Criteria for Finding a Mate - Part 2 | Pastor Paul McGee

As far as announcements, I don't really believe, I really don't

check the classroom. I don't really believe there is

anything two weeks from now, the National Youth Convention for

those who are going, there will be no service that night.

Anything going on here that night, All right, That Wednesday

of Thanksgiving, there won't be anything, nothing.

All right, so to spend time with your family and those that are

at NYC will be in church. You can go on church, it'll be

live, I'm sure there. So you can go to church and be a

part of that. But there won't be anything

going on that Wednesday here at the church after this Wednesday.

Just one more Wednesday with criteria for finding the mate

and and then we will be in connect groups in the month of

December. And so tonight, next Wednesday

will be the last Bible study session for this season, will be

again reverting to connect groups in December.

And so they'll be information stuff coming forth in the

connect group page concerning those type of things.

We will be doing men and women connect groups and then teenage

connect groups as we did last time again this coming time.

All right, so just be aware of that.

Also, I'll go on the forecast just a little bit.

Would there are calendars, by the way, there's calendars on

the bulletin board that denotes different things that's going

on. There's two that's going on.

The church we have this month of November, December back there on

the bulletin board that you can look back at and apprise

yourself of what's taking place. Ignite Christmas Party is

supposed to be December the 6th. All right, we'll talk about the

Christmas parties, right? It's that time of year, right?

The most wonderful time of year, ladies, Christmas party will be

on December the 12th. That's a Thursday at 6:30.

And then the very next day, the 13th, is the adult Christmas

party at 6:30 as well. Candlelight service this year is

not going to be on the Wednesday.

It's going to be on a Sunday night, all right, the last

Sunday night before Christmas, which is the 22nd.

That evening service will be our candlelight service rather than

a Wednesday. All right, all that's back

there. So you're like, I didn't catch

one thing I'm trying to write. It's back there on the board.

You can look at it price yourself of that a man and stay,

stay connected. We're going to be turning to

Genesis chapter 24. All right, appreciate everybody

Genesis 24 · chapter mention

affording my wife and I have the opportunity to get away on the

anniversary trip. All right, and everybody that

filled in. I know there's a lot of hands

involved. I've made it through three of

the five services so far, probably 3 1/2 more so because I

listen from start to finish just like I read my books.

And so I'm about 3 1/2 services in and I've heard the word of

the Lord and the singing and everything that's taking place

around here. So we tip our hats, of course,

to Bishop and the Masons and the Zach Melinda Mcgees and all of

those ministry teams that have helped and others that have

helped along the way. Genesis chapter #24 in verse 11.

We started a couple weeks ago, criteria for finding a mate.

We got through two criteria, all right.

And so we're going to delve into some others here tonight.

We're reading here the the longest verse wise chapter in

Genesis. And it's about a servant that's

finding the mate for his master's son, Abraham's son.

Starting verse 11. The Bible states these words and

he made his camels to kneel down without the city by a well of

water. And the he that's made reference

to there is this eldest servant at the time of the evening, even

the time that women go out to draw water.

And he said, O Lord God of my master Abraham, I pray thee,

send me goodspeed this day. Shew me kindness into my master

Abraham. Behold, I stand here by the well

of water, and the daughters of the men of the city come out to

draw water, and let it come to pass that the damsel to whom I

shall say Let down by pitcher, pray thee that I may drink.

She shall say, drink. I will give thy camels drink

also, but the same be she that thou hast appointed for thy

servant Isaac and thereby shall I know that thou hast shoot

kindness unto my master Again. This is criteria finding the

mate part number 2. All right, we're going to pray

ask the Lord to help us tonight. Father, I pray Lord in this

setting tonight that you have to help us the Lord God that this

would Lord be of a tool of guidance.

Perhaps for someone that's in that position.

God of a single Lord, whether Lord is single by widowhood or a

widower or Lord Jesus divorce or God perhaps just never been

married before. I pray God that you have to help

us God, not just those that are sing, but that's Lord as well to

have children and grandchildren. Lord as we help Lord direct and

guide Lord tabs and footsteps. Lord navigate these waters.

So Lord Jesus that come to each of us.

The lovely name of Jesus Christ that I pray Hallelujah and Amen

of the church say Amen, Amen. God bless you this evening.

You may be seated in Jesus name, all right #2 the person with the

incompatible spiritual appetite, all right.

Or continue to date them after you have learned this or have

had this type of enlightenment. So we'll go on tonight in verse

number, verse #12 note that the servant has has came to the

location. He has come to the city of

Abraham's relatives, which Abraham gave the instruction for

that he was to go back to his kin, his relatives, and to find

the mate for his son. So he has followed back to the

tee. He has went back to the place of

Haram. He's outside of the city where

the city well is where people come to get their water, which

notably, it was typically women who came and drew water from the

well. And so he's there and it's an

evening time. And that was typically also the

time that they would come and draw the water.

That's the reason why the gospels when we see Jesus

meeting the woman at the well during more of a daytime thing,

it's kind of a peculiar scenario because that's not typically

when a women would go draw water from a well.

And so the servant is here. He's followed thus far the

prescription of Abraham, but now he, he goes to a place of, of

the trial of how he'll know the right individual is the right

individual for, for his, his master's son.

And he kneels down and he's talking to God.

All right. He's saying, oh Lord, my master

Abraham, I pray thee, send me. He's he's talking to God.

He is praying, the servant is praying.

And as a matter of fact, you can read a lot of different

commentaries and people's notes on this, but scholars say that

this is the first recorded instance of prayer for specific

guidance. All right, we're being very

detailed for specific guidance in Scripture.

