VISION SERIES: ”A Vision for a Counter-Cultural Family”

like you know for this weekend finishing

touches that's what 4 am's for you know

so I do feel like this is going to be I

I also knew we had a big Sunday a lot of

announcements things going on we don't

do that every week uh but these are

important things as we start the year uh

it's going to be a brief word today in

Jesus name we're going to be in uh the

book of James but as I as I start that

um I I wanted to start with something uh

a bit of an example maybe controversial

maybe it's because I haven't had enough

time to think through if this is a good

idea. But how many of you like following

um things going on in New York City as

someone that's in Los Angeles? I do. I

love New York City. I love that I don't

have to live there. We live in Chicago

for years before I moved here. And I

always looked at New York when we were

in Chicago is like, "Ah, things are bad,

but they could be worse. We could live

in New York. You know, things are

expensive here. Things are tight. You

know, the you know, just the the grind

of a of a city, but but it could be

worse. It could be New York." Uh and and

then we moved here and uh and the Lord

prepared. I know some of you have moved

places with like lots of space and this

and that. We we moved from Chicago. I

don't know. Has anyone moved here from

Chicago besides Phil and I? You know, a

few. Yeah. Is there like a single thing

like uh better about Chicago other than

it kind of looks pretty like downtown?

Other than

>> the Bears?

Sorry. The Bears. Yeah. their football

team that hasn't won a championship

since I was four. Yeah. Okay. Sorry.

Sports analogies don't work in LA. I

know. So, um here here's the thing. In

in New York, uh we've got a lot of

similarities. New York and LA,

especially if you're in entertainment or

whatever else, there's a lot of things.

[clears throat]

It's an intense city. Uh it's it's it's

one that's always looking forward. Uh

one of the things that I found

interesting of late, and this may or may

not get me in trouble, I I like to talk

and make people nervous. So, um, their

mayor recently, controversial Mandami,

um, he's been in the news a lot and and

I think it's I don't think it's all that

polarizing because there's there's

there's like at least from what I've

read because I'm not like fully

inundated. It's a different city, but

it's like there's left, there's right,

and then there's this whole thing of

going on in New York that at least the

ideas that come into the the interweavs

that I'm like, "Oh, wow. That's that's

interesting." What I what I like to do

though is instead of just like getting

all upset and judgy and angry and just

posting why I hate someone's ideas,

uh, I like to to breathe a little bit

and go, what's what's going on here? He

had a he had a quote in his inaugural

address that I think maybe actually

helps us paint a little bit of the

cultural ache that we're all navigating.

Regardless of how you feel, we should as

a society respond to it. He said this,

Mandami said this in his inaugural

address in New York City. Um, and if you

don't understand, you may have no idea

what I'm talking about. Um, this this uh

this gentleman who has recently become

mayor, I think he's only like 34 years

old. He's got some very extreme ideas.

Uh, I and and here here's his statement,

though. We will replace the frigidity of

rugged individualism with the warmth of

collectivism. That was his mantra.

the fragidity of rugged individualism

with the warmth of collectivism.

And uh you know I know what some of you

are thinking. It's like socialist

communist

dangerous

and yeah that might be true. I don't you

know but here's here's the thing.

Culture immediately responds and there's

and and here's what I want us to get.

Can we get at the tension that's at the

deeper longing? On one hand, we all kind

of know that there's this unchecked

individualism. We actually in the

church, especially here, we we know that

we are a society built America on the

freedoms of of individuals.

And yet we then push against the

extremes when individualism is taken too

far

because unchecked individualism, it it

always leaves us isolated, anxious, and

alone. So we're feeling that cultural

ache. Whether you agree with the

ideology of the solutions, we all have

the same cultural ache. Our extremes of

individualism of this nation of the

modern west are real and we are living

in them. It's why he got elected. By the

way, that should be the question we're

asking is why are so many people in

agreement with with where he wants to

go? Of course, history has taught us

that forced collectivism or whatever you

want to call it is uh something that

often or always crushes freedom,

creativity, and responsibility.

And most Americans, we we breathe that

tension personally because the freedoms

and the rights that our that our

society's valued here has we know that

that's led to massive amounts of

opportunity, innovation, dignity for

millions upon millions upon millions.

And that obviously matters. But even in

the midst of all that, we we still know

if we're honest that there's something

missing. And the church is supposed to

be constantly pushing against the

extremes of how our human nature will

take even something good, a good system,

a good idea, America, and then go to an

extreme that needs to be pushed against.

