What He Must NOT Be (1 Timothy 3:3) | Pastor Rod Gomez

I hope you like jazz and jazz there.

There's always a riff.

There's a head that starts the song, usually ends a song.

That's what this is gonna be.

We're gonna have a riff that we're gonna play, but it's gonna be a lot of jazz.

Your worksheet's gonna say deny yourself first.

Timothy three, three.

That, that, that is the right text.

I don't know what I would call this sermon, but it's a good one.

We'll keep that, deny yourself the back.

Um, I only had influence over one question.

The others, uh, two questions actually.

The others are gonna be more or less related to what I'm saying.

Um, at least thematically they'll be related.

So as you prepare for your small groups, as you're thinking about these in

relation to your small group discussions.

Um, play some jazz, maybe write a couple questions down as I'm talking

and you think, oh, that would be helpful for my group to discuss.

Um, just feel free to make some additions or subtractions as you feel the need to.

Okay.

Let's jump on in.

Um, Vodi Baum has his book called What He Must Be if he's

Going to Marry My Daughter.

I didn't care about that book until I had a, I had a girl.

Since then, I've taken great interest in all these, I, these ideas of what a guy

has to be if he's gonna marry my kid.

And he says this, he's gotta be a, a follower of Christ.

He must be prepared to lead.

He's gotta lead like Christ.

He's gotta be committed to children.

He's gotta practice the four Ps, which were provider,

protector, priest and prophet.

Um.

So that's kind of cheating.

He added several there.

But in any case, he had a lot of positive qualities that he wanted his

girls to pursue in a man and what he was looking for in the suitor to his

daughter or his daughters in this case.

What's notably absent though is what he must not be.

Things that he said, these are definitely non-negotiables.

These are not things, and it's interesting because you could say, well, if I said

the positive, then certainly the negative would be implied by the positive.

And that's true by and large.

But that's, there's nothing to be said here about.

By him being a Democrat or a vegan or a convicted felon.

One assumes that vote.

He probably would say, oh, if you're a convicted felon, maybe not.

Doesn't say that though.

I bring this up because Paul does something very similar.

Except he doesn't just assume the negative he, he states it.

We're gonna look at four negatives this morning that are gonna show us what

Paul has in mind for God's leadership.

And in fact, these are the few negatives in the whole text that

we're reading about when it comes to the qualifications of overseers.

Lemme remind you why these are important.

There's two reasons why we're looking at these.

Number one, these are the men that you should look to when

you're looking for a church.

When you're looking for a a brother to say, this is the guy

that I'm gonna call my pastor.

These are the non-negotiables you read in second, first Timothy three.

Uh.

Verse two.

He says, therefore, an overseer must be the word There is day.

It is a necessity.

He must be these things.

This is the kind of man you must look for when it comes to the man that

you allow to shepherd your soul and consequently shepherd your family.

These are the non-negotiables of church leadership.

That's the first reason you need to know what you're looking for.

The second reason, however, is that all of these qualities, minus two,

the one for teaching and the one for being a recent convert, all of these.

Are evidenced in the larger body of Christ.

That is to say that it's not just true for pastors that we need to

be above reproach or that we need to be a certain caliber of man.

So remind self control.

This is all true for the whole church.

The reason God says it has to be true for the leaders or the pastors is because

it's supposed to be true for all of us.

They're meant to be exemplary in the body of Christ, and

which is why you have to know.

So two reasons.

Number one, you need to know what you're looking for in a pastor.

Number two, you need to know what you're looking for in

your own growth and maturity.

So Paul gives us this list here and he says, these are all

the things that a man must be.

Let's take a look and remind ourselves here.

We'll start at verse one, and we'll read through verse three,

which is our text for this morning.

He says this, the saying is trustworthy.

It is.

There's something for you to pay attention to and, and the likelihood that Paul wrote

this near the end of his life is high.

He's preparing to land the airplane on his ministry.

And so he's collected a few truisms that he's saying, these

are things I need you to hear and understand as I prepare to leave.

And so he tells Timothy, this is a trustworthy saying.

If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble a good task.

He's caring for souls.

That's a good thing to want.

It's a good thing to desire.

It's noble in and of itself, and he says, therefore, because of the nobility

of the role, because of the high calling that God demands, an overseer

must be, it is necessary a, A leader.

A pastor, must be above reproach.

That means people can't lob accusations against him, at least not with any

credibility because his life is exemplary.

It doesn't mean he is perfect else.

Paul wouldn't be a leader else.

We wouldn't be leaders.

He's not asking for perfection, but asking for a high level of

excellence in his character.

It's gotta be above reproach.

The husband of one wife, he's a one woman man.

This does not preclude divorce.

There are occasions when scripture does allow for divorce

in the life of a believer.

Doesn't encourage it, but it does permit it.

So we're not excluding him just because he's divorced there, there

are reasons where we would allow that and we would be okay with that.

Um, again, not commanded but permitted.

So he's the husband of one wife.

He's a one woman man.

He's sober minded.

That's gonna come into play in the next verse here.

He is sober minded.

He's self controlled.

He has possession over his own vessel.

I use the word mastery when I taught this.

This is the kind of man who takes care of his, his mind, his heart, his body.

He's respectable.

That is he comports himself in a way that people admire and say he's a good dude.

I may not agree with him.

I may not even like what he teaches, but he is respectable.

I can see that man for who he is, and I can respect his convictions.

He's upstanding.

He doesn't do things that are shady.

He's trustworthy.

He's the kind of guy that's respectable.

He's hospitable.

He's not a recluse, he's not individual.

He is not isolated.

He is the kind of man that invites others into his life.

He welcomes people into his dwellings, which is really a metaphor for

welcoming people into his life, period.

His house is just a reflection of who he is.

He says, I want you to be part of who I am, so you gotta be respectable.

Excuse me, hospitable hospitality.

He loves strangers.

That's what it says here.

He's the kind of guy who's looking around the room and says, who don't I know?

