Sermon
Unmistakably Yours | Pastor Paul McGee
Publisher transcript
Transcript
-
You must be a pretty well liked young guy, Amen.
-
And so we do love and appreciate him.
-
And as she already said, she's he's grown up around here.
-
But it's good to see some of you.
-
I mean, we haven't seen him while it's good to see Steven's
-
dad here today or Xavier's dad, Steven, that is rather Amen.
-
Steven's dad's not here. But we're we're glad to have
-
Steven with us this morning, Amen.
-
And we're also glad to have Sam's mom and, and sister and
-
brother-in-law and all the crew, Amen, here this morning.
-
So happy, Bob, it's good to see you again back there, Amen, this
-
morning as well, Amen. Terry and Rhonda, of course,
-
coming over as well to be a part, Amen, of Xavier's baptism.
-
And what a great thing that is, Amen.
-
It's nothing like going down into what we all times say,
-
watery grave of baptism, Amen. According to the scripture,
-
Amen. There's something that happens
-
whenever we do. It's more than just a sign.
-
Scripture tells us that we repent and are baptized for the
-
remission or the removal of our sins.
-
Something actually happens. Amen.
-
I'm going to be turning to Genesis chapter 26 today and
Genesis 26 chapter mention
-
reading a few verses of Scripture.
-
Was drawn to this passage toward the latter portion of this week.
-
I pinned down a few notes back in the month of January when
-
reading through the Bible for this year.
-
And I pray that I pray it's a blessing to somebody today.
-
And I want to say this, I feel like I almost owe a preface
-
here, but I'm going to, in certain terms, I'm going to talk
-
about the marital relationship this morning.
-
And I know that we come into a place like this and especially
-
in today's world, the dynamic of that is, is multitude, right?
-
You, you may have come and you may have been divorced or you
-
may be single, or you might be with the same person that you've
-
been with for 60 years. You know, I know the whole
-
dynamic of that, you know, may be different.
-
But wherever we are in that, I believe this is applicable.
-
All right? I believe this is applicable
-
whether we are going to be in a relationship, the next one that
-
we're in, or if we just came out of one or four and one
-
presently. All right, if that makes sense.
-
And nonetheless, I come from a biblical basis.
-
OK, from a biblical basis. And I don't know why the Lord
-
led me here, but I'm here. And so I'm just going to be
-
obedient today. Amen to the Lord.
-
Genesis 26. And I want to read verse #6
-
through 11 this morning the Bible says.
-
And Isaac Dewell and Gerard, the men of the place asked him of
-
his wife. And he said, she is my sister.
-
For he feared to say she is my wife, lest, said he, the men of
-
the place should kill me for Rebecca, because she was fair to
-
look upon. And it came to pass when he had
-
been there a long time, that Abimelech, king of the
-
Philistines, looked out at a window, and Saul.
-
And behold, Isaac was sporting with Rebecca his wife.
-
And Abimelech called Isaac and said, Behold of a surety, she is
-
thy wife, and how saddest thou she is my sister.
-
And Isaac said unto him, Because I said, lest I die for her.
-
And Abimelech said, What is this that thou has done unto US1 of
-
thy people might likely have lain with thy wife, and thou
-
should just have brought guilt, tiness upon us.
-
And Abimelech charged all his people, saying, He that toucheth
-
this man or his wife shall surely be put to death.
-
My, my key focus this morning is really verse #8 that it came to
-
pass when he had been there a long time, that is Isaac had
-
been Rebecca had been that Abimelech, this king of
-
Philistines, looked out at a window and saw kind of
-
undetected by Isaac and Rebecca, but saw, behold, Isaac was
-
sporting with Rebecca his wife. And from that Abimelech knew
-
with certainty, that's not his sister, that's his wife.
-
And so with the help of the Lord this morning, I want to speak on
-
this subject unmistakably yours, unmistakably yours, Amen.
-
Can we go to the Lord in prayer right now?
-
Father, I thank you God for the songs that have been sung here,
-
God, and I feel it undercurrent of your spirit, God coming
-
alongside me. Lord Jesus, right now, God, for
-
the next few moments, I pray, O God, that you're able to help me
-
today. Let my words, O Lord Jesus, be
-
concise, but Lord, let them also, God be full Lord of love
-
and biblical truth. I pray, O Lord Jesus today, God,
-
that you're able to help us, God, not just in our
-
relationship with you, but in our relationship with others.
