Fatherhood: A Sacred Calling

Welcome to the Lone Star Church podcast.

Pastors CF and Nicole Rady are here to share the Word of God with you each week, helping you grasp the fullness of God's plan for your life.

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Man, it is Father's Day and we are excited to celebrate Dad's today.

This is just one of my most favorite Sundays.

Father's Day About the last 20 years it's been one of my most favorite Sundays.

Father's Day About the last 20 years it's been one of my most favorite Sundays.

So Father's Day is also very special to me, not only as the father of three children, but Father's Day is the very first time that I preached at Lone Star Church and so we started 23 years ago on Father's Day.

They didn't technically hire me, I think until September, but I always count Father's Day as kind of the beginning, because once I came to try out, I never left, they never asked me to leave, and they're like I preached that that father's day and they're like well, could you come back next sunday?

I go yeah.

And then I do the next one.

They go could you come back next sunday?

I go, yeah.

I mean you drove out here.

You know there weren't people beating down the door to come pastor out of lone star, but I was.

I was excited that they asked and uh, man, 23 years, and uh, always again, I was just marked father's day as uh, that first sunday we were here and uh, let's see.

So 23, uh went three sundays, or three years, sorry, three years never missed a sunday.

The first sunday I missed was because that boy back in the back was born and I thought it'd probably be best for me to be around for that, and so we missed a Sunday there.

But we, we, we love coming out here and love being here and it's again special Father's Day, as special as a dad, and I'm thankful for the, the children that God has given me.

I've got two babies in heaven.

We had two miscarriages.

We got two babies in heaven, always thought that I'd be the father of five, and I am the father of five children and I just want to mention that.

You say, why would you mention that?

Because what Nicole and I have found is a whole lot more people have went through miscarriages than you would know, and that is not the easiest thing in the world to deal with the loss of a child.

When you get excited first time we got pregnant, you're so excited about the thought of having a baby and we had those two and then had Bo and then Lucy and Olive.

But I want you to know if you've ever had a miscarriage.

God did not take your child, but he has welcomed your child into heaven.

The enemy comes before to steal, kill and destroy.

God says he has come to give us life, and life more abundantly.

And so, while I know God didn't cause those things to happen, I am thankful, and I think of it often, that my mother and Nicole's grandma and my grandma are in heaven and they have met my babies.

Amen, Amen, and I can't wait to see those two when I get to heaven.

Those are the promises of God you cling to, amen.

And so children are a gift, and we're going to see that here in the Word.

Let's go to Psalm 127.

The 127th Psalm.

We'll start in verse 3.

Psalm 127, verse 3.

Psalms 127:3

And so this is a psalm from Solomon, and it says Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord.

Other translations say a gift from the Lord.

I think it's good we pause there just for a moment, because you know, the world sometimes sees children as a burden.

But the Bible says children are what they're a heritage, they're a gift, and I get it.

There are tough times as a parent.

There are times you look at your children and you do not see them as the gift that they are.

But they are a gift.

They're not a curse, they're not a burden.

It always amazes me so many people and I think probably today's younger generation looks at this differently than even my generation did you will never be in a place when you're married, which is God-c created family, husband and wife and that is a husband, wife and family is the vessel into which children are supposed to come.

Doesn't always happen that way, but that's the way God had planned it.

But so many people, right, they get to that point and they're like, well, we're just waiting until we can afford to have kids.

Well, unless you got five numbers and the Powerball come up or Bill Gates is your rich uncle, you're probably never going to get to the point where you could afford.

I was telling Olive the other day she was asking something.

She's always asking for money or something that one praise the Lord, right.

And she was saying something and I said you know, dad's done this and she goes oh really.

I said, let's see what.

Are you 12?

I said, olive, if you knew how many tens of thousands of dollars, or even maybe hundreds, that I've spent on you in your lifetime, or I will spend on you in your lifetime, right, if you were to really go back and add it up.

God has had to do something in your life for you to afford to have kids, because this is what I know.

Before we had kids.

I mean, a wife was a little expensive, but you had kids.

Right, it changes everything.

