New Year Vision Series: ”Follow Me Again”, John 21

Hey, happy new year. What a weird

beginning of the new year Sunday. We

don't get many rainy Sundays in

California. My son has been commenting

with all the rain about how quickly he's

able to tell who's from California or

not by how quickly they cancel their

plans based on the precipitation that's

coming down outside. Um, so I found that

we're more and more like Californians

the longer we stay. It's just like you

see something wet and it's like gh you

might as well clear the schedule for a

week. Um

on a on a lighter note uh we are

celebrating um celebrating not because

of what happened in the fires but

because of what we've endured. This is

the week a year ago um that we all woke

up not wondering if our homes or our

friends homes were still in existence.

What a year it's been. And uh and and I

have found when you go through something

that you just can't describe that

stretches and and it just leaves

questions, all it does is it brings you

back um to your why. And this morning

really where I'm going to come to is is

going back to who who we are, what our

why is as a church. Just taking a couple

weeks off, starting a new year. I don't

know if you're like me. I literally can

have these moments where I just I I I

pray to the Lord like it's like nothing

I can't remember a single thing of why

I'm doing everything I'm doing. You ever

get to those moments? It's just like

why why God am I doing anything that I'm

doing? And I can just get in a really

weird

unhelpful place

and then he'll remind me. Um,

he reminded me in in the kindest way

possible. I I um I thought I might have

I I woke up last night and I was like,

"Is that a hernia?" Like, I've never had

a hernia. Any of you had a hernia

before?

>> No one. No one's had a hernia. Why see

that hand? Amen. Two or three of you?

Um, I also thought it might be

appendicitis. Anyone had appendicitis?

>> Yeah. Many more because that was more

painful, right? Much more painful than a

hernia. Um, I I found I didn't believe

this, but my wife keeps telling me that

men like can't take pain like women can.

And uh I I thought I was having a hernia

or appendicitis. That is at least what

what what AI told me at 3:00 a.m. last

night when I had a slight tummy ache and

I was wondering like am I am I dying

from from this? And I and I literally

wrote I think it's about a two out of 10

pain-wise. I'm like literally going,

"It's not even that bad." Um, but I'm

wondering if I'm dying and and it might

be a hernia, might be appendicitis. I

took three Tylenol and then the pain

completely went away, which tells you it

really wasn't that bad. Um, but I did

remember then in the midst of that,

like, oh, I know what that was from.

That was from my time with the Lord

yesterday when when I found myself like

on on my face crying and worshiping and

just like being convicted with the

simple gospel and I kind of strained my

stomach a little bit. That's all it was.

That's all it was. All I needed was a

couple Tylenol feel great today. Uh and

and I just want to invite you a little

bit into my process and hopefully in the

midst of this you'll uh you'll kind of

resonate somewhere. I think what we're

all in though is what I call the new

year ache. The new year ache. Um I I

read an article and they described it

like this. I I resonated with about half

the article and then they started

applying it and then I go false gospel.

But a lot of it was really good. Here's

how it went.

It was by Dr. uh Synindra Campoff and

and she it's it's every year I go

through something we might call the new

year ache. What if I told you that the

best new year, new you reboot is to do a

whole lot less? Which sounds great. It's

why I clicked on the article. I'm like,

I get to do less and have a whole new

reboot. Great. She says, "A few years

ago, in the quiet moments between

Christmas and New Year's, I I love we

always go away to to New Mexico to see

Sue's family in that time. And I always

have this ideal and usually it's like I

get like one run overlooking like the

the they live up in the hills of the the

New Mexican mountains, and it's

beautiful. And I usually have these

beautiful moments. I didn't get really

any of those this year. I tried. Uh it

didn't work. But I I love the Christmas

and New Year's pause. And she says, "I

caught myself doing something I've

helped thousands of people stop doing."

She said, "Stop scrolling. Stop

comparing and silently questioning

whether I was doing enough." Can anyone

resonate? That's we we sit here and we

we're wondering how we're going to start

the new year scrolling and wondering if

I'm doing enough. And she said, "I had

meaningful work that I loved. I have

loving relationships, a life I was proud

of. And yet, as January approached, I

felt the familiar subtle pressure creep

in. What should I change? What should I

fix? What's my big goal this year?

It used to be number of years ago, I I'

I'd sit around journaling the Lord. Wow.