So here we are. We're finding ourselves.

We're kind of going between two extremes

as a nation. Neither of which actually

delivers the life that we're all longing

for.

What? That should be the question. What

is it that we're longing for that this

debate is coming to terms with? And

that's why we keep recycling the same

debates in some way, shape, or form.

We're haunted by the memory of another

kind of world. That's that's literally

the way we're wired that's aching in our

souls.

And the debate that never goes away is

essentially something like this. How do

we hold

freedom, individual freedom and personal

dignity together with real belonging,

real responsibility, and real community?

How do we do that? Or, you know, if

we're just thinking more simply, how do

we how do we protect the individual

without ending up all miserable,

isolated, and alone? How do we pursue a

kind of community without completely

losing freedom, completely losing

creativity and our own agency? How do we

do that?

Because every culture keeps returning to

this question. And the reason is because

it's not a political question.

It has political outcomes and it's not

an economic question.

It's spiritual.

The Bible says that longing isn't

accidental. It's a homesickness for what

they what the scriptures call the

kingdom of God.

Modern time shows up and we just debate

individualism versus collectivism,

freedom, obligation, autonomy,

belonging,

a shared life versus self-exression,

whatever you want to call it. We're

going after the same ache. And both

sides are reacting to the human need

because we're made we're made for

dignity and responsibility. We're also

made for attachment. We're made to share

life together. And we're made for

family. Now, I get real like

when churches just start using

catchphrases. We're a family. A

businesses say we're a family. Have you

ever like joined a company that we're a

family? Like no, we're not. I signed up

because you paid me more than that

company's going to pay me. And I like

the guy interviewing me more than that

company that interviewed me. We're not a

family.

Anyway, yeah,

I actually recently heard a pastor

talking about how to run a church staff

and he goes, "The last thing you want to

do is call that staff your family."

And I go, "That guy has some church

hurt." And I

I I say all that kind of

light-heartedly.

We are going to go after what does it

look like for us to have a vision of

family? We call this a countercultural

family. The the kingdom of God always

goes after something countercultural. So

don't think catchphrase family. That's

nice. Think more like

everyone values the concept of family,

but it it'll it'll go over our heads

unless you or or we just will just leave

it there unless we realize is this

actually a different kind of way of

doing this thing that we all know we're

aching for. The church exists to be this

kind of bridge to a third way of life.

uh not not one that's going to one

extreme of individualism or an extreme

of collectivism. It's a countercultural

family shaped by a what we call a

biblical wisdom.

The debate never goes away because it's

our attempt to build a world that both

gives us freedom and belonging.

But the issue is are we going to

surrender to a God

who's the only solution to give us both?

We think that they have to fight for

freedom and belonging or we fight for

for an attempt to build this world where

we don't have to surrender this kind of

God. And and the issue is is that we

want to exist. Here's our vision

statement. Frontier exists to be a

countercultural family formed by the

presence of Jesus

for the frontiers for the frontiers of

modern life.

So that we can say we're truly going

after renewing the beauty of Jesus on

those frontiers.

So this countercultural family is the

bedrock of that so that we can together

be formed to take on the frontiers not

alone. And and so that simplifies things

for us. And so today

family formation and frontiers that's

really all we're ever doing.

And what I want us to get at is before

we talk about formation or mission we

have to understand what is it that we're

doing together. And so there's there's a

little bit of the last couple weeks,

we've gone after the ache, the new year

ache, and and and just revisiting in

John 21, Jesus is inviting us to follow

again. Some of us need to start the year

just realizing this. The simplest, most

profound longing of our hearts is for

Jesus to look you in the eye, regardless

of how you're feeling, deflated, achy,

whatever, and say, "Just follow me

again. Let me reinstate you. Let me

rebuild your confidence on me and not

yourself."

Secondly, last week we went at the

relief of being a people that are

adopted that confronts this orphan

spirit we talked about that we feel like

is such a thing in LA, but it's just a

reality of the human condition

regardless of who you are as a family.

We got to go to an amazing birthday

party last night and uh one of the

honors of our life as pastors is to

share life with all of you. And as we

grow, it's one of the hardest things is

that we can't share life to the degree

with every single one of you that we

wish we could. But Sue and I in the

midst of like the busiest moments of

life have kind of like covenanted that

we will never miss certain things that

are just so important because then we

miss sight of why we even do all the

other stuff. And one of the things

that's so humbling is just h you know

last night at the party listening to a

husband share over a wife just the life

transformation

that's only possible because of Jesus

that that brokenness of family and

belonging absolutely restored only

because of the family of God.

