Criteria For Finding A Mate - Part 3 | Pastor Paul McGee

All of the sacrificial system, the Old Testament Sunday

morning, all that blood that was shed and gallons upon gallons of

hundreds of thousands of gallons of blood that was shed that

could not do what the capacity of the blood of one man could do

for all of us never to have to be offered again.

Thankful for the blood, Amen, Of Jesus.

Hallelujah. Oh, yeah, There's announcements.

I guess I kind of forget about all that stuff when this stuff

goes on, you know, it's just kind of like secondary.

There's stuff going on, there's stuff going on.

You understand what I'm saying? Amen.

You can be seated for a little bit because I don't want you to

get tired of standing just while I'm talking about some

announcements. Amen.

This coming Sunday will be operation share offering again

in the AM service at the very end taking up another offering

for Operation Share for Thanksgiving for helping feed

households within our community. All right.

And that being said, also thank you to the First Apostolic

Church with the impromptu offering that was taken up for

the two families. We, we I say, I say raised

raises, right? There was given an excess of

$1000 on Sunday morning for those two families.

And we thank for Lord and appreciate him Amen for allowing

us to have to return. All right.

How allowing us to have Amen for the purpose of returning next

Wednesday or by say, next Wednesday.

There will be no service here next Wednesday.

Tonight we'll finish criteria for finding a mate.

There will be no service here next Wednesday.

It's the day right before Thanksgiving.

There'll be a good portion of us that'll be in Nashville for

National Youth Convention. However, the first Wednesday in

December, the first Wednesday, December, we move from this

setting and move to connect groups, men connect groups,

women connect groups and student connect groups.

If, if, if you are new around here or you haven't been here

during the connect group season, please see my wife and I will

make sure that you get connected to our private connect group

page because it can keep you apprised of what is going on or

material or discussion questions, all kinds of

different stuff that may come through that route.

And that will be starting the 1st December, the first

Wednesday of December, men will be in the sanctuary, ladies will

be in the fellowship hall, students will be over there and

we'll have a good, good time. If you're a man already put

stuff up concerning connect groups today.

All right, for us men. So I already put some stuff out

there today that you can go and check out and make yourself

aware of. All right, so that's coming up

there the first, the first Wednesday in December.

Everybody say December. All right, grab your fork, your

knife, your spoon, walk around with your plate, right?

All the things you go to business, company parties and

church parties and party Hardy. All right, Well, for US,

December the 6th is the Ignite Christmas party.

I'll be at 6:30 PM. December the 12th is a Ladies

Christmas party that's at 6:30 PM as well.

It'll be catered. Sister McGee says you can bring

a 5 to $10, five to $10.00 gift for that.

And that range is there because, well, folks, we just not living

where we were a few years ago. I mean, $5 gift just sometimes

don't even go far, you know, by tube a toothpaste cost $5, you

know, it almost feels like, but anyway, none the less.

And also then on the very next night, then December the 13th is

the adult Christmas party. Amen.

They'll be taking place in the fellowship hall and that'll be a

carry in style. We all will have stuff for

coming concerning that. However, on that night when it's

the adult Christmas dinner, the Ignite are providing babysitting

all right, provided for a rate. So it's $20 for your first

child. If you have another child after

that, it's $5 for each additional child.

So it's a flat rate of 20 for that first and then five for any

additional child that's after that.

And you can see brother Alex, your sister Grace, if you have

any questions concerning that. Amen.

Then on December the 22nd, a little different this year on a

Sunday evening, we are doing our candlelight service, which is

always a special time. So our last service before

Christmas, we will be having our candlelight service start at our

regular service time at 6:00 PM. And after we've completed that

service, we'll have Donuts and cookies and fellowship and such

in the back with maybe something warm to drink and so on and so

forth. It's always a good time of year.

If you're saying to the McGee, I didn't, I couldn't get it all

down. We have a calendar out there on

the bulletin board as the same dates out there for your

perusing and taking in and so on and so forth.

Someone's saying, man, I don't know if anybody has been

noticing the past few services, but there's been someone sitting

over here in this area. And this is Amaya Lange.

And Amaya has made a choice and decision to make this church her

church, all right, with the support of her previous pastor I

talked to yesterday. And Amaya has talked to us

today. And so I'm asking you just

incorporate her, make her feel a part of this church family,

befriend her, talk to her. If you need a point of reference

for her. Amaya Lang is Doctor Jeremy

Lang's sister. All right, Jeremy Lang that

comes. This is I.

We won't hold that against her. You, you understand that, right?

We won't hold that against her, but we're going to love her and

appreciate her and and try to incorporate her into this body

here here at First Apostolic Church.

Now Bible study. All right, the last one for this

season. All right, let's get into

Genesis chapter 24. We're going to spend a lot of

Genesis 24 · chapter mention

time in Genesis 24 tonight tiptoeing among the tulips,

reading sections of Scripture. I know they up there see just

nothing but Genesis 24, this section of verse, just Genesis.

For that, we should have probably just loaded the whole

chapter, just been all 67 verses, whatever it is.

Amen. That's going to just read a few

verses, if you'll stand to me, just as just an honor to God's

Word, right? In the book of Ezra, they stood

for the reading of the Word of the Lord.

And so this is where we get that formality or tradition, if you

will. Genesis 24.

I'm going to read 3 verses. None of them are connected,

right? Like consecutively.

So I'll tell you where to go next.

