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[SPEAKER_00]: y'all maybe seated teenagers you were dismissed catch you guys later hey y'all my name is Ellie I am I'm a grateful believer in Jesus and I struggle with anxiety and character defects hey y'all that's what we're gonna talk about tonight are y'all ready

[SPEAKER_00]: I really wanted to come out tonight too.

[SPEAKER_00]: Are you ready to rumble?

[SPEAKER_00]: But not just did it anyways.

[SPEAKER_00]: You're welcome.

[SPEAKER_00]: You're welcome.

[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, I don't know if you guys know this or not, but we finally get to leave principle four.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yes!

[SPEAKER_00]: We're moving on.

[SPEAKER_00]: Principal four.

[SPEAKER_00]: We're done for now.

[SPEAKER_00]: But if you know anything about recovery, you know it never ends.

[SPEAKER_00]: So we're moving on to a new one.

[SPEAKER_00]: So, if you have come out of denial, then you've realized you need help, and you've come to the understanding that God can and will help you recover, then you've already maybe turned your life over to Christ's care and control, and you've taken the time to look

[SPEAKER_00]: now it's not the time to slow down.

[SPEAKER_00]: Take your breath, if you must, take a deep breath, if you must.

[SPEAKER_00]: Think we're fixing to give me a little thingy.

[SPEAKER_00]: So my air doesn't come through here.

[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you.

[SPEAKER_00]: You hear every breath.

[SPEAKER_00]: Hold on one minute.

[SPEAKER_00]: The moment's going.

[SPEAKER_00]: Well, as long as I don't be hard.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's better, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: So, catch your breath, everybody, take a deep breath.

[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, now the work is just getting started.

[SPEAKER_00]: We're not done, we're gonna keep going.

[SPEAKER_00]: Listen, it's time now to submit and surrender to the change that God wants to make in our lives.

[SPEAKER_00]: Through the inventory process, the confession, the admission that's principle four that we just went through.

[SPEAKER_00]: Through all of that, God probably showed you some things in your life that might need to change.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's what happens.

[SPEAKER_00]: He shows us some things that might need to change.

[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe there's some repetitive mistakes, whether it's thoughts, behaviors, or beliefs, that may be our hurting you or those around you.

[SPEAKER_00]: We learn those in the inventory process, and this is the part of recovery where we start principle five, which says voluntarily, submit to every change, God wants to make in my life,

[SPEAKER_00]: and humbly ask him to remove my character defects.

[SPEAKER_00]: Matthew five six says, blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness.

[SPEAKER_00]: So they will be filled.

[SPEAKER_00]: Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness.

[SPEAKER_00]: We don't want to stay the same, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: Generally, it's one thing that brought us here, whether it's drug or alcohol addiction or gambling or maybe it's dysfunction in our families, it could be, maybe that spouse we couldn't get in line, whatever it is that one thing that brought us here often we find that that one thing is actually just a symptom of a deeper rooted issue.

[SPEAKER_00]: And so the problem is we end up staying, we think it's that one problem that brought us here.

[SPEAKER_00]: But then we find out that there's a lot of things that we need to work through.

[SPEAKER_00]: And that's why we stay here.

[SPEAKER_00]: So here I am, eight years later, still working through my character defects.

[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, she guys did it now.

[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, if you're a newcomer, I'm glad you're here.

[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.

[SPEAKER_00]: don't get overwhelmed.

[SPEAKER_00]: Don't get overwhelmed because like you're in the right place.

[SPEAKER_00]: Just keep coming back.

[SPEAKER_00]: Just keep coming back.

[SPEAKER_00]: So eight years later, I'm still working on my character defects.

[SPEAKER_00]: I feel like, you know, I got my co-dependency under control and then boom, here's judgmentalness.

[SPEAKER_00]: Get that under control and then boom, here's procrastination.

[SPEAKER_00]: There's just like the next thing, you know, busyness is a means of avoidance.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm just throwing out on my jump to you guys.

[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, that's okay.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's a safe place, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: But listen, this is the moral of this story.

[SPEAKER_00]: It takes time.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's a process.

[SPEAKER_00]: So, don't sweat it, don't get overwhelmed.

[SPEAKER_00]: We have the rest of our lives to figure out this recovery stuff.

[SPEAKER_00]: But all I'm going to ask of you tonight, no matter how long you've been here.

[SPEAKER_00]: If you've been here for 15 years.

[SPEAKER_00]: 15 minutes, like no matter how long you've been here, the only thing I ask of you tonight is to be ready.

[SPEAKER_00]: Just be ready to let God remove those defects of character.