-
God, we'll praise you and we'll thank you Lord, for what you do
-
here today in Jesus name and everybody saying Jesus name,
-
Amen. You may be seated this morning,
-
Amen. So this this past Friday, of
-
course, all of the storms were on the the verge of coming or
-
not coming, However the dynamic, you know, takes place.
-
And I'd already spent some time with this passage by that Friday
-
night by the time it arrived. And so everybody was at home at
-
our house. Both kids were at home, my wife
-
and I was at home. And there's a lot of times we're
-
like ships all passing in different directions, but we
-
were all home because of the threat of the bad weather.
-
And so I don't know about you, but I benefited from the storm
-
because it was beautiful out. I'm, I'm, I'm not trying to put
-
off anything else that tragically happened somewhere,
-
but it was nice outside. The wind was blowing and it was
-
just very comfortable. So I went out in my backyard
-
where my wife already was sitting on the swing.
-
And that's where she and I kind of resorted, admittedly today,
-
I'll tell you that there was stuff that we needed to be
-
doing. There was stuff that needed to
-
be done. But we spent some time back
-
there on the swing and, and we, we have a have a wood pile right
-
behind my swing and I had a spare piece of wood sitting up
-
there. And this year and both last
-
year, that's attracted some wood boring bees.
-
And so while we're sitting there, the bees are coming and
-
going and you know, they're quite big and intimidating at
-
that. And so my wife was in war mode.
-
She was in war mode with these bees.
-
She she had some decorative pillow that we have outside and
-
she was using it as a family swatter and she was swinging
-
left and right at these bees. She swung so hard one time and
-
hit it. She thought she had done it.
-
She even ripped her decorative pillow trying to do this.
-
And so she just swinging and doing all this stuff.
-
So after so many encounters with the, the, the boring bees, we,
-
we have a trampoline in our backyard.
-
And so we moved to the trampoline.
-
Now imagine this for a moment. We have a pretty quaint
-
neighborhood that we have a lot of neighbors real close.
-
You know, it's like our yards about each other quite quickly,
-
you know, not too much feet in between our houses.
-
And imagine this Gray haired lovely lady and myself both
-
pushing into our late 40s, headed to 50, pulling ourselves
-
up on this trampoline to lay down on our backs.
-
Nonetheless, as we're peering up into the sky, there's a tower
-
not far from our house that has a lot of vultures.
-
But whenever the wind's blowing, they love to become personal
-
kites in the skies. And so we're up there, we're
-
talking, we're pointing, we're looking at these vultures in the
-
sky that's harnessing the wind. And, and we're just talking,
-
right? We're talking, we're laughing.
-
I'm I'm showing her some seating that I'm considering for my
-
office and she's looking at that.
-
We connected and we shared and all that Friday night, there was
-
not any money involved. There was not a special venue
-
unless you want to call the trampoline that we just simply
-
had each other's presence. It was simple, but to me it was
-
meaningful and enjoyable. There's a strange phenomenon
-
going on in our world today. It happens in homes, restaurants
-
and churches, anywhere for that matter.
-
You see a man and a woman sitting at the same table in the
-
same place, and they're both on their phones.
-
And it's not just the phone issue, it's this.
-
They're married, but they're not really together.
-
They walk side by side, but they don't walk hand in hand.
-
They share a roof, but they don't share any rhyme of life.
-
And unless somebody told you, you wouldn't even know that they
-
belong to each other. Oh, help me.
-
Jesus, you've seen them. Maybe you've even been there
-
yourself at some period of time in your life.
-
Married couples who act more like roommates than they do soul
-
mates. They split bills, they divide
-
chores. They share kids.
-
But they don't share hearts anymore.
-
And if a stranger had to guess, they wouldn't.
-
Research from the University of Virginia's National Marriage
-
Project found that 45% of married people under the age of
-
45 say they feel emotionally distant from their spouse
-
regularly. The question isn't just are you
-
married? The question is, would anybody
-
be able to tell it? Would anybody know who your wife
-
or your husband is? Could a stranger spy in on your
-
life and say that woman must be his or that man must be hers?
-
Not because of a ring on the finger, not because of a post,
-
not because of anything like that, but just because of how
-
you treat that other person? Help me, Jesus.
-
Could a child even say daddy loves mommy?
-
Or could it say mommy loves daddy?