All right, Genesis, I'll tell you right now we're going to

read verse 2648 and 522648 and 52, the Bible says, and they'll

sound somewhat familiar or even maybe repetitive.

And the man bowed down his head and worshipped the Lord, verse

48. And I bowed down my head and

worshipped the Lord, and blessed the Lord God, my master Abraham,

which had led me in the right way to take my masters brothers,

daughter unto his son. Verse 52.

And it came to pass that when Abraham's servant heard their

words, he worshipped the Lord, bowing himself to the earth.

This is criteria for finding a mate.

Part number three, we've, we have unearthed all of this

criteria from Genesis chapter 24.

Genesis 24 · chapter mention

And so in saying that when we finish tonight, what we provided

really isn't an exhaustive list, OK, but it's a good list for

Genesis 24. We could pull other places in

Scripture and probably add to the list.

As a matter of fact, when I did this 12 years ago, I only had

12. Tonight we have 13 because in

the following year there was another one out Genesis 24 I

thought need to be in there. And so it's tucked in there too.

All right, because I updated, dated it in 2013, whatever it

was and threw it in there. Yeah, it's the second edition,

so it may be expanded or whatever you want to call it

every though. And so just to remind you where

we are, I'll pray so you'll be seated.

OK. Lord Jesus, we love you.

God, we thank you, Lord, again, God, for this opportunity to be

here. Help us to be students of your

word, not just hearers only, but also doers.

I pray God tonight, God, I know Lord, there's things in this

that's good Lord, for our personal lives.

Words to live by, Lord, an exercise in the name of Jesus

Christ that I pray, Amen. You may be seated again.

I just want to very quickly go over the list that we've covered

thus far, starting with number one one through 7 that we have

done thus far. Number one, do not marry or day

a unbeliever. All right, not just Old

Testament, New Testament Scripture bears that out as well

in the book of Corinthians #2 do not marry a person with a

incompatible spiritual appetite or continue to date that

individual after you've come to this realization #3 pray for

guidance, right? Remember and be specific.

I get detailed with that. Nothing wrong with that at all

#4 don't manipulate the results, right?

If you set up this idea and concept of what you're looking

for or something that you want God to answer me, don't start,

you know, playing with all the variables and making it turn out

the way you we want it to turn out.

Don't manipulate the results #5 don't compromise character for

comeliness, right? We believe in physical

attraction, but it's not so much so that that Trump's to the

place where you ignore the character of an individual.

All right, number six, players are for games and not

relationships. Again, one of my personal

favorites just for the wording of it.

Players are for games, not relationships, right?

The leading on the playing with the emotions of a woman or maybe

with the physical touch aspects of a man, so and so forth that

we steer clear from to to just for the purpose of playing games

#7 don't start committing until you are well informed.

Don't start committing until you are well informed.

Right you are in a you're already picking out rings after

the first, you know, day of ever even having a conversation.

You know, you need to be well informed before you make this

very important decision that's that's going to have

implications in your life. And so #8 from the three verses

that I read to you tonight #8 is this Recognize if God's hand is

in the development. Recognize if God's hand is in

the development. And these 3 verses that I picked

in. And the reason why there is some

repetitiveness is not only does the story play out and this

thing happens as far as Abraham's servant worshipping

and bowing and like giving thanks and gratitude to God.

When he retells the story then to Rebecca's family, he likewise

then goes through it again. And so that's the reason why

it's mentioned again. And then finally, when Rebecca's

brother and her father kind of give that, OK, like, yeah, this

is good, this is right, this is proper.

Then he also takes a moment to reflect and give God honor and

praise for what's going on. Because when when the servant

specific prayer was answered, after that prayer was answered,

right of that very detailed prayer of her giving him water

and then she of her own volition offering and volunteering to

water the camels. It's after that that we see him.

Then the first time he's bowing his head and he's worshipping

the Lord because what he's doing here, he's recognizing the

fingerprints of God and the development of what's taking

place because not only as he went back to the area where

Abraham's family was from, but now, and I don't want to call it

stumbled upon, I believe it's a divine intersection that took

place. Now he's come up on the woman

Rebecca, when he he learns her pedigree that this is part of

this is part of her, his, his, his master, Abraham's family.

And so he's starting to see the handiwork of God in the

development of trying to find this mate for, for his, his

master's son. And so as he's seeing this thing

start to unfold, he, he has a grateful heart.

He is thankful he is worshipping that the Lord is, is in this.

And so then again, whenever he shares the story with Rebecca's,

when he shares the story with Rebecca's relatives and retells

the story to them in verses like 34 through 36, Isaac and his

family and all these things. He, he understands again that he

relates how he himself was appreciative to God for the

things that he saw begin to develop.

Whenever we read in Scripture, when we read that setting of

Scripture, and you can look at it there, if you have a Bible

that's open of verses 34 through 36, Abraham, as he begins to

explain some things to the family of Rebecca, he tells them

basically that Isaac and Isaac's family, his father that they

are, they are financially sound. All right, They're financially

sound. And then he continues to retell

the events from the time that he left Canaan unto the present

moment. And you'll look at this in verse

#32 this repeating, this repeating of an event.

We see this off times in Scriptures.

For instance, you see this in New Testament in the book of

Acts, whenever Saul is talking about his conversion that took

place in Acts 8-9, and then he retells it later, and then he

retells it another time later. You see this retelling or this

repeating of event, or for that matter, there's other times

where there's just the repetition of event in Scripture

and it underscores some importance.