I wanna make sure that that guy, if he's a new guy, he's

feeling part of our crew here.

He's always looking for people because he cares about strangers.

And in our culture, I just gotta say this, in our culture, there's

a lot of strangers around us.

People that don't look like us, talk like us, they have strange

accents, they dress differently.

A Christian man who's qualified to be a leader in God's church

is looking for people to say, I wanna make sure I know that person.

I wanna love the stranger.

I don't want their dress or their food or their smell or their

anything to, to stop me from seeing them as an image bearer that God

designed to be loved and cared for.

And.

They need to know Christ.

They need to know the gospel.

I saw someone's Facebook post this week that said there's a hundred

percent chance that if you know me, I'm gonna tell you about God.

That's good.

I like that.

That should be all of us.

Regardless of skin or, or, or gender or anything like that.

Hospitality is a love for the other and that should qualify

what God's leadership looks like.

He's not a lover.

Uh, rather lemme go back.

He's able to teach.

This is one of those qualities that is specific to the office of overseer, but

it doesn't mean you have to be in order.

It doesn't mean you have to do what I or pastor PJ do.

It just means you have to be able to communicate the truth.

Well, that could be done in a small group setting.

That could be done in a one-on-one setting if you're doing the partners manual.

It's a man who knows how to communicate the truth with clarity,

and that's often hard to do.

Uh, the more you understand, the more challenging and confusing things can be.

But a man who is qualified to lead is able to teach.

He has the ability to say what's true in a way that's understandable, able to teach.

We talked about the context of that being your family life in particular,

um, leading your wife, leading your kids, uh, even leading in the workplace

requires you to have a certain skill set of being able to communicate clearly.

Clear, clear speaking is usually not always but indicative of clear thinking.

You can't have one without the other.

Able to teach Our passage today is verse three.

He's not a drunkard, he's not violent, but gentle.

He's not quarrelsome.

He's not a lover of money.

You'll notice 1, 2, 3, 4 knots there.

There are four knots.

These are the first time we encounter negation to everything

else that Paul has said.

Remember, you're saying these are the positive qualities we wanna see in a godly

man, but let's be clear, these are four things we don't wanna see in a Godly man.

These are four things he must not be if he's going to be a leader in God's

church, which again, I find fascinating given the fact that everything up to

this point has been a positive statement.

So why would Paul do this?

I think Paul is doing this at least for two reasons.

Number one, he is doing it for the sake of clarity.

It is not only this in positive, but also let's be sure that

that's not this in the negative.

I.

So clarity is one of those things, but also comprehensiveness.

He's covering all his bases.

So Paul, for the sake of clarity and comprehensiveness, is giving

Timothy everything he needs to identify the kind of man that is

qualified to lead in God's church.

And again, to be clear, this is the kind of man God wants all of us to be,

whether or not we ever formally acquire a leadership role within the church.

This is the kind of leadership that God endorses.

So let's look at these four negation and we're gonna combine two of them

in my second point, but let's look at the first one here, not a drunker.

This is interesting because scripture does seem to allow drinking scripture even

seems in some ways to encourage drinking.

In fact, if you, if you're looking at first Timothy chapter three with me, turn

over to First Timothy chapter five, and let's just take a quick look at verse 23.

This is interesting, given what he just said to Timothy

about not being a drunkard.

He says in chapter five, verse 23 of one Timothy, he says.

No longer drink only water Timothy, but use a little wine for the sake of your

stomach and your frequent ailments.

And so whatever Paul means about not being a drunker, he

doesn't say, don't drink at all.

He's saying, don't drink to excess.

Don't drink beyond what's appropriate and, and right for a

liter in your, in your standing.

In fact, let's take a look at another passage here.

Uh, turn to Psalm 1 0 4, verse 15.

Paul gives clarity about what he is not saying.

But it seems in the Old Testament that there's a little more freedom

in terms of what God allows for when it comes to the use of wine.

Psalm 1 0 4, verse 15, these are the among the many gifts that God has given the.

One of the gifts.

He says, let's start at verse 14 to get some, to get a rolling start.

Here he says, you cause the grass to grow for the livestock and you, and you

give plants for man to cultivate that he may bring forth food from the earth.

Verse 15, you give him wine to gladen the heart of man.

Oil to make his face shine and bread to strengthen man's heart.

And so the psalmist here is detailing the gifts that God gives people.

And among those gifts, he identifies wine, alcohol, as one of those gifts.

Unless we forget early in the gospel of John Jesus', first miracle

is to multiply wine into water.

Right?

Said that, said the wrong way.

No one caught that multiplies water into wine.

Into wine.

So what is happening here?

How do we understand this?

Okay, so Paul is prohibiting drunkenness, and I think what's

really at heart here is allowing any substance to inhibit your control.

Paul doesn't want you to be controlled by wine, not a drunkard.

In, in, in addition to the idea of sober mindedness, tells us that there is a place

for alcohol, there is a place for it.

Now, I've often struggled with this and tell me if you've ever dealt with this.

Where is the line with that?

If I'm drinking alcohol, is it okay for me to get the buzz?

Seems like maybe God's okay with that.

Is the buzz part of being drunk or am I drunk only after I'm slurring my

speech and I'm stumbling in my steps?

And here's where I've landed and I'll let you decide that I, I think I have,

I, I, I've got clarity in my mind.

I think the buzz is where you cross the line.

I don't think God intends for us to, to let our senses be dulled

or in any way to be inhibited, at least not with any regularity.

And I'll qualify that in just a few moments here.

I think the buzz feeling is, is a bad feeling because that inhibits

your ability to act and react with alertness and sobriety.

I think it violates the idea of being sober minded ordinarily.

Now, with that said, with that said, I need to qualify this.

Is there a place for for drugs that dull your senses?

Well, I think yes.

In fact, okay, just because I'm here and I have my Bible, let's do it.

Psalm uh, Proverbs 31.

Let's just go there real quick.

