Godly Leadership Cares About Its Witness (1 Tim 3:2, Titus 1:7-8) | Pastor Rod Gomez

So a good design, something that captures attention and communicates

the message well, is often, oh, thank you, is often, uh, compelling.

There's something about good design that causes us to take notice

and say, oh, that's interesting.

Um, but other times, ads or some kind of communication, some kind

of design can actually go astray.

It can, uh, do the opposite of what you're intending to do.

Instead of communicating a clear message, it can fuddle

the message and creates issues.

For instance, uh, maybe you're Lisa Jackson who wrote her first novel.

Wanted to be sure that everybody saw how good this novel was and saw your name.

So she puts her name like this and so the rest of it seem to send a message.

You don't wanna send.

We don't think she deserves to die.

Hope she doesn't either.

Whoever her cover designer was, needs to be let go.

Not appropriate.

Or maybe you're an aspiring photographer and you really want to communicate

that the future is bright and exciting and people ought to use your

photography for that very purpose.

And so maybe you put out an ad like this.

Look to the future.

You're walking on the railroad tracks and you see a bright lights.

You ought to get off, Joan.

It's not gonna be, not gonna be a good design.

Or maybe you're selling, uh, I thought about you, Mike Cleman,

when I saw this next one here.

Maybe you're selling your new padded cycling underwear.

You wanna show how breathable they are,

maybe you do a little air next to the rear end

to just show how, how obvious it is that these guys breathe sheep

with,

not just,

uh, good design.

When done right, communicates a clear message, but sometimes.

Design can send the wrong message because somebody simply overlooks

something that is pretty obvious to almost everybody else.

And I wonder if you're doing that in your life now, maybe you are sending

the wrong message too, because you've been overlooking some pretty clear

areas or some areas that often are just assumed but not inspected.

And maybe you're, you're going about your life and you're, you're not really

considering these three critical areas that are, again, often overlooked.

That will ultimately result in God's glory.

And as a man of God, you should be concerned ultimately for God's glory, and

that means that you have to get practical attention to how you conduct yourself.

In means three again, often overlooked areas.

My title for this sermon is that a godly, uh, rather, rather godly

leadership cares about its witness.

Godly leadership is rightly concerned with how it's perceived, uh, among

not only the watching world, but even your family, your church.

There's a, there's a sense in which we're thinking about how

other people are thinking about us.

Now, before we get into, by way of recap, I wanna remind you that we're

talking about the Office of Overseer.

And as we've noticed before, or at least, uh, two, two times ago, we

noticed that the Office of Overseer is really synonymous with these three

categories, overseer, elder, and Shepherd.

They're used interchangeably, therefore, synonymously throughout

the New Testament as, as offices that really speak to one office, the man

who is a leader within the church.

And we said to you, the reason that you need to know about this

is because the, the leaders are leading in order to be followed.

They're meant to have these qualities so that the men of the church and the

women as well, the children included, also display this same quality.

So the leadership that we're talking about is meant to be reflected

in the congregation at large.

The reason that we're talking about it with you this, this season, is

because we want you to know what these qualifications are because we want you

to aspire to them even if you never.

Have a formal role of pastor or teach you or elder at a congregation or a church.

Uh, but as one of you brothers once said to me, I may not ever be an elder,

but I want to be elder qualified.

And I think I, I think I could resonate with that for, for not only myself, that

was always my goal, but I'd like for all of us as a church to have this goal.

I, I wanna make one more observation here as we enter into our text.

First Timothy chapter three, verse two.

And it's be, before we jump into the, the part that we're gonna look at today,

I wanna remind you in, in verse two that it says that someone who's aspiring

to this office must be, must be the, the word is day, DEI, in the Greek.

And the word conveys a need.

It has to be this way.

Don't let yourself, uh, put a, put a, an elder or a pastor, or a

shepherd or an overseer in place who does not possess these qualities.

So this is part of what you're looking for, not only in yourself, but also

for any church that you ever go to.

Should the Lord keep you here at this church, this is what

we hope every pastor reflects.

Every leader that you follow must have these qualifications.

If he doesn't, he should not be in leadership.

So if you ever go to a different church and you're looking to discern

whether or not you want to join that congregation of believers, this

is something that you should say.

Do I see the evidence of these qualities in the pastors?

Do they possess this kind of leadership?

And ultimately, what we, why we care about this is because it reflects God's glory.

It's also gonna mean a strong church for us.

If your pastors look like this, and if the men of the church are all men of,

uh, high caliber who look like this, we're gonna have an incredibly strong

church who does incredibly good work for the incredible glory of Christ.

That's what this is all about.

This is why we're talking about it.

This is why it's important for us.

You may may not say, I'll never be a pastor, I'll never be a teacher

in the church, but this is still important for us, for all the

reasons that I just stipulated today.

We're looking at three more qualities.

We're gonna look at three qualities that, again, I think are often just,

they're assumed and not inspected.

The first one that we're gonna look at here is found in verse two.

Let's read verse two Together.

As we see what these qualities are, we'll be reminded of

what we've co covered so far.

And now, uh, look at the next, the next set, verse two.

Therefore, an overseer must be above reproach.

That's gonna encompass really the whole lot of that, of the, the

qualities that we're going to see.

He must be the husband of one wife.

He's faithful to his one bride.

He is sober minded.

He thinks carefully and critically about himself and the world around him.

He's self controlled.

He's not given over to, uh, a lack of restraint.

And here's the three that we're gonna look at today.

He's respectable.

He's hospitable, and he's able to teach respectable, hospitable, able to teach.