It's like given that second Wham of impression right upon

whatever took place, it's it's in essence many times confirming

the truthfulness of the event or the truthfulness may be of a

statement in Scripture. The one example that I may go to

for this is really in Genesis 41.

I told you verse 32, but in Romans chapter, Genesis 41 and

verse 32 where this occurs, the Bible says, and this is

concerning Joseph and Pharaoh and the dreams that took place.

The Bible says for that the dream was doubled unto Pharaoh

twice. It is because he says this is

the reason why. It is because The thing is

established by God and God will shortly bring it to pass.

And so even the doubling of of the same dream happening just

yet again, it was because this thing is established by God.

And so we see them as he's even recalling this.

He's recalling this even to those of Rebecca just to inform

them, but also with the point of view that no doubt he sees God's

hand in the development of these things from him and his

perspective. He has a very hopeful

inclination that this is the will of God for his master's

son. And so not only that, now he's

not just experienced this story for himself.

Now he has told it to someone else, right?

Because he's involved in the story.

He, this is his obligation and duty to do this.

So he's involved in the story. But now he has some outsiders,

as it were, that's looking in on these turn these these turn of

events and their conclusion is this you can read of it in verse

50. It says the thing that

proceedeth from the Lord that that was their that was their

conclusion of the matter. This thing's from God.

In other words, what's happening right now these these these you

intersecting her at the well and she being related to Abraham and

he's looking all he said this thing proceeded from God.

And so they just concur with what the servant was already

feeling. God's handiwork, God's handiwork

is in this development. God's hand is in all of this.

Not only that, we we see something begin to take place

here a little bit in Scripture. If you look at verses 37 through

39, you see that. And then you look at verses 34

through 36, much, much smaller piece of verse verses there, 34

through 36 compared to 37 through 49 to the servant is

whenever he's saying that long description of 37 through 49 of

what's happening, he talking about that.

And then verses 34 through 36 is talking about the financial

soundness of Isaac and his family.

There are laws there. There are laws for interpreting

Scripture. All right.

If you ever go to seminary, they'll tell you all these

different laws, all right. One of the laws is the law of

proportion, meaning that if there is a larger section of

verses that applies to something compared to something else, it

kind of emphasizes the importance just because

proportionally there's more that's given to it.

And if we use the law of proportion in this particular

setting, the Scripture, then we have this, that for the servant,

perceiving that God's hand was in it was more important than

the financial status of Isaac. Huh.

Meaning that if God's hand was in it, that was more important

than if he was rich. It is good.

Thank you, Sister Robert. That is good stuff.

That is good stuff. So after the servants feelings

are are confirmed by a third party.

You know that the Lord proceeded for the Lord is working in this.

It's then in verse 52 that he bows right after Laban and Beth

you'll tell him that that this is in it that's proceeded from

the Lord. He bows again and he worships

because he feels that he feels that stamp if you will of

someone else's point of view of God being in this all right and

it's important. The importance of this is that

that the servant had consulted with God about this.

He consulted with God about this and he wants to verify.

And it's good that he's just not seeing something or picking up

on something in his flesh, right?

Just wanting something to be, you know, I've been a long

journey. I've been from home, you know,

for a while now. I got these team camels got to

care for, you know, all this stuff.

It's I just want to get back home.

I I want this to be it right. Journey can be said done over

whatever, but he he understands, though, that by consulting some

on the outside that yes, this isn't just my flesh.

This isn't just something I I want to happen or take place.

This is this, this is the hand of God that's taking place.

And so while that's important for us, whether you're in the

space of finding the mate or in between may or you know, I say

that respectfully, I think it's just important to know what

God's hand is in, as in what God's hand is not in.

We love, you know, it's good to see man God's hand is in.

It's also good to see what God's hand isn't in and vice versa.

And so it's, it's important to know that.

And so the only way that we can do that number one is by #1

keeping in touch with God. It.

So be careful when you're on the mate search and you don't have

this mate search taken care of. Because when all the rubber hits

the road, if you never learned to get this relationship right,

it'll have impact more than likely on your other

relationships in life. All right.

And so, so the only way we can keep in touch with that we got,

we got to stay in touch with God.

And and I think it's important that there's probably people in

your life that you you account as people that you can trust,

that you can hold yourself accountable to, right?

That you trust them. You know, and I'm not here to

blow the trumpet tonight, but I hope that as a pastor, that may

be my wife and I might be able to be a little bit of a sounding

board. All right in your life

concerning some of those things. Or maybe you have someone that's

a true friend, right? Not a just a yes woman and a yes

man. That's just always going to tell

you what you want to hear. Scripture said was it probably

said faithful are the wound faithful are the kisses of a

friend wounds of a friend? Is it wounds?

They are the wounds of a friend. Amen.

Why? Because well, you know, they're

not doing it for the purpose of hurt, but they're doing it for

the purpose of guidance and direction.

And there's an honesty there that's just trying to be

helpful, right? Not hurtful.

I know we can feel hurt in the MO in the moment, but it's

really trying to be helpful. Genesis 24 and verse 34 the

Bible says so let's read this little financial side, although

the Scripture, he was the note in God's hand did it more

important than the financial side.

