Response to Revenge | 2 Samuel 3

You're listening to the Bridgetown Church Podcast with

Pastor Casey Kendall, where our vision is Jesus, our mission is

people, and our cause is love. Thanks for tuning in.

Let's dive in. Good morning, church, So

thankful for you all. It was about a year ago that

Kate and I walked through those doors and we were embraced by

the hospitality team and the members of this church.

There it is. I'm a little taller than Casey,

so yeah. So Kate and I, my beautiful

girlfriend, we've been coming to the church for about a year now.

Pastor Casey has been beat, has been meeting with me throughout

that time and, and been working with me, discipling me and, and

forming me to look more like Christ.

And part of that is I'm pursuing my bachelor's degree at Life

Pacific University in ministry with a minor in biblical

studies. And yeah, God has put on my

heart a desire to share his word and, yeah, to love his people.

And so, yeah, time to preach now that Pastor Casey and I have

finished our book together. Originally a little nervous, but

I'm so thankful to have a pastor who's behind us and behind me.

And so, yeah, I'm thankful for you all.

So as you know, we've been going through the book of Second

Samuel together as a church, and we'll continue that today in

Chapter 3. But first, I want to open with a

question to you all. Have you ever felt betrayed?

Well, King David has King David give, King David gives us a

practical example of how we can respond to revenge.

So just to give everyone some context for today's message, I

want to recap the story of Second Samuel up until this

point. And I know Chris shared last

week about fasting to prepare us for our fast this week as a

church. And the week before that, Pastor

Casey shared a big chunk of scripture in Second Samuel.

And I just want to make sure everyone's on the same page so

that way we can track with today's message.

So Pastor Casey gave a character guide a couple of weeks ago to

kind of help us understand the characters, remember them.

They're not always names that we're familiar with, and so I'm

going to go over that one more time so that way we can track

with the story. So for those of you taking

notes, I'll go over this list a little slower so you can write

it down to help you remember. So first, our main character is

the easiest one to remember, and that's King David, right?

So King David is the newly appointed king at this point,

and he's only king over one of the 12 tribes of Israel.

Next, we have Ishibashef. Ishibashef is the newly

appointed king over the other 11 tribes.

Ishibashef is Saul's son. So after we have Shiba chef, we

have David over here, right? And we have Joab.

Now Joab is David's main general, and he's also David's

nephew, and so they're related. Then we have Shiba Chef's main

general, Abner. Abner is also Saul's cousin.

And so we have these contrasting generals.

We have Joab and we have Abner. And then another key and

important character in the story is Ashayel.

Now, if you guys can remember, a few weeks back, Ashayel is

Joab's brother, who's also still David's nephew.

So now that we understand our characters and we're reminded of

them again, we have a little more context for how to help us

understand the story. So just to remind you all, Saul

dies at the beginning of First Samuel, and it sets the stage

for Second Samuel. So basically Saul is is ends up

falling on his own sword, right? And then a man comes and he

finds Saul dying and Saul asks for him to kill him.

And then this servant or this man, he kills Saul, goes back,

tells David what's happened, and then David ends up killing the

that man as punishment. So after this happens, David

goes to Huron and Judah and then Abner makes a Shiba chef king.

And that's that's really important to note.

So we have Abner, the general appoints a king.

After that, a civil war breaks out between the two tribes and

the begin to fight. During the civil war, there's a

battle where Ashayel, the brother of David's general Joab,

David's nephew, ends up being accidentally killed by Abner,

the general over there. So these armies continue to

fight, and David's army grows in strength while Saul's army grows

weaker. Abner and Ashishev get into a

fight, they argue. Abner, the general of Saul's

army, decides I've had enough, I'm going to go over to David's

and he's going to reunite Israel under David's leadership.

So the war almost ends with Abner's desertion.

But last or two weeks ago when Pastor Casey was preaching, Joe

AB ends up killing Abner out of revenge because of the death and

the murder of his, not the murder, the killing of his

brother Ashayel. So and that sets the stage for

today's text. So Joe AB takes revenge for his

brother's death by killing Abner.

The title of today's message is response to revenge.

We'll look at the text and see how we should respond to

revenge. So if you guys would join me in

looking at the verses in Second Samuel chapter 3, we'll start in

2 Samuel 3 · chapter mention

verse 31. Verse 31 says.