[SPEAKER_00]: We want to have a heart of readiness, and that step six, we were entirely ready to have God remove all these character defects.

[SPEAKER_00]: In your bullets and you should have had a handout, and we're going to have fillings, but what I want you to do is on step six,

[SPEAKER_00]: We need to be entirely ready to have God remove circle all these defects of character.

[SPEAKER_00]: Again, I'm going to remind you, take your time.

[SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to do it all at once.

[SPEAKER_00]: But we don't want to be partially ready.

[SPEAKER_00]: like just a toe in but still an arm over here.

[SPEAKER_00]: We want to be entirely ready to let him remove these defects of character and the verse for that is James Fortin.

[SPEAKER_00]: I love this verse.

[SPEAKER_00]: Humble yourselves before the Lord and he will lift you up.

[SPEAKER_00]: When I read this verse, I envision what

[SPEAKER_00]: humbly.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I imagine that He comes to me and He just lifts me up.

[SPEAKER_00]: I die and says it's okay, honey.

[SPEAKER_00]: When we come to Him humbly and we just say, Lord, He does lift us up.

[SPEAKER_00]: Do you believe that?

[SPEAKER_00]: He does.

[SPEAKER_00]: He lifts us up.

[SPEAKER_00]: That is what He does.

[SPEAKER_00]: So tonight we're talking about character defects and I encourage you that this little paper that I have here is in the info tower, I challenge you to go get one of these little papers tonight and pray and then look over the list and see what the Lord may be reveals to you.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm just going to read you a couple of character defects are negative behaviors which enable our dysfunctional lives.

[SPEAKER_00]: Words or descriptions to help those who are not sure of what they are feeling or how they see others.

[SPEAKER_00]: This helps because often we're unaware of our issues.

[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes we're so wrapped up in it, we don't know.

[SPEAKER_00]: So a couple of them are manipulative

[SPEAKER_00]: the list goes on, but I encourage you to take this list and look over it.

[SPEAKER_00]: And then be ready to let God remove whatever your spirit was convicted about.

[SPEAKER_00]: So let's jump

[SPEAKER_00]: That's so easy, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: How many codependents in the house?

[SPEAKER_00]: Don't want to let go.

[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.

[SPEAKER_00]: I feel you.

[SPEAKER_00]: Release, control.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's what we need to do.

[SPEAKER_00]: We don't want to let go.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's the hardest thing we could do, but it is also the most liberating thing to let go.

[SPEAKER_00]: We just hang about that, lay it all down, to let go.

[SPEAKER_00]: Listen, we have already given him control of our lives.

[SPEAKER_00]: This principle three, we gave him control of our lives.

[SPEAKER_00]: Now we're letting him take all the other little stuff.

[SPEAKER_00]: of a little stuff.

[SPEAKER_00]: We say, Lord, I need you to take this and take that.

[SPEAKER_00]: Have you all ever heard that phrase like going like God?

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, like going like God, I think I'm pretty sure there's t-shirts out everywhere about that, but we usually, that's the thing we struggle with the most, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: To let go because we want to take it back and we want to keep taking it back.

[SPEAKER_00]: But I've also noticed that sometimes we live with these defects of characters so long that we really like just get so used to them and we don't even know they're there like the little guy in the black with a little head over here, I haven't picture.

[SPEAKER_00]: You remember that guy?

[SPEAKER_00]: He was like the little defect of character always saying the wrong thing.

[SPEAKER_00]: And we like literally we just grow accustomed to having that little guy there that little defect of character.

[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I'm just a perfectionist.

[SPEAKER_00]: or, oh, it's just me, I'm a workaholic, but it doesn't have to be that way, guys.

[SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't have to be that way.

[SPEAKER_00]: We can choose to let it go.

[SPEAKER_00]: We can learn to let go.

[SPEAKER_00]: Psalms 14310 says, teach me to do your will for you or my God.

[SPEAKER_00]: May your good spirit lead me on to level ground.

[SPEAKER_00]: Do you believe that he will lead you on to the level ground?

[SPEAKER_00]: Do you believe that he has trustworthy?

[SPEAKER_00]: There may be somebody here who doesn't believe that.

[SPEAKER_00]: Because your life hasn't proven that in your mind.

[SPEAKER_00]: But can I tell you that's okay.

[SPEAKER_00]: I want to give you the freedom.

[SPEAKER_00]: to feel that way.

[SPEAKER_00]: But maybe you can pray this prayer.

[SPEAKER_00]: God's heech me who you are.

[SPEAKER_00]: Be my God.

