal number one, are

you okay ready?

Okay? Model? What is model?

When you want to disciple people, you've got to model it.

What's the basis here? What we read in Deuteronomy, But

not just that. Let's read first Corinthians here, okay, eleven

versus one. It says here, imitate me just as I

also imitate Christ. So the apostle Paul Here. Apostle Paul

Here talks about imitation. What's imitation? Me making copying? Okay,

and this principle is very simple. As you copy, they

copy you.

Right.

Let's do exercise is I know it's a banana leave

kind of a time after postal if you're processing it.

So let's stand up. Everybody stand up with me. Let's

do a quick excise. Stretch a little bit. Okay, okay,

now listen to my instructions again. Okay, lift up your

right hand okay, high okay, hold your ring finger for

finger with your thumbe make a circle okay. And then

when I give you instructions, everybody's away, right, give you instructions,

you will then uh, you know, use hold the ring,

touch your your your chin uh. And then as I come,

want to tree, okay, really want to tree? See funny right,

some of you touch here? Why because it's easy to

copy reference even though I, you know, verbally tell you chin.

Some of you did that right, so he may be seated.

This is simple exercise because why it's easy for children

to copy or mimic. Again, it's I know, I know,

I saw I rushed it a bit by they say Chin,

but you know we did this for Chin, right and

sorry if you if you do not know where Chin

is is here, okay, just joking, just joking. Okay, So

you know children notly they sometimes don't know where it is.

They don't listen as well.

Right. So that's the reason why it is always important

for you to model it out.

If you model it out, it's easier for someone to follow.

I know something you have used your left hands out

forgiving with that right hand is here. I know when

you're looking here is sorry about that? Okay, forgiven today.

But that's that's why this simple excise is to get

you to you know, to to to not for all

stay on me. And the second thing is so to

ensure that you understand the power of modeling.

Okay.

And again, when I say model, it doesn't necessarily just

mean perfection. Some people feel that I can only model

when I'm perfect. No, modeling just helps simplify for the

person that you are trying to again come towards that

living relationship with God. The more important thing about modeling

is not perfection, but actually authenticity, okay, meaning to say,

you've got to be authentic about this. If you love

God authentically, you know, and that is an authentic relationship.

It's easier for you to then model that, so authentic

modeling is more important. Okay, And again, why do people

or even children or people in general turn away from God?

You will often hear that it's not because God has

hurt them. More often than not, is people have disappointed them.

So the people that look up for or people that

are supposed to be modeling the love of God is

not doing a good job to some extent. Okay, why

because hypocrisy can kick in whether it is a church

or at home. You can be saying something like I said,

just now you know chin, but you're doing something else

and children will pick it up very simple. So again,

it doesn't mean you have to be perfect. You just

need to be authentic. Okay, let me give you an example.

I'm sorry Zach and my sons and all that. Half

my examples always about them because again it's for family,

so a lot of it will come from my family. Okay, so, oh,

just was walked out?

Cool?

Let's talk about this. Yeah, one day over dinner. One

day over dinner, my wife saw, if you know, she talks,

she talks quite a fabit so she asked me a question,

but I ignored her. Maybe perhaps you know I was distracted.

I don't know, I can't remember exactly. Again, my attention

was somewhere else. However, my kids picked it up, and

then they did say, you know why you ignoring me?

I think it was your zach Why I ignore you? Mommy? There,

I knew I was in trouble already, right, So so,

and the thing is, you know, we are always taught

not to ignore people, right, especially from Asian context. You know,

respect your elders, respect your spouse, respect everybody else. When

they talk, you listen, right, even though you I mean,

I'm a generally a quieter person in why nature, But

somehow I just missed it right, And we encourage the brothers.

