Grief After Suicide | Tim Bolen

[SPEAKER_01]: Hey guys, I am Scott.

[SPEAKER_01]: I am a grateful believer in Jesus Christ and I'm in recovery for anxiety and depression

[SPEAKER_01]: Hey guys, hey guys, listen, the Lord renews all of our strength and he gives us hope.

[SPEAKER_01]: I am so glad you're here now.

[SPEAKER_01]: If you're a newcomer once again, I want to say so so glad you're here and at the end of the service we'll give you some more instructions about what we're to go at the end but again just so glad you're here.

[SPEAKER_01]: Hey for everyone in the room tonight is a different night.

[SPEAKER_01]: Now what I love about sober recovery is we do with real issues.

[SPEAKER_01]: All right?

[SPEAKER_01]: And listen, life is hard, right?

[SPEAKER_01]: Man, life is hard, but you know what?

[SPEAKER_01]: I don't even mean to sound cliché, but this is true, life is hard, but God is good.

[SPEAKER_01]: The feedback is not, okay.

[SPEAKER_01]: I got, it might be my watch, I'm not sure.

[SPEAKER_01]: But listen, I want to say this.

[SPEAKER_01]: We tonight, we have guest speakers.

[SPEAKER_01]: This is a friend of mine, this is Tim Bolin.

[SPEAKER_01]: And I, Tim, is a counselor here in the area, Trout Corps, Counseling, and I, just a good friend.

[SPEAKER_01]: And this is very hard for me to speak nicely about him.

[SPEAKER_01]: Nobody has been as cruel to me as him.

[SPEAKER_01]: We have a great friendship, this built on insults and sarcasm, but we've known each other 25 years, and I will say this, integrity, love for the Lord, love for his word, and a love for people that are hurting.

[SPEAKER_01]: Again we do a real issue here, last three years, we have seen three people that we love, take their own life.

[SPEAKER_01]: But again, God's good, and God provides people who have the gift of comforting, who have the gift of teaching.

[SPEAKER_01]: And tonight, Tim is gonna share with us tonight on how to tune through times like this.

[SPEAKER_01]: So, would you welcome Tim Bowler?

[SPEAKER_00]: Scott said he was going to be nice tonight, but I did not make that promise.

[SPEAKER_00]: So, Scott and I are kind of like an old married couple.

[SPEAKER_00]: We go back a long ways.

[SPEAKER_00]: We help each other.

[SPEAKER_00]: A lot.

[SPEAKER_00]: You know, he reminds me to take my meds.

[SPEAKER_00]: I remind him to go to the gym.

[SPEAKER_00]: He's a better motorvaders than I am.

[SPEAKER_00]: So, you know, he and I have been friends for a very long time.

[SPEAKER_00]: I will say this.

[SPEAKER_00]: Now, everybody's in some form of recovery.

[SPEAKER_00]: I will say that everyone has hurts, habits, hangups.

[SPEAKER_00]: Everyone has insecurities and struggles.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm glad to be here with you guys tonight.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm telling you, the energy in this place is A1, really cool.

[SPEAKER_00]: Man, give it up to hand.

[SPEAKER_00]: Good stuff.

[SPEAKER_00]: Enjoy this.

[SPEAKER_00]: And my brother's got loves you guys.

[SPEAKER_00]: He loves you.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I know you know that.

[SPEAKER_00]: So he asked me to answer a really difficult question tonight.

[SPEAKER_00]: And he says, and you've only got 30 minutes to do it.

[SPEAKER_00]: And the question is, like, what do you do in like waves hit?

[SPEAKER_00]: When your emotions just knock you down like a wave in the ocean.

[SPEAKER_00]: And you're left trying to figure out how to pick yourself back up again.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to take a half an hour to create some space for us to maybe have some better conversations.

[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe we will ask better questions here.

[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, who am I to answer that question?

[SPEAKER_00]: Frankly, I can tell you this.

[SPEAKER_00]: If the question is, what do we do with our emotions after a crisis?

[SPEAKER_00]: I can tell you that there's a lot of truth and one I'm about to tell you.