I wanna go to Proverbs 31.

Where does something that intoxicates or dulls our senses

fit into a Christian mindset?

If your kid gets injured, they lose a leg and they're, they're now in the

hospital and the doctor says, do you want to give morphine to your child?

Your job is to say, probably yes.

If I can stop the pain or at least mitigate it in some way.

We just talked about, uh, Julia going through labor.

None of us are probably against epidurals, but do you have a biblical

basis for that given the fact that scripture calls us to sober mindedness?

I think we do.

Here's what we have.

Uh, Psalm, uh, Proverbs rather, 31.

Uh, Proverbs 31, verse 4 31, verse four.

Proverbs 31:4

It is not for Kings ole mule.

It is not for kings to drink wine.

Or for rulers to take strong drink lest they drink and forget

what has been decreed and pervert the rights of all the afflicted.

And so Lemu Will's mother, whoever she is, and whoever he is, is

saying it's, it's noble to be sober minded so that you can act on

behalf of the people that you serve.

And all of us have people that are.

Our servants are rather people that we serve, and so he's saying, she's

saying, look, it's not good for you.

It's not noble.

We don't want you to forget the words, the rules, and we don't want you to to

pervert the rights of the afflicted.

We don't want your judgment hindered by your drinking.

She says in verse six, give strong drink to the one who is perishing.

And wine to those in bitter distress.

Let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more.

So is there a place for strong drink?

Well, she's saying yes, at least in two instances.

One of those instances being someone who's on the verge of death.

It's a mercy to give someone strong drink on the verge of death.

You might've seen this in some of the war movies where they give the

guy the hard liquor as he's preparing to leave his body and see the Lord.

She also mentions another time when those who are in bitter distress.

Now it seems like this is, this is a dangerous verse for us because there's

lots of people that are using SSRIs and things like that to dull their senses

or to change their brain chemistry.

Um, may maybe this provides support.

I think you might be asking it to do too much though, to make that case.

In any event, what scriptures teaches is that the ordinary way for a

man, the ordinary expectation for a man to lead is sober mindedness.

A man who is not known for drunkenness, a man who is not known for being

controlled by an external substance.

One last verse, Ephesians chapter five.

Let's turn back to the New Testament here.

Ephesians chapter five.

Ephesians chapter five, also written by Paul.

But in this case, he, he wants to tell you why drunkenness is not the right,

the right reason, or drunkenness is not the right, the right approach.

Uh, Ephesians five, starting at verse 18.

Ephesians five 18.

He says, don't get drunk.

Do not be drunk with wine, or that's debauchery.

So he's qualifying the sin now, and he's saying that it's

more than just drunkenness.

You're allowing yourself to be debauched.

That's what it inevitably leads to, at least is his point.

But instead of being drunk with wine, be filled with the spirit.

In other words, be under the influence, not of alcohol, but under the spirit.

If you're under the influence of the spirit, here's what

you can expect to have happen.

Verse 19, you'll address one another in Psalms and hymns and spiritual songs.

You'll sing and make melody to the Lord with your heart.

You'll give thanks always.

For everything to God the Father, in the name of our Lord Jesus

Christ, you'll submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

There are a, a whole host of evidences that you are under the controlling

influence of the spirit and not under the controlling influence of wine.

That's what sober mindedness looks like.

That's what Paul's expectation is.

And so when he says here that the man of God turned back to first Timothy

chapter three, that the man of God must not be a drunkard, he's saying

the reason why is because he's so controlled by the power of the Spirit.

His whole life is influenced by the spirit.

Not by some external substance.

He's looking for a sharp minded, sober-minded man.

Point number one.

Let's try it like this.

Don't allow your mind to be dulled and controlled.

I think that's a good takeaway.

Don't allow your mind to be dulled and controlled.

We don't want our mind to be influenced by something external to us,

especially when it dulls our senses.

And I know that also brings up a lot of questions about other kinds of

things that enhance our thinking.

Change our thinking.

We think about coffee.

Perhaps coffee.

Is coffee allowed for a Christian?

Because it can also have an influence upon our thinking.

It can sharpen us in many respects.

But can that be abuse?

Of course it can.

There's a lot of questions that opens the door to that.

I don't have time to to go through, but let's just deal with the,

the dulling effect of alcohol.

You might know that the pastors, at least at this church, are teetotalers.

We don't drink as a matter of practice and a matter of policy.

At least that's the policy for now.

We inherited this from our old church that sent us here, and part of the

reason why is that we don't want to cause a weaker brother to be offended.

We don't want to cause the weaker brother to stumble.

And so we recognize that there are people that struggle with alcoholism that are

gonna have difficulties if they see their pastor cracking open a cold one, even

if he's perfectly permitted to do so.

According to scripture, we don't do that.

And part of the reason why, again, is not only because of the

weaker brother, but because so many of you guys have different.

Ideas and, uh, uh, and convictions about alcohol do in large part to the way that

you've seen it either used or abused.

I remember the first time I, one of the first times I visited Kristen's family,

Kristen, my wife, uh, I got to know them.

They seemed like lovely people, and I just thought so well of them.

I'd, I'd, I'd never seen a, a fairly, a fairly well functioning family like hers.

And so I, I was getting to know them and we were having a great time.

I think he was at Christmas party, if I'm not mistaken.

And then I go to the kitchen and people start cracking open

bottles of wine, and I'm looking at them like, what are you doing?

I, in my heart, I, I judge them quickly and severely.

I'm like, oh, these guys are just winos.

These guys addicted to wine.

It took me years to get to this place, but I've come to realize that so

much of what shaped my thinking about alcohol was my own experience about it.

Um, and my family drinking alcohol in moderation was basically a

non, a non-existent practice.

If there was gonna be anything opened up, it was gonna be used to excess, there

was gonna be laughter and slurring and dancing and just all sorts of things.

And I even knew as a young man that that wasn't what I wanted

and neither was that good.

I felt it.