Then David said to Joab and all the people who are with him,

Tear your clothes, gird yourself with sackcloth, and mourn for

Abner. And King David followed the

coffin. So they buried Abner in Huron.

And the king lifted up his voice, and he wept at the grave

of Abner. And all the people wept.

The King's saying lament over Abner, and said, should Abner

die as a fool dies? Your hands were not bound, nor

your feet put in fetters. As a man falls before wicked

men, so you fell. And the people went wept over

him again, verse 35 says. And when all the people came to

persuade David to eat food while it was still day, David took an

oath saying, God do so to me and more also if I taste bread or

anything else until the sun goes down.

Now all of the people took note of it, and it pleased them,

since whatever the king did please the people, for all the

people. And all Israel understood that

day that it did not been the King's intent to kill Abner, the

son of Nur. And then the king said to his

servants, Do you not know that a Prince and a great man has

fallen this day in Israel? David says I am weak today,

though anointed king, these men, the sons of Zariah, are too

harsh for me. The Lord shall repay the

evildoer according to his wickedness.

Let's pray together. Dear God.

Lord, I thank you for your word. Lord, I thank you for just the

people of this church. Lord, I thank you for your

spirit that dwells within us. God, ultimately, I pray that as

I speak today, Lord, as I speak about your word and the things

that have happened, Lord, I pray ultimately that it would be your

words out of my mouth, Lord, that it would be your plans,

Father, that, that my agenda, my intentions, whatever would not

be what's what's heard today or what's listen to God, but it'll,

it would ultimately be the things that you've desired for

us. Father, I thank you for Pastor

Casey, I thank you for for the Kendall family.

Lord, I thank you for just being ascending church.

God I I bless the people of Bridgetown today, Lord, and I

pray that yeah, you just speak through me.

Jesus, in your name we pray. Amen.

Amen. Amen.

All right, so revenge is a really relatable topic.

The people are people have been captivated by the idea or story

of revenge for all of time. Great stories of revenge are

shown in movies and stories alike.

Like Chris was talking about movies last week.

I also love movies and I don't know if you've seen movies like

Gladiator or The Princess Bride or John Wick.

John Wick 2, John Wick Three, Jonah 4, or even stories like

Hamlet and Othello are are really rooted in revenge.

So even the Marvel heroes, The Avengers are driven and

motivated by vengeance. You see, I loved Marvel as a kid

and I remember being 8 years old in 2012.

I'm 21, Pastor Casey is 51, and I'm showing my age a little bit

here, but I remember being so excited to go and see the new

Avengers movie in theaters. It was my birthday and I got to

go see it with my family and my friends.

I was so excited to see my favorite heroes like Captain

America and Iron Man and Hulk and Thor.

I would park myself in front of my TV every Saturday to watch

the cartoons, but 8 year old me was particularly captivated by

the fight for justice and I was moved by 1 scene in the movie.

So The Avengers, to give a little context, they're fighting

one another, they just aren't getting along.

And then there's this agent that kind of gets them all together,

Agent Phil Coulson, and he ends up being killed by the villain

Loki. Now, The Avengers, they really

felt his loss, and they found the strength and courage to

fight the villain Loki together after this moment.

So The Avengers were actually motivated by the death of Agent

Phil Coulson. So revenge really grips us as

people, You know, we're captivated by the stories of

revenge. And the reason why revenge is so

captivating is because we feel that there should be

consequences for bad actions, right?

You know, like, I don't know about you guys, but when someone

cuts me off on the freeway, my initial like gut reaction is

like, they need to know that they've done wrong to me and

they need to pay for it. You know, like I'm I'm going to

lean on my horn. I'm not going to, I want to lean

on my horn. I want to cut around them.

You know, I want to like drive up next to him and give him one

of the who's driving that car, You know, like that's my initial

response. And and who knows, maybe that's

just me, but maybe you're cut off from the freeway.

Maybe someone lied to get a promotion that you should have

gotten. Maybe you've been cheated on.

Maybe someone stole from you. You know, maybe your name was

tarnished and you decided to fire back and drag someone

else's name through the mud. The reality is that betrayal is

heartbreaking, and this is something that everyone

struggles with. You know, I know countless times

when I've decided I need to take justice in my own hands.