I've got two boys, so I encourage them to you know,

when they talk, you listen to them as well. Likewise,

when your grandma talks, when your mom talks, your dad talks,

et cetera, you always listen. So I was very tempted

to explain myself and be defensive naturally, I'm like, but

I chose to not do that. I said, exact, thank

you for correcting me. Then he will smile because he's like, yeah,

I cut you out, kids, right. You know this is

where he was much younger, by the way, not not

at this age. She's now fourteen. I think it's probably

when he was I think six or seven, quite young

and impressionable back then. So whatever you say, literally childlike faith,

You're like, you say this, how can we not do that?

Right?

So so he corrected me, So I then have to

listen eat the humble pie. Yeah, yeah, I.

Get your point. Yeah.

For those of you who know him from very young,

he's also even though he's very younger, he's quite he's

quite the you know, his mind is like much older

than his age, even at that time. So I had

to then, yeah, thanks for correcting me. I apologize to

my wife as well. She's not here, so it's fine,

but I say sorry, please forgive me, right because I

shouldn't have been distracted and I ignor you. But this

happens a lot, right in life. Sometimes we say something

and we do something else. I tell Zach, you know it,

don't boss your brother around to take stuff. But sometimes

I say, he actually, can you tell me get the

thing of the I do that. So it helps that

when we want to do something right. We shouldn't say

it because sometimes as parents or even as a disciplests,

as just word discipless, we tend to give instructions because

so easy to just give instructions, But the best way

to teach is actually to model, do what is right,

and then everything will come into place. I just yeah,

we just mentioned about you, but yeah, nothing too embarrassing.

Aha. Yeah.

So that's why it's very important for those everyone, those

that are in position, you know, like as parents, as

leaders in your workplace, et cetera. You know, you sometimes

need to ask yourself what do I need to stop doing?

Or in the flip side, is also what do I

need to start doing? When you're put in the position

to role model something very important, very simple, but sometimes

very hard to do, right, don't look at your phone,

don't you know the kind of thing. So we need

to be disciplined as well. Okay, so let's let's let's

continue to do this well, ensure that we model this

correctly and work. So far, very simple, right, two more

points and then I'm done, all right. Second one relationship,

and I didn't mention relationship at the start, as well

as the second principle. Okay, now, with relationship is a

very special thing. The closer you get to someone, and

in terms of relationship, I'm not talking about the lovely

Dorvey kind, just any relationship. It may be peer relationship,

it might be friends, it might be anything. But the

closer you are, the larger influence could be on that

person that you're having the relationship with. Okay, and again

not boygirl relationship only. I'm talking about other relationship as well.

Mother and dad.

If you're close, relationship is stronger son father son mother.

Same thing peers to two students, et cetera. You know, uncle, nephew,

you feel the blanks. Okay, the closer you are, the

greater the influence. That's why relationship is very important. And

this is not something that we created as humans. By

the way, Jesus did it first, all right. He was

the master of all relationships.

Let me show you, Okay.

In Mark three, verses thirteen to fourteen, it says as

Jesus went up on a mountain side and called to

him those he wanted. So he called and only selective

those that he wanted, and they came to him. He

appointed twelve, of course, with this other twelve disciples that

they might be with him, so purpose calling appointing. But

what happens after that is so that they can be

around him, so that they can hang together. So relationship

is really spending time.

That's it. That's how you grow relationship. Right.

You cannot be in relationship by clocking in neil or zero.

It wouldn't go verified some can. I don't know how

we did it. Yes, we did long distance for how

many years?

Eight years something that I don't know how.

But it still requires some form of contact or more

specific communication. Right, But relationship is all about time spent

together and after that, it says there so that they

or he them, they can then do their part to preach,

to make more disciples, et cetera. Okay, so Jesus noticed,

not sorrying Jesus recognize the importance of relationship.

What is it, just.

To be clear again, is to be with him or

to be with the disciples. So when you want to disciples, somebody,

your disciple, has to spend time with you. Okay, don't

just I mean nowadays I know there's texts and all that.

Don't don't get me wrong.