And if that's the case that that that gives some credence, I

think again to again, the fact of how important it is in

choosing a mate, being that if this was the first prayer that

was used for very detailed and specific guidance of prayer to

God, it was then used for the purpose of finding who that

significant other should be for someone.

And so I think that's important to consider.

And so being so he prays into God for guidance to know who is

the right one. And he he put some things out

there, some indicators that he hopes is met that will guide him

in the right individual. But the third then criteria then

to find the mate should be this pray for guidance and be

specific in your prayer. Pray for guidance and be

specific in your prayer. What amazes me as as a pastor,

just part of the human fabric is that I've seen the known people

to pray for all kinds of things, right?

I mean, we'll pray for washing machines when they don't work.

We'll pray for the gas, you know, the fumes that that car

could go on maybe a few more miles on the fumes that's in the

tank. Because we had enough faith that

we could do it whenever we did pass the last gas station.

You know, I've seen people pray about their careers, about homes

that they're going to buy. You don't want to make sure it's

God's will the right thing. I've heard people pray about

their cars. People for sure all the time

we're praying about health issues or tests that are coming

up as far as issues in their life that they're going to pray

over and finances. And we'll do all that and

sometimes not even pray about who we're going to spend the

rest of our life with, huh? Pray about whether or not I

should cut the grass today, Lord.

But we, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm not trying to minimize our

prayers, but I'm just saying we pray about a lot of things.

And then we could leave that aspect totally.

God doesn't hear from us about a potential mate.

And so, you know, I think it's important because God intended

and I say this, I understand there's dysfunction that

happens, there's broken homes and things that happened.

But from the beginning, he says it in the Gospels as well,

talking about a man finding a woman and they were asking him

about a bill of divorce. And he was just said from the

beginning it was not so although that through Moses and stuff

there could be something that came about that gave an

allowance or permission for that he still emphasized and under

score from the beginning. It was not so.

And so that meant then that the AB and the Adam and the Eve that

that first family that put to get God intended to be a

perpetual thing till death. Do you part all right that that

that was the intention of God for that not to change.

And so it would seem important, I think, to pray about then who

I'm going to be involved with that God from the beginning

expected that would last perpetually.

All right. And so we need to ask for

guidance, ask for some guidance concerning these things.

And after he asked for guidance, notice what the servant did.

He prays for guidance. Lord, let let me find the God of

Abraham. Let me find the right individual

for your son. Then he puts himself in a place

where he may encounter a godly mate for Isaac.

He's at the well where women's going to come and where they're

going to draw water. He's at the well outside of the

city where Abraham said, my kindred and my people are that

are going to be faithful that have had this separation for

this many years, set apart unto God.

So he's not just he's not just praying, but he's positioning

himself in a place where there is a likelihood of finding a

godly mate for Isaac, right? So here he is.

He's at the, I mean, folks, he's just right at the divine

intersection of finding the godly mate.

Amen. And so, you know, we could

sometimes be at home and you know, we're single, like, oh

God, I need a mate and we should pray at home.

And that's fantastic. We need to do that.

But I think it's not impossibility for maybe Mr. so

and so to show up at your door and ring your doorbell and you

open. And it's like, this is what I

was praying for. He, he, he hears.

And, and listen, I folks, please, I don't want to be, I

don't want to be counting off on people that may be in that

position. Please, I, please.

OK, We can have a little fun, right?

So I'm not saying that that can't happen, but I'm just

saying it, it may not happen that way.

It may not happen that so that way.

And so since that's the case, we might need to be putting

ourselves in positions where a godly make can be found, where a

godly make can be found. He goes to the well, he prays

for guidance. He goes where there may be some

possible prospects for Isaac and we come to find out that he

finds that prospect, but he's in a position in the place where

that may happen. And that's the reason why we

incurred. Listen, I have no problem if a

young person wants to go to a rally because there might be

someone at the opposite sex there.

That's probably not the only reason why they go, but I'm OK

if that's one of the reasons why they go.

I have no problem. Someone's going to NYC in a

couple weeks because they might find a maybe a mate or someone

there camp meeting as a result of that.

So where McGee, I just don't know about, well, where do you

want him to go? Where you want to go?

So yeah, absolutely. They, they want to visit another

Apostolic Church while they're having revival and such and go,

Oh yeah. And possibly they maybe they're

position themself or maybe they're positioning themself for

a answered prayer. So we, we can't, we can't just

stick our heads in the sands. We, we got to pray for guidance,

but we also need to position ourselves for possibility,

Right? Amen.

And so, yeah, go to the camp means go to the fall conference,

go to whatever church function there is, where there's going to

be the intermingling, if you will, of the opposite sex of a

believer, where maybe something like that could happen,

chemistry could take place or whatever, you know, may happen.

And so I, you know, I, I have no problem with it.

I think that's important. I think they should, I think we

should encourage them to do so. I'd much rather them go there

then, then, then go to the mall or to a bar or, or some club

around town or Amen. And here's the thing, if you

send them, if you're going to come to this possible place of,

of a church or some type of setting like that, you can

observe, notice the servant could observe how the women

interacted with the whale because they can see how he can

see how vital the whale is to them.

That place of refreshment, that's what the whale was for

their life, that place of refreshment for their life, how

vital it was to them. And so whenever you go to these

type of settings and you prayed for guidance and you position

yourself, you can even observe how people interact with the

whale. That's right.

Amen. Someone say Amen.

So he prayed for guidance as the women came out to draw water.

You see that verse #13 he prays for guidance as they're coming

out to, to, to draw water from the well.

Important. He didn't take notice of them

how they looked and then start praying.