What do you want to say to me this year,

Jesus? And it was so happy. And then a

friend would go, you know, one thing I'm

doing this year, I'm going to start a

new diet. I'm Oh, tell me more about

your diet. Sounds fun. Let's do it

together. And now and now it's like

every five seconds you're bombarded with

someone that's like this is the way. If

you don't do this, you are wasting your

entire existence. And if you just do

these five things and and it's it's like

your health, your wealth, your family,

your body, your mind, all these things

need a new you and a New Year's

resolution. And it's exhausting.

And there's an ache though because we're

still trying to take stock on this

dynamic of it is a new year. I do need a

reboot. What am I rebooting towards?

What's my why?

What should I change? What should I fix?

What's my big goal this year? And and

this this doctor says it struck me how

automatic my reflex was. Even for

someone who studies confidence, she

says, for a living. Confidence. Every

holiday season, we're handed the same

message. Reinvent yourself on January 1.

New routines, new habits, new programs,

new goals, new you.

But what if instead of resolving to

change in the new year, we resolve to

celebrate the person we are in the

present.

Doesn't that sound nice? Just celebrate

the person you are in the present.

Then she gives some research. I love

research because that just backs up

everything.

and she says, "According to my team's

2025 national research study on

confidence, Americans are in the middle

of a quiet but powerful confidence

crisis." So, the root problem is a

crisis of confidence. 66% believe

confidence is declining nationwide,

driven largely by comparison and the

constant pressure to improve. Even more

striking, 62% of people report feeling

not enough.

70% say they frequently battle a harsh

inner critic. That little voice inside

that says you suck.

In other words, this crisis of

confidence doesn't come from doing too

little. It comes from doing too much

without space to integrate, reflect, or

recover. The brain needs recovery cycles

to build belief. That's true.

Just like muscles during rest,

confidence grows during pauses, not

continuous reinvention. Okay. So, here's

here's what she says though that and

then we're going to get somewhere.

Instead of inspiring growth, the new

year, new year, new you, new year, new

you narrative, it reinforces a painful

belief that who you are right now isn't

enough. And that belief doesn't motivate

us. It exhausts us. I can say amen to

that. Here's the problem, though. And

here's She says, "Here's the truth." I

would say this is not the truth. She

says, "Choosing to make a resolution can

be an act of confidence. It's a

declaration of selfrust." So she goes,

"Choosing not to make a New Year's

resolution. That's how you boost your

confidence." And then she goes, "This is

what you need to say. I am already

worthy today, not someday."

And that also sounds great. Here's the

problem. What happens when you look

yourself in the mirror and you realize

like, "I'm flawed.

I've screwed up. I've got some real

regrets in my life.

And I have to just say, I'm worthy

today.

What about the pain? What about the

shame? What about the regret of the

stuff that I've done or haven't done

with my life? What do I do with that?

How many of us are are are

sitting with those feelings as we start

the new year? Or is that just me? I'm

sorry. Is that just me? Or

and I'm just going to have a confidence

booster by telling myself I'm worthy.

It doesn't work.

It hits the craving. We want to be

worthy.

It has no solution by just telling

yourself you're worthy.

The gospel says you're not.

And then it gives you good news. The

world says you are. And then it tries to

pretend that's good news when you're

not.

It even goes on and it tries to to give

you this this truth meter. If you catch

yourself thinking, I've set resolutions

or I'm falling behind. Just pause and

ask. And what she tries to do is noble

and right. She's trying to replace lies

with truth. She goes, "Is this thought

true?" Good. She goes, "Is then she

goes, "Is this thought serving me?" I

hate that phrase so much. I've mentioned

that before, right? If we ask how does

this serve me? I'm like h that is

literally like the worst human question.

Is this serving me? Is this thought

serving me? Is this diet serving me? Is

this school? Is this church serving me

right now? I don't You will never win if

you walk around life asking you does

this serve me?

It's what am I going to give my life to?

What will I lay my life down for? Does

this marriage serve me?

Your marriage will never last if you're

asking the question, "Does this marriage

serve me?" You're supposed to go and die

for this other person because you do not

consider your life

above theirs.

And the gospel says, "I lay down my life

for you,

not what does what serves me." I hate

that question so much. I hear it

constantly. No beef with this. Whoever

wrote this article, I just it's a cult.

She's trying to resonate with culture

and it's like people are asking this

question constantly. Does this serve me?

I hate it so much. I'm sorry. I'm

annoyed. I need to get it out.

And then she asked, "What's a more

empowering thought I can choose right

now?" And I think that's a really good

question, but this is how she ends the

article. This year, you don't need a new

you. You need a truer you. Like, what

the what does that even mean?