-
Could a friend even period say those two there, they're still
-
connected? Could a watching world even say
-
there's something different about how they touch, how they
-
talk, how they look at each other?
-
Or would they have to guess? In Genesis 26, Isaac enters
-
Gerard. Here in our scripture text, he's
-
he's pretending that Rebecca is his sister when in fact she was
-
his wife. He's doing just like his father
-
Abraham had done on 2 occasions. You read this at different
-
places in Genesis prior to this time.
-
Abraham at one time enters into Egypt and he's calling his wife
-
his sister. He enters even into Gerard one
-
time and he's calling his wife his sister.
-
Amen. And both of them have a fear
-
they're wives. The Bible says we're fair to
-
look upon modern day language. They were knocked out.
-
They were hot. They were something special.
-
You understand what I'm saying? I mean, they were dripping.
-
Oh, yeah, I'm, I'm getting in there.
-
I don't even know the language, but I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm just kind
-
of just walking a little bit. Amen.
-
They were fair to look upon since they were so beautiful.
-
They were worried about another man that may want their, their,
-
their significant other. And so as husbands, you got to
-
understand the dynamics of the culture as husbands.
-
They were fearful that the men of these cities would want their
-
wives, Amen. And so if it was a husband, they
-
just saw the husband as a obstacle to get the wife.
-
So they would just kill off the husband in order to get the
-
woman. And so that's the reason why
-
they said when we enter these places to say that you are my
-
sister, because the men then wouldn't see that man as a
-
obstacle. It says someone they wanted to
-
get the favor of, right? Someone that they wanted to get
-
in good, good relationship with, if per say, he had the authority
-
to even hand his sister way to be wet.
-
And so that's the reason why they did these things.
-
That's the reason why Isaac even operated under this facade of
-
this of this deception. And but here's what the thing
-
with Isaac, with with Abraham and Sarah.
-
Sarah was literally Abraham's half sister, but Rebecca wasn't
-
even Isaac's half sister, Amen, As as Sarah was.
-
And so concerning Abraham, when we look at his story back in
-
Genesis 12 with Pharaoh and Abimelech in Genesis chapter #20
-
the Bible tells us that both Pharaoh and Abimelech learned of
-
Sarah's true identity by divine revelation.
-
Look at the scripture Genesis chapter 12 verses 17 and 18.
-
This is the occurrence of Abraham and Sarah a man in
-
Egypt. The Bible says, and the Lord
-
plagued Pharaoh in his house with great plagues because of
-
Sarah, Abram's wife. And Pharaoh called Abram and
-
said, what is this that thou has done unto me?
-
Why did this thou not tell me that she was thy wife?
-
And so this revelation of this this woman be on his wife was
-
brought by divine revelation. That happens again also in
-
Genesis 20 and three, whenever Abraham and Sarah came to Gerard
-
a man, the Bible says in verse 3.
-
But God came to Abimelech in a dream by night, and said to him,
-
Behold, thou art but a dead man for the woman which thou has
-
taken, for she is a man's wife. So on these two occurrences in
-
Abraham's life, both, for she is a man's wife.
-
So on these two occurrences in Abraham's life, both times his
-
wife, indeed his wife by some type of divine revelation,
-
whether it was of Isaac, it learns the truth that that woman
-
was truly his wife. He didn't learn it from heaven.
-
It wasn't that a great plague come.
-
It wasn't that some divine dream come from him.
-
It wasn't from heaven. It really was from earth.
-
It even wasn't the voice of God that come alongside him and
-
spoke to him. But it was Isaac's own actions,
-
her husband's own actions that gave away that woman is my wife.
-
Abraham must have been pretty good if you think about it.
-
He must have been pretty good at at consciously concealing his
-
husband, wife relationship with Sarah that it took some divine
-
dream or a divine plague in order to reveal it to them.
-
Amen. But Isaac must have been equally
-
pretty good as well because verse 8 tells us it came to pass
-
when he had been there a long time that this deception was
-
finally figured out. Several days had passed.
-
They had already been in this company and they had thought
-
that here was Rebecca being his sister.
-
But the Bible says then in verse 8 that Abimelech, king of the
-
Philistines, looked out at a window and saw and behold, Isaac
-
was sporting with Rebecca his wife.
-
Now folks, let me tell you something.
-
There is a whole pot of meaning and possible definitions for
-
what sporting is. Other translations say The
-
amplified says he saw Isaac caressing Rebecca, his wife.