Paul actually uses this word only twice in his letters.

Respectable.

Uh, the first place that he uses it is actually gonna be just a few verses before

when he is talking about the kind, uh, of adornments that a woman should possess.

He says that a woman should, likewise, rather likewise, also, that women should

adorn themselves, dress themselves, conduct themselves in respectable apparel.

Sometimes we, as, as Nan, will talk about, are either to our daughters

or to our wives that we want to dress conservatively or we, we want you to have.

Kind of apparel that doesn't reveal too much.

Uh, Paul doesn't say conservative, he says respectable.

Now, you could obviously draw conclusions for yourself and say,

well, they're kind of synonymous.

But Paul's talking about a kind of comportment that conveys dignity,

a respectable apparel, and he says, with modesty and self-control, and

not with braided hair or, and gold and or pearls or costly attire.

He's saying that the way that you dress yourself should be a lot more,

given a lot more attention to the inner person as opposed to the outer person.

Um, what does the word respectable mean then?

The war itself.

I love the way that David Mathis puts it, and I, I just thought

his definition was so helpful.

I'm gonna give it to you at length and we'll read it together here.

Take a look at your screen and we'll just, we'll just go through this.

I think his definition covers it.

'cause I, I've looked at this of lexicons and dictionaries that kind of

get the sense of what the word means, and I think he covers it the best.

Here's what he says, the concept of an orderly life, that's

actually what respectable means.

The word is cosmos, which if you can listen to it, cosmos

sounds a lot like cosmos.

And we think that those words are in fact related cosmos.

God's orderly creation as he designed it, is reflected in a respectable life.

And so he says here the concept of an orderly life that puts others

at ease and engenders trust.

That's what respectable is.

In other words, it's to help others take you seriously, for Jesus' sake.

I love that line.

Respectable demeanor helps others take you seriously.

For the sake of Christ.

You don't want people to think that you're only a huckster or a jokester, or

that you're just a, a, a big man and a child or a big boy in a, in a man's body.

It's having others, uh, helping others take us seriously.

For Jesus' sake.

He continues, um, to present yourself as worthy of respect, carrying with it

a sense of seriousness or holy dignity.

He's noble, he's esteemed, admirable, not being frivolous or crass or

indecent, respectable then, and here's, here's an important feature

for us as we pay attention to this.

Respectable then is irreducibly external.

That means we're looking only on the outside of your life.

That's all we have to work on.

I can't see your heart, but I can see what your heart produces

in the externals of your life.

Uh, it refers to a person's outward, deportment, or outward appearance.

So critical because when we look at this word and affect all of these

qualities of elders are external.

What we, no one can see anyone's heart, but what we can see

is how you live your life.

We can see the fruit of your, of your conversion.

We can see how you talk, how you walk, what you do.

That's all we have access to.

And Paul assumes that without having access to someone's heart, that

you can make a judgment whether or not they're respectable, which must

mean then that what we're looking at when we look at our respectability

is that we're looking at the, the conduct of the entirety of our lives.

We're looking at all the parts and putting them together to forge a picture about

ourselves because whether or not we know it, this is what people are doing for us.

People look at you all the time and they make guesses about who you are

and what you believe, and, uh, you know, based on the car you drive, what

kind of personality you might have.

Even people are just looking at these things.

What's your hair look like?

What does your breath smell like?

You know, what kind of glasses do you wear?

What do your shoes look like?

Everyone just, uh, women are especially good at this, but men do

it too, maybe to a lesser extent.

Maybe we do it subconsciously.

We're not deliberately looking at certain aspects of your features and saying,

well, this guy is this or this guy is that, unless there's some kind of obvious

personality quirk that stands out.

Otherwise, we do it much more intuitively.

We can feel the, the, the man women may look at all the features that I

mentioned, the hair, the, you know, fingernails and all those things.

Uh, but obviously Paul intends for us to look at the respectability of a person and

make a, a guess or a judgment about that.

We think about the word respect.

It actually has a really close synonym.

It's called, it's the word is enos, and the word means dignified.

Paul uses this terminology again, not only for the leaders, but also for the,

the deacons, the deacons, and the women.

He says this in one Timothy three, eight deacons.

That is the servant leaders in the church, uh, likewise, must be dignified Enos, not

double tongue, not addicted to much wine.

They're not greedy for dishonest gain.

He says their wives or the women, if they're female deacons, they

also likewise, should be dignified.

They conduct themselves with dignity and respectability.

People look at them and say, they're worthy of my admiration and attention.

He says about older men and the older men in the room.

He says, older men are to be sober minded, dignified, uh, older men are.

To have the kind of comportment that says, look, I've lived a long life.

I've lived a good life, and God has dealt with me, and here,

here's the product of that.

He's not boasting about it, but the evidence of his dignity is seen.

It's visible.

It's something that other people can notice.

By just looking at the man and making a guess about his life.

An educated guest to be sure.

So a respectable and dignified man lives so that others can

visibly see his character.

He's aware of this.

A godly man is concerned about his witness, the way

that the world looks at him.

Now, obviously there's a way to go wrong on this, but let's just talk about the

way that it goes, right When a godly man cares about this, when he thinks about

his respectability before people, uh, he is, uh, caring about his character.

In an authentic and purposeful way.

He's purposefully putting things on display because he wants people to

see what God's grace has done in him.

This is not meant to boast about where he is as opposed to others.

I'm better than you.

I'm taller than you.

I do, I make more money than This is not about that, but this is about

what Paul says, the tightest, um, as he's instructing the slaves, the

bond servants in his congregation.