He prayed on their way out to the well.

He didn't start calculating their actions and then pray for

guidance. He prayed for guidance Spurs.

Sometimes we want to pray after we've taken inventory that right

there. Now I start praying on that.

No, if you do that, if you do that, you might be not be open

to the guidance that he's really given because you already got

personal. You already got personal

interest. See blonde, blue, you know,

blonde headed, blue eyed and whatever.

Because emotions are strong, folks.

Human emotions are strong. All throughout Scripture we see

human emotions so strong, it made people go against the will

of God. Amen.

So we can't necessarily always trust that that the heart is

desperately wicked. Who can know it?

Jeremiah said, Yeah, all those little memes out there, I let

your heart make me vomit. Every little every little saying

on Facebook, you don't need to repost because not all of them

is true. I'm sure not all biblically

true. All of your heart.

I'll give you a laundry list of some people did that.

Amen. And so here they are.

He he no doubt as individuals, right?

We have our own little we have our own little likes or

dislikes. Or do you have your list?

Were you ever single and had your list right?

I'd like to be like such and such height, right?

You ever had your list of things, of criteria that was in

your head, right? So sometimes we got to allow God

to massage your list. You know, we got to do that

prayer for guidance first. You know, he's 6 foot two.

I'm not talking about myself, but I am 62.

He's 6 foot 2. This is where, you know, I'm not

talking about myself. His stomach's like a washboard

from the ode. Not me on air.

Blue highs got a set chin. I used to say, you know, his

phone number has seven digits. His annual income has 6.

Genesis 2414. I want to read it again and let

it come to pass. This is the servant brain.

This this is the test he's setting up.

And let it come to past in his prayer.

That the damsel to whom I shall say, Let down thy pitcher, I

pray thee that I may drink, and she shall say, drink, and I will

give thy camels drink also. Let the saying, be she that thou

has appointed for thy servant Isaac, Thereby shall I know that

thou has she kindness unto my master #4.

Criteria is this don't manipulate result.

He's given a specific prayer into the Lord, specific prayer

into the Lord that if this is met and that is met, then I'll

know this is the one that is appointed and to my servant.

Sometimes when we do that and what God appoints and what we

appoint don't match, we start playing with the variables.

We start interpreting the results.

So the servant's prayer in some regards is like a fleece.

We talk about fleece in the Lord.

That's like from the story of Gideon when he put the fleece on

the ground, he said, Lord let it be wet on the fleece, dry on the

ground. The next time he said let it be

wet on the ground and dried. That if these certain things are

met. All right, if these were met,

then I'll know. I'll know that this is the one

and no one of them. One of the things that are met

is something that he'll ask for. He'll ask for a drink.

But the other thing that is meant is something that he

doesn't ask for. It's unspoken.

She has to be perceptible enough to meet the need, and that is to

water his camels. He doesn't say.

He doesn't say that he's going to ask her to water the camels.

He's expecting the appointed one to pick up on that.

His camels need watering and she's going to offer to do that

in addition to what he has asked of her.

If I can say it like this, he's looking for someone to go the

extra mile. Listen, you want somebody that

you're going to invite into your forever relationship that's

going to be willing to go the extra mile because it's not all

honeymoon and it's not all kisses and it's not all, you

know, dinner's on Friday at some lavish place and they're opening

the car door for you. It's not them always making your

lunch and all that stuff. There's sometimes it's, it can

be quite gross. I'm just saying, do you ever

care for a loved one whenever they're sick and they have no

control of themselves? You want someone that's going to

be able to go the extra mile when things are messy, when

things don't feel so love. Amen.

You want someone going to be able to go the extra mouth.

And so this damsel is going to give a drink unto the camels

without him asking. And so notice his prayer.

Notice his prayer. His prayer is not focusing on

her appearance. We'll talk about this in a

little bit. Don't get me wrong, I think you

need to be attracted to whoever you're going to marry.

But you being attracted to them and me being attracted to them

are two different. What's attracted to you may not

be attracted to me. All right, but he didn't start

with the appearance or that she was wealthy or that, you know,

his five point list of Isaacs wasn't any of that.

So, so here's this prayer, this, this lease, and he's asking God

to meet this and this his. His prayer is different than

that of Gideon's where the fleece is.

Gideon prayed his prayer with the fleece because he doubted

God. God already told him what he was

going to do. He used his fleece because he

needed God to reassure himself that he meant what he said.

That's not the proper way to use a fleece.

Really. You shouldn't have to have a

fleece to confirm what God said is true.

All right? Israel had 40 years of wondering

because they couldn't accept God at his word, OK.

And so he's using this really to to determine a, a result to

determine who was appointed. All right, look at this.

I mean, this is a Sir, we have an advantage today.

It's not like he had the first five books of the Bible or any

of the Bible per SE that he's going to go through and read and

glean some type of education or direction or had the Proverbs

with all of its little tidbits of wisdom that he could go to.

You don't have that. All right, Didn't have any of

that. All he has is just the two

criteria that Abraham gave him. But beyond that, he, he needed

some God help in this episode. Listen, I've got we got the

Bible today and we still need some God help in this episode.

We got just Revelation. We still need, we got, we got,

you know, Christian counselors, all that stuff.

We still need. Listen, we always will need God

help in this issue. If this is a covenant that

involves God and it does some people approach it as a

contract, but this is really a covenant.

And when it's a covenant, it's involving God.

It's going to involve him, then I need his say so in the matter.