I need to make sure the person in front of me knows that they

did something wrong and that it's my job to make things

right. And that's the thing.

The world will applaud you for taking revenge.

Like John Wick getting revenge for his puppy, or like Maximus

Decimus Meridius, you know, revenging his wife and his son.

The world provides a different solution to the problem of

revenge than the Bible does. You see, the world says to get

even with them. The world says to take the law

into your own hands. The world says to fight fire

with fire, to give them what they deserve.

Meanwhile, the Bible tells us something different.

The Bible tells us the Bible describes revenge differently

than the world does. In Second Samuel chapter 2,

2 Samuel 2:26

verse 26, Abner is being pursued by Joab and this is during this

big battle in which Abner accidentally kills Ashayel.

And so after this Joab is in pursuit of Abner because he

wants him dead and Ashayel. After Ashayel is killed, Abner

recognizes how destructive revenge truly is, and he says to

him, he says to Joab in verse 26 of chapter 2.

Must the sword devour forever? Don't you realize that this will

end in bitterness? How long before you order your

men to stop pursuing their fellow Israelites?

Must the sword devour forever? Abner recognizes the cycle that

vengeance produces, killing and more killing and more killing.

The sword is in charge, so revenge also leads to bitterness

as described here. Abner recognizes the cycle and

that's why he calls for it to stop.

Joab eventually relents and decides to take his men back and

the army split apart for some time.

And even in Deuteronomy 32 verse 35, God says it is mine to

Deuteronomy 32:35

avenge. I will repay.

In Deuteronomy, we can see what the Bible says about revenge.

Taking revenge on our part removes God from His rightful

place. It places us in there instead.

Something really crucial to note about this passage is that God

doesn't say revenge is wrong. He just wants us to put it into

his hands. So in the Old Testament, God

expects his justice to be enacted through his people.

And so we may think that it's confusing when we hear that

justice is the Lord's and then all the sudden you're told in

the Old Testament law like, hey, when this happens, you're

supposed to kill that person. And I just want to clear

something up really quickly that God does command to kill in the

Old Testament law under certain circumstances.

But ultimately, in this case, vengeance is by God's rules and

not our own. And so the vengeance is still in

God's hands. And This is why Paul writes in

Romans, beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give

place to wrath. For it is written, vengeance is

mine. I will repay, says the Lord.

You see, an absence of a reaction on our part doesn't

mean justice won't happen. And I think that's that's the

thing that's frustrating when you're cut off on the freeway,

you know, or you're lied to or whatever is you feel like if I

don't do something right now, they'll never know they're wrong

and they'll never pay for what they've done.

The Bible tells us that's not true.

God's in charge. If we believe God to be just, as

Christians we believe God is just.

That means we can trust God with vengeance or with justice and

vengeance and free ourselves from this burden of judgement.

So as we look again at the story in Second Samuel chapter 3, we

2 Samuel 3 · chapter mention

can see that Joab felt he needed to take justice into his own

hands. You see, Joab ignores

leadership. He acts foolishly.

He reacts out of vengeance and he also, he hurts the people he

works to protect. You see, Abner was about to

reconnect all of Israel. And if Joab is really on David's

team, if he's really on his side, he would have rejoiced at

the thought that there would be no more killing between him and

his fellow Israelites. You see, Jobs action of

vengeance harms not only himself, but also David and his

Kingdom. And that is where this passage

leaves us. So Joab acts rashly and David

shows his response to revenge. And that is the main question

that I asked myself when I read this story is how do I respond

how God wants me to when I'm wronged, not how the world wants

me to respond. And so first and foremost, I

want to point out a critical piece and how we should respond

to revenge. You see, in this passage, Joab

is murdered. Like, boom, I mean, not Job

Abner is murdered. Joab murders Abner in cold

blood. And I think it's really

important to note that the biblical response to murder in

this passage is mourning. When David's friend Jonathan was

killed, he mourned in in Second Samuel chapter 1.

2 Samuel 1 · chapter mention

But also, when David's enemy, Abner was killed, he mourned.

You see, David had been fighting a brutal war against Saul and

his army for quite some time now.