That doesn't mean the financial side shouldn't be taken into

consideration. Everybody hearing me now that

doesn't necessarily mean that you know, they have their summer

house and their winter house and you know their Swedish banks

accounts and all that stuff. But listen.

And he said, verse 34, I am Abraham's servant, and the Lord

hath blessed my master greatly. He has become great.

He have given him flocks, and herds, and silver, and gold, and

menservants, and maidservants, and camels, and asses.

And Sarah, my master's wife, bear a son to my master when she

was owed. And unto him he's Speaking of

Isaac, and unto him hath he given all that he hath.

So he's talking about Abraham and all of his financial status

and basically saying they had a son and that went to Isaac.

All that I just aforementioned. So #9 criteria for finding a

mate. What is their financial

standing? What is their financial

standing? It's important that God's hand

is in it. That's important, but not at

total dismissal of what the financial standing is, right?

It doesn't remove the value of Isaac's financial condition,

right? Because let's think, let's think

just for a moment real, particularly about the female

with this male years ago now, I know we're almost in a society

today, it's almost just both partners are going to work.

I get that. Years ago, though, the typical

thing was, was for the male to work and the female to work in

the home, right? So let's just consider that

aspect for a moment. Does this Romeo have a job?

I mean, is there room for both of you to live in your mother's

basement? Someone say Amen.

Remember when we did Genesis study?

We're still in Genesis, right? You all, I all just really just

snapped through you this whole time.

We've been in Genesis a lot while we've not been in Genesis.

But let me tell you something. Remember, before God ever

brought Eve or took Eve from his side and brought Eve to Adam

first, He gave him a job to dress and keep the garden and

name the animals before he ever introduced Eve.

Guys, before you go finding yourself a mate, find yourself a

job. I know that love feels great,

but you can put love on the envelope and send it to your

water bill and they don't really care.

Amen. As a matter of fact, among the

lists that you'll read, even present day, the list that

you'll read top five top 10 struggles or conflicts among

even married couples. You know what it is?

Finances, finances. And so if that's the case, if

that's the case in retrospect, after people get married, don't

you think it'd be good to consider that before you ever

get married, right before any commitments made?

What's, what's the financial, what's the financial status

here? Again, I'm not, I'm not

advocating, you know, they got to be filthy rich and you know,

they got to be making this much money and this many figures and

so on and so forth. I understand that.

But I'm thinking about this. What type, what type of

financial practices do they even carry in their life?

Are you inheriting a $50,000 credit card debt whenever you

get into marriage with them because they don't know how to

manage their money right? Because then then you come in

together and you got you got you got you got their credit and

your credit and then both of your names go on something.

And then now your credit is being affected by your

collective. Hey, God help us, Jesus out.

Lord Jesus. Hey, man.

So somebody might need to look at ahead of time, right?

So someone you know, might have a job, might might need a better

job. I'm just saying thinking about

the financial dynamics that you're merging together might

need, might need a might need a better job.

And yeah, you know, maybe, maybe that Lady or man at the way it

is in today's world, we got stay at home dads.

So, you know, maybe maybe, you know, whoever one or the other,

maybe both are going to have to work in order to make this thing

work. But it's a whole lot more

important that you enter into this situation with your eyes

wide open, Taking the guards off for a moment, right?

Getting our heads out of the clouds and touching reality for

a moment, huh? I mean, there's a lot of

vehicles on his side. Maybe we need to sell for you,

though. Maybe we don't need all those

going into our marriage. Listen, listen, you're young.

And sometimes young people think like this, that they should have

the status of their parents when they get married.

Well, your parents was on some road to get to where they are

now, you know, after 30 years of marriage and maybe it'll happen

for you. If so, that's great, but it

might not OK. And so we want to be, we want to

be aware of this because if we get into this thing and we have

no idea concerning those things and we Start learning some

things, you know, 5-10 credit cards later that you owe money

on with just your regular life stuff, huh?

You don't want to enter that because you start doing that.

You know what happened, you find out afterwards.

And some of these things, you know that you never knew they

didn't tell or whatever. Then you can start forming

resentment for the opposite party over where you're at.

And you can start having these feelings of disappointment

toward them. And all of the love man just

starts to eat out of your relationship because there's

just real life problems. Now you know that are here that

maybe if you just if at least you had time to you was going to

enter it, but you at least had a mindset.

You knew what you was already stepping into.

You understand what I'm saying? OK, so we want to kind of avoid

those type of things. Not only that, look at this this

this is something that Abraham's servant is telling the family.

Abraham has XYZ. All that's going to go to Isaac.

Why are you doing that, Abraham? Because any parent, any parent

in their right mind wants to have a certain element of

comfort that their son or daughter are going to be able to

make it. I'm just saying that their son

or daughter are going to be able to survive, right?

They don't want to think that they're, you know, little Susie

go tie the she just, she's not even going to have a drumstick

to eat on. You know, she they want to know

that they're going to be taking care of food and shelter wise,

right? They're they're conscious of

that. And so he's sharing this type of

information, information. A matter of fact, my parents

told me this. I'll probably tell my I think

it's a generational thing. I think most parents want their

children to do better than what they did.

I think that I think that's a honorable thing, you know, to

want your kids to do better than what you did.

And so all those things come into play.

Look at this now, if you will, verse 29 of Genesis 24.

And Rebecca had a brother and his name was Laban.

And Laban ran out, went to the man and to the whale.

And it came to pass when he saw basically the gifts all right.