In, in, uh, Ephesus.

No, Titus is in Ephesus.

Um, Crete.

Crete.

Thank you.

Titus is told to tell his bond servants on Crete.

Uh, this is how you, you're to conduct yourselves.

You're to not be pilfering, you're not to, you know, cut stuff off the top,

take extra that you're not supposed to.

He says, instead, you ought to live your life in such a way that you may adorn.

This is the same word that we saw previously with the way that women dress

themselves adorn the doctrine of God our savior, which is to say that the goal

of a servant's life is to make something else look beautiful in your life.

Point number one, I think you ought to make the gospel look beautiful.

Make the gospel look good with your life.

This ought to be the way that you conceive of yourself as you go about your day to

day when you're making decisions about how to dress or how you drive, or even,

you know, how you conduct yourself in the office, or whether you're playing

with your kids or dating your wife.

You're thinking about, I mean, just deliberately again,

authentic, authentically.

To be sure this isn't, this isn't putting on a show, but authentically in purposely

saying, I want to make sure that the gospel looks beautiful in my life.

This is what respectability does for us.

This is how respectability benefits us because it, it sh it says to others,

it's a megaphone to say, look, my life is lived on purpose for the glory

of another, and I want you to see my master as being exceedingly good and

exceedingly wise and exceedingly worthy.

We do that by how we present ourselves to others.

Again, if you think about the advertisements, we're

trying to make sure that the advertisement matches the message.

What's the message?

I'm a sinner who's been bought by grace.

I've been saved, I've been redeemed, I've been made alive in Christ,

and now my life looks fundamentally different because of that.

If you've ever noticed the, the Mormons probably once or twice, right?

They've come to your door a few times.

These young men and often young women, not all the time, but a lot of young men, they

just come with a certain, a certain vibe.

I know Pastor Pge doesn't like when we use that word, um, they come

with a certain air, a a certain.

A a certain kind of feeling.

And part of that is the way that they dress themselves.

You can notice them anywhere you go.

You go to the grocery store, you see them with their name tags,

you know, elder so-and-so, and I mean, these guys are boys.

I don't like calling 'em elder, but I'll use their vernacular to connect with them.

But they come with a certain kind of dignity, a certain kind of respectability,

and they do that on purpose.

In fact, one thing you may not know about the Mormons is that they

basically, when they go out on their two year mission, young men, they

are given a missionary handbook that guides almost everything that they do.

Down to the very details.

Take a look under the missionary handbook in section 4.9.

I just thank you and stepped on the cable here.

It says this, uh, and as an authorized representative of Jesus Christ in his

restored church, your appearance is often the first message others receive.

It should be consistent with the sacred message you are called to

share throughout your mission.

Make sure that your appearance and behavior help others

focus on that message.

That's your summary statements.

But as you dig down, you notice that it has very real practical application.

Here's how they, how they talk about it.

Uh, you should be neat and clean.

You should bathe, uh, daily.

The fact that they're telling young men that I think is evidence of awareness

that some men need to be told that.

Wear sunscreen, wash your hair frequently.

Choose a neat conservative hairstyle.

Elders should be clean shaven.

That means no sideburns, that's why they're always looking good

on the, on their faces anyway.

It makes 'em look more like boys and less like men sometimes, uh, for sisters

nail polish and pick up are optional.

Um, but they, they carry on.

Let's talk about clothing here.

Their clothing shouldn't be too tight or too loose.

It should not be transparent, revealing, or distracting.

It should be clean and good repair, free of wrinkles, be durable, easy to care for,

and should easily fit into your luggage.

Man, and it goes on, I, I haven't even scratched the surface.

Of how clear and how particular they are about the kind of representation

that they have for their Mormon church.

Now, I bring them up, obviously not because I agree with their theology.

Let's all agree that the Mormon theology is rotten and condemnable

and it won't do you any good.

But they do have a healthy understanding where they have rotten theology.

They have a healthy understanding that how do you carry yourself

reinforces or undermines the message that you claim to bring.

So I commend them for their shrewdness.

I condemn them for their theology.

Again, it's aberrant, it's awful.

But they're, they're thinking wisely about this.

And we ought to do the same.

And I wanna have you consider at least three areas where you should

ask yourself, am I conveying respectability in these three areas?

Here they are.

All three on the screen for you.

Your words, your works in your witness.

If you, as you consider, uh, whether or not, so you're presenting the right

message, I'd love for you to think about your words, your works, and your witness.

How about your words for a second here?

One of the things that I often easily do, I don't have to think about it.

It just flows outta my mouth, is complain.

I can complain about Preston Road, I can complain about the weather.

I can complain about almost anything.

I don't need a reason to complain.

I'm so good at it.

I could complain to you right now if I wanted to.

Easy, which means I have to be especially good at not letting that happen.

How are you with that?

One of the sins of commission that we might commit that others can easily hear

and either be attracted to or repulsed by is whether or not our words are edifying.

Ephesians chapter four says that we ought to have words that build

up, uh, one of the words that don't build up is complaining.

How's your, how's your mouth in terms of your, your complaining?

How about this?

Here's another sin of commission here.

Do you indulge?

In course joking.

Is there any part of you where you either laugh at, or laugh with, or even land a

joke here and there that is really funny, but perhaps course biblically defined?

How about this one?

Do you ask for forgiveness when you sin?

That's a sin of omission.

A time where we should ask for forgiveness.