Those are effective ways to build relationship, but it's more

effective if you spend time with them, real relationship, real time,

face to face, not face time. Okay, you cannot go fishing,

just joking, but yeah, remotely I'm skidding. Yeah, I mean

that's just what I do, right, We spend time together.

We just went fishing not too long ago, yesterday. But yeah, no,

that's not my point. Sorry, Okay, you cannot build relationship

if you don't spend time, because it is my main

point there. If you only disciple somebody, you need to

spend time with them. And if you want to disciple

children and their children, you need to spend time with them.

So sometimes I feel right that, yes, in the whole

rad race, we sometimes may tend to neglect. You provide

one aspect, but you neglect another aspect, right, or I

need to ensure that you are all settled, but you're

not discipling them. And that's where all this absent parent

and all that. Again, don't get me wrong, if I'm

not knocking, it's all important as well, but you need

to balance because if you don't spend time there, you're

not discipling them all right, And the Bible gives a

warning first Correnthine fifteen Territree I don't think I put

it up. Sorry, let's just just read it if you can.

First Corinthians fifteen to territory. By the way, just bring

a Bible, you know. Sometimes I do have other things

that I forget to put in. It says here, do

not be deceived. Bad company corrupts what good habits? Some

versions say good characters, some will say good morals. So

essentially what they're trying to say that is that the

starting point is good, but if the company is bad,

the good will also become bad. Right, so you need

to be aware. And that's always say hang or you

know disciple that is all to build each other up

as well. There's a purpose for it. It's not just

to have fun. It's what I'm trying to say here, right,

It's very important. And like I said earlier, the closer

you are in the reship, the greater influence. So who

are your children hanging out with?

Do you know? Should you know?

I think the answer is yes you should because if

you do not do that again you hear stories about

mixing a bad company and then it's too late. You

already don't have a relationship, and how can you then

sweep in and then try to fix the problem. Okay,

So the Bible is also have a lot of these

anods of truth and instructions for you to do this well.

And again, even if you're not having children right now

or not in the in the situation where you have children,

you need to apply this to people that you're discipling

with because they are quote unquote your children that you're

caring for at this point in time.

Okay, So.

Story time, Esure recently came to me and it was

very afraid. This was about two weeks ago.

Okay.

He came to me with his report, not card, report sheet.

He gives a report sheet. Right after a long time,

after a long weekend, he came to me. He's and

he came trembling and all that, bro, what's wrong? And

I'm not gonna what's wrong? You know.

Uh.

Then we finally sat down after he spoke to mummy.

Mammy already gave him an ear foolady. Then he came

to me and then.

He was afraid.

By sat down him and talked to him. Obviously, as

you can tell from the tone, maybe perhaps the results

were not. Again, we're not those kinds like you all

is kind of a parent, it's more like from the

last time we spoke many terms ago. He made some

promises and he didn't follow trough and then because of

that the results were not so good. So it's more

on that kind of perspective. Okay, but both Jess and

myself we understood this very important what he called this

principle that we shouldn't overreact or react to quickly. We

should allow the kid to talk first. Right, communications were important,

and all people, even leaders workplaces, you understand that you

need to nurture the younger ones. You need to allow

him to talk first, and not just help come KPI

and the kind of thing, right, you need to nurture

listen out why give them the benefit of doubt? And

this is exactly what we did as I listened to

you know, like inside they're like, you know, listen, listen, listen.

So it's what's going on, you know why? You know,

then after much hesitation, he could quickly explain himself.

Basically it's a slackert. He needs to be reminded. Uh,

he didn't bring his work home.

So half the time he didn't do well is because

he didn't didn't submit his work. Why because he didn't

bring his work home, and I did bring the whole

back home. Back when I was young, I used to

bring my whole back to the school. Not got lockers,

you know.

So he didn't remember his books.

That's why I can I do his homework, and that's

why I can I submit. That's a long story shot,

and that's why he didn't do so well, that kind

of a thing like, so what can you do?