And when he heard the words of Rebecca his sister, saying, Thus

spake the man, and to me, that he came into the man, and

behold, he stood by the camels at the well.

So, so Laban. Laban heard what Abraham's

servant had to say, and then he went out to see what he said he

had. And he seen the gifts that had

been given to his sister Rebecca.

And he seen the not one, but two, but 10 cables that this

servant had. And so Laban is noticing all of

this entourage that came with the servant.

And it just strikes me a little funny.

But in the very next verse, verse #31 I believe if it.

Yeah, look at old Laban. He's standing there.

Here's my sister, all these gifts he's bestowed upon her.

Look at all this entourage. And he says in verse 31, he

said, come in, thou blessed of the Lord.

You know, here's like, because he's going to be brother-in-law

today. Come on, God blessed the Lord.

What is he? He's seeing that his sister's

going to be taken care of. He sees that his sister's going

to be taken care of. You know, why are you standing

up? Come on in.

We got provender for you camels. You know, you stay here with us

tonight. You know, we got some place

where you can bed down. God bless.

Blessed the Lord not but as a real I mean real realistically

and just practically he's thinking that he must be

financially sound. Well, maybe two things This

guy's either financially sound or he owes somebody a lot for

these camels and they give him the right.

So it's crucial to know the truth behind all of that and so

the servant is shining light upon it as a result of it.

All right so I I'm telling you you don't listen.

Marriage is hard enough without putting the financial factor

there that may be unnecessary accumulated death.

All right and if if history here's the thing, if history is

indicate if they can't take care of their own finances where they

going to go when they have two peoples listen more money

doesn't cure improper use of finances.

That just allows you to be more improper with more money.

Amen, someone's Amen #10 let's go on.

Thank you Jesus #10 this was my Addy, unlike the following year

after I download this. Can they be trusted?

Can they be trusted? Look at verse #34.

And he said, I am Abraham's servant, and the Lord have

blessed my master greatly. He says everything that he says

there. I want to man.

Did I mess up? No, that's the same thing I

already read to you once. Nonetheless, one of the selling

points that Abraham's servant used to persuade and influence

Rebecca to be Isaac's wife was this the servant master, the

servant's master. Abraham was greatly blessed by

the Lord with all these things, right?

And notice though the Bible does not say the master have given a

double portion to Isaac. That's not the words.

It doesn't say that the master had given a portion above all

the rest to Isaac because that's some of the that's some of the

verbage you get in Scripture. Double portion, like that of the

first born, double portion, or a portion to Joseph above the

rest, that which Jacob had taken out of the hand of the Amorite

with his bow, that about. But whenever we read concerning

Isaac, he says he had given him all.

There was not anything that he had that was off bounds to

Isaac. How could he do that?

He could trust his son Isaac. He was trustworthy so he could

freely all nothing off bounds endow him with everything.

And so just by virtue of even that illustration, knowing that

that son could receive all that meant in the eyes of that

family, this young man, this guy must be a a highly trustworthy

individual himself that his father would entrust him with

all that he had without any limitations, without putting up,

you know, a little fence around a certain area.

No, he's trusted with all a man that could be trusted.

You are a woman for that matter, you you want someone in your

relationship that someone that is trustworthy.

Amen. If you catching them in lies

before you got to question some of their actions before I do

those will continue. Listen, marriage, you're not

going to fix the problems, absolute problems in somebody

just because you got married. And it's like, well, they'll

stop doing that and this and such.

And I'm not talking about stuff that are non negotiables that

you can't compromise on. I'm talking about like moral

things. If it was wrong before they got

married, it's not just going to stop because you got married.

All right. And so there is a there is a

trust factor that is there. Let's move on.

Verse 49. We'll finish tonight, OK, just

let you know. Be reassured my brethren.

Verse 49 And now if ye will deal kindly and truly with my Master,

tell me, and if not, tell me that I may turn to the right

hand or to the left. Then Laban and Beth, you'll

answered and said the thing proceeded from the Lord.

We cannot speak unto thee, bad or good.

Behold, Rebecca is before thee. Take her and go and let her be

thy master's son's wife, as the Lord hath spoken.

And so he's telling all this right the the brother, the

father, he's getting inside #11 is this.

Get feedback from the family on 2 levels A&B.

What does the potential mates family think about him or her?

And what does your family, oh boy, think about him or her?

Right, because the servant is talking to daddy and brother

about Rebecca. He's wanting there.

He wanted some opinion of those that are closest to her.

They've been with that little snot since she was born.

They know her little idiosyncrasies and her little

traits and her little patterns. Huh.

They know that she has mood swings almost every two weeks.

I'm just telling you, folks, some things are good to know.

Well, Gloria, so he's talking to those that are closest to them.

What, what, what do you have to say about about this

relationship? What do you have to say about

Rebecca? And they're going to want to

know them. Vice versa, you're going to want

to know that as well. Again, they, they've known these

people have known these individuals longer than the one

that's marrying them, have known them more than likely, unless

they were born in the same hospital and so on and so forth.

But I'm saying in an intimate way, in a space of living in the

same house, they know them better than the one that's about

ready to marry them. And so he's talking to Rebecca's

father and Rebecca's brother. And I think this is important.

Please hear me right now. This is a conversation right now

happened with those two men. I understand the patriarchal

male type of driven society that they were a part of.

But the wisdom in this also was this, here is a lady.