[SPEAKER_00]: Exactly what we do with them before the crisis.

[SPEAKER_00]: My belief is that crisis doesn't really create growth, it reveals it.

[SPEAKER_00]: And so when something happens that literally just kind of knocks us off of our feet and makes us look up and ask God for help, which by the way is a good thing.

[SPEAKER_00]: How do you respond to that?

[SPEAKER_00]: I hope to do some justice to that, what I really hope to do is get us all asking really good questions about this very important topic.

[SPEAKER_00]: Would you pray with me please asking for God's blessing?

[SPEAKER_00]: Father, I just want to bless this half hour time together with our people.

[SPEAKER_00]: I pray that the words that come out of my mouth Father, they're yours and they're helpful and they're a blessing.

[SPEAKER_00]: I want to pray that this topic opens dialogue.

[SPEAKER_00]: I pray that it comforts hurting hearts.

[SPEAKER_00]: I pray that it reveals to us places in our own lives where we need to continue to lift up holy hands and ask you for help and to rely upon you and trust in you and Father, I pray that we would do it as a church community and not alone.

[SPEAKER_00]: And so Lord, I just pray that this message would be an encouragement and a blessing to your people.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I pray this in Jesus' name and all God's people said, Amen.

[SPEAKER_00]: So I got back from lunch one day and I was, I got out of the truck and I was walking towards the office and there was this lady outside in the playground with a two little girls there was a three year old and a one year old.

[SPEAKER_00]: And strangely enough she never meant before she looks at me and she yells over will you watch my little girl for me.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, wait, what did you just ask me.

[SPEAKER_00]: a guy to ask to watch your little girl now I get it like I had four dollars so I understand there's kind of an emergency here the one year old needed to go to the bathroom there's an outdoor bathroom and she wanted me to kind of make sure that three year old was okay there's a reason I'm telling you the story um so I said well I'll tell you what I was so uncomfortable with this I didn't even know what to say no one's ever asked me that before I said

[SPEAKER_00]: The bathroom's over there, I'm going to stay right here and your little girl is over there and I'm just going to watch you from this space you can see I'm like I'm like going overboard here to make sure she sees this is where I'm at okay and I'm still uncomfortable with this all things so she starts towards the bathroom with one year old and I'm watching this three year old as soon as she starts towards the bathroom the three year old on her heel starts running out of the playground.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm thinking oh she's had it with this playground she's going to run into the other playground.

[SPEAKER_00]: Nope, she kept on running.

[SPEAKER_00]: She run past the first gate.

[SPEAKER_00]: I thought, okay, there's one more gate.

[SPEAKER_00]: She's gonna slide into that second playground at the last gate.

[SPEAKER_00]: Nope, she kept on running.

[SPEAKER_00]: At this point, she is 50 yards from highway 278.

[SPEAKER_00]: Now they're going 35 to 55 depending.

[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm thinking,

[SPEAKER_00]: Whoa, and I started yelling to her, I didn't even know her name.

[SPEAKER_00]: I said, well, little girl, like, wait, come here, hold on.

[SPEAKER_00]: And she's booking it, man, I'm telling you right now, three girls can run.

[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, now I'm not a runner, but I figured I can outrun a three-year-old, so I take off.

[SPEAKER_00]: Now I'm 100 yards from 278.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm running about three or four seconds, and I realize I am not going to win.

[SPEAKER_00]: She keeps on running.

[SPEAKER_00]: She's hit the gravel driveway.

[SPEAKER_00]: She proceeds to run right into the road with cars going in both directions.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm going, Lord, no, no, no.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna watch this in real time.

[SPEAKER_00]: You gotta be kidding me.

[SPEAKER_00]: I just got back from lunch, seriously.

[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm watching this thing play out.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm just like wanting to go faster and I can't.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I don't know God, that's the answer.

[SPEAKER_00]: This couple stops their truck in the middle of the road while there's cars still flying on the other side.

