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Can You Dig It? | What Are We | Pastors Scott & Cindy Thomas

Free Life Chapel Podcast

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  1. hello hello listen I know you want to

  2. check out this message but before you do

  3. I want to invite you to come check us

  4. out in person here at Free Life Chapel

  5. we're all about family and would love to

  6. connect with you face to face so if

  7. you're ever in the central Florida area

  8. come check us out here at FLC we want to

  9. help you discover and live the free life

  10. in Christ to learn more about who we are

  11. what we do and how you can be a part

  12. check us out at Freel chapel.org until

  13. then check out this message let's get

  14. into let's get into some talking today

  15. continuing this series that we've been

  16. on uh we just kicked it off a couple of

  17. weeks ago

  18. called what are we what are we uh

  19. qualifying

  20. relationships qualify you know okay so

  21. this drives me crazy here my chain is

  22. it's all stuck is that what's going on

  23. there we go I should have worn my Spanx

  24. I need to tuck all that in just

  25. cuz you sit down Florida devil get a

  26. bigger size people seriously you've

  27. earned their right to be happy and to

  28. breathe yeah don't do that to yourself

  29. yeah anyway anyway unless you want to go

  30. ahead what what what what are we what

  31. are we you you ever you ever we do a lot

  32. of relationships and sometimes if we're

  33. not careful we do them just so on

  34. automatic pilot that because we started

  35. the relationship well I guess we're

  36. still in it and we just continue and we

  37. don't don't think of doing things

  38. intentionally and the importance of

  39. really engaging and making some specific

  40. intentional moves forward to make life

  41. better and that's kind of what we want

  42. to hit on today and hit hit a couple of

  43. principles that we can give you that you

  44. can think about that's going to go

  45. across the board this is not just

  46. marriage it can be a parent child

  47. relationship it can be a co-worker

  48. relationship it can be a business uh

  49. partnership certainly marriage dating

  50. whatever that is desperate like whatever

  51. situation friendships which is a huge

  52. thing so so here's here's where we want

  53. to dive in

  54. communication is the key to

  55. relationships it that it is the number

  56. one I don't care who you talk to around

  57. the world all the gurus on relationships

  58. bottom line is this if you can't

  59. communicate you're in a train

  60. wreck you you you've got to be able to

  61. speak to share and there's multiple ways

  62. that we communicate but we have to have

  63. communication going on an exchange of

  64. thoughts what's going on in your head

  65. what do you feel what are your desires

  66. what what how how how is this situation

  67. affecting you we've always said if a

  68. relationship if a relationship is just

  69. nice and there's never conflict somebody

  70. in the relationship is lying

  71. right that was a that was an a man of

  72. experience right there like he like that

  73. that that

  74. was we have to be able to communicate

  75. because communication is key number one

  76. yes and conflict doesn't have to be

  77. negative we think of conflict as a

  78. negative thing screaming match and it

  79. should not be because after all we're

  80. we're reaching in following Christ and

  81. trying to be like him so can we maybe

  82. call it clarification maybe that will

  83. help you to see it differently to

  84. prepare for it differently to speak to

  85. it differently your body language

  86. communicates a lot Maybe by calling that

  87. clarifying let's clarify this point

  88. because again somebody's lying

  89. somebody's getting their way of the time

  90. but we were all created with Dominion

  91. God gave every single human Dominion one

  92. day you will wake up it might be 30

  93. years from now but you will wake up and

  94. then it's going to be all of that all

  95. over the place and somebody's going to

  96. be totally shocked so communication is

  97. everything we H we have to be able to

  98. express and communication as I said

  99. we're going to get into what what is

  100. that communic ation how does it play out

  101. but this is kind of the the the the

  102. scenario this is the foundation of what

  103. we want should

  104. understand the quality of your of your

  105. relationships determines the quality of

  106. your

  107. life if your relationships are bad life

  108. sucketh if you don't look forward to

  109. going home because of the people you

  110. have to do home with that's a problem

  111. yeah they shouldn't drain you they

  112. should fill you back up again it should

  113. be a place where I'm stronger nobody

  114. invites drama to go on vacation with

  115. them no one's just looking for a friend

  116. group to hang out with where everyone's

  117. going to be fighting this going to be

  118. fun no that's called that's called a a

  119. reality program that that's not you sit

  120. and you watch that you don't get

  121. involved in that that so so so watch

  122. this the quality of your relationships

  123. determines the quality of your life well

  124. if the quality of your relationships is

  125. determined by the quality of your

  126. communication then that means the

  127. quality of your communication determines

  128. the quality of your life that's right

  129. how well I do it communicating my heart

  130. my thoughts my feelings insecurities