The servant wants to know the male slant on Rebecca, the male

view. You might hear one thing from

Mama, but I want to hear the male view of Rebecca, right?

Well, go hurry. I want to know the female view

of that guy I'm about ready to marry.

I want to talk to his mom and sisters, right?

Did he fly off hand at them and disrespect them?

Well, he might disrespect you after you get married.

He's getting some information here, right?

He's getting this, this perspective in the slant of the

sex upon the opposite sex of what they're about ready to

marry. Some questions, you know, might

be what what are some of their tendencies?

You know, how is that Lady? Is she high maintenance?

Talk to my future father-in-law. Is she high maintenance?

Does she have a certain level of status of stuff that she thinks

she deserves? Well, OK.

OK. I know you all.

You all good? That's OK, huh?

For that guy, Mom, does he get angry easy?

Is it easy to flip his switch? Is he from 1°?

You know, like, very nice. And then just in a moment, he

can shift you like Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, huh?

But what about do they hold grudges?

Huh. Are they quick to say sorry or

seek forgiveness? Huh.

Do do they tend to make mountains out of mow hills?

Because, listen, we don't go into relationships and we open

up our garments and start showing all of those sides of

ourselves. No, we we're pretty.

We're pretty well cloaked to a degree.

Maybe as the relationship goes on, we start peeling it back a

little bit. Like there's a little bit of me.

Yeah, I know it's not that great.

You understand, We learned a lot of that after we get married if

we've not gotten feedback, Pastor Steve Warman said.

This has been years ago now, but it's still good, he said.

When contemplating marriage, pay close attention to how your

potential spouse treats their family.

You may be treated the same way once married, how they treat

their family, because once you become the family, you might get

the same treatment. B.

What does, what does my family think about my, my potential

mate, right? Because whenever, whenever

there's parents or there might be immediate family that that

may have somewhat of an objection, you need to really

investigate that and see if that is a founded objection, right?

For this potential made thing, right?

And, and to do that is difficult, right?

Because you're involved in it. Some people have this grand

ability, some of us don't so much so as much.

But when you're involved in something, be able to step

outside of that and then look at it objectively, like from the

outside. Sometimes even for sure, when

you're in relationships like that, it's hard to step outside

of that remote, that romantic love aspect and just give a hard

objective look at what you're involved with and the feelings

that you have or really don't have for this person.

And listen. Listen objectively to some

unbiased, you know, opinions of the family.

You got to listen, right, Because their perspective may be

different than what your perspective with blinders on is

right now. But that third party, that

parent, that whoever, they're not emotionally involved.

They're not emotionally involved, all right.

And so most of the time headlines, most of the time, I

say most, they are not trying to sabotage your relationship.

Most of the time they're trying to keep you from future grief,

Huh. So what's the Amen?

Already talked to you about how marriage won't correct the

faults, it won't even relieve the symptoms many times.

So. So Abraham through the criteria

that he gave the servant, they approved, Bethuel and Leyman

approved of the wife, right? Go take her home.

She proved that that marriage to that man that she was joining

himself to they sing the hand of God in this There's there's

basically they basically said there's nothing there's nothing

that we can say in addition to what has already happened here.

All right, there's there's evidence of all of this verse 51

take Rebecca go and let her marry Isaac.

It seems all good really. This the family.

I mean, they don't even like me. Well, do they have good founded

purpose for not liking you? I'm sorry.

I mean, probably someone that wish he would have listened to

to to to mom and dad would have been Samson.

He will forever be the example that should have listened to his

mom and dad concerning his relationship.

Now, I mean, he sees Timeth, I think it was was the first

because he had a few. It's hard to keep track.

He said Mom and dad, I saw a woman get her for me, number

one, she wasn't Israelite criteria number one.

OK, but but anyway, so he tells them about this girl that he's

interested in. And not long after that, about a

year elapsed and he's going to go get this girl.

All right, his first relationship with this girl from

there was so bad that his marriage only lasted 7 days.

First marriage, seven days, first relationship 7 days.

And it's over. Someone hearing me right now.

And then she was given to another.

And it seems like he has the same thing.

He's drawn to the same thing. Another unbeliever.

His Samson had weakness. He was the strongest man with

the Bible was with the worst weakness and and and he gets

himself involved in a in a similar situation.

And I guarantee you that after he had been made sport of and

his eyes have been taken from him and he was standing between

two pillars that a lad had to lead him to in the temple of

Dagon and he had his hands on them.

I guarantee you in that moment before he about pushed them

over. He's probably thinking the back

of his mind. I wish I would listen to the

feedback of my family Drew to his demise.

Let's go on verse 55, Genesis 24, verse 55 and her brother and

Genesis 24:55

her mother said, let the damsel abide with us.

Now dad and brother says go take her.

Let's go, brother and mom says let the dams abide with us a few

days at least 10. But I I never knew if you met 10

in Scripture. I guess that's the way it is for

this one right here a few days and then nevertheless, let let

the dams abide with us a few days at at least 10.

After that she shall go. So why I want family input.

We also got to be careful about unhealthy family attachments.

Some people get tripped up in the leave and cleave principle

of Genesis because of unhealthy family attachments.

Adam Need didn't have that problem because they didn't have

a mom or dad. They didn't have the in law

problem, but we do today. We have the mom and dad.

There's some unhealthy family attachments.