[SPEAKER_00]: They grab this little girl, they kind of grab a bunny on, they go back up the gravel drive where she starts, where she starts from and they start walking towards me.

[SPEAKER_00]: At this problem, I realized, at this minute, I figured I have another problem.

[SPEAKER_00]: They're walking towards me, not her mom.

[SPEAKER_00]: So as they're walking towards me, I don't know where mom is,

[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm telling her this story.

[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, thank you so much.

[SPEAKER_00]: This was a scary moment for me.

[SPEAKER_00]: I just got back from lunch.

[SPEAKER_00]: Her mom asked me to watch her.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'll take her from you.

[SPEAKER_00]: The lady wasn't having any of it, and so she walks her up towards me, and as I'm telling her, no really, I work here and look at him dressed kind of nice, you know, it's like I'm not a pervert, and so I'm like, I'm legitimate here, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: So she wasn't believing it, and we walked until I could finally see mom coming out of the bathroom.

[SPEAKER_00]: My story was legitimized.

[SPEAKER_00]: The couple got back in their truck and left, mom got back in her car with the little girls and left.

[SPEAKER_00]: At this moment, I need therapy.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not kidding.

[SPEAKER_00]: So I was just like, I called my wife.

[SPEAKER_00]: It was like, you're not gonna believe what just happened.

[SPEAKER_00]: And the thought just kept going through my mind.

[SPEAKER_00]: It is the most scary thing when someone is slipping from your grasp and there's nothing that you can do about it.

[SPEAKER_00]: How much harder when you do know them?

[SPEAKER_00]: So several years ago in a church that I was serving, there was a man who was struggling, I've been working with him for several years, actually.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'd worry about him, I'd worry about him, taking his own life, he'd made it threats at different times.

[SPEAKER_00]: And this time he sent me a three word text, he said, I am bad.

[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I knew what that meant.

[SPEAKER_00]: That meant I am not in a good place.

[SPEAKER_00]: So I dropped what I was doing.

[SPEAKER_00]: I got to his house.

[SPEAKER_00]: When I get there, I'm looking for how many children in the room.

[SPEAKER_00]: When I get there, there's a half-drink bottle of burn, bourbon, and a loaded gun sitting on the floor.

[SPEAKER_00]: And he asked me, for help.

[SPEAKER_00]: I said, what do you want me to do?

[SPEAKER_00]: He says, I want you to remove everything dangerous from the house, and I need some serious help.

[SPEAKER_00]: So the first thing that I did was I called for help.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not doing this by myself.

[SPEAKER_00]: So I asked somebody to come help me and we removed things that were dangerous and got him some help.

[SPEAKER_00]: And he was on a better path for a while.

[SPEAKER_00]: And then I'm here to tell you a few years later, I had kind of lost touch with thing.

[SPEAKER_00]: I got a phone call and let me know that he had completed what he had started.

[SPEAKER_00]: And he was no longer with us.

[SPEAKER_00]: Folks, I know this is a heavy topic, and I hope tonight to shed more light on it than to make you feel heavy, but here's the reality of it.

[SPEAKER_00]: We've all been in places where we were afraid of our thoughts, we were afraid of our emotions.

[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe we were scared that we didn't have any purpose in our pain.

[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe we didn't think there was any place in this world force.

[SPEAKER_00]: And some of us here have lost people close to us over the last few years that you knew very well.

[SPEAKER_00]: Did you know that 80% of suicides completed or men?

[SPEAKER_00]: That's four times the number of women.

[SPEAKER_00]: In 2021, it's the very first time that we pulled that people were more unhappy than happy.

[SPEAKER_00]: Before that, everybody always pulled happy or the most who were unhappy.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's flipped in 2021.

[SPEAKER_00]: And yet, the Bureau of Health workforce tells us that we have more psychotropic medication on the market,

[SPEAKER_00]: We have more psychotherapists available than ever before.

[SPEAKER_00]: And yet, we also have a shortage of mental health therapists in the United States.

[SPEAKER_00]: I've seen numbers as high as 500,000 short.

[SPEAKER_00]: I think that probably gets back to just the law of supply and demand.