Amen. So I want, I want to discover

what God wants for me. I don't, I don't want to discern

something different from what God wants or, or from what God

has revealed in his word. No, I want to discover what God

wants. And so my advisor voice of

counsel me personally, here's the thing for me personally, my

voice is silenced in anybody's life the moment they put down

this trump card. Here's the trump card.

Well, I've prayed about it. I've prayed about it and Phil

XYZ. And once they've prayed about it

XYZ, who am I to say anything about your prayer?

But have you prayed with a conscience that is clear and

have prayed according to God's will?

And was the answer you heard from God, or was it the internal

dwellings of your own heart and mind?

But once you prayed about it, I have no argument.

You prayed about it. I'm not going to discount your

prayer, all right? Although there are sometimes I

wish it, I could say so, but I know it won't do no good because

there's sometimes I know. Here's a good indicator #1 If

what your answer a prayer was does not conform with what the

Word says, alarms. Alarms, right?

God's going to not tell you something different than he's

already told you in his room. They will coincide.

Hand in glove will not be something different.

It's not like, oh, I'm going to, you know, amend that God.

God doesn't do that, Amen. And so the saying, you prayed

about it and you got your answer with that, that's the trump

card, Amen. One thing for sure, we want to

check our answers against His word, check what we're feeling

against His word verse #15 going on.

I need to lift up my feet and put them down.

And it came to pass before He had done speaking.

We're continuing in Genesis 24. Before he had done, when he

hadn't finished praying yet, that behold, Rebecca came out,

who was born to Bethuel, son of Milta, the wife of Nahor,

Abraham's brother, with her picture upon her shoulder.

Now we understand that the writer here of Genesis is

supplying a lot of information to us in this moment.

It's not like that was written all over her forehead for the

servant to see her ancestry, right?

All right, so there's a lot being supplied for us.

Verse #16 And the damsel was very fair to look upon.

All right. Isaac, a virgin.

Neither had any man known her, And she went down to the well

and filled her pitcher and came up.

So the servant is not quite done praying.

And behold, here is Rebecca coming out to the well.

All right, this, this is one of the kindred of Abraham.

Again, the writer is supplying that information to us.

But here's criterion #5 as as we wade into it.

Don't compromise character for comeliness.

I'm talking about comeliness. I'm talking about appearance.

I'm talking about beauty. Don't compromise character.

It's like, well, they have a few little character falls, but boy,

they're a knockout or he's handsome.

You know, I, I can deal with that little thing here because

and they float my boat. My ship is selling.

But don't compromise character or comeliness.

Notice the first thing that the servant recognized about

Rebecca. It's in verse 15, Verse 16, yes,

we hear that she was very fair, but in verse #15 we understand

that he notices that she has a picture on her shoulder.

She's laborious. She's laboring here.

She's going out to draw water. Wow, this is starting to.

There's a possibility. Lord, you know, my prayer was

about giving me drink by camel's drink.

She's got a picture. She got a picture that's on her

shoulder. All right.

So her intent no doubt is going to be the well.

All right. And so she's going to the well.

And he doesn't, though, at that moment, just like, you know,

stop the press. You're the one.

Yeah, I need to talk to you. No, he doesn't.

He doesn't just, you know, go full headlong into it at that

moment. He doesn't start that.

You're not. You're the one I've been looking

for for myself. No, No, he doesn't say all that.

Then it says secondary to the picture being on her shoulder.

Then he said, and she's very fair to look upon and scripture

includes and the writer includes that she was a virgin, that she

was pure. Now, please, I said, listen, you

want to marry someone that you are physically attracted to,

right? That's important.

Don't say it used to be the beauty is only skin deep, but

uglies to the bone. Or folks, if you're not

attracted to it, Sister Erica, just let that ship sail.

I'm telling you the truth. It is in the eyes of the holder.

Again, it may not be beautiful. You're whoever may not be

attractive to me, but that's OK. That's not going to be my future

spouse, huh? I married somebody that was

attractive to me. What's beautiful one?

Maybe not beautiful to another, but can I tell all of us,

everybody saying me that are on the peripheral of other people

trying to find their mate? Be careful how you criticize

what somebody else deems as beautiful, because I'd hate to

be the voice that's swaying them away from what God has

appointed. All right, cares if they're not

attracted, if they're attracted, that person, Hallelujah.

So there's this picture, right? It's on Rebecca's shoulder.

So here he is. And we might have a possibility

here, you know, and to look at the, she has a picture on her

shoulder and hey, she kind of Fair, you know, she kind of a

hot Mama too, you know, walking down with that picture on her

shoulder down to the well, I got to admit.

All right. But that's not the only thing

that we're interested in here, right?

So there should be physical attraction, but that shouldn't

be the only thing that we're interested in.

Genesis 29 and verse 17, it tells the story of two ladies

that was in Jacob's life, who was his two wives.

All right. The Bible says in Genesis 2917,

Leah was tender eyed, but Rachel was beautiful and well favored.

If I'd say like this, she Rachel was beautiful, her appearance

and she was well favored. She was kind of popular.

She had a popularity. She was well favored.

When you start looking at the two, Leah and Rachel, right?

And we know, we know that that Leah was the oldest and by the

law it was the oldest that should get married before the

youngest. And so whenever Jacob had his

wedding night, and here's Leah heavily veiled, the Bible says

in the morning, it was Leah, right?

He thought he was getting Rachel, he got Leah, Amen.

He has children with both, all right, but he seemed to have a

love and some type of aspiration, Amen, toward Rachel.

However, when we look at the two, consider some of these

things Leah in scripture as you watch Leah's story and Rachel's

story. Leah desired Jacob's love.

Rachel desired what she could get as a result of Jacob's love.

Give me children, give me children, give me children.