What are you saying? I'm saying sometimes there can

be an unhealthy amount of control over that 20 some odd

year on that's about ready to get married that after they get

married, that parent or parents still want to control now not

just them, but the whole marriage that they're involved

in. Now someone say man, right,

trying to control some dynamics of the marriage.

And so then that causes problems in between this newly espoused

couple, right? Because they have the guilt and

the shame that they need to, you know, be pleasing the mommy and

daddy because that mommy and daddy and yeah, I love them and

you should love them and all that stuff.

But if it's unhealthy, God has made this man or this woman,

your husband or your wife leave and cleave, you're going to

start a life on your own. You might hold to some of the

traditions and patterns of your family, but you might not hold

to all of the traditions and patterns of your family.

This guy, he might hold to some of the traditions and and

patterns of his family, but he's probably not going to hold to

all of them as well. You know what?

They're going to take bits and pieces of both of their families

come together and they're going to make their own traditions and

patterns, and that's OK. That's OK.

Think about the oddity, if you will, if this side of the family

thinks, well, this man, this is how he should operate his family

exactly like us. And then the woman side over

here says, well, his family should operate exactly like us.

Folks, they're going to be problems in paradise if those

two families don't operate exactly the same and they're

wanting this new found couple. See, because we start, we start

judging over here as family. Well, this is right and this is

this is right when what we have here is just strong beliefs for

preferences, but we believe them so strongly it becomes a right

or wrong issue. And if we don't watch it with

there's unhealthy attachments, then it brings war into this new

home. Ezekiel 16 verse 4, Just for

Ezekiel 16:4

instance, I got to go. I was planning to be done within

45 minutes. Forgive me Lord, for I have

thought and exaggerated. And As for thy nativity, this is

Speaking of Israel. This is very metaphorical, but

look at it. As for thy nativity in the day

that thou was born by Neville, thy navel was not cut.

There was that Washington water supple it's talking about.

It was uncared for, wasn't cut. But I think the phrase I just

want you to look at he says when you were born by navel was not

cut. Could you imagine having your

newborn baby and then never severing the umbilical cord?

I mean, only so many people's going to be a hoe that baby

because there's only so much cord.

That baby's on a leash. That baby is still being to a

certain degree until the deterioration starts to happen,

fed by one parent. Sometimes in marital

relationships, we got people get married and the umbilical cord's

never been cut. There's an unhealthy attachment

there. That's not normal.

All right, it's not normal. OK, let's go on.

We still I can't do this, but we'll turn.

We won't do it, but we'll get close.

Verse 58 And they called Rebecca and said unto her, wilt thou go

with this man? And she said, I will go talk to

the family about they're like go take her do it.

But somewhere along the way, and this is number 13.

Mind you, this is my last one somewhere along the way, and

this whole relationship, I'm not going to call it the game, but

this whole relationship saga, the question has to be popped.

That popped question, the very telling question.

It's a very vulnerable question. Will you go with this?

Man has the promising approval of the family.

It appears as though God's hand is in this.

This is a believer. It's got the godly heritage.

It meets the criteria that Abraham had said.

Financially reliable, right? I've done all the due diligence

up to this moment. But now the question is, will

you go? That's a big question.

I know, I know. We love all the ways, you know.

Oh, the proposal stories. Stop the folks, what we're

talking about, what we're talking about is a question

about will you be committed? Will you be committed when the

when that question is popped, there's no, there's no hedging

or or trimming the hedges type. That's pretty direct, right?

It's, I mean, there's not too many ladies that the you guys,

you know, will you marry me or vice versa?

It happens both ways today. But they're not stepping back

and saying, could you rephrase that?

I didn't quite really understand.

No, it's, it's pretty direct. All right.

We have clear understanding of everything.

Will you marry me? And please, will you marry me?

And the way that we view love today, will you marry me?

Is different than asking will you love me?

Because again, today's society, when people are asking about

love, they're really asking more about affection, emotional

attachment when they say, will you love me?

But whenever you talk about marriage, we're talking about

more than the affectionate love we're talking about will you be

committed? Will you be committed?

That's really the question that we're asking.

Will you go, Rebecca? Will you be committed?

Will you commit and continue to commit?

Will you, as we say in traditional vows, will you

forsake all others? Will you say all others for this

one? Because when you make this

choice, you're turning your back on everyone else.

When you make this choice, your focus is coming right here and

it's not being diverted to anyone else.

Now, Genesis 24 and verse 67, look at this.

I believe it's the last verse here.

Don't get too anxious. And Isaac brought her into his

mother Sarah's tent. Rebecca took the journey with

the servant. They've met there.

Now Isaac has met her and brought her into his mother's

tent and took Rebecca. Look at look at the phraseology

here and look at the order. And she became his wife and he

loved her. And Isaac was comforted after

his mother's death. The foundation, the foundation

for love is commitment. The foundation for love is

commitment. Love isn't the foundation of the

marriage as we speak of it in today's Society of affection

commitment is the foundation of the marriage.

Isaac and Rebecca there in verse 67, she became his wife they

they married and he loved her and again, don't misunderstand,

I believe yes romantic love yes all a part of our story.

But if you build a marriage on romantic love and it's a one leg

stool of that of your quote UN quote affection, you know how

many I've heard it folks, people said across from me on a couch

and they say I'm just not in love with them in and out.

And if that's all your marriage is built upon, this affection of

love, then you're in and out of love according to how you feel.