[SPEAKER_00]: There's more people who have needs, then there's opportunities or people to help.

[SPEAKER_00]: This is why thank you, God, for his church.

[SPEAKER_00]: And you know that the statistics don't get any better when it comes to our youth bear with me.

[SPEAKER_00]: The second leading cause of death for ages 10 to 14 and 24 to 35 just suicide.

[SPEAKER_00]: That middle group ages what 15 to 24 is the third leading cause of death.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's a 62% increase from 2007 to 2021.

[SPEAKER_00]: According to the CDC, 62% increase.

[SPEAKER_00]: Now, since 2021, those numbers have actually come down again.

[SPEAKER_00]: I think we have to attribute that to God's people, to the church.

[SPEAKER_00]: What you do here, Matters folks, it matters.

[SPEAKER_00]: 20% of our youth last year thought about suicide, 10% attempted.

[SPEAKER_00]: And so when we think about these statistics and these heavy realities, there comes a question, like, okay, what do we do with this?

[SPEAKER_00]: All right, so here's where I'm gonna take us to the scriptures.

[SPEAKER_00]: Philippians chapter two is one of the most amazing passages in the Bible, and that passage, I want to focus just in just a minute on verse 12, but for now I wanna take us through the first several verses.

[SPEAKER_00]: The very premise of the book of Philippians is to find joy every day to pray always just be joyful and we have a lot of reasons to do that and then you wonder well how do we do that?

[SPEAKER_00]: But he made himself into nothing.

[SPEAKER_00]: He considered himself a servant.

[SPEAKER_00]: And he made himself obedient to death, even death on a cross.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's what he did for us.

[SPEAKER_00]: So our task is to have the mind of Christ.

[SPEAKER_00]: Paul goes on in Philippians.

[SPEAKER_00]: He says in verse 4, I think.

[SPEAKER_00]: So we're in that range.

[SPEAKER_00]: He says, look only not to your interests, but what?

[SPEAKER_00]: Also to the interests of others.

[SPEAKER_00]: And so again, he just kind of continues to outline his hammer in this thing.

[SPEAKER_00]: And then comes a verse that I think is very misunderstood in the church today.

[SPEAKER_00]: Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.

[SPEAKER_00]: I think that's very misunderstood passage of scripture.

[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm going to ask you guys to kind of help me with it for a minute if you will.

[SPEAKER_00]: You guys have that for some fun.

[SPEAKER_00]: Just a little bit.

[SPEAKER_00]: So I want to tack it three pieces.

[SPEAKER_00]: So this over here, you guys in the left.

[SPEAKER_00]: And then I'll have like, you did the middle crowd here and then this group over here to the right.

[SPEAKER_00]: So you're my workout crowd, all right?

[SPEAKER_00]: So whenever I point actually like this, I want you to go, whoah!

[SPEAKER_00]: Can you do that?

[SPEAKER_00]: Let's try it.

[SPEAKER_00]: Not good enough, try it again.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's what I'm talking about.

[SPEAKER_00]: You're working out, dude.

[SPEAKER_00]: Let's get it going.

[SPEAKER_00]: All right, so this group right here, you are my salvation crowd.

[SPEAKER_00]: And what I would like to hear from you when I point to you is, A, men, let's do it.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't have to do that twice, that was good.

[SPEAKER_00]: This is my fear and trembling crowd.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's okay, it's kind of cool, you ready?

[SPEAKER_00]: So when I point to you, what I want to hear you say is, Mufasa, okay, ready?

[SPEAKER_00]: Here we go, just a little bit cooler.

[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, good, that's actually really good.

[SPEAKER_00]: So here we go.

[SPEAKER_00]: All right, I want us to understand this passage of scripture because it's really important.

[SPEAKER_00]: As long as we understand what it means,

[SPEAKER_00]: So the Bible says it's to work out our own salvation.

[SPEAKER_00]: Right, so here's the thing.

[SPEAKER_00]: Whenever I go to the gym, it's got to never there.