She has all the right research. She has

the right ache, the right human

condition. Wrong solution.

Enough of that.

The the solution that this article, not

just even this doctor, but what what

humanity is trying to do is is telling

us to stop trying. The solution is to

stop trying to believe you're already

worthy when you're not and to find a

truer you. And it sounds freeing until

you realize how much weight that that

puts on your back.

When I have to convince myself that I'm

enough,

Listen, if I have to convince myself

that I'm enough, I'm the savior of my

own soul.

And who wants to be their own savior

today?

That's not good news. Good news is you

don't have to be your own savior. Good

news is you can feel broken, guilty,

shameful, full of regret.

And he has a future for you, a hope for

you, an identity for you, a new you for

you. You do need a new you. He died for

the new you.

New creation, old self done, new self

on. Now, it doesn't matter if you've

been a Christian your whole life or this

is new to you. The way of Jesus says he

has died so that the old you can be

buried and new you can be raised. and

and you constantly get to walk in a life

where you follow him as your example.

The standard of the new you is him, not

yourself, not some truer you, not some

version of yourself. And the simple why

that you need to go after is following

him with your whole heart and making all

these distractions be put in their

proper place. Here's what I did though

in my process. I had a list of questions

I was going through. I was I was tempted

to give you all these questions and and

then I I didn't. But I I had like an

annual reflection questionnaire sheet

that I was trying to go through in my

journal when I when I did that

lifealtering

almost herniating disease rampant

exercise yesterday and I was doing like

several things. I was I was looking

back. I was looking in. I was looking

ahead. I had a whole organized beautiful

reflection chart that I was going

through. And I I was going to ask

questions like where did I feel

stretched and exhausted in my year.

Where did I feel fear and striving? And

I started with like going back to the

beginning of the year and you know

waking up after the fires and going

through this whole thing and blah blah

blah blah blah. And I was kind of doing

surface level stuff until I I realized

that all I really needed to ask is where

did I genuinely sense God's presence

this past year? I start processing with

the Lord. Where did I sense God's

presence in the past year? And I just

started talking with him and praying and

processing. And I I couldn't get past

that question. I had a lot of other good

questions,

you know, what relationships needed to

be renewed, what habits or rhythms I I

wanted to heal or reorient. Uh what is a

desire I want to bring honestly before

the Lord this year? I I wanted to get to

those things. I just couldn't get past

the first question. And and in that,

here's here's here's what I did. I I

realize that

my biggest internal wrestle and I just

want to I just want you to sit here for

a moment. What's your biggest internal

wrestle if you're honest? Like that new

year ache for you. What is it? Mine is

something in the realm of I feel like

I'm missing it. Feel like I'm missing

it. Now I'm not I'm I'm getting better.

I don't sit in the darkness constantly,

but if I'm if I'm honest, I still have

this ache. And it starts from good

things and good desires. like my kids

growing up too fast and I'm missing it.

Missing moments. I do stuff with them

constantly. I take pictures of it. I sit

with them. I take them in and plan

special moments and I still no matter

what I do, I feel like I'm missing out.

Time is going too fast and I could have

done better. It's like it's never

enough.

And I can live with a subtle or overt

regret just about my parenting alone.

Not just for the kids that are doing

poorly versus the ones that are doing

amazing. It's like that can all get

swirly and wrapped up in any given

moment. Here's the other thing. Fear of

missing it. As a leader, as a pastor,

wherever you you find yourself, where do

you feel like you might be missing it?

Or what is the the new year ache in your

life?

I realize that at at the heart of it,

even for me, what there is a crisis of

confidence. I feel like I'm missing it.

I'm not confident that I am hitting the

mark my life, what I'm supposed to be

doing.

Distracted.

Let me give you a moment where I was

pulling a muscle.

I go, I this is scattered thoughts,

okay? Not my whole journal. So, if you

don't like this paragraph, it was better

in other parts. I said when when I think

of my children, I I weep when I think of

my children growing in the memories

made, but I have been so distracted at

times. Not completely. I was honest. I I

make huge sacrifices and intentional

actions towards them all the time. I get

discouraged. There's these like programs

I'm doing with my son. It feels like

with my sons and it's like I I have c

certain things that are going well with

it, other things that like just aren't

going as well as I hope that they would

go with it. I get discouraged when those

don't work out or the experiences aren't

as amazing as I thought they'd be. and

and I'm too tired to push through some

of those opportunities a and uh you know

should I just be waking getting them up

earlier or doing it later at night or is

it a sleep deprivation issue and blah

blah blah he's sitting I'm swirly swirly

swirly

I only get one shot at this and then

it's over I'm getting in a dark dark

place thinking about all this in my

journal guys okay

and then I realized none of this is

terribly and bad and I and I I sat there

and and I started feeling convicted that

I was feeling. So, so whatever I was

feeling, I I realized that I've probably

This is not brag. It's going to sound

like that. This is not bragging. I've

probably made more good decisions in my

life than 99.9% of the world's

population.