-
The the the contemporary English version says he saw Isaac
-
hugging and kissing Rebecca. The SV says he saw Isaac
-
laughing with Rebecca, his wife. The message Bible adults here
-
mostly aren't. We hopefully says that it's all
-
Isaac fondling with his wife Rebecca.
-
The new King James Version says that there was Isaac showing
-
endearment to Rebecca, his wife. One of the scholars said that
-
the word translated as sporting derives from a Hebrew word for
-
laughter, but depicts erotic activity.
-
We're talking about in the context of marriage here, OK, So
-
we're not really sure the true absolute definition of the word
-
of sporting. I'm not really sure.
-
I can't stand up here confidently and tell you exactly
-
what Ahimelech. Amen.
-
What Abimelech observed between Isaac and Rebecca, I can't tell
-
you today. But I can tell you whatever he
-
did observe was culturally apparent and unmistakably known
-
to him that that doesn't take place unless those two people or
-
husband, there was something that tipped him off enough to a
-
degree that that type of activity is the type of activity
-
that takes place between a husband and a wife.
-
That type of voice, that type of touch, that type of longing in
-
the eye, whatever it is, that's something that takes place
-
between a husband and his wife in so much that he got away from
-
there. And when he had time aside with
-
Isaac, he said emphatically, without any reservation, that
-
woman is not your sister. That woman is your wife.
-
So what happened? Here's what happened.
-
Abimelech got a window into the lives of Isaac and Rebecca from
-
this moment. We understand this isn't a
-
scripted moment. They didn't know they had an
-
audience. So it's just a benign
-
interaction between a man and his wife.
-
And Abimelech is observing. He's watching.
-
It seems as though from a distance.
-
He's not even hearing say words. He's just reading their
-
behavior. No dream from God.
-
He didn't hear a confession. He just watched undetected and
-
he knew that's his wife. I questioned us today.
-
Then in this building, the Bible was good for all types of
-
things, salvation and relationship.
-
Could an outsider deduce who your spouse was by observing how
-
you treat them? And what would they see?
-
What would they hear, What would they notice?
-
Wasn't a divine warning that came, or a dream for that
-
matter. Though I don't know if we can
-
exclude what happened here with Abimelech and what he saw.
-
I don't know if we can exclude that from being the divine
-
revelation. And the reason why I say that is
-
because God designed a unique connection between a husband and
-
wife for enjoyment, if you will. Ecclesiastes 9 and verse #9 the
-
preacher is talking to us. Solomon is saying that this is
-
what he says in verse 9 of Ecclesiastes 9 Live joyfully
-
with the wife whom thou lovest all thy days of thy life, of thy
-
vanity, which he have given thee under the sun, all the days of
-
thy vanity. For that is thy portion in this
-
life and in thy labor, which thou take us under the sun.
-
Look at this. The Bible says that all
-
Scripture is God breathed. It's inspired of God, which
-
means it's God breathed in the book of Timothy.
-
So God inspired what what the preacher, what Solomon wrote
-
here in Ecclesiastes and basically has Solomon write this
-
if if you if you just kind of break it down.
-
Solomon is telling us that our portion in our life and labor on
-
this earth is joyfully living with our wife.
-
I want you to just take that in, soak that in for a moment.
-
Of all the things that he could have said was our portion or our
-
share or our part in this life, the one thing that he hones in
-
on, he says your share, your portion in this life is living
-
joyfully with your wife. What's that mean?
-
That means if I'm not, then I'm missing a significant aspect of
-
what this life is. He could have had a list of
-
things that he had just planted right there in verse #9 Blake.
-
And the labor of this life is to live joyfully with your life.
-
Here's the fact of the matter. And I, I'll speak to men.
-
We could also speak to women. But this is vice versa here
-
today. Sometimes even as men, we pursue
-
work and ministry and legacy more than we pursue joy.
-
But it even goes to the degree to mean it's our inheritance.
-
Wait a minute, what? Yes, our spouse represents our
-
inheritance in this life. She's our inheritance in this
-
thing that we even call work. Therefore, as a result, if you
-
had somebody right now today that was standing at the
-
declaration of an estate after someone has died and they're
-
divvying up, if you will, land or monies or possessions of
-
inheritances. And I know some people are
-
frivolous. They could care less, but most
-
people, they're going to see whatever it is that they
-
received as something very treasured because it's an
-
inheritance that has been given into them.