Leah was very calm very soon be very resigned to her lot.

Rachel, we see her a lot of times, irritable especially.

She didn't get her way immediately.

In Scripture, you can look at the stories again.

I've looked at them, look at them again.

Leah outlived Rachel. Leah was even tempered.

Rachel had during some crisis, kind of flown off the handle a

little bit here and there. Leah was dependable.

Leah was faithful. And Rachel in many respects was,

was inconsistent. Just didn't, you know, just

didn't know what side Rachel he was going to get that day.

Leah and her handmaid bore twice as many children as Rachel and

her handmaid. Leah bore Judah, from which came

the Messiah. Leah bore Levi, from which came

the Old Testament priesthood. Leah was a giver.

Rachel was more so of a taker. Leah, when life was over, was

buried in the family grave. Rachel was entombed to where she

died. Jacob chose a wife and said I

love, I love, I love Rachel. He chose a wife really based

upon appearance and popularity. She's beautiful, she's well

favored, but that doesn't harmonize with the words of

Solomon whenever he wrote Proverbs a chapter.

Yes, I know that sometimes I think can be overrated.

And I say that please graciously Proverbs 31 like a Proverbs 31

woman. You know, if you're always going

to measure yourself by the Proverbs 31 woman, you're going

to feel horrible, right? A lot of things in Proverbs are

telling us what is ideal, and then there's reality.

But nonetheless, he's given us a little tidbit of advice.

And so in the later years of his life, Solomon even ignored his

own advice, all right, that he gave in Scripture about taking

strange women and, and as a result, they're gods.

And it changed his heart. Women who were popular, all

right, That they were princesses, they were daughters

of kings and so on and so forth and beautiful and lavish people,

but void of character, all right.

And so, but prior to his mistake in Proverbs 31, read through

Proverbs 31. I think what's important to look

at is that it's littered with all type of character traits,

character, if I say character, character traits.

And a lot of the popularity that the problems 31 woman has is

that which is spoken by her husband and her children, her

husband and her children. So we have this long lengthy

description. There's not really much said

about her appearance. The Bible talks to us about how

her clothing is strengthened honor.

But in verse 30 of Proverbs 31, it says this.

It says favor is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman that

feareth the Lord, she shall be praised, Favor that popularity,

that that that well, favoredness that likeliness, beauty that

appearance. He says this is deceitful

disrespect. But a woman that feareth or that

is all struck by God shall be praised.

That goes both ways. Men or women, you need to find

somebody that has an all, an all for the Lord.

ALLANAAWE an all for the Lord. Look at verse #17 and the

servant, she has the picture on the shoulder.

She's going to the whale. And the servant ran to meet her

and said, Let me, I pray thee, drink a little water of thy

picture. And she said, Drink, my Lord,

And she hasted and let down her pitcher upon her hand, and gave

him drink. And when she had done giving him

drink, she said, Look, this is UN, this is unsolicited.

She said, I will draw water for thy camels also, until they have

done drinking. And she hasted and emptied her

pitcher into the through and ran again into the well to draw

water, and drew for all his camels.

All right, folks, if you look back at verse #10 this spot, he

had 10 camels. 10 camels. So God's answer to the servant's

prayer. Notice it wasn't in the form of

a voice. It wasn't as though some grand

miracle took place in order for him to know.

It's not as though heavens opened up or some visible Angel

appeared. Except, you know, of course,

Rebecca, and there's no great spiritual demonstration or sign,

you know, flashing through the sky.

There's just a practical illustration of someone who's

willing again to go the extra mile.

She went to the well, right? And wells in those days were,

were typically not just even the drawstring, you know, of a rope

and a bucket type thing that you might see in your mind.

Wells many times had steps that led down to where the water was

and so she she takes these this descent down to where the water

was and she comes back out with this pitcher full of water.

He meets her. He asked the question she

hastens. It's important in scripture that

we see that she hastens and she tips it down for him to drink.

He asked for a little water and she's like saying drink anything

that I ever read concerning this is as though he asked for a

little and she's like ready to give him beyond what he asked

right. She's like, drink, drink as much

as you want, drink until you're fully satisfied.

And she's not hesitating to do this.

She's hastening to do this. And then to add to it, she

notices something that he doesn't even ask and says, you

know, I notice you got 10 camels there.

You've been on a journey. No doubt I'll water the camels

also. Now it wasn't uncommon.

Please listen. It wasn't uncommon in those

days. For if a traveler was coming

through and they were at the wealthy appointed time when

women came out for them to offer or give drink to a traveler,

that was not uncommon at all. But to water their animals, that

wasn't customary. She had a sensitivity to a need

and agreed to meet it. She wasn't selfish or

self-serving, she was other serving.

Let me tell you what will cure 75% or more of marital problems.

Instead of trying to get what you want, serve the other one.

And if both entered the picture with the mindset to serve each

other, guess what? What you want gets met.

But when you're fighting just over your ground of what I want,

he's fighting over what he wants.

Nobody gets what they want or need.

And I'm not saying this now. I've been passive for a few

years. I've had a lot of people go to

that office. I've had the place we do prepare

and enrich. I've had them reach out to me to

be a facilitator because I've had so many people that I've

used the program for. I denied them that is to be a

facilitator enough people that that would cure a lot of issues,

right? I want to, I want this and I

want to be loved. I want this and I want that and

I want this and I want that. We have this long list of lists.

Well, guess what? The other problem person

probably has some of those things too.

But when you're always fighting for yourself, she says I notice

a need. He doesn't even have to ask

concerning the need. She meets the need.

You want that type of person in your life.

And I please understand, I know we can't read minds, all right?