  131. fears

  132. dreams how well I I do that determines

  133. the quality the value when the

  134. insecurity is gone and you can open up

  135. and share freely about what you're

  136. afraid of what you love what you hope to

  137. see I can share my dreams with my wife

  138. because she's not going to go oh my God

  139. Scott that's ridiculous

  140. I I'll I'll do that once or twice and if

  141. she keeps rainning on my dreams she'll

  142. never hear another one for the rest of

  143. my life right you shut them down I will

  144. keep them I'll find somebody else to

  145. share my dreams with and so we have to

  146. make sure that communication not just

  147. what I'm sharing but what I'm able to

  148. receive setting the atmosphere where

  149. does this come from God right is a

  150. communicator yes sir his word he's

  151. always wanted to communicate and speak

  152. to our hearts guide and Lead lead and

  153. direct us holy spirit alive in us as

  154. Believers is always prodding and leading

  155. us forward so the Bible is simply a book

  156. of communication and when we see how God

  157. communicates with those that he loves

  158. truth in love then we have to find some

  159. keys from this that we can also

  160. communicate truth in love so that we can

  161. build towards an ultimate goal and we

  162. are created in His image so you and I

  163. are always communicating something you

  164. may not open your mouth but we are

  165. always communicating so because we are

  166. always communicating that's why I think

  167. it's so important that that

  168. communication that we're giving out is

  169. excellent that is good that is quality

  170. and and and so that that word quality is

  171. really important so we're talking a lot

  172. of quality quality communication quality

  173. relationships what does quality

  174. mean well let's go to the Bible Proverbs

    Proverbs 18 chapter mention

  175. chapter 18 Proverbs 18: 19-2 one uh look

  176. at this here here here's what it says an

  177. offended friend is harder to win back

  178. than a fortified City read this

  179. arguments separate friends like a gated

  180. lock with bars wise words satisfy like a

  181. good

  182. meal the right words bring

  183. satisfaction the tongue can bring life

  184. or death those who love to talk will

  185. reap the concept anybody know somebody

  186. likes to talk a lot and you're yeah yeah

  187. okay look the Bible here is not is not

  188. slamming on people who talk a lot so if

  189. you talk a lot good for you it's okay no

  190. problem but what the word is saying is

  191. whatever you say there'll be

  192. consequences right you and I are

  193. producing results there's going to be a

  194. fruit it's going to have a kickback I

  195. can't just say anything I want to to my

  196. wife how I feel and just let her have it

  197. it will produce some consequences te

  198. sure will Caleb sure will Caleb and Liz

  199. can I come over and spend the night cuz

  200. it's kind of cold in my house right now

  201. like that's that's not good that's not

  202. good there's consequence and to the good

  203. you can pour life and strengthen to

  204. other people and when you are a Giver of

  205. Life you receive life

  206. back it really is that that life and

  207. death and the power of the tongue so so

  208. the Bible from from the jump is already

  209. talking about communication quality

  210. has to do with the the the value the

  211. worth of my investment into other people

  212. how much am I really caring about them

  213. am I talking to just to get what I need

  214. out of them am I talking to just stay

  215. close or am I truly investing in these

  216. in these people that God has put into my

  217. life I am convinced that a lot of times

  218. when and and you you and I have seen

  219. this in fact you and I have lived this I

  220. know what it is to be in in conversation

  221. with some somebody and before they

  222. finish what they're saying I'm already

  223. thinking of my

  224. response yes and which means I stopped

  225. listening to what they had to say

  226. halfway through what they said and I

  227. started to formulate my response we've

  228. got to stop back up and

  229. listen listen to me and when I say

  230. listen feel my words don't just hear

  231. them allow them to settle on your heart

  232. feel the weight of what I'm saying so

  233. that we're on the same page and so God

  234. word speaks to this very very very

  235. plainly uh married folk relationships in

  236. general I think we can all relate with

  237. this you ever gotten your sit yourself

  238. in a situation that you had to dig your

  239. way out

  240. of it's just us honey it's just us we're

  241. the problem we're the only ones that do

  242. that anybody ever had to dig your way

  243. out like you you knew you blew it and

  244. man you

  245. are anybody ever like you you you you

  246. knew you shouldn't have said it holy

  247. spirit was already there going don't say

  248. this and you heard it but you ran right

  249. through that barrier and said it anyway

  250. anybody ever done

  251. that all the

  252. time some of you say that's a small

  253. shovel compared to what I had to dig

  254. with well I understand I understand

  255. because we've all been through some

  256. stuff and we've all tried to dig our way

  257. out again I had to buy a new one because

  258. I broke my last one we we we look to try

  259. to dig our way out and and and so we're

  260. we're always we're going through stuff

  261. and we're saying stuff and we can find

  262. ourselves de but but but but I want you