-
Amen. Solomon says, inspired by the
-
Holy Ghost. Your spouse is that treasure in
-
this life. Oh, yeah.
-
Amen. Treasure.
-
So here's here's the thing that don't need to happen.
-
I know I've only been married for a few years and we're going
-
on, what, 28 this year? Only 28, Mom and dad.
-
This year's going to be how many years?
-
60 years crazy in the day's world, Craig, crazy.
-
Marriage doesn't need to start terrific and then become
-
tolerable. Not that it's going to be
-
perfect. I don't know, a perfect
-
marriage. I know we do our weddings with
-
like made in heaven and all that stuff.
-
Let me tell you, it's made in heaven with the fear of hell.
-
There are UPS, there are downs, there is good and there is bad.
-
I know it won't be perfect, but can we extract any joy from it?
-
Can we extract any joy? Can Can other people tell?
-
Other people tell by the tone that we use that she's my wife.
-
Can other people tell by by the way that she looks at me or I
-
look at her across the room in a crowd, that they are my spouse,
-
or how I protect them, or how I cherish them, or how just a
-
simple smile comes up on my face when she or he enters the room?
-
Could that tell? Hey, man, Isaac never had that.
-
Listen to me, Isaac never look again.
-
Isaac never had to tell them that Rebecca was his wife
-
because he couldn't help but sport with her even when he
-
tried to hide it. Amen.
-
Look at the Bible here. Here's another unmistakable
-
relationship with Jacob and Rachel.
-
The Bible says in Genesis chapter 29 and verse #20 and
Genesis 29 chapter mention
-
Jacob served. Folks, this is a different
-
culture and different age. Jacob served seven years for
-
Rachel and look at this next phrase and they seemed unto him
-
but a few days for the love. Let's get down here with doctor
-
love for the love he had to her seven years to get her hand only
-
to find out on that seven whenever he got her in the
-
marriage took place. The Bible says in the morning it
-
wasn't Rachel, it was Leah, the elder sister.
-
And the Bible says he loved Rachel, but it was Leah.
-
And so seven years, he says it's just been a few days.
-
I love her. Fair to lookable.
-
And as a result of all this now trickery of it being Leah,
-
Jacob's love for Rachel is so evident that not only did he
-
serve seven years, but Laban told him you're going to have to
-
serve an additional seven years in order to get Rachel's hand in
-
marriage. And Jacob admitted, hey, you
-
beguiled me. Yes, but we never read that,
-
that he refused the offer. We never read they refused the
-
offer or it was unfair to work 7 more years to get the 1 he loved
-
And you want, you want to talk about an unmistakable
-
relationship? It wasn't like 714.
-
Forget it. That's where I drove the line,
-
asking too much. Come on.
-
Because do we have imaginary lines in our relationship when
-
it's like, Nope, that's too much too far.
-
I'm not willing to serve her or him to that degree.
-
Well, God help me, Jesus. There are a few stories in
-
scripture that ever focus on Isaac.
-
As you read through the Bible, man heavy on Abraham, heavy on
-
Jacob, but there's not a lot said about Isaac.
-
And so we lean in whenever we receive some knowledge
-
concerning Isaac. Isaac is the son of his parents
-
old age, right? Abraham and Sarah, he was born
-
to them whenever they were owed an old love.
-
Isaac is the product of an old love.
-
Amen. And the Bible tells us that when
-
Rebecca was brought to Isaac by Abraham's servant, it was one of
-
the longest chapters in the Bible, in the book of Genesis of
-
Abraham's servant finding a wife for Isaac.
-
That whenever Abraham's servant brings Rebecca to Isaac, the
-
Bible basically tells us that Isaac loved her.
-
All right, and he also loved her.
-
We understand that Rebecca was barren during those first parts
-
of their marriage for 20 years, or I say 20 years.
-
For 20 years, Rebecca was barren, could not have an
-
offspring. Yet during those 20 years of
-
barrenness, what is Isaac doing? He is loving his wife.
-
He's attending to and serving his wife for those 20 years
-
nonetheless. And look what happens.
-
This is Genesis 24 verse 67. All right.
-
This is the long chapter in Genesis 24 about getting a wife
-
for for Isaac. This is when Sarah, or rather
-
when Rebecca's brought and Isaac brought her, Speaking of Rebecca
-
into his mother Sarah's tent and took Rebecca and she became his
-
wife and he loved her and Isaac was comforted after his mother's
-
death. Now this is interesting.