We've sinned against our wives, our friends, our kids, and, and we just,

uh, you know, use our, our position of authority and say, well, I make mistakes

too, don't we All, after all, um, do you ask for forgiveness when you sin?

Uh, these are areas where people will notice your respectable words.

Uh, they'll notice that you use your words judiciously, that you're wise in how you

deliver them, that you're thinking about.

How your words affect others.

Respectable words.

How about your works?

Um, do you follow through on your word?

When you give your word to somebody and you tell them, I'll be there at this

time, are you there at that time or are you the kind of person who maybe

finds a good reason to say, oh, man, I know I, I committed, but I, I won't.

I can't, and so I'm gonna find a way to get out of it.

Or are you the kind of man that follows through?

Are you faithful to your word?

Are you respectable?

Even though.

This is where it gets tricky here, even though you might commit to

something and it's like, oh man, I didn't realize that that was on

the same day as this other thing.

Well, now I'm in a bind.

I either should go to the thing over here that's really important that I go

to or I break my word, which do I do?

And that's a very sticky situation to be in.

But I think the default for the Gandhi man, who's respectable, he said,

I'm gonna be faithful to my word.

I mean what I say.

Say what I mean.

Even if it costs me and perhaps especially if it costs me, because

that's when it really matters.

Respectable works.

Do you come to mind when people need to get things done?

I think this is a good one to ask.

Am I one of the people that people think about when they say, I need

to get this project done, I need to get this situation completed.

Um, who, who's reliable?

Who can I trust that if I call them, they're gonna get it done?

For sure.

If you come to mind when someone's thinking about how do we get

things done, that's a good sign.

It's not a perfect sign, but it's a really good sign.

Uh, you're responsible.

Your respectable work are that you are totally responsible.

If someone gives you a task, it's gonna be done on time, on budget,

and no one has to think twice about it because you're responsible.

Lastly, how about your witness?

Uh, here, here's something that I've been, that God's been working on me

with, but just something to keep in mind again, as we're thinking about the,

the, the respectability is external.

People can't see your heart, but they can see everything else.

Um, do you conduct your life in such a way that people can say there's

something different about Bob.

There's something different about John, there's something different about Tom.

Uh, do you, do you present yourself with these, with a,

with a sense of differentiation, appropriate differentiation?

Here, here's a good question.

Do your neighbors like having you near them, do your neighbors like

the fact that you are in their neighborhood, you clean up your lawn,

or you know, you don't, you don't park your cars six feet into the street.

You're, you're next to the thing, now you clean up trash

that's in front of your driveway.

I mean, you're the kind of person who's courteous and thoughtful.

They appreciate having you because when they look at their ring

cams, they see you acting in ways that are just so above reproach.

Do your neighbors like having you near them, can they see by

your life that you just do things that a lot of people don't do?

Um, do you dress only for comfort or with others in mind?

Do you consider how the way that you dress affects or impacts

the way others think about you?

Respectability is is inherently external, so obviously all these

things could be done in ways that are, again, deceitful or underhanded.

That can be done in, in a way where you're just trying to be eff affectatious.

I want you just to think a certain way about me.

So I'm gonna pretend to be that that's not what I'm talking about.

A man's heart who has been transformed by God does these things with the awareness

that I, I'm doing this unto the Lord as a way to say, I care about my Jesus.

I care about his reputation.

I'm an ambassador for Christ, and therefore, the way that I use my words,

the way that I do my work and the way that I conduct my witness are all on purpose.

They're intentional displays of God's glory.

So what God that leaders his respectable.

Lives his life to make the gospel look good.

And that's what I'm encouraging you to think about.

Uh, what else can you do where, I mean, some of you guys, lemme

just say this, I think you guys do really well as far as we can tell.

As your pastor, I just, I think you guys do really well in these areas.

A question for you then is where can you excel?

Where does God want you to consider even more?

What's the next step for you?

And maybe you're great at conducting your words.

Well, maybe you need to be better at edifying and encouraging,

deploying words of exhortation.

Nevertheless, uh, God the leader.

As someone who wants to make the gospel look good with his life.

That's what a qualified leader does.

That's what a gly man does.

Um, and on top of that though, he's also gotta consider how others experience

his life in leadership in one of the most intimate places that he has.

And this is where it gets a bit challenging 'cause we're

gonna get into your kitchen in this case, quite literally.

Uh, your home.

Let's talk about your home.

First Timothy chapter three, verse two.

In Titus one, Adrian, look at these two passages.

They work in parallel.

Let's see what he has to say here.

And quite simple.

Let's go back to one Timothy three.

He says this in verse two.

Therefore, an overseer must be above reproach.

He must be the husband of one wife.

He must be sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, and hospitable.

There's our word verse Timothy three, two, hospitable and

able to teach Titus one, seven.

And they don't want you to see both of these passages because they actually

work together to fill out the picture.

Uh, here's Titus one, seven and eight.

For an overseer, as God's steward must be above reproach, here's what he

should not be, shouldn't be arrogant or quick tempered, or a drunkard.

Or violence or greedy for gain.

Notice the contrasting conjunctive here, but that is in contrast

to all of these qualities.

But he should be hospitable.

And then he says, A lover of good, self-controlled,

upright, holy, and discipline.

But I think this is important because that contrasting word that,

but tells us that hospitable stands in conjunction or rather, uh, in

contrast to these other things.

It is hospitality in some way is the opposite of arrogance.

It's the opposite of being quick-tempered.

It's the opposite of being a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain.

And probably particularly the greedy for gain.

'cause hospitality by its very nature, is giving, it's being generous with people.