I I'm not bragging about that because

it's it's kind of embarrassing. I'm I'm

sitting here like regretting

and I've probably made 99.9%

of all decisions better than most human

beings. I mean that by like start with

Jesus, you're in the top whatever

percent.

Married a perfect wife, top 0001%.

But but down down the line, the

decisions we made, sacrifices we've

made, friendships, all of the above. I

just made a lot I've made a lot of good

decisions. I don't mean the brat.

And I live with regret. Why?

You cannot decision your way into a

satisfied life deprived of regret.

You are fallen.

You are weak. And you are vulnerable.

And no new diet, no new 4 a.m. wakeup

call, no vitamin supplement plan is

going to fix that.

I started

I started getting envious people that

had made more bad decisions.

I started with the Apostle Paul. That

guy made a lot of bad decisions,

murdered a lot of people.

And you know what he had?

He was confident in the gospel.

Some of you that have made the worst

worst regrets and terrible decisions in

life live with more peace than some of

you that have made mostly great

decisions with your life. Because those

of us that have made a lot of good

decisions, we live with the false

god

that our decisions can save us. that our

lifestyles, that our ability to be

successful, our performance might

actually be the solution. Those that

know that they've screwed up tend to

understand this better.

So, I just I just want to bring before

we get into the scripture,

I just want to bring to your attention,

you're one of two people. You live with

that constant awareness of how you have

absolutely fallen and that the gospel of

Jesus has lifted you up and you live

with a constant conviction of that. Or

or like me, you want that gospel to be

true. You've said yes to it. But if

you're honest, you've lived with this

false king. That false king being if I

could just make better decisions, grow

as a leader, dominate in this area of my

life, self-improvement, self-help,

self-reflection is going to make me

fulfilled. It's going to hit the ache in

my soul.

And that's a false gospel. So,

what's your regret?

As I was going through and

processing with the Lord, he just

dropped a simple scripture

that we're going to go to right now.

Feed my sheep, Christian.

And so I went to John 21, Jesus and

Peter. Let's read it together.

John 21:15.

John 21:15

What had happened was Peter has denied

Jesus three times.

And so Jesus um did this thing called

the resurrection, rose from the dead,

and Peter didn't know what to do with

that and was still depressed and he went

back to fishing. Let me let me I don't

think some of you realize this, okay?

The man who had become the first pope

finds out that Jesus rose from the dead

and he goes fishing depressed,

full of regret and shame because he

denied Jesus three times. Why did he do

that?

Jesus rose from the dead and Peter goes

fishing because he had lost all his

self-confidence.

This is the man that said, "I will never

deny you

ever." And then he did.

And then Jesus rose from the dead and he

still had nothing. Why? Because his God

was still himself

and what he could accomplish in his own

efforts. He had no confidence in who he

was. And this is how Jesus restores him.

Verse 15, they finished breakfast. Jesus

says to Simon Peter,"Simon, son of John,

do you love me more than these?" He said

to him, "Yes, Lord. You know that I love

you. I know I've preached this probably

twice in the last year, but you're just

going to have to forgive me. We're doing

it again."

"Lord, I know that that I love you. You

know that I love you." He said to him,

"Feed my lambs. Feed my sheep." A second

time, Simon, son of John, do you love

me? He said, 'Yes, Lord. know that I

love you. He said, "Tend my sheep."

Verse 17, he said to him a third time,

"Simon, son of John, do you love me?"

Peter was grieved because he said to him

the third time, "Do you love me?" Now,

there's there's more to it. I've

preached it in other sermons. There's

this difference. We only have one term

for love. Um, they had a couple, well,

they had several different terms. The

the pho kind of love is one kind of love

and the agape love is another kind of

love. Jesus is asking him if he agape

loves him deeply. And he's basically

saying, "You know that I pho love you."

So he's not able to offer the Lord the

kind of love that Jesus is inviting him

into.

So it's he's almost like acknowledging I

can't love you like that. I can love you

like this.