[SPEAKER_00]: Whenever I go to the gym, what we do is we, actually not kidding, what are you working out today?

[SPEAKER_00]: Are you working out your shoulders, your arms, your back, your chest, your legs?

[SPEAKER_00]: So like people ask that question.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's kind of silly that we ask it, but I pay attention to the answer because I kind of want to know.

[SPEAKER_00]: If everybody's gonna be on bench, I'm doing something else.

[SPEAKER_00]: All right, wouldn't it be great?

[SPEAKER_00]: Wouldn't it be great if we in the church talk about the things that we were working out in our lives, in our character?

[SPEAKER_00]: For example, let's just say a buddy comes up and says, hey man, what are you working out?

[SPEAKER_00]: Man, I'm working on my I'm working on myself care.

[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yeah, what does that mean?

[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I'm trying to get better sleep because the Bible tells me that if I don't take good care of myself I'm gonna have nothing left for my neighbor So I want to have something left.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna take really good care of my my temple and I'm I'm getting better rest really That's awesome that you're working it out You're with me.

[SPEAKER_00]: You're so with me and Then that guy says, well, what what about you man?

[SPEAKER_00]: What are you working now?

[SPEAKER_00]: Shua, not yet

[SPEAKER_00]: We've got some gin rats over here, I can tell.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm working on my love for people.

[SPEAKER_00]: I have to confess that I did have to do this after 28 years of ministry.

[SPEAKER_00]: I had to work on it.

[SPEAKER_00]: So what are you doing to work on your love for people?

[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I'll say what I'm doing.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm asking God to put me in places where I have to.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm asking God to help me put on lenses where I see people in a different light.

[SPEAKER_00]: And then I put in myself in a ministry where I have to be nice to people.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, what's that?

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm a creator of the front door.

[SPEAKER_00]: I love that you're working it out.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, salvation crowd.

[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, say anything yet, I'm ready for this.

[SPEAKER_00]: All right.

[SPEAKER_00]: The Bible says to work out your own salvation.

[SPEAKER_00]: Here's the part that I think is so misunderstood.

[SPEAKER_00]: First of all, you're not really working out your salvation to be saved.

[SPEAKER_00]: You're working on salvation that you are standing on.

[SPEAKER_00]: I wish I had a dollar for every time somebody came to my office and was worried about their salvation.

[SPEAKER_00]: I wish more people were more worried about their sanctification, because the only thing I do in my salvation is lift my hands and say, help.

[SPEAKER_00]: I need you.

[SPEAKER_00]: I can't do this anymore.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know what I'm doing.

[SPEAKER_00]: I've been trying.

[SPEAKER_00]: I've been messing up.

[SPEAKER_00]: I need your help.

[SPEAKER_00]: Well done.

[SPEAKER_00]: He steps in.

[SPEAKER_00]: He rescues you from the dominion of darkness.

[SPEAKER_00]: And then after that, while you stand on your salvation, you get to work things out, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: But what does it you get to do?

[SPEAKER_00]: You get to do it in conjunction with other people.

[SPEAKER_00]: Because here's the piece that I think people don't get.

[SPEAKER_00]: Philippians 212 is not singular you.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's plural you.

[SPEAKER_00]: That means something different.

[SPEAKER_00]: Listen to this.

[SPEAKER_00]: My concern is that people are trying to do it by themselves.

[SPEAKER_00]: My concern is that they think that they're just working out their own little salvation all by themselves, and that is not what the Bible says.

[SPEAKER_00]: The Bible says that y'all need to work out y'all's salvation together.

[SPEAKER_00]: The salvation that you stand on.

[SPEAKER_00]: We want to work it out.

[SPEAKER_00]: Together.

[SPEAKER_00]: OK, we're not going to run from our emotions.

[SPEAKER_00]: God, I haven't weighed too much fun with this.

[SPEAKER_00]: We're not going to run from our emotions, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: We're going to allow them to live and breathe.

[SPEAKER_00]: We're going to allow them to flow through us.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to come back to the ways and just a minute.