This is the kind of realities that we

live in. We're not here telling the

world this is how you set up in an

unbelievable nuclear family

and get married 22 and have

two and a half to five and a half kids

have an amazing job live in a 5,000

square foot Pasadena mansion whatever I

don't know what you think the dream is

here it's like because none of us are

living that life whatever that is and

and it's

It's really the the reality is that

whatever we've made family and and the

dynamic of of society, what we need what

we need is a kind of countercultural

family that regardless of your family,

regardless of how you've ruined it,

regardless of how it's ruined you,

there's something for you here that

gives you hope and points you forward to

something.

So, what's happening in this passage I'm

about to read? James, he is not like my

son says it's like his favorite book of

the Bible. I don't even think he's read

all the Bible, but I think he likes how

James just makes sure you know here's

what you do. We like to say like a lot

in church, especially the last I feel

like the last generation, we we had this

we needed to get rid of religion and see

God as at least like a loving,

kind-hearted father that like lifts you

up in his lap and and lets you call him

daddy God and sing really nice songs

where he's loving on you and this and

that. Um, but I've noticed I've noticed

that some of that which which let's just

let's just say all of it good. All of

it's true. Sometimes we underemphasize

other parts of scripture, other voices

if you will. James is not like a like

James would not be writing the songs

about sweet daddy God on his lap and

stuff like that. James is like uh you

say you follow Jesus. Why aren't you

doing anything about it? That's the

summary of James. Okay, you follow

Jesus. Great. What what what in your

life like remotely shows me that's true?

That's what James is like. I say that so

as I read the next few passages, some of

you that haven't read this before don't

start getting more angry at me. Get

angry at James. Uh here's here's what

James says. He's giving a diagnosis

about whether a community as a whole is

being formed by the world or by God. The

world's wisdom or godly wisdom. That's

the two things happening. So all you're

trying to navigate today is the

diagnosis. Where where is the wisdom

that I crave? Where is it being formed

in me by the world or by God? And he

says this in chapter 3:1 17. But the

wisdom from above is first pure, then

peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full

of mercy and good fruits, impartial and

sincere. And a harvest of righteousness

is sown in peace by those who make

peace. This all sounds very poetic, but

I'll I'll get to the heart of it in a

second. Verse uh chapter 4 begins like

this. What causes quarrels and what

causes fights among you? He's getting

very practical with these people. What

are you fighting about? Is it not this

that your passions are at war within

you? You desire and do not have, so you

murder. He really kind of summates. I

mean, who in there? How many people are

murdering in his local church is what

I'd like to know.

You covet and cannot obtain, so you

fight and quarrel. You do not have

because you do not ask.

You ask and don't receive because you

ask wrongly.

Spend it on your passions.

You adulterous people.

He's very pastoral. You adulterous

people.

He was obviously not a local pastor.

This guy was obviously an itinerant

minister. We call those the people that

jump around and can say the hard things

because they don't have to look you in

the eye, you know, on your living room

table.

You adulterous people, you don't know.

Do you not know that friendship with the

world is is in emnity with God? Let me

just restate that because that's his

main point of the whole passage. Do you

not know that friendship with the world

is enmity with God? That's a big word,

but we'll flush it out. Therefore,

whoever wishes to be a friend of the

world makes himself an enemy of God.

He's basically saying this. You're all

enemies of God because you're friends

with the world. The end. Good news.

Okay. So,

let me just again, James's voice is very

unique in the New Testament. He doesn't

spend much time softening things or

qualifying them at all. Uh he doesn't

ask uh he doesn't ask you to say what

you believe. James sits here and always

asks what you do. Always. Now, what we

know about the the life of following

Jesus is you don't get qualified because

of what you do. In fact, we've had to

really emphasize that if you think that

your salvation or your goodness or your

morality or your significance or your

identity is based on what you do, you've

missed the entire gospel. James doesn't

contradict that in any way, shape, or

form. What he simply does is he turns it

on his head and says that's 100% true.

What you do is not your identity. it

doesn't qualify you. What what you do

though will show me, do you actually

believe any of this stuff to begin with.

So he's not undervaluing works. He's

putting them in its proper place and

he's not wasting time worrying about

your heart in the process. He's letting

someone else in the body do that. He's

not saying it's not important. He's just

saying that's not my job.