The word itself, hospitality is a com is a compound word, uh,

compound word in Greek here.

Uh, sometimes it's not helpful.

Uh, sometimes it is.

And I think in this particular case, it actually is helpful for you to

understand what the word means.

Uh, pheno orus.

There's a couple, there's a couple ways that the word

appears in the New Testament.

The word literally means love.

Strangers.

A lover of strangers, a person who cares about the stranger.

And the word translates into our language as hospitality.

Someone who is hospitable and there's probably no better testing ground

for a man's character than his home.

This is where you see everything, right?

This is dirty laundry.

You see, you know what his kitchen floor looks like.

You see what he's got in his refrigerator.

You see how he lives with his kids or his wife.

You see whether or not he's aggressive with them or heavy handed.

You see just so much about him.

You see what he puts on the wall, what does he care about or

what his wife put on the wall.

Most of the time you see a a lot of things.

What does his garage look like?

Does he sweep his garage?

You know, what does his real life look like?

This is where you get a sense of the man's real life.

And again, just to remind you, even though this is a qualification for an elder,

pastor, overseer, uh, Paul and Peter both, and the author of Hebrews, whoever he is.

All unanimously, unanimously agree that this should be evidence in the church.

One Peter four, nine says, it should be evidence without

grumbling show hospitality, but don't be a grumbler about it.

Okay, I guess we're gonna have the yangs over.

Here we go again.

Don't do that.

Peter says one Peter four, nine.

Paul says in Romans 1213 that we should seek to show hospitality to the saints.

And I'm looking for opportunities to invite Christian friends over

'cause I wanna show love to them.

Uh, Hebrews 13, two says, don't neglect to show hospitality.

Don't, don't let it fall by the wayside because you're busy.

So again, this is one of those things that is.

Meant to be, uh, demonstrated by the leader, but evidenced also in the body.

So let's talk about hospitality.

Uh, first of all, your, your home.

Then as you conceive of it, you have to remember, it is not your

home only for private purposes is not your own, uh, private fortress.

It is actually a place that is meant to be a ministry outpost.

So let's put it like this.

Number two exploits your home for ministry opportunities.

Notice I put home, I didn't put house and I put apartments, and I put condo.

I put home.

Home is a lot of places, right home could be a, a small place, a crammed apartment.

Uh, it could also be a, a large estate where you have lots of land

to share, uh, exploit your home, your home, whatever God has given you.

Whatever the stewardship is that he's, he's provided for you, that

that ought to be the thing that you say, okay, how do I best use this?

And it may mean that you can't host a men's event 'cause

your house isn't big enough.

That's okay.

But it does mean that there is something you can do.

What is the thing that you can do?

We have to admit that our Western culture is just not super great at this.

I think we as a church do really well.

I've been over to several of your homes and I'm tremendously thankful for that.

You guys are so good at that.

Now, pastor P does a great example of this.

I think he, he's often having people over and does, he does lots of

things like this, but by and large western culture isn't great at it.

My eastern neighbors though, their neighbors right across the

street from us, they're an Indian couple, south Asian, I guess we're

being politically correct here.

Um, south Asian couple.

Uh, they had us over a couple months ago, several months ago now, and.

It was one of the coolest experiences of my life.

'cause I'd never been to an Indian family's household.

And these guys are legit Indians.

And one of the, one of the things that stood out, first thing we

walked in, walk in the door.

Um, yeah, yeah.

Come in.

So first of all, we showed up on time.

That was a big mistake.

They weren't right for us.

You're not supposed to show up on time if you're South Asian.

Neighbors who are genuine South Asian don't show up on time.

That was mistake number one.

But after we go in, the first thing he shows us is his altar.

With his gods and he's, oh yeah, here, here, this is my altar.

I, we pray, we pray at this every morning.

And, and it's a legit altar.

It's a biblical altar.

It's one of those things that you say, oh, this is, this is

what the Bible is talking about.

Legitimately the thing you should not do.

And it's in a prominent place in his house.

So he is, he is got this, it's got his altar, and then he literally

take us to every room in their house.

Here's our closet.

This is our bedroom.

And there, and here's here was the best and, and probably most

lovable thing that they did.

They took us into their master bedroom, which was kind of a wreck.

I just thought, man, I, I'm, so, I'd be concerned about that.

I showed someone in the master bedroom and there's things on the floor, you know,

clothes on the, on the, on the dresser.

I would just be mortified.

'cause I think that doesn't look what do, and Bendu had no shame.

They like, this is our house.

Here's, here's our kids' room, here's our room.

You know, and they got all the stuff out.

Um, and another notice that, another note that I made was

that they had gods all over.

I kept on asking, which God is that?

Oh, which God is that?

Oh, that's the God I'm named after Ali says, oh, what God is that?

And they just kept on going.

Their, their, their religion was all over their home and their hospitality

made their religion something, uh, something to be reckoned with.

Their hospitality was so far above my own that I was ashamed.

Honestly, I was, I'm, I'm still ashamed as I think about it.

Recall that in my mind, I wanna have them over.

More and say, let me just, let me try to reach your level.

But I just think, and I, I don't feel like I'm even in the same ballpark now.

We have a long way to go, but there's, there's lots of good

things that we can benefit from.

And I, I'm not saying that no one expects you guys to go from zero to 100 overnight.

We all have, we all have our reasons, but I do wanna show you that it

actually is quite powerful in her book.

Um, the Secret Thoughts of An Unlikely Convert.

Rosaria Butterfield has this experience with a pastor that because of his

hospitality, it really changed.