And Jesus receives his imperfect love

after the third time. And Jesus says

truly truly verse 18 I say to you when

you were young you used to dress

yourself and walk wherever you wanted.

But when you are old, you will stretch

out your hands and another will dress

you and carry you where you do not want

to go.

This he said to show by what kind of

death he was to glorify God. And after

saying this, he said to him, follow me.

He's giving Peter the best news Peter

could ever have, and that's Peter,

you're going to finish well. You're

going to die for me. Because Peter

wondered, would I am I am I able to die

for him? Am I able to lay my life down?

Am I able am I able to live with the

question, what am I serving instead of

what serves me? And Peter Peter didn't

believe he could actually live for

Jesus. He didn't have any confidence in

who he was as a man. And Jesus said,

he wasn't cursing him by like, "Hey,

you're going to die. It's going to be

terrible." He's saying, "Peter, you have

what it takes.

You will go where others don't go.

You're going to glorify God with your

life.

Follow me.

Which is the same invitation the

relationship started. Your why, your

invitation from Jesus isn't going to be

any different in year 50 of following

him than in day one.

And if you're looking for a new why and

a new invitation from Jesus, you're

looking and listening for the wrong

words. You need to re-encounter the same

words of Jesus.

And I coven it to you as long as I'm

here. We will go after this year after

year after year. What does it look like

in a culture of absolute distraction and

chaos? What does it look like to follow

Jesus together? what we're doing as a

church is completely flawed and

imperfect, but it's the only only thing

that our lives should be anchored on

together is how do we follow Jesus

in the midst of all the questions in the

midst of all the how how do I deal with

the ache in my soul? You will only deal

with the ache in your soul when you

reengage how to follow him and what he

says over your life.

So, I had some questions and I just want

to give them to you. So, what does this

feed my sheep really mean? Is it is it

feeding his soul? Does it mean he's

supposed to go back to ministry? Now,

what is he getting at? Is is it is it

about the fact that he's just telling

him, "Your past doesn't qualify you,

Peter. Your future does." So, go back

and feed the sheep and get back to doing

ministry. Because that's as a pastor,

there's a little bit of me thinking that

when I hear that is like I just need to

suck it up. I I feel like I I want to go

fishing. I start sometimes, here's what

I do when I'm when I'm struggling is I

go, maybe, you know, the church would be

better off with somebody else leading it

and I should just go off and do

something. I had this thought uh not

necessarily this this week, but I have

this thought every now and then that

it's like I I could do I'd be a better

father sometimes if I wasn't so

distracted with how to be a better

pastor, right? And if I could just

remove one responsibility and focus on

the other, I'd be really good at that

one responsibility. Why? We we think we

want responsibility, but the human

condition is, "How do I get the most

things to serve me with the least amount

of responsibility?"

And what do I tell my sons?

Every question you make as a man is,

"How much responsibility can I take on

for other people?

And then my temptation is how do I

eliminate responsibility that I feel

like I'm failing in? And then the gospel

says you can't possibly fulfill the

responsibility that he wants to invest

into you.

And so and so the walking with Jesus

requires dependence on him because you

cannot possibly step into the calling on

your life to follow him and to take the

responsibility he wants to give you in

your own strength with your own gods.

It's not possible.

And how do you know you're wrestling and

struggling? You know you're wrestling

and struggling when you're trying to

fulfill your regret with something other

than the gospel. something other than

Jesus is meeting you in your regret or

you're trying to numb it with something

else.

He'll set you free when you give him

that regret

and you surrender and say, "I can't deal

with this.

I'm always going to have regret

and I know that you'll use it and I know

that you see me and I know that despite

this, you trust me." And that's what

Jesus did with Peter right here.

It's not feed your soul or get back to

ministry. That's not what he's saying.

He's saying your soul will only be

restored as you receive my love and then

live again inside that call to follow

him. This time without any other

illusion of what that looks like, of

your own strength,

of your own idea that never forsake him

like Peter thought. He's like, I'll just

be so committed. Well, you're gonna fall

down, Peter. You're going to screw up.

You can't even deny me. You can't even

resist denying me in front of a little

girl by a fire on the night I was

betrayed.

And now that he rose from the dead, he's

still riddled with guilt and shame.

Because he's sitting there going,

"What kind of man am I?" So, I I want to

go through five things, then we'll be

done. Peter's confidence collaps.

And I want you to find your confidence

collapsing in his story so that we can

reanchor ourselves in the ultimate

story. There's three layers of soul

damage that are present here that are

fracturing Peter and that I know

fracture me. Moral collapse, identity

collapse, and vocational collapse.