We, we we added one back this summer who's been gone a little bit time and I don't know what has happened to my refrigerator, but things just empty in the cupboards.

He's a healthy eater.

So here's the problem with healthy eating.

It's more expensive eating right, but part of it too.

Like they eat those rice cakes, those styrofoam, you know pieces of rice.

You can get flavored ones now they're actually pretty good.

I ate one the other day and so I bought, and they all eat them because they all want to be healthy, praise the Lord.

So I bought like three or four packages of those, and I don't know how many is in each one, like six or eight.

Yeah, there's at least six, don't shake your head.

Oh, twelve, man, even more than that.

And all of a sudden I opened the cupboard, the pantry.

One of the kids is I open the cupboard, the pantry.

One of the kids is like hey, we're out of rice cakes.

I'm like I literally bought 36 of those two days ago, right.

But you don't look at that and say, oh, these kids, no, you look and say my children are a blessing, they're heritage, amen.

They're a gift from God.

The fruit of the womb is a reward.

How many know God gave you children?

That's your reward.

When they're colicky and they're crying, they're your reward, right.

When they're hitting their brother or sister in the car and you're trying to drive, they're a reward.

When they get old enough to roll their eyes at you, they're a reward, right.

When they get old enough to sass back a little bit, they're a reward.

When they get old enough to roll their eyes at you, they're a reward, right.

When they get old enough to sass back a little bit, they're a reward.

When they get old enough to be sticking their hand out, asking for money every five minutes, they're a reward.

When you got to pay for college, they're a reward.

When you got to get them a car, they're a reward.

Pay insurance, get gas, they're a reward.

You say why do you keep saying that?

Because we got to remind ourselves of that.

Because if you don't, the enemy will try to convince you your children are a drain on your life, that they're a burden on your life.

No, they're a reward.

They're a heritage where they come from.

What's it say?

Children are heritage from the lord.

So, dads, you didn't just become a dad because of biology.

God's called you to be dead.

Being a dad, a dad, being a father, is a call on your life.

Some of you haven't experienced it yet.

I believe you will Look at verse four, talking about children.

Look what it says here.

In verse four it says, like arrows in the hand of a warrior, amen, so are the children of one's youth.

So look at this real quick.

Number one you should feel good that God calls you dads.

He calls you a warrior.

I know it feels good for someone to call you something like that man, you're a warrior.

Yes, I am man, you're just a stud.

Yes, I am Right.

It makes you just get a little pep in your step.

Someone call you a warrior.

You're a warrior Even if you've never been in a fight in your life.

Right, you're an accountant, you wear bifocals.

Right, you're a little fella, a little squirt.

God says you got kids.

You're a warrior.

You say, yes, I am Right.

Remember when he came into Gideon?

Gideon was all scared and hiding.

And the angel came in and said hey, you mighty man of valor gideon's.

Like, yes, I am.

God says you're a warrior, but look what he says your children?

He said they're like arrows.

I know arrows are, are a weapon, right and they're supposed to, but they don't move on their own.

So so what does the warrior dad do?

He takes his children, he teaches them about Jesus, he teaches them about God, he teaches them about the word, he teaches them how to be led by the Holy Spirit.

And then, when they get old enough, he puts them right On his bow and he draws it back and he aims it.

I know you can't just you ever see a kid pick up a bb gun for the first time.

This is what I've always done, even when the kids I'm teaching use like a 22 or something.

Uh, what I always do during the whole thing is I have one hand on the barrel.

It's like when I've taught t-ball right, I've coached t-ball before, when, before, when I'm putting that ball on here, I always have a hand on the bat, because as soon as that ball hits, you know what that kid wants to do.

He wants to swing and he's going to hit me.

You get a kid with a BB gun or a .22, as soon as you tell them, hey, the safety's off right, they're pointed at you, you, your children, dads.

You get to aim them and you know what your hope is that I've aimed them towards Christ and they're going to go and hit the target God's called them to hit in

life.

Talks about happy is the man verse 5,.

Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them.

Different men have different size quivers.

God's called you to be.

My grandpa was the father to 12.