-
Number one, you got to understand this.
-
It's not like Isaac and Rebecca had this courting season or
-
dating season. This is a different time.
-
She was brought introduced to him.
-
He took her as his wife and loved her.
-
In the in the ancient Near Eastern cultures, for a man to
-
show public expressions of romantic affection and and love
-
it it was rare is considered private in their culture unmanly
-
to openly display that. As a matter of fact, the Bible
-
rarely tells us whenever a man loved his wife rarely does.
-
But here it says in this verse it tells us plainly that Isaac
-
loved Rachel or Rebecca. And so that phrase carries some
-
weight for you and I, because it's the very same thing that
-
we'll see, that Abimelech evidently saw whenever he spied
-
out into their life from a distance, some type of
-
endearment, the one between the other.
-
And here's the fact Isaac loved Rebecca before he really knew
-
her in the way that our modern culture, he didn't pick her.
-
Abraham's servant picked her under God's direction and
-
brought her back again. No long courtship, no emotional
-
build up. The Bible says Isaac took
-
Rebecca and she became his wife and he loved her.
-
Follow me here real quick. For Isaac it wasn't love and
-
then commitment. For Isaac, it was commitment and
-
then love. It was commitment and then love.
-
Someone say Amen. And as a result of that,
-
according to the Scripture, the Bible tells us that Isaac was
-
comforted. He has recently lost his mother,
-
Sarah. She has died in Genesis 23.
-
Her tent has remained unoccupied as a result of this.
-
It's a visible sign of of a loss and an absence in the family.
-
Her tent is vacant. And so I'm sure whenever Rebecca
-
shows up and Isaac pulls her into his, that vacant tent, that
-
unoccupied space, that there is a myriad of emotions that's
-
dredged up inside of Isaac when he's standing in his deceased
-
mother's tent and next to him is this Rebecca that is standing
-
there. But the Bible describes that the
-
love and Rebecca had went so much so beyond the realm of
-
romantic love that the love that they had, he, it was his wife.
-
She was and he loved her. The Bible continues to tell us
-
in that verse that it brought healing.
-
Hear me today, it brought healing.
-
Look at it, Isaac. The Bible says he loved her.
-
She he brought her in. She became his wife.
-
He loved her. In Genesis 2467, Isaac was
-
comforted after his mother's death.
-
This love that they had between them was more than just a
-
romantic love. It was a love that helped Isaac
-
heal. Rebecca entered a space that
-
Isaac brought her into. He brought her into that tent.
-
He brought her into that space. It was a space of loss.
-
It was a space of grief. It was a space, if you will, of
-
feeling now this abandonment in this void.
-
He brought his wife into that space and he was comforted.
-
Folks, let me tell you today, some of the joy of the portion
-
of the inheritance in this life is that God has given you
-
someone in your marriage that when you've suffered loss, when
-
there is heartache, when there is despair, there is something
-
in that love that goes beyond emotion and romantic love.
-
There's a healing agent, that is.
-
I believe it's a tremendous picture shown there in the 67th
-
verse of what marriage life should be.
-
It's where two people enter a commitment and they choose to
-
love each other with a love that has healing qualities to heal
-
what's inside of the other person.
-
And no matter what you face, you can enter to that thing and you
-
can have comfort, you can have healing.
-
Because even in all the loss, even in all the grief, even in
-
all the uncertainty, our spouse remains our portion in this
-
life. So for job loss, you still have
-
a portion in this life. Going through some turbulent
-
times you still have a portion in this life health
-
deteriorating. You still have a portion in this
-
life. He or her is unmistakably yours
-
or should be in his extensive study on marriage psychologist.
-
You may have heard of his name Doctor John Gottman.
-
I've I've heard podcast concerning.
-
I've read things concerning my daughter's had him in stuff
-
along the lines of him in college.
-
We've discussed it back and forth.
-
But Doctor John Gottman found that what sets healthy, lasting
-
marriages apart isn't grand gestures or compatibility
-
quizzes or things like that, but it's visible patterns of
-
connection. He has what's called a spath
-
coding system. And in this Gottman highlights
-
facial expressions, touch tone, eye contact signals that
-
indicate some type of emotional closeness.
-
He'll be monitoring. He has a love lab and that's A
-
and going down to the love lab. He has a love lab.