What's the moral collapse? He did what

he swore he would never do. How many of

us, if we're honest, are doing the exact

same thing? I don't mean like, you know,

if you cheated on your wife and you

swore you never did. That's terrible.

Horrible.

But I don't even mean that. I mean just

like like I I'm riddled with like I

swear I would, you know, never miss a

quiet time or I'd get up at 5:00 a.m.

every day or what whatever your little

things are and you're like I didn't do

that. I'm terrible

and I could have I'm just lazy

or I should have given here. I could

have helped that kid.

[snorts]

I often go back to a professor. There's

a story Dr. Alan Ingram when I was in

college. I felt the Holy Spirit just

like I had a connection with him. This

British guy that was a sociology

professor had a great connection with

him. Only A+ I ever received was his

class. He was an atheist. I was

definitely not. and uh

he committed suicide my senior year and

I had specific things that the Lord had

highlighted like fun things that I

wanted to like exchange and like follow

up and hang out with him and I just like

didn't do it. I put it off and he's dead

and I could be riddled with guilt and

shame.

And the Lord, he he brings me back and

he goes,

"That's not on you.

But you need to know that I am

constantly pursuing people through other

people

and you will never be able to live under

the weight of the guilt and the shame on

your life. You are so imperfect,

Christian.

The whole point of the gospel is I don't

hold any of it against you. You are

free.

How many of you need to hear that today?

He's pursuing you and he's pursuing

other people through you. And you are

never going to do it perfectly ever.

You're going to have regret. You're

going to have things you wish you did

better. You're going to have a moral

collapse. What will you do like Peter

when you do the things you swore you

would never do? Secondly, your identity

collapse. Peter, like I said, he thought

he was a different kind of man.

And Peter realized he wasn't.

Now, who are you as a man or woman? And

if you're honest, it's like you thought

you would be a different kind of you're

at a stage of life. I just thought

things would be a little bit different

or a little bit better.

Maybe it's a vocational collapse. If I'm

not that, can I still be this? You know,

Peter Peter's sitting there going, if

I'm not that man that I promised Jesus I

would be, I just might as well be a

fisherman like my dad or like whoever.

He can't possibly see himself as a

shepherd. And Jesus kept going. Jesus

keeps saying to him, "Feed my sheep."

meaning.

Stop fishing.

Fishing's not a sin. Your job's probably

not a sin.

Depending on what you do online, I don't

know.

Bad. Not in the notes. Fishing is not a

sin. Fishing is is retreating from your

identity. That's what Peter is doing. He

is running away from who he is. It's

identity retreat. He's not saying, "I'm

done with Jesus." He's saying, "I don't

know who I am anymore." So many of us in

the room, we're not running away from

Jesus where if we're just being honest,

we just don't know who we are anymore.

That's a crisis of the soul. It's a

confidence collapse.

And here's the second question I come

with. Why Why does Jesus not say,

"Peter, tend to your own heart?"

Why does he not like walk him through

this like self-re and and shame looping

and replaying his failures and measuring

himself against like past things and all

of that? He says to him, "Peter,

take time and heal." Right? No.

What if Jesus would have said, "Peter,

just take some time and heal."

And by the way, I'm going to say some

things because this is the storyline of

scripture. If you need to take time and

heal from something, I I'm not saying

not to do that.

I'm just saying that many of us get

locked in this mindset that every single

one of the things that we need to pursue

is just going to be this long, decadesl

long process of taking time to heal.

And the way that Jesus heals him is by

freeing Peter from his self-p

preoccupation.

He restores his place in the story, not

by ignoring the failure, but he he says,

"Feed my lambs, tend my sheep."

What's he saying all at once? He's

saying, "Your past, Peter, doesn't

qualify you. Your love does not need to

be perfect.

You don't need to postpone your calling,

Peter.

It's basically saying, "You can't do

anything apart from me. You can't even

say that you're following me apart from

me. And your dependence on me is now an

asset, not a liability." Peter,

your dependence, your brokenness, your

brokenness, your failures, your regret

turned into dependence on Jesus

is not a liability.

It's your ultimate asset.

How about we become a church that stops

shaming ourselves in this cycle of

preoccupation with our own liabilities

when Jesus is telling you this is the

key to stepping in to my assets and

being my people is when you know that

your brokenness is what forces you to be

dependent on me. It's an asset, not a

liability. How many of you need to

repent from that like I did?