My Aunt Karen was with us and I think she said my grandma, I think, had three or four miscarriages, so could have been the father of 15 or 16.

But it says happy is the man who has children.

Dads be happy.

Let your kids see you be happy.

Let your kids see you have joy.

The joy of the Lord is your strength, amen.

So we see throughout the Bible different

dads.

Joshua we're not going to look at it but Joshua.

In chapter 24, verse 15 of Joshua, he said as for me and my house, we'll serve the Lord.

What'd he do?

He said as the man of this house.

Here's what's going to happen in this house we're going to serve God.

That's why it's important for dads to be in church.

That's why it's important for dads to read the Bible, dads to talk to their children about God,

amen.

We can't just rely on the mom to do all those things.

Moms, single moms, some of you, you've got to step in and do some things that were meant to be done by two people.

But God will give you strength, he'll give you grace to do those things.

The Bible tells us in Proverbs 22, 6,.

We're not going to look at it, but Proverbs 22, 6, you can write it down train up a child in the ways you go, and when he is old he will depart from it.

So guess what children they're, what they're a gift, their heritage, but they have to

be.

What trained your kids?

Just obedient, automatically.

I know some kids kind of naturally tend to be a little obedient.

I always remember I think about.

I was thinking about jennifer and truman, and so I had the uh opportunity to be youth pastor to some of their kids, and taylor the oldest one,

right?

So here's the problem.

You, you get a child like taylor the first one, and then the next one comes.

You're like she'll just be like taylor.

Well, who was the next one.

Hayley was the next one.

Hayley, good kid.

I love Haley.

I loved her when I had her in youth, but she wasn't Taylor.

Right, if you're going to have one rascal, have them first, because then the next one comes along and they're just a little better and you're like, oh, they're really

good.

But not every kid's the same, right, how many of you know?

Not every child of God's the same, but they're all what, they're a blessing, they're heritage, but they have to be what Trained.

Because if you don't train your child I mean, how about this?

You ever had a dog?

What happens?

You don't train your dog and they'll bite people, they'll go to the bathroom, all over the place, they'll do all kinds of jump up on people.

No, a dog has to be trained.

And what's funny is a lot of people will be like well, you know, train a dog.

You don't want to.

If you talk to people that train dogs, they say the happiest dog is the trained dog.

Can I tell you something with children, the happiest children are those that have been trained.

Why?

Because training doesn't just have discipline, but it's discipline with

love.

When you give your children boundaries, as a father, as a mother, as a parent.

When you give your children boundaries, what are you telling them?

I care about you enough that I'm putting boundaries in your life.

I know you think that I'm just killing all your fun and I'm not letting you do anything, but there are boundaries in your life,

amen.

And so let's go over to first Thessalonians, chapter 2.

1 Thessalonians 2 · chapter mention

First Thessalonians 2.

I'm going to look at this in the passion translation.

First Thessalonians 2 in the passion, and we'll start in verse 11.

We're going to just look, look here for a moment about some things that God is as a father.

How many know God is our great example as our father.

So let me get over here.

1 Thessalonians 2 in the Passion, verse 11.

And it says and you know how affectionately we treated each one of you, like a loving father cares for his own children.

So the thing we see here is Paul's talking about the children that were there.

Paul looked at almost all the people where he started churches as he was their spiritual father and they were his children.

And he says we treated you how

Affectionately.

How many know you can be a masculine man and still be affectionate towards your children.

In fact, dads, especially dads of daughters, your daughters, need you to show them affection.

I saw this guy and he's an ex-football player and he's got a big podcast and he's not religious or Christian in any way as far as stuff he puts out, but he has all this stuff.

He's the dad of girls and he's got all this dad, girl stuff, gear like hats and t-shirts and stuff and he said dads, he goes as the father of girls.

He goes you're the first man she hugs, the first man she gives a kiss to, the first man she falls in love with.

Right, again, we're not talking about weird stuff, we're talking about godly, fatherly stuff.

He says you're that first man in her life.

Which means what?

If you want your daughter to grow up and have a husband that cares for her and is affectionate to her, you need to set that example of what a father is right, what a man is in her life.