So when I saw her family cracking open bottles of wine, I felt immediately

threatened by that and I thought, I want nothing to do with this.

I'm ready to go.

Is it time to leave?

Yet?

Over the course of time, I've matured in my understanding of this, and I

recognize that there is a place for this.

There is a place, um, I still would encourage you to carefully

consider when that time and place is.

Again, God wants your mind clear.

He wants it focused.

He wants it sober.

That's what Paul says here in the beginning of chapter three,

sober mindedness, self-controlled alcohol can threaten that.

But in any case, I think it's important for you to understand that we shouldn't

let any substance exert a dominating or doling influence in your life.

I would include really any food or substance whatsoever.

Uh, food itself can also be a substance that's engineered to be highly palatable,

to overcome your feelings of satiety and to steal your, your energy.

It's, that's, that's part of the job.

There are food engineers who are pre, who are precisely designing it to

be so palatable that you can't stop.

Part of the job, a Christian man must have control, a controlling influence in

his life that is greater than the food itself or alcohol or even medications.

There was a period in my life where I was, I was wrestling with the use of NyQuil.

Like, is this a good thing for me?

I'm, I'm on call if I, if someone calls me.

In the middle of the night, I need to be able to answer.

And if I need to drive to the hospital, is this a good, should I do, I'm not.

Should I take NyQuil?

Um, I do, I think I, I do take NyQuil when I need it, not all the time, but I

think there's, those are kind of chemical dependencies that we often don and think

about when it says, don't be drunk.

That maybe we should, we should at least consider whether you're able to do that

and still possess a controlling influence over your body to have mastery over it.

All that said, all that qualification set, here's, here's the balance, I hope.

Do enjoy the gifts of God, man.

Do enjoy the gifts of God.

Do it responsibly and appropriately, but do enjoy it.

If you wanna crack open a bag of Doritos, let no man call you out on that.

If you wanna enjoy some delicious Starbucks coffee or whatever it is,

that is your pleasure, enjoy that.

God has given us all good things for to, for us to enjoy.

If you love gluten, throw that gluten in your chocolate

cake and eat that cake, man.

Enjoy the good gifts of God with, I mean, I'm telling you.

Be sober minded and self controlled.

Almost anything can steal that from you.

It just means you have to take responsibility over your life and

your leadership to say, is this substance, is this thing that I'm

enjoying helping me love God better?

Or is it stealing my affection away?

Is it exerting a controlling influence in a negative fashion?

So whether you're drinking alcohol or not, or you just have a, you know,

you have a love for painkillers, God has things to say about those things.

Do enjoy the gifts of God responsibly and appropriately.

James one 17.

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above.

We ought to receive it that way.

So the first thing that you must not be, if you're gonna be a

Godly leader is not be a drunkard.

You should not be, uh, controlled or compelled by a substance, um, really any

substance, but especially you should be controlled and compelled by the spirit.

You should be filled with the spirit, not with a, an intoxicating, uh, substance.

Besides that.

Second part of one Timothy chapter three, verse three.

He must not be a drunkard.

And here's another.

We're gonna pair these together, not violent, but gentle and not quarrelsome.

Let's put those two things together.

So circle them in your mind.

Not violent, but gentle, not quarrelsome.

Let's start with the word violent.

The word violent means a striker.

Someone who is physically willing to get into a tussle with you.

They're, they're gonna use their size or their strength

to assert dominance over you.

I don't know.

A lot of people like this, praise God, but I know they're out there.

Every time I drive on a Texas road, I'm always thinking about

the guys who are carrying a weapon.

I'm like, I'm good.

You cut me off.

Have fun your way first, your world.

I just live in it.

I don't wanna pick a fight.

I don't carry a gun.

I don't wanna come into, come into contact with the guy who

automatically resorts to violence.

And of course, scripture is saying, if you're gonna lead as

a Godly man, you can't be quick to assert physical dominance.

You can't be the kind of guy who's saying, well, you wanna talk about this?

Go talk outside.

And you start squaring up with somebody that's not the godly man that God wants.

In fact, to the opposite, he says, this is one of the times he offers a contrast.

He must not be violent but gentle.

He must not be violent but gentle.

The idea here, gentleness, um, this is a person who is forbearing.

This is a person who is not quick to draw negative assumptions about other people.

In fact, if, if you're in Timothy, turn over to Titus, I think this

is a really helpful explanation of what he means by this.

That, that Tim, Tim, T five Ts, that, that Tim, Tim t So Titus

is at the end Titus chapter.

Let's look at chapter three.

Looking at verses one and two, uh, Paul is writing to Titus

his other protege in the faith.

And here's he's telling them how to have people in the congregation

act how, how they should respond.

And here's what he says in chapter three verse one.

Remind them Titus chapter three verse one.

Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities to be

obedient, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one.

To avoid quarreling.

Being contentious here to be gentle, there's those two words that we were just

looking at to, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and he, he elaborates and to

show perfect courtesy toward all people.

You see how these words nicely fit together.

Paul tells Timothy Titus, here's what a godly leader looks like.

And by the way, the body looks the same.

A gentle man is someone who is courteous.

Again, respectable.

He doesn't pick a fight even though he could likely demolish his opponent.

He's trying to create context where, where he can love them and help them.

In fact, BD, uh, b Bauer, Danker.

I forget the names of these guys.

B, D is A.

Thank you.

R and G, Richard.

There there.

There you go.

B dag.

That's how I know it.

B deck.

Um, it's a, it's a lexicon for Greek words here.

Here's how, here's how they, here's how they summarize the word.

I think this is helpful.

The word for gentle is the quality of making allowances despite facts that might

suggest a reason for a different reaction.

Other words, clemency, gentleness, graciousness, courtesy,

indulgence, and tolerance.

Tolerance.

A man who is gentle is a man who is even handed measured.

He's not quick to react.

He's the kind of man who is able to respond kindly to someone who even

may cause instigation, who's trying to create some kind of response from you.