You're looking at your looking at your

life like it's a bunch of liabilities.

And Jesus is saying,

"Would you just look for a second at

yourself with my eyes

through the lens of the blood of the

gospel that I paid for

my flesh and blood? Would you get up,

put those nets down, and feed my sheep?

Stop the inward spiral. Look outward,

Peter.

The key to your self-confidence collapse

is not more inward naval gazing.

It's looking up, looking out,

re-anchoring on the mission.

His soul is healed. A deep soul healing.

And he's forgiven without minimizing the

pain and the loss. and the brokenness

and the failure.

He's reinstated without any probation.

That was amazing. And sit on the

sidelines.

No. Now. And he's trusted without

pretending

that anything isn't as it really is.

And here's what I want to land on.

What does feed my sheep really mean? It

means stop retreating into what you can

control.

step back into the call that you've been

given.

No illusions, without any certainty. And

now Peter being tested in this weakness

is able to be completely qualified

without any of the things that should

disqualify him. Meaning what? Your

dependence on me is now the very thing

that makes you fit to feed my sheep.

This is vocational

soul care and healing at its finest.

It's for you. It's for me. It's for year

one of your faith. It's for year 50.

So, here's how we want to land.

Peter is turned inward in shame.

If he had any more introspection, he

would be in prison maybe forever of his

own mind and his own soul. Jesus frees

him by giving him a rightly ordered call

on his life again.

Your soul will only be restored as you

receive my love and live again inside

that calling.

That's the gospel.

It's not fix yourself, prove yourself,

or understand yourself.

It's walk with me again. Follow me,

simple,

freeing,

deep.

This isn't just Peter. It's you and me.

Some of us are tempted right now. You're

starting a year and you're tempted to go

back to fishing.

What does it look like for you to go

back to fishing?

Some of you, we live in LA. It's moving

back to the Midwest.

And for some of you, maybe you're

supposed to move back to the Midwest and

you were following a call and never

called.

Some of you were called here and you're

considering giving up.

But what was the calling for?

And if you've lost a sense of the

calling and it didn't it didn't get

completely engulfed in a following Jesus

call and it wasn't the call to begin

with.

I can get so wrapped up in what I

thought ministry would be looked like.

And the call wasn't for my ministry to

look any way which way I thought it

would look. It was to follow him, to

feed my sheep.

Your circumstances will never dictate

following him and feeding his sheep.

Where are you enslaved to your

circumstances that you think are keeping

you from your call and your purpose?

Where are you sitting here with regret

that is sidelining you? You are so in

your own head of guilt and shame that

you can't look outward at the call he's

already given you. You can't appreciate

the kingdom that he's building. You

can't appreciate the blood that he shed,

the sacrifices that he made, and you're

still wondering what serves you instead

of what serves him.

And you just need to hear him say again,

"Despite your regret, your falling, your

failure, your shame, I trust you. Feed

my sheep."

He trusts you before you trust yourself.

The key to your confidence shackling you

is by allowing Jesus's confidence in you

to lead you instead of your own. Your

own confidence in yourself is always

going to let you down. It's never going

to be enough for where he wants to take

you.

And it's the reason why this man that

doesn't know how to stand up to a little

servant girl and went back to fishing 40

days later can be standing up to the

world's most powerful authorities and

speaking the gospel and thousands upon

thousands give their life to Jesus.

Where can we be in just 40 days

if we take this gospel seriously?

Start your year with that mentality.

Start your year with that invitation.

This is how Jesus restores people. The

big idea today, this is how Jesus

restores people.

He doesn't tell Peter to fix himself or

rebuild his confidence.

He anchors down on love and calling and

invites him to follow again without any

illusion of what that looks like. Our

why at Frontier,

we say renewing the beauty of Jesus on

the frontiers of modern culture. But

what does that mean? What's our why?

Simply put, at our core, Frontier exists

to be a countercultural family

formed by the presence of Jesus on the

frontiers of modern culture.

It's the kind of church that's made up

of people where we're not just

performing confidence, this false

confidence.

We're living from a place of dependence,

believing that that will transform the

people in the culture around us, willing

to take on every challenge, every

frontier, every whatever he puts in

front of us. Why? Because we know who we

are. We're not alone.

And we're constantly inviting him

to form us to make a new us after his

image and not our own.

So we don't exist. We we never will say

we exist so that people can reinvent

themselves.

We exist so that people can be reformed

into the likeness of the son of God.