Saul persecuted David for over 10 years.

Abner, the cousin of Saul, he was the general of Saul's army.

More than that, Abner was a puppet master.

After Saul's death, he's the one who appoints A Shibashet king

over Saul's house. And so he installed a Shibashet

king so he could manipulate him so he could be in charge.

You see, the main opposition between David and and the throne

at this point in the whole Kingdom of Israel is Abner.

Abner is the one in charge. So if there's anyone David had a

right to call an enemy, it was Abner.

But this makes his response so powerful because instead of

rejoicing at the death of his enemy and military mind behind

Saul's army, David mourns his death.

You see, in verse 31, it says, then David said to Joab and to

all the people who are with him, tear your clothes and gird

yourself with sackcloth and mourn for Abner.

And King David followed the coffin, you see.

David took on the burden of mourning for Abner.

It's important to note that David took on the role of chief

mourner within Hebrew tradition. You see, the chief mourner in

Hebrew culture was typically the next of kin.

It would have been family. And so by stepping into this

role, David steps into a radical role of adoption, of bringing

Abner into his family. David also assumed

responsibility as he took on the burden of mourning for Abner.

This would have been so powerful at the time and today and and

David restored honor to Abner by giving him a proper burial and a

mourning process. So not only was this a sign of

honor, but it also signals David's sincerity.

You see, if if you're king and then your greatest enemy is

killed by somebody else under your command and outside looking

as on from the outside looking in, you might think the king

just got that guy killed. And I'm sure that's what a lot

of the Israelites were thinking at this time.

But as they see David humble himself and step behind the

coffin to become the chief mourner, their perspective would

have changed. They would have been said

instead said, oh, David didn't have that guy killed because

look at how hurt he is by this In verse 32, it's important to

note that David doesn't bottle up his grief.

You see, David lifted up his voice and he wept at the grave

of Abner and all of the people wept.

So David showed his public or his pain publicly.

And it's also really important to notice that David's mourning

sparked mourning and all of the people around him.

You know, it's so easy to think that our vulnerability, our

weaknesses are are viewed negatively in today's day and

age, right? But what David's vulnerability

and David's weakness does in this story is allow others to

feel the same pain. So David grieves with his

community. Our grief can be seen as a

weakness in culture today, but sharing your pain and being

honest breaks down walls for others to mourn as well.

So as you can see in the text that David.

Instantly addresses Joab by saying.

Then David said to Joab and all of the people who are with him,

Tear your clothes and gird on sackcloth and lament before

Abner. You see David's immediate

response is to address the problem and that's Joab.

King David curses Joab and his descendants.

In the previous verses. You see, David may have taken

initial steps to address the issue, but also as chief

mourner, David had more responsibility than simply

calling out Joab. While David had given honor to

Abner by mourning him, King David really only took a half

step towards obedience in this passage.

While it was remarkable that David would actively and

publicly mourn his enemy, David had a duty and a responsibility

to obey God's law. The Levitical law demanded that

the land was cleansed of blood guilt.

Blood guilt done by Joab. See, Abner was murdered

wrongfully, and David even admits to this in his lament,

saying, should Abner have died as the lawless die?

David also clearly knows that something must be done about

these sons of Zariah, as he says in verse 39, and sons of Zariah

being Joab and Ashayel was the other son of Zariah within this

story. His failure to hold Joab

accountable here foreshadows his failures later in his life.

You see, David's choice to publicly mourn and weep shows

his heart. David was able to convince the

people that he did not intend for Abner to die.

This ends up helping him instill himself as the rightful king of

Israel. And David's actions are both

strategic and genuine. But at first glance, we think

like, oh, he's got it all together.

He's doing everything right. But realistically, David has a

responsibility to hold Joab accountable and put him to

death, and he's failing to fulfill that.

You see, David has a responsibility to kill Joab for

murdering Abner. The law dictates that David must

kill Joab for his murder. Abner's killing of Ashayel was

accidental and on the battlefield, whereas Joab's

killing of Abner was cold and premeditated.

You see David's inability to act eventually caught up to him.

You see in verse First Kings chapter 2, David was dying and

1 Kings 2 · chapter mention

giving final instructions to Solomon his son.