I know sometimes we got to voice things in our marriages.

I understand that totally. But you want people that's going

to be able to take up some initiative right in your

marriage and within your home and your family.

And so she's going to water all teen camels.

At the end of the day, a camel may drink 25 to 30 gallons of

water. At the end of the day of

traveling, they're going to drink between 25 to 30 gallons

of water. The ancient jars of that day,

the top of the line, the ancient jars held more, no more than 3

gallons of water. First of all, 25 to 30 gallons

of water for 10 camels. You're talking about 250 to 300

gallons of water that possibly those camels needed.

When you're speaking about the ancient jars at the top level

held no more than 3 gallons, You're talk, huh?

You take 3 and put that into 300 gallons of water, you're talking

about maybe 80 to 100 trips. Are you going to satisfy the

thirst of those 10 camels? She's not selfish.

Be afraid of so she could shut up.

I'm getting water from my family.

I'm going home. You know what I'm saying?

I can't you, you wasn't on my gender purpose today.

You know, meeting you out here, Mr. I don't mind, you know,

giving you some drink. Forget about your 10 camels.

No, no, no. What she got, she is in a fact,

in a way mirroring Christ. He came to be not to serve, not

to be served, but to serve. He became a ransom, the

scripture says for many, right? His whole life was a life of

sacrifice. And so we see them in Ephesians.

We see this constant model reminder of Christ and His

church. So there is not a self-serving

mentality, but there is a serving the other Christ,

serving his bride. Everybody doing OK.

It's feeling thick in here and I just got back.

Amen. So she made the offer, She made

the offer. And when she makes the offer,

being one that draws water, listen, she already realizes the

sacrifice. She signed up to you hearing me.

She's she's not ignorant. She knows about camels.

She this is the day for all that livestock, camels drawing what

she knows all about. So when she offered she she

signed up for the sacrifice. She knew that was going to take

honey, Oh God help me whenever I stood up there and I said I do

folks, it is a lot of people prepare for wedding and don't

prepare for the marriage, right. We spend dollars and we spend

time and we have rehearsal. We have rehearsal for We need to

have marriage rehearsals rather than wedding rehearsals.

Huh. Because when we stand up here,

you want to know whenever you sign that marriage certificate,

you want to know that the sacrifice that you're signing up

for that do his part and sickness and health, all those

are more than just flowery words of some traditional vows.

That's real life. It's real life.

So character for for her character is a vital part of

becoming the missus Isaac, right?

Character is number six. We got a, we're doing OK, but #6

this is one of my favourites just because of the way that I

felt the word it 12 years ago. Players are for games, not

relationships. Players are for games, not

relationships. So after seeing her come out

with a picture on her shoulder, that servant promptly ran to

meet her. He ran to meet her.

He didn't. He didn't start to touch all the

emotional sides of her and lead her on.

He didn't lead her. Yeah, I'm kind of, you know, he

did start. He didn't do all the suave male

stuff that sometimes male do. And they mess with the emotions

of a female knowing they're not going to commit to her.

Can I say that again? Males hear me online wherever.

Stop playing with the emotions of females just because you know

you can lead them in two directions you think are

promising that you know are never going to go there, but you

just need the attention. Because people play stupid

games. They're stupid relationship

games. Honey, I'm thirsty.

She's like, well, you look like a tall glass of water to me.

She offers to supply the drink. And then these are the types of

games that are played today. I don't need it.

I'm just telling you, I know that seems very archaic, but

those are the games that people are playing.

Guys are leading ladies on emotionally to a place and then

they're like other other fish to catch other places to go.

They leave them very intently, vivaciously with emotions and

then just drop them till they can go prey on another lady.

And again, what they really have issues with, they need

attention. They have a problem.

Oh God. I don't know if their mom and

dad didn't, you know, coddle them or nurse them or whatever,

but they, they're just needing some attention.

And so they're going to find it from any available female that

will fall into their, you know, savvy words and attention that

they give. And then women on the other

hand, they know just how to do the right touch, right.

Women, most are driven by emotion, but men, they like that

touch. Hand on the shoulder and the

hand on the knee. God forbid you move it to the

thigh on the inside, leave them just far enough and long enough

to then, you know, you then put up the stop sign like, Oh no no,

no no. And so you start playing with

the raging hormones, a physical touch of a man.

Players are for games, not for relationships.

It's hard to get games, folks. We're not teenagers.

If you are teenagers, stop doing that garbage.

Well, you know no means yes and yes means means no.

What is that scripture says That you're yay be yay and your Navy

nay, Huh. You got to be careful.

The Song the Solomon about the Shulamite, the beloved, you know

what her cry was three different times in the Song of Solomon?

She says stir not up nor awaken my love.

She's not talking about because he's asleep.

She's saying if you're going to start in any type of emotional

or physical relationship with him, you could awaken things in

him. You can awaken some things in

him that shouldn't be awakened until he's married and that goes

both ways. So you're going to stir

something up in him and awaken something in him.

So don't stir him up. No, no, no.

So Rebecca, Rebecca wasn't playing any games either.

Rebecca, again, she's doing what she's doing without the

knowledge of the Servants intent or what his purpose is, right?

She wasn't put, she wasn't putting on, right?

Because that happens sometimes. You got to watch for it.

That happens. I want to do and be whatever you

are interested in me doing and being, huh?

Right. Once they figure out what your

type is, oh, you're the churchy type.

I can, I can, I can fly that plane, huh?

You like kids type? I can show attention to

children, you hear me? Right now, they become what they

think that you are looking for, huh?