[SPEAKER_00]: I want to believe that your good spirit will lead me on level ground.

[SPEAKER_00]: Just twist it around just a little bit and pray that scripture over your life.

[SPEAKER_00]: God, I want to believe that your good spirit will lead me to level ground and keep coming to him same God.

[SPEAKER_00]: I want to believe that show me who you are.

[SPEAKER_00]: Why?

[SPEAKER_00]: Because I've been there.

[SPEAKER_00]: I've asked God why, and He showed me in the most tender way possible.

[SPEAKER_00]: He is a good God, and He will lead you on to level ground.

[SPEAKER_00]: We just have to be ready to take it one day at a time.

[SPEAKER_00]: Take a one day at a time, one thing at a time, one character defect at a time, one moment at a time.

[SPEAKER_00]: So the E&R across stick is easy, doesn't.

[SPEAKER_00]: Easy, doesn't.

[SPEAKER_00]: There's not a quick fix.

[SPEAKER_00]: If you came here thinking, if you're a newcomer new like this, you're going to get in, get out.

[SPEAKER_00]: Or maybe you've been here for a little bit.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's not a quick fix, guys.

[SPEAKER_00]: We have to allow time for God to work in our lives.

[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm going to encourage you, don't compare yourself to others.

[SPEAKER_00]: Don't compare your growth to others.

[SPEAKER_00]: Don't compare your growth to others.

[SPEAKER_00]: This is about you.

[SPEAKER_00]: And God, this is between the two of you.

[SPEAKER_00]: Go at your own place.

[SPEAKER_00]: Do we need others?

[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, absolutely.

[SPEAKER_00]: We do, but that's not what I'm saying.

[SPEAKER_00]: What I'm saying is don't make the change for someone else.

[SPEAKER_00]: Don't try to make the change to make someone else happy.

[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I'm going to work on this so that I can win my life back.

[SPEAKER_00]: Or win my life back.

[SPEAKER_00]: Or vice versa.

[SPEAKER_00]: You want to do it for God, for yourself, to draw near to Him.

[SPEAKER_00]: Motive matters.

[SPEAKER_00]: Why are you making the change?

[SPEAKER_00]: Psalm 37, five says, commit everything you do to the Lord, trust him, and he will help you.

[SPEAKER_00]: The changes that he wants to make.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's why I said before you look through this list of character defects, pray, seek him, say, Lord, what is it in me that you want to tackle first?

[SPEAKER_00]: Because there's probably a couple of things on that list just struggling with, because it's true for me.

[SPEAKER_00]: So go with him.

[SPEAKER_00]: And then let him be your guide.

[SPEAKER_00]: Let him be your motive to change.

[SPEAKER_00]: Often my prayer is Lord, one and me needs to go.

[SPEAKER_00]: Is there anything in me you don't like?

[SPEAKER_00]: Those are hard prayers.

[SPEAKER_00]: Lord, what in me needs to go?

[SPEAKER_00]: Is there anything that is keeping me

[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes I pray, God is there anything in my life that is hindering my relationship with you.

[SPEAKER_00]: Those are hard prayers, but if we really want recovery and if we're really ready to change, then we will pray the prayers and it's not that hard.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's really not, so what do you want more?

[SPEAKER_00]: What do you want more to stay where you're at or to go through the hard?

[SPEAKER_00]: You know, the character defect is just a symptom of the sin, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: My codependency people pleasing, bending my values to suit others or to make others happy.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's a symptom of a deeper rooted sin in my wife of inadequacy.

[SPEAKER_00]: of low self worth.

[SPEAKER_00]: That was the person that I was before God.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I let him work through my life.

[SPEAKER_00]: I have a choice to stay in the dysfunction or to trust God and to change those parts of my life.

[SPEAKER_00]: not the next letter is to accept the change.

[SPEAKER_00]: I had to choose to accept the change in my life.

[SPEAKER_00]: No matter how hard it was going to be, first Peter 3, 1 through 13 says, so prepare your minds for action and exercise self-control.

[SPEAKER_00]: Put all your hope in the gracious salvation that will come to you when Jesus Christ has revealed to the world.

[SPEAKER_00]: So you must live as God's obedient children.

[SPEAKER_00]: Listen to this, don't flip back into your old ways of living to satisfy your own desires.

[SPEAKER_00]: You didn't know any better back then.

[SPEAKER_00]: And also, can I just say you didn't know any better back then?

[SPEAKER_00]: Who needs to hear that?

[SPEAKER_00]: You did not know any better back then.

[SPEAKER_00]: Forgive yourself.