  263. to understand that we don't just have a

  264. shovel for the bad times everybody in a

  265. relationship has been given a

  266. shovel you own one everybody

  267. does and what you do with that sh

  268. how you handle your communication and

  269. your words are going to decide the

  270. results of the situation you're dealing

  271. with and facing and I want to take you s

  272. are going to take you through three

  273. different scenarios of how to use your

  274. shovel to make sure you're getting the

  275. right to make sure you're getting the

  276. right stuff out of it let's let's let's

  277. talk about this today real quick let's

  278. let's go here can you dig it can you dig

  279. it well well number one

  280. the first thing that's really important

  281. if you're going to have quality

  282. relationships is you've got to bury the

  283. past can you dig

  284. it you got to bury the

  285. past there's a lot of things we've been

  286. through we've got some scenarios we got

  287. some situations we got things we've said

  288. things we've done we've got things in

  289. our relationship that we've been through

  290. we we've got all kinds of things that we

  291. can ruminate on them we can dwell on

  292. them we can keep talking about them but

  293. but I just want to remind you what you

  294. talk about will continue to live right

  295. right if you want to forget the past

  296. quit talking about it you want to forget

  297. the past change the subject that's right

  298. because there's no reason for your mind

  299. to run on anything else other than

  300. believe it or not you are one track

  301. minded and we've got to make sure that

  302. we're protecting those thoughts and we

  303. have experienced that we have

  304. experienced heard and relationships that

  305. have exited our lives and it is really

  306. easy even between us well I just you

  307. it's just me and you talking and I get

  308. that I get that we have to vent I get

  309. that we have a person but there comes a

  310. time that even with us we have to put a

  311. boundary and say you know what we can't

  312. talk about this anymore because the more

  313. we talk about it we keep digging it up

  314. and digging it up and it's forever

  315. present in every in every aspect of our

  316. life in a on a daily basis and we have

  317. had conversations it's like you know

  318. what I'm making myself accountable

  319. because words are SE seeds every word is

  320. a seed so when you put it out it's going

  321. to give you either good fruit or bad

  322. fruit is it going to give you life or

  323. death so even with us we do it with each

  324. other but also together in situations

  325. that have hurt us we decide you know

  326. what this is a boundary Let's Speak Life

  327. you can dig up the past or you can bury

  328. the past bury it you've got a shovel in

  329. your hand I can pile stuff on it and

  330. make it go away and harder to ever get

  331. back to or I can start digging up the

  332. past and then wonder why I got dead

  333. stinking stuff laying all around me it's

  334. one of the two the Bible says in

  335. Ephesians chapter 4 verse 32 it says be

    Ephesians 4:32

  336. kind and compassionate to one another

  337. forgiving each other I know it's the FW

  338. but hold on forgiving each other just as

  339. in Christ God forgave you would you

  340. turnone tell him he forgave your sorry

  341. self he forgave your sorry self we we we

  342. got some forgiven to do ourselves not no

  343. no I know we we're not crazy about this

  344. forgiving burying the past what they

  345. said what they did some of us have that

  346. that memory man you know the day the

  347. time the hour the second you know what

  348. they were wearing the cologne or the

  349. perfume that they had on you know I mean

  350. like you've got it down you're a

  351. forensic scientist when it comes to that

  352. moment right there yeah it's you can

  353. bring it up right now and we've got to

  354. decide is that going to keep living

  355. every week in this house right or we

  356. going to start burying it with some

  357. forgiveness and truly allow it to be the

  358. past because it's not the past until

  359. it's

  360. gone we've got to get it out of the

  361. present you see there's let me just kind

  362. of hit a little sidebar here I think

  363. it's let's let's run here on this point

  364. there there's two levels of forgiveness

  365. number

  366. one do you forgive even if someone does

  367. not ask for forgiveness forgiveness of

  368. course you

  369. do absolutely so hard it's it's tough if

  370. you need to wait on an apology before

  371. you actually forgive then what do you do

  372. with the person who

  373. died you've got unforgiveness towards

  374. somebody or there was a fight or

  375. something what do I do I've got to let

  376. some things go right I've got to let

  377. some things go what do you do with a

  378. coworker who moved on changed States but

  379. there was that thing that tension was

  380. still there a former employer there

  381. there's all kinds of scenarios you may

  382. never get an I'm sorry from that ex

  383. right but you've got to let him go

  384. someone shout let him go let him go you

  385. let him go because of what it's costing

  386. you I forgive I extend that forgiveness

  387. so without the apology without the the

  388. repentance do I forgive of course you do

  389. what about with the repentance somebody

  390. repents to me someone asks a spouse a

  391. friend please forgive me for this do I

  392. say yes and I of course the answer with