-
He'll has married couples come and he'll have them talk along
-
the subject that there might be a little bit of tension with
-
them in their relationship. And he'll monitor the, the, the
-
palms, the the how wet they are. If sweaty they are, he'll, he'll
-
monitor heartbeat. He'll monitor even has their
-
chairs with a jiggle meter on it, how much they move in their
-
chair as they're talking about these different things.
-
And so he's developed this love lab and he could watch couples
-
and interact and predict this is documented and predict with over
-
90% accuracy which ones would last just by observing how they
-
treat treat one another in small yet visible ways.
-
He'll take 15 minutes of a conversation and that each
-
segment at each second, he'll judge by the spat code at each
-
second where they are AT, and then from the cumulative of all
-
that he has come to be 90% accurate.
-
The study revealed that a lack of small, visible acts of
-
affection like smiling, touching and meaningful conversation
-
predicts a relationship decline with near scientific precision.
-
What are you saying? I'm saying Isaac didn't need a
-
love lab. He brought her into the tent and
-
later Abimelech didn't need a divine dream because he just saw
-
something and he knew. Or the Terry?
-
What about us? What do people see when they see
-
our marriage and they tell whether it has life still or
-
not, or that Joy's already left their home?
-
You can stand with me today and I'll hasten to a close.
-
Folks. Let me tell you this, and I say
-
this often, and the local church family probably get tired of
-
hearing it, but marriage is under attack because marriage is
-
the very model that God pointed to in Scripture to be
-
illustrative of Christ in his church.
-
And it's under attack on all kinds of levels, particularly in
-
the modern day world about even what marriage means.
-
Is it between a man and a wife or is it, you understand what
-
I'm saying? It's on attack on all types of
-
levels because it's the very model that he used before Christ
-
in his church, that if you can tamper with the model, people
-
will have a misunderstanding about what that relationship
-
it's supposed to be like. And so it's under attack.
-
And so with that, this morning, we live in a world today.
-
And listen, I'm your friend today, OK?
-
I'm your friend. We live in a world today where
-
there's all types of couples that are sharing beds, but they
-
don't share any burdens. They share calendars, what's
-
going on in their life and their kids life, but they don't share
-
their hearts names but no tenderness rings on the finger
-
but no romance vows that they did on a particular date and
-
might have a picture hanging in their house, but no visible
-
affection just now. Ceremony with no connection.
-
And if the world is watching, and let me pause and tell you it
-
is, I hope that they see more than just two people surviving
-
under the same roof. So Sheila wanted to see signs of
-
joy, signs of laughter, signs of a comfort with each other in the
-
same space. I want them to see healing.
-
I want to be able to. I want to be able to look
-
through the window of our lives and for them to be able to
-
declare without any reservation of the surety.
-
She is thy wife of a surety. He is your husband because of
-
what they said, what they try to paint on their social media
-
front, but because of what they were showing when no they knew
-
no one was looking or observing. You hear me?
-
I'd be real plain today, but walking the dog in public when
-
it's in shambles in private doesn't change what's in
-
private. Brother Mason, you can come
-
unmistakably, if we can just bow our heads here today, close our
-
eyes unmistakably, unmistakably yours.
-
Brother McGee, this just really didn't apply today.
-
I'm I'm single. I've never been married.
-
Well, pre adventure, you're married someday.
-
There's your application. Well, brother McGee, this
-
doesn't really apply to me today.
-
I'm single and I have been in a marriage and it didn't work out.
-
Well, it applies if you ever seem to look at and want to go
-
in another direction of having another marriage.
-
If you're married today, it applies to you.
-
If you're a young person and it seems maybe far off, it applies
-
to you, applies to us all. Applies to us all.
-
God has given us something in the covenant of marriage, the
-
leave and the cleave that he spoke of in Genesis.
-
Is there anything, is there any joy that can be extracted there
-
to anything that can be observed there?
-
Sir, ma'am, I believe, I believe that that man that you call your
-
husband or that that woman that you call your wife, I believe, I
-
believe they're worth loving. I believe they're worth
-
investing in. I believe they're worth serving,
-
as Jacob said, seven years, 14. Yes, they're worth that because
-
Solomon says this is our portion in this life and work.
-
But when you crawl in bed beside that individual at night, you're
-
crawling in bed behind, next to your inheritance in this life
-
that when you hold that hand, you're holding your portion in
-
this life that before you become ugly with your words.
-
And we have times that we're idiots.