But Rebecca, she doesn't have any knowledge, and she's already

doing what he's looking for. Without the knowledge.

Without the knowledge, everybody doing all right.

So be careful for the facades. Some people just come to church

as long as they think they have a chance.

And then whenever the chance is gone, you know what usually

happens? They're not there no more.

It doesn't always have to say read McGee.

I know it. I know it doesn't always happen,

but I'm saying why play the risk?

I know what song you like, I'll play it on my violin so You Can

Dance. That's just how it goes #7 I'm

hurrying. So again, players are for games,

not for relationships. Listen, let's even back up a

little bit. Let me say this.

If the person you're dating is not someone you can see yourself

marrying, you probably shouldn't even be dating them.

Don't just have someone to have someone.

I don't care. I don't care if there's other

people you know of whatever you know.

Well, they do, and I feel like I'm the only one that don't.

Just don't do that. It's going to be more healthy

for you and for whoever that other person is.

You can have friends, have all friends you want, but whenever

you get into that moment, you know, date people that you think

that are maybe a possibility that someone you might marry #7

don't start committing until you are well informed.

Oh God. I mean like I spent 5 minutes

and we're starting to look at wedding towel.

You hear what I'm saying? You've not even met their

family. Again, gauge how they are before

you show any interest. You hear me again?

You see, that'll save you from the just acting for what you're

interested in. Gauge how they are before you

show any interest. Becca's not trying to impress

him. She was just being who she was.

I'll water your camels also. Verse #21 I'm haste this and

next. It's got to be done as we're

moving on. And the man wondering, look at

this servant. The man wondering at her held

his peace to whit or to know whether the Lord had made his

journey prosperous or not. And it came to pass as the

camels had done drinking. You know, after that 80th trip,

she going down to the well, I don't know how long that that

the man took a golden earring of half a shekel way and two

bracelets for her hands of 10 shekels way of gold.

So while she's doing all this, he doesn't say anything.

He's like, I got a guy you got to meet.

We got to, you know, we got to get this thing.

He's not saying a word, right? She's doing all this stuff.

He's not saying anything at this point about the possible marital

relationship, you know, to his master's, to his Master's son or

any type of relationship for that matter.

For that matter. He doesn't even give her any

gifts until she fully completes what she said she would do.

He's not buying her a new sweater or five purses or, well,

glory. I almost feel like a whip pup

here. You know, it's really him.

But when she's complete everything, that's when he comes

forth with the gifts. When she kept her word, doing

what she said she would do, that's when he came forth with

all the gifts. And the Bible says as she was

doing it, he's in awe. He's wondering he's that's what

the script says, wondering at her and he held his peace so you

you can have that internal excitability before it comes out

of your mouth and before it's displayed.

Sometimes we got to be like married with Jesus.

We need to hold some things in our heart as we venture into

relationships. Hope some of these things in

your heart, but notice what he's in all of.

He's in all of that diligence. He's in all that work.

It's not that he's in all that she's very fair.

He's in all that. She's doing what she said she

would do, which is sacrifice for her.

Genesis 24 and verse 23 and said, the servant, whose

daughter art thou? Tell me, I pray thee, is there

room in my Father's house for us to lodge in?

She said to him, I am the daughter of Bethuel, the son of

Milka, which she bare unto Nahor.

You know what he's saying? He said I'm not even saying even

at this point, folks, he's not saying anything about Isaac and

this possibility. You see that even at this point

he's not, I don't know, you know what he's looking at first.

He's making sure that that quote UN quote fleece and prayer he

made to God is being met. If I ask her to drink, will she

give me to drink and will she also water my camels?

I'm waiting for the last jar of water to come up.

Some of us midway then jump too soon.

So I'm waiting for the last gallon to be brought, last three

gallons. I'm waiting for that to be

brought to see if the fleece, if the prayer has been answered.

Why? Well #1 He's also waiting

because he's asked her whose daughter.

He's verifying her ancestry. Because Abraham said, let it be

of my Canon kindred, let it be of my people.

He's verifying her ancestry. Is she truly related to Abraham?

I know I'm a no whore. I know I'm in the vicinity of

where the the family lives and where they interact and such.

And I know this girl seems to have some respectable traits.

Someone hear me right now I know this girl has some respectable

traits about her, but is she of our people?

Just having respectable traits is not enough.

We go back to criteria #1 don't marry and day the unbeliever.

We go back to criteria number. Oh, but they're a good person.

Cornelius was too, but he still needed the Spirit of God.

Just good trait, good moral, good personality, good looks

good, good work ethic. We put all the goods out there,

right? But there's one that's primary.

Is she a part of the family? Is she part of the family #2

look, what do you ask could win lodge?

Does Does your family have room for us to lodge there tonight?

You know what? You know what the the servant is

saying. I'd like to meet this lady's

family. I'd like to meet this lady's

family. The old adage, whatever it's

called, is true. You don't just marry Missus or

Mr. so and so, you marry Mr. or Missus so and So's family.

It might be good to go over for a meal.

I just had a restaurant. But at the house, people don't

always act the same out as they do at their own house.

Well, glory, yeah, I know you love so and so, and I know

they're ticking all the boxes, but but what about the family?

I don't say Amen. Song of Solomon, chapter #1

verse six. He says look not upon me.

This is the Shulamite. Look not upon me because I am

black, because the sun hath looked upon me.

My mother's children were angry with me.

They made me the keeper of the vineyards.

But my own vineyard have I not kept?

She might have said, I've been out here in the vineyard,

working in the vineyard. I am darkened by the sun because

I've been laboring. Not just not just not my own,

you know, I bet others. I've been kind of shipped out

here and there. That's been hard for me to keep

my own vineyard. And so Solomon, he spies her

there in a vineyard. And so then she starts.