And so he says you can be affectionate.

It's so interesting because people think of these things and think, ah, I'm no wimp, I'm no wuss, right, I don't show my feelings, no, you can be

masculine.

One of the most masculine people that we see in the Bible, that we often think about with masculinity, is David, and David killed giants.

David killed bears and lions with his bare hands.

He led troops into battles where they were outnumbered.

But you know what else he did?

He praised God, he played an instrument, he sang and worshiped, he danced before the Lord.

I know a lot of people look at that and they see they're like I don't think those two go together.

How could you be a worshiper and singing and yet you're killing stuff?

That's how God made you to be.

I said this first service and it wasn't in my notes, but I found it interesting and I know it was from the Holy

Spirit.

So if you look at the chromosomal makeup of men and women, so women are XX.

Those are their two chromosomes that determine that they're females.

Men are what XY.

Notice we both have what An X.

So men have the capacity to show affection, men have the capacity to love and do those things.

But yet we've also got that Y right, that masculine side of

us.

I used to take it as an insult when I was a kid.

People used to say oh, lil CF, he's just so tenderhearted.

I'd be like no, I'm not, it's okay, you're just kind of sensitive.

I'm not sensitive.

There's nothing wrong with that.

But there's got to be a balance in all those

things.

We understand that so often, men, we go so far on the other side that we don't want to be considered gentle.

Oh, he's a gentle man.

I'm not either.

I'm rough and tough.

No, that can be a part of us.

That's who God created you to be

right.

So we get back here, right, and it says and you know how affectionately we treated each one of you.

What's he say?

Like a loving father cares for his children, right, a loving father.

Now look at verse 12.

He says we comforted and encouraged you and then challenged you to adopt a lifestyle worthy of God, who invites you into his kingdom and glory.

So what does a loving father do?

He shows affection, he shows comfort, he shows encouragement.

Dads, we can encourage our kids.

He shows comfort.

He shows encouragement.

Dads, we can encourage our kids.

He also challenges them.

That's part of being a father.

We challenge them because we want them to live up to that

challenge.

But so often we as men, we're so thoughtful.

As a man and I know the women here maybe don't get this the way you men will.

The women here maybe don't get this the way you men will I'm so concerned right when I push, when the baby, the child, has to be pushed out of the nest.

I'm so concerned that the world, what the world's going to do to them, that I want to make sure they're fully prepared.

And so sometimes we put so much pressure on them and so much pressure on ourselves because we don't want the world to just chew them up and spit them out.

And so sometimes we put expectations on our children that they can never meet, and there's no mercy and there's no grace and we're demanding perfection from them that they could never meet.

I know there's only one perfect that ever walked this earth.

His name was Jesus

Christ.

My mom one time stopped me and I've shared this story before and she told me I was out helping her do something.

She said CF.

And Bo was little Like three or four years old Younger.

And she said, cf, you're too hard on him.

She goes, you expect him to be perfect and he never will be.

And those words upset me.

I thought well, who are you to tell me that you used to use willow switches on me?

Wash our mouths out with soap if we talked back?

And you're telling me I'm too hard on?

A kid Chased me through the house with a fly swatter one time and I'm too hard.

But then I got in my car and I started to drive home and the Holy Spirit just spoke to my heart and he said your mother's right.

And I started to drive home and the Holy Spirit just spoke to my heart and he said your mother's right.

And so I've learned that

lesson.

But can I tell you, sometimes I still slip into that, probably more with him than I do the girls, because I probably have a little less mercy on him than I do them because they're girls.

You can say I'm sexist.

You can say whatever, it's a tendency, probably in me.

But you know what my thought is.

He's 20 years old.

I was 16 when my dad passed away.

I had to grow up pretty quick.

I wish I would have known my dad when I was an adult.

Like I think of some of the times that he and I spend together and some conversations we can have now that he's 20 that I never had with my dad.

But I've got to learn mercy, I've got to learn grace With him.

But guess what?

Men with yourself, you're not going to be a perfect dad.

You're not going to be a perfect husband.

You're not going to be a perfect

man.