I'm like, you bring your book long and bring back ala.

You know.

So so of course talk talk talk talk talk, uh practicipations,

uh you know, salate or what it was in English, uh,

slip in, slip in some biblical truths to to the

situation as well.

You know, uh, you know it's my own story. La.

You know you need to be diligent, you know. You

know it says whatever you do do to the Lord.

Though those kind of things are you know, you work

for the Lord, you know, give it your best when

you study, et cetera, et cetera.

So can I tell something?

He cried, right, even though I was not scolding him.

He cried right, but he will open up. He opened up,

and then he he he then set himself some targets

and so far that right, so far he's been falling

through the last two weeks of making it. So he

was he committed to like this time, this time on Sunday,

you'll spend time doing this. He'll bring all his books home,

regardless whatever subjects is supposed to do so that that's

just practical. Yeah, it is practical.

He did it.

I didn't really coach him, but I helped them. I

supported him in the process, but I allowed him to communicate.

And you see, it's a simple thing. But actually that

is where relationship. It's also built trust. Right of course,

I can just go and by the way, we don't.

We don't.

We don't wag or we don't discipline him in that sense,

but we sometimes in the past reprimand verbally, and I

realized that doesn't help. So I try something new here.

Let's see, hopefully it works. But it's a sipleship, right.

Relationship is very important. And so far he's still confident,

he's still doing his part. Ah, and we are not

using punishment or dangling. Used to I used to dangle

by because rewards in the past.

Let's not do that. But we do, praise God.

We've seen improvements in the last couple of days and

what I'm trying to say here is that really important model. Secondly,

just do relation, spend time with them, because the worst

that happens that actually you don't come and talk to

me at all when he feels that that is not approachable.

And then how can disciple the kid then or anybody else? Again,

it could be somebody appear that you're discipling. If you've

always there to just it doesn't get anywhere, It doesn't

build that person. So be gentle to your disciples, all right,

build relationship. Then only can talk to them and really

build together. Last point, right, intention intentional is the main

way here, and the idea here is really that we

don't want to sell them things that are effective or

things that are that works happens by chance, okay, it

often requires some intentional intervention or intentional work that is

placed there. And that's why I purposely put this arrow there.

You know, you don't just simply shoot left and the

arrow and the right. It's very intentional, all right. And

this let's look at Ephesian six four.

I have I have a.

Whole verse there bouts jumps. Just read the first part

about children obeying their parents or children obey your parents

in the Lord, for.

It is right. So Zach, you left the room.

Okay, that might obey your parents, honor your father, your

mother with the first commandment, with this promise, and that

it may be well with you, and you may live

a long life again, long life or it's all about

living long okay. And this is the part that is

so important for parents. And here's his father's but it's interchangeable, right, fathers,

do not provoke your children to wrath.

Wow.

When I first read them, I'm like, don't anger them,

don't don't put them until they get angry. But bring

them up in training and admonition. And what this means

is really true discipline, true instruction of the Lord. Now

when you read this right, m yeah, it'sracular. Do not

promote them, do not jab them for no reason, but

instead discipline. Of course, all these Roman patients give instructions

forgive give them second chance, et cetera, et cetera. It's

very important, right, And you bring them up, nourish them,

inspire them instead of just knocking them, because when you

knock them, they don't. Sometimes they you knock them too hard,

they can't come back up again. Right, And it's a

comment commandment, do not provoke, but bring them up. That's

that's what it says here in Problems Training two six

it uses the same language. Okay, it says train up

a child in the way he should go. And the

last part is and even when he is old, he

will not depart in it. Now, how many you know,

good training stays you forever. It's like riding a bike

kind of thing. If you actually teach a kid how

to ride a bike correctly, there's a lot of less correction,

and even if he grows or you haven't readen the

bike for a while, you still know you'll come back

to you. And that's why sometimes the early parts of

that teaching is very important. By the way, my kids

learn how to ride a but in four hours before that,

no nothing, We didn't have training wheels before as well.