She starts. Sharing with him some of her own

insecurities. Don't look up on me because I,

she has some. Don't look up on me because I am

black. All right?

She's talking about her swarthy skin, you know, from being out

there, you know, she's looking, she's looking internally and she

has, she feels, though she has some flaws #1 Folks, let's get

real. You need to get real and find

really about this person you're going to marry because whenever

you get married, all of those insecurities that they have,

you're going to have to offset. You're going to have to help

prop up, encourage, validate. Are you here?

Am I just speaking into the wind tonight?

This is all true stuff. Whatever they got going on in

their life now becomes a part of your life.

Their debt becomes your debt. Is anybody here what I'm saying

right now? All of their emotional trauma

and baggage that becomes a part of yours.

And so are is does your love go to the distance that you're

going to be able to help and offset and support?

And she says, my mother, she says my mother's children were

angry at me. So we got some dysfunction in

the family. She's the one that's being sold

out to these other vineyards. Why is she the one and not any

of the other children? And why are her mother's

children angry with her? And if it's her mother's

children, is she saying she have a step dad?

What's going on in all of this? You need to know what the family

dynamic. Are you saying it's impossible

then for that? No, it can work, but you need to

start asking yourself the question.

You don't need to get halfway through year #2 how did it sign

up for this? Well, did you know about it?

Oh God. Solomon, though, loves the

Shulamite in spite of all those things he learns.

Her own insecurities. They own dysfunction her family.

And you know what he eventually does?

He commits to her. But he doesn't commit to her off

surface knowledge. He commits to her after being

well informed. Commitment after being well

informed. Hold your tongue until you're

well informed. We loosely use the word love.

People love cars. People love how the lawn mower

cuts their grass. People loves a beverage.

People loves everything so much so that love is cheapened.

Love is what you feel. Listen, if love is a feeling,

you'll be in and out of relationships every day of the

week. Love is not a feeling.

Love is more so a choice. I think it is.

I think it's even Isaac. If you read later in the story,

maybe we'll get to it, that they bring that that spouse and that

that that possible eligible person to him.

And the Bible says Isaac loved her.

He hadn't spent Isaac loved her. What was that a choice?

We got to close it down, got to do something next week.

And we've been here long enough. I'm sure someone's thinking he's

well informed about some of her personal insecurities.

He's well informed about some of the family dynamics and he's

going to it's going to be his beloved and that's OK.

But there's there's a lot of that that you want to know

upfront or should Love sometimes is blind.

You don't pay attention to everything.

Love does this. You look at all the positive

qualities of that individual. You don't see the negative, you

don't see the pitfalls. You're looking all the good

stuff. And then when you get married,

guess what? Somewhere along the line of

shift starts happening. You start noticing the pitfalls.

And then that drives the wedge between you and the other person

because now that's all you see. Before you got married, all you

saw was the positive. After you got married, all you

see is the pitfalls. But you need balance.

You know what I often, what we often do with couples that come

in and they come into our office and their marriage is in the

ruckus and deranged. We have counseling sessions and

stuff. Some of the first things I do at

the beginning of every counseling session will be this.

I'll ask them some questions like this.

Tell me about how you all first met.

What are you doing, Pastor? I'm wanting them to relive that

positive good scenario of when they first met and what they

felt because they're so concentrated on the negativity,

they forgot about those good things.

And so I almost start every counseling session with some

type of question that's going to dredge up some of the best

memories that they've had with that other person because it's

gotten forgotten. Don't come sitting on my couch.

Come before you get buried and sit on my couch.

All right, there's hope. I hope for every one of us.

But I think it's important to follow a biblical guideline,

right? A biblical guideline and say,

well, bring them again. I didn't do that the first time.

Well, if this is the second time, third, whatever it is,

start now. Follow the biblical guideline.

It will not erase all risk because if you just take two

individual lives at whatever age and try to melt them together,

folks, there's just stuff that will have to be worked through

being the best. The people have never had XYZ

trauma or whatever in their life.

There's still going to be stuff. But maybe you can lower the bar

a little bit, right? Swear it won't be as chaotic AS2

rushing rivers coming together in a tornadic activity.

You know, criteria finding the mate we got.

I don't know what we got to is that #8 I'm not sure, Huh?

We only got to seven. Are you serious?

OK, well, I think we got 8 through then 13 next week.

All right, let's pray right now. Father, I love you, God.

I thank you, Lord, that you care enough.

You care enough for humanity. You care enough, Lord Jesus, for

you people, God, that you supply things in your word in a lot of

different areas of our lives, God to help us, the Lord Jesus

start out, Lord, on a better footing and a better standing

God perhaps than what we would have without it.

God. I'm thankful Lord, for you being

mindful of us in that way and supplying this Lord Jesus, those

things help me God to internalize them.

I pray, O God, today I need your help.

I need your help, Lord, in that area of my life, God, before,

during and after, Lord Jesus, a relationship is starting, has

went, Lord, to a marriage. I need your help, Lord, all

along the way. God be that third coward, Lord

that is not quickly broken in our lives.

God, we give you glory, we give you praise, and we honor you

tonight in the lovely name of Jesus Christ that I pray.

Amen and Amen of the church say Amen.

Hallelujah. Next Wednesday, we'll do it,

we'll do it, we'll finish it. Yay, raw.

All right, Wednesday after that, no service here.

Thanksgiving week, NYC week, then we'll be the Connect groups

the first Wednesday in December. Amen.

God bless you all. We'll be here on Sunday, right

to service.