Her willingness to receive the gospel as something genuine, as

something, not put something obvious that could be, could be received.

Here's what she says, and I'm just gonna read it at length.

There's two paragraphs, but it's worth it.

Here's what she says.

Ken and Floyd, he's a pastor.

Pastor Ken and Floyd, his wife did something at the meal that

has a long Christian history.

They invited the stranger in, not to scapegoat me, but to listen

and to learn and to dialogue.

We didn't debate worldview.

They were willing to walk the long journey to me in Christian compassion.

During our meal, they did not share the gospel with me after our meal.

They did not invite me to church.

And we can debate about some of those things because of these glaring

omissions to the Christian script as I had come to know it when the evening

ended and Pastor Ken said he wanted to stay in touch, I knew that it was

truly safe to accept his open hand.

Since this beginning, the journey on which the Lord has taken me has

been a great adventure, and the simple meal in a pastor's home was

the first leg of this journey before I ever stepped foot in a church.

I spent two years meeting with Ken and Floyd.

On and off studying scripture in my heart, uh, studying scripture and my heart.

She says, Ken knew at the time that I couldn't come to church.

It would've been too threatening, too weird, too much.

So Ken was willing to bring the church to me.

So Rosaria Butterfield, if you don't know her, is a force to be reckoned

with in her current conservative church.

She's, she writes lots of great works.

Most recently, uh, she's written about lies that the church

believes it does good work.

And God used hospitality to reach her heart in ways that maybe a lot

of other things would not have.

Hospitality all over the scriptures.

Um, let's add add a quick clarification.

Quick clarification.

Um, gender, hospitality, the word has been co-opted and applied to something

that should not be put together.

Gender hospitality is something you should not do.

Um, I'm convicted about that.

I don't think that's a good decision for us as a Christian, I understand

that you're trying to preserve the relationship, uh, but far better for you

simply to use their name than to use their preferred pronouns when you know that

their pronouns don't match their gender.

Gender, hospitality, not a thing, but Christian hospitality, having people

in your home, that's a great thing.

Now let's, let's just be honest here.

There are at least four obstacles that prevent us from saying, I

wanna have people in my home.

There's at least four, and I'm just gonna briefly touch on them 'cause I know

that we could add several more to this.

Let's talk about busyness.

This is the one that I think you guys are most likely gonna

say we're busy, and I get that.

My simple response to that is if scripture's calling you to do it, if it's

a biblical command, if it's something that we should aspire to as a church.

We ought to just schedule it, start small and, and not, not look at your

Christian neighbor or look at pastor pj or look at, you know, anyone else and

say, well, I can't do it as much as they are, so certainly I shouldn't do it then.

No, start small.

It doesn't have to be, uh, a, a herculean effort, but it should

be, uh, one way or another.

It should be, maybe it is having your, your, you know, the, the Mormon

missionaries who come to your door.

Maybe it is having them inside.

Giving them a meal off the cuff.

Oh, I have time.

These two nice gentlemen are at the door.

These two young ladies are at the door.

Maybe I have them in and I have a meal with them, and I help, help

teach them what true Christianity is.

Have a an honest conversation.

So don't let busyness prevent you from doing God's will.

We could use that really for a lot of things.

And maybe that's, uh, maybe the season for you isn't right.

That's a possibility too.

But I leave that between you and your Lord to discern that, uh,

the Lord does expect it of us.

And the question is whether or not, we'll, we'll make it a priority.

Even if it's not particularly convenient.

And of course that's what most of God's food is for us, right?

It's not always convenient, but it's what he calls us too.

So don't let busyness be a hiccup.

Number two, perfectionism.

I feel this one, I don't like having a home that's less than neat.

Maybe you feel the same.

Um, but here, here's something that God continues to teach me.

And I'm not saying this is the Holy Spirit talking to me, but it sure feels

like it's sometimes get over yourself.

Get over yourself.

Um, people appreciate authenticity.

I, again, I, I, I fell in love with my neighbors after I saw

their, their, their, their bed.

It's like, okay, these are these, this is the real deal.

They're not putting on errors, they're not putting on a show.

I, I, I loved it and I, I think you ought to take it in stride and understand

that people feel the same way about you.

More than likely finances.

It might be another reason that we use, it's expensive to host people.

You know, it costs money to buy these resources.

Uh, you can do it on the sheet.

Rice and beans are perfectly fine, and if you're ashamed about that.

We're probably ashamed about the wrong things.

We should rather be ashamed of not loving people than we are ashamed

of the meal that we serve, the people that we're trying to love.

I said, don't, don't be concerned about that.

Don't let that be the thing that hinders you from loving your neighbors and loving

your Christian brothers and sisters.

You can do this on the sheet.

Lastly, this was just an, uh, potential, but rejection.

The act, uh, the act of opening your home is really, again, intimate.

You're opening your heart, you're opening your life to people, and if

they say no or they can't, or they don't like you after they just, they come

into your home, they decide not to.

Hang out with you after that.

That's okay.

The act of hospitality is valuable in and of itself.

Trust God with that.

And if you lose friends because of that, that's okay.

Let the Lord handle those consequences.

So a Godly leader cares about God's priorities.

Even when they're at odds with his comfort and convenience, they, he

cares about how people see him.

He wants his neighbors to see that he's a hospitable man because he's

been welcomed by a hospitable God.

He cares that his, his, uh, neighbors, he cares that his family, his kids.

He cares that his kids see what's important to you.

Um, he cares that people are, uh, judging him rightly.