A gentle man doesn't need to do that.

He's self-controlled, he's in perfect control, not perfect.

He's in great control over his vessel, and so he is able to respond and not react.

That's the idea for gentleness here.

Now, if you take that word, you might be quick to say, okay, maybe

this is a milk toast man who's just easy to get rolled over.

He's the kind of guy who's not willing to, you know, stick his chest out

every now and then and say what's true and stand for the, for the good

and the right and the beautiful.

No, Paul would say this is in, in.

This is in addition to the fact that he must reprove, rebuke

and exhort with all authority.

That's what he says in Second Timothy four.

This is the same guy who must fight the good fight of faith.

A gentle man is not a weak man.

A gentleman is a man who's in control over his emotions and his feelings.

He's not gonna be violently reactive.

He's the kind of guy who's setting the example for the church speaking

evil of no one avoiding quarreling.

Gentle, showing perfect courtesy toward all people.

This is the standard that scripture is calling us to turn

back to one Timothy chapter three.

This is what is included in the idea that a man must be gentle.

False teachers, on the other hand, were not gentle, but

they were in fact quarrelsome.

This is one of the things that Paul is speaking against back

in one Timothy chapter three.

He says that you're to, to not be violent but gentle.

Okay, one Timothy three.

Move over to one Timothy chapter six.

One Timothy chapter six, starting at verse three.

He says, if anyone teaches a different doctrine and does not agree with the

sound words of our Lord Jesus Christ and the teaching that accords with

godliness, that is someone who's going and they're teaching something

heretical or something, uh, heterodox.

Uh, they're going off in their owns Paul's dealing with false teachers and he is

trying to help Timothy deal with them.

He says, if you have someone like this.

They're teaching different doctrine, uh, and they don't agree with the

sound words, the doctrinal, healthy orthodox words that I've given you.

Then verse four, that man is puffed up with conceit and understands nothing.

He thinks he's a good teacher.

He thinks he's bringing in the word.

He actually understands nothing.

Paul says he's full of, he's full of nothing.

He's full of, uh, puffed up with conceit and understands nothing.

He has an unhealthy craving for controversy and quarrels about words.

Which produce, and here's Paul's concern.

The reason that he doesn't want this tolerated in the local church

is because those, uh, those words produce envy, dissension, slander,

evil suspicions, and constant friction among people who are depraved in

mind and deprived of the truth.

Imagining that godliness is a means of gain.

And so Paul's desire here is that we not be a group of quarrelsome

people because quarrelsome inevitably leads to dissensions.

Inevitably leads to divisions and evil suspicions about one another.

Okay.

Practically speaking then, overseers, godly leaders are not polemical.

They're not argumentative.

They're not the kind of men who are ignatious, they're not fighters, they're

not the, and when you think of a pastor or a leader, you should not think of

someone who's constantly going to war with people because he likes that.

There are certain kinds of personalities that really do enjoy this.

They enjoy the fight.

They enjoy picking fights with people and starting up issues and saying,

well, have you thought about this?

And, oh, this person says that over there.

And, oh, do you know that that Greek word though, that Greek word really means,

you know, and the Hebrew in this really, I mean, if you, if you study like I

have, there's really, uh, I mean, yeah, you might know that, but here, here's

really the issue and looking for a fight.

Godly men are not looking for a fight.

They are looking for truth.

They're looking for unity.

They're not willing to sacrifice truth at the expense of unity,

but they're looking for unity.

Point number two, don't allow yourself to cause unnecessary offense or controversy.

Simple.

Don't allow yourself to cause unnecessary offense or controversy.

I think that summarizes the idea of not being quarrelsome and,

and being gentle, not violent.

When God saved me, um, I was saved in the charismatic church and

I, and I was grateful for that.

I loved it.

I learned a lot.

Um, but when I came across this guy in John MacArthur, I started listening

to a lot of his teaching and saying, I think I'm wrong about a lot of things.

I soon left that church.

And found myself in a conservative Baptist church in the heart of Bellflower.

It was some of the best years of my ministry life.

I learned so much.

But here's what happened that I, I don't appreciate as much.

Uh, one of the things that took hold in my heart is what I now understand

to be called Cage stage Calvinism.

I grew and my understanding of God's sovereignty.

And consequently, I was passionate to let everybody know, especially my old

church, how wrong they were to think.

That they had any free will to choose.

God, you're their brave sinner.

How dare you tell God that you, you could choose him.

You're dead in your trespass.

I was throwing Ephesians two so hard at people.

I think I bruised a few.

Needless to say, I aggravated a few friendships from that church

and in my heart I was thinking, and I'm fighting for the truth.

I'm letting people know what they must know, and I was going to

resolve the tension between God's sovereignty and man's responsibility

by telling people God is sovereign.

Who cares about your freedom of will you submit to God?

That's all you need, just you filthy sinner.

Thankfully, God has grown me quite a bit since then and I had a lot of friends

who graciously pushed back on me and they tolerated my very inappropriate,

ungodly rude polemical behavior.

In fact, I have some friends who, some really good friends

from the, from that church.

Who we still hang out or used to hang out before I left to, to, to

Texas, but they were gracious to me.

One of the things that should not characterize us as men is that fighting

spirit, fighting out of necessity, but not fighting because it's entertainment to us.

Um, I could easily throw someone under the bus that recently got thrown under the

bus because he created personas that were all about creating division and fighting

and creating a polemic against certain people that were called his friends.

What do you know about that?

A godly man is not afraid to fight, just doesn't want to.

As a matter of practice, godly man is gentle.

He's also a guy that's considered, uh, a guy that's considered not quarrelsome.

He's, he's not characterized by a cage stage.

Calvinism, Martin Luther once noted, softness and hardness are

the two main faults from which all mistakes of pastors come.

Leaders in particular.

Anyone, you could be too soft or too hard.

Uh, during my ministry at Compass, there was one particular season where

I was really, really struggling.