And so here's here's what I want to

invite us into for just two minutes. the

team can start to come up, but I want

you to anchor in. I shared some of this

in the newsletter, and here's what I

would just want to give you a mindset

for the next 40 days over January and

into February. I want us to to step into

some fresh rhythms. We always talk about

the beginning of the year, vision, and

focus and whatever else. And and we're

going to have a four-week vision series

that I've kind of started today, but

it's essentially going to get after who

is this countercultural family? What

does it look like to go after formation?

And where are we going on the frontiers

of modern society?

This is going to be seven weeks

instead of se a lot of churches I I I

always get like, oh, someone's starting

another beginning of the year fast and

prayer and scripture and all of that.

And it's all great. You should probably

have started one already.

And I probably have a little regret that

my Bible reading plan's already behind.

The two hours of prayer I committed to a

day I've already missed.

and all of a sudden we start the year

with great intentions and more regret.

How about we just fixate back on the

call

and a slow intentional pace of

conviction. That's what we're going to

do for seven weeks.

There's a website I think we'll have it

behind me. Reset 2026.

And all we're doing is we're looking

after practices.

Yes, for the new year. Yes, for our new

home, but for a whole new way of life

that we're constantly going after.

We're going to invite you into things

like fasting from different things. Yes,

fasting is great. Disciplining yourself

and filling yourself with his voice is

significant and important. We're going

to walk into some prayer moments

together. There's going to be some

gatherings that we're going to invite

you to. But this isn't just like a two

week sprint. It's a way of life.

We call we call this a rule of life.

That's the the ancients use that

language that's that's sort of been

reestablished in the modern day in

different different uh in different

streams. But I want to invite you if

you've never analyzed your own rule of

life, we've got a link for that on the

same page. Um that should be behind me.

If it's not, it's on the front page of

our website. And I just want to invite

you into a few simple questions to begin

your year.

What's been shaping the rhythms of your

life?

Where do you feel hurry, distracted, or

just thin spiritually?

What kind of life is it that you really

want if you're [music] being honest? And

what kind of life do you want to be

living a year from now?

And what one small small rhythm could

you begin practicing?

This isn't about trying harder.

It's simply about allowing Jesus

to trust you. You saying yes to that and

following him again.

As we start the year, I'm not going to

ask you to fix yourself again,

just to stop carrying the weight.

This new year, can we just say, I

covenant to stop trying to fix myself,

and I refuse to carry [music] the weight

that's not mine.

I'm not going to reinvent my life this

year. I'm going to let God reform it

again.

and again and again.

Just invite you to just take a moment.

You can close your eyes if you want. Get

in posture of prayer.

And I just want to invite you to stand

with me if there's just an ache in your

soul as you start this new year that you

want to offer to the Lord. If you've got

an ache that you just know is sitting

there that you want the Holy Spirit to

deal with, would you just stand to your

feet with me

just as an act of invitation for him to

meet you?

[snorts]

I want to be really clear.

The invitation today is to not

step back out into the world

with your heaviness, your guilt, and

your shame.

It's to make an exchange today

with the only God

that sees you,

knows [music] every single flaw about

you, and still invites you closer.

Still,

a bigger call than you could ever

imagine. Not by looking inward, by by

looking outward. He wants you. He sees

you.

He qualifies you with his life, not

yours.

Some of us just need to make an exchange

[music] today. Where are you holding on

as your own god?

Where are you trying to remedy things?

Where are you trying to punish yourself

for the things of your past

and you can't appreciate the

resurrection of life?

You're riddled with guilt. You're

riddled with regret. and he wants to

lift up your eyes.

This doesn't need to take 40 years,

just 40 days.

And can you pray with me this ache?

[music] Holy Spirit,

we trust your scriptures.

We trust the history you've made.

We take the testimony of Peter.

Now make it my own.

Make it our own.

40 days

to release the ache.

release a call

to follow you again

with absolute hope

and absolute freedom

in Jesus name.

Amen.

And amen. This team is going to play. I

want you to lift your voices, lift your

eyes, lift your arms, whatever posture

of absolute praise and adoration that

you need in order to fixate on him, not

yourself. To look outward instead of

inward to say, I believe you when I

don't feel it. I'm going to step out of

here. I'm going to take step one today.

And I invite you, Holy Spirit, over this

community over the next 40 days.

Lift us up.

remind us of our why.

We want to follow you aresh despite

ourselves.

We will not live for what serves us, but

what for what serves you. We love you

and bless you in Jesus name. Amen. Would

you respond with this demon? We'll

release you in a few minutes.