So then the big idea

actually first let me connect it to

family. He's basically saying what's

forming you is eventually going to show

up especially in how you treat people

closest to you. That's what he's getting

at. And so how do we connect this to

family? This is where James is very

unique and helpful for a church family

like us because family isn't

theoretical. Family shows up in

conflict, desire, forgiveness, and how

we handle one another. those close

enough to actually irritate you. That's

why community groups are so sacred

because you haven't really done

community if you haven't been like

extremely irritated at the person that

you're supposed to spend every Wednesday

night with.

Right? And when you've seen that

through, when you've like taken any

measure of conflict headon and

continued, those are like the best.

Aren't the best relationships the ones

that you've had conflict and you've

worked through the conflict instead of

run away from it?

You know, aren't some of the the biggest

wounds in your life, the conflict that

you just haven't resolved?

I think some people have some takeaways

for this week, including myself. Okay.

Um, here's our big idea. That's and this

is all we're going after today. If we

say we're going after a countercultural

family, this isn't defined by how close

we feel to family. It's by what is

forming us. So, first and foremost

today, we're we're actually going to go

after something that's not as much

loveydovey feely today. It's much more

about what is it forming you? What have

you put your life towards that's going

to shape you? And what is the proof that

always shows up in how you treat other

people? That's the big idea. So, it's

not about how close we feel, it's about

what forms us. And the proof is always

going to show up in how you treat other

people. So there's going to be three

applications today about what a

counterultural family looks like. And

all I want you to do is remember what

what am I going to do about these three

things and go and practice them. Number

one, a countercultural family, what that

means for us is that we at Frontier, we

will reject rivalry as normal. Rejecting

rivalry is normal. So what does that

look like? J James 3 says 13, who is

wise and understanding among you. So he

isn't he isn't giving them like a test

for their theology. He's he's testing

their formation. Who's wise and

understanding among you. He's he's

basically understanding that that real

wisdom in the world, real wisdom in a

human being is only going to be proven

not by your intelligence or your

insight. It's only going to be shown up

in the way of life that you lead. If you

are wise, it will show up in how you

live your life. If you think of the

wisest person that impacted your life,

you probably aren't thinking about like

like a

chapter's worth of notes that you can

remember, unless you're a freak. You're

thinking of like maybe a phrase, their

presence that impacted you. The way they

looked at you,

you know, the people that can just look

at you and wisdom just like pierces you.

Stop looking at me. Why? They see

through my soul.

First time I felt that was this uh

little old lady in church that gave me

gum every week.

At first, she was just the gum lady. I'd

go to her every week for a piece of gum.

Then, as I got older,

she lured me with gum. And then she she

stuck me with her eyes.

And there was one there was one weekend

at church. I I forget how old I was. It

was somewhere like late teens, getting

getting close to end of high school. and

she just saw right in my soul and she

reminded me she's been praying for me

every day since since I was like three

years old

and she read my mail.

That's wisdom. She didn't test my

theology

and there was trust because there was a

way of life that I saw in her and that

she saw in me. So

James goes on to say what wisdom

produces verse 14 to 16. If you harbor

bitter envy and selfish ambition in your

hearts,

you will find disorder in every kind of

evil practice. So notice what James is

not saying right here. He doesn't say

some people are just competitive.

That's all it is. Some people are just

you have a personality clash. That's

that's the issue. Just sometimes you do

maybe need to try a new group. Sometimes

if you've hopped to several groups

because your personality keeps clashing,

maybe it's you.

Sometimes you need to stick it out.

Sometimes you need to try something new.

Sometimes it's you. Anyway, just just

throwing it out there.

Or this is just how groups work. They're

miserable. That's not it either.

He treats rivalry as a wisdom problem.

Have you ever I've actually never

thought of it till this passage that

that rivalry is a wisdom problem.

It's a sign of what's forming you as a

community and as a person. So just to

give it a little example, um

a lot of you go on auditions or at least

if you don't go on auditions, you have

to get a job at some point. Um weigh

that up to a family dinner table and

think about the difference between an

audition and your family dinner table.

Um, at an audition you for the most

part, at least in this town, it feels

like everybody's talented and more

talented than you. Everyone's polite to

your face, not behind your back, but to

your face they are. And they certainly

look impressive from the forefront,

right? But everyone's also watching

everybody else. You go into an audition,

you're weighing everybody up. And uh,

and it's because only, you know, only a

few are going to advance. Someone else's

success is going to, you know, cost you

your place.