[SPEAKER_00]: But I'm not going to be afraid of them.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not going to get rid of them, make more of them, deny them.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not even going to medicate them away so that I don't know that they're there.

[SPEAKER_00]: If people need help, that's different than allowing God to step in

[SPEAKER_00]: Because I don't want to run from something that is a part of my salvation.

[SPEAKER_00]: Because the Bible doesn't tell me to work at my salvation without it.

[SPEAKER_00]: It tells me to rely upon it.

[SPEAKER_00]: One of the best indicators of my sanctification process is what I'm learning to do with my emotions.

[SPEAKER_00]: You know what the word means?

[SPEAKER_00]: The word means king.

[SPEAKER_00]: I want Jesus to be the king of my emotions.

[SPEAKER_00]: Don't you?

[SPEAKER_00]: Well, how do we do this?

[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, Philippians 2 is pretty clear.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's telling us, look, I'm going to put on the mind of Christ.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to think about other people.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to stand on my salvation.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm going to work it out.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm going to use my feelings to do that.

[SPEAKER_00]: Right.

[SPEAKER_00]: How do I go about that?

[SPEAKER_00]: I have three directors tonight, and they're not necessarily all for you.

[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe just one.

[SPEAKER_00]: I doubt everyone needs all three of these things.

[SPEAKER_00]: We're gonna get on a recovery wagon.

[SPEAKER_00]: Now we talk about it celebrate recovery, talk about hersambus and haggots.

[SPEAKER_00]: Those are three different wagons.

[SPEAKER_00]: Now, again, that may be silly because some of you have been around here for a while, but we probably have first comeers tonight, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: We probably have new people in the room.

[SPEAKER_00]: And to get on a recovery wagon, what I mean is to make sure that you're working out the difference between your emotions and your feelings.

[SPEAKER_00]: Hmm, what's that?

[SPEAKER_00]: Here we go.

[SPEAKER_00]: I believe that emotions are like really strong ways.

[SPEAKER_00]: So this is some of my wife and I traveled down to Florida to system vacationing of the beach.

[SPEAKER_00]: We didn't pick the best days sometimes to be out there because there was one day it was an orange flag.

[SPEAKER_00]: Another day there was a red flag.

[SPEAKER_00]: Well, what you can't do on a red flag day is swim, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: But you can get out there on an orange flag and I like to take a little bit of risk.

[SPEAKER_00]: So I did, I'm not going to go past the breakers.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to kind of walk up to these things and just kind of how strong are you?

[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe in those things, not me down.

[SPEAKER_00]: I almost lost my glasses twice.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I had that little thing, y'all.

[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe they kind of keep some on my head.

[SPEAKER_00]: I almost do couldn't find in the second time.

[SPEAKER_00]: Waves do that, just like our emotions.

[SPEAKER_00]: You can't help it when you become angry.

[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, anger is kind of an automatic response.

[SPEAKER_00]: You can't help it when you get sad, when you get frustrated, when you have been dealing with these emotions for a long period of time, but we have the ability in Christ to choose what feelings flow from that.

[SPEAKER_00]: Somebody cuts me off in traffic and I'd get angry about that because I'm afraid they're trying to hurt somebody or I'm afraid for my life or people with me.

[SPEAKER_00]: I can allow that wave to hit me without a motion, but then I decide, takes work, to be compassionate, because I don't know what kind of day that person's had.

[SPEAKER_00]: I can be with people who bring anxiety in my life, and we work on this, but I can breathe peace from that anxiety.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not a slave to my emotions if I understand that my salvation is worked out using my feelings.

[SPEAKER_00]: The fear in trembling is a posture of respect, it's a posture of awe because I know that by myself, I can't do this.

[SPEAKER_00]: And Philippians tells us that this is a yall thing, not a me thing.

[SPEAKER_00]: So I just say that to those of you who haven't done this yet, get on a recovery wagon where you're able to distinguish the difference between the emotions that hits you and the feelings that you then can choose in community with others who help you work on this.

[SPEAKER_00]: This is a staples button.

[SPEAKER_00]: This is a process, second thing that we might can do.