When he says in verse 5. Now you yourself know that Joab,

the son of Zariah, did to me what he did to the two

commanders of Israel's armies, Abner, the son of Nur, and

Amasa, son of Jethro. He killed them, shedding their

blood in peacetime as if in battle, And with that blood he

stained the belt around his waist and his sandals and on his

feet. Deal with him according to your

wisdom, but do not let his Gray head go down to the grave in

peace. So David is now addressing his

son Solomon, who's about to take over the throne at the end of

his life. He's telling him, hey, Joab

ended up killing two commanders and he has to pay for that.

So on his deathbed, David asks his son to do what he should

have done. In this text in Second Samuel

2 Samuel 3 · chapter mention

Chapter 3, notice why Joab or why David says Joab needs to be

executed. David says for what he did to

the two commanders, but that that prompts a question because

in this text Joab is only killed Abner and as it turns out, Joab

eventually snuffs out the life of another man.

So David's in action in Second Samuel chapter 3 actually lead

2 Samuel 3 · chapter mention

leads to more death and chaos as a result of delayed obedience.

Another commander lost their life.

If this doesn't highlight the real world ramifications of a

lack of obedience and I don't know what does so that that kind

of leaves us a question of like why didn't why didn't David obey

then you know like if he should have just killed Job, he

probably had a reason of why not whether it was good or bad.

So some scholars believe that David did not kill Joab because

Job was a good general. He's good at his job.

Some scholars also believe that he didn't kill him because he

was his nephew and his family. You see, David ultimately

chooses his own security and success over obedience to God's

justice. Job was good at his job, and

David might have been afraid to lose that.

You see, David also felt fear of what may happen if he were to

obey God's command because of the power that Job would have

carried as the general of his army.

He's the one controlling the soldiers and all the people.

Killing Joab could have caused him to lose favor with the

people. Now it's important to notice all

these things about why David may have reacted this way, but this

is not a valid excuse for disobeying God.

It gives us reasons for why he disobeyed, but it doesn't excuse

his actions. You see, David never truly

enacts justice for Abner. Instead, he's delegating

responsibility to his son Solomon.

And this is a common problem today.

It could be a Co worker who's extremely productive but treats

people poorly and doesn't align with company standards that a

boss can't afford, feels they can't afford to fire.

For myself, the battle I face is choosing not to confront friends

with their unhealthy patterns because I don't want to lose

their friendship. We see this in Christian circles

as well. You see extreme character flaws,

violent or abusive behavior. We've seen it in the ministries

of people like Ravi Zacharias. The tragedy of Ravi Zacharias

still stings for many of us today.

Now if you don't know who Ravi Zacharias was, he's a world

renowned apologist and minister. He had a global impact.

People looked up to him, they adored him.

But Ravi also had a huge character flaw that were known

by some but were hidden to many. And ultimately Ravi was valued

for the things he produced rather than his character.

So after Ravi died, his after his death, it came out that he

was living in blatant sin while running these global ministries.

And as it turns out after an external investigation that Ravi

was confronted on multiple occasions and those who are

meant to hold them accountable, hold Ravi accountable, forced

victims to sign non disclosure accounts and remain silent on

these issues. So those close who are Ravi,

those who are close to Ravi were more concerned with what he was

produced for them, what he was doing for them, than who he

really was. And, and, and this is so true

with the story of David and Joab, because we can't excuse a

lack of character just because of what you produce.

So David's lack of accountability for Joab allowed

Joab to take another life. You see, one of David's greatest

struggles in life was dealing with his own family.

So he's later going to have problems with his own children.

To conclude the chapter, in Second Samuel chapter 3, David

2 Samuel 3 · chapter mention

says I am weak today, thou anointed king, and these men,

the sons of Zariah are too difficult for me.

May the Lord repay the evildoer according to his evil.

You see, David, it's kind of admitting his limits here.

This passage shows us how relatable David really is.

David, like us, he has flaws, he makes mistakes.

David is human. So that's The thing is, is we

can learn from King David. We can learn from these stories

in the text. We can take from the good, we

can learn from the bad. But ultimately our life as

Christians is not to model our lives to look like David.