-
But when you, you become ugly with your words and, and, and
-
you're just very begrudging and you're very with contempt and
-
all these things. Remember what you're holding
-
there, you're holding, you're holding your treasure in this
-
life and work, the one that's to be unmistakably yours.
-
I give my wife a hard time all the time.
-
She's got good genes. I got bad genes when it comes to
-
health, right? So I'm already on medication,
-
have been for years because of health and she doesn't, she's
-
not on a single thing. Dirty dog got the gene pool.
-
So I tell her, I said, you know that only thing that means is
-
I'm going to die before you do, which statistically men
-
typically do. She's like, don't say that, but
-
standing here today, however far removed that is, I want that one
-
that's the the portion of my life to be the one that's there
-
whenever I take my last breath. The one that we created
-
children, the one that I created children with.
-
I've walked through a few things in this 28 years of marriage.
-
And you know what I found healing in a tent that was
-
spelling loss and grief and despair.
-
But because she was there, God had sanctioned that you on
-
healing there shouldn't have by all under by under all other
-
circumstances I should not have, but it did because it's the
-
power of our treasure. It's the power of our portion in
-
this life. If you're standing next to your
-
spouse today, I'd ask you just to grasp their hand this
-
morning. And if they're not, you know
-
where they are. They, I know some are traveling
-
and so on and so forth, but you just grasp that hand.
-
And if your spouse isn't here today, I want you to raise your
-
hand toward the Lord. And I want you to ask God to
-
help you in this life to appreciate the treasure, to
-
appreciate the portion that He has given to us in this life.
-
I'd like my wife to join me right now.
-
Appreciate the portion, appreciate the treasure.
-
Hallelujah. It wouldn't even hurt to just
-
speak some words over each other in prayer right now.
-
Father, I come to you, God, I have, I have felt the witness of
-
your spirit here today. And you know far better than I,
-
God, why you have directed me to this road this morning.
-
But this is the road that we have walked.
-
I pray, O God, today I pray, O God, today God, I want Lord.
-
If someone would spy in Lord, have a window into my life, God
-
that unmistakably Lord, they could tell.
-
Unmistakably God, they could deduce God that she's my wife
-
and that I'm her husband. I I pray, O God today, help me,
-
O Lord, to live joyfully God with that white all my years.
-
But this is my portion in my work, Lord Jesus in my work it's
-
my portion God my inheritance. I pray, O God today, Lord, you
-
able to wrap Lord your arms about Lord the people and the
-
relationships in this building. God, those, Lord, maybe that
-
have just freshly exited relationship ships, those God
-
that may be considering new relationships, I pray, O God,
-
those where it might be many years removed, God, those that
-
have went, Lord, through divorces, God, those, Lord
-
Jesus, God, they're still dealing with hurt and pain.
-
Lord God from former relationships, I pray, O God,
-
today be the balm of Gilead in this place, Lord over families,
-
be the balm of Gilead, Lord, Be a healing agent.
-
Lord in this place, God for husbands and wives.
-
God, there's been words of animosity where there's been
-
words of hatred, where there's been words of misunderstanding.
-
I pray God come down. Lord, let there be alignment
-
that would take place when within the home.
-
Alignment, Lord, emotional alignment, romantic alignment.
-
God that would take place within the home and family.
-
Help them get back in touch with Lord what they were once Lord
-
impressed by. Lord in that under the other
-
individual God, that spark, that once Lord tired God on them.
-
Let it not tired, let it not vain, let it not wither.
-
There'll be hard times, there'll be difficult times, we won't
-
always get it right, But Lord that there always be something
-
we can extract some joy from God, that we can extract from
-
joy from God, that we would be unmistakably each other's God.
-
God, I pray against, Lord, the hand of the adversary, they
-
would want to mix and muddle. Lord, the model, Lord Jesus of
-
marriage, God would want to tear it down, disintegrate it, Lord,
-
dilute it. I pray God to degree God, that
-
brings confusion to the model of Christ in his church.
-
I pray today, hedges of protection.
-
I pray today, hedges of protection around every home,
-
every family. Oh, God, Brother Mason, if you
-
have a song on your heart right now, we can sing it.
-
Amen. I want to be mindful of the Lord
-
in this place again, I know we all enter this building with
-
maybe with a myriad of histories and, and different feelings that
-
arise whenever someone will begin to talk about these type
-
of things. But they need to be talked
-
about. They're in the Bible.
-
We need to talk about them.