[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe some of you all need to be driving a recovery wagon.

[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe it's time for you to step into a different place,

[SPEAKER_00]: You know, Hebrews 5 tells us that some of you by now ought to have moved beyond elementary teachings.

[SPEAKER_00]: The book of Hebrews is pretty clear that some of you might even need to have moved into a place of teaching.

[SPEAKER_00]: Now be careful with that one.

[SPEAKER_00]: because I don't think just because you've been in a particular place of ministry for a while that does mean that you're qualified to be a teacher.

[SPEAKER_00]: Why?

[SPEAKER_00]: Because the very next book of the Bible in James chapter 3 says, be very careful of those of you who decide to become teachers for you will incur a stricter judgment here and there.

James 3 · chapter mention

[SPEAKER_00]: But driving recovery wagon might just mean that you're going to start sitting in the right seat.

[SPEAKER_00]: I think the reason why so many believers fall off the recovery wagon is because they're sitting in the wrong seat.

[SPEAKER_00]: Someone says this.

[SPEAKER_00]: It says, Blessed is he who does not walk in the Council of the Wicked, stand in the way of sinners, or sit in the sea of scoffers.

[SPEAKER_00]: But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in his law he meditates the day and night he's like a tree, he's planted by streams of water, whatever he does prosperous, because he's decided to be in the right place at the right time.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to talk about taking that to new places in just a minute, but I really believe that sometimes what we need to do is start leading a wagon of recovery for other people and else some of you all get that because that's kind of where you're at right now.

[SPEAKER_00]: Now, let me share this last one with you.

[SPEAKER_00]: Some of us might need to be driving recovery wagon to new places.

[SPEAKER_00]: New for you.

[SPEAKER_00]: I think some of the most unsung spiritual gifts in the New Testament are as follows.

[SPEAKER_00]: These are heroic gifts, in my opinion, prayer, the gift of prayer.

[SPEAKER_00]: You don't need a congregational meeting to be a one-man, one-woman blessing machine.

[SPEAKER_00]: You don't need approval to go to people and ask them what they need and then offer up an encouraging prayer or just let them know that you've remembered what they had asked you to pray for and then go to them later and then tell them that you've been praying and then get enough that you don't need permission for that, you don't need permission

[SPEAKER_00]: Anybody can be in a courage or some people have a gift and when they do but it really stands out But we all can learn to be better in courage as right and you can walk through the aisles of the church body figuratively and Just lift people up And you're one of the most things that one of the most important things that you can do in the church To encourage people when we come together you ready for this?

[SPEAKER_00]: Remember their name

[SPEAKER_00]: Ask their name, remember their name, call them by name.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's always funny to me when I call somebody my name that I have only met once that I, and I don't always get this.

[SPEAKER_00]: I try to work hard at this.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's not like natural for me to work at it.

[SPEAKER_00]: But when I call somebody my name, I've met one time and they go, like, like, me, like, what?

[SPEAKER_00]: You know what that does for them?

[SPEAKER_00]: This is what that does for them.

[SPEAKER_00]: This is a friendly church.

[SPEAKER_00]: They think everybody does that.

[SPEAKER_00]: So drive it just in new places.

[SPEAKER_00]: Drive it in some places that maybe you haven't ever thought of before and see what using these gifts can do.

[SPEAKER_00]: One of my favorite gifts in the Bible in the New Testament is the gifts of help, helps.

[SPEAKER_00]: You know, as a pastor for 28 years, every, almost every time I was with people, I was preparing to lead, to preach, to teach, to

[SPEAKER_00]: to lead, to preach, to teach like all my time during the week was preparing messages and lessons and group meetings and elders meetings and it was very refreshing for me after my wife and I retired from 28 years of pulpit ministry to do some behind the scenes helping.

[SPEAKER_00]: In fact, we're never going to stop.

[SPEAKER_00]: I love it.

[SPEAKER_00]: Stuff that no one knows that I'm there for,

[SPEAKER_00]: Because Isaiah 43-19 is a key passage of Scripture.