And so he goes out of his way to do things that, uh, that help

people see the God that he serves.

It's like when someone's wearing a jersey, you show your team loyalty

by the jersey that you wear.

You got your Dallas Cowboy thing on, or your ranger's jersey

on, or your Dodgers jersey.

You want people to know, this is my team.

Christians don't have a jersey.

We do have a Jesus and the way that we display him is by our

respectability and our hospitality.

But there's one more.

One Timothy three, two.

Titus one, nine.

This is the one that you're gonna be quick to say, ah, this is the

one that I don't have to apply.

And you're only half right.

One Timothy three.

Titus one, nine.

First thing is, uh, Timothy three, two.

Again.

Now, therefore, an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one

wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable.

And lastly, able to teach.

Able to teach.

This will make sense if you're a pastor, overseer, elder.

You should be able to communicate God's word, and that's a qualification.

This is the only difference really, between the elder and the deacon in terms

of qualification, uh, so able to teach.

Now, I, I really like the way Titus puts it in his passage on and Titus

one nine, when, when Paul writes a Titus, here's what he says.

He adds a little more that I think is especially helpful.

He says he must hold firm that is the elder.

He has a hold firm and he's got a tight grip.

To the trustworthy word, not the untrustworthy philosophers and books

out there that, you know, the, the New York time bestsellers know he's

holding firm to the trustworthy word.

How?

As taught he's been handed down a tradition.

This man holds it.

He clutches it, he grasps it, and now he holds it firmly.

Paul adds a reason why though, so that he may be able to give

instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it.

And so you see two, two things, right?

One a positive, one's a negative.

He says, this man who is elder qualified has to be strong in the word.

He knows the word.

He holds it tight.

Why?

For two reasons.

So he can positively instruct people with sound doctrine, and so that if

someone comes at him, he has Mormons at the door, Jehovah's Witnesses or Imam

saying, this is what the Bible teaches.

He could say, no, that's not true.

This is what the Bible really says.

I'm gonna rebuke those who contradict it.

It says, so obviously an elder pastor needs to have these qualities.

However, as we talk about from the very beginning here, uh, the, the

pastor is leading because the church is meant to reflect the same things.

So he shows by his life what it means to look like this.

So a godly leader then isn't someone who's satisfied with acquiring

knowledge only for himself, opens his Bible in the morning.

That's good.

He prays in the morning.

That's good.

But he's also concerned about having a godly influence, his salt and light,

his ability to penetrate and permeate the lives of others for Christ's glory.

Which means you ought to point number three, care about

transmitting and defending the truth.

You may never have a pulpits, you may never have a teaching post, but

you ought to care about communicating effectively, communicating clearly the

truth and defending it when it's attacked, and this is happening all the time.

This happens in your living room when you open up your TV or your, your streaming

network and you have these TV shows coming through your, your speakers.

When you play a Disney movie, there's truth that's, that's being attacked.

Uh, when you play even some of the cool Netflix movies, you know,

there's truth that's being attacked by what the characters say and the,

the, the values that portray it.

So you're being assaulted with untruth all the time.

We call them lies.

Your job then is to be able to communicate true truth by saying, okay, here's,

here's the way to think about this kids.

Or my wife or my friend, or you know, your friend or you're

listening to a podcast together.

You talk about it with your friend.

Did you hear about what that guy said?

What'd you think about that?

Why do you think that's true?

Why do you think that's false?

You're having the truth attacked all over the, the social media, all

over the entertainment channels.

Uh, even on the bookshelves, the top 100 books.

They, they're talking about, uh, one book that stood out recently is something

about, um, it's a, it's a profane title.

It's something like, don't, don't care about what anyone thinks.

It's profane.

It's, you see it's orange.

You guys have seen this one before.

This is a top 100.

It's for profane title, and people love this book and it's, it's bestselling

you, because you're a godly man, care that the truth is communicated

clearly, articulately, and you care about defending it when it's attacked.

A couple years ago within the church, this movie came out, it's actually a book.

First you heard of it, right?

The Shaq.

Shaq is about a young man, well, a father named Mac, who loses his daughter.

He's grief stricken.

Obviously.

It's a really compelling story actually.

I, I started watching some of the movie clips as I was preparing for the sermon.

I thought, man, why was this so catchy?

Why do people, so many people like it?

And there's a good reason.

It's a good, it's a good story.

It's a good, it's a good story.

Um, but it's horrendous theology.

William Paul Young wrote the book, uh, an attempt to help the church, and when he

was crafting the story, one of the issues that came to the surface pretty quickly

is that he de depicted the Trinity.

And he didn't just depict the trinity, he went for the gold.

Here's what the Trinity looks like.

The father is called papa in the story.

He's the black woman.

Hopefully you heard the problem with that sentence.

Uh, Jesus.

This is probably the only one that we could all agree on was a Middle Eastern.

That's Jesus.

Okay.

Alright, fine.

Okay.

We can work with that.

The spirit, if you're doing the process of elimination here is a,

a small Asian woman named Sara,

so people called him out for this, rightly so.

William, you're teaching something that's really just not even close to being true.

Now, William responded with, this isn't a theology textbook, it's a story

that's meant to communicate truths about God, even if it's not true to

who God is according to scripture.

You could see the problem with that, that reasoning, can't you?

You wanna care about defending the truth even when it's a good story.

We, you know, lots of people wrote about that, that story, and you know.

It's a great story.

People were inspired by it.

There were so many people that were blessed by that story.

How could you stand against that?

And that's because Paul says to Titus, when you find a Gly man,

find a Gly man who can rebuke those who contradict sound theology.