I really wrestled with being able to do my job well, and, and God

drew me to this place of humbling me so greatly that I learned.

I can't be thick skinned and close my heart off to people, but I, I

can't be so tender hearted that I bleed every time I'm criticized.

And so he taught me I need to be both tender hearted and thick skinned.

I think that's the right place for the Christian leader to be the, the right

place for the, the Christian husband, the Christian father, the Christian leader.

He must be tenderhearted and thick skinned.

If you can have both of those things that allows you not to cause unnecessary

offense and controversy, it allows you to engage hard conversations in a way

that shows compassion and tenderness and while still sticking to your guns of

conviction, which you still should do.

So I, I think you should carefully consider what warrants

a fight and what doesn't.

Some of the things that we would easily fight about are,

for instance, female pastors.

Um, I recently saw a church's website that is nearby to us looking at their

website, seeing what they teach, and I realized, oh, there's Pastor Sally and

there's Pastor Ken, and, and on and on.

And I thought, man, I don't, I don't agree with that anymore.

I used to, but I don't agree with that anymore.

Uh, does that need to divide us?

I don't think so.

I don't think so.

Um, do the charismatic gifts need to divide us as Christians?

I don't think so.

Um, does, does whether or not someone preaches or understands

arminianism versus a a Calvinistic approach, does that need to divide us?

I don't think so.

Now, when I say that I, I, what I, what I mean is not whether we're

gonna be in different churches.

We will be, make no mistake about it, but whether we need to say,

you're not even a Christian.

If you believe in female pastors, if you believe in the charismatic

gifts, you're not even a Christian.

I can't believe how you could even come to that understanding.

Your job is to be so theologically shaped by scripture, by the word of God, to have

so much of it in your head and heart that you're able to make careful distinctions.

Albert Mohler calls this idea theological triage, that is being able to rank

different doctrinal positions to say, how much weight do I give this thing?

Is it a first tier issue, a second tier issue, a third tier issue?

First tier issues are those issues that are gonna say we're

not even in the same fate.

You may call him Jesus, but you don't believe in the same Jesus of the Bible.

Easy targets here would be that of the Mormons or the Jehovah's

Witnesses, even the Muslims.

They believe in a Jesus, but he is not the Jesus of the scriptures.

And so we would say we are at a first tier misunderstanding.

We can't even call ourselves brothers or sisters here, but they're second

tier issues where they're very important and they, they, they have

influence over primary doctrines, but they're not the same thing.

I would put female pastors in that category.

Problem with this area of conversation is that there's not a definitive list.

Um, first tier is gospel.

We know that much first tier is salvation, but when it comes to second

and third tier areas, there's not a definitive, exhaustive list that says,

well, what about this particular issue?

Is this a matter of first tier, second or third tier?

It's up to us and to your pastors.

More importantly, to make those decisions carefully After a careful

and close study of scripture.

I need you to practice theological triage, and I, I think one, one

author puts it this way, helpfully.

We must distinguish between what must be affirmed and what must not be denied.

We must distinguish between what must be affirmed and what must not be denied.

There is a difference there.

What do we expect a, a new Christian to affirm a full throated

understanding of the trinity?

Probably not.

In fact, I'd, I'd venture to guess that most Christians are heretics in this area.

Unknowingly unwillingly, and so we have to distinguish between what must be

affirmed and what must not be denied.

We would say that it is right to not deny a triune understanding of the Godhead,

but whether we expect every Christian to be able to articulate an orthodox

understanding of the Trinity, that's asking a lot more than what I think

we'd, we'd all say is is right and good.

So if we're not gonna cause unnecessary offense or controversy, we just have to

be even-handed tempered and measured men who know our Bibles really well and can

engage people respectfully and gently.

Paul says to Timothy later on in his second epistle, the Lord servant must

not be quarrelsome, but kind to everyone.

Can people call you when they think about you?

Do they think of the word?

Not quarrelsome, but kind.

This is how Paul says we ought to be described.

He's kind to everyone.

To all people.

He's able to teach.

Patiently enduring evil.

When people say that about you, you're kind and you're, you

patiently endure evil again.

This is what Paul says, verse 25, in two Timothy chapter two verses 24 25, he

corrects his opponents with gentleness.

Here are words, make a recurrence.

He corrects.

That is he speaks in people's lives.

He's not afraid to say that's wrong, and let me, let me give

you some reasons why that is.

He's doing it though with a certain tenor and a temperament.

He's gentle.

Paul then concludes that thought.

He says, God may perhaps grant them repentance, leading to

a knowledge of the truth.

Why?

Well, because the approach of the Lord's servant is gentle and not quarrelsome.

He's kind.

You must not be a ignatious person.

Jesus says in his sermon on the Mount, he says, blessed are the peacemakers.

They will be called sons of God.

The normal disposition of a godly man who knows his Bible

and loves his people peacemaking.

He's not a controversial man, at least not without cause.

He's not usually ordinarily that way.

He engages because he must, as a matter of prudence and wisdom and godliness,

not because he's looking for a fight, not because he can't control himself,

but because he's discerned and decided I have to engage his fight for the

good of my church, for the good of my body, for the good of my my family.

Last, let's look at the last negation here.

First Timothy chapter three.

He is not a drunker.

He is not violent, but gentle.

He's not quarrelsome.

And lastly, he's not a lover of money.

Point number three, don't allow money to, to make your decisions for you.

Don't allow money to make your decisions for you.

Not being a lover of money means that you're not controlled by it.

Money doesn't make your decisions.

Money doesn't tell you what must be done.

Money's not gonna, they're not gonna make you decide what's most

profitable for my bank account.

Money cannot make decisions for you.

By the way, let's just take a brief moment to recognize here, when Paul gives Timothy

this list, he doesn't expect you, the congregation or Timothy, the pastor to

say, can I see into my pastor's heart?

That is, you can't look at Pastor PGE or myself and say,

does, does, do they love money?

Well, I don't know.