  393. that one again is yes I've got to accept

  394. it and I have to release him or her and

  395. let that truly be in the past why

  396. because it's costing you your peace

  397. right and if it costs your peace it's

  398. too expensive that's right that's right

  399. it's keeping you from your future you

  400. can't even laugh deep today right

  401. because you're still so anxious and torn

  402. up and there's that thing you got that

  403. bad taste in your mouth it's the

  404. aftertaste in life that you just can't

  405. get out no matter what you do the best

  406. vacation won't take it away we've got to

  407. make sure that we are actually forgiving

  408. but here's the deal there's a difference

  409. between an apology and repentance talk

  410. about it and I need you to get this let

  411. me just kind of just just run this

  412. through we came back in fact the

  413. difference between an apology and

  414. repentance decides if the person is

  415. going to be a part of your future or not

  416. right and here's how you can qualify

  417. these are some things to give you a

  418. little bit of perspective an apology is

  419. focused on the person wanting to stay

  420. connected to

  421. you repentance is the person focused on

  422. wanting to heal the damage they caused

  423. say it one more time zip

  424. apologies an

  425. apology is when someone is focused on

  426. staying close to you I don't want to

  427. lose the relationship it's too good

  428. because you buy dinner like I I I I want

  429. I want to be I just oh I'm sorry I'm

  430. sorry I'm sorry and and they want to

  431. stay close they just want to continue

  432. let's get over the bump and let's just

  433. continue the way things have been that's

  434. an apology repentance is when the person

  435. is focused on healing the damage that

  436. they caused in your life and those are

  437. two different things maybe here's

  438. another one an

  439. apology an apology is immediate an

  440. immediate expression of

  441. regret man I'm sorry that that didn't

  442. need to happen

  443. repentance is

  444. remorse over the damage that's expressed

  445. over

  446. time an apology is immediate can we just

  447. get on with it you don't understand can

  448. we move on then you're not

  449. repenting because repentance is not just

  450. what you say repentance is what you live

  451. out repentance is that you back you can

  452. apologize today but if you do the same

  453. thing next week and the same thing the

  454. next week and the same thing the next

  455. week all you're doing is apologize oling

  456. you're not repenting can I remind you

  457. what the word repentance means means to

  458. change your ways change direction when I

  459. repented and gave my heart to God I

  460. didn't say Lord come into my heart

  461. forgive me and keep living the same way

  462. I was

  463. living when I invited him into my life

  464. and said Lord forgive me I changed my

  465. ways because now I'm following him I'm

  466. no longer following me that is

  467. repentance according to the Bible and in

  468. your life and my life so digging up the

  469. past all it does is reopen open wounds

  470. and it prevents healing you and I got to

  471. make sure that we're using our shovels

  472. well that we're not just causing more

  473. pain day in and day out but we're

  474. actually going somewhere and we're

  475. moving forward we're not keeping

  476. scorecards or holding on to revenge and

  477. I think it's important because it gives

  478. us the freedom to forgive because you

  479. that way nobody is holding on you're not

  480. in bondage to anyone No One controls

  481. your destiny but God no one should have

  482. that much power and the only reason that

  483. would have that power is if we surrender

  484. it to them them that's the only way not

  485. even the enemy can have power over you

  486. we will have to surrender it so when

  487. when somebody apologizes when somebody

  488. repents either way we will forgive

  489. because it's what we choose to do

  490. because what we want for our future now

  491. Pastor Scott said that will determine

  492. the future relationship I can forgive

  493. you that doesn't mean we're back to the

  494. way it was because the way it was was

  495. not working might have been working for

  496. you but it was not working very well for

  497. me so I'm not going to hold grudges I'm

  498. not going to talk about you because I'm

  499. going to bury the past so I can't keep

  500. digging it up but I'm going to move on

  501. and I'm going to love you from afar in

  502. the love of Christ that means I don't I

  503. need

  504. Christ and I'm going to love you through

  505. his love on my

  506. own

  507. Deuces and that's okay y'all pray for

  508. your boy all right you see what I'm yeah

  509. but honey you repent you repent it's

  510. watch this boundaries are not ungodly

  511. right right it's okay to look at someone

  512. and say never again I love you God bless

  513. you good go do that somewhere else never

  514. again here yes sir and so set those the

  515. Bible says in Isaiah 43 it says this in

  516. fact read this first line with me ready

  517. go forget the former things do not dwell

  518. on the past see I'm doing a new thing

  519. now it Springs up do you not perceive it

  520. I'm making a way in the wilderness and

  521. streams in the Wasteland watch this

  522. here's what I want you to know digging

  523. up your past blocked your vision to the

  524. Future you'll never see your future as

  525. long as you're looking in your past you

  526. keep talking about back in the day you