[SPEAKER_00]: I want to read it out with you.

[SPEAKER_00]: Isaiah 43 verse 19, would you read this with me, please?

Isaiah 43:19

[SPEAKER_00]: See, I am doing a new thing.

[SPEAKER_00]: Now it springs up.

[SPEAKER_00]: Do you not perceive it?

[SPEAKER_00]: I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.

[SPEAKER_00]: You see, sometimes God makes a way on a path from stuff that's already there.

[SPEAKER_00]: But I can't see it.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know the way through.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know the way out.

[SPEAKER_00]: And then there's times where your faith gets stretched.

[SPEAKER_00]: And he pops up a river in a desert that wasn't there.

[SPEAKER_00]: Because you didn't see it because it wasn't there to see.

[SPEAKER_00]: And as we learn to allow those emotions to come in because they are a part of our salvation process.

[SPEAKER_00]: And we start breathing out feelings of hope, and joy, and peace.

[SPEAKER_00]: And it's not, I'm just gonna do it tomorrow.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna watch other people doing it also.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna learn better how to do it, watching one another.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm gonna literally find paths that we're already there.

[SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes,

[SPEAKER_00]: God pops a river up where you couldn't even imagine.

[SPEAKER_00]: When you see someone slipping away and you're reaching out and you're asking God to intercede and you're asking God to intervene, I'll tell you right now, this is a great place to be doing that, this is a great place to be sharing that.

[SPEAKER_00]: This is a great place for us to be modeling that sometimes God does exactly that.

[SPEAKER_00]: He pops a river up in a place that didn't exist before.

[SPEAKER_00]: In 1960, there's a meteorologist an MIT who his name was Edward Lorenz.

[SPEAKER_00]: And he was working on a particular computer model to monitor meteorological patterns.

[SPEAKER_00]: Well, we have that now available on our phones.

[SPEAKER_00]: All of us do.

[SPEAKER_00]: But he was running data points on this particular experiment.

[SPEAKER_00]: He'd been running it all day.

[SPEAKER_00]: And he thought he would just do it one more time.

[SPEAKER_00]: But every time before he was entering this particular data point, it was a 0.506127.

[SPEAKER_00]: And he didn't have that so many times.

[SPEAKER_00]: He thought, well, I'm just going to say myself a little bit of time this time, and I have something I hope I have to do.

[SPEAKER_00]: So he entered 0.506.

[SPEAKER_00]: He dropped the 127.

[SPEAKER_00]: Didn't think it mattered.

[SPEAKER_00]: When did his thing came back?

[SPEAKER_00]: When he came back, he couldn't believe what he saw.

[SPEAKER_00]: He could not believe the different model that existed in this particular trial because he dropped off 0.001 to 7.

[SPEAKER_00]: And he says, it was the equivalent of the puff of wind created by a butterfly.

[SPEAKER_00]: We now call that the what?

[SPEAKER_00]: The butterfly effect, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: Small things, small changes.

[SPEAKER_00]: They could be different.

[SPEAKER_00]: You are not insignificant.

[SPEAKER_00]: Let me say that better.

[SPEAKER_00]: You are significant.

[SPEAKER_00]: Everyone here is here to help all of us recover from a world that God created and it was good and it was very good and one day he's going to set it all right amen.

[SPEAKER_00]: And the distance between is where we're at right now.

[SPEAKER_00]: Let's do it together.

[SPEAKER_00]: Would you pray with me, please?

[SPEAKER_00]: Father, we want to thank you for the truth, a scripture that reminds us that we can work on our salvation together, that you have already given to us, and that we can do it in conjunction.

[SPEAKER_00]: We can do it in a way that brings blessing and grace and love to people that others can see.

[SPEAKER_00]: Father, thank you for the love in this place.

[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for the energy that you create, and Lord, I just bless each one here and the families that are represented that everyone here would feel your peace tonight, Lord, that they would recognize that we can help each other, that we can breathe out the fruit of your spirit, and giving you all the glory, Father, we thank you, and Jesus, holy name, and all God's people said.