I don't, I can't see their heart.

Paul doesn't expect Timothy or the congregation to see

the heart of the pastor.

He's expecting that the life of the man will be on display to the degree

that you can make a decision about that man and say, yeah, he's not

a lover of money, not a drunkard.

He's not.

He's a man of care.

He's sober minded.

He's a, he's faithful.

He's the husband of one wife.

He's self-control.

He's respectable, hospitable.

Paul is expecting that all these qualities are self-evident in the life of the man.

So we're not talking here about saying, well, do I know his heart?

Don't have to just have to see him.

Paul doesn't expect you to know his heart.

So what would you look for then in a, in a man who doesn't love

money, what would you look for?

And the obvious answer is generosity.

It doesn't mean he's squandering wealth or he is just simply

throwing it out the window and, and letting his money go freely.

He's not frivolous, you understand?

But he is generous.

A man who is not a lover of money is a man who is not beholden to

the tyranny of money's demands.

Money is such a fascinating concept.

We used to trade things.

Here's, you know, gimme three oxes for this donkey, or you know, I'll

trade you this grain for this thing.

We live in such an interesting timeframe and now we're no longer

even using paper and coins.

We're now exchanging bits and bites.

Fascinating.

Um, no longer tied to the gold standard.

So what is our money?

It's our money by fiat.

It's valuable 'cause we say it's valuable.

Fascinating concept, but God knows that the tendency is that money can exert

a controlling influence on our lives.

And for the man of God who is a leader, he can't allow that to happen.

So the first issue, I got three texts for you under this text.

Please bear with me, but make your, make your way along with me.

Let's start with Hebrews chapter 13.

Hebrews 13 · chapter mention

Hebrews chapter 13.

Hebrews 13 · chapter mention

The first issue with money is a matter of trust.

And because you have a large bank account, you are quickly enticed to trust the

money and not the Lord of the money.

Hebrews chapter 13.

Hebrews 13 · chapter mention

Hebrews chapter 13 in concluding remarks in this sermon letter.

Hebrews 13 · chapter mention

The, the preacher says, Hebrews chapter 13 verse five, keep your

Hebrews 13 · chapter mention

life free from love of money.

That, that, that encourages, I mean, that suggests then that you

have a responsibility to do this.

Keep it that way.

Don't start loving it.

Don't allow yourself to love it.

You can have very little of it and love it quite a bit.

Keep your life free from the love of money, the corollary.

Be content.

Be content with what you got.

Keep your life free from the, the love of money and be content if you, if you have

something in the bank account, be content.

He says, for he has said, here's the reason why.

Here's why you don't need to love money.

Here's why.

You don't need to amass copious amounts of it.

For Jesus has said, I will never leave you nor forsake you.

Your security is not your 401k.

Your retirement account can quickly diminish and even vanish.

Scripture says your money can grow wings and fly away, and so it's a

foolish place to put your trust.

You should, you should save.

You should save for a rainy day.

But scripture says, the better trust is, I will never leave you nor forsake you.

Verse six, so we can confidently say, the Lord is my helper.

I will not fear what can man do to me?

I can lose every penny, and I know God's gonna take care of me.

And here's the beautiful thing.

It's likely gonna happen through the body of Christ that God will take care of you.

It's gonna be through the body.

If I went bankrupt today, I lost every penny I had.

I believe in my heart of hearts, you will not let me suffer.

I will have a place to live.

If I lost both of my vehicles and I lost the ability to drive those

cars, you would take care of me.

I'm confident you guys will start sending me Uber cash, or you would

offer to let me have your car.

You would do everything he could to help me live my life so I

don't suffer unnecessarily.

I think that's what God intends.

He doesn't want us to trust money.

He wants us to trust him, and often that's gonna be provided through the body.

Second, second passage here, Matthew 6 24.

Matthew chapter six.

So the first issue is a matter of trust.

Will you trust the money or will you trust the Lord?

The second issue is a matter of allegiance.

Jesus says in Matthew chapter six, verse 24, this is the Sermon on the Mount.

He says, no one can serve two masters for either he will hate the one and

love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other.

You cannot serve God and money.

You can't have two masters.

You can't have two allegiances.

The problem with money is that it demands attention.

It demands your awareness, and this is part of living in a fallen world.

We have to have money to pay the bills, to buy groceries, to put gas on the car,

to rent space for the church to meet in.

We have to pay attention to it.

We can't ignore it, but we can't let it become our master, which again means you

can't let money make decisions for you.

It has to be part of the calculus out of necessity.

I understand that.

You have to think about how much your insurance is and what, what you're

gonna spend on this and that, but you can't let it become the master.

Jesus says, you have to let me be your master, which means practically speaking,

Jesus has to control the way that you spend your money, which first of all

means as Jesus says, you give, you give.

And scripture is replete with admonitions for us to be givers.

To be the kind of men who give who, who give willingly, joyfully.

Second Corinthians eight says, we're not the kind of people

who are begrudgingly giving.

We're giving because Christ invites us to do that, and it demonstrates our

love for him over our love for money.

That includes the way that we think about tithing, which tithing, by the

way, not a New Testament concept.

Tithing is not a command for the New Testament Christian.

It was tithing was an Old Testament concept that we've imported into

the New Testament that gives us a really helpful rule of thumb.

Can't allow money to master us.

We have to master it.

One last passage back to one Timothy, but now I want you to

go to one Timothy chapter six.

The issue is a matter of trust.

It's a matter of allegiance.

And the last one here, this is an interesting one.

It's a matter of preservation.

Take a look at what I mean by that.

Verses six through 10, that's what we're gonna look at.

One Timothy six, starting at verse six.

He says this, but godliness with contentment.

Here's that word again.

Contentment is great game.

If you have a place to live, if you have food to eat.

In fact, here's what he says For we brought nothing into the world and

we can't take anything out of it.

It was asked about John d Rockefeller when he died, how much did he leave behind?

And what was the answer?

He left everything behind.