So, you can't really truly relax, you

know, unless you're one of the very few.

And then the reality is that uh, you

know, you're never going to celebrate

too freely if the audition went great

because it's like, well, that was the

best audition of my life, but my eyes

are the wrong color. You know, whatever

it is, like you don't even know what

they're looking for because I didn't

tell you. It's not in your control.

And what's happening here is is uh it's

really easy to see the comparison or to

even see the intimidation. You go to an

job interview. Rivalry is essentially

the absolute normal thing because your

worth is being measured.

Do I have more worth to this company, to

this movie, to this whatever than the

next person? My worth is being measured.

And James would say that's exactly how

worldly wisdom forms a community just

like that. He goes, "But the wisdom that

comes from heaven,"

thankfully there's hope. He does give

hope. He's not pastoral, but he does

give you hope. James says, "But the

wisdom that comes from heaven is first

of all pure, then peaceloving,

considerate, submissive, full of mercy,

good fruit, impartial, and sincere."

That's the kind of wisdom that doesn't

create competition. It creates peace.

Why? Because in God's wisdom, worth is

not something that you earn. It's you.

You can only receive that kind of

wisdom. And James gets that. He's not

calling us to be less driven, but less

threatened.

Most of us are so threatened by other

people. We have to be a people that

aren't threatened. That comes from your

identity. That comes from your worth

being secure.

And you're never going to do it

perfectly. But when you are imperfectly

trying to work this out, what are you

going to land back on to give you a

backbone? That's what he's trying to

give you is a backbone of worth that

will sustain you when you feel

threatened.

So at a family table, someone else's

success, what does it not do? It doesn't

threaten you or it shouldn't.

That's the biggest issue between like

brothers Kane and Abel, they were

threatened. And that's the last thing

that should happen at a family table.

When someone so when someone else can

succeed and not threaten you, you have

started to understand family

and you should first hopefully you saw

it through a mom and dad that weren't

threatened by your own success. Some of

you probably tasted that that maybe one

of your parents are threatened by your

own success. That wasn't the heart of

God. And that's why we have to be

adopted because your family will never

do it perfectly. You'll never do it

perfectly. Your siblings will never do

it perfectly. But what it's meant to be

is give us a vision of what we're moving

towards. It's not like, "Oh, I'm screwed

because my family didn't do this

perfectly." It's he's giving you hope

that what we're trying, what is deeply

forming us more than anything else. Your

family of origin, yes,

but regardless of where you're coming

from, he's saying you've been adopted

into a family where regardless of that,

you don't have to feel threatened and

you don't have to live from rivalry.

He's saying worldly wisdom turns

community into an audition.

Heavenly wisdom will always turn

community into family. That's what he's

saying. Are you going to live from the

heaven heaven's wisdom or the worlds?

And in false families, networks,

platforms, performance-based communities

of any kind. Many of us are in kind of

faux communities that are fun for a

moment, but they're still

performance-based. You got there because

of your gift or your work or your look

or whatever. They're not real

communities. The rivalry is normal

because it's always based on your worth

and how you're measured.

And that's why we have to push towards

leaning into what this kingdom god

forming countercultural family looks

like. Because in God's family, worth is

always received. And when worth is

received, rivalry always loses its

power. And we have to be a people that

are going after the power structures.

Not like the world. World is now

currently obsessed with power and who

has the power. We have to be showing

them this underworking spiritual dynamic

that is at the root of every debate on

power.

Worth is received.

Then rivalry can lose its power.

If you want to have something to say

when the debate on the world's power is

raging, deal with the rivalry of your

own soul.

All right, that was point one. Now point

two in the last three minutes and three.

Point two and three and three minutes.

Here we go. The second point is we

practice peace instead of avoidance.

This is hard,

but it's worth it. He doesn't describe

what wisdom is, James. He he describes

what it does in community. Peacemakers

who sew in peace raise a harvest of

righteousness. Verse 18. Peace is not a

personality trait. It's not something

people are naturally good at. You have

to practice it. Thank God.

This is something you don't have to be

good at. It's something you just have to

practice.

Then in verse one of chapter 4, he says,

"What causes fights and quarrels?

Don't they come from your desires to

battle within you?" So he's framing this

as conflict isn't blamed on difficult

people. I wish it was.

It's not explained away because of your

chemistry issues.