  527. keep talking about how it used to be you

  528. keep talking about it should have been

  529. this well back we used to never do and

  530. you keep that going you'll never catch a

  531. vision for your future the Bible says

  532. forget the former things don't dwell on

  533. them I'm doing something new can't you

  534. see it in other words if you keep

  535. looking back and you stay focused on

  536. what was you'll never see what can be

  537. right ladies and gentlemen your future

  538. is way too valuable to live in a place

  539. of unrepentance anger Revenge let it go

  540. turn someone tell them let it go let it

  541. go let it go let it go let it go so y so

  542. so this week as you go by this afternoon

  543. start thinking what thing of the past do

  544. I keep digging up what is it that is

  545. robbing me from going forward and then

  546. just I mean you don't have to come up

  547. with everything think of one thing

  548. change that change that stop digging

  549. that and see what happens in the next

  550. seven

  551. days number one you got to bury the past

  552. number two here's how you use your

  553. shovel because everybody's got one

  554. everybody's got one you've got to build

  555. the

  556. present build the present when I was

  557. growing up my dad was a a foreman uh a

  558. contractor he he ran he ran uh building

  559. homes and then was actually built the

  560. home that we lived in and built the

  561. church that he was pastoring all at the

  562. same time and as a kid I would go out on

  563. non-school days and I would work with my

  564. dad I had my little tool apron that I

  565. would tie my I would tie tie on and and

  566. get out there and run with him and he

  567. had me digging ditches for the the

  568. founders the the the the the the the

  569. foundation the Footers for the house and

  570. and for the church and and we we did a

  571. lot of digging that was a part of what

  572. we did I had to I had to mix concrete by

  573. hand child labor back in the day uh but

  574. but Mixing concrete and I'm using the

  575. shovel and had the big mud box and I I

  576. had it down how much cement and sand and

  577. water I had it down but it it took my

  578. shovel to do that in order to build

  579. something right now and here's what I

  580. want you to understand not only does

  581. your shovel have the ability to bury the

  582. past your shovel has the ability to

  583. build the present and it's going to take

  584. shovel FS regularly pouring onto those

  585. relationships in order for let them stay

  586. healthy and going in the right direction

  587. shovel fulls of Joy shovel fulls of

  588. laughter shovel fulls of encouragement

  589. shovel fulls of I'm here I got your back

  590. bro shovel fulls of a little text

  591. message that just just shoots out just

  592. because I made two calls to some friends

  593. of mine yesterday left them voicemail I

  594. love I love the little application where

  595. you can pull it up to leave M text and

  596. just hit the little thing where you

  597. don't have to talk to anybody

  598. and you just record your voice and you

  599. send them a voicemail right you're just

  600. that way that because if you call or

  601. text they might answer and I don't want

  602. to talk to anybody but I just want to

  603. say I love you and I'm thinking about

  604. you y'all know what I'm talking about I

  605. ain't got time to talk but I just want

  606. to shoot it it's easier than texting

  607. right so that that's but but we we've

  608. got to shoot shovel fulls we got to put

  609. shovel fulls on top of our marriage on

  610. top of our children on top of co-workers

  611. don't just assume that they know that

  612. you care or that you love look him in

  613. the face tell them Yo you're doing good

  614. I love you what can I do anything for

  615. you lean in use your shovel to build the

  616. present yes because as we continue to

  617. pour in if you noticed I mean I never

  618. did

  619. construction I know it's hard to believe

  620. that I didn't but I've seen piles of

  621. dirt that somebody with a

  622. shovel you know shoveled in there and he

  623. looks really

  624. mushy and I have never done it but I've

  625. seen kids run and like jump on there and

  626. it is mushy it's mushy it's mushy it's

  627. cushiony yes it I can't do it cuz then

  628. I'll be dirty and I can't do that

  629. however what what I the way I see it is

  630. the more you build the more you shovel

  631. in is building a buffer and when you

  632. build a buffer I know we do it with us I

  633. do it with my kids I'm really trying to

  634. do it with their staff it builds a bu

  635. offer so then when something comes up

  636. because we're human because we all have

  637. funky days when something comes up and

  638. we're sideways on the same day and

  639. there's a little bit of friction it's

  640. okay because there's so much buffer

  641. between you and I we just bounce We Just

  642. Bounce and everything is okay everything

  643. is not a big State of the Union Address

  644. doesn't require because there's so much

  645. cushion between us because we've built

  646. and we buil and we've poured in and

  647. poured in well we we we've insulated and

  648. cushion those relationships so we don't

  649. have raw nerves that are just out there

  650. exactly Ephesians 4: 29 says this do not

  651. use harmful words but only helpful

  652. words the kind that build up and provide

  653. what is needed so that what you say will

  654. do good to those who hear you in other

  655. words watch your

  656. [Music]