It's the old canard about you don't see a hearse pulling a U-Haul.

Yeah, but that's true.

You can't take anything with you.

The only things that are gonna be in your coffin, maybe a few mementos

that your family thinks necessary, but you're gonna be wearing a nice suit.

There's gonna be pain on your face.

To make you look a little nicer, and then they're gonna shove

you to the ground and that's it.

Everything that you've labored for in this life is gonna be left behind

except for what you send ahead.

So he says, we brought nothing into the world.

We can't take anything out of it.

But look at this list.

If we have food and clothing with these, we'll be content.

If I, Paul, I would've added at least five things more there.

I need wifi, I need air conditioning.

I need, I, I need a car, or at least a camel.

Paul, let me have a camel something.

But under divine guidance, the spirit says What you really need is food and clothes.

That's it.

That's it.

Brothers, I just need to point our attention to the obvious.

By scriptural definition, we are all wildly wealthy, just wildly

wealthy, and we need to feel that because there's added responsibility.

Because of our wealth.

When Paul says, look, he must not be greedy or a lover of money,

he's telling, he's talking to us.

'cause we are most susceptible.

Even though again, you can have very little and still be a lover of money,

it's more likely that those who have a lot have a lot harder time parting with it.

When God puts things in our hands, he expects us to remain open-handed about it.

He gives, he takes away, right?

Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Job chapter one.

But a lot of us, when God puts things into our hands, we say mine.

Thank you mine.

Now my car.

My house, my living room, my nice sofa that betrays the kind

of spirit God wants for us.

It's never mine.

We're stewards and so therefore, it's always yours.

Lord, do you wanna move my car to somebody else?

Okay, your car?

Do you wanna move my bank account to giving to somebody else?

So be it.

Do you want me to support your work over here?

So be it.

Do you wanna use my living room to have people meet for a

Bible study or a small group?

So be it.

That's not mine, it's yours.

Now, of course, you have to do the discerning work there, but notice

Paul says here, here are the basics.

Anything beyond that, man, you're rich.

If we have food and clothing, these will be content, verse nine.

But those who desire to be rich, those who long for that, they fall

into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires.

That plunge, they throw people into ruin and destruction.

For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils.

It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and

pierced themselves with many Ps that the warning could not be more stark and dire.

He's saying, look, you cannot allow yourself to love money.

You can't let money make decisions for you because it's

a matter of your preservation.

It's a matter of your persevering in your faith.

If money takes hold of your heart, it can lead you into ruin and destruction.

These are not soft words.

These are not light words.

These are the kind of words that Paul uses for his.

Harshest and strongest admonitions.

Don't let money make decisions for you.

You've heard pastor PJ say, uh, a couple weeks ago, I think it was a

couple weeks ago, to I think quoting Randy Alcorn, that when we get money,

we ought to think about, not how we can raise our standard of living,

but raise our standard of giving.

And that really is the point.

An open-handed man is gonna be evident.

An open-handed man is I, I want to give to the Lord's work, whatever that looks like.

That might look like buying textbooks for a young man going through college

doesn't have the money to buy that.

It might look like buying a, or, you know, giving, if you have extra cars and

you need, you know, someone who needs a car, let me help you out with that.

I've got one sitting in the driveway.

I don't really use it that much.

Here's a car.

The body of Christ serving the body of Christ is what God has in mind here.

We're free and open because God himself was rich and he emptied

himself and made himself poor.

For our sake, we can't outgive God.

You never will.

But I dare you to try, dare you to try the GLY leadership then as we looked

at here, is not only defined by what it does, but by what it doesn't do.

We saw four things.

We said we shouldn't be allowed.

We shouldn't allow our mind to be dull or controlled.

We can't let drunkenness or any kind of inebriation steal our thinking.

We need to have our minds sober.

Clear, alert.

To put it to work for Christ.

Secondly, we said, don't allow ourselves, don't allow yourself

to cause unnecessary controversy.

A godly man is not contentious.

He's not a brawler.

He's not looking for a fight.

He's peaceable.

He is gentle.

He corrects his opponents with gentleness.

And lastly, we said, we don't wanna let money make our decisions for us.

We don't love money.

A godly leader is a kind of person who is generous.

Generous.

He's open with his house.

That's what we talked about, hospitality.

He's open with his heart, he's open with his pocketbook.

He's not frivolous.

He's generous.

This is what Godly leadership looks like, not only by way of positive,

but by the way of negatives.

With that said, let's wrap up our time and start with small groups.

God, we thank you for giving us clear indications in your word of what we

should be looking for in our pastors.

Um, I don't expect all of us to be at Compass North Texas

for the rest of our lives.

Expect that many of us will part ways for different reasons.

And so I pray that these discussions that we've had about the kind of

man that should be a pastor in our lives is, is clear and evident.

We don't wanna lower the bar where you have heightened it.

On the other hand, Lord, we want men like that so that we can follow their example.

We wanna be those kinds of men who are not ignatious, who are

not frivolous, who are not, uh, fighters who aren't stingy or greedy.

We wanna follow men who exemplify what your word says.

Lord, that bar is high and I don't want any of us to truncate or blunt the impact.

By justifying ungodly behavior.

So please, Lord, in our hearts right now, search us.

And if there's any part of us that's pushing back on this

sermon, pushing back on your word.

More importantly, please help us Lord, to see ourselves as you see us, to genuinely

question whether or not there is room in our lives to grow in these areas.

And of course, if we're honest with ourselves, Lord, there's plenty of room.

Help us to think carefully about these areas and to put them into practice today.

Whatever that looks like, help us to take continued.

Steps toward growth and holiness, however small they might be this morning.

To that end, Lord, we pray that you would help us to become more like Jesus.

That's what we're here for.

We wanna be like Jesus.

We wanna honor him.

We wanna love him.

Help us to grow in our longing for His glory and His honor

as evidenced in our lives.

We ask all of this in Jesus' name.

Amen.