It's it's traced back to your avoidance

and unmet desires. He's exposing the

cost of not dealing with things early,

humbly, and honestly. That's what he's

doing. So, uh, an example, we we have,

uh, the strongest smoke alarms I've ever

seen in my ever loving life in this new

place we moved into. If I if I basically

if I cook with olive oil, you know, low

smoke point, we're upset. You guys watch

YouTube videos on cooking as much as I

do, like a freak. I I there's this like

smoke points of oils, and I only like

olive oil, so I just make it smoky

anyway. And I have I have mastered the

art of smoking out my pan with olive oil

because I also like stainless steel

because I'm not a and I don't cook

with No, I'm just kidding.

Stainless steel is amazing, guys. You

can cook your eggs on it if you can wait

two minutes for it to get hot. I'm just

just saying. Patience. If you need an

act a a spiritual practice, try just

using a stainless steel pan to fry your

eggs. If you can't wait two minutes for

your pan to get hot, you don't have a

life. Okay.

Anyway,

my son, I love my son. I love that he

loves to cook. I hate it when he cooks

though

because he's my disciple and he messes

up a lot and I don't have the patience

of Jesus and he sets the smoke smoke

alarm off more than anyone else I've

ever met in my life. It's not all his

fault though because we have a very

sensitive smoke alarm. The I just want

to put it put this in your brain though.

There's there's this there's this

concept of of of a smoke alarm and a

fire extinguisher. And and I want you to

think about the difference of them. A

smoke alarm tells you something's wrong.

It's loud. It's uncomfortable. But

ultimately, thank God for it. It's a

gift, right? Because a fire extinguisher

ultimately requires you to step towards

the problem because it's like really,

really serious. You don't wait for the

fire to grow ever because that would be

dumb. You don't pretend that you don't

smell smoke. You always have to do

something about it. you act

as early as possible, as deliberately as

possible. And it can be awkward, but

what here's here's the metaphor. Here's

the whole point because I have to hurry.

James is saying worldly wisdom, it it

ignores the smoke.

It it tells us

it's it's not worth the conversation.

Just give it some time. You know, time

is such a beautiful thing, right? Let's

give them time. Let's give that deep

wound in my heart. I'm sure if I just

give it some time, it'll feel better in

a decade. I

maybe if I just pull back a little bit.

Let's pull back.

I won't engage in that committed

community like I need to because of

whatever.

And what he's saying is is that we we've

all experienced this to some way in some

way. And and avoidance will never create

peace. It just gives conflict time to

grow always. And he doesn't praise peace

lovers. He p he he he only is praising

the peacemakers. You can't make peace

without a conflict.

And then he's naming false families like

this concept. I think this is a great

concept. What are the false families

that we operate in? In false families,

we all do this. Peace is maintained by

silence.

People then you know disappear instead

of being repaired.

You you end up having distance

instead of being honest and then you

eventually

the family, the room, the whatever grows

cold.

Maybe no one explodes but no one's close

anymore. And that's worldly wisdom.

That's what he calls worldly wisdom.

Amazing

biblical family. We practice peace. We

speak it sooner. We forgive faster.

And when it's uncomfortable, we stay and

we lean in.

Definitely not because we love conflict.

Hate conflict.

It's because we love people more than

comfort.

That's why we stay. Because we were

loved when it was uncomfortable.

Because the whole rootedness of our

entire worth and identity and what with

the family we've been adopted into was

established by the opposite of comfort.

And what James calls this kind of

wisdom, peaceloving, considerate,

submissive, full of mercy because we

love people more than comfort. And at

Frontier, we're going after a

countercultural family that doesn't

avoid tension. It learns how to walk

through it with grace. Not perfection.

It's grace. We So, what does that mean?

Let's just use a Gen Z word. It means we

should stop ghosting people.

It means you you you don't just quietly

pull away instead of leaning in. It

means you don't let small things become

deep things.

We practice peace because we belong to

one another.

Now final thing team come up so that I

can land point three and

close this out efficiently. Point three

is we're formed by a shared alliance or

allegiance

not preferences. We love our

preferences.

But can we be a people that are formed

by our allegiance?

After walking us through the wisdom and

rivalry and conflict, James is

ultimately saying, "You adulterous

people,

don't you know that friendship with the

world is enmity with God?" What is he

saying? He's not trying to be dramatic,

though he is. He's being incredibly

precise and he's he's taking this

ancient word of friendship. It meant

[snorts] in the time shared loyalty.