  657. mouth like deal with that

  658. David prayed this way in the psalm Lord

  659. put a guard at my

  660. mouth because I might say something that

  661. I shouldn't say today you do understand

  662. you should not say everything you think

  663. right everyone understands that that

  664. might not go well I I promise you right

  665. now we we've got to set guards at our

  666. mouth our job if we're going to build

  667. the present watch this everyone's job

  668. under the sound of my voice everybody

  669. you want what's your purpose in life

  670. you're to be a

  671. lifegiver right you're to produce life

  672. in people they should smile when you

  673. show up they're

  674. here that Cindy does that every time I

  675. walk in the

  676. house it it it's it's wonderful it's

  677. precious it's

  678. sweet I'm working on it I'm working on

  679. it but we're to be lifegiver a lifegiver

  680. at work a lifegiver with your kids make

  681. your kids laugh not always correcting

  682. catch them doing the right things pour

  683. life into them celebrate Joy I'm not

  684. saying that we we we live life

  685. we certainly speak truth as well we we

  686. we don't hold that back but man when

  687. you're giving life life life life when

  688. we when there's an area that needs to be

  689. corrected or redirected or realigned we

  690. can do that as cind he said because

  691. we've built enough equity into the

  692. relationship that it's not always hard

  693. but it's the laughter and the joy that

  694. allows us to talk in these situations we

  695. need this in our business we need this

  696. with our friendships we need us in our

  697. families we certainly need it in our

  698. marriages we've got to keep using our

  699. shovel fulls of joy and hope and

  700. encouragement and love and communication

  701. to pile that on so no one ever questions

  702. how you feel about them they feel that

  703. love they feel that support they feel

  704. that strength it matters and we have to

  705. be intentional about it because I don't

  706. know about you but the flesh this human

  707. Beast that we are you don't even have to

  708. think to say the wrong thing it's like

  709. breathing you don't even know you're

  710. doing it it just happens it's like a

  711. gift that I have I don't know about you

  712. but I know I have it and but to to speak

  713. life and to build you have to be

  714. intentional it's not going to happen by

  715. accident it's not going to happen

  716. because you're thinking you got to put

  717. action you have to be intentional you

  718. have to wake up and say how you got to

  719. get a plan how am I I going to be a

  720. blessing today to Scott to my

  721. personality it doesn't come natural to

  722. me I am a person that I my job is to go

  723. and look what is wrong and point it out

  724. so we can bring it into order that is my

  725. that is what makes me valuable in the

  726. team however I have to be intentional to

  727. walk in a room and intentionally see

  728. what is working and call it out with the

  729. same energy and same intention that I do

  730. the job that I need to continue to do

  731. but I have to balance myself that is my

  732. responsibility and we need to do it

  733. because we want to build and if you want

  734. different relationships and it's not

  735. working out we got to do something

  736. different try it money back guaranteed

  737. by

  738. [Applause]