The Bible says God is so full of mercy, he's so full of grace, he's so full of loving kindness, he's patient, he's long-suffering.

I know God's called us to be that kind of parent to our children.

I like that the Bible uses that term, long-suffering, when it's really referring to patience.

So what's that telling us?

There's going to be some times of suffer to let your

kids.

I'm thankful for my wife Nicole, because if I didn't have my wife, we balance each other.

I did Gracie and wife Nicole, because if I didn't have my wife, we balance each other.

I did Gracie and Andrew's marriage yesterday and I talked about when God brings people together, it's not based on their strengths, necessarily, or similarities.

It's based on their differences, to balance each other out Right.

And because I grew up the way I did with my mom and I tended to be a lot like her and I look, my kids would have to meet a spouse that would cut their meat if it was up to me, like they'd be like five, six years old, I'm like, okay, I got this.

Nicole's like let them learn to cut their own meat, sia.

I'm like I don't know, it just goes quicker that way.

If I cut it

right.

I had to learn to be long-suffering.

Let my kids do things.

You ever ask your kid to do something simple, like a task, but they're so little they could barely do it.

And you're just like I could do this in 10 seconds.

I've been watching you try to tie your shoes for 10 minutes.

Let's just get Velcro, let's just get a slip-on, but no, you've got to be long-suffering.

Why?

Because guess what, at some point they're going to go to college and they can't ask their roommate.

Can you tie my shoes?

What I never learned my dad always did for me Go out on their first date, right?

Maybe the girl they're going to marry go to a nice steakhouse.

He shoves his plate over towards her.

Could you cut my meat for me?

My parents never taught me how to do that.

No, we've got to be long-suffering, we've got to be full of mercy and

grace.

I'm going to close with this.

I want to encourage you in this because I want to get you dads out so you can get a good lunch here.

But I want to encourage you in this Everything.

But I want to encourage you in this Everything that God is is our Father.

Those are the attributes that he wants us to be Merciful and gracious and loving and kind, but also strong, right, a protector, a provider.

But the thing is, god doesn't call you to do all those things.

Absent of Him, you're not the lone provider, the lone protector for your family.

God will use you to do those things, but let Him work through you and show you how to do those things.

Let Him be that to you as the man, because I think so many times we men put so much pressure on ourselves to provide, to protect, to do these things that we work ourselves to death, we work ourselves to an early grave.

We get so busy, we're not with our family because we think that's what I'm called to do.

This is what a man is.

Don't let the world tell you what a man is.

Don't let the world tell you what a father is.

Don't let the world tell you what a husband is.

You let the Word of God tell you who you are.

Amen.

You are who God said you are, and that is all these things we talked about today.

Your children are a gift and dads, you're a gift to your children and to your family.

Amen.

Praise the Lord man.

We so appreciate all the men in this church.

I am

blessed.

When we came here 23 years ago, there were six people that actively, faithfully came to this church.

They all sit in this section right over here.

And out of those six people there was one man, and we went quite a while with only one man in the church Max Finley.

Max Finley had a heart for God.

Let me tell you about Max Finley.

Max Finley never married, never had a family of his own, but he loved

Jesus.

And Max grew up just on the hill just past the cemetery, the next gravel that goes back north.

He grew up back there and his mom died when he was young and his dad moved the family to New Hampton to be closer to town.

And so, max, this was his home church, lone Star was his home.

Max was like 13 years old and every Sunday you know what he did he walked from New Hampton all the way to Lone Star to church and then he walked home.

If no one gave him a ride 13 years old Right, my 12-year-old won't walk across the room to put more food in the dog dish.

Some days this guy was walking all the way out from New Hampton.

I mean, if you go back that way, drive to Hampton and think about walking home that

way.

And I look at him and the thing I learned from Max again, he was never father, never dad.

He had a nephew that he helped raise.

He loved Jesus and everyone that was around Max knew he loved Jesus.

He loved the word.

He would read through the Bible eight to 10 times every single year.

That's what we want our kids to see.

That's what we want people to see.

What my dad loves Jesus, my dad loves my mom, my dad loves me In that order.

Amen about us.

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