I just read up.

And then there's this very brutal way of teaching them

how to do. But they in four hours where he's gone,

they learned the boat them learned on the same day.

Maybe Ashue was a bit longer. He cried a lot crying,

but yeah, but you teach them right, you set them

better rather than to undo the wheels and all that,

and what was listening anyway?

There's something else.

But now, of course, when we read the word train,

we think of the natural train. But in Hebrew the

word trains actually uh china, I'm not too sure, okay,

And it means to get them started, to train as well,

but to dedicate and to get them started.

All right.

Now, if you read through the some of the scriptures

they also use this word is actually being used, uh

to to to be referred to the palette or the

gums or the roof of the mouth. And what they

do with Hebrew babies is that they actually rub some

sweet juice, something sweet and the top of the mouth

to stimulate or initiate the reflex of the suck sucking, right,

just like how sometimes modern day we put the kid,

the newborn near the bosom and the boot right so

that they can then start to develop that sucking thing.

Back then they used to put something sweet there. Okay.

So that's the word train, you know English language, to

train up. Okay, it's important because it is very it's

not just training, but it's important to kick start. And

that is the word being used in the scriptures that

we just read to kick start. This relationship to kick start.

So it's very intentional.

There's a purpose.

A purpose is there to create desire, because desire cannot

well continue to develop. But if you don't create the

right platform at the start, it will not come to

this level of really wanting to to to you know,

to run to be really disciples of Christ. Right, That's

why it's very important here to understand the context. So

how to kick start things.

It's intentional.

It cannot randomly happen, right, Some things that we do here,

even this one here putting that suite thing, the peal

and mouth, it's very calculated, right, and that is important.

Now I'm going to end with one last story and

then now you know, extreme can start coming up very soon.

Uh maybe in a two minutes time. But yeah, some

of you may know my son Zachary has got a

problem with a medical problem I would say growing up. Okay,

when even as a young kid, a.

Baby, he used to vomit a lot.

Uh, And we used to think that always because of

long car rides, motion sickness, that kind of a thing.

So he's very prone to warmitting flights to so warmut cars, warment.

So that's why we both decided a those cloth seats.

Let's go let the seats all the way because.

Easy to clean.

And literally every whether it's a five minute ride or

you know, one hour ride, he'll vomit and it's like

everywhere all over again. Let's not get more graphic than that, Okay,

But when he grew older, it's not just a random

small bouts of warming thing, which we you know, thought

it was motion sickness. By the way, I got permission

from Exact to share about this because you know, it's

obviously a medical thing. As he grew older into primary school,

it got worse. It became very frequent, to the point

that his episodes can last for days. That means when

he starts vomiting and he wakes up, he'll warm it

throughout the day. Everything he consumes straight away comes out

in about five to ten minutes and this will go

on for five days.

Uh and then yeah. In short, he's malnourish a little bit.

He We've seen different specialists, hospitals are best friend, different hospitals,

different specialists. He's got scans from up here all the

way down here, everywhere. Whatever am has been done all

parts to this to try and find out and this

is something that has happened as early as six or

seven years, all the way till his uh, you know,

till the end of primary school. And you see, for

a parent, right, it's one of the most hardest things

for us to deal with, not only the logistics. You

can take it out of school, fine parking, you know, hospitals, right,

you'll be at least half a day one day kind

of thing in termis you try to rushing back. We

have to take leave, coordinate, lif coordinate. It's a lot

of work. It's a lot of work. High medical bills

as well. His like I said, his condition worsened to

the point that he was on the spectrum, sorry to scale,

the bare minimum of.

Being underweight for his age.