That's what he meant by what he means by

friendship, shared loyalty, shared

loves, and shared vision. And so he's

saying you can't build a community on

two competing allegiances.

Two competing allegiances. And so we

just celebrated a year since the fires.

What

a year. One of the things I learned

early on was uh foundations. You had to

rip them. If they looked immaculate,

they were still no good. You had to rip

them up completely. Right. Right. Those

of you that had to do your found Matt,

could you use your foundation at all?

No. Any of it, even though it looked

amazing. No.

So, it looks fine.

Um, and it's not because the builders

didn't want to try hard enough, but many

you what what you need to understand is

you can't pour new life on top of a

compromised foundation. That's that's

the thing I want I want us to to get.

Even if some parts look okay

and even if it feels wasteful. I'm sure

you had a lot of things like that, like,

"Oh, this feels like such a waste. This

[music] feels so stupid. It looks like

it could be whatever." But a contractor

will tell you, you can't reinforce what

was never meant to hold this kind of

weight

and what it was meant to hold is no

longer there.

You can't build two two foundations at

once. That's for sure. And here's here's

the thing I want us to land on. James is

saying to us spiritually, communities

fracture not because people don't care,

[music] but because they're trying to

live with two foundations. One foot in

the wisdom of heaven and the other in

the wisdom of the world. What kind of

wisdom will you build the foundation of

your life on? [music] The world says

protect yourself

or advance yourself.

Show people the best [music] possible

image of yourself. Curate it. Pritify

it.

That's your [music] identity. That's

your worth. Keep your options open.

The wisdom of God and the way of Jesus

says something very different. A

countercultural family that starts with

Jesus simply saying to each of us again,

"Will you trust me? Will you lay your

life down like I laid it down for you?

Will you stay when it's hard?

Will you belong to these other people

like you belong to [music] me, not

because they deserve it?

Will you let rivalry and competition be

completely severed from your life?

When our preferences shift,

the foundations of our soul crack.

James is ultimately saying, [music]

if we are friends with the world,

you've got to look at this seriously.

Not because the world is evil, but

because the world cannot sustain a

people like what Jesus is inviting us

into. And what he wants is he wants us

to have a shared confession,

declaration,

fixation on [music] one thing.

Jesus is Lord, God is father, [music]

and we belong to one another. Would you

stand? And I want us to to take a

moment, close our eyes, and ask the Holy

Spirit to guide us [snorts]

as we stand. And Holy Spirit, would you

just calm every soul as we spend a

moment or two just

asking you to speak to each of us so

that you could form us as a community

and as a family?

What I want us to [music] ask today is,

can we name the rivalry and where it's

shown up in our lives?

Can we step into this? Where have I been

comparing instead of celebrating?

[music] Holy Spirit, would you just

touch my heart in just one profound but

simple practical way? Where have I been

comparing instead [music] of celebrating

whose success has felt threatening to

me?

And how can I thank God for one other

person's success this week?

Move in us and show us where this

rivalry has crippled us and crippled

this family.

Secondly, we just ask that you would

[music] help us take one step towards

peace this week. God,

what conversations have we been

avoiding? What relationships have we

been pulling back from?

You're not asking [music] us to to to

resolve every last thing in a moment.

You're simply asking us to take one step

towards peace.

I just pray Holy Spirit you would

remember us that peace is something

[music] we practice. It's not something

to be perfected. Let us step into this

and [music] trust

and practice it together. Finally,

would you clarify our [music] allegiance

to the lordship of Jesus?

We give you our preferences. Where am I

trying to live with a divided [music]

foundation?

What wisdom has been shaping? It's the

way I'm reacting to the people around

me.

Jesus, we we choose your wisdom today

over the world's wisdom. And you we ask

you to completely [music] transform us

and what you're building in us.

Holy Spirit, come break rivalry.

affirm our allegiance.

As we respond, I just want us to

remember we're never going to become a

countercultural family

by an accident. It'll come by an

intentional practice of time and [music]

time again choosing again and again and

again to be formed by heaven's wisdom

and not the world.

As we go today,

don't overwhelm us because that's not

who you are.

Surprise [music] us by the simple ways

you want to transform us.

I pray that this would be a

countercultural family, not because of

perfected families, but because of an

absolute [music] surrender to practicing

peace in a world of chaos. We love you

and honor you in Jesus name. [music]

Amen. Amen.