[SPEAKER_00]: Let it go.

[SPEAKER_00]: Let that old self go.

[SPEAKER_00]: to want to change is one thing, but to accept the change is a totally different thing.

[SPEAKER_00]: Have you ever heard that saying, you can want one hand and spit in another?

[SPEAKER_00]: Look, that way I know it, anyways, you'll get why I'm one hand or you can spit in another,

[SPEAKER_00]: means you can walk on you want to, but if you're not willing to work, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: We have to put the work in, except hardship as a pathway to peace.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's not just about the hardship of life y'all, recovery is a hardship.

[SPEAKER_00]: Getting rid of these defects of character, that is a hardship.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's hard in the moment, letting go of those defects of character.

[SPEAKER_00]: It is hard, but it is the relief after is such a good feeling.

[SPEAKER_00]: It works if you work it and you are worth it.

[SPEAKER_00]: You are worth it, except the hardship as a pathway to peace, except the change, put the work in.

[SPEAKER_00]: We don't want to just say, God give me a new life.

[SPEAKER_00]: God just give me a new mind.

[SPEAKER_00]: Will you give me a new mind?

[SPEAKER_00]: You'll God wants to partner with you.

[SPEAKER_00]: He wants to partner with you.

[SPEAKER_00]: Now God can't snap his fingers and get you into the right place.

[SPEAKER_00]: He could.

[SPEAKER_00]: but he wants to partnership with you.

[SPEAKER_00]: First Corinthians 6-1 says, as God's co-workers, we urge you not to receive God's grace and vain.

[SPEAKER_00]: As his co-workers, the very first, the very,

[SPEAKER_00]: Not next verse, previous verse, that's the one.

[SPEAKER_00]: The verse right before that is God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's 1 Corinthians 5, 21.

[SPEAKER_00]: God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

[SPEAKER_00]: as God's co-workers, working with Him, don't get it twisted.

[SPEAKER_00]: You can't earn your salvation or righteousness.

[SPEAKER_00]: That is only through Christ.

[SPEAKER_00]: That is only through Him.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's our part to surrender, to surrender to the change that He wants to make.

[SPEAKER_00]: be a reason to keep on sin and because Paul writes about that as well.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's not a reason to keep on doing the things that pull us away from him or cause pain in our lives or pain to others.

[SPEAKER_00]: We can't do it on our own, but God can and he wants to work with us.

[SPEAKER_00]: Why?

[SPEAKER_00]: Isn't that a beautiful thing?

[SPEAKER_00]: Like if you think about it.

[SPEAKER_00]: God could just change our hearts, but God wants to work in us through us with us to bring us into His righteousness.

[SPEAKER_00]: How beautiful and sweet is that that he wants to do that with us, because he's a relational God, because he knows as we work with him, guess what we do, we learn more about him.

[SPEAKER_00]: And the more we learn about him, the more we love him.

[SPEAKER_00]: That has been true in my life.

[SPEAKER_00]: But as we release control and accept change, then it's important to replace the character defects.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's the next one in our cross-sick.

[SPEAKER_00]: D is for due replace your character defect.

[SPEAKER_00]: When an evil spirit leaves a person, it goes into the desert, seeking rest, but finding none.

[SPEAKER_00]: Then it says, I will return to the person I came from.

[SPEAKER_00]: So what returns and finds its former home empty, swept in an order, then the spirit finds seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they all enter the person and live there, Matthew 12, 43 through 45.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's not just about stopping that bad habit, but it's about starting healthy new habits as well.

[SPEAKER_00]: So if we don't replace the old things with a good thing, chances are we're going to go back to that old thing, or we're going to find another old thing that may be even worse.

[SPEAKER_00]: So we want to replace it.

[SPEAKER_00]: So here's some examples.

[SPEAKER_00]: That change in the habit.

[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe we start making a gratitude list instead of a hit list.

[SPEAKER_00]: No, sorry.

[SPEAKER_00]: So blunt, so clear.

[SPEAKER_00]: We don't, we trade our self-loathing for forgiveness.

[SPEAKER_00]: Prayer walks instead of

[SPEAKER_00]: our feelings on guilty of that as well guys, prayer walks have changed my recovery and my life really my relationship with the Lord is going for a walk and talking about it, maybe encouragement and set of complaining, we have to replace those character defects, with good healthy habits.

[SPEAKER_00]: When we are willing to do that, chances are we are yielding to the growth.

[SPEAKER_00]: And that's the why, yield to the growth.

[SPEAKER_00]: Those who have been born into God's family do not make a practice of sinning because God's life is in them.