  739. Scott I I trust your shovel

  740. honey you don't gravitate towards every

  741. voice

  742. if you think about right

  743. now who do you want to hang with you're

  744. going to think immediately of somebody

  745. who is an encourager someone who makes

  746. you laugh someone who is man it's good

  747. to be around him I'm just I can drop my

  748. guard yeah they're not after anything

  749. that I have I'm not competing with them

  750. that's that's my guy that's my girl

  751. hopefully that's what your marriage

  752. feels like yeah if if you're engaged and

  753. you don't feel that run for run today

  754. get it right it matters so number one

  755. bury the past number two build the

  756. present number three use your shovel to

  757. surprising shocking prep for the future

  758. yes prepare for the future what do I

  759. mean by that when when I was when I was

  760. growing up you you've heard me talk a

  761. lot about my uncle's Farm well in the

  762. back of our house not just at my uncle's

  763. Farm Dad decided he wanted to put in a

  764. garden and so um in order for him to

  765. have a garden he sent his child out

  766. child labor and had me do some of the

  767. clearing of the and so I had the shovel

  768. digging up rocks and moving things out

  769. of the way for this little patch that we

  770. could plant all of our veggies in other

  771. words I used my shovel to prep for the

  772. things that were going to come in the

  773. future you and I when we use our shovels

  774. right that we all have in the

  775. relationships around us it's not just

  776. burying the past and it's not just

  777. building the present but we're also able

  778. to help people look into the future and

  779. Dream Out Loud

  780. yes I I have I have discovered it's a

  781. very rare gift when you find a friend

  782. who you can dream with yes someone who

  783. can like tell you stuff that 99 out of

  784. 100 will look at you go oh that's never

  785. going to work and they may be

  786. right but I don't need to hear

  787. that I need someone who go wow how cool

  788. would that be if that happened man what

  789. if we tried this what about if you have

  790. have you you ever looked at this have

  791. you ever read that man I talked to

  792. somebody who's doing that very thing how

  793. about somebody who helps to push your

  794. dream forward not just throw water on it

  795. and douse it and kill it immediately

  796. it's critical that we are using our

  797. shovel fulls to help build people's

  798. future help them to see clearer going

  799. forward bring the dreams alive why

  800. because it's in the dream that someone

  801. finds purpose it's in the dream that

  802. someone finds their creativity their Joy

  803. a new reason to wake up in the morning

  804. not just a job but now I'm working on

  805. career those those become major changes

  806. in our mind and our heart but we have to

  807. be people number one that pours into

  808. other people's dreams and number two

  809. have those people in our life that

  810. Waters and adds fuel to our dreams as

  811. well Dream Out Loud do get somebody that

  812. you can do with somebody that you that

  813. that you can that that that you are the

  814. person that they can dream with we've

  815. got to use our shovels to build for the

  816. future and it is important important

  817. because it is not our job to protect

  818. people and sometimes we don't let people

  819. dream because we are looking at all the

  820. things that may or may not work listen

  821. God is their Source the same way that

  822. he's your Source the same way that God

  823. orders your steps and open and closes

  824. doors for you God will open and close

  825. doors for them let them dream because in

  826. that in that dreaming they may think

  827. they're going into this door but that

  828. door is just a hallway and it's going to

  829. take them to all doors they cannot even

  830. see they have never been exposed to and

  831. your encouragement is going to take them

  832. that way you it is not our job to police

  833. the dreams it is our job to encourage

  834. now speak truth if somebody can't sing

  835. don't encourage them to go on The Voice

  836. or American Idol or any of those you

  837. know don't lie to people platform at

  838. free life CH yeah don't lie don't lie to

  839. people but encourage other people be

  840. that person that when somebody needs to

  841. celebrate that you you are the first

  842. spener that comes to mind be that person

  843. yeah that

  844. that's the value of that in other words

  845. help

  846. somebody help somebody clear the path