David reflects and he points to a better king, and that's King

Jesus. So David fails, tries and fails

to balance mercy and justice. Our perfect King, Jesus Christ

has the ability and power to balance both mercy and justice.

You see in Matthew chapter 5 we see Jesus's response to

Matthew 5 · chapter mention

wrongdoing and how Jesus stops this cycle of revenge.

Jesus says in Matthew 5 verse 38, you've heard it said eye for

Matthew 5:38

an eye, a tooth for a tooth. But I tell you do not resist an

evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right

cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.

And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over

your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one

mile, go with them two miles. Give to the one who asks of you.

Do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

You see, Jesus presents a solution to the problem that

Abner sees in Second Samuel chapter 2 verse 26.

2 Samuel 2:26

You see, Abner says to Joab, shall the sword devour forever?

Do not know that it will be bitter in the end.

Shall the sword devour forever? Abner recognizes this vicious

cycle that human revenge causes vengeance takes control of our

lives and will turn us from grace and love to more

vengeance. Revenge seeps into our hearts

and leads to bitterness, and revenge also puts us or also

makes us put ourselves where we shouldn't be.

Revenge belongs to God. As a reminder, Deuteronomy 32

Deuteronomy 32:35

verse 35 says it is mine to avenge.

I will repay, says the Lord. When we take revenge into our

own hands, we put ourselves in God's shoes.

A lack of immediate reaction on our part does not result in the

absence of justice. You say that one more time.

A lack of immediate reaction on our part does not result in the

absence of justice. God doesn't say that there will

be no vengeance. God wants us to place him in

charge of revenge. If we believe that God is in

control of justice and righteous vengeance, how then should we

live our lives? I I say that we should turn to

Scripture for this answer. You see, Jesus says in Matthew

Matthew 5:43

chapter 5 verse 43, you've heard it said, love your neighbor and

hate your enemy. But I tell you, love your

enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be

children of your Father in heaven.

He causes the sun to rise on the evil and the good.

He sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.

You see, in order to stop the cycle of revenge, we need to

change ourselves. Jesus gives a radical command in

his teaching. And Jesus also gives us

practical applications, a practical application step to

follow in this passage. But this is where I need to be

honest with all of you. As I prepared this message and I

arrived at the conclusion that Jesus wants me to pray for those

who who persecute us, pray for those who take revenge and harm

us. I've struggled with living it

out. This past month.

I've had a situation arise with, with someone close to me that

has betrayed myself, betrayed my family and caused us great harm.

And every day that I go to pray, I find it hard to pray for them.

And every day that I go to pray, I feel the pull to pray for

them. You see, my knowledge of

forgiveness and revenge and my experience are not always

aligned because we're not perfect people, right?

And if, if we're honest with ourselves, sometimes it's hard

to do what God asks us to do. And that's why I can't simply

come on stage, sit up here and tell you, just forgive people

and move on. You know, because I would make

myself a hypocrite because I'm not doing that perfectly.

The reality is, it's not as easy as it seems.

Forgiveness is challenging and can take time.

But fortunately, we have the perfect example of what it means

to forgive. You see, we can forgive others

because we've been forgiven. Jesus Christ took on our

punishment. Jesus was beaten and mocked and

abandoned by those who we loved. Jesus, who had done no wrong,

had every right to cast judgement on the world and

condemn us to death. Jesus sacrifices himself to

cover our sin and to pay for our debt.

You and I are forgiven by the blood of Jesus.

So as we think about fasting and praying, I want to invite you

all to join me in praying for this week or in praying this

week. I want you to pray for those who

persecute you. Pray for that person who

betrayed you. Pray for your spouse who's done

you wrong. Maybe it's apparent that you

can't face. Maybe it's your kid that fights

you tooth and nail. Sorry, mom and dad.

And pray for the person who cuts you off on your way to work.

Because the solution to an act of wrong is not an immediate

reaction on our on our part, but it's a response of prayer.

Praying and forgiveness are how Christians should respond to

wrongdoing in a world that's obsessed with revenge.

So let's follow the example that Christ set for us and forgive

our enemies as we've been forgiven.

We hope you enjoyed this message and we'd love for you to join us

in person every Sunday at 10:30 AM.

For more information and updates, visit

wearebridgetown.com. Thanks for tuning in and we'll

see you next week.