What's going on in your marriage from day-to-day, week to week,

month to month. If that's your foundation,

you'll crumble. But if commitment's your

foundation, there'll be days you don't feel in love, but you're

committed to that other person. There'll be weeks and months

that it just might not be all flowers and rainbows, but you

know what holds you? You're committed to that person,

Amen. You're committed to that person.

You're built upon that commitment.

And so soon after this, this marriage that, you know,

commitment is going to listen. Commitment is going to be tried.

And it was even for Isaac and Rebecca in the very next chapter

of Genesis, Genesis chapter 25, you know what starts to happen?

Genesis 25 · chapter mention

They start to try to have children.

Rebecca, she is barren. She can't have children.

One of the most honorable things a lady in that day could do for

her husband is have children, particularly have male children,

but they can't have children. This is not the day of in vitro

fertilization. This is not the day of all the

day that we have today. He can't.

So this very thing that would be one of the most honorable things

that could come. He can't have love, could have

said I can't do this, but commitment said when I said I do

it included this. Amen.

He doesn't abandoned her staying with me tonight.

And Rebecca said I will go. That was that was her

willingness to do the leave and cleave ordeal.

She was ready to leave the apparent family attachments, not

necessarily unhealthy, but just leave.

She's being literally separated by distance, and she's going to

cleave to this man Isaac, and they're going to get married and

he's going to have an affectionate love for this

person he's committed to. So there's 13.

Again, not an exhaustive list, but a good, a good, solid list

From Genesis chapter #24 I cannot guarantee you that if you

abide by those 13, that nothing will ever go wrong.

I wish I could give you that 100% stamp of approval, but all

of these things still involve humanity and we are flawed, even

saved flawed. So I wish I could say, but I do

say I think that our, our percentage and I think our risk

are lowered. It's not It doesn't totally go

away. You say, brother McGee, the two

people that are believers get married, that I have no

problems. Hogwash.

I've been there. My number one, my first year of

marriage was whoo. I was just a kid.

I was 19 years old when I got married.

So #1 my prefrontal cortex was not completely developed.

We will have the ability to reason correctly.

I'm being honest, scientifically, this thing right

here, which involves all of the reasoning wasn't even fully

developed when I got married. So yeah, I was stupid.

And some of the first year idiotic stuff that we had proved

that now she was only 20, 1515 months, 15 months older than me.

So there is stuff she's saying my free, my pre front door.

I'm a slow bloomer. It's still trying to develop.

There always will be stuff, right?

There's not a destinate, there's not a destination of a happy

marriage. It's always a journey to that

destination. Sometimes you touch it,

sometimes your hands off it. I like to think of it like

balance. I always say this, you guys have

heard me probably say this 100 times.

Whenever you see someone up there on that tightrope and

they're going to say, oh look, they're balanced.

There's really never a state of balance thing.

The give the don't have to touch it ever again.

No, it's a consulate shifting. It's a consulate shifting.

A consulate gauging and evaluating and so on and so

forth. Amen.

Bishop says it never quits. How many years?

Bishop again going on 60 years of marriage.

I just need to go home after. I mean, I'm just just finished

27, so I I need to just go home. Amen.

Can we pray tonight as we pray in closing the service, a few

things. I want to pray for number two,

number one, and start with the second one.

First. Number five and four, go count

backwards. Number one, I want to pray for

those that are single, whether it's they never married, they

have been married before but are in that state of singleness.

And #2 I want to pray for those that are married, right, or the

marriages, and then for those that may someday embark into a

marriage again. All right, Can we do that

collective collectively as a church?

Father, I come to you tonight. God, I thank you, Jesus, today

for your word. I thank you today, Lord, for

grace. I thank you today, Lord Jesus,

that you can have your hand. Lord, the affairs of the

relationships of our life. I pray, O Lord Jesus, for those

that might be in a season of singleness right now.

Maybe they're entertaining Lord Jesus the thought of of of

having Lord Jesus a relationship with someone.

I pray God that they could use the Lord Some of these tools of

Genesis 24 to God be mile markers.

The Lord they help them along the way.

I pray, O Lord, give them wisdom and knowledge and understanding.

I pray, O God, you're able to move on the marriages, Lord of

this assembly people, Lord, who have formed that bond and

they're walking, Lord Jesus, that journey day by day.

And there are highs and there are lows and there are

difficulties and there are smooth selling times.

I pray, O God, help us God to stay tethered, Lord God to our

commitments and help us God even seek you, Lord, and even seek

outside help, Lord, when it's necessary, God, in order to get

over Lord, pumps in the road or or difficult Lord Jesus times of

transition or God uncharted daughters.

I pray, O Lord, protect the home, protect the family,

protect relationships of everything that you have made.

Lord, as a model, Lord of Christ, Lord of the church, I

pray, O Lord, blanket this place God, bring healing, God to where

healing needs to be encouragement where

encouragement needs to be guidance.

Lord, where guidance needs to be offered.

God will not fail to thank you and praise you Lord for what you

accomplished. Lord through your people,

through your word, in the name of Jesus Christ that we pray.

Hallelujah, Amen and Amen of the church say Amen, Amen, Amen.

Hallelujah. Next Wednesday, no service here,

first Wednesday of December Connect groups if you need in

the Connect group Facebook page it is a private page.

Please see me or my wife and we will gladly add you so you can

keep apprised of what is going on.

Amen. God bless you tonight in Jesus

name.