[SPEAKER_00]: So they can't keep on sinning because they are children of God.

[SPEAKER_00]: Now, because we have a sinful nature inside of us, but the sin becomes less.

[SPEAKER_00]: We sin less often and we become quicker to repent.

[SPEAKER_00]: The longer we're with the Lord and the longer we walk with Him, that's what happens.

[SPEAKER_00]: If we are fully reliant on God, then the desire for sin goes away.

[SPEAKER_00]: We don't want to do it anymore, because we have a desire to please and honor Him with our lives.

[SPEAKER_00]: If I ever get to a point where I think I'm good, I think I've tackled all the defects in my life.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm good.

[SPEAKER_00]: Then I know that I have a problem.

[SPEAKER_00]: So Paul, in his journey, when he first started out as in ministry,

[SPEAKER_00]: He started out in Galatians, he said this.

[SPEAKER_00]: He said, as for those who were held in high esteem, talking about the other apostles, whatever they were makes new difference to me, like competitive, maybe a little jealousy in their own culture.

[SPEAKER_00]: That was 49 AD, but then six years later, he writes in Corinthians, he says, I'm the least of the apostles.

[SPEAKER_00]: Five years after that, in Ephesians, he says,

[SPEAKER_00]: Two years before his death, after walking with Christ, perhaps 30 years, he clearly states, I am the worst of all sinners.

[SPEAKER_00]: He says that in first Timothy.

[SPEAKER_00]: So what happened over time, Paul became more and more aware

[SPEAKER_00]: of who he was and God's grace.

[SPEAKER_00]: So as we look at these defects of character, if we ever get to a place where we think that we're okay, is when we need a question or walk with the Lord, because we should always be aware

[SPEAKER_00]: of the defects of our character, the sin in our lives, and we should always be aware of his grace and his love for us and know that he is good.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yielding to growth doesn't mean that we don't just want to change.

[SPEAKER_00]: We earnestly pursue change.

[SPEAKER_00]: And we can't pursue change if we're not earnestly pursuing the Lord.

[SPEAKER_00]: When we pursue him, we do pursue change because we want to be more like him, which is what this whole thing, this whole ministry, is all about if you haven't caught on to that yet.

[SPEAKER_00]: So if self-doubt and low esteem tells you that you're not worthy of the growth and the progress that you're making.

[SPEAKER_00]: I want you to know that that is the Holy Spirit working inside of you and that is something to celebrate to be happy you are worth it.

[SPEAKER_00]: You are worth it.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I want you to remind you that, like the song we sang, run to the Father, that you can run to Him.

[SPEAKER_00]: With all of those character defects, humble yourself before the Lord, and He will graciously lift you up because that is who He is.

[SPEAKER_00]: I want you to know that maybe if there's been a time

[SPEAKER_00]: You did humble yourself, and you brought an apology to someone, and it was not received.

[SPEAKER_00]: God is not that kind of God.

[SPEAKER_00]: He will willingly receive you, no matter what you've done, no matter the defect, no matter how deep the sin

[SPEAKER_00]: humbly come to him and he will lift you up.

[SPEAKER_00]: So if you are entirely ready to surrender to him and humbly ask him to remove your character defects, pray this prayer that's on the screen.

[SPEAKER_00]: Dear God, thank you for taking me this far in my recovery journey.

[SPEAKER_00]: Now I pray for your help in making me be entirely ready to change all of my shortcomings.

[SPEAKER_00]: Give me the strength to deal with all of my character defects that I have turned over to you.

[SPEAKER_00]: Allow me to accept all the changes that you want to make in me and help me to be the person that you want me to be in your son's name.

[SPEAKER_00]: I pray.

[SPEAKER_00]: Amen.

[SPEAKER_00]: God, I thank you so much for who you are, and that you are a gracious and kind God that is slow to anger and abounding in love.

[SPEAKER_00]: God, I thank you that you accept us just as we are, that you kneel down and pick us up.

[SPEAKER_00]: God, but I thank you that you don't leave us the way we are.

[SPEAKER_00]: I thank you that your grace leads us to repentance.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's not

[SPEAKER_00]: A reason to stay the same and keep on making the same mistakes, your grace is sufficient for us and it is a reason to change so tonight, God, give us the courage to listen to your prompting, to accept the change.

[SPEAKER_00]: to replace those character defects and to let you have control of our lives, our hearts and our minds.

[SPEAKER_00]: I think for who you are and the work that you are constantly doing within us.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's in your most holy name we pray.

[SPEAKER_00]: Amen.

[SPEAKER_00]: Thanks, guys.