  847. yes towards their desired future the

  848. Bible says this in 1 Thessalonians

    1 Thessalonians 5:11

  849. 5:11 encourage and build one another up

  850. just as you're already doing oh I I like

  851. this one Proverbs chap 11

  852. 11:25 help others and you will be helped

  853. that part so good you need some help

  854. stop asking everyone to help you and

  855. start helping others and when you start

  856. pouring into others when I use my shovel

  857. to build others they'll pull their

  858. shovel out to help me and ladies and

  859. gentlemen their shovel might be bigger

  860. than

  861. yours you just never know what someone

  862. can help do in your life would you

  863. please stand to your feet

  864. you still may need to use your shovel to

  865. dig yourself out of a hole you put

  866. yourself in I get that been there done

  867. that but ladies and gentlemen we can we

  868. can use these these giftings these

  869. abilities that God has given all of

  870. us to end a past yeah let it go yeah let

  871. it

  872. go drop the score

  873. card if the person that caused you pain

  874. and hurt is

  875. repentant and they're showing you I'm

  876. sorry I'm living this the best I can to

  877. express that believe them and move

  878. forward use the shovel to bury the past

  879. use the shovel to build the present pour

  880. life into people strengthen them

  881. encourage them love them laugh with them

  882. and number three use that shovel to prep

  883. the way for the future yeah dream with

  884. them encourage pour ideas into them

  885. bring it to life you never know what God

  886. will do with that and you and I get the

  887. opportunity the privilege of being a

  888. part of what God's doing in their life

  889. you're made to be a lifegiver that's

  890. what your shoveled is all about yeah if

  891. you use it well it will come back and

  892. feed you if it use it

  893. wrong tragic there's consequences yes

  894. there's a fruit to everything we do and

  895. if you don't like the fruit that's on

  896. the table then maybe we need to change

  897. how we're using the shovel yeah yeah I

  898. want to pray I want to pray today for

  899. relationships in general today there

  900. some of you in this room that are

  901. hurting there's some marriages that are

  902. in difficult difficult situations right

  903. now I get it I get it marriage is tough

  904. marriage takes work marriage takes Jesus

  905. he does marriage takes Jesus sure does

  906. takes a humble heart lot of repenting

  907. lot of repenting I I made reservations

  908. at Domino's for Valentine's Day and she

  909. was so upset like what I want a Palace

  910. Pizza you want a pal yeah I'm okay I'm

  911. kidding let's pray father thank you for

  912. the ability that we have to call on you

  913. in our relationships and know that

  914. you're interested you're there your word

  915. continues to push us together draw us

  916. together as a body as a family as as a

  917. unit two becoming one when it comes to

  918. marriage and God in order for that to

  919. happen there's a lot of humility Pride

  920. Must Die selfishness must go

  921. selflessness must come serving each

  922. other loving each other considering

  923. others God this is the call of your word

  924. even to consider others Beyond and

  925. before oursel I pray God that you would

  926. heal situations in this room and just

  927. simple conversations that we would have

  928. on two chairs on a Sunday morning that

  929. would just open some hearts and

  930. conversation to maybe God you're doing

  931. something in our home start a new

  932. conversation get some words of healing

  933. and joy and laughter and encouragement

  934. flowing let the dreams begin to break

  935. out again Lord let us begin to plan

  936. towards the future bury a past build a

  937. present structure and build towards

  938. dream towards the future God let that be

  939. a part of who we are because we

  940. understand that that that we sow we will

  941. reap so today God I pray for every

  942. person every relationship in this room

  943. God heal parent child relationships yes

  944. heal friendships in this room heal

  945. marriages God would you just do

  946. something in all of our lives and remind

  947. us that we live live for your pleasure

  948. and that if we'll do things your way

  949. we'll get your results thank you for

  950. this we bless you for it all in Jesus

  951. name amen amen we hope you enjoyed this

  952. message to hear more impactful messages

  953. just like this one check us out at

  954. freelife chapel.org we hope you have an

  955. amazing week