So it's actually was short as well, size already like

this and short as well. Okay, so I don't know

about fathers here, but as a father, you know, it's

one of the most difficult experiences in my life, not

knowing what I can do for him, right, because the

father is always like the protector role, right, right, It

felt like an not do anything. Like I said, We've

done all we can in medical sense, and on top

of that, something her the story before he's very traumatized

with needles. So every time we go to the hospital

it's like, you know, execution, and he used to scream

her abuse at us for bringing him. The whole world

will know him, uh, the whole even the emergency will

all know him by name because of his uh, it's

his screams.

Okay.

Now, what I want to stress in this or talk about,

what I want to talk about in this particular thing,

is that what I mean by intentional here is that

when me and my wife went through this for more

than six years, we were very intentional. We were there

to be with him because he was also undergoing some

complex thinking that something is wrong with him. So we

continue to love him, help him, nurture him, and help

him feel that nothing is wrong with him, at least

in a medical sense, because he also like, is God

punishing me somethimes? We have the style of thoughts, right, yeah,

And even God spoke to both of us, you know,

sometimes separately. And I know, as for myself, you know,

there's always that wrestling with God.

Is this God's voice? His voice? You know?

Sometimes the voices were like, hey, why are you still

doing this? Why are you still you know, being faithful

to your Lord. Why are you still doing what you

do maybe in church and not even know this. By

the way, we are still operating, at least on the

surface or an exterior as normal people in that stage

of life, and still doing what we can, still give

it our best for the Lord. Ah, still praying, still

doing homes, still doing church. But we keep conveying to

our family, zach essure and to say that, hey, we

need to fiercely pray for this, we need to do this.

In fact, pray and fasting. I've done, you know, next level,

next level, next level. Every youth turn we pray and

next level, and every chance we get the U turn

we do praying fasting at another level. And you know,

of course, the good thing about this story is that

there's a happy ending. He's fourteen now and you can

see it's almost as tall as me. After I think

about five six years in let me read the date

I took up this morning, April twenty twenty three, U

turn after U turn, after spending five years or so

battling this, praying for this, assuring them. My mantra at

that time was always Romans eight twenty eight.

You know, uh, you know, and.

We know that in all things, God works for good

of those who love him, and we have been caught

according to His purpose. And that was what you know,

we shared about as well to our kids. But you

know what, on that faithful day, it just completely healed

without any medical The doctors were like dumb struck, right,

But what's important here is that, you know, we recently

went to missions a few weeks a month ago, we

also were journeying some missionaries and they had a you know,

a kid with medical condition that you know, it's two

years old. They can't, they can't. She she can't really

move around too much. But the parents were just faithful

doing what they do, and we could encourage them because

of our own journey. To some extent, we prayed for

them and everything is more relatable as well.

So what I'm trying to say here is that.

The only difference is that it's not that whether we

go to different things or not, but it is actually

a choice. And that's why I meant by being intentional,

because and you decide which way you want to listen

to what you want to do. Because we could easily

just like okay, God enough, and Zach was always like

you know I can't. He was so weak, like sometimes

can't even get out of a bit. But we decided

to just continue to go, support, nourish, encourage, and we

know now that that season, at least for our family,

it created an avenue to then, you know, witness to

others or even encourage others. I don't know what your

problems are. I don't know what it is that you're

facing as well, but you see things that you go through.

When you are intentional in your discipleship, you will be

able to really see you know, our church, the peers

in your schools, the peers in your campuses, your peers

in your workplaces. It is really about what you are

deciding how you respond. That is a choice, and that

is discipleship. That is how you can model relationships having

there and you're intentionally discipling them as you are going

through and making those life choices. Remember, just to sum

it all up, discipleship is about modeling, it's about building relationship,

and it's being intentional about teaching the different ones the

things of God and how you are to respond to

even disappointments. So really don't think that this can't happen.

You've got all the opportunities. Home is actually the safest

and the most basic place you can start. So won't

you just start today at home? And I say home,

it's not just your call home, but beyond that as well,

wherever your pleased.

We hope you've been blessed by this message. For more

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this week is going to be a good week, a

hit for you. God bless