Find a man who can identify what's false and call it out.

We're not curmudgeons.

We're not trying to just throw rocks at that stages or say,

you know, all that music.

All the music is bad.

We just care about sound theology.

We care about communicating, transmitting the truth and defending it.

And you might see to yourself, okay, I'm not a pastor.

So then what are some of the opportunities?

Uh, lemme just give you a couple people to think about your friends.

Think about your counseling and your advice.

Giving your ability to know the truth that is, have a mastery of God's word

and communicate it tremendously helpful.

It's basically biblical, biblical counseling.

Informally, your family, if you have a family, your, your, the movies you

watch, the music you listen to, the books you read, all of those inputs are

coming at you a thousand miles an hour.

You need to have the wisdom to say.

What does the Bible say about those things?

And have your biblical filter go off when something wrong hits the

airwaves, and also to positively communicate that to your kids.

Three, think about your small group.

Your small group relies on you to help them process the scriptures.

Think about the kind of difference it makes when you come fully prayed

up, fully studied up, and you're ready to communicate The, the

message that the sermon was about.

You're able to dialogue with different texts and cross references that just

makes a qualitative difference and the kind of experience your group has,

you benefit people by your godliness.

Just last night I was at a small group and Dan Mayer, he, he had

pages of, pages of notes typed out.

He had cross references and he was quoting, he's like, oh,

this guy's the malki, and he was aiming for the guy's head.

He cut off his ear instead the synoptic gospels, and he was just started

quoting these other references and.

Ancient fathers of the faith and all the people, Plato and dilution, everybody.

He was just quoting people.

I was so proud of Dan.

I was so proud of Dan because obviously Dan doesn't have a seminary background.

It just shows that he was studying and he came prepared and his input

made a qualitative difference in the experience of that small group.

It was a benefit.

It was a blessing.

He cares about transmitting and defending the truth.

Your social media, um, if you're on social media, certainly that's an

area where caring about transmitting and defending the truth is important.

But please jot down second Timothy 2 24.

The Lord servant must not be quarrelsome, but kind to everyone able

to teach patiently and during evil.

Your children and grandchildren need you to communicate and defend the truth.

They rely on you to help them understand how the world works.

Your coworkers need you to understand how the world works

according to what God's word says.

When I used to work at a DP, they celebrated pride month.

Uh.

I struggled with that 'cause this is my company.

I support the company.

I, I was, I was, I benefited from the company, but having them support this

thing put me in a really awkward position.

'cause I couldn't put anything in my cubicle.

I couldn't put anything up to say I stand with whatever, um, I lose my job for it.

But maybe that's not the same thing today.

Your coworkers depend upon you to know the truth and be able to

defend it and to communicate it in a way that's helpful and clear.

Now one of the, the skills that I think you ought to grow in is communicating

Christian truth with, uh, with minimal christianese, or at least being able

to communicate it and then explain Christianese as they, as they seek

to understand what you're saying.

That's one of the things that gets us in trouble, is that we use a

lot of Christian lingo and people who have no clue what we're saying.

You, we gotta be careful with how we talk and we gotta learn how to

do that skillfully and persistently.

So care about transmitting and defending the truth.

Uh, you guys know the name Robert Murray McShane, don't you?

This man only lived for 29 years.

29 years, and yet, you know who he is.

Uh, why do you know who he is?

Couple reasons.

Uh, number one, you might know his Bible reading plan, the

Nick Shane Bible Reading Plan.

It's a great plan.

It's a morning and evening thing, and it's a great, it's a great thing.

Um, but this man, uh, for his short 29 years made an indelible impact on lots

of people to this day, where even though he died in 1843 in 2025, we still know

who his name, uh, still know who he is.

Here's a, here's a one.

That encapsulates a lot of his impact on people.

And I'm quoting from MacArthur's summarization of

what Murray actually wrote.

It's ancient.

This is a better, and it's, he just sums it up better.

Here's what he writes.

Robert Murray McShane spoke at the ordination of young Dan Edwards in

the 1840s, and so shortly before he died, he said something like this.

Mr.

Edwards, do not forget the inner man, the heart.

The Calvary officer knows that his life depends upon his

saber, so he keeps it clean.

Every stain he wipes off with the greatest care.

Mr.

Edwards, you are God's chosen instrument according to your purity.

So shall be your success.

It is not great talents.

No, it is not great ideas that God uses.

It is great likeness to Jesus Christ.

Mr.

Edwards, a holy man is an awesome weapon in the hand of God.

That is, that's powerful preaches even today, and I want to affirm

that and communicate that to you.

Your godliness will radiate and emanate from your person

into every aspect of your life.

It will change the way that you drive.

It will change the way that you think about how you dress.

It'll change the way that you think about how you conduct yourself with

your words, your works, your witness.

It will cause you to say, I want to open my door so that people

can know that I love Jesus Christ.

Not just because of the decor in my wall, although that's good, but

because of the decor of my life.

I adorn my life with beauty, with godliness.

Your godliness will also be evidenced.

In the way that you care about the truth, you don't compromise, you don't

mix it, you deliver it because you're faithful to the master who sent you.

You're an ambassador and therefore you consider all of these things a

man fit to lead considers how others experience his life and leadership.

And that's the kind of godly man that people will look to and the

kind of godly man people will follow.

Kind of godly man that's worth following.

So let me encourage you to care about your witness, to care about how people see you.

And perhaps to make some adjustments starting today

about what that might look like.

And so with that, I'll